Chapter 7
The next two months were confusing for Roy. As he and Ettie got closer, Melissa became more and more distant. The sad part was he had stopped trying to fix it. Every time he tried to talk to her about what was going on she got angry and defensive. She blamed it on work and he started letting her use that excuse. Maybe because as wrong as it was, Ettie and Lily occupied his time.
Ever since the night at the fair Lily was much closer to him. She came to greet him every night when he came home from work with a hug and adventures about her day. Ettie had tried to apologize and stop her but Roy told her that he didn’t mind. In fact, seeing Lily was one of the best parts of his day. He had grown to love her. He tried to push aside the word that kept popping into his mind every time he saw her. Daughter. She wasn’t his, she just started feeling like it. And that was dangerous thinking. He knew the time would come when Ettie would leave, taking Lily with her. He couldn’t force Ettie to allow him in Lily’s life, he didn’t have any right to do so. Still, those moments with Lily were precious to him. Concreted the assurance that he would be a good father and also got him thinking about how wonderful it would be when his own son greeted him. The thought warmed his heart.
Ettie’s thoughts mirrored Roy’s. Sometimes she wondered if she was being fair to Lily. How unfair it was to allow her to bond with Roy when soon, too soon she would be leaving. She wasn’t sure how to explain this to her and wasn’t sure what damage it would do to her daughter. And still she allowed it because when Lily’s face lit up when she was with him it made Ettie happy. Of course she didn’t think the feelings were the same on Roy’s part. He was just being the great man he was, it just came natural for him. And soon he would have his own child and Lily would be forgotten. She knew she couldn’t ask him to include Lily in his life, no matter how much her little girl had grown to love him. No matter how much she was starting to see him as a father figure. It wasn’t his responsibility. Maybe the time had finally come when she should call George and insist he meet Lily. It was apparent now more than ever, that Lily needed that in her life.
*****
“Please Ettie, you don’t have to make dinner. You should have your feet up getting some rest,” Ellen protested.
“Trust me it’s no trouble at all. Besides you got off an hour ago!” Ettie laughed.
“Yes, but normally I make dinner before I leave,” Ellen insisted.
“It’s fine. I’m going stir crazy. I miss my job. If it were up to me, I would have kept working until they kicked me out of the office,” Ettie explained.
“I know exactly how that is,” Ellen smiled. “Last year Mr. Gardner insisted I take a vacation. I spent the whole time volunteering at my church. I don’t look forward to retirement.”
“Oh Ellen. You never have to retire if you don’t want to. Besides you’re family,” Roy said kissing her on her cheek.
“I didn’t hear you come in,” Ettie said smiling at him.
“That smells great. What is it?” Roy asked sitting at the counter.
“This is all Ettie,” Ellen explained.
Ettie took a small spoon and offered a taste to Roy.
“This is my mother’s recipe, chicken and dumplings. I was, well he was,” she said pointing at her belly, “craving it.”
Roy grinned. “My boy has great taste already,” he said.
Ettie beamed.
“Oh Ettie. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” Roy said suddenly.
“What’s that?” Ettie asked.
“It’s almost time for me and Andrea’s scrabble game. Excuse me,” Ellen said heading out the door discreetly.
“Is everything okay?” Ettie asked.
“Everything is great. I wanted to talk about Lily,” Roy said.
“What about Lily? Did she do something wrong?” Ettie asked alarmed.
“No. Not at all. I was just thinking, she told me that even though she loves it here she misses her friends.”
“I didn’t know that. She never mentioned it but I guess it’s a bit lonely here for her,” Ettie said frowning.
“My sister Kate is coming this weekend and she has three kids of her own. I was thinking of inviting Lily’s class to a pool party. ” Roy explained.
“That’s nice of you. But some of her friend’s don’t have transportation to get here and I don’t think I could pick them all up and take them back home,” Ettie said.
“That’s not a problem. I could rent a bus to pick them up.”
“That seems like a lot of trouble,” Ettie replied.
“It’s no trouble at all. I love seeing her happy. I was also thinking we could invite some of the kids from Castlewood. She starts there this fall and it would be nice for her to have some friends already.”
Ettie looked at him, her heart overflowing. He was perfect. He was so thoughtful.
“Roy. That would be amazing. Really. She would love that,” Ettie said gratefully.
“Besides, you can finally get Gina and Abbie up here. You talk so much about them I feel like I know them. It would be nice to finally meet them. Invite whoever you would like,” he added.
