Quill
I didn’t give Black’s driver a hard time when he greeted me at the end of my shift. I got in the car, leaned my head against the cool glass, and as the world passed by, I replayed the entire evening in my head.
Black flirted with me, he punched a guy, and not just any guy: Ronald Sterling. Black was a God among men, in my opinion, so I supposed seeing him knock Ronnie down shouldn’t have shocked me and had fear trickling through my veins like poison. I didn’t know why Black was doing any of this.
When his silver eyes met mine and asked me if I wanted Ronnie, every ounce of me wanted to shout, “No, I want you.” But I couldn’t, so I did the next best thing. I said I didn’t want Ronnie. Knowing that if Black ever turned his back on me, I’d be screwed. I didn’t feel brave a lot of the time, but something about Black’s presence made me feel on top of the world.
Before it had all gone to shit, when Black leaned against the bar and let me touch his golden hair, there was a twinkle of playful mischief in his beautiful eyes and, for a second, I pretended he was my boyfriend visiting me at work. But Ronnie had come in like a splash of cold water on my life. It was always something with me. I wasn’t destined for a happily ever after.
Black’s driver stayed until I was securely in the building before driving off. Inside my apartment was like being in a bubble of contentment. I knew Black could watch me at any time, but I also knew it wasn’t his style.
As I stripped the red leather from my body, I let myself wonder why I surrounded myself with dangerous people. If I had learned anything these last few months, it was how there were levels to the evil. I knew Black killed people. I was aware what his organization was all about.
Under the spray of my shower, I replayed that night in his office when he’d called me over a few months back.
“When I give people chances, I only ever give them one, Quill. Me letting you live is the only chance you’ll get.” Black sat back against his office chair, staring at me through silver slits.
“Wait a sec, I blew my one chance because I was taking out the trash and your guys were stupid enough to shoot a man in an alley where I work? Am I hearing you right?” I felt bold in front of this man… I also felt very horny.
“You got a mouth on you.”
“You got a while, I’ll show you exactly what this mouth can do.” Flirting, I could do, and if it kept me alive, I’d do anything.
“You’re not whoring yourself out to me. Besides, you’re less than half my age. I don’t rob the cradle.” Black chuckled around the rim of his whiskey glass.
“I’ve probably seen more than most people you know. God knows I’ve walked, built a home, and planted roots in Hell.” I needed to shut up.
The silence was unnerving. For a large man, Black moved with a muted grace. He stood, his height forcing me to look up, and slowly stalked over to me. I felt his footsteps like a pulse.
“What do you know about what I do?” When he was so close I could smell him, he leaned down, resting his hands on the arms of the chair I was shaking in.
“Um… I’m going to guess, okay?” He nodded. “Right, so, I’d like to say model, because you’re gorgeous. But by your scowl, I will say I’m wrong…. Let’s go with a really fucking nice guy who lets silly boys who do their jobs go free?”
Black hung his head and I couldn’t help but inhale. Damn it, his scent was doing things to me.
“Is everything a joke to you?” Black asked as his eyes met mine.
“It has to be.”
Black furrowed his brow and I felt my cheeks burn with his scrutiny. “Why?”
Lying was my go-to, even if I was only half good at it, but with Black this close, I couldn’t find my filter. “Because if I let reality in all the time, I won’t much want to live in this world. Would you?”
It was in that moment, I saw he really did understand. He lived in the same Hell I did. And when he spoke, I wasn’t sure if I was glad or terrified.
“I run an assassin organization. My security company masks that. You want to live, then you work for me.”
Work for him? “Yeah, I’m a lover, not a fighter.”
He stood and walked back to his desk. “I don’t want you to kill anyone, Quill. I need a delivery boy. Someone who won’t ask questions. Won’t look at what he’s carrying and just do what he’s told. Can I count on you to be that person?”
Can I count on you? I couldn’t remember the last time anyone asked me that.
“Yes.”
When the water began to chill, I shut it off and grabbed a towel. That night in Black’s office had changed my whole life. I felt important, needed. People in my life, sans Mel, made me feel like I was just existing. I wasn’t vital to the everyday of things. Often, they said exactly that. I wasn’t worth it. I was a waste. A whore. I was on this earth as a step stool for those greater. I had heard it all. Black was the first to actually see me, really see.
Flirting with him was who I was, but if I was being honest, I wanted that man more than I ever wanted anything. When Ronnie beat me up and I never showed for that package, knowing I had disappointed him was worse than any punch.
I was sure he was amused by me at the club, but in my heart, I knew he’d likely never be with me how I wanted to be with him.
After I dried off and brushed my teeth, I slid under my covers and stared at the ceiling. I wondered what Black would say in the morning. How much shit was I in now?
Sleep claimed me eventually, and I dreamed of what Black’s smile would look like when directed at me. What his laughter sounded like when I told a cheesy joke. I dreamed of lazy Sundays, manic Mondays, and a life time of no pain, just love.