Chapter Seventeen

 

Duncan did not slip back into silence once we left the island and returned to Boston. I was surprised—pleasantly so—when he called and texted several times our first week back. He asked me how work was going at Immunity, and I made the mistake of telling him the truth. Well, the real mistake had probably been telling him about getting beat up and so on in my past while we were on the island. Because when I mentioned the sexual harassment I endured at Immunity—a normal occurrence, daunting as it was—he became concerned for my welfare, and amped up his campaign urging me to quit and return to Club Mythic.

And I wanted to do that. I really wanted to. But the only way I’d consider it was if I knew that Duncan was dating only me. And I didn’t know that. Nor would I ask, at least not yet. I was torn between feeling we’d connected in a way that went far beyond casual, and remembering our conversation on the beach. He’d plainly indicated that he didn’t see a real future for us because of the age difference. And while he’d apologized profusely for treating me like a kid, he’d yet to take back the other part. I still had no idea if Duncan saw monogamy with me as an option at some point. And I was probably being stupid for continuing on with him in light of that.

But I just couldn’t help myself. My want for him had swiftly become need, and I craved his presence every moment I wasn’t distracted with work or my jogs with Doug or dealing with life stuff. Sleep wasn’t even a reprieve, as I dreamed about him most nights.

But I hadn’t completely crawled back into a hole of caution and self-doubt. I told Duncan in no uncertain terms that I wanted another date, and that I would be the one to plan it this time. While I couldn’t whisk him off to an island or anything lavish, I knew I could show him a good time. I had some money in my bank account again, so I got the exhaust fixed on my car. I was taking the reins on this date, and that meant I was driving, shitty car or not. I refused to hide my lack of wealth. If Duncan wanted to date me, then he’d see the full picture, the reality of who I was at this point in my life.

I did, however, fear that my idea of going to Canobie Lake Park might reinstate his view that I was just a kid, wanting to go to an amusement park for a date. But his response allayed that fear.

“I absolutely love rollercoasters,” he’d said. “When should we go?”

He wouldn’t give me complete control however, and insisted we spend the night in a hotel that he would pay for. I tried to argue, but he would have none of it, and won me over by insisting he couldn’t spend an entire day with me without wanting to fuck me, and that he didn’t want to wait until we drove all the way back to Boston to do so. I conceded to his manipulation, quite happily, and the plan was set.

My bag packed, I headed over to his house, my little red car looking out of place when I pulled into his circular driveway and parked. Reminding myself that I wasn’t allowing any shame, I held my head high as I went to the door and rang the bell.

Duncan didn’t look like a rich guy when he stepped out onto the porch with his bag. He wore long shorts and a baggy tee shirt, his light brown hair tucked under a ball cap. “Hey, sexy,” he said, and gave me a kiss. “Do you think it’s going to rain?”

I glanced up at the sky. “It’s overcast, but the weather reports say no rain. We should be good. You still want to go?”

Duncan smiled. “I’m all yours. Let’s get out of here.”

“All mine. At least for the day,” I said as we got in the car.

Yeah, I wasn’t above letting a few risky comments slip. I wasn’t perfect. Duncan smirked at me from the passenger seat as I pulled out of the driveway. “And the night,” he said. “Don’t forget that part.”

“Right.” I chuckled. “You’re all mine for twenty-four hours.”

Duncan played with the car radio for a while once we hit the highway, but like everything else about the car, it was shitty, and nothing would really tune in.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “About the lack of music.”

He shut it off and grabbed my thigh, leaning in. “I’ll sing to you.”

I laughed. “Oh boy. You been doing karaoke with your nephew?”

“Good God, no. I’m a terrible singer.”

“So you just want to torture me?”

He moved his lips close to me ear and sang, “Night and daaay, you are the one. Only you beneath the moon or under the sun.”

His voice cracked, and it wasn’t in tune, but it gave me a little shiver anyway. I glanced at him, grinning. “That is pretty bad. But I like it.”

He kissed my cheek then fell back into his seat. “I’m afraid Corey got all the talent in the family. He’s good at everything.”

“I like your singing better.”

Duncan barked a laugh. “Such lies you tell.”

“I’m serious.”

“Corey can actually sing,” Duncan said. “How on earth can you say you like my wretched voice better?”

“Because it’s you.”

I focused on the road, but I could feel his eyes on me. And then I could feel some discomfort coming off of him as he faced front, growing quiet. This wasn’t the first time since returning from the island that I’d sensed Duncan retreat when I said something heartfelt like that. He’d done it on the phone a couple of nights ago, and it was confusing.

