Chapter 1
Henrietta Fraser, or Ettie as her close friends called her, yawned. It had been a long and tiring day and she was ready for it to be over. Days like these she hated, she was only twenty-eight but she felt much older. Not that she looked it. She was one of those women who were beautiful without really trying and yet completely oblivious to it. Most men would call her a knockout but she wouldn’t agree. She was the perfect mix of both her parent’s best features. Like her mother, Ettie was considered tall, standing at five seven. She also had her father’s build. Instead of being slim like her mother she was curvy which made her appear shorter. A tiny waist, wide hips, an ample bottom and small breasts. She sometimes envied her mother’s full breasts and figure but that was usually before a good old fashioned Texas heat wave hit them. Her hair was a natural light honey brown, naturally wavy and although she liked to wear it straight down her back the majority of the time, she usually didn’t have the time it took to blow-dry it into behaving. One of the things she had inherited from her mother was her nose. Straight and slightly upturned with what her mother called jelly bean nostrils. Her daughter Lily had the same nose as well. She had a habit of tapping it to calm her nerves, which she was currently doing at the moment. Ettie had freckles that were casually scattered around her cheeks and shoulders, they grew darker in the summer, another thing she had passed down to Lily. But perhaps the strongest and best feature of Henrietta Fraser was her deep amber brown eyes, the exact shade as her father’s, many had claimed to get lost in. There was just something about her features that made her extremely attractive. It was something she tried to downplay as much as possible. She wanted to be liked for her intelligence and humor rather than her beauty. Her strong nature and natural ease intimidated weaker men, which was just fine to her because as her mother often reminded her, she wasn’t raised to be a beauty queen or damsel in distress type. Ettie wasn’t raised to be meek. She was raised to be a warrior.
She heard her mother coughing from the next room and worry creased her brow. It was hard to come to terms with the woman lying in bed and the woman that she knew her mother to be. Andrea Alexander-Fraser was the strongest woman Ettie knew and as cliche as it sounded, her role model. Back in the early seventies, she worked as a social worker, primarily focused on helping at risk youth. She was beautiful, five eight, slim but with full breasts and long dirty blonde hair that she wore in a thick braid down her back. Sometimes her youth and her beauty caused people to not take her that seriously. Truth be told, Andrea Fraser would look more comfortable on a Hollywood movie set than she would on the neighborhood streets of Austin, Texas. She liked to surprise them. When she started speaking, her intellect commanded attention. She also worked in troubled South Park, one of the few Caucasian women at the time to do so. Once the residents knew that Andrea Alexander meant business, she not only earned their attention but she also earned their respect. She was known to pull up on street corners and drag some of her wards to school. She wasn’t afraid of the gang members that frequented those corners. If it was bravery or stupidity, luck or a mixture of all three no one knew. Perhaps it was because they couldn’t believe she had the nerve. It wasn’t just a job to Andrea. She genuinely cared about the children whose files came across her desk. But no matter what she did to help, the problems started long before the children became her cases and so she was also very outspoken at community meetings. She wasn’t always very welcomed. The nosy white lady telling them how to live, but she held her ground and was a permanent fixture at the meetings. It was at one of these gatherings that she had first butt heads with Henry Fraser, Ettie’s father.
Henry Fraser was a Houston police officer who was no nonsense and commanded respect. He was fair but firm and did his best to uphold the law. The thing that set Henry Fraser apart from other police officers was his commitment to the job. He not only worked the streets of South Park but he also grew up there and still maintained a residence nearby in Southgate. He didn’t live his job as a nine to five. His duties extended way beyond quitting time. Although he admired Andrea for her courage and commitment, he often thought that she overstepped her boundaries. These, after all, were not her children and should not be making decisions for them. He wasn’t afraid to hold his tongue and let her know whenever he opposed her. It was a little joke to him and his friends, what he could do this time to anger Ms. Anderson.
