CHAPTER 8

 

“Listen, I know I’ve been gone a lot lately, but it’s the final push before the trial starts. Just a few more weeks.”

Lucas’ voice sounded pleading, making Joel feel a little guilty for raising the subject of him being lonely. Again. And way too early in the morning. Why get up for once to have breakfast together and see Lucas off before his day if it would only make them both feel bad? Of course, he knew Lucas wanted to do the best job he could possibly do. He had an important role to play in the litigation and the outcome of the client’s case could very well depend on him doing a thorough job researching and preparing. There were legal points to investigate, witnesses to prepare, tactics to be chosen. Lucas wasn’t alone, but Pierce had to focus on the trial itself and not so much the circumstances surrounding the deal gone sour that had led up to it.

“It’s so crazy. Pierce seems close to losing it, Ander keeps checking up on us and the client is freaking out, thinking we won’t win. And perhaps we won’t and that would be a disaster.” Lucas rubbed his eyes, looking so very drained. “I’m so tired. I can hardly sleep because I just keep going over and over all the things I’ve done and all the things I should have done…” Sighing, Lucas slumped over his cup of coffee. “Maybe this was a terrible idea, to come back…”

“Lucas, don’t be so hard on yourself…” Joel scratched the back of his head, in part in frustration and in part trying to collect his thoughts and say the right thing so they didn’t end up arguing like the previous times they’d had this discussion. He did understand, but there was only so much shopping a guy could do to keep himself occupied. The sense of being alone was enhanced by the Christmas decorations that were being put up all over the city. They hadn’t got past Thanksgiving and the big celebration he was told to expect at the Berg seniors’ residence, but some stores apparently didn’t want to wait. Somehow, Joel had envisioned his first Christmas season in New York differently. Maybe something he should blame on his habit of watching romantic comedies. So far, there had been no long walks in Central Park with either colorful autumn leaves or giant snowflakes falling softly around them with the two of them laughing and holding hands while wearing scarves that were much too large. In fact, it had mostly rained the first weeks of November, adding to Joel’s misery.

“It’s just lonely. I miss you.” Joel almost whispered the last words.

Lucas rose from his chair and stepped up to him. He wrapped Joel in his arms, curling over so he could bury his face in the short hair on top of Joel’s head. Relaxing into the embrace, Joel let himself be held and took the chance to nuzzle Lucas’ chest. They remained like that, enjoying the feel of body against body for a few moments.

“Tell you what. We’ll go out tonight. A few of the guys are getting drinks downtown and we could join them. Could be fun. We haven’t had fun like that in ages.” Lucas’ suggestion made Joel perk up, but then he thought of the times he had been stood up, waiting at home for Lucas to show up in time for dinner. 

“But do you have time for that?” He couldn’t help worrying.

“I’ll make time. For you. For us.” With that, Lucas kissed him lightly and glanced at his phone. Seeing the time, he hurriedly got his shoes on, grabbed his things and was out the door, leaving Joel behind.

Joel sighed. He looked forward to getting out of the apartment for the night just to have some fun with Lucas, but he couldn’t deny that he had begun counting the days until the six months were up and they could go home. Home to where he felt he belonged. He missed Grandpa, his friends, Koda and his job.

Thinking about his day, Joel decided to hit the gym to burn off some of his energy. He would really have liked to play hockey, but that wasn’t going to happen. Not here. His homesickness was no excuse to let himself go, though. That would come back to bite him in the ass when he returned home and started with hockey again. Besides, he always felt better after a workout. Lucas had gotten him a membership to his gym, situated just around the corner. Open 24 hours, it was very convenient. Not that Lucas had had time to go for weeks. All work and hardly any play for him at the moment.

On his way over, he dropped off some of Lucas’ dry cleaning and also managed to get a pair of his shoes off to the shoe repair shop. He checked his list to see if there was anything else Lucas had asked him to do, but he decided he would go out looking for a new carpet for the living room later in the week.

