Ivy
Don’t look him in the eye. Don’t move quickly or he’ll strike. Don’t even breathe loudly.
I felt like I was dealing with a wild animal instead of a person. I didn’t want him to think I was challenging his authority in any way. I saw what he and his friends did to the diner; I didn’t want to know what he and his friends could do to my body.
Shivering, I kept my eyes locked on the carpet at Creed began to list off all of the reasons he’d trust me over anyone to take care of his kid. Josh was a nice kid, with great intelligence, and a strong sense of will and independence. If I was being completely honest with myself, I liked the kid in spite of his deficiencies. He needed discipline and lots of it. But I wasn’t quite sure I was the right one to give it to him. I’d never been around a kid for long, except him. He was going to be more trouble than he was worth.
Except you have no other possible source of income right now. You have no prospects, no leads. Nothing. Your only job was just shattered by this man standing in front of you.
And what a frightening man he was. Imposing and filled with the kind of lethal self-confidence that soaked through my panties and left me quivering in a mix of fear and desire. He was beautiful, strong, and he could help me. A bad combination of things when I was already attracted to him.
Shit. I can’t say yes, but I can’t afford to say no. It was the impossible choice. The unsolvable riddle. Did I throw my lot in with a dangerous criminal who I wanted with every fiber of my being and earn the money I needed to eat, or did I turn him down and starve, get kicked out of the only shelter that would take me, and probably end up in homeless housing before the end of the month?
There was no other possible solution. I had to take it. “I’ll take it and make it as short term as possible. I’ll find something else. I have to. If he asked me right now, I’d be hard pressed not to let him take me. This is not a good idea,” I thought.
Sighing, I glanced up for just a second into that hard face. He was watching me like a panther would watch prey. It made me uncomfortable even as it sent pleasant little shivers down to my toes. Crap.
“Alright then, Creed.”
Stepping out of my room, I closed my door behind myself. I walked over to Creed’s room, waiting patiently for him to open the door for me.
With curiosity in those pretty, steel eyes, Creed opened the door, then gestured exaggeratedly for me to go in first. There was a strange smile on his lips, and I had to look away before I was drawn in like a moth to the flame.
Josh was sitting in front of the TV, his little sneakers banging against the floor in time to some imaginary music. I stepped forward with a confidence I didn’t feel and flicked off the TV.
“Hey!” Josh whined, his eyes snapping to my face. “I was watching that.”
“I’m sorry, but this is important. I need to talk to you, and I need you to listen.”
Josh wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve then got to his feet. “Alright, what do you gotta say?”
“Your father wants me to be your new babysitter. How do you feel about that?”
My heart twisted a little in my chest as those chocolate eyes of his lit up like a light bulb. “That sounds okay,” he whispered, his feet tapping the carpet with impatience. “Will you teach me more about cooking?”
“I can try,” I answer, a lancing pain in my chest growing as Josh stared down at his toes. I couldn’t imagine what he was thinking, but whatever it melted my heart. “The only thing I ask in return is that you behave. If you do that, we will get along great. I’ll make you food and teach you what I can.”
Josh looked up at me, his little eyes narrowing. “Okay.”
I turned to Creed. “What’s my pay?”
He was staring at me again with that strange emotion in his gray eyes. I didn’t know what it meant, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. He named a price and I immediately shot back with a counter offer. The crooked smile on his face spread a little as he nodded.
“I’ll also need money for groceries. I’ll make sure he gets regular meals, homemade.”
Creed nodded again, so I squared my shoulders and kept going. “I want Tuesday evenings off and I won’t deal with dirty laundry.” My whole body shook as I met his eyes. Little pulses of fear shuddered through my veins as he studied me. I pushed it too hard; he’s going to freak out any second. Panic rose like bile in my throat, choking my air away.
But much to my surprise, he merely nodded again, that crooked grin spreading wide enough to show his teeth. “As you wish,” he answered with a mocking laugh as he turned and walked out of the door, slamming it behind himself.