It was a surprise to everyone, most of all Henry, when they started showing up to the community events together. And an even bigger shock when they announced their engagement less than eight months later. How could two people who seemingly didn’t like one another end up together? The answer was pretty simple. If you ever wanted to know the story of Andrea Alexander and Henry Fraser the best person to ask would probably be Terrance Pittman, after all he started the whole thing. Terrence had witnessed their relationship from the very beginning. Terrance Pittman was eleven years old when his case landed on Andrea’s desk. His mother was a former addict and his father was absent from his life. He could have easily been written off as one of the kids who fell through the cracks. Lost and forgotten. But Andrea saw something in Terrence that his other caseworkers and teachers did not see. The young man had an amazing eye for beauty. She saw it in the drawings he made. In the picture collages he constructed using old fashion magazines and in his comments about things like light quality. The problem was Terrence was bad at every other subject besides art. Math confused him and he had trouble reading, Andrea suspected a learning disability. And unfortunately Terrence did not have much support at home. His mother had refused to pay for a tutor. But Andrea didn’t want Terrence to be one of the forgotten. So she purchased a used Canon camera for him on his twelfth birthday and he blossomed before her eyes. Although his mother Nora didn’t object she also pursed her lips when Terrence brought the present home. She was even more upset when he focused all his attention on the camera, although his mother worked two jobs she couldn’t afford to keep up with the cost of purchasing and developing film. When Terrence started slipping and getting in trouble again, against her supervisor’s recommendation, Andrea took on the cost herself. Another problem was his sheer size. At twelve years old Terrence already five eleven, towering over the other boys his own age and attracted the attention of older guys. Terrence had never had a father figure and the older boys took him under their wing. He seemed to be doing better but then his mother had a relapse and Terrence was placed in the care of his ailing grandmother. At thirteen years old, he was arrested for dealing crack cocaine on the streets of Houston. The arresting officer was Henry Fraser. When Andrea was notified she immediately went down to the precinct. She recognized Henry Frazier immediately and was relieved. She was sure there was something they could work out. Henry Fraser however, insisted that his hands were tied. He could allow Andrea to speak to Terrence. She wanted him to name his associates so that the police could arrest the boys selling drugs at the schools so he could be released. Terrance refused and Henry Fraser told her that he didn’t expect him to. She didn’t know how, as much as he wish it weren’t so, the code of the streets worked. When Henry told Andrea to go home and forget about it, Andrea went on the defensive.
As she sat in court she gave Henry the once over. Henry Fraser was an impressive specimen, standing at six one and a hundred and twenty pounds. He was handsome and well spoken. When he brought Terrence in he treated the boy with respect as he showed him to his seat. Andrea then felt blindsided when he told the judge that Terrence should remain in juvenile detention until the age of eighteen. Andrea lost it. Andrea was livid and when she took the stand, argued that Terrence was not a lost cause although he had been arrested several times, and rather was a victim of circumstance. The judge did not agree and he remanded him back into the custody of the system until his eighteenth birthday.
Outside of the courthouse Andrea approached Henry for his help. When he said there was nothing he could do, she insisted she would file an appeal even if she had to pay for a lawyer out of her own pockets. Henry had never seen a social worker so invested in one of their cases, if he admitted it to himself, he was impressed. Andrea showed up to the precinct the next day with a box of files. She cornered Henry and demanded he listen to her. She showed him Terrence’s artwork. The next day Henry called in a few favors. Terrence was released a few weeks later with probation. Andrea was grateful. He took it a step further and pulled some strings to get Terrence accepted into an art program at the Smith Institute of Arts. The next time he saw Andrea at a community meeting he took a chance and invited her out to coffee. She accepted. Thirty years later and Terrence Pitman was now the Dean of the art program at the same school Henry helped him get into and still good friends with Andrea.
