Chapter 5
The next few months went by smoothly. There were a few bouts of morning sickness but nothing Ettie couldn’t handle. There was a sticky moment where she had to explain to Lily about the baby and help her to understand that the baby would not be living with them. Lily, as expected, was very confused. She didn’t want to talk to her mother about it, as she suspected that she still disapproved and Gina and Abbie were no help because she didn’t want to burden them with her problems. One afternoon at one of her appointments she found solace in explaining it to Roy. He understood immediately. He suggested that he meet Lily and explain that the baby was going to live with him and Melissa. Ettie said she would think about it, after all they would be moving there when Lily finished school. Maybe it would help her to understand. As of right now, she was happy that Lily agreed not to tell anyone that she was having a baby brother or sister like she was itching to tell her friends at school. Still it was nice that Roy had offered his help.
The one thing that did aggravate Ettie however was Melissa's insistence that she use Dr. Blue but she was never at any of the appointments after the first. Roy however always showed up and for that Ettie was grateful. She knew Melissa ran her own business and was extremely busy but she wondered how much time she would make for the baby once he or she was born. She dare not voice her concerns to Roy, but it did worry her. The one thing she knew was that Roy would be a devoted father. He asked tons of questions and texted her every day to see if she needed anything. It was appreciated.
Ettie was starting to show. Just a slight bump to her normally flat stomach. Abbie had invited her over to pick up some maternity clothes from when she was pregnant. She arrived around seven and Gina greeted her at the door.
“Hi,” she said hugging her friend. “Ettie you’re simply glowing.”
“As opposed to two weeks ago when I commandeered your bathroom?” Ettie laughed.
“No really. You look beautiful. Can I get you anything?” Gina asked.
“Some tea would be great,” Ettie said gratefully.
“Aha. I knew that already,” Abbie said from the living room. “I have ginger tea and butter cookies waiting for you.”
“You know me so well,” Ettie said sitting down on the couch.
“Ettie, how are you?” Abbie asked her.
“I’m doing fine. I miss you guys,” she replied.
“I can’t believe you’re four months and barely showing. I was already much bigger than you were at this point,” Abbie said.
“You were beautiful,” Gina said kissing the top of her head.
“But seriously Ettie, how are you?” Gina asked.
“Everything is fine. I was a little emotional the other day but really I am glad I’m doing this. Roy has been very supportive. He can’t wait to be a father. We have an appointment tomorrow, we should find out what we’re having. He is so excited,” Ettie explained.
“And what about his wife? Melissa was it?” Gina asked candidly.
“Well Melissa is...” Ettie started. “I don’t really know what Melissa is to be honest. She’s always so busy. She’s never at any of the appointments,” Ettie finished.
“That’s crazy. Gina is the busiest person I know and she was at every single one of my appointments. What’s she like?” Abbie questioned.
“She’s, I mean she seems really nice but at the same time really cold. We haven’t really clicked. I think it must be hard for her that I’m carrying her baby,” Ettie replied, sipping her tea.
“Roy seems nice from all you’ve told us,” Abbie said.
“Oh, he is the best. He’s so smart and funny and handsome and successful. He’s so driven and passionate. And he’s already so in love with his child. He calls me every day to check on me. He’s really great. This kid is lucky to have him,” Ettie gushed.
“He sounds great,” Abbie said.
“Oh he is. He runs his family’s oil business but he does so much good working with environmentalists and donating money into alternate fuel sources. That’s crazy right? Something that could put him out of business but he cares so much about people and the world. And he has this organization that he started that helps underprivileged children with school supplies and summer camps. He’s amazing.”
Gina exchanged glances with Abbie.
“What?” Ettie questioned.
“Nothing,” Gina responded.
“No, I know you Gina. You have something on your mind. I saw that look. Now spill,” Ettie demanded.
“Look Ettie. I know you too. I’ve known you for what seems like forever and I’ve never seen that look on your face. Not even with George. You’re not falling for Roy are you?” Gina asked.
“No of course not,” Ettie protested. But her cheeks flushed with heat. “He’s just a really great person.”
