Chapter Five – Nick

The food is all across the table and I’m still alone. I feel quite anxious and I keep darting my eyes towards the bathroom door. Granted, I was caught up by Dan for a while so I wasn’t actually looking. I might have missed her, but she should be here by now, shouldn’t she? I’m really confused as to what’s going on. Especially as we just had the most amazing kiss in the world. One that I didn’t even plan. I just saw her and went for it. The moment felt right, but I haven’t seen her since then and now I’m a little freaked out. Where the hell is she?

I get a glimpse over to another table where Liz is sitting with Pete’s arm wrapped around her, almost as if he can’t bear to stop touching her, even while they eat. It’s sickening, but also, I don’t feel enough. This might be the first time that I’ve been in the same room as them for ages so I should still be… I don’t know, raw, I suppose. I mean, they did turn my whole life upside, but I don’t feel anything. I’m too worried about Melissa.

The moment Liz sends me a smug smile I begin to panic. Is that a knowing look? Has she done something? I push my chair back, ready to race towards the bathroom, but before I get anywhere near, Melisa finally bursts through those doors. Eventually, she’s leaving the bathroom, thank goodness! I glance over to Liz again but she isn’t looking now. Maybe I imagined that anyway, my own paranoia got in the way. I need to forget about her.

As Melissa comes to sit next to me, I’m struck by how different she looks. And just because I’ve kissed her, I’m starting to see her in a very new light, because her face is sunken and sad.

“Are you okay?” I whisper to her, leaning in so only she can hear me. “You look upset.”

She glances up at me through her eyelashes and I can really see the true depth of her emotion there. There’s one hundred percent something going on behind her eyes and it freaks me out. What if she hates me now?

“I’m okay,” she replies stiffly, shutting me out completely. “The food looks really nice.”

She digs into her meal and I sit back for a moment just watching her. Her shoulders have rolled up around her ears, I haven’t ever seen her looking so stressed. Usually, she’s the calmest person I know.

“Melissa.” I touch her on the arm, causing her to snap away from me. “What’s going on?”

“I… don’t know,” she eventually admits. “I feel all weird about this now.”

I let out a big breath that I didn’t even realize I was holding. “I see. Because of the kiss?”

Melissa looks shocked that I’ve gone in so directly, but I have no intension of beating around the bush when it comes to her. “Erm, not really. I mean, yes, but not totally. I…” She looks around, almost as if she’s checking that no one else can hear her. “I ran into Liz in the bathroom and she wasn’t very pleasant with me.”

My hackles rise, I immediately get close to losing my shit. Fucking Liz. I half expected her to come after me but I never thought she would sink low enough to chase Melissa. I don’t know why I keep expecting her to be a much better person than she is. “She did what?” I practically spit out. “What happened?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Melissa looks ashamed, as if this is her fault not Liz’s. “Can we just eat?”

For a moment I let her have her own way. I grab my fork, stab it into a piece of carrot on my plate, and I chew on it thoughtfully. I allow the idea of Liz cornering Melissa in the bathroom and being her usual bitch self and it makes my blood boil. I can feel it fizzing angrily inside myself, stewing and growing in intensity. How can I just sit here and eat like everything is normal, letting Liz get away with being nasty as hell.

No. I shake my head to myself. No, she can hurt me but fuck her for hurting Melissa.

The pain is written all over Melissa’s face. She’s in absolute agony. Whatever she said, it must have been bad and I need to know what it is. I slam my fork down hard, forcing Melissa to look at me.

“What happened? I need to know. This is really doing my head in now.”

“Shh,” Melissa begs. “It’s fine honestly. She just basically said that I shouldn’t be after you for your money and that you are still her business… all sorts of crazy things. I can hardly even remember, it doesn’t matter anyway. She just wanted me to feel small and stupid because she saw us kissing.”

My expression darkens. I feel like utter shit. “Mother fucker, she was not supposed to see that.”

“She wasn’t?” Melissa cocks her head curiously at me. “I thought that was the whole point.”

My blood runs icy cold, mostly because I suppose she’s right. That was the original idea but when I kissed her I wasn’t thinking about anyone else. The rest of the room vanished into nothing. I didn’t even care about anyone, I was so sucked in to the magnetism of her that honestly, she was everything to me. I only cared about her and what she thought about. It wasn’t anything to do with Liz, but how can I explain that now?

“No, no, it really wasn’t.” I try to reach for her hand but she takes it away, still mad at me. “I promise.”