Stepping out from the locker room at the gym, Joel headed for the cardio area, wanting to work up a sweat running on the treadmill. He got out his phone with his music, put his ears buds in and got going. The feeling of his muscles working soon had him shifting focus and the monotonous rhythm helped him reach that calm place in his head where he didn’t have to think so much. He could just be.

After running for about 30 minutes, he moved on to weights. Years of working out to get an edge on the ice had given him a subconscious workout routine he could follow in his sleep. Today was leg day. He smiled to himself thinking about all those internet memes about not skipping leg day. Being on the ice ensured that he never wanted to skip it. Almost all his power came from his thighs and butt. Now, he had realized just how much Lucas liked them bulging and strong. Lucas’ readily apparent desire was a perfect incentive to keep them that way, even if he wasn’t playing hockey at the moment.

He went over to the barbell and put on weights to do different variations of squats and lunges. Pretty soon, his legs and ass were burning and as usual, he enjoyed the feeling in a weird way. Maybe his newly discovered interest in pain shouldn’t have come as a surprise after all. As he was taking a break, he noticed another guy doing bench presses just across the room. From the look of it, he had overestimated his own strength and was struggling. Joel took a few strides over to the guy, just in time to catch the barbell he was holding before he dropped it. If not for him, it would have crashed down on the guy’s chest. The guy looked up at him in surprise and when Joel had returned the barbell to the stand, he sat up.

“Gee, thanks! I guess I took on too much there…” The guy seemed embarrassed but smiled nonetheless. “Good thing you were here to save me!” He laughed.

“Well, you should be careful. You could hurt yourself seriously.” Joel felt himself slip into his cop mode, being a safe and secure role model to cling to. That too felt good. No one had needed him like that in so long. “Working out alone can be dangerous. You don’t have a spotter?”

“Usually yes, but he had to work today. I thought I would be OK. He’s going to have a field day when I tell him I almost got crushed.” The guy looked at him and suddenly the air changed between them. “And that I was saved by Thor…”

Joel stared at him, trying to figure out what he meant. The guy’s smile made it click in his head. He was hitting on him. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t very well blurt out he had a boyfriend. What if he read the situation all wrong and the guy was just friendly, like all Americans?

The man stood and held out his hand.

“Adam.” The tip of his tongue traced the inside of his lips, making any doubt as to his intention vanish. Joel swallowed, feeling flustered. What was the correct code of conduct when politely turning down someone at the gym? It didn’t help that the guy, Adam, was very attractive. A little shorter than him but nicely built like a swimmer. Nearly black hair and the bluest eyes Joel had ever seen. He realized he had hesitated far too long and took the man’s hand. As their hands met, he felt a slight tingle travel up his arm and down his spine. Adam’s smile deepened and Joel briefly basked in the feeling of being admired, being wanted. Pulling himself together he finally managed to speak.

“Joel.”

“You’re not American? I love your accent…” Adam tilted his head to the side in an exaggerated manner and giggled. If he’d had long hair, he would have flipped it. Joel felt the unfamiliar feelings of attraction abate and he could think once more.

“No, I’m Swedish. I’m here visiting my boyfriend.” The words came so easily to him now. What had he been thinking? That the guy was hot? Sure, but he wasn’t Lucas. Not by a long shot. Especially not with those mannerisms. Cute perhaps, but not really his thing. The word twink suddenly came to mind and Joel figured Adam was just that.

“Oh…” Adam bit his lower lip and looked at Joel from under his bangs. “And here I was thinking we could perhaps go for lunch…?” He traced his fingers down Joel’s arm, making Joel shift uneasily and take a step back. This situation was so new to him, having a guy hit on him so openly. In a confused way, he liked the attention, but it made him feel guilty at the same time. Even if he hadn’t done anything.

