Quill
I wanted to be livid with Black, first for snapping at me before with Ginger and now for him shoveling out the money for Her Majesty Lady… oh dammit, her name was too long. But as I stared at those amber eyes as Lana gently placed her in the litter box, I was just elated she was looking so much better.
“Hey there, little lady.” Gently, I petted her head and she immediately rubbed her tiny face against my palm. When she meowed, my heart melted.
“That your cat?” Ginger asked as he dried his now gunmetal gray hair with a towel.
“Yeah, found her under a soggy pizza box in the alley where I work. She looked worse than she does now. I just couldn’t leave her there.”
My answer was met with silence. When I lifted my head, Ginger was regarding me with an expression I couldn’t place.
“You don’t belong in this world,” he whispered to me, and a pang of hurt hit my gut.
“Excuse me?”
He shook his head like he was swishing away his thoughts. “I just mean, you live in a world where you’d rescue a cat dying under some pizza boxes and people like me and Black live in a world where the pizza boxes were there because we killed the delivery boy who was likely the cat’s owner.”
The pain began to burn, not a blaze of shame or guilt, but of rage. I stood, suddenly happy when Ginger stepped back. “Don’t talk like you know him or me. You know what he’s shown you, but not what he is.” I took another step and Ginger hit the wall. “And you know zero about me. You can dig and dig and dig and never hit pay dirt when it comes to me or anyone else. Don’t think you got anything figured out. What you do doesn’t define who you are, Ginger.”
I’d had enough. I scooped up Lady Whiskers and went to see about getting her fed.
Lana and Black were sitting on stools in the kitchen, conversing over coffee. I went toward the bag of dry and wet food and read over the directions Dr. Mason had written out for her. I was half comprehending because I was fighting with the anger that was consuming me over what Ginger had said.
“Careful opening those cans,” Lana said loudly, likely trying to grab my attention. Of course, I was on the cusp of losing it and turned on her.
“Why did you feel the need to tell me that, Lana? Do I look like a fragile butterfly untainted by the real world and unable to handle a cut from a small piece of metal?” I placed the kitten on the counter when I felt her start to shake. I didn’t want her to think I was angry with her. “I can handle it. I am careful, but that never matters. I get hurt anyway and just because I would have paid my last penny to save Lady doesn’t mean I’m foolish, naive, or that I don’t belong in your world.”
I didn’t know where it was all coming from, but it was like all the gas built up and the cork popped free, spilling it all everywhere.
“Okay…” Lana furrowed her brow, confusion apparent. When I dared a glance at Black, it wasn’t anger I was met with, it was understanding. I hadn’t expected that.
“What happened?” he asked, his approach was careful but precise. He stood in front of me. I didn’t know I was clutching a can and the opener in my fists until Black tried prying them free.
“Nothing happened. I’m just… I don’t know. I feel.” I didn’t know.
Ginger walked into the kitchen, took in the scene, and sighed.
“Quill, I didn’t mean to insult you, and you weren’t wrong what you said in there. I just… I don’t know you or Black and you don’t know me. I’ve never seen someone show kindness like you did in there. For a minute, my thoughts ran outta my mouth. Sorry.”
Black watched Ginger, and that softness he offered me was not what he offered Ginger. He was an employee and Black liked me. It was safe to say that he showed me in the small things he was doing. But Ginger really was sorry. I could tell genuine well. Black was about to round on Ginger, so I placed a hand on his bicep to stop him.
“It’s fine, Ginger. Let’s not think about it. You have to get in the right headspace to go be me. So, it’s all good.” I nodded at Black when he gave me a questioning expression. “He better get going then.”
I could tell the conversation wasn’t over between Black and me.
Black kissed me softly and said he’d be back soon. I watched him go, hoping this plan worked and he stayed safe.
The plan was for Black to be in the car taking Ginger to my place. We thought it would be more believable if Black walked him to the door and said goodnight to him. Ginger had a camera on his person and of course, my apartment had video as well. Lana and I sat side by side at the dining room table, watching the four monitors showing the one in the limo, my apartment, outside my apartment, and Ginger’s self-camera.
Lana and I watched the monitors. Ginger and Black talked a little in the car, but not much. There was a chasm between them, which I was happy to see. After they had left, a part of me wondered if Ginger was trying to push me away to have Black for himself. I thought he and Jones had a thing going on, which was why Jones and Lee were… oh.
“Lana, do you think Ginger is trustworthy?”
She watched the screens as she answered. “I think if Black didn’t trust him, he wouldn’t be doing this job right now.”
“It’s just… I thought Jones and Lee were a thing, but from what I was gathering, Lee was angry because Jones and Ginger were having a thing. So if Ginger was morally inclined to get between those two, wouldn’t that mean he’s untrustworthy?”
She took her eyes off the monitors and her gaze was stoic with a slight curve to her lips.
“Black cares for you, more than I’ve seen him care for anyone in a long time. Even if Ginger tried, he’d fail.” She reached out and took my hand in her warm one. “As for Jones and Lee and that whole thing, those two have a complicated history we only know a fraction of. Don’t compare them to you and Black.”
It wasn’t the right time to talk about it, so I nodded and went back to watching the monitors.
Black put on a believable show. The limo camera showed him put his hand on Ginger’s lower back while whispering something in his ear, causing Ginger to chuckle. He was passable as me, but the view from the limo told me my ass was way better.
“Okay, we’re at the door,” Ginger said. “What now?”
“Play along.”
Black leaned in and I watched, heart aching as he pressed his lips to Ginger’s. The screen was muffled since the camera was on Ginger. But I heard the smacking sound.
“It means nothing, Quill,” Black whispered into the microphone the moment he parted from Ginger.
Lana laughed. “He knows you.”
As soon as Ginger was inside the apartment complex, Black walked back to the limo and drove off. Now we waited. Black was talking to his team as he headed back here and Lana and I couldn’t take our eyes off Ginger as he slipped into the apartment and said the words that would stop the system from shooting darts at his face.
He walked around checking closets, windows, all things one should check if they wondered if someone was hiding in their place. I admitted to Lana that this was putting me to sleep and she told me to go figure out dinner since it was going to be a long night and we would need food.
I was just finishing up some spaghetti and meatballs, nothing fancy, when Black returned. I could hear his footsteps on the hardwood floor, they got louder the closer he came to the kitchen.
“Smells amazing,” he said, and I’d just turned when his hulking body devoured me in an embrace and a searing kiss. His moan rumbled through me and I dropped the ladle into the sauce, splattering us in marinara.
Black’s tongue lapped up the spatters on my cheek. His beard brushed against my flushed skin and he whispered, “Tastes good too.”
“I sure hope you have a fire extinguisher in this place, because you’re setting the house on fire with your make out session.” Lana leaned against the doorframe.
“I thought you were watching the monitors?” Black spoke to her, but he made no move to separate.
“Leo is watching.”
“It’s a good thing I made a lot of food,” I said. Black leaned down until his forehead pressed against mine and his gray eyes met my green ones.
“What are you doing to me, Quill?”
Words swam in my head of what I wanted to say, but instead, I said, “Nothing you aren’t wanting me to, Black.”