CHAPTER 7

 

After a few weeks, they had settled into a sort of routine. Lucas hadn’t been kidding when he had said he would need to work a lot, but Joel had never expected him to be gone quite as much. Most mornings Lucas was gone when he woke up and he had to eat breakfast alone. In the beginning, he asked Lucas to wake him up, but after they had tried that a few times only to have Lucas rushing around getting ready and not having a moment to spare to chat to Joel, they tacitly decided to not do it anymore. As Lucas more often than not was working late into the evening, they didn’t get to see each other as much as before. Sometimes it seemed like days passed between them having actual conversations. When he did have the time, Lucas was often tired and mostly wanted to hang out at home and watch TV. Lucas apologized to him repeatedly about being such a boring boyfriend, but Joel told him he understood about his need to relax. Besides, there were worse ways to spend evenings than curling up with Lucas and just enjoying the closeness.

Still, it was taking a toll on their relationship. Even during the weekends, Lucas would disappear into his study and work for a few hours. When Joel asked him what he was doing, he only said “Research” and shrugged, as if that was all the explanation needed. If he tried to ask more, Lucas changed the subject claiming he didn’t want to talk about work when he finally had time to be with Joel.

One Sunday, Erik and Sondra had invited them over for Sunday dinner. In reality, Joel wished they could have stayed home and just spend the afternoon together. God knew they needed it with the hours Lucas kept at the moment. Since he realized how important family was to Lucas, he knew any attempt to try and keep him to himself was doomed to fail. So he decided to go along with it and hope no one noticed his perhaps slightly lackluster participation.

“I can’t wait to see the girls.” Lucas was so excited to get an afternoon off, he was beaming. “It feels like we haven’t seen them in ages.”

Joel thought he should maybe point out they had been over to family dinner just two weeks ago, but seeing Lucas’ excitement made him stay silent. His smile was so good to see after too many days of hard work.

Pulling up outside the Berg residence, Joel thought to himself once more it was a nice house. Just the kind of house he would want if he ever had kids. Not that it was a likely occurrence. As they walked up the path leading to the door, it opened and Lily and Zoe came bounding down the front steps.

“Uncle Lucas! Uncle Joel!”

Hearing their excited voices made Joel admit that perhaps he had needed this too. The love and adoration pouring over Lucas made his man so very happy which in turn made him happy. The fact that the girls seemed to accept him too so readily made him go all fuzzy inside. Especially when the girls more or less attack hugged him after first giving Lucas his hugs. Those tiny but surprisingly strong arms around his neck made him feel like he belonged. He just hoped that feeling was true and not just imaginary. Lately, he had been wondering if they were going to be alright. It was just so hard to keep things together when they never had a moment to themselves. Lucas was always working or distracted by the damn case.

While still holding him by his neck, Lily looked at him from under her curly bangs.

“Dad said you didn’t want to come to see us.” The hurt in her voice was heartbreaking and Joel was stumped for a moment, not knowing how to respond. Surely, they hadn’t said that? Luckily, Lucas heard the girl’s statement and could answer her.

“No, Lily. That’s not true. We have simply been busy. Well, I have been very busy and Joel doesn’t know you guys so well to come out here alone. Maybe soon he will.”

Lucas and Joel exchanged a look. Zoe chose that moment to start pulling Lucas towards the house, claiming he had to see something she had made in school the other day. Lucas shrugged at him as if apologizing and then let himself be abducted.

Joel was left outside with Lily, who was still eyeing him suspiciously. He sat down on the stairs and the girl joined him.

“You know, Lily, Lucas is right. I have been a bit shy to come here. Also, I didn’t know you missed me. I thought it was your uncle you missed.”

“But uncle Joel, you are my uncle too! I’ve said so many times.” Lily shook her head indignantly. “It’s not right for you not to want to see us.”

Joel thought for a few moments.

“Then I will try and come by more. Ok? If that’s ok with your parents.”

