Ivy
I think Creed making me part of the Edge has only made things worse. I glanced around the building. Instead of being ignored or tolerated, I was watched much more closely by the men and women of the Edge. Their attention was from a distance, however. Not a single one spoke or looked at me once I got too close. It was like I was diseased or unlucky.
Feeling a little like a pariah, I sought out Pearl. Perhaps she would be able to tell me what I could do.
Thrills trickled over every inch of my body when I thought about how I had been claimed as Creed’s woman, but the feeling of being a part of the Edge still eluded me. I wished Creed hadn’t run off so quickly; I just wanted his to explain my place. As amazing as the sex was and forgetting the feelings I had for Creed, I didn’t belong here.
And Creed is furious. Now he has two people to be used against him instead of just one. I knew how much of a burden I’d become, but I couldn’t see how to fix it.
Wandering around the Edge, I watched as a few of the members worked to put bikes, walls, and rooms back together, cleaning up broken pieces and salvaging all of the pieces that were worth reusing or fixing. I wanted to help, but I knew I would be next to useless. I’d never been good with my hands.
After about ten minutes of wandering aimlessly, I found Pearl. She was standing beside Patrick, slightly favoring her injured leg. They stood side-by-side, their backs straight and their hands busy. Patrick was putting a workbench of some kind back together, and Pearl was holding a slat up for her other half.
Envious, I watched the two of them. They worked together like two hands attached to the same brain. It always seemed like the other knew exactly what the other needed without asking. It was so different from the stumbling, floundering feeling I got when I was Creed, I felt the air leave my lungs in a rush and refuse to return for a long moment. Knowing I could never be that to Creed, never be the cog that helped the wheel of the Edge turn, left me feeling breathless and hollow.
So I have to change it.
Determined, I pushed my shoulders back and walked over to them.
“How can I help?” I asked, my voice more of a whisper than the firm, loud, confident voice I’d wanted.
Neither of them turned to look at me for even a second. Pearl’s mouth turned down in a frown, but that was the only indication I got from either of them.
After a long second of silence, Pearl spoke. “Creed’s woman, huh? How do you expect to help with those injured hands, exactly?” She was dressed as usual, in bright, gypsy clothing, but there was something darker about her today. Pearl’s eyes had dark circles wrapped around them, making her skin look pale and thin. Her hands shook like she’d lost all of her steadiness. I was in awe at her ability to stand with her injury; Pearl was so much stronger than I was. I couldn't even be useful with some scratches and cuts on my fingers.
I glanced down at the white wrappings around my wrists and my fingers. I’d wrapped them myself, awkwardly, but the bandages held. They seemed to do the job. “I don’t know. Measuring, cooking, cleaning? Hell, I’d even walk down 5th naked if it would somehow help.”
Pearl finally looked at me, her eyes as hard as glass. “Well, Creed’s woman, I don’t think any of that will help. Perhaps you should take up some embroidery or something.” She stared at my eye for a moment, unblinking. “Elsewhere.”
The cruelty in her voice shocked me; I just gaped at her, unsure of how to respond. What had changed that made Pearl so against me? “I--”
Pearl held up a hand. “Don’t bother. If you want to be useful to Creed and the Edge, I figure you should find something useful to be.”
“To be?”
Wiping her forehead with the back of her hand, Pearl grimaced. “As you are now, you’re awfully useless.” She straightened out her back and Patrick paused in their work, his eyes locked on my face. “Without some spine or something useful to contribute, neither Creed nor Kelly will let you stick around long. You aren’t good for Creed as you are now, so you would be better off disappearing. Like you should have done in first place.” Pearl’s voice was lined with shattered glass and cut deeply into my body and soul. Her voice was so cold that it stung.
But she was right, of course. But what could be done? How could I prove to her or prove to Creed that I was worth saving? To truly be part of the Edge, I would need to be stronger, louder, and riskier. I would need to go hunting and bring home dinner for the pack.
I met Pearl’s eyes, feeling my own features harden into stone. “You’re right,” I said, balling my hands into fists. “You are absolutely right.”
And that’s when both Pearl and Patrick smiled, lights warming the ice that had formed in their eyes. They nodded in tandem before returning to their work. I felt a little better, but also a little worse. Glad that Pearl was just trying to teach me a lesson the hard way and that I hadn’t lost her friendship, my heart lightened a little. But at the same time, I felt the weight of her words on my shoulders. What can I do to make myself look strong and useful to Creed?
I had no ideas, and nowhere to start.
Wandering around the Edge, I pondered my past, my future, and all of the possible ways I could impress these people. I started forming a plan in my head; I didn’t know if it was a good plan, but it was more than just doing nothing.