I’d been lying on my bed, phone to my ear, listening as Duncan told me about an ex-girlfriend he’d had. Yeah, I’d asked about his past relationships. I was nosy, and it seemed only fair, since he’d known my ex-boyfriend all the way back to the day he was born. Duncan told me about a woman he’d been in love with in New York years back, and how he didn’t understand why she claimed to love him when she seemed to hate everything about him. She’d tried to change him, told him he should ‘act more normal’, even suggested he dye his hair blond and grow a beard.

Duncan relayed the story with humor, but I couldn’t help being bothered by it. And I’d told him so. “She sounds like an idiot,” I’d said. “I wouldn’t change a thing about you. And anyone lucky enough to have you in love with them should be thanking the universe for their good fortune, not bitching about things.”

Duncan had gone quiet after I said it. When I’d asked if anything was wrong, he’d changed the subject over to more trivial things, then said he had to go. I didn’t know quite what to do with this side of him. If it bothered him when I said heartfelt things, when I let him know how special he was to me, he could say so. But he hadn’t thus far. And he still seemed to want to spend time with me. I supposed I should ease up on making comments like that. But I hated censoring myself. And I hated not knowing how he felt about me.

By the time we got to the park, he seemed in good humor again, chatting away and slinging his arm over my shoulders as we walked. He headed straight for the biggest rollercoaster, and we rode it twice in succession.

We spent the day playing games and filling up on junk food, and by the end of it I was comfortable again, forgetting about his strange silences, the way he withdrew from me when I tried to get closer. He kept giving me quick kisses, and he held my hand as we left the park. I was blissfully happy. Until we checked into the hotel nearby. Then everything changed.

Covered in dust and dirt from the park, we agreed we should shower. I went first, and when I came out, Duncan was scowling at his phone. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” He set the phone down and smiled, coming toward me. “Look at you all fresh and clean.” He kissed me on the neck. “I don’t want to get you dirty,” he said when I tried to wrap my arms around him. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

Duncan disappeared into the bathroom to shower, and I dressed in the lounge pants I’d brought. We were in for the night, since neither of us was hungry enough to go to dinner after all the junk we’d eaten at the park. Stretching back on the bed, I closed my eyes, smiling when I heard Duncan singing badly in the shower.

His phone buzzed on the bedside table next to my head. I glanced at it, and saw text bubbles. Do not snoop at his phone. Do not snoop at his phone.

I snooped at his phone. In my defense, I didn’t have to actually touch it. I only had to lean over and look at the screen. I saw two texts. From Wes.

‘I don’t know what you want from me.’ Then, ‘You want me to say it, Duncan? I love you.’

I closed my eyes and let my head fall back on the pillow. My stomach churned unpleasantly. This was my date with Duncan. My fucking date. And now I felt like someone else was here with us. What I’d read in those texts could be interpreted many ways. Maybe Duncan was ignoring Wes. Or maybe they’d been text fighting. Maybe Duncan was actually into Wes. I didn’t know. I only knew I didn’t like it, and I felt like the night was ruined now.

Duncan came out of the bathroom naked, and I weakened. He was singing and bending over to search his bag, and I smiled in spite of myself. “Nice butt,” I said.

He straightened and smirked at me as he pulled on a pair of shorts. “Look at you all stretched out in bed,” he said. “Like a package waiting just for me.”

He crawled onto the mattress and sidled up next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist and burrowing his face into my bare shoulder. “Your phone’s been buzzing,” I said.

Duncan stiffened. “Has it?”

“Yep.”

“I’ll shut it off.” Duncan reached over me and picked up his phone. Sitting up, he frowned at the screen for a long moment. Sighing, he shut it off, then leaned over again and set it down on the bedside table.

“Everything okay?”

He smiled and stroked my cheek with his knuckle. “Everything’s perfect.”

I returned his smile.

“What’s the matter, Zach?”

“Nothing. I’m in bed with you and I just had a great day.”

“Something’s bothering you,” Duncan said. “If you think I don’t know your expressions intimately by now, even when you’re pretending to smile, you are quite mistaken.”

Despite what I felt inside, there was no way I’d volunteer what I knew. I would not ruin this time with Duncan over jealousy. I would not be that person if I could help it. I was getting better at reining old Zach in, and I had a good grip on him right now. I schooled my features and smiled. “Duncan, nothing’s wrong. It’s been a great day. I just want to kiss you and touch you and other things.”

Duncan’s brow was still furrowed. “You read my texts. Didn’t you?”

I couldn’t lie to him. I was sure the blush climbing my cheeks gave me away regardless. “I didn’t go snooping through your phone. I turned my head, and it was right there on the screen.”

“It would have required a bit more effort than just turning your head to read those texts.”

My lips tightened. I couldn’t read Duncan’s expression. It had gone blank. “Okay. So what if I did?”

“You need to stop doing that,” he said.

I sat up. “I’ve never done that before! Read your texts.”