“Just be careful honey,” Gina said quietly. “Don’t take his appreciation for affection.”
“I’m not stupid,” Ettie said defensively.
Suddenly she just wanted to get out of there. She made her excuses, thanked them for the clothes and left. But as she drove off she couldn’t help but replay Gina’s words in her head. No she wasn’t falling for Roy Gardner. The pregnancy was just making her emotional. Still she dreaded her next appointment, something she was looking forward to. She would be sixteen weeks in four days and they might be able to tell the sex of the baby. She sat in her driveway for a few minutes just thinking. Sometimes she did catch Roy looking at her in a certain way. A way that made her feel things she hadn’t in a long time. And he was so easy to talk to. Often they would find themselves talking for hours just walking around after one of her appointments. What she didn’t tell Gina was that sometimes she headed to his side of town, pretending some errand just so they could spend lunch together. Sometimes he called and asked if she had plans and she dropped everything just to see him. These past few months they had been spending a lot of time together. He texted her every morning just to see how she was. She wasn’t imagining any of that was she? But what kind of person did that make her. A horrible one she thought immediately. Her phone ringing startled her.
“Hello?” she said.
“Ettie. Hi it’s Roy.”
Ettie blushed. She was just thinking about him.
“Hello,” she said softly.
“I was just checking on you. How are you feeling today?” he asked.
“Much better. Thank you.”
“Ettie is everything okay,” Roy asked concerned.
“Yes. Why?” she replied.
“Nothing. You just sound...different.”
“I’m just tired,” she answered quickly.
“Oh I’m sorry. I should let you rest,” Roy replied.
“Okay. I’ll see you Thursday,” Ettie said.
“Yes, Melissa and I can’t wait. Dr. Blue said we might be able to tell the sex this time,” Roy said excitedly.
“Oh is Melissa coming? That’s great,” Ettie said forcing enthusiasm in her voice.
“She knows this is an important one. She wouldn’t miss it for anything. Well, get some rest. I’ll check in tomorrow,” Roy said disconnecting the call.
His words had snapped Ettie back to reality. She was having their child. His and Melissa’s. He wasn’t spending time with her for any reason other than that. She was an idiot. And Gina was right. This was all his appreciation for her giving them this gift. She was just letting pregnancy hormones cloud her judgment.
Roy hung up the phone his mind working on overdrive. Ettie had indeed sounded different. He wondered if something was bothering her. It was crazy but in this short time he had grown to know her very well, and he could tell something was on her mind. She was normally reserved but when she was upset she got especially quiet like she did just then. He had grown to care for her deeply. Roy even looked forward to seeing her, to the point that he made excuses for them to see one another. He knew it was wrong and he didn’t dare tell Melissa, afraid that she wouldn’t understand. It was just that Ettie shared his excitement for the growing life inside of her while Melissa was always too busy to be bothered. At first he was hurt by her seeming indifference but Ettie made him feel better about it. He knew that was just Melissa’s way so he overlooked it. He was just glad she was coming to the appointment this week. It was a major milestone. Dr. Blue believed they would be able to tell the sex of the baby. He thought he would want to be surprised but he was itching to buy all the things his child needed, looked forward to decorating the nursery. Roy laughed to himself. He was so mushy these days. He guessed that fatherhood was making him a softie. All he knew was that he wanted to give his baby everything he or she could possibly want.
Melissa got home at around seven that night, and called out to Roy. He had just finished eating the dinner Ellen had prepared and was in the media room relaxing. While CNN played softly in the background, he was catching up with his email.
“In the den Mel,” he called out.
“Hi honey,” she said kissing him on the forehead.
Roy pressed the mute button and laid his tablet aside.
“Hello beautiful,” he said with a smile. ”How was work?”
“Oh you know,” Melissa replied taking a seat next to him. “Busy as always. I have a big event tomorrow, the women's luncheon. I think I told you about it the other night.”
“How is that going?” he asked.
Roy patted his leg and Melissa gladly kicked her heels off and let him give her a foot rub.