“But it isn’t anything, is it?” She throws her hands in the air in frustration. “This is all so messed up.”

I can’t stand this, it really shouldn’t be this way right now. This should be a nice time, a moment while we try to figure out what we mean to one another. I shouldn’t be thinking about the past. The fact that Liz is even in this moment kills me, I can feel it destroying me from the inside out. I lay down before and took it. Yes, there was a massive argument but I was much too hurt to get my point across properly. Finding her with Pete knocked the foundation of my life out from under me so I was too shocked, but now, for Melissa, I want to stand up for myself.

“Wait right here,” I insisted while scraping my chair back. “I’ll be back.”

“Nick, no…” Melissa calls out after me but I ignore her. This is burning now, coursing through me, sizzling inside of me and I need to get it all off of my chest. There’s nothing that will stop me.

I can feel eyes pricking up towards me as I stomp across the room. I guess this isn’t the way people usually behave at this type of posh event, especially when I’m about to get an award for something or another. But none of that matters. I feel like I’m finally about to get somewhere huge. I’m going to get my closure.

“Ah, hello there.” Liz looks pleased when she sees me. She swings one leg over the other and leans back in her chair. “I have been wondering when you might come over here to see me. Haven’t we, Pete?”

She’s trying to make me look stupid now in front of all these people. She wants to control the conversation, knocking me off my feet by reminding me that she’s still with Pete. Perhaps before I came here tonight without Melissa it might have worked, but not now. Now I have something very serious to fight for.

“I have come here to remind you that we are divorced,” I say determinedly, jutting out my chin as I do. “And the reason that we’re divorced is because you and Pete were fucking behind my back.” She darts a smug look at Pete, trying to rile me up even further. It doesn’t work. “Which of course means that you’ll never be able to trust one another. But since the two of you are together I want you to keep out of my business…”

“Your business?” Liz sneers. She can see everyone discretely looking at us just as much as I can. The only difference is she’s playing up for them whereas I’m ignoring them. “What that scruffy little tart?”

“Do not say anything bad about Melissa. She has nothing to do with you.”

“Ppft, you’re my husband. Your business is my business.”

“Ex!” I yell back. “Ex husband. I am nothing to do with you anymore. And before you say anything about Melissa I would like to remind you that she’s the one who’s been there in my life and Toby’s, since you left. Or have you forgotten about the son who you abandoned?” Someone gasps, giving up the pretense that they aren’t listening anymore. Well good. Everyone should know what sort of woman sits among them. “So, while you’re out there screwing around with anyone who will have you, I’m taking care of our child with Melissa’s help.”

“I… I…” Liz has gone red, the public nature of this clearly embarrasses her. “I try to see him…”

“No, you do not, you signed away your parental rights at the divorce proceedings. For money. All you cared about was getting your hands on half of my money. And you have that, so I hope you and Pete are very happy now. Just leave me alone and leave Melissa alone. She has nothing to do with you.”

Liz parts her lips, almost as if she’s going to say something but, in the end, she leaves her jaw hanging. I’m sure, hers isn’t the only open mouth, I’m sure it’s shocking news. I haven’t been around these people since it happened so they’ll have only heard one side of the story, if any. Now I have my point across. Now people can see that I’m not the bad guy and I got to show my disdain for Liz as well. It feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I have actually gotten a little bit of closure and it feels really good.

As I walk away from Liz and Pete – who has remained silent I notice – I feel like I’m floating on air. I’m barely even touching the ground any longer, just hovering along the ground. A happy cloud encases me, it lifts me up and makes me feel more excitable than I ever have done before. This is utterly incredible.

“Come on, Melissa,” I say as I pass her, soaking in the shocked look on her face. “Let’s get out of here.”

“But what about your award…”

I shake my head. “I don’t care about that. I just want to go, to spend some time with you.”

She lifts up slowly, keeping her eyes fixed on mine the entire time, and she gives me her hand. Walking out of that meeting with this beautiful, special woman is the most incredible sensation in the whole damn world. I would give up ten thousand awards for it. I honestly don’t care about that anyway. Everything in that room is from my past, and it’s a past that I don’t want anymore. Now, all I want is the present, the future. The future that might well include Melissa if I play my cards right.

“So, where do we go from here?” Melissa asks me with a shake in her voice. “What now?”

“Home,” I answer her with a glow about me. “We’re going home.”

There’s nowhere I would rather be in the world than here, with her. I wrap my arm around her and pull her close to me, hugging her and allowing my feelings to shift.