“Oh, they wouldn’t mind. They like you. A lot.” Nodding vigorously, she went on. “Dad said he hopes you manage to bolt down his brother. I really hope you don’t do that to uncle Lucas because I think it’ll hurt him.”

From inside, they heard Sondra calling everyone to the table and Lily jumped to her feet, running towards the food. Joel got up a little slower. Why would Erik think he’d need to use a bolt to secure Lucas? Then he remembered Lucas telling him he had never introduced a boyfriend at home or to his brother. He should be honored but at the same time, the thought scared him. Who was he to hold the interest of someone like Lucas? Who had no problems getting whoever he wanted?

He closed his eyes for a second and reminded himself he wasn’t at home. No time for morose thoughts like that. Doing his best to smile, he went inside.

Dinner went well and simply sitting in the midst of all that banter and good-humored joking of the Berg family made him feel more relaxed than he had in a long time. Things just felt so right and he wanted to believe the slight rough patch they were going through was just that. A patch brought on by too much work and not enough play. But could he really be enough for Lucas? Images of Lucas and Pierce came to mind. They fit so well together, even if Lucas had said his mother never liked them dating. He wondered briefly what she thought of him. Deciding he was getting way to introspective, he made a conscious effort to not think of such things and instead enjoy himself. Lord knew he needed it.

During the drive home, his mind kept going back to thinking of the girls and how they had clung to him and Lucas during the visit. Seeing Lucas running around playing with them and imitating silly animals had made him laugh, but the tables quickly were turned when Zoe insisted he was to be her horse.

“Zoe, Joel might not appreciate you climbing on him like that…” Sondra tried to dissuade her daughter, but she would not be swayed.

“Nonsense!” With a determined flick of her head, Zoe let them know she had made up her mind. “Uncle Joel is the perfect horse. He’s so big and strong. Perfect to sit on.” Tapping his leg, she got Joel to squat down so she could climb on. He held out his arms to give her somewhere to put her feet. When she could put her hands on his shoulders, she kicked him gently in the sides to get him to move. Joel obliged, leaning forward a little to make it easier for her to stay on her horse. He jogged around the living room and her laughter made him really get into it, even neighing a few times. 

”Joel sure is good for a ride...” Lucas giggled as he watched Joel run passed them.

“Lucas!” His parents, Erik and Sondra were all horrified, but couldn’t help laughing at his naughtiness.

“That’s what I said, uncle Lucas. He’s a very good ride!” Zoe was beaming from her position high up on Joel’s back.

They all choked on their laughter and an embarrassing silence enveloped them. Finally, Lucas had started laughing and broke the tension.

“Relax, she doesn’t get it.” He waved his hand dismissing them.

“What doesn’t Zoe get, uncle Lucas?” Somehow, they had completely forgotten about Lily, all ears as usual. “How do you know he’s good for a ride?”

At that point, even Lucas blushed and Sondra quickly brought out sweets to distract the girls from further inquiry. Luckily, the evasive maneuver worked and the too close for comfort questions were forgotten.

In the car, Joel chuckled when he thought about the difficulty in dealing with curious kids. Seemed he wasn’t the only one who got stumped on occasion by those clever girls. He looked over at Lucas as he was driving. His beautiful man so playful with his nieces.

“Do you ever think about kids?” The words were out before he could stop them.

“What do you mean?” Lucas gave him a quick sideways look. “You want kids?”

“No. I mean yes. I mean…” Focusing on his hands, Joel tried again. “I don’t know. I never thought it would be possible, but lately, you see guys starting families… Do you want kids?”

“No.” For some reason, the answer made Joel sad. But he didn’t want kids either, did he?

“I don’t want any now anyway. You know, for a long time I didn’t think I would ever want any, but now getting to hang out with Lily and Zoe… I sometimes feel like it would be pretty nice. In a few years perhaps.” Lucas glanced over at him and he was struck by the immense tenderness he saw in Lucas’ eyes. Reaching over and grabbing his hand, Lucas lifted it to his lips and kissed it. “If I do ever have kids, I want to have them with you.”

