Chapter Nine – Nick

I pace the room nervously, waiting for Melissa to finally turn up. It’s ten past eight already and since she isn’t ever late, I’m concerned. What if she decides against it and doesn’t bother to turn up? That will crush me! I don’t think she will since she knows better than anyone what I’ve been through, but maybe this is all too much for her.

Yes, we had a great time on that night, and yes, I might want us to become more, but Melissa isn’t the one with all the baggage, so the ball is very much in her court. I have Liz, a vindictive horrible ex wife who I’m sure is out for my blood now that I embarrassed her in public. Liz has already shown that she doesn’t mind going after Melissa as well, which doesn’t help me at all. And on top of that, I have Toby. Melissa might like him a lot, they may have this wonderful relationship, but it isn’t a full time thing. Taking my boy on all the time is something else. She might not be able to handle it, she may not want to try. It’s heavy, a real responsibility. I can’t force her if it isn’t what she wants. It’ll be upsetting, but I suppose it’s better that we figure that out now than when we’re more emotionally involved. I can’t lose another person that I love, and nor can my boy. That’s just how it is.

Knock, knock.

The sound is so quiet I almost don’t hear it at first. If I wasn’t in such a state of hyper alertness then maybe I wouldn’t have heard it at all but as soon as I do I practically run towards the front door, needing her here now. I swing the door open, sucking in a breath as I catch my first glimpse of her since that night. Or not so much the night but the morning afterwards. I didn’t spot her as she raced away leaving the dress and the ring behind as a little message that the game and everything that came with it was done, and half of me feared that I wouldn’t see her again. I didn’t want to think that sex might be the thing to destroy our friendship, but for a while there was a massive chance. The longer she didn’t speak to me, the more realistic it seemed.

“Hi,” I breathed out, running my eyes up and down her body. She’s in her overalls and a painted tee shirt, looking far more like herself. I’m glad, I much prefer her this way. “Thank you for coming.”

An adorable blush fills her cheeks as she connects her gaze with mine. “Thank you for having me.”

It’s odd for us to be so formal after everything that we’ve been through, but what else can we do?

“Come inside.” I step to the side and indicate for her to come in. “I have dinner almost ready.”

“You didn’t cook, did you?” She looks shocked. “You didn’t have to go to so much effort.”

“Oh, now I wish I had, just to prove you wrong. But, no I ordered take out. I just haven’t got plates out.”

She smiles thinly, her face turning a funny shade of green. I don’t think she’s ready to eat yet so I won’t push her. I guess she’s as keen as me to finally have this conversation. I take a seat at the dining table and stare intently at her across it instead. She folds her hands across each other, twisting her fingers with nerves.

“So, erm…” I want to be the man to start this conversation, but I don’t know where to begin. “I guess we need to talk about how we feel after… well after the event.” I sigh deeply. “Do you want to begin?”

She stares at me and the intensity of her gaze bores into my soul. “I want to know how you feel about Liz.”

“Liz?” That’s almost laughable, she’s completely gone from my brain now. “What do you mean?”

When Melissa crosses her arm over her chest, it’s defensive. She’s protecting herself and I guess that means she really is worried about me and Liz which is crazy because she’s done now, out of my mind for good.

“Well, I mean…” She shrugs at me. “You wanted to make her jealous and things got… out of hand, I suppose.”

“Out of hand? Is that really how you want to describe what happened because that isn’t how I remember it.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know how to describe it really, and that’s because I don’t know how you feel about Liz. There has to be something still there if you wanted to wind her up in the first place, doesn’t there?”

I shake my head vigorously. “No, there isn’t,” I tell her firmly. “The reason I wanted you there is different. Yes, I wanted to hurt her and Pete, but mostly because they destroyed me with their cheating. I didn’t want them to think that I was still in pain over what they did, I wanted them to think that I had moved on and that I was happy again.” I chew on the inside of my mouth. “It was more about the perception of me than anything else.”

I don’t know if that makes much sense to be honest, but Melissa drinks it in as if it does which is the main thing. “Okay, so you wanted to look like you were doing well. I see. But that doesn’t explain how we’re here.”

