Quill
I had a million questions racing through my head as we drove to Black’s home. I wanted to ask each one, but the anger radiating from Black was enough to keep my inquisition at bay until we were settled.
“I want a team at my place. It may be safe, but until I know what exactly is happening, I’m taking no chances,” Black ordered to the driver, who nodded and continued driving.
I had no idea who Black was texting, but the speed in which his fingers danced over the screen was impressive.
“I bet you give autocorrect a run for its money.” I hadn’t meant to say anything out loud.
“What?” He never took his eyes away from his phone.
“Nothing, just, not that you’re fat, but you’re not small and your fingers type so fast, I assumed you made a million errors and autocorrect just, well, never mind.” Shutting up, I opted for the scenery out the window. A gentle touch on my leg surprised me. Black’s phone was on the side of his leg and he was giving me his full attention.
“I used to know this person who talked about ridiculous things out of nowhere when they were nervous. I spent so much of my life brushing it off until it was too late.” He stopped talking. I wasn’t sure if he was surprised he had shared that little morsel with me, but I sure as shit was. “Anyway, my point is, I know you’re scared and maybe I’m just realizing it now, but you do it a lot. You mask your emotions with humor or pointless conversation.”
There was no room for insult, I knew he was stating fact because that was who I was. It wasn’t intentional, I had just lived this way for so long, I accepted that side of me. But I wore it like a shield and wasn’t ready to lower it just yet.
“Two car bombs just went off where I work, a stranger pretending to be you ripped me from my safe place, and now I’m in a van headed to your home with nothing,” I huffed. “I think it’s safe to say I’m scared.”
He just nodded, never looking away until the driver asked if he wanted him to park in the garage or go around back. The car began driving up a mountain, or maybe a big hill. As I peered out the window, I could see the Hart estate many miles away at the top of a very large mountain.
“You live up here?”
“Sometimes. I have a penthouse in the city. I was going to originally take you there, but Team X thinks it’s too close to everything, so I’m taking you to my house. I don’t come here often, only when I want to get away.” He slipped his phone into his pocket and I was about to say more when we reached the top and the most gorgeous place I’d ever seen came into view.
It was a large, modern-day mansion. Windows surrounded the place, but I couldn’t see through the glass. It was dark, so I couldn’t tell if the outside was gray, black, or wood, but there was an eclectic elegance that was evident. The garage door opened and when we drove through the doors, I assumed we’d stop, but the driver kept driving down a slope and suddenly, I felt like we were going down to the Batcave or something.
Black chuckled and I turned toward him. “What?”
“You. You’re surprised, aren’t you?”
“It’s just… Are you Batman?”
Black’s laughter practically shook the car. Seeing him smile or laugh wasn’t common and it lasted until the driver stopped the car.
“Come on,” Black chuckled as he exited. The garage was insane. There were two lines of cars, motorcycles, and what looked like covered jet skis. I knew Black had a lot of money, but seeing it took my breath away.
Unworthy was a weird feeling. I stood beside his car as he and his driver walked away, and stared at my reflection in the chrome pillar. Grayish hair, white eyes, and matching alabaster, tight-fitting clothes. My bracelets glimmered in the lighting. Clean. But I felt dirty, like I didn’t belong here. Dylan spent years telling me there was no place in the world for me. That my worth was to make his life easier. I believed it sometimes, but mostly realized he said it to be cruel. At this moment, I felt he was right.
“What’s wrong?” I hadn’t heard Black walk back to me so I jumped, and to my embarrassment, squeaked.
“Sorry. I’m coming.” I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants and shuffled forward.
A small elevator opened and the two of us stepped in. The driver waved us off as he went a different direction and, in the confines of the elevator, I had nothing to say. The shaking I’d felt as we got into the van had subsided, but was replaced with inadequacy.
We rode in silence; Black’s head rested against the mirrored wall and I spent the time appreciating the beauty of the man.
When the elevator opened, it was like being thrust into a fictional world and I was Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz when she stepped out of her black and white world and into a world of color.
“Fuck me,” I whispered under my breath, apparently not softly enough.
“I will take that as a compliment.” Black brushed past me and headed down two steps that led to a huge living room. The walls were all windows and the view was worth a billion dollars, which it wouldn’t have surprised me if that was what he had paid for it.
“Can anyone see inside?”
He shook his head. “I love a good view, but I could literally press my body against the glass and no one on the outside would ever know.”
That visual would be stuck in my head forever. Sweet god, this material wouldn’t cover an erection… think about soggy bread, that time you accidentally saw your dad naked… There we go, that finally did it.
After calming myself, I couldn’t help the gasp that broke free. “Is that?” I took a few steps and looked down. “A conversation couch? For real?” I loved these. They weren’t common anymore since they were a big seventies thing, yet Black made this look modern.
“Yes. My grandmother had one when I was little and I remember she would fill the area with stuffed animals and we’d jump from one side to the other. Often, we missed and that was where the stuffed animals came into play.” He smiled wistfully, and I got lost thinking what Black looked like as a little kid. No question, he was adorable.
“I’d totally take the table out and fill it with balls, then jump in them,” I laughed, and Black’s smile drooped.
“I had a friend who sometimes hung out at my grandmother’s, she often said she wanted to do that too.” He stared at the black, leather conversation couch, clearly lost in a memory.
I hopped down deep into the couches and patted the space beside me. “Is this the same person that I remind you of?”
I had no idea Black’s coloring could turn so gray. “I don’t really want to talk about it. I need to check in with the teams and…”
“No. You keep talking about it here and there and that tells me you do want to tell me, and your teams will contact you if there’s something to report. Stop trying to get out of it and tell me who I remind you of.”
I wanted him to want to tell me more, so I stayed silent as his eyes scanned the amazing view, then his phone. When he took the step down to the couch, I breathed in relief. I didn’t know how or why Black seemed to shift, but he wasn’t pushing me away anymore and I couldn’t help wondering if it was because his past was colliding with the present and I was smack in the middle of it.
“We, I, may need a drink to get through this.” He pointed to the bar behind me. It was gold and crystal and where it should’ve been gaudy, it was elegant.
“What’s your poison?” I leaped up, shuffled to the bar, and grabbed a tumbler.
“Grab two glasses and the bottle of Jack.”
Ahh… One of those stories. I collected everything, went back to sit beside him, and waited until he poured us both some liquid courage. It didn’t take Black long to start talking.
“Her name was Sunshine and I fell in love with her the day she stole my pink crayon in Mrs. Cary’s class. We were five and I knew in that second, I’d give her all the crayons she ever wanted if she always smiled at me like she did that day. And I did. I gave her everything, everything in my power. But my power wasn’t enough.”
It was like lead had dropped in the pit of my stomach. This story was going to change who Black and I were to each other. I was going to learn why Black was who he was and why he did what he did. I felt it deep in my bones like an anguished ache begging to be freed.