The next week was spent planning the party. Everyone was excited to attend, Gina and Abbie were curious as she expected and Lily was bouncing off the walls. She couldn’t wait to show her friends how well she could swim now. Ettie appreciated Roy for what he was doing for Lily. It would be nice for her to meet some new friends at her new school and she was looking forward to it. After all this is what this was all about. Securing Lily’s future.
It was a beautiful day out. Perfect for a pool party. Ellen, Andrea and Ettie had prepared enough food for a small army. Roy, against Ettie’s protests had rented an ice cone maker, popcorn and cotton candy machine,all manned by Ellen’s son Kevin and his girlfriend. He had even rented extra tables and chairs which were scattered at shady spots on the massive lawn. Roy was currently grilling hotdogs and hamburgers. It made her smile to see how at ease he was in this normal role. Around noon guests started to arrive and Ettie hadn’t changed yet so she excused herself to get ready.
When she stepped outside, her eyes instantly found Roy. He gave her a bright smile that gave her butterflies. Embarrassed she looked away, feigning looking for Lily. The bus had gotten to the house at one thirty and Lily had played the perfect hostess. She was a little shy with the kids she didn’t know at first but soon all the fun of swimming and excitement kicked in and they were all having a blast. Even Melissa, who Ettie had to admit sometimes came across as cold, seemed to be having fun. She wore a perfect black bikini with a matching sarong that instantly made Ettie feel fat in her one piece and shorts.
Melissa had invited some of her friends, three couples, and their children, and while the children all interacted, Melissa and her friends stayed isolated at one table sipping cocktails. Ettie felt excluded but she didn’t blame Melissa. After all, their relationship was a complicated one. Andrea and Ellen, who had become fast friends also sat off to the side with Ellen’s husband and one of his friends. Ettie bit her lip to keep from smiling. It was nice to see Andrea having fun and flirting. Ettie always thought that her mother should date and apparently so did Ellen. Andrea looked beautiful in a one piece coral bathing suit that she had gotten for the party. She had left her long hair down and even threw on some lipstick. The man, Lou Chapman was a very handsome retired football coach and he seemed as enchanted with Andrea as she was with him. With so many people around she was surprised to feel lonely but that’s what she felt. The husbands of Melissa’s friends milled around Roy drinking scotch and laughing. None of them beside Roy wore swimming trunks, they wore similar outfits, casual khakis and golf shirts. Ettie kept feeling eyes on her and knew she was the topic of conversation. Finally she was rescued when Gina and Abbie along with a pudgy Jordan wearing the cutest swim trunks and floppy sun hat arrived.
“Ettie,” Gina said hugging her friend.
“Sorry we’re late. Jordy was a little fussy earlier,” she said kissing Ettie on the cheek.
Ettie hugged them and took Jordan in her arms kissing her godson on the top of his head.
“I missed you guys so much,” Ettie said getting teary eyed.
“What is wrong?” Gina asked.
She could always tell when something was wrong with her best friend. She knew her so well.
“Nothing. I’m just happy to see you guys,” Ettie exclaimed.
“Ettie I just saw you last week for lunch and I talk to you almost every day. Is everything okay? Really?” Gina said frowning.
“Yes,” Ettie said waving her off. “Pregnancy hormones.”
Gina gave Abbie a pointed look.
“Here. Let me have him,” Abbie said stretching out her arms to take Jordan. “Let’s go see aunt Andrea and put our toes in the water,” she cooed to him.
“Let’s talk,” Gina said.
“What?” Ettie asked innocently.
“Ettie,” Gina scowled.
“Fine. Fine,” Ettie said pointing to an empty table. “Can we at least grab a drink first?”
They sat at one of the tables under the shade of a tree that was away from everyone else. Ettie had gotten them lemonade and Gina had grabbed some pretzels.
“So tell me what’s going on Ettie,” Gina jumped right in.
“I was just feeling out of place until you arrived. Don’t look now but the woman in the black bikini? That’s Melissa. You’ll meet her later.”
“Out of place how?” Gina questioned, glancing at Melissa.
“She introduced me to her friends but they looked at me like I didn’t exist. Then they all sat in their corner chatting. She didn’t invite me to join them. It’s like I’m the help,” Ettie complained.
Gina took a sip of her drink contemplating her next words.
“Ettie you never really cared about things like that before though. You’ve always been strong willed, intelligent and your own person. Why would you care about being part of the crowd now?” Gina asked.
Ettie looked down, toying with a pretzel.
“I don’t really,” she stated.
“Then what?” Gina asked.
“I just don’t fit in this world,” Ettie said frustrated.