“Well, I have to get going…” Shaking his head, Joel picked up his things and got ready to leave. “Nice to meet you. Bye!” Heading towards to locker room, Joel noticed Adam was following him and he decided getting naked in the shower with the guy was not a good idea. He thought it best to simply grab his stuff and shower at home. He could feel Adam’s lingering looks traveling over his body, making him self-conscious. Giving Adam a nod on the way out, he more or less fled the locker room. Feeling stupid and immature, he walked home mulling over if he should tell Lucas what happened or not. Nothing had happened, but still. In the end, he decided not to since he didn’t know what to say. Should he address the unexpected feelings of attraction or not? Wouldn’t that mean they would have to have a whole other conversation about “them”?

Joel spent the afternoon reading and messaging online with friends back home. After calling Grandpa to check on him, he chatted for a while with Lars. He briefly thought about talking to Lars about what was going on and his experience at the gym, but Lars was so in love with his new girlfriend it was almost ridiculous. Every other sentence started with “Sophia said/did/wants…” It brought back more memories of when he had just met Lucas and his every waking moment was filled with thoughts of him. Joel didn’t want to ruin Lars’ good mood. Perhaps it was true that the first exciting stage of a relationship, any relationship, couldn’t go on forever and it was natural for things to become more everyday eventually. Still, he missed that bubbly feeling. In the back of his head, a nagging thought was trying to surface but he pushed it back. Not today. Not tonight. Tonight, they would have fun. Together.

Walking up to the bar, Joel wondered if it was such a good idea after all. Lucas had arrived home in a rush and it was clear he would have much preferred to keep working. When Joel suggested they cancel, however, he had almost angrily stated that they were going out and that was the end of it. So Joel decided he might as well have fun and not dwell on it anymore. The cab ride over had been weirdly tense and Joel just knew Lucas had something work-related on his mind-

They went in, and through the crowd, Lucas spotted his friends. They were meeting some guys he went to college with, all now working at different law firms in the city. On seeing them, Lucas broke out in a big grin. Joel felt unexpectedly hurt by the fact that seeing him hadn’t managed to break Lucas out of his bad mood, but these guys did it in no time.

“Hey, Lucky Luke!” The shouted greeting could be heard clearly over the music. Then there was high-fiving and bro-hugging going on, combined with a lot of whooping and hollering. Joel only watched from the sidelines as Lucas made his rounds greeting everyone. Finally, he seemed to notice Joel wasn’t there and he looked around.

“Babe, don’t be shy! Come, meet the guys!” Lucas reached for him and Joel took his hand, stepping closer. “So guys… This is Joel. Joel, this is… everyone!” Lucas started laughing at his own joke. The guys one by one made their own introductions. Five names were fired off in rapid succession with Lucas doing his best to give Joel a short summary of how they knew each other, but at the end of introduction, Joel was still none the wiser as to who was who. He figured it didn’t really matter right now, as he had the entire evening to get to know them.

They all ended up at the bar, leaning against the counter to order drinks. Joel really wanted a beer, but Lucas insisted they’d have a cocktail since this place was famous for them. Staring at the tall glass in his hand filled with a bright red liquid, Joel took a sip. It wasn’t bad, not really. Just not a beer.

“So, you’re finally back? You were gone like forever! What were you doing over there in Switzerland?” The guy, who Joel thought had introduced himself as Kevin, seemed to have a head start on the drinking and was already a little louder than the rest.

“Sweden. I was in Sweden.” Lucas corrected him. “I was looking into my roots, you could say.” Then he told them about his nanna Berg, who had left them a cabin way up north. Joel noted that he didn’t mention the real reason for his trip to the edge of the world, nor the incident just before Christmas when they had been attacked by that hitman trying to kill them. There had been some non-disclosure clauses in the settlement agreement from Lucas’ law firm, so perhaps that was the reason. The story of the near crash with a moose brought down a lot of laughter and when it ended in Lucas telling them who came to his rescue, all eyes turned on Joel.

“So you saved him, huh? Guess Lucky Luke sure got lucky then!” They all laughed hard at that, all but Joel who didn’t get the joke. Another guy took pity on him and tried to explain.