I cock my head towards her and wonder why she doesn’t see it. “Melissa, we’re here because that night you captivated me, I started to see you in a completely different, truly wonderful light.” I smile, mostly to myself as I remember that lightning bolt moment. “You’ve always been different, I’ve always felt something for you, but I couldn’t work out what. I didn’t realize what it meant, but it’s everything. You are everything.” I say this gravely, I need her to know just how much I mean this. “I’ve always known you’re beautiful, but I didn’t realize how deeply that beauty touched me, I’ve always known that you’re a wonderful person, but I didn’t know how much I needed you.” I reach out to grab her hand. The silky feeling of her hand against mine is intense. It makes everything that I’m saying so much more powerful. “You’ve been amazing with Toby, he loves you. If you wanted to be in his life then he would love it, honestly. Not that I’m trying to pressure you or anything.”

I let out a little sound that’s supposed to be a laugh but it doesn’t quite work out as I want it to. It’s too strangled. I’m giving the depth of my feelings away without even meaning to.

“But it really happened just before I kissed you. Everything hit me all at once. It was shocking, it nearly knocked me off my feet. All I knew in that moment was how much I wanted to kiss you. It was a feeling so powerful that I had to cave to it. I didn’t have any other choice but to hold onto you right then.”

I feel like maybe I’ve let too much out. The blown away expression on Melissa’s face says as much, so I clamp my mouth closed and I wait for her to speak. The funny thing is I’ve always been closed off with my feelings before, it took me ages to confess how I felt to Liz, but with Melissa it feels so easy.

“Wow, I… I wasn’t expecting you to say any of that. That’s intense.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” I shake my head, trying to calm down. “I guess I just want you to know how I feel.” There’s no point in denying it, not now. “But if you don’t feel the same way…”

“Oh no, I do,” she jumps in quickly. “I know I do, I have done for a long time I just…” She pauses and visibly bites down on her bottom lip, making me wish that it was me doing the chewing. “I just didn’t ever expect you to feel the same way. It’s crazy to me to hear you saying all of this. I’m a bit… confused.”

Hearing that she feels the same, that she isn’t confused about how much she likes me, gives me the green light that I need. We can talk about this forever more, hash it out, circle over every single detail of how we can make this work, or I can just place my hands on either sides of her cheeks and I can kiss her. I know which option I prefer the most, the one that lands me a kiss. So, that’s the one I go with.

Melissa doesn’t resist, not even for a moment. She presses her lips into mine and the softness of her mouth sends me flying. My heart soars, my body roars, I feel like I’m absolutely flaming with fire. She’s unleashed something thrilling inside of me, and I’m so glad I don’t need to cage up the animal again.

“So, where do we go from here?” Melissa asks as she pulls back with a blissful look on her face. “What do we do? I know it’s more fun not to think about it and to go with the flow, but you do have a son.”

I move over to the cupboards to grab out plates. When I ordered this Chinese food, I hoped these would be the conditions in which we were eating it but now that it’s really happened I feel so awesome. We are actually going to give this thing a go, and I don’t want to get too carried away with the idea that we’ll make it work, but I think we will. I have this real gut sensation that me and Melissa can truly go the distance.

“I’ll tell Toby in the morning that you’re going to be around a lot more. Shall I say that you’re my girlfriend?”

“Maybe not at first,” Melissa replies. “But we shouldn’t wait too long to let him know.”

I know his face is going to light up the moment he learns, and I can’t wait for that moment, but I suppose for a while it’ll be better for it just to be me and Melissa. I might be confident, but we should test it for a bit.

“Alright, sounds good to me. So, can I call you my girlfriend? Even if it’s just between us for the minute?”

Melissa giggles and nods. “Sure, if you want to speed along the tracks too quickly then you do that, sounds good to me.” The blush in her cheeks suggests that actually, she really likes that idea. “I don’t mind.”

The idea of having her as a girlfriend really bolsters me up, it makes me feel positive about the future. For the first time since Liz left, I think I can have it all. Yes, there will be bumps in the road, I’m not naïve, and I still have other areas of my life that I need to work on such as my career, but my God this is as good a place as any. I feel like the luckiest son of a bitch alive. I have finally found a woman that I can trust and love. I can give myself over to Melissa completely which is something that I never thought would happen again.

I hand Melissa her food and sit back in my seat, my heart warming up as I soak in every inch of her appearance. This beautiful, sexy woman who’s my complete opposite but who has always been my best friend is now mine, all mine, and I am not going to do anything to screw it up. Never, ever.