“Oh that is wonderful,” she said sighing. “Almost wrapped up. Just some final preparations. I'll be working all day tomorrow. I’ll be prepping early morning”
“Wait, you are coming to the doctors appointment tomorrow aren’t you?” he asked.
“Oh my god! Is that tomorrow?”
“Mel. I reminded you like ten times,” Roy said exasperated.
“What time do you have to be there?” Melissa asked.
“It's at eleven,” he said frowning.
“I can't make that appointment. There's no way anyone else can run the event. I completely forgot,” she replied.
“Are you kidding me Melissa?” Roy said angry now. “This is very important. We find out the sex of the baby tomorrow.”
“Well I'm sorry,” Melissa said a little irritated herself. “I had a lot on my mind. This is a big client for me. If I do well I can secure them every year.”
“Melissa, it's not like we need the money,” Roy said moving her feet and standing up.
“It's not about the money Roy,” Melissa said standing herself. “This is about me and my accomplishments. This is about me feeling like I have a purpose.”
“And what about the baby?” he snapped. “Is the baby not a purpose too? He or she has to come first every single time!”
“Of course. You don't think I know that?” she said. “But my career is important too.”
“It's always your job first Mel. I really need you to be there. I didn't say anything when you missed all of the other appointments but this one. I need you and don't look at me that way. We're supposed to be in this thing together,” he fumed.
“We are in this thing together,” she retorted.
“Well it doesn’t feel that way.”
“So I am a horrible person because I have other priorities?” Melissa questioned, her face flushing red.
“I didn’t say that. Why do you always go there? We discussed this. At length. You said you wanted this and you were supposed to make this a priority too. And it’s not just about us. Ettie is involved. We can’t just change our minds now.”
“I'm sorry I'm not the perfect mother,” Melissa said her arms crossed. “I'm sorry I'm not like Ettie.”
“Don't bring her into this. She has nothing to do with it. This is about us. You do realize that this baby is ours. Not mine and Ettie’s. Yours and mine. And whether you like it or not this baby is on it’s way.”
“How dare you! Obviously I know that. I am on board but I also have a life outside of this child. I’m just not obsessed like you are,” Melissa spat.
“Obsessed? Melissa, I love our baby. If you didn't want this then you should have spoken up.”
“And what disappoint you as usual?” Melissa taunted.
“Don't you do that now. You said you wanted this family just like I did.”
“I do. At least I thought I did. But my career is finally taking off. People are starting to recognize me for myself and not just as Roy Gardner’s wife. And I'm sorry but that's important to me. I want this baby. I do.”
“Are you going to be there tomorrow?” Roy asked softly. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
“I don't know if I can make it,” Melissa said finally.
Roy looked at Melissa in a way that she never saw before. Finally he turned from her and turned the television back on.
“Oh, so I’m just dismissed Roy?” Melissa questioned.
“Have I ever treated you like that Mel? I don't want to discuss it now. I'm just thinking.”
“What are you thinking about?” she said her eyes tearing up.
“I just don't know what you want anymore. You're so distant lately. You don't come home until late. You don't answer my calls. You’re not excited when I talk about the baby, you change the subject every time I bring it up. And now you forget one of the most important appointments. What's really going Mel? It’s not what I’m thinking. What are you thinking?”
“Nothing is going on,” Melissa protested. “I just... I just have a lot going on at work. I’ll figure something out.”
“I hope you can make it there tomorrow,” Roy said staring her in the eyes.
Melissa looked away.
“I'll try my best,” Melissa whispered.
Roy turned his attention back to the television.
*****
Ettie stared at herself in the mirror. The sundress she wore was very flattering, the fabric stretched over the small baby bump which seemed to grow overnight. She wanted to look nice, even though part of her admonished herself for thinking that way. When she got to Dr. Blue’s office she was surprised to see that Roy was alone.
“Hi,” she said beaming at him. “Where’s Melissa?”
“I’m not sure if she can make it,” Roy replied quietly. “Something at work came up.”
Ettie didn’t know what to say so she just nodded.
When they were shown into the examining room Ettie realized her poor choice of attire.
