Black
The entire time I was with Ginger, I hated being away from Quill. It hadn’t been since Sunshine that I’d felt this way and even with her, it wasn’t as strong. When I leaned into Ginger and kissed him, it was like I could feel the shot to Quill’s gut.
The driver couldn’t get me back to my house fast enough and as soon as the car was parked, I had to see Quill, feel and taste him.
I had asked Riordan once why he was leaving the only life he knew for another person. He told me he couldn’t explain it. He said something takes over your heart and mind and suddenly, you don’t know how to live without them. When he was with Teddy, breathing was easier, everything was better, and for the first time, he wanted to be a better person. I was starting to understand that now.
We all ate in front of the monitors. Ginger sat on the couch and watched TV until he passed out. Steve and Jaclyn were currently watching from a van two blocks away from Quill’s place in case someone tried to make a move. There would be shifts until we got our hands on someone.
That night in bed, as Quill laid across my chest covered in sweat and come, he asked me when he could return to work and I instinctively tightened my arms around him.
“Not until this is finished.”
He lifted his widened eyes to mine. “We’re dealing with the Sterlings here. And my brother. This could take a while. I can’t not work. I need the money.”
I wanted to tell him he didn’t. That I’d make sure he was financially okay. But Quill wasn’t the type of person to trust a man who wanted to take care of him. His life had proved nothing came without a price, and the price generally hurt.
“You have that money you were going to pay to get your cat back, now you don’t have to.” It was a good solution even if Quill didn’t like it and by the expression I was getting, he didn’t.
“I’m giving that money to you. You paid for Lady Whiskers and you shouldn’t have.”
God dammit, there went my after-sex glow. “Quill, stop. I’m not taking that money from you. I don’t need it and you do.”
“So, we’re going to have an argument?” he asked as he sat up. “Because I don’t want to be naked when we do in case you make me so mad I have to storm out of the room. I doubt whoever is sitting watching the monitors would appreciate seeing me like that.”
“I don’t want to fight with you,” I said, pushing myself up to lean against the headboard. “You’re in a rush to get away from here and if you go now, it could be…” I didn’t get to finish my sentence, we were interrupted by my bedroom door flying open and Nathan, my guy who was on shift watching the monitors, ran in.
“Sir, sorry to interrupt. We have a situation. Team X is on it, but it looks like someone was skulking around the complex, then climbed into an apartment window next to Quill’s. That’s when the team was dispatched.”
Quill was wrapped in the bedsheet, but I was mostly exposed. I didn’t care. I wanted to get my hands on someone who could give me answers and hopefully help end this shit. So, I pulled the sheet off me and I would’ve laughed when Nathan turned, banging into the wall to avoid seeing me naked.
“I’ll be out in a minute. Tell whoever’s on point, I want that person alive. If anyone gets gun happy and kills him, they’ll be joining him.”
“Yes, sir.” Nathan left, leaving Quill staring at the door. I ran into the bathroom, washed up, and went to my closet.
“You’re going to wear a suit?” he asked as he made his way to the bathroom.
“Yes.” There was no time to explain to Quill the importance of my appearance. How intimidation was more than just actions.
As I was braiding my hair, Quill exited the bathroom fully dressed in a black t-shirt that said, “Feeling a bit stabby today.” And his typical tight jeans. His black bracelets were still in his apartment and knowing he had the scars on his arms, I tossed him his hoodie.
“Thanks.” He shot me a small smile. “So, you bringing the person here?”
“Fuck no. I don’t bring people I question to the place I live.”
He nodded and zipped his hoodie half way up his chest. “So, where we going?”
Shit. I had to stand my ground with him. This was how I lived my life, making the hard choices and dealing with the consequences.
“You’re not coming, Quill. You’re staying here.”
“That right there, that thing you’re doing?” He gestured with his finger, making the number eight. “Yeah, that’s not a thing I’m doing with you. I’m not one of your people.”
“In fact, you are. Or have you forgotten you work for me?” I narrowed my eyes and took a step toward him. “You will obey.”
“Then I quit. Now, let’s go.” He went to leave, so I grabbed his arm, not painfully, but enough to stop him.
“No one quits working for me. I choose when the arrangement is over and you go under my rules or in a body bag.” It was just the rules I had set, but they didn’t apply to Quill. His face told me he saw it as a threat.
“You’re crazy if you think you’re going to lord your rules over me. I like to think the second your cock went into my ass, the whole ‘do as I say, you’re my employee’ went out the window.” He shook his arm free. “Or do you fuck everyone who works for you, then when they decide to try and be even a little bit equal to you, you stomp your foot on their individuality?”
I was afraid this might happen and whether Quill wanted to admit it or not, our age gap and the choices I’d had to make in my life were exactly why he and I could never be a forever thing. The thought alone sent a piercing pain straight to my heart.
“You’re acting like a child, Quill. This is why we can’t work.” I had to stay strong, swallow down the hurt that was creeping up. “Until this is over, you’re to remain here. When it ends, so do we.” With no other words, or my inability to form them, I stormed out, slamming the door behind me.
“Quill doesn’t leave this house,” I ordered to Nathan. “Understand me?”
“Yes, sir. Your car is in the garage waiting for you.”
I knew Quill was livid, likely hurt by what I said, but my life wasn’t really just mine. So many people depended on me to make the hard calls. I longed for someone to bitch about my day to, to feel the tender side of a human and them to see my vulnerabilities and burdens and love me through it all. But I was mistaken to think I could ever have that or that Quill would understand.
He may never forgive me, but at least he’d be alive to hate me.