“Oh, you know Luke is kind of lucky with guys. I mean look at him! Who could resist a guy like that? Problem is, unlike the cartoon Lucky Luke, this one doesn’t draw quicker than his shadow, he leaves quicker!” This resulted in another round of raucous laughter. Joel tried to keep up, but when he did figure out what the guy meant he was in no mood to laugh. Of course, he knew Lucas wasn’t exactly shy when it came to other guys and he had told him about his life before Joel when he was playing the field as he put it. However, knowing it and having it thrown in his face by virtual strangers were two different things. Lucas squeezed his hand, looking up at him with an uncertain smile on his face.

They all started talking with each other, most of them wanting to know more about Lucas’ current case. As the evening progressed, they moved on to memories from college, mostly parties they had attended. Joel tried to follow the conversation, but the loud music and the rapid way they all spoke at once made it practically impossible. He sat back and just let his mind wander.

“So you’re a cop?” Kevin was suddenly addressing him. “You must have studied some law then?”

“Yes, I mean I’m a cop. And we did study law in high school.” Seeing the confused look on Kevin’s face, Joel thought about what he had said. He realized he should have used 'college', instead of the word-for-word translation of the Swedish term used. Or what was it they called those movies about police officers in training? Academy? That was perhaps it. “I mean in the police academy. Or school…”

Kevin nodded slowly, making Joel feel a bit stupid.

“So what’s up with all this police brutality? You guys think just because you have a gun, you have the right to do anything you want?” Though Kevin smiled at him, Joel got the feeling of being face to face with a shark. He stared at Kevin, not sure what to say.

“We don’t really have that much of a problem in Sweden…” He fell silent, uncertain about how to continue.

“I bet you don’t. Not much action over there since everything’s frozen…” Kevin chuckled, but Joel didn’t see the humor in his statement. “What’s your position on the death penalty then?”

Death penalty? Joel wondered if he had heard correctly and remained silent while he thought of what to say.

“Well, I guess you mostly coddle your criminals. Give them a nice cushy life behind bars, but not too long. Right? What message is that sending to victims?” Kevin continued while looking at him expectantly. Realizing he was indeed wanting an answer, Joel started talking mid-thought.

“I think it’s not right. I mean it’s wrong, but at the same time, you have to think about the victims. I mean…” Joel tried to find the words for what he wanted to say, but all that came out was incoherent babbling. After two drinks and shouting over music, he couldn’t express in English how his main objection was that since no system dependent on human judgment is without fail, the death penalty in his opinion couldn’t be used as a punishment because of its inherent finality.

“Didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I know you don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to make it as a cop…” Kevin kept smiling, but at the same time turned to say something to another guy in the group, effectively ending their attempt at conversation. Joel felt like an idiot, staring into the back of Kevin’s suit. He took another sip of his drink and located Lucas. He briefly considered moving over to him but decided against it. No need to show everyone how needy and insecure he felt right now. Least of all Lucas. He looked like he was having a great time with his friends and Joel didn’t want to ruin his mood. Instead, he went back to people-watching.

“You sure found a big, silent one over there… Must be nice to keep it simple for a while? Not so much talk, more pounding action?”

The words drifted over and he realized someone was talking about him. He couldn’t identify the speaker at first, but he felt a slight but definite sting. He saw Lucas furrowing his brow slightly. The guy was Kevin. Looking over at Joel, Lucas gave him a brief smile and then leaned in, speaking into Kevin’s ear. While talking, Lucas shook his head and looked almost pissed off. Kevin held up his hands and shook his head as if apologizing. After giving him a dirty look, Lucas decisively moved over to Joel and wrapped his arm around his waist. Joel enjoyed their closeness and felt somewhat vindicated.

As the evening went on, Joel made attempts at conversation only to find it wasn’t so easy. He didn’t get their jokes, which earned him a few stares and uncertain smiles when he tried to add something. Lucas tried to include him but then the group of friends all too easily lost themselves to their own jargon and in-jokes again, resulting in Joel feeling a bit left out.  