“Ettie you can get undressed and I’ll be in in a moment,” Dr. Blue said smiling as he closed the door.
“Oh. I’ll wait outside too,” Roy said turning red. “Will you ask Dr. Blue to come and tell me what the sex is?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I want you in here,” Ettie said blushing herself. “It’s just an ultrasound. The blanket will take care of, well you know.”
“Okay. Thank you,” Roy said grateful. “I’ll be right back.”
The ultrasound gel was cold and Ettie giggled when the wand was passed across her belly. Roy smiled despite himself.
“Okay. Look here,” Dr. Blue said.
He circled something on the monitor.
“What are we looking at?” Roy asked eagerly.
“That would be a penis Roy,” Dr. Blue said chuckling. “Congratulations. You’re having a boy.”
Roy couldn’t contain his happiness. He jumped up from his seat and kissed Ettie on the cheek laughing. His laugh was contagious and Ettie found herself joining in.
“My son,” he said, his smile touching Ettie’s heart.
As they walked out the doctor’s office, both wide smiles, Roy caught sight of Melissa.
“Mel,” he exclaimed. “You’re here.”
“Am I too late?” Melissa asked.
Suddenly Ettie felt alone. She had to stop these crazy feelings. She watched from the sidelines as Roy hugged Melissa.
“A boy! We’re having a boy,” he exalted.
Ettie smiled shyly at Melissa.
“Congratulations,” she said.
“Mel we have to go shopping. The nursery… sports stuff. Our son,” he said laughing.
“Of course,” Melissa said beaming.
“Let’s go have lunch first. Ettie is starving,” Roy explained.
“Roy I can’t. I barely got away. The luncheon. I have to get back, but maybe Ettie can help you pick out some things after lunch,” Melissa apologized. “Ettie?” she asked.
His smile fell slightly.
“Of course. Yes I can do that. I’m free for the rest of the day,” Ettie said.
Melissa smiled at her gratefully.
“Okay. Thank you Ettie.” He turned to Melissa. “Thanks for coming honey,” he said kissing her.
“I’m sorry I was late,” Melissa said sadly.
“It’s okay. Really. I’ll see you at home.”
They waved to Melissa as she drove off.
“So what are you in the mood for?” Roy asked Ettie.
Later, after chicken burritos and an insane amount of guacamole and chips, Ettie drove with Roy to the nearby shopping mall. They made their way to a high end children’s store. Roy wanted to buy everything he saw. His excitement was infectious and Ettie found herself enjoying picking out things to show him. As they made their way to the furniture section.
“This would be perfect,” Roy said pointing out a beautiful cherrywood crib with matching changing station, dresser, and bassinet.
“Oh,” Ettie said.
“You don’t like it?” Roy questioned.
“It’s not that. It’s gorgeous. I just thought maybe Melissa would want to help you pick that stuff out,” Ettie answered.
“Melissa, well she’s been really busy at work. Trust me she won’t mind. You heard what she said earlier,” Roy responded.
“Okay,” Ettie said slowly. “Well then I think this is perfect.”
Ettie had to stop Roy from buying one of everything in the store. He arranged to have their purchases delivered to his house the following day. By the time they left the mall it was several hours.
“What time is it?” Ettie inquired.
Roy checked his watch.
“It’s almost four,” he said.
“I need to get Lily,” Ettie said frowning. “And start dinner!”
“Okay. I will drive you back to your car,” Roy said.
When they got back to Dr.Blue’s office Roy was suddenly nervous and didn’t know why.
“I had a great time today. Thank you for all of your help Ettie,” he said.
“I had fun. Everything was so small and adorable. It’s been awhile since Lily was that tiny,” she smiled.
