Chapter Three – Nick

“Thank you again for this, Mom, I really do appreciate it,” I tell her gratefully while finishing up tying my cravat up. “And of course, Toby is over the moon to have you here. He loves his grandma.”

“Oh, I’m just glad that I get to see Toby now,” Mom replies wryly. “I thought I wouldn’t ever get this.”

I purse my lips together, already feeling the tension flowing from Mom as she says this. She knows it wasn’t me that kept her away, but I suppose she also assumes that I could’ve done more. I didn’t mean to get controlled by Liz but I suppose I let that happen more than I intended to. It was always anything for an easy life.

When she sees that I’m not going to say anything else she continues. “And it’s Melissa that you’re going to this event with? I’ve always liked Melissa a lot. She’s such a beautiful person, inside and out.”

I roll my eyes, already knowing what she’s going to say next. “Yes, I know, Mom, and you always hoped that me and her would end up together, but that’s never going to happen. We’re just too different…”

“Now, maybe, but you were very similar when you were younger. Like peas in a pod. I know that version of you is still there, you just need to drag it out, that’s all. Plus, opposites attract anyway. Look at me and your father. We couldn’t be more different and we managed to have thirty years of successful marriage until he passed away. He was stiffer, more serious, more organized than me, I’ve always been a freer spirit.”

I suppose that’s right, I haven’t ever thought about that much. Ever since Dad died just after my fourteenth birthday I don’t think too much about him, but he was nothing like my mother at all. They just made it work.

“I don’t know, Mom,” I whine back. “I’m not really thinking about dating anyone right now.”

“Why? Are you going to let that horrible woman rule your life forever?”

I give her a look, silently pleading with her to keep the slagging off to a bare minimum around Toby. I don’t ever want him to grow up thinking that I pushed his mother away. Even if she came back now wanting access to him, I would be wary but I wouldn’t do anything to stop her. It wasn’t right for him to not know her.

“Mom, I’m not doing anything, I’m just being smart.” I lean down and kiss her on the cheek. “I’m just focusing on Toby and trying to keep us going at the moment. Nothing else matters.”

“I know that, I’m just concerned about you, that’s all. Since Toby is at school during the day, there’s nothing holding you back from having your whole life back to something like what it was.”

That feels like a pipe dream at the moment, I’m still trying to just hold it together. That’s all I need to do right now. I do want all of that, but I’m willing to wait until I feel totally ready.

“Oh, was that the door?” Mom asks, trying too hard to sound innocent. “Melissa must be here.”

“Don’t say that too loud,” I hiss back, quietening her down. “You’ve only just got Toby down, if he hears Melissa’s name, he’ll be up again in an instant. He loves Melissa, don’t you forget that.”

She simply gives me a knowing smile back, almost as if this is confirmation of what she already thought. She had the crazy idea that me and Melissa should be together in high school and she still thinks that now. I suppose the fact that Toby loves her too is just another reason why. Although, I have to admit when I saw them playing together at her apartment the other day, it made my heart melt as well. But only because it reminds me that she’s someone I need to keep around forever for my son’s sake, not for any other reason at all.

I bounce down the stairs two at a time and I swing the door open. For a couple of seconds, I’m so blown away by the sight of Melissa in the gorgeous red tight fitting dress that I sent over to her this morning and my breath is completely stripped from my body. If I didn’t pick that dress, I might not have believed that it’s her.

“I know, right?” Melissa laughs with a wink. “I scrub up pretty nice if I do say so myself.”

She’s underplaying how good she looks. Her raven hair is filled with corkscrew curls, hanging adorably around her high cheekbones. She looks like she has had her make up professionally done, there’s almost a glow around her that sucks me in and makes me want to hold her tightly in my arms… or maybe that’s my mom’s words playing with my mind, making me think things that aren’t really there.

“Yes, you scrub up well too.” She looks me up and down. “You look nice in your suit. Is your mom here?”

I step back and allow her to push past me, making herself at home. She races into the kitchen where she and my mother catch up for a while, gossiping like they’re best friends in the world. All the while, I remain in the hallway, stunned into silence while I inhale the fruity scent of the perfume she has on. There’s something about Melissa today that’s different, and it makes me feel all new inside. Like something has been scrubbed and refreshed and because of that I feel so much better. More like myself, which is odd.

Well, she will make Liz jealous, I think to myself with a head shake. My God will she.