My heart thundered in my chest as I fought to breathe. Why did I do that? Why did I push him?
I didn’t have an answer. But something deep in me stirred; perhaps I had just been playing the doormat this whole time. Maybe it was all an act.
Maybe I didn’t want to be that Ivy anymore.
“Can I turn the TV back on, Ivy?” a little voice said from behind me. I whirled to find Josh still standing there, waiting for me to do something.
“Sure, but don’t turn the volume up too loud. I’m going to go see what kind of food I have next door to cook. Are you hungry?”
He nodded so vigorously, he looked like a child-sized bobble head doll.
“What are your thoughts on spaghetti?”
Josh scrunched up his nose. “Is that some sort of vegetable?”
Chuckling, I walked over to the door. “No, it’s not. It’s a pasta.”
His little face went serious and his feet still as he considered my words. “Well, I will try it.”
“That’s good enough for me.” Heading back to my place, I picked up everything I would need, the spaghetti noodles, the cans of crushed tomatoes, and the mostly empty bottle of dried herbs. I frowned at them; when they were gone, I wouldn’t have the money to replace them unless I really got creative with coupons or something.
Maybe I’ll find something part-time I can do when I’m not with the kid. It wasn’t too much to hope for, hopefully. If I could work two jobs, pull in money twice as fast-- Well, I can worry about that when I get to it. For now, let’s get this pasta going.
I searched both Josh’s little kitchenette and mine, looking for basic ingredients to make the perfect sauce. There was a little fifty-cent can of crushed tomatoes in my kitchen that would make up most of the sauce along with some dried basil, garlic powder, and parsley. In Creed’s kitchen, I found nothing but beer and a salt shaker that was still half full.
Good enough for a sauce. I would have given anything for some ground sausage or beef to add to the sauce, maybe an onion, olive oil, and a handful of fresh basil leaves, but I would do the best I could with what I had.
I brought everything over to Josh’s, stepping around him carefully as he watched the TV. Then I got to work. As soon as the scents of the sauce started wafting around the little motel room, it drew Josh in, his little nose lifted into the air like a dog.
“I don’t know what this pagsgettin is, but it smells pretty good,” he said, jumping up onto a barstool and looking down at my simmering pot of sauce.
“Spaghetti, Josh, and please do not stand on the chair. If you fell over, you would get a face full of boiling water.” I smiled at him to soften the disciplining, hoping he would take better to it if I gave some reasons why he should be more careful. “Then you would ruin our dinner.”
Josh screech-laughed, his voice high-pitched and echoing around the tiny space. I felt like my damned ears were bleeding. “I wouldn’t want to ruin the dinner!” He hopped down from his perch and did a lap around the room, jumping over the bed and running across the carpet from one end to the other.
It’s amazing that the downstairs neighbors don’t bang on the ceiling every five minutes with this kid up here. Though with how he reacted when he heard me knocking on the wall, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve just given up and let him do whatever he wants.
Sighing, I kept at it, stirring and answering questions as best as I could. Soon, dinner was served, and the little guy slurped it up like it was his first meal in days. He ate two plates of it before returning to the TV. He even thanked me for the food as he wiped his red-stained mouth with the back of his sleeve.
I sat down on the bed next to him and we flipped through the channels for a couple of hours before the kid started yawning. I made him take his shoes off and crawl under the covers before he passed out.
“Hey, Ivy?” Josh asked, just as I started gathering up my stuff from dinner to go back to my motel room.
“Yes, Josh?”
The kid clutched the covers to his chin, his little face a screwed up. “Will you stay until I fall asleep?”
“Of course I will, kiddo,” I whispered, trying to swallow the tears that pricked the corners of my eyes. He’d sounded so lost and brittle. “I’ll sit here and watch TV until you’re sleeping. Deal?”
The little dark-haired boy nodded, a smile on his face. “Thanks, Ivy.”
“No problem, Josh.”
So I sat down on the edge of the bed and stayed until he could no longer keep his dark eyes open anymore.