Josh found me after a while. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he said, bouncing on his feet. His sneakers looked a little worse for wear, and he had a few bruises on his face and arms, but he seemed unfazed by his kidnapping.
“You’re so much braver than I could ever be,” I told him. “I’m glad you’re okay, too.”
He smiled, kicking debris everywhere with his feet. There was a little bit of a shadow over his eyes, but Josh seemed to be in good spirits. “I wasn’t sure my dad would go back to get you, but he did. I-- I’m glad.”
Smiling, I brushed my hand over his cheek. “I didn’t want to be left behind, so I was pretty happy, too.”
“So you are part of the Devil’s Edge now.”
I nodded. “I guess so. Your dad hasn’t explained all the rules to me yet.”
“We should help out then, I guess. Shouldn’t we?” Josh sounded so uncertain, but he still looked around the Edge, looking for things for us to do. “Let’s go see what Sam is up to. He’ll let me help.”
So we wandered over to Sam together. Sam was one of the older members, and he was in the middle of holing up one of the back entrances. “What are you doing, Sam?”
The older man looked up at Josh, then at me, his face creased with a frown. He was grizzled and bearded, his skin like leather. But he was shirtless, and his body hadn’t lost any definition in its age. He looked as tough as nails, and I had to swallow hard to hide my fear down where it belonged. “I’m closing up half of the entrances to make this place more defensible. You, hand me that hammer.”
Josh picked up the hammer and handed it over. “Here you go!”
“Good, now hold this. You, girl!” he called to me unexpectedly. But I ran forward to help anyway. “Hold up the other end of this 2x4. It needs to be level.”
Without even a glance down at my injured hands, I did as I was asked, holding the bar up so he could nail it to the wall. “That should hold. Come on, you two. Let’s start the next one.”
And I did. There wasn’t much I could do, but I worked as hard as I could. I helped hold, nail, and glue. I mixed cement and stews, swept up shrapnel, and worked until my hands bled through the bandages. I even served the communal meal all of the workers shared. It may have been my imagination, but a few of the faces looked a little softer towards me than they had in the past.
Or it’s all in my head. But when I glanced at Pearl, she was smiling. She nodded at me. Although she still looked tired and grim, there was a little bit of a lightness to her limp as she came for her share of the soup.
“You ain’t too bad at this, girly,” Bax winked at me as he shuffled through the line. “Best be careful; if you cook too well, they’ll end up recruiting you for it later.”
I smiled, handing the ladle over to one of the other women so I could tighten my bandages. “I’ll be careful.”
“Oh, those look bad. Once you’re done, come see me, and I’ll put them on proper. I have a first aid kit over by my bike.”
I nodded, thankful for some friendly conversation and a smile. “Thank you, Bax. I am awkward tying with my left hand, so I could use the help.”
I finished up my duties as quickly as I could, Josh still glued to my side, as the hour chimed nearly 11PM. I was dragging, my feet heavy on the concrete floors. But I kept my head up; it wouldn’t do to show any weakness at all. They already had a low opinion of me. It would be best not to make it worse.
As I made my way over to Bax, the giant, muscle-bound man pulled out a first aid kit, as promised. I could feel a lot of eyes on us as if they wondered if I was being too friendly with Bax. Sighing, I tried to turn my attention away from them, to keep my eyes on what was important, but it felt like I could feel their eyes on my skin.
“Don’t worry about them, Ivy,” Bax said. His huge hands were surprisingly gentle as he cleaned my cuts with something that stung my fingers and my eyes. It smelled so strong that I was pretty sure there wasn’t a germ in the world that wanted any part of it. As soon as the sting started to fade a little, however, my cuts went numb.
I sighed in relief. “What was that?”
“It’s like homemade Neosporin. Pearl makes it. Smells like the ass end of something, doesn’t it?” Bax chuckled. “But damned if it doesn’t work.”
I flexed my fingers, unable to keep the relief from my voice and my face. “Thanks, Bax.” I’d put up with the pain all day and still managed to work with everyone else, but that didn’t mean finally getting some relief from it all didn’t make me feel a million times better. Josh sat down next to me, and the three of us chatted about zombie movies and inane subjects. The less we talked about the Edge, Creed, or anything else about this place, the brighter Josh’s face became.
But then Christine walked in the front door, wrapped like a serpent around Kelly’s arm, and a shadow passed over all of us. It was hard not to feel a little bit smaller with the two of them in the room. The temperature seemed to drop as I saw the look of rage on Christine’s and the amusement on Kelly’s.
They glanced around the club, Kelly not even noting all of the hard work his people had put into the clubhouse all damned day. Instead, his eyes searched the crowd for someone to mess with.
Unfortunately, their eyes landed right on Creed.