As I eventually follow Melissa into the kitchen and I glance at her hand, I notice that she has a diamond ring sitting on her left hand. I sent that with the dress, but I guess I didn’t fully expect her to wear it. It feels really nice to see it there, it’s been eight long months since I’ve belonged to someone and I like the sensation.

“Melissa has just been telling me about her work at the Smith household,” Mom says with a grin. “That’s pretty great, isn’t it? Landing a contract like that. You must work hard.”

I can’t tell if this is a double edged sword, another dig at me for not having any work at the moment, but in my shock I let it wash over me easily. To be perfectly honest, my brain is too busy darting my eyes over to Melissa to take it in properly. There’s a deep buzzing in my head that I can’t shake off.

“Oh yeah I do.” Melissa smiles. “But it’s a lot of fun. I really love what I do.”

Hmmm… did I ever love what I did? When I worked with Pete in finance, did I love it? I know that I was very good at it which is why I can afford to take so much time off even after giving up half of my fortune. But I didn’t enjoy it, it didn’t give me a deep thrill in the pit of my stomach. I just did it.

But what can I do that I do love? I guess that’s a good place to start when it comes to planning my next company. That will help m with the motivation that I so desperately need. It gives me something to think about…

“Do we need to go?” All of a sudden, Melissa drags me from my thoughts by reminding me about the present moment. “Do we need to call a cab or something to take us to the event?”

“I’ll drive us, I don’t mind.” I glance at my watch. “But yes, maybe we should be leaving now.”

Melissa and Mom share a hug, and I can really see the love there. It’s amazing how much better she slots into my family than Liz ever did. She’s so easy going, they all simply adore her, it’s easy to be around her. It leaves me pondering what it would be like if things had ever been different. Maybe if we didn’t meet so young and fall into the friendship trap too quickly, we could have been something else. Perhaps. I don’t know.

Stop thinking that way, I have to quickly remind myself. None of this is real. It’s all a ploy. It’s all a game.

Only, weirdly, the closer I get to the moment, the less this is about Liz anymore. When I first spoke to Dan, the burning desire for her to see me happy was at the top of my list, it was the main point of all of it, but now I don’t even think I’d care if she and Pete weren’t even there. Me and Melissa will have such a good time anyway.

“Come on then, we need to get going,” I remind Melissa. “You two can talk anytime.”

“We should all have dinner some time next week.” Mom isn’t ready to let it go. She holds onto Melissa’s hands for a couple of seconds longer to keep the focus purely on her. “Don’t you think?”

“Just text me, set it up anytime and I will be there. So long as Toby is.” She grabs my hand, a sensation that probably isn’t as strange as it should be considering it’s the first time. “Okay, let’s do this.”

I take her to the car and watch as she slides into the passenger’s seat. My pulse races with nerves but excitement too. I didn’t think there would be any part of me that wanted to go to this, but I do. It’s odd.

“Will there be an open bar?” Melissa asks me as I start up the car. “I need a drink right now. Or will I be allowed a drink?” She looks me up and down. “Since you’ll be the sober driver?”

“You drink as much as you want,” I chuckle back. “I know this will be daunting for you, but I’m sure it’ll be fun too. Plus, you might even make some more business contacts. Did you bring your business cards with you?”

“Of course,” she sneers pulling them out. “What sort of idiot do you think I am?”

I toss my head back and laugh at her. “Sure, I know you aren’t. Sorry, I was just thinking that you might as well make the best of a crazy situation. I know this probably isn’t the way you want to spend tonight.”

“I don’t mind. I’m happy to.”

We fall into silence for a few moments while I focus on the road, but as I speak again I do so with a quieter, much more serious voice. I want her to know that I really do mean this. I don’t often get serious with Melissa, we have much more of a playful friendship, but for once I need to be grave.

“Thank you again for coming with me. I really do appreciate it. It means a lot.”

“Oh, come on.” She pinches my arm playfully. “You know that I’ll do anything for you.”

I do, that’s the thing, and it’s making my brain churn. I don’t know where all of this has come from but I’m suddenly seeing her in a different light. It’s a way that I haven’t ever seen her before and it’s wild. It’s starting to make tonight feel like a very first date where the possibilities are endless.

It isn’t, I scold myself. It’s just Melissa, not a date. Don’t start acting nuts.

But my heart feels what it wants and my brain continues to tick in the wrong direction. The lines of what’s right and what’s acceptable start to blur together and I feel control slipping away from me. At this rate, I’m going to end up doing something crazy that changes things forever…