Over the next few months, Henry helped Andrea with a few of her troubled cases. They were always attracted to one another but it wasn’t love at first sight, after time, respect grew into friendship which grew into love. A friendship, to the surprise of everyone, that turned into something much more. Henry Fraser indeed was Andrea Alexander’s match and one day at McKinney Falls State Park, he got down on one knee and proposed with a ruby ring, Andrea’s favorite gemstone. He had barely gotten the words out before she was screaming yes! Life was perfect. They had a small but beautiful ceremony and Andrea took Henry’s breath away in her simple white gown, her hair entwined with flowers. They purchased a small home with a large yard that Andrea hoped to fill with their children. But Andrea struggled to get pregnant. It seemed so unfair, here she was devoting her life to children and couldn’t have one of her own. Then all their prayers were answered. The pregnancy was difficult and so Andrea was placed on bed rest for the majority of her pregnancy. Despite the obstacles, Henry was overjoyed, insisted that she was having a boy and began calling her belly Henry Junior. Henry had painted the room blue. After the doctor told them it was a girl Henry maintained that Andrea was carrying a Henry. When Henrietta was born Henry fell in love instantly, even if she was a girl he joked. They decided to name her Henrietta, having been called Henry Junior for so long. It wasn’t long before Henry nicknamed her Ettie and the name stuck. In many ways she was his junior. Same big bright smile, with full lips and high cheekbones. Ettie was her father’s pride and joy. Even when Andrea tried but failed to get pregnant again Henry insisted that he was happy with his little family, that all he needed was his two girls. It should have been a charmed life.
They were moving along fine. Then during a particular bad storm season, that caused flooding and several deaths Henry was called into work, all off duty personnel had to help with the emergency. He had to work late that night and was gone for almost twelve hours. No one knew exactly what had happened, whether he was tired or if it was the bad weather conditions but around 4 a.m. the next morning Henry's partner Adrian Copeland knocked on Andrea's door, a solemn expression on his face. Andrea knew immediately and sank to the floor. Six year old Ettie on the other hand was just excited to see Adrian and ran to her friend for a hug. He picked up Ettie and dissolved into tears. Henry Frazier has lost control of his car, hydroplaning and had crashed into a pole. He died immediately the coroner's report stated, Ettie couldn't quite understand but she knew from that moment on her mother was different. Same beautiful smile but one that never quite reached her eyes.
Ettie only had a short time with her father but she remembered every moment fondly. Every night she ran her finger along his picture which was mounted on the mantle for as long as she could remember. It was her way of wishing him a good night. Sometimes she would study it, trace the contours of his face with her finger. Henry Fraser was a very handsome man. His skin was chocolate and smooth. He had full lips that Ettie had inherited, and almond shaped eyes that reminded her of her own. They both had the same smile, her mother used to tell her. Ettie loved to find the similarities between her and her namesake. Physical and otherwise. They both loved grilled cheese sandwiches and drinking milk with pizza. She missed him terribly but it was moments like tonight that she missed him the most.
Ettie sat at her tiny kitchen table with her head in her hands. The letter that lay before her was yet another bill with the severe bold letters of ‘past due’ glaring at her from the top of the page. To her right was a stack of unopened mail that she was sure had similar underlying messages. It had been a terrible day at work and she just couldn’t deal with this on top of everything right now. She knew eventually she would have to face it and open them, but for right now she would place them in the bread box, out of sight and out of mind just for another day. She grabbed some cleanser and paper towels and began wiping down the table. When that was clean she set to work on the dinner dishes. She sighed as she looked at her mother’s plate, she had barely touched her food again. When the dishes were done, she wiped down all the counters and swept the floor. Ettie checked the time on her simple leather watch. She couldn’t believe it was already nine, almost time to get her mother her medicine. She might has well get things prepped she thought to herself. She got up and made her way to the refrigerator and she took out the milk and then put the teapot on.
As she opened the fridge to put the milk back she noticed that supplies were running low and added grocery shopping to her long list of errands for tomorrow. She sighed. She was so much smarter than this. They shouldn’t be living like this, paycheck to paycheck. Ettie touched the small mole near her lip that her mother called her wisdom, rather than beauty mark, something she did as a habit to get inspiration. Her mother always said, use what you have to get what you want but Andrea never meant looks. Her mother had instilled education over beauty in Ettie from a young age. Andrea knew the pitfalls of being a young attractive woman in poverty driven Austin could bring.