“Ettie. Honey you’re not supposed to. You’re their surrogate and once you give birth you come back to our world.”
Ettie bit her lip.
“Ettie is this about Roy?” Gina questioned.
“No. Of course not,” she said shaking her head.
Gina sighed.
“Look at me Ettie,” she said.
Ettie glanced up, tears in her eyes.
“You fell in love with him didn’t you?” Gina accused.
“No,” she whispered.
“Oh Ettie. I know you so well. You did. Honey you can’t do this. This is not your life. This is their life.”
“I know that,” Ettie protested. “He’s just so...so perfect. And he’s so good with Lily. You should see him. She loves him Gina. He threw this party for her. So she could make friends at her new school. I tried not to. It just happened.”
Gina looked at her friend sadly. It had been so long that Ettie had been interested in anyone. It wasn’t that she didn’t have offers. She was after all stunning. It’s just that she always made Lily her top priority, setting her own happiness aside for her daughter. She was exactly like Andrea in that way. She had wished for Ettie to find happiness, to open her heart to another man. To finally trust someone after George had hurt her so badly. What she didn’t hope for was that her best friend would fall for someone who was so unattainable. It broke her heart.
“Hello. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” a voice suddenly said.
Ettie looked up silent tears streaming down her face.
Roy sank to his knees coming to her level.
“Is everything okay Ettie?’ he asked concerned.
“Yes. I’m fine,” she said giving him a small sad smile. “Roy this is my friend Gina. Gina this is Roy Gardner.”
Roy stuck his hand out and Gina shook it.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked again. “Do you need anything?”
Ettie nodded.
“Gina. I knew it was you from Ettie’s description. She talks about you and your wife often and fondly,” he said flashing a big smile.
“Nice to meet you,” Gina said smiling.
They had a small conversation and Abbie came over with Jordan. Ettie made the introductions and Roy asked to hold Jordy. His face lit up when the laughing baby grabbed his hair.
“He’s beautiful,” Roy said.
Gina watched the entire exchange in silence while Roy, Ettie and Abbie chatted. Ettie had returned to her normal bubbly self but Gina also noticed something that concerned her. Roy kept glancing at Ettie intensely. She could tell he was gauging if Ettie was really okay. Though he kept up an easy conversation with Abbie his eyes never left Ettie’s face for long. Her friend was in trouble. What was really going on between them and if she could so easily see it, could Melissa? After a few minutes he made his apologies, something about burned burgers and headed back.
“Wow, he is gorgeous,” Abbie said when he left.
Gina gave her a look. Abbie understood it to mean change the subject and they’ll talk about it later. Jordan let out a small yawn. Abbie used that moment to excuse herself. He needed feeding before he fell asleep.
Around two a beautiful brunette showed up with three adorable kids and an equally gorgeous husband. They were with Mark, Roy’s younger brother and his girlfriend Allison who Ettie had met only a few times. The brunette headed straight for Roy and hugged him. The kids held back shyly but the man knelt down and said something to them. Lily being the gracious hostess came over and introduced herself. The little girl who looked about her age smiled and took her hand, heading towards the pool. The other two smaller kids followed behind their older sister.
“Who’s the Abercrombie family?” Gina asked.
“That’s Mark, Roy’s brother and that must be Kate. That’s Roy’s sister,” Ettie responded.
At that moment Roy and Kate looked over in Ettie’s direction. She knew there was no way they could have heard her but she flushed in embarrassment anyway.
“Well they are headed this way,” Gina warned.
“Ettie,” Kate proclaimed. “It’s so good to finally meet you,” she said hugging Ettie.
“It’s nice to meet you too,” Ettie beamed.
“I just met your daughter. She is gorgeous. This is my husband Paul,” she said.
Paul and Ettie shook hands.
“This is my best friend Gina,” Ettie said indicating Gina.
“Yes Gina! And Abbie. Roy has spoken of you often,” she gushed.
Roy turned red. Ettie laughed.
“Ettie, what you are doing for my brother it’s an amazing thing. Thank you so much. I know from everything Roy has told me that he couldn’t be happier,” Kate said.
“I’m happy that I could help,” Ettie replied.
They made polite conversation for a few more minutes until Kate announced that she was starving. Ettie liked her right away. She reminded her of Roy and his easy going way. They joined the rest of the party which was in full swing. Mark hugged Ettie and Allison gave her a warm smile. The kids swam and played games.
“Hello Melissa,” Kate said.
“Kate,” Melissa said getting up and hugging her sister-in-law, “so good to see you.”
