After several days of coming home to Alexa, Hawk was starting to get used to her being around. She was becoming part of the routine, part of his everyday life. He’d been able to rely on her whenever something came up, and she’d been there for him. If he had to work late, she stayed. She even spent the night so he could do a few harder jobs. That was a huge plus. And if he was being honest, he wasn’t trying too hard to find a new babysitter anymore. He wanted her to be the one to watch Damian. He wanted her to be there in his house when he got home after a hard day of work.

 

Damian seemed to also be growing attached to her. Of course, he was just a baby and was happy to be with anyone who fed him and gave him clean diapers. It was important that he was happy with her. He liked seeing Damian reach for her when she came in the door and that he was happy and content when he came home at night. Though Damian seemed fine going to Natalie’s when he used to go there every day, he never seemed so excited to see her as he did Alexa. Why in the world would Damian want to give that up to have some other babysitter caring for him?

 

Damian wasn’t the only one who got excited over seeing Alexa, though. No matter how he tried to push the feelings down, there was a little flutter in Hawk’s heart when she rang the bell or he came home and saw her. The more time he spent with her, the more time he wanted to be in her company. He didn’t need a relationship right now in his life. It would only complicate things, especially if she was watching Damian. What if something happened between them and she decided she couldn’t watch him anymore? Then he’d be right back where he was with no sitter. And right now, the whole babysitter arrangement was perfect.

 

Yet, he couldn’t deny that she made him laugh. So many times, she’d sing a goofy song to Damian and make faces and have him cracking up. She was smart, too. She always noticed little things, like when he moved the dish he kept his keys in or the one time he swiped out the microwave. She was highly observant like that. She knew if he had a bad day when he walked in the door, or if Damian hadn’t slept well the night before. She hadn’t even been around them very long, yet she could read them easily. More times than he could count he’d come home after a hard day and within minutes she’d made him feel better.

 

Not only were his feelings building, but so was the sexual tension. After that first time in the hallway when they’d nearly kissed, there had been a few more encounters like that. One time she handed Damian to him and leaned in as she did. He almost kissed her then. Another time he’d reached over and put his face much too close to hers. Every time, he’d turned as soon as he realized what was happening. But it seemed to take longer and longer each time.

 

He tried not to look at her body too long. If he wasn’t aching to kiss her, he was surely aching to do more. His dick would harden at the sight of her tight jeans or fitted top. He wanted to reach out and grab her. At night, he dreamt about the things he would do to her if he had the chance. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. One of these days he was going to kiss her and not be able to stop. And there would be no going back after that.

 

He’d tried to think it all through. What would happen if they hooked up? Could they just go on like that? Put Damian to bed, then go hook up? She would probably want some sort of relationship, and he’d never been good at that. He needed to let her know, if something did happen, that it couldn’t go too far. He couldn’t be expected to be her boyfriend. To do things like go out on dates or meet her family just wasn’t his style.

 

Once again, he kicked himself for not just screwing Natalie. She’d promised no strings, and now here he was, facing a situation that could have many more strings. He could have made life easy on himself. Bang Natalie whenever he or she felt like it, keep his babysitter who’d been just fine, and not worry about any sort of expectations. Instead, he’d turned her down, fired her as a sitter, and now found himself attracted to a woman who might want far more than he was willing or able to give.

 

When her background check had come back from his buddy in the Kings, everything had been clear. She had no record of any sort but that didn’t mean she wasn’t hiding something. He walked in the door and heard her singing to Damian. Some lullaby he didn’t really know, but it sounded sweet. She looked up when he walked into the living room.

 

“Welcome home,” she said and smiled.

 

Damian held up his hands and let out a happy squeal.

 

“That’s right,” she said, “Uncle Hawk is home.”

 

Hawk took the baby from her and cradled him against his chest. “Hey, little man,” he said, and put his finger on Damian’s nose. The baby wiggled away and hiccupped.

 

Alexa stood and stretched. “Good day?”

 

“Wasn’t too bad. Got all the cars I wanted to get.”

 

“That’s good. And I got all the dirty diapers I wanted.”

 

Hawk chuckled. “I bet.”

 

“He’s a healthy baby, that’s for sure. Always so content and happy.”

 

“I’m sure that has a lot to do with you. You take good care of him.”

 

“So do you.”

 

“I was thinking,” he said. “Maybe tonight I could cook you dinner as kind of a thank you for all you’ve done. I can grill a pretty mean steak.”

 

“Is that so?” She tilted her head back and eyed him. “I think I might have to test you on that.”

 

“Anytime.” He smiled and handed Damian back to her. “If you wouldn’t mind.”

 

“Of course not.”

 

Alexa played with Damian for a while as he got things started. He’d already had the steaks in the refrigerator thawing for tonight. He had some fresh asparagus, too.

 

He went outside to the grill and started it up. The whole process of cleaning off the metal bars with the wire brush, feeling the grit come away under his pressure, then lighting the coals and watching them dance with flame for a while before turning red and glowing seemed to soothe him. Setting the steaks down and hearing that sizzle and pop as the fat hit the hot coals under. He’d grill steaks every night if the good ones weren’t so expensive.