It was probably the reason Ettie was so conservative growing up. Why she usually wore her hair in a ponytail, wore modest clothing, and her glasses instead of contacts. She wore little to no makeup. The only problem was that none of these things could hide Ettie’s natural beauty and she did garner a lot of attention from the neighborhood boys much to the chagrin of Andrea. Andrea needn’t have worried however. Ettie was fascinated with learning and books from an early age. She rarely had time for boys and never had a serious boyfriend in high school. She went to prom with a classmate who had asked her at the last moment, shocked by his luck that she had said yes. In fact, the only man Ettie had ever been serious about was George. And she, despite everything, wouldn’t say anything bad about him. He did after all give her the greatest gift of her life. Lily. When she thought of Lily she smiled. Lily always calmed her. Lily was always the real inspiration.
The teakettle whistling broke her out of her thoughts. She went to the cabinet and got out two mugs. This was the time she spent with her mother. Times that she cherished. Andrea had been diagnosed with cancer a little over two years ago. She was currently in remission but the treatments had left her weakened. After preparing two cups of tea she reached into the cabinet to get her mother’s medication. At one time they had fit in the tiny medicine cabinet in the bathroom, now an entire cabinet in the kitchen was devoted to her pills and supplies. Ettie sighed, she didn’t like her mother to see her worry, afraid that she would feel like a burden to her. That was another thing Ettie had inherited from Henry, the ability to keep her emotions in check. She had to remain strong, not just for her mother's sake but for sweet Lily, only ten years old.
On the way to her mother’s room she peeked in on her daughter. Lily was sleeping peacefully, Mr. Jingles, her bear tucked under her arm. She wondered when she would grow out of that phase and the thought saddened her, she wished she could remain her baby forever.
Lily wasn’t planned but she was the best thing that had ever happened to Ettie. Ettie was only eighteen years old when she had met Lily’s father. He was her classmate at college. George William Munro had charmed Ettie with his quick wit and his intelligence. Many men were intimidated by Ettie’s strong and outspoken manner. She was used to it. She had learned from her mother to speak her mind and question anything questionable. But George was not easily daunted. He loved debating her and in truth he was easy to talk to. She loved that they often had opposing views, she a liberal, he a republican. They had spent countless hours studying and talking and discovering things together. And lazy Sundays making love and listening to music. She loved being away for college, an escape from Austin and they had dreams of moving out west together. While George wasn’t her first, he was so unlike the boys back in Austin that Ettie couldn't help but fall in love with him. Sandy brown hair, a wide muscular chest and deep brown eyes. He had the straightest whitest smile she had ever seen accentuated by two perfect dimples. He wore polo shirts and khaki shorts almost every day with his Doc Martens and loved horses. He was also a Southern Baptist whereas Ettie grew up more agnostic. They were an impossible pair but somehow they worked. He liked calling her Henrietta and with him, she didn’t mind it as much. It was the first time that Ettie felt free and she welcomed it. He helped her break out of her shell. With a few borrowed outfits from her best friend and roommate Gina, she wore sexy dresses and makeup on their dates, shocked by the difference in her normally reserved appearance. And George was equally devoted to her. They were happy, despite their differences. She sometimes asked about how his parents would react, him dating a biracial woman but George assured her that they were open minded and progressive. In fact, when she met them that summer they were friendly and welcoming. Her mind was at ease. Sometimes life takes an unexpected turn that's what Ettie kept telling herself. They were on the fast track to success, George was set to graduate with honors and a full scholarship to graduate school. He had already secured a great summer internship at a top tier law firm in San Francisco. Ettie had filed her transfer to Golden Gate University, and planned on moving in with George in an apartment off campus. Everything was perfect and then everything suddenly wasn’t when she had discovered she was pregnant. She was shocked. They had been so careful. At first she thought it was stress from finals. When Gina suggested a pregnancy test, at first she laughed it off but the next morning the two lines on the test was clear. She didn’t tell George right away. She waited until after finals. He didn’t need that stress. He was shocked but supportive. He proposed that night, slipping his class ring onto Ettie’s simple gold necklace because it wouldn’t fit on her finger. They decided to tell their parents at graduation. She would never forget that night. She remembered breaking the news to Andrea. She laughed when she remembered how she was preparing to tell her she was moving. That seemed so easy and trivial in the current circumstances. Andrea had been disappointed of course but she hugged her daughter and told her they would figure it out. An abortion was out of the question of course. And Ettie was shocked and upset when Mrs. Munro insisted on it. She accused Ettie of trying to ruin her son’s life. Ettie reached for George’s hand for support as he loudly told his mother that he planned on marrying Ettie. That's when Mr. Munro spoke up for the first time. To be honest, Ettie had forgotten he was there. She was shocked when Mr. Munro threatened to cut George off but she was even more shocked when George pulled his hand from hers. She ranted, she raved. She begged and she pleaded but he just stared down at his plate. And so that night, heartbroken Ettie moved back home with her mother. George had contacted her once after that, just an apology letter and a check for ten thousand dollars. She never cashed it, instead she ripped it up into tiny pieces like George Munro had ripped her heart up. She knew from mutual friends that he had moved to California as planned and was now married. As much as she struggled, the memory of George’s face when she left him at that table with his parents that night prevented her from asking him for any help. She had asked their mutual friends not to discuss Lily with him and she hoped they respected her decision. In any case, he had not tried to contact them.