Joel felt a rush of happiness go through him. Silly really, since it was just talk. It made him feel good to know Lucas was planning their lives together, especially now that things had been a bit shaky.   

The visit to Lucas’ brother had turned out to be an enjoyable break from his usual routine. Most of the time, he was left alone during the day. Not wanting to seem needy and bother Lucas about things to do or trying to meet up with him, Joel had decided to spend his days on his own exploring the city. Walking or jogging around proved the perfect way to get a feel for the different parts of Manhattan. Lucas had told him to be careful of a few areas but had said that generally, it was safe pretty much everywhere during the day. So he chose a different part every day, got on the subway and started walking. He ignored that having a map out and his guidebook close at hand made him look like a complete tourist. Since the weather was still nice, he enjoyed the various parks and often opted to have lunch outside. There were lots of shops of course and while he wasn’t overly interested in clothes, he was impressed by the much wider variety compared to back home. Of course, not surprising since Kiruna had about 20 000 inhabitants, while there were 8 million or more living in New York. Something Pierce had pointed out so clearly.

He found he quite liked the art museums, something he had never actually thought much about before. The favorite was the MoMa, as he learned everyone called the Museum of Modern Art. Getting guided tours made him learn more about art than he ever thought he would. He was no connoisseur by any means, but some art began to actually make more sense to him. A couple of days were spent at the Museum of Natural History, which brought out the kid in him seeing all the dinosaurs and going to the planetarium. More than once, he found he wanted to tell Lucas about something he saw or heard and he felt slightly disappointed when he couldn’t simply turn to Lucas to talk to him. Texting him wasn’t the same thing and since Lucas didn’t always reply it was an even poorer substitute.

He made sure to be home in time to make dinner, cherishing those hours spent with Lucas even more now that they couldn’t see each other quite as much as they were used to. Figuring out what to cook was hard at first when he wasn’t used to the things available in the stores here. After a few afternoons filled with indecision, he simply decided to follow recipes on a certain website he liked the look of and make things up as he went along if he couldn’t find something. Googling words usually helped and he found it got gradually easier to improvise.

Tonight, he was making an old classic that seemed equally popular in the US as it was in Sweden; Spaghetti Bolognese. Standing at the stove, he took his time to get the sauce just the way he wanted it. The dish made him think of his mom teaching him how to make it and he remembered them cooking together, always giggling when they couldn’t keep from crying over the onions. Feeling a single tear slide down his face, he tried telling himself it was due to the onions. Then he shook his head, pushing the sadness away. Lucas had said he was coming home a little earlier today and added somewhat mysteriously that he had a surprise for him. The anticipation sent shivers through his body, as he tried to imagine what kind of surprise it could be.

A couple of nights ago, Lucas had tied him to the bed and fucked him with an intensity that made him moan loudly and bit the pillow, mostly from pleasure but also from that slight bite of pain which intensified the experience. He could still feel a little soreness, but he was nonetheless looking forward to tonight. When Lucas was in that very special mood, it always made things extra interesting. With all his working, they had been less active and Joel found he missed it much more than he expected. Maybe his body had got used to more frequent satisfaction. He could find himself daydreaming about the past summer when they had all the time in the world to get naked together and did so quite frequently. More often than not, those daydreams end with him spraying the walls of the shower which brought temporary release, but in the long run only seemed to make him even hornier.

Just then he heard the door open and Lucas’ voice as he called out to Joel.

“Are you here, babealicious?”

Joel frowned for a moment. Lucas had started calling him all kinds of cutesy nicknames and he wasn’t quite sure he liked it. Telling himself it was just an expression of them getting comfortable with each other didn’t help. He kept thinking about Pierce and how being in the same room with him had instantly changed Lucas, and not necessarily for the better. Maybe working side by side with the guy on a daily basis had side effects? It was difficult to say anything since Lucas probably did it to show affection and it could be petty to tell him to stop.