Ettie couldn’t help but notice that while polite, the women weren’t exactly warm with one another. Kate seemed to know everyone in attendance and greeted everyone before taking a seat at the table. When it was time to eat they sat around the pool munching on hamburgers and hotdogs while the adults all at one table ate barbecue and Ettie’s famous potato salad. Ettie introduced Abbie and Gina and Andrea to everyone else. Ettie was pleased to see Lou hold out a chair for her mother and her mother’s bright smile.
“This is delicious. Henrietta do you cater?” Melissa’s friend Jeannie asked.
“No. I work for the Wilton Foundation,” Ettie replied.
“Really?” Tiffany the skinny blonde asked. “I didn’t realize you had another job.”
“Yes. I don’t make a living renting out my womb,” Ettie said.
“Yes. She’s one of their project managers. Her and I went to college together. She has her Bachelor’s degree in business management,” Gina said, Ettie was never known for holding her tongue and Gina tried to defuse the situation.
“Well that’s just ignorant,” Kate said. Andrea sniggered.
“I was thinking the same thing,” she said, clearly annoyed that this woman had judged her daughter.
Tiffany’s face turned bright red.
“I don’t think she meant it that way,” Melissa said defensively.
Roy and the other guests concentrated on their food, looking horrified.
Jeannie realizing that Tiffany might have offended Ettie, steered the conversation back to the food.
“Really Henrietta. If that doesn’t work out for you, you should definitely go into catering. This potato salad and those baked beans are simply amazing.”
“Yes,” Melanie, the pretty brunette said. “We never really eat barbecue at our barbecues. This food is so charming.”
“Yes, charming. Because potato salad is clearly not normal. This being Texas and all,” Kate announced.
“Kate have you tried the macaroni and cheese? It’s even better than yours. Let’s go get some.” Paul said leading Kate away from the table.
Gina gave Ettie a look. It wasn’t that Melissa and her friends were snobs, because they weren’t, it’s just the fact that they found potato salad charming, ridiculous. By the time Kate and Paul came back the conversation had turned to an upcoming event Melissa was throwing. Kate looked upset but she seemed calmer now. She looked at Ettie, smiled and gave her a wink. Ettie appreciated her standing up for her. She really liked Kate.
The party was finally winding down around seven. The sleepy kids, changed and fed were given cotton candy, popcorn, candy and cupcakes to take home. Ettie laughed when she thought about the angry calls she may get tomorrow. By eight everyone had left and Ettie was cleaning up. Lily was exhausted and Andrea had taken her back to her room. Suddenly she found herself alone with Melissa.
“Oh you don’t have to do that,” Ettie said.
“No I don’t mind helping,” Melissa said grabbing a garbage bag and throwing plates and cups in.
“Thank you,” Ettie said.
They both worked in silence and as Ettie thought about it, her and Melissa had rarely been alone or had many conversations. When she had first embarked on this journey she had thought it would be Melissa and not Roy that she connected with.
“I’m sorry about earlier. They honestly didn’t mean anything by it. We’re not those kind of people,” Melissa stated.
“I didn’t get offended. I realize our situation is complicated. Of course people are going to have questions.”
“Ettie,” Melissa said suddenly, “how are you feeling?”
“I’m doing okay. This baby is kicking all the time now. He must be happy,” Ettie said rubbing her belly.
“Two weeks left,” Melissa said.
“Yes. I’m excited. He’s kicking right now. Do you want to feel?” Ettie asked.
Melissa placed her hand on Ettie’s belly and felt the baby kick. She held her hand in place for quite a while, saying nothing until Ettie became a bit uncomfortable.
‘He’s so active,” Melissa said finally.
“Yes. You’re going to have a handful,” Ettie said smiling.
Melissa smiled back but didn’t reply.
The silence was awkward and Ettie didn’t know what to do. They were almost finished straightening up. The rentals would be returned tomorrow and Ettie stacked the chairs neatly.
“Thank you so much for the party. Lily had a really great time,” Ettie said finally.
“It was no trouble at all. She’s a very sweet little girl,” Melissa said.
With everything done Ettie said goodnight and turned to leave.
“Ettie,” Melissa said suddenly.
“Yes?” Ettie asked.
“How does Lily feel about... You know about you giving up the baby?” she asked.
“I’m not sure that she really realizes what is going to happen. But I’ve explained it and she knows that the baby will be staying here with you and Roy. I explained to her that the baby is yours and not ours,” Ettie stated.
“And...and how do you feel about it? Aren’t you attached to him?” Melissa asked.
Ettie was taken aback. No one had asked her about that so directly before.