Ettie knocked on the door.
“Mom. It’s time to take your pill” she said softly.
Andrea sat up in bed, the effort evident on her face.
“You made tea?” she asked.
“Of course” Ettie said with a smile. Henry’s smile.
*****
The next morning was Saturday. Thank goodness, Ettie thought to herself. It had been a long day yesterday and she wasn’t sure she could handle another eight hours at the office. She made breakfast and while Lily ate pancakes in front of the television with Andrea, Ettie cleaned up. She sat at the small kitchen table with the stack of mail that she knew she couldn’t avoid forever. One in particular caught her eye. It was a heavy eggshell colored envelope embossed in gold. She opened it quickly
“Congratulations” the letter read.
Lily Frazier has been accepted into the Dandridge program at The Castlewood Preparatory Program. We are pleased to inform you that this includes a partial scholarship in the amount of $10,000. The remaining tuition amount of $13,000 will be due prior to the start date of September 19th. The deadline for registration is September 1st. Please find attached a list of all necessary books and materials as well as information on uniforms.
Sincerely Linda Lynn Holbrook - Headmistress.
Ettie was overjoyed. Lily’s scores has granted her spot at one of the most prestigious schools in Austin. She jumped to her feet to go tell Andrea and her little girl when suddenly her heart dropped. Thirteen thousand dollars. Where on earth was she going to come up with that kind of money? She couldn't imagine telling Lily, after all she had gone through studying and that she couldn't go because she couldn't afford the tuition? Lily wanted to be a be a cellist and Castlewood was the best school there was. Ettie stood up from the table and ran the water in the sink, splashing her suddenly hot face. There was no way she was going to make enough money, not even with overtime and not with their bills anyway. Her father’s pension barely covered the mortgage and Andrea’s medication. There was no way she could ask her mother for help. Crestfallen, she decided she would call her good friends Abigail and Gina. She needed advice before she could face telling her daughter that she couldn’t go. Ettie held the letter clutched to her chest. Andrea walked in at that very moment and nervous Ettie shoved the envelope haphazardly back into the bread box.
“What was that?” Andrea asked.
“Nothing important mom,” Ettie replied forcing a smile.
“Hmmm,” Andrea responded. She knew when Ettie was keeping something from her but she also knew her daughter and she knew that she would tell her when she was ready. There was no way that Andrea would check the bread box and they both knew it, although Andrea eyed her daughter curiously.
Later, after lunch and when Lily went outside to play, Ettie found Andrea. She had fallen asleep in her room with the television softly playing again.
“Mom?” she asked timidly at the bedroom door.
“I’m up. What’s wrong Ettie?” Andrea called from her bed and used her remote to turn the TV off.
“Lily got accepted into the school,” Ettie said softly coming to sit beside her mother.
“That’s wonderful news. I knew she would. She’s smart like her mother,” Andrea beamed proudly.
“Mom, she didn’t get a full scholarship,” Ettie said handing over the letter.
Andrea quickly scanned the letter. Her face fell slightly but then she quickly recovered.
“We could raise the money in time,” she started.