Going home felt like somewhat of a relief, even if Lucas was kind of drunk by the time they got in the cab. He started licking Joel’s ear and neck, making him annoyed at first but then gradually more turned on.

“Did you have fun tonight?” Lucas whispered the words against his ear, while he snaked a hand up to Joel’s crotch, squeezing him through his pants.

“Sure…” Deciding he didn’t want to ruin the mood, Joel chose to not go into detail and just say what he thought Lucas wanted to hear. Besides, the evening still could turn out ok if Lucas’ actions in the backseat were anything to go on. They both needed a good fuck.

As he stumbled up the stairs to the apartment, Lucas told him his plans for the rest of the night, all of which made Joel wish they were already naked in bed together. Once inside, he rushed to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Coming back into the bedroom, he crawled into bed spooning up behind Lucas and kissed his right shoulder.

“Hey, you need the bathroom before we…” Joel paused his exploration. He raised himself up on his elbow and looked over at Lucas’ face. He was deeply asleep. Joel rolled over on his back, deflated in every sense of the word. He really could have used a good fuck. 

The next morning, Lucas was feeling his night before and Joel did his best to make his waking up easier. Getting him toast and coffee in bed, putting his clothes out while he was in the shower and getting his phone, wallet, and keys ready. A real housewife, he thought briefly again.

Standing at the door, Lucas turned and called for him. He left the kitchen to see what he wanted.

“I’m sorry for getting a bit drunk last night…” Lucas looked down at his own feet, obviously embarrassed.

“A bit…?” Joel couldn’t resist teasing him about it.  

“Ok, a lot. God, I’m such an idiot… I just haven’t seen the guys in ages and with this case taking up so much of my time, I guess I really wanted us to have a fun night out. Didn’t mean to fall asleep on you though…” He looked up and Joel had to smile at the contrite look on his face. “How about you swing by the office today at one and we’ll do lunch?”

Joel agreed and after a brief kiss, Lucas left.

At the appointed time, Joel entered the building where Lucas worked. After getting past security at the entrance, he ended up at the reception desk. Another pleasantly smiling woman told him to please wait and then called Lucas. A brief conversation later, the woman turned her attention back to him. With a hint of a smile on her face, she indicated he could go in.

“You know where his office is, right?”

Joel nodded and went into the inner sanctum of the office. After a few wrong turns, he found Lucas’ room and was just about to knock when he heard Pierce’s voice. He stopped and instead of making his presence known, he listened while immediately feeling guilty about it.

“I can’t believe you not only went out and got shit-faced last night, ruining any chance of us getting the questions for Friday’s deposition ready today as we planned, but you also made plans for lunch?” Pierce was apparently less than pleased with Lucas.

“I just wanted to make it up to him after last night. I wasn’t thinking…” Lucas sounded like a schoolboy in front of the headmaster.

“No shit!” After an exasperated sigh, Pierce went on in a softer tone. “This isn’t like you, Luke.”

“We need to eat, right? He can join us here in the office.”

“You never used to compromise your work for a night out with me…”

A jolt went through Joel when he heard Pierce’s words laced with just a hint of bitterness. What did Pierce mean? He knew they had a history together, from Lucas’ mom. But Lucas had never told him any details. In all fairness, he hadn’t really asked since he didn’t like to think about Lucas with someone else. Now, however, all those nights when Lucas came home late and just hit the shower or went straight to his office to make calls, mostly to Pierce, flashed through his mind. Was there something going on? Joel shook his head, deciding the idea was ridiculous. Lucas wouldn’t do that. His days as a player were over. He had said so himself. Still, Joel suddenly had to know more about the two of them. Now.

Just then the door opened fully and Pierce almost walked into him.

“Oh, Joel… Hi!” Pierce nodded at him. “I was just getting us some food.” Going around Joel, he walked swiftly towards the reception area. Joel entered Lucas’ room where Lucas was sitting behind his desk tapping away at his laptop. As if he sensed something, he looked up startled. When he saw Joel, he smiled.