“I am attached. But only because he grew inside of me. Melissa, you don’t have to worry. I know what I agreed to. Of course it will be hard but I’m also very happy that I can give this to you and Roy. When I see him with Lily I know he’ll be a great father,” Ettie said.
“And what about me?” Melissa asked. “Do you think I’ll be a great mother?”
“Of course you will,” Ettie replied. “It wasn’t easy for me. It was scary with Lily but things came natural. You’ll be an amazing mother Melissa.”
“Thank you Ettie,” she said softly. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight Melissa,” Ettie said. She wasn’t exactly sure that she meant her words, and immediately felt guilty about it.
*****
The next morning at breakfast, Melissa announced that she had to go into the office for her upcoming event.
“I thought we were having lunch at the club?” Roy asked.
“We just spent the whole day together. Don’t be upset,” Melissa reasoned.
Roy looked at her clenching his jaw but didn’t say anything.
Andrea kicked Ettie under the table. They both got up.
“You don’t have to leave. We aren’t arguing,” Melissa said.
“No, we were finished,” Ettie protested.
Roy looked at their half eaten breakfast and raised an eyebrow at Ettie. She gave him an apologetic look but left anyway.
“You could’ve told me that upstairs,” he said.
“I shouldn’t have to censor myself in my own home,” Melissa said.
“They left because you made them uncomfortable,” Roy argued.
“I wasn’t arguing. You were the one who made them uncomfortable,” Melissa pointed out.
“Is it so wrong to want to spend some alone time with my wife before the baby arrives?” Roy asked dropping his fork.
“Of course not but we had the whole day together yesterday. For your grand party.”
“Alone Melissa. We don’t spend time alone. It’s like you need a buffer to be around me. We haven’t had sex in two months Mel, do you realize that?” Roy asked.
“Is this about sex?” she demanded.
“No, of course it’s not about sex. Have you heard anything I’ve said? This is about us fixing whatever the hell is going on between us.”
“I have to go Roy,” Melissa said softly.
“Go,” Roy said getting up and slamming his plate into the sink with such force that it cracked.
Melissa flinched. Roy didn’t clean it up. He turned on his heels and retreated upstairs. Silent tears streamed down Melissa’s face. She sat with her head in her hands for a few minutes before wiping her face, squaring her shoulders and grabbing her car keys. Roy stood at the window watching her drive away.
About an hour later, Ettie was in the kitchen and was throwing away an empty container of milk when she found the broken plate. She wondered what had happened. She was just leaving when Roy appeared.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi,” she replied.
“Ettie do you want to go with me to lunch?” he asked.
“I really don’t want to go to the club,” she said.
“We don’t have to go to the club. We can go anywhere you want to.”
“But your golf game,” Ettie started.
“I’m not in the mood to play,” he said his voice breaking. “I could use the company.”
Ettie looked in his eyes. She could tell he was hurting. She didn’t like it.
“Of course,” she whispered.
They went to a small deli that Roy liked and Ettie asked Roy to order his favorite for her when she couldn’t decide. For the first time, he broke out in a grin.
“Wait until you taste their Reuben. I’ve been all over the country and not even New York has them beat.”
“I’ve never been to New York,” Ettie replied.
“Really?” Roy said surprised. “Well you have to go. It’s an experience.”
“I’ve never left Texas,” Ettie admitted.
Roy looked at her.
“Ettie how is it that someone as intelligent as you, as well read, never had the opportunity to leave Texas?” he asked incredulously.
“Lily,” she stated simply.
“Well we have to fix that. There’s a whole wide world out there to explore,” Roy said.
“I had plans once to go out west. California. But then I got pregnant with Lily,” she said.
“You never talk about her father.”
“There’s nothing to tell. We were in love, engaged even but his plans didn’t include Lily and I wouldn’t give her up,” she said looking down.
“His loss. She’s an amazing little girl,” Roy replied with feeling.
Ettie looked up and smiled. The way she smiled at him confused Roy. He blinked and looked away. They spent the rest of the time just enjoying their food. They were both unusually quiet but the silence was a comfortable one and Roy appreciated her company. At one point, Ettie had thousand island dressing on her cheek and Roy smiled. It was so cliche but he used his napkin and wiped it off. She blushed and his hand lingered on her cheek. They exchanged a look that Roy recognized but it wasn’t right. He dropped his hand and called the waiter for the check. Ettie was embarrassed. What had he read in her eyes? She spent the ride home looking out the window afraid to look at him. When they got back, Melissa was waiting. In the foyer there were several packed suitcases.