“Mom. Thirteen thousand dollars,” Ettie said defeated.
“We’ll sell the house!” Andrea shot back.
“Mother don’t be ridiculous.”
“You could call George. It’s about time he…”
But Ettie cut her off.
“No. I’m not calling him. This has nothing to do with him,” she said adamantly.
“Well, we will figure something out Henrietta. We always do,” Andrea replied determined.
Andrea grabbed her hand and looked her in the eye, nodding. Ettie kissed Andrea on the forehead. When she reached the door, she turned to face her mother with a forced smile.
“I’m going to go start dinner. I’ll let you know when it’s ready.”
Dinner was a quiet affair. Lily could tell something was wrong but she didn’t question it. Afterwards, Ettie cleaned the kitchen while Lily and Andrea went to go watch a movie on DVD. Her mother gave her a pointed look, she knew her mother was telling her to get out and clear her head. Ettie needed to think. She needed some real advice and so she called her best friend Gina. Gina answered on the third ring. She could hear her godson Jordan cooing in the background.
“Gina. It’s me. Can we go out for drinks?” Ettie asked with an audible sigh.
“Oh honey. I don’t think I could find a babysitter on such short notice. Abigail is still at the hospital. Her shift doesn’t end until eleven,” Gina replied.
“It’s okay. Another time,” Ettie said disappointed.
Gina knew her best friend and former college roommate probably better than anyone. She could hear the stress in Ettie’s voice.
“You know you are more than welcome to come over and have a couple glasses of wine though.”
“I’ll be there at seven,” Ettie replied.
*****
“Well, what are you going to do?” Gina asked pouring Ettie another glass of wine.
“What can I do? Without selling a kidney there is no way I can come up with that money,” Ettie said a grimace on her face.
“You can have a yard sale,” Gina said, obviously being sarcastic.
Ettie rolled her eyes. That was one thing she loved about Gina. How so much sarcasm could fit in that tiny body of hers Ettie was clueless. Gina was five one with a petite frame. Ettie towered over her best friend by several inches. What she lacked in size she made up for in her personality. Coming from an Italian background, her olive complexion was a stark contrast to her dark hair which she wore in a flattering bob. She was an attractive woman and alluded sexuality with her pouty lips and the animated way in which she talked. But that was far from her personality. Gina was one of those people who commanded an audience, something Ettie always envied. At only twenty seven, she was the youngest public relations managers for one of the largest telecommunications firms in Texas.
They heard the key turning in the door. Abigail was home. She walked into the living room with a huge smile.
“Ettie! I didn’t know you were coming over” she said hugging her friend.
Abigail was Gina’s partner. They were the perfect balance. Where Gina was petite, Abigail was tall and voluptuous. Gina was extroverted while Abbie was more quiet and reserved. Where Gina was dark, Abbie was fair, pale even, with long wavy blonde hair. But together they brought out the best of one another. And they loved each fiercely, it gave Ettie hope.
“Where’s Jordy?” Abbie asked kissing Gina.
“He’s been asleep for a while,” Gina said smiling at her wife.
“How was your shift?” Ettie asked.
“Long. I could use one of those,” she said pointing at the glass of wine in Ettie’s hand.
Abbie was a RN at Austin General and usually worked long shifts. It was nice to spend time with the pair as they were usually so busy. As the friends talked, Ettie caught her up to her situation. Abbie took a sip of her wine, deep in thought.
“Ettie” she said suddenly. “What about becoming a surrogate?”
Ettie laughed.
“A surrogate?” she replied incredulously.
“No, hear me out. When I got pregnant with Jordan the fertility clinic we worked with also used surrogates.”
“That’s true” Gina piped up. “There are a lot of women who can’t get pregnant naturally. The clinic used a lot of surrogates. They make anywhere from thirty thousand and more plus expenses.”
“You guys can’t be serious,” Ettie said laughing.
“I am dead serious,” Abbie said. “If it wasn’t for in vitro we wouldn’t have Jordan. If you were okay with us using donor sperm why couldn’t you see renting out a womb as an option?”
Ettie sipped her wine, her mind going into overdrive.