“Not that, Zach. I mean worrying about other people when you’re with me.”

I sighed and rubbed my face with my palms. “Okay.” Letting my hands fall to my lap, I met his narrowed eyes. “Okay. Stop looking at me like that.”

“Zach.” He reached for me and I flinched. “Now you don’t want me to touch you?”

“It’s a little hard not to think about other people when they’re texting to say they love you. During our date.”

“No, no, we’re not doing that.” Duncan grabbed me and wrestled me down onto the mattress, pinning me with his body. “We’re not.”

I stared up at him. His brown hair hanging over his eyes, face flushed from the shower, his warm body pressed against me, it should have made me swoon. But I felt knotted up inside. “What aren’t we doing?” I whispered.

“Talking about someone else when we should be focused on each other,” he said. “We’ve done that enough times. We’re not doing it again.”

“How do you expect—”

Duncan’s hand covered my mouth. “I don’t love Wes. I don’t want to date him anymore. I’ve told him this and he isn’t responding well. I’ve shut my phone off, and it’s done. So stop. All right?”

Sighing through my nose, I nodded.

Releasing my mouth, Duncan kissed me. Relaxing, I melted into it. He eased up and stared down at me. “When I’m with you, I’m with you,” he said.

I scowled.

“Stop that!” He laughed, smoothing my forehead with his index finger.

“I’m sorry. But saying ‘When I’m with you, I’m with you’ only makes me focus on what you do when you’re not with me. So bad choice of words, Duncan, that’s all.”

Duncan surprised me by rising up and tugging my lounge pants off.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting you naked.” He tossed my pants aside and knelt on the mattress, flipping me over onto my stomach. I jerked when he slapped my ass. “Stop.” He slapped it again. “Focusing on other people.”

I tried not to grin but I did. I liked when he spanked me. Liked the sting of it. Which was weird, because I’d never liked it before, had stopped anyone who’d even tried. But with Duncan, for some reason, it felt like an affirmation, like it meant he cared. I didn’t fully understand my own feelings about it, I only knew it made me laugh and forget everything else. And it did other things to my body. I felt myself stiffening against the sheet. “Okay. I’ll stop.”

“Stop what?”

I chuckled. “Focusing on other people when we’re together.”

He hit me again with a hard crack on my right cheek.

“Ouch!” I snickered. “Did you not hear me? I said I’ll stop.”

“That’s for snooping at my phone.”

I hugged a pillow, chuckling.

“And?” His palm stroked my bare ass. “You going to apologize for that?”

A mischievous whim overtook me. “Nope. I’m not sorry I snooped at your phone.”

The gentle stroking ceased, and Duncan’s hand came down hard, making me jolt. “You’re not sorry?”

I squeezed my eyes shut. That one hurt. Yet somehow felt better than ever. “I’m not sorry,” I repeated softly. I braced myself for another slap, but it didn’t come. Glancing back, I looked at Duncan.

He smirked at me, his face flushed. “Did you want something, Zach?”

“I said I’m not sorry. Aren’t you gonna spank me again?”

Duncan doubled over laughing. “You little shit.”

I snorted, amused. Corey had always called me a little shit, and it sounded nearly identical coming from Duncan. “Why am I a little shit?”

His head lifted and he sighed, grinning. “You want me to spank you, don’t you?”

“Nope.” I smiled. “I’m just really not sorry.”

Duncan slapped my other cheek, and my head bowed. I breathed into the pillow, relishing the sting. “Still not sorry?” he asked, his voice low and husky.

I kept my head down. “Still not sorry.”

He slapped me again and I jerked. “Stay there,” he said, and I felt the mattress shift.

My cock swelled when I heard him rifling through his bag. This entire thing had me excited and horny, even the timbre of Duncan’s voice. I liked it so much it was probably a bad idea. I was addicted enough to Duncan as it was. Adding a kink I hadn’t thought I possessed? Yeah, this would make my longing for him worse in days to come, I was sure. But letting him control me like this filled up that need inside, that empty space always present because I knew he wasn’t fully mine. This apology spanking game wiped all that aside and replaced it with something else, and it fulfilled me in an odd way while it was happening.

The mattress shifted, then Duncan’s warm hand smoothed over my ass, up my back and down again. He leaned over and kissed the side of my neck. “How’s your butt feeling?”

I smiled. “You tell me.”

“Your skin’s hot,” he whispered as he stroked my ass. A lubed finger penetrated me, and I hissed, clenching around it. “Do you like that?” he asked, massaging my prostate.

I groaned. “God yes.”

Duncan eased back onto his knees. Still working his finger in and out, he asked, “Are you sorry now that you read my texts?”

I inhaled sharply. “No.”