“Yeah, in the kitchen!” He put the unwelcome thoughts out of his mind and answered Lucas. “Making dinner.” Adding the last part was superfluous since the smell of food had spread all over the apartment.

After living there for a while, Joel thought their apartment was becoming more and more like home. On occasion, though, it felt like he was only visiting, even if Lucas was trying to convince him it was ok if he wanted to change anything and even was gently pushing him to make the place more his own. Getting to the point of redecorating would take a little longer, regardless of what Lucas said. It wasn’t a very big place, only two bedrooms, but it was more than enough for the two of them. From the living room, the open floor plan meant you could see straight into the kitchen. One bedroom doubled as a home office and a guest room, complete with an adjoining bathroom. Their bedroom also had a separate bathroom. With a decent size foyer, it was the perfect apartment for a couple without kids.

Walking into the kitchen, Lucas was scenting the air in an exaggerated fashion. He rubbed his hands together.

“Is that Bolognese I smell?”

“Yes, I couldn’t think of anything else…” Suddenly, his choice of food seemed a bit too childish.

“It’s perfect! Just as long as we don’t eat too much pasta…” Lucas waggled his eyebrows making Joel both chuckle and blush. Coming up behind him, Lucas put his arms around him and put his chin on his shoulder. “Aren’t you even a little curious…?”

“Sure… I mean…” As usual, Joel found himself clamming up when he had to talk about their bedroom activities. “I’m sure I’ll like it.”

Lucas laughed at that and then went about setting the table. He brought out a bottle of wine too. When he saw Joel looking, he shrugged.

“Just a glass with the food.” He almost looked guilty. “Won’t mess up our plans.”

“No, I didn’t mean that. It’s just you get up so early. Are you sure you should have wine?” Not wanting to sound like Lucas’ mother, Joel tried to say it casually. He couldn’t help thinking he came across a bit moralizing, but he didn’t want Lucas to regret his decision in the morning.

“I’m not that much of a lightweight!” Lucas laughed and kissed his cheek. “I can handle some wine and my big Viking…”

They sat down and ate. The Bolognese had turned out just as Joel wanted it and Lucas making appreciative noises made him feel all warm inside. Then he felt a bit silly for being so happy about feeding his man. A real housewife, he thought to himself, not entirely sure he liked the sentiment.

“Oh, sweetie, do you think you could go by the dry cleaners and pick up some of my stuff? We’re getting ready to do depositions soon and I need my suits. The stub’s on the table by the front door.” Lucas waved his hand in the direction of the door.

“Sure…” A housewife indeed. Not wanting to spoil his mood, Joel pushed the thought aside and focused on the beautiful man sitting across from him. He took a sip of his wine and let Lucas’ words, some story from work, just pour over him. He realized how much he missed just talking to him, having his company to himself. It was getting a bit lonely to roam the streets of New York alone.

When they had finished, Lucas cleared the table, put the dishes away and then he held out a hand to Joel.

“Come.”

The single word signaled so much. Feeling his heart pick up speed, he let Lucas lead him to the bedroom. Once there, Lucas began to undress him, slowly unwrapping him as if opening a long awaited present. Joel stood as still as he could, not because Lucas had told him too, but because it felt right to just let this happen. He could tell Lucas was in his playful but dominant mood. His body responded to the touch and the slight soreness made itself known again. Somehow, the small bite of pain only made him want it more. He briefly wondered how far they could take things between them. What more could they explore?

When he was finally naked in front of Lucas, he was already hard. After giving him a few appreciative strokes, Lucas leaned in and put his mouth next to his ear.

“Go shower.”

Joel nodded and did as he was told. No matter how much sex they had, this never got boring. The anticipation, not knowing what Lucas had in mind. All of it never failed to put him on edge.