“There you are! I was beginning to think you got lost in the corridors.” He got up and closed in on Joel, clearly aiming for a kiss. Joel turned up his face, causing him to miss. Before Lucas had a chance to say anything, Joel decided he had to know and the best thing was to simply come right out and ask him.

“When were you together with Pierce?”

Lucas blinked at him and he could almost see him thinking, considering his answer.

“That’s ancient history…” Lucas shrugged his shoulders as if he wanted Joel to let it go. 

Ever the lawyer, Joel thought. Never give more information than absolutely necessary.   

“When?!” For some reason, Joel needed to know or he wouldn’t be able to spend another minute in the same room as Pierce.

“We had a little fling last summer. Nothing serious.” Lucas made another attempt to get close enough for a kiss, but Joel pulled back. 

“Last summer? That’s practically just before we met. And you didn’t feel it necessary to tell me?” He could feel his anger mounting, but he tried to keep calm.

“Why would I tell you about that? It was a short thing, practically over before it started. Hardly more than a few hookups and never going to last. Stupid too, since we worked together.” Lucas shook his head and then looked up at Joel. “Besides, you heard Mom. She met Pierce in court and didn’t think he was right for me. She made that abundantly clear when she figured out we were involved. So it was doomed from the start. End of story.” Cradling Joel’s head with his hands, Lucas looked into his eyes. Joel could only read sincerity in them and relaxed into his touch. “Listen, I’m not interested in Pierce. I promise. I only want you. Joel, you know that…” Joel let himself be pulled down for a kiss, but just as their lips met Pierce came back into the room.

“Oh, boys! This is a place of business. Just not that kind of business!” He chuckled. “I ordered us salads. Summer’s just around the corner. No one wants you when you’re flabby!”

Joel looked at Lucas, his eyebrows slightly scrunched together.

“I thought we were having lunch.” He knew the answer but wanted to hear it from Lucas directly.

“Ah, you see… I forgot I have a very busy day today. Is it ok if we eat in the office? With Pierce?” Lucas did his puppy-dog eyes routine and Joel felt he couldn’t say no without giving Pierce the satisfaction of seeing them argue.

“Sure…”

“I’ll make it up to you later. I promise. No falling asleep this time…” Lucas once more pulled him down to get close enough for a kiss. The feeling of Lucas’ tongue against his own made Joel involuntarily sigh a bit louder than he intended.  

“Now, as I said, no funny business! This office’s had enough of that already…” Pierce tutted at them.

The look Lucas shot Pierce would have killed him if looks actually had that ability. Pierce only smiled wickedly and went over to a table to clear it.

“We can sit here.” He made space on the table, building a pile of papers and books on the floor to the side. He seemed to be putting them in some kind of order, but in the end, it was all in one rather precarious pile.

The woman from the reception showed up with drinks, napkins, and cutlery. After setting the table and letting them know the food was on its way, she left. As they sat down and started on the drinks, Pierce seemed to study Joel closer.

“So, how are you finding New York? I bet it’s exciting and quite the change from your hometown. From what Luke says, it sounds like it’s kind of rural…” His inflection made it clear rural wasn’t exactly praise. Still, Joel had to admit Kiruna wasn’t much of a city compared to New York. It just didn’t sit right with him to hear Pierce say it.

“It’s a change, of course. I’ve been walking around a lot trying to get a feel for it and there’s so much to see. Not like back home exactly.” Joel made an effort at making conversation so lunch would be a somewhat pleasant affair.

“Pierce, you really should see it sometime. Kiruna is so beautiful, especially in winter. All that snow… It’s like something out of a movie.” Lucas’ words had Joel smiling. It felt good to hear his man talk like that.

“It can be a bit much, with the cold and dark. And so few people. Mostly trees and moose.” Joel tried for a little joke, but only Lucas joined in the laughter. 

“But that’s what makes it so special. So wild.” Lucas looked at Joel and then over at Pierce.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Pierce paused and then looked at Lucas. “You know, Luke, it just hit me. Did you look at that brief Ashley wrote? I really can’t help thinking there’s more to it than that.”