His hand came down with a loud crack, making me jump and hiss.

“Was that too hard?” he asked, voice breathy.

“No.” It was harder than he’d hit me so far, but his finger was still inside me, rubbing, and the combined sensations were sending me off somewhere crazy. I felt like I was levitating, the pleasure and pain exploding my nerves, and I wanted more. “Not too hard,” I huffed.

Duncan chuckled, and I writhed when his finger began moving faster. “I guess I’m getting to know you better,” he said. “I had no idea you liked me spanking you so much.”

“Neither did I.” I gasped when his finger pressed the nerves inside. “It’s because it’s you.”

I tried to regret the words. I knew things like that made him retreat from me. But I was gliding on an electric cloud of pleasure, and couldn’t control myself.

“Because it’s me?” Duncan asked.

His voice was soft, and I didn’t hear any discomfort in his tone this time. “Yes. Because it’s you. I want to be yours.”

I heard his breath catch, and for a moment, his penetrating finger slowed. I had a second to question if I’d just fucked up the game, when he slapped my ass again, making me whimper. “This what you want?” he whispered.

My breath was coming in pants, and I pushed back, trying to force his finger deeper. “Yes.”

He slapped me again, and again I whimpered and tried to take more of his finger.

“Not enough?” he asked, and slapped me again. “You want more?”

“Not enough, and too much at the same time,” I said through heavy breaths. “Everything’s on fire.”

“You want me to fuck you?”

“Yes,” I hissed, clenching around his finger. “Please, now.”

The finger disappeared, leaving me throbbing for more. My skin tingled but was starting to numb where he’d slapped it. Precum slicked my cock and I pushed against the mattress when I heard him prepping the condom. I needed to be filled again, I could barely contain myself.

“Please,” I said, and then he was there, pushing into me. I whimpered and sighed. “Yes. Fuck me, Duncan. God, please.”

Duncan moaned as he grabbed my ass and thrust into me again. “You don’t know what that does to me,” he said. “Hearing you beg like that.”

“I can feel it,” I said, and I could, his cock thicker and harder than ever. “Please don’t stop, Duncan. Please give me more.”

“I’ll give you everything you need,” he said, and slapped my ass twice while he pumped into me.

“Oh fuck,” I squeaked, a wave of pleasure knocking me out of myself. I needed to come so bad but was hovering right on the edge, that surge of ecstasy forming pressure everywhere below the waist as my dick rubbed against the sheet each time Duncan thrust into me.

“Almost there, baby?”

Duncan had never called me baby before, and it wasn’t a pet name I’d ever given two shits about, but in this moment, in this place where I hovered, it was everything, and I cried out, “Now! Oh God, it’s happening…”

Duncan made a sound, something between a gasp and a sob, and I was aware of him pumping into me as climax shook me, his cock rubbing me inside and bringing me over the edge while I shot my load onto the sheet. The side of my face pressed into the pillow, my mouth fell open but I couldn’t make a sound, could only feel, coming with no control as shock after shock of pleasure rocked me.

When it was over I couldn’t move. Duncan slipped out of me and fell onto his side next to me. I blinked, studying his face. His eyes were closed and he was drenched in sweat, brown hair askew on his head. Chest rising and falling, he reached over and grabbed me around the waist, pulling me in until I was pressed up against him. “I don’t care that you peeked at my texts.”

I laughed, my body jerking us both. “You don’t?”

“No.” He squeezed his arms around me. “Just stop trying to find reasons to be unhappy when you’re with me.”

The laughter trailed out of me. “I didn’t think I was.”

His eyes opened and he stroked a lock of hair off my forehead. “I know you police yourself, I understand. I just wish you wouldn’t do it so much with me. Stop questioning everything. I want you to let go and enjoy yourself.”

I smiled. “Did I not just do that?”

A grin crept up his face. “I suppose you did.”

“Because it’s you.” I stroked his chin with my finger. “And I don’t care if you don’t like when I say that. It’s the truth.”

Gripping the back of my neck, Duncan drew me in and capture my lips. I lost myself in his soft tongue and stubble scraping my skin. Eyes closed, he eased back an inch. “You’re wrong, Zach. I like when you say it.”

“You do?”

He shivered a sigh. “I love when you say it.”

I smiled, my heart fluttering. “I know we’re all dirty and sticky, but kiss me a bit longer.”

“Absolutely.”

As Duncan’s mouth took mine again I sighed into his, my body relaxing against him. My ass was stinging, and I liked it. I was covered in fluid and I smelled like sweat, but I liked it. I was falling in love, and I liked that too. Panic tried to rise at the thought, but I tried to do what Duncan asked of me.

I let it go and tried to enjoy myself. I could always worry about it later. And knowing myself, I was pretty goddamn certain I would.