When he came back to the bedroom, Lucas got into the shower. Joel lay down on the bed and waited. He tried to resist, but couldn’t stop his hand from drifting down his body and carefully giving himself a few tugs. Not too much, since he was already hot and bothered. He let his hand go lower and felt his hole. Applying a little pressure, but not penetrating, had him moaning low. Lucas had to hurry or he would be done before he came back. He couldn’t stop his fantasy, though, and different memories from their time together flashed through his mind. Could Lucas just hurry up?

When Lucas finally stepped out of the bathroom, Joel raised his head from the pillow and looked up at him. The sight before him had him immediately sit straight up and simply stare. Lucas was wearing a strange black, leather hood on his head and nothing else. The weirdness of his outfit had Joel bursting out laughing. Lucas stopped and put his hands on his hips.

Between fits of laughter, Joel managed to choke out the question he needed to be answered.

“What the hell is that? What are you wearing?!?”

“What…?” Lucas actually sounded a bit put off and Joel tried to pull himself together. It wasn’t easy.

“It’s a hood. I thought it could be sexy…” As Lucas spoke, he began to visibly deflate.

“It makes you look like Batman. And not in any good way…” Joel managed to get the words out as he shook his head. “I’m sorry, but that isn’t something you can wear. I will never stop laughing.”

Seeing Lucas’ shoulders droop even further, Joel hurriedly got off the bed and went up to him. He put his right hand on Lucas’ chest.

“I’m sorry for laughing, but it’s just too ridiculous. I can’t even see your eyes properly. Just take that thing off. Please.”

Lucas opened the hood using a zipper at the back and then stood there with the mask in hand, not moving. Taking it from him, Joel looked at it closer.

“Where did you get this thing anyway? What is it?” Joel turned the thing over in his hands, feeling the pleasant sensation of soft leather. 

“You know there is this wondrous new invention called the internet… “ Lucas finally started grinning, making the mood shift for the better once more.

“Shut up!” Joel smacked him lightly on his upper arm.

“It’s called a Masterhood. I thought it looked like fun…” Lucas sounded a bit like a young boy, trying to explain why he pulled some stupid stunt. His slightly dejected tone made Joel’s heartache. This wasn’t what he wanted for tonight. He thought of a way to get back on track, a track hopefully ending with Lucas’ hard cock in his ass.

“You know I like it when you experiment…” Joel lowered his eyes and felt a slight blush on his cheeks. “But this is too much. Or well, it’s not for me.”

“Well, maybe you’ll like the other thing I got.”

Hearing those words had Joel look up again and now he was paying attention. Lucas grabbed the hood from his hands and turned from him, walking over to a box standing by the closet door. He placed the hood in the box and pulled out what looked like a leather belt. Removing some plastic around it, he held it up. Joel saw it wasn’t a belt, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. There were two loops, connected by two long strips. There were buckles and it could obviously be adjusted.

Lucas approached him and held up the black leather straps to Joel’s chest. Looking at it up close, Joel still couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Would you like to try this on, then?”

“What is it?” Despite feeling completely naïve, he had to ask.

“It’s a harness. I thought it would look good on you.” Lucas caressed Joel across his chest.

Finding it suddenly hard to speak, Joel only nodded. Lucas opened a few of the straps and began fastening it to his body. All at once, the need to laugh had vanished and the air was charged with their growing need for each other. Every time Lucas’ fingers touched Joel’s skin, he shivered. Working out how to fit the harness took some time, which meant that by the time Lucas got it on him Joel was hard again. Hard and very focused on Lucas. Taking his hand, Lucas led him over to the mirror. Standing behind him, they both looked at the reflection of Joel. Somehow, the harness amplified the wideness of his chest, the bulk of his muscles. In an inexplicable way, it also enhanced his nakedness, making his cock stand out in both senses of the words. Lucas let his hands trace the sides of Joel’s torso, ending up following the leather straps across his chest, around his shoulders and over his back. He pressed his naked body against Joel, letting him feel his hardness between his ass cheeks. Lucas slid himself up and down slowly while playing with Joel’s nipples.