“I didn’t have time to do it yesterday…” Lucas focused on the soda can in his hands and sounded a bit insecure.

“No, of course. You had to leave…” Again, Joel thought Pierce was really saying something else altogether. It made him angry he would talk to Lucas like that.

“But I talked to Ashley and I don’t think her conclusions are that far off. I just need to get her to talk to Neil and we’ll be all set. What truly worries me…”

The lawyers lost themselves in discussing an upcoming deposition which apparently required some legal matter to be researched. Joel couldn’t follow the rapid conversation peppered with legalese and once again he sat by listening to Lucas talk to his friend. As far as he could tell, Pierce was very good at what he did, if Lucas’ trouble in answering his questions were anything to go by. The discussion turned animated and it was clear they didn’t see things the same way. Watching him in the heated discussion, Joel had to admit Pierce was an attractive man. His eyes reflected his apparent intelligence and Joel found himself staring at his hands as he gestured to emphasize his points. They looked strong and soft at the same time. Joel wondered how they would feel against his body. Did Lucas miss them against his? He tried to shake the image of Lucas and Pierce together out of his head.

The food appeared but it didn’t mean a pause in their debate. Concentrating on the salad in front of him, Joel felt like the third wheel. Not exactly the lunch he had envisioned. Suddenly, Lucas seemed to realize he was still there and looked at him guiltily.

“Oh, I’m sorry Joel. We’re just in the middle of this thing and it’s kind of hard to stop the mind from spinning. This must be so boring for you…” He trailed off, reaching out and taking Joel’s hand in his.

“No, it’s ok.” The answer came without thought. He could hear Pierce snort softly, probably knowing he was lying through his teeth. He guessed that was his cue and he rose. “Maybe I should get going…”

“Ok, sweetie. I’ll see you back home tonight.” Lucas jumped to his feet and kissed Joel. The sudden move made Joel step back, tipping over the pile of material Pierce stacked so carefully.

“No! Oh, for the love of God…” Pierce sighed.

“I’m sorry!” Joel felt like an idiot.

“It’s ok. I guess being your size, grace isn’t exactly to be expected.” With that cold smile he seemed to reserve for Joel, Pierce started sorting the papers and books once more.

“Pierce…” Lucas gave the man a sharp look, only to be met by a huff.

Lucas took him by the arm and led him just outside the door.

“I’m sorry I screwed up again and had our lunch turn out this way. I really thought I’d have time.” Giving Joel a hug, Lucas didn’t seem to want to let go. After hearing Pierce calling for him, he gave Joel a kiss and went back inside.  

After taking a walk home to kill at least a part of the afternoon, Joel once more found himself spending the rest of the day online and even ended up eating dinner in front of his laptop. Lucas called and said he would be late again. Apparently, some other emergency. The thought of him and Pierce alone made Joel jealous. Sure, Lucas had told him he had nothing to worry about, but wouldn’t he say just that? Maybe he genuinely thought Joel had nothing to worry about, but in the long run, Joel could help but wonder if Lucas didn’t actually need a man like Pierce. Someone he had more in common with. A man on his level.

When Lucas finally came home, he was on the phone. He nodded at Joel but headed straight for his office.

“I know, right. What could he possibly see in that slut?” Lucas giggled into the phone. “Pierce, you are so mean…”

The door closed, leaving Joel alone once more. He decided to go to bed and read. After an hour, there was still no sign of Lucas. He turned off the light, bunching his pillow a little too hard before lying down.

Some time later, sounds behind him woke him up. Lucas had climbed into bed.

“Hey, you…” The whispered words were accompanied by a hand on his shoulder. “I believe I promised you a rematch…” Lucas leaned in and gave his ear a kiss.

“I’m tired.” Wrapping himself in tighter in his comforter, Joel didn’t look up. “I’m going to sleep.”

“Oh…”

An oppressive silence settled between them.