 

As he started the asparagus in his vegetable griller, he watched Alexa with Damian through the window. He could watch her for hours playing with him and singing to him and rocking him. The baby just laughed and laughed when he was with her. She was something else. How was it she didn’t have kids of her own? Or a boyfriend or husband? These were things he wanted to find out tonight.

 

Most nights, she didn’t stay very long, and they didn’t get to talk much. This had been his plan when he knew he needed to find some things out: have a nice dinner, maybe bring out the wine to get her talking, and find out what her deal was. He still wondered if she was playing him somehow, but his feelings for her made him less suspicious all the time. That alone could be dangerous. Get in close, get the feelings going, then boom, hit you with whatever it is they were after. He’d seen it done to too many guys and something like that had happened to his brother.

 

When the asparagus was nearly done, he put the steaks on, watching carefully for the perfect moment to flip them. He took the food back inside where Alexa was setting the table with one hand while she held Damian on her other hip.

 

“That smells amazing,” she said.

 

“Just wait until you taste it.” He winked and dished the food out on the plates.

 

Alexa put Damian in his high chair and took a jar of baby food from the cabinet. “He should be good on formula for the day.” She put on his bib and fed him a spoonful before cutting into her own meat. “Wow, this looks perfect.”

 

He watched as she took her first bite, closing her eyes in enjoyment. “Like it?”

 

“Oh yes.”

 

“So, I passed the test?”

 

“Most definitely. Though, you might regret it.”

 

“How’s that?” He raised an eyebrow.

 

“If I know you can cook like this, I might want you to cook for me all the time.”

 

“I’d be happy to.”

 

Damian made a gurgle and slapped his palms on the tray of the high chair. Alexa fed him another few bites of his food before going back to hers. Hawk slid closer to the high chair and took over feeding him so she could eat.

 

“So, tell me,” he said. “You’re beautiful, smart, funny, caring, and clearly good with kids. How exactly do you not have a boyfriend? Or are you dating someone?”

 

“I’m not.” She set down her fork and took a sip of her wine. “I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t find the right one? I’ve had some boyfriends in the past. Nothing major. But what about you? I could ask the same thing. Good job, good looking, sacrificing your bachelorhood to take on your nephew. Women go nuts for that sort of thing.”

 

He turned back to her. “I don’t usually do relationships.”

 

“Why is that?”

 

“They’re complicated. And people always get hurt.”

 

“Not always,” she said. “What about the couples who end up getting married?”

 

“They still get hurt. It just takes longer and ends up being much more expensive.”

 

“So, you’re completely against marriage?”

 

“Not completely. It’s fine for other people.”

 

She laughed. “Right. Just not for you.”

 

“Do you blame me? Are your parents still together?”

 

“They are, actually. And pretty happy about it, I’d say. Yours aren’t?”

 

He shook his head. “Well, I guess they might be together wherever they are, I don’t know. They’re both dead.”

 

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.”

 

He lifted one shoulder. “They weren’t exactly the best parents. My dad was barely around and when he was, it wasn’t good. My mom was a nightmare, too. I don’t see it as much of a loss.”

 

“Having bad parents has to be better than having no parents at all.”

 

“Not when they get in your way and try to mess up your life.”

 

“How would your parents mess up your life?”

 

“You must’ve had some really good parents to question that,” he said. “Picture someone always calling, always drunk, always yelling at you, guilting you into doing things for them. It’s a lot for a teen to deal with. She tried to make me work and give her the money, she tried to take me from my aunt and uncle, who were actually trying to give my brother and me a good life. My mother was everything a horrible mother could possibly be.”

 

“Wow.” She pushed a piece of asparagus around on her plate. “That does sound awful. I’m sorry. Your brother, though, is that Damian’s dad?”

 

“Yeah. My only sibling. He was killed when he was only a few months old.”

 

“And you took him in.”

 

“My aunt and uncle offered to, but I wanted to. It makes me feel like part of him is still here, still with me.”

 

She looked into his eyes for a long time. “How did he die?”

 

Hawk closed his eyes. He was not about to think that much about Hugh, let alone talk about him. “He was killed.”

 

“You said, but how?”

 

“Cold blooded murder. Shot in the head. It’s not something I really like to talk about. Or think about.”

 

“That’s understandable. Were you close? Before, I mean? Did you have a good relationship?”

 

“I guess. We lived together for a while. Took care of each other. I tried to look out for him. He didn’t always want my help. But we spent a lot of time together.”

 

He really needed to change the subject off parents and family. This was not at all the direction he wanted things to go in, and he was not going to talk about this stuff with her. Or with anyone for that matter.

 

Though he had to admit that talking about Hugh did feel like something of a relief. He’d just told her things that he hadn’t tell anyone. He wouldn’t even talk with his aunt and uncle about this stuff. Yet Alexa just coaxed it right out of him. If her plan was to get him to open up, she was succeeding but he couldn’t keep going like this. He’d end up making himself look like a fool or getting himself into trouble.