“You look so good in this. Just like I thought.” Lucas bit his ear and growled. “I’m going to fuck you so hard from behind tonight.”

Joel reflexively clenched his ass cheeks around the hard cock nestled between them, making Lucas chuckle.

“Yeah, you can’t wait, can you? Greedy boy… Don’t worry, I’ll give you what you need.”

With that, Lucas grabbed the harness and yanked him towards the bed. The unexpected move had Joel stumbling, but he didn’t fall over. Not until Lucas pushed him forwards onto the bed. Joel felt the delicious friction from the sheets on his cock and ground himself into the bed for more. Lucas noticed what he was doing and slapped him across the ass with his palm.

“Up on all fours.” To emphasize his point, Lucas grabbed the harness again and pulled, while holding him by the hip and using his legs to press Joel’s thighs apart and in position. Joel ended up on his hands and knees, with Lucas kneeling behind him still holding him in place.

“Yeah, this is how I want you. Just ready to take me. All of me.”

Joel felt Lucas pull his ass cheeks apart and the head of his cock circle his hole. For a moment, he thought Lucas wouldn’t use lube and unease shot through him. Unwillingly, he lurched forward, only to be yanked back in position once more by Lucas hold on the harness.

“No. You don’t move.”

Joel had to concentrate on staying still. Lucas kept teasing him with his cock and then started stretching him with his fingers, using lube much to Joel’s relief. They slid in easily since Joel was so turned on by now he practically craved to feel Lucas fill him with something. He wantonly pushed back against the intruding fingers at an increasing tempo while lowering his head between his arms, moaning.

“I’m going to fuck you now. You want my cock, don’t you, boy?” Lucas was in control as ever. How he managed that was something Joel had yet to figure out. His own brain always short-circuited in the heat of the moment, reducing him to basic need and lust.

“Yes… I want… Just do it.” Joel had trouble finding the words, but judging from Lucas’ swift removal of his fingers and the sensation of a hard cock at his hole, he figured the message got through.

With a decisive pull on the harness, Lucas impaled Joel with one swift move. The breach was sudden and unexpected, but not unwelcome. Still, Joel couldn’t contain the cry that left him. He drew a few quick breaths to cope with the pain. Lucas stayed still and waited for him to give an indication he could proceed. Both fighting his need to clamp down and enjoying the burn, Joel focused on relaxing. Moments later, he felt himself open up and Lucas could slide himself fully inside. Joel groaned at feeling so full. It was a feeling he didn’t think he’d ever get used to or tired of.

“Yeah… That’s it. Take all of me. Good boy…” With that, Lucas started moving and Joel discovered just how much deeper he could get by using the harness as leverage. Each thrust hit all the right spots, making him shudder and whimper at the sensations running through him.

“Harder, Lucas…” His moan was met by even deeper thrusts. It was all he could do to not collapse and give in to his need to stroke himself. Lucas’ grip on the leather around his chest holding him up told him not to. He wasn’t done with him yet. The fucking went on and on, driving Joel to the edges of his sanity.

“I have to come! I… Oh god, please! Just let me come!” The room was spinning and his arms were about to give out.

“No.” Lucas kept going never breaking rhythm. “You will come when I say you can.”

As if sensing he needed more support, Lucas took hold of the harness with both hands and practically held Joel up on all fours. Despite his size, Joel felt like he was helpless to do anything against Lucas. All that existed was Lucas’ cock in his ass and the pleasure it brought him. All he wanted was for that pleasure to spike and give him release. He was so close, so close...

The wave hit him without warning. He found himself screaming as he hung helplessly from the harness. He came so hard it hit him in the face as his head dipped down between his shoulders. Finally, his legs gave out and he crashed, taking Lucas down with him. He felt Lucas twitch and shudder above him. After that, all he could do was to curl up on his side and rest. Wrapped from behind by Lucas’ arms, he felt as if all was as it should be. He just hoped it really was.