On the drive home Ettie thought about the day’s events. She thought about the life growing inside of her and a small pang of sadness hit her. She had always thought she would give Lily siblings. She still had time of course but she realized sadly that this child would be her first son. Not my son, she reminded herself quickly. Melissa and Roy’s son. Still it was a pang deep inside of her. She wondered what the baby would look like. Would he look like Lily? Would he look like her? Although Ettie didn’t regret her decision on becoming a surrogate, she never thought about how attached she would actually become to the child. She had signed her rights away and as sad as she was now, she wondered how bad she would feel when she had to part with her baby. Not my baby she said again but silent tears were already streaming down her cheeks. Not my baby, she repeated over and over in her head for the rest of the way home. It didn’t help that when she got home there was dinner waiting for her, delivery from the local Chinese restaurant. The message was from Roy, saying that she should rest and not worry about dinner. Why did he have to be so perfect?
On the drive home Roy’s thoughts were on Ettie. He had enjoyed the day with her. It was so easy. He had to admit his feelings for her were starting to grow. It confused him. There was a moment earlier, where his hand had brushed hers and there was a moment of electricity. The way she smiled at him, he looked forward to seeing it.
He loved Melissa, of course he did but the way she seemed unconcerned about the baby was off putting. He was getting angry with her every day, trying his best to conceal it. Whenever he brought up the future and the baby she changed the subject. He didn’t know what to make of it. It was driving him crazy. He was so unsure of her feelings lately. And Ettie. Ettie made it easier to deal with. He had to get his feelings in check. He just enjoyed her company that was all. And she would be so angry if knew. She was doing this for him and Melissa. He was confused, about the dynamic with him and Melissa and projecting on Ettie, that was all.
Melissa came home around six to find Roy measuring the office.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Oh you startled me. I didn’t hear you come in,” Roy said surprised.
“Yeah. Long day. So what are you doing?”
“I was measuring the room. I thought this would be a perfect nursery. I got the greatest furniture today.”
“Roy we have three other bedrooms down the hall,” Melissa exclaimed.
“It’s the closest to our bedroom,” Roy explained.
“All of my files are in here,” Melissa protested.
“We can move this stuff to another room. Why are you making this into an issue?” Roy asked annoyed.
“Fine. I don’t care,” Melissa said walking out of the room.
“I know,” Roy whispered as she left.
*****
On Monday Ettie got a call from Roy asking her if she wanted to go to lunch. She hesitated for only a second before agreeing. An hour later, she pulled into the parking lot of a small Italian restaurant they both liked. Roy was already waiting. When she saw him she couldn’t help but break into a wide smile.
“Wow Ettie you’re glowing,” Roy said in greeting.
“No I’m not,” she said waving him off. “My belly has grown over the weekend, see?” she said indicating her growing bump.
“Well I think you’re beautiful,” he said as she sat down.
Ettie blushed. After the waiter took their order Ettie sipped from her water glass trying to avoid looking at him, unsure why she was suddenly nervous. They had lunch so many times before. Maybe it was the way Roy had called her beautiful and the way he looked at her.
“Thanks for coming today. I needed to take the day off,” Roy said suddenly.
“Is everything okay?” Ettie asked.
“Yeah. No. Not really,” Roy sighed.
“What’s wrong?” Ettie asked frowning.
“It’s nothing really. Melissa and I got into an argument. Then this morning, things were a little cold. I don’t mean to burden you with all of this. She was upset about the furniture,” he explained.
“I’m so sorry. I knew we shouldn’t have…” Ettie trailed off.
“No. It’s not about the furniture exactly. It was more about turning the office into the nursery.”
“Oh,” Ettie said surprised.
“I know she’s preoccupied with work but I just... I just want her to be more excited about the changes in our life. More involved,” he said frowning.
“It will be better once the baby is born,” Ettie said, not sure of what to say.
“I really hope so,” Roy said softly.
At that moment their food arrived. The conversation steered away from Melissa and more to the food, then about the baby. They discussed names and Ettie told him about almost being Henry Junior. They had an easy conversation and laughed until Ettie had tears coming out her eyes. After lunch Roy walked Ettie to her car. As they were saying goodbye Ettie suddenly felt the baby move.
“Roy the baby moved,” she said absentmindedly grabbing his hand and placing it on her belly.
As soon as she felt his hand on her, she blushed and dropped it. Roy turned red as well. They said their goodbyes and Ettie left feeling more confused than ever.