Chapter One

"I can’t believe this is the end. You promise you won't forget me? I mean, I will hunt you down and strangle you if you do. You know that, right?" Izzy promised.

I took my best friend in my arms as we both cried on each other's shoulders.

"You already know that I'm not staying there forever. I just need to find a job. You better not get another roommate!"

"I would never. Well, unless some hot ass man decides to stick around for once, then we might need to revisit this conversation."

We both started to giggle as I pulled back and pushed her jokingly away before I pulled her back in.

"I'm going to miss you so much."

"Me too, Shelby. Me too."

A knock on the door snapped us out of our pity party. When I turned to see Canyon in the doorway of my dorm room, I faintly heard Izzy whisper, "Hot damn!" 

I couldn't help but laugh—she's had a crush on my sister's husband since the first day they dropped me off.

Talking out of the side of my mouth, I responded softly, "That's disgusting, and you need a man stat."

"If your sister's willing to share, I'm all in."

"Eeewwww!"

Wearing his trademark smile, Canyon asked, "You ready, kiddo?" Not at all letting on that he heard us, that smile gave him away; I knew it all too well.

Picking up my purse from the bed, I swung it over my shoulder and then spun around to give Izzy one last hug goodbye before I joined Canyon at the door. I refused to look back at her, knowing she would be crying, only making it harder to walk away. She and I had said our goodbyes all morning, but no amount of time would be enough to make the pain of leaving my best friend ease.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"Then let's get you home."

With the truck all packed up, I slammed the tailgate closed then turned and looked back at the university I had called home for the last five years. Wiping the mascara from under my eyes, I took one, long, last look and blew a kiss to the memories I was forced to leave behind me. 

"Don't be so sad, Princess, your life is just starting! You have no idea how excited we all are to have you home."

I couldn't produce words; I simply climbed in the passenger seat and closed the door behind me.

Canyon followed me and started the truck, allowing me some much-needed time to process everything. All of the friends I had made along the way were moving to their career towns or back home, but none of them would be in po-dunk Montana. Don't get me wrong, growing up there was the best thing that could ever have happened to me, but there was nowhere to go from there except be a farmer’s wife or work at the local tavern. I didn't go to college to aspire to nothing.

After thirty minutes or so of quiet, Canyon startled me when he, out of nowhere, blurted out, "Okay, I've given you time, but now you need to start talking. What's wrong? I thought you would be excited to finally come home. I know Gabriel and Amelia can't wait to see you."

In those few choice words, my guilt rose. Leaving those two would rip me to shreds. I thought leaving for college was bad, but even then, I promised the two of them I would be back. How could I break their hearts and tell them it was a lie?

The truck abruptly stopped on the side of the highway when Canyon turned to me.

"All right, you're practically in tears over there. Talk to me. Please, hun. I hate seeing you like this."

Canyon had always been like a father to me since my own went to prison fifteen years before. He was released nine years later on good behavior, we were told, but he never took one step to find me. That was better than okay with us, though. Either Arianna or my mother would have killed him had he tried.

"I'm waiting."

As I looked into his eyes, it was clear he was expecting the worst. I was just afraid what I was about to tell him would confirm his suspicions.

"I'm not staying." I blurted it out as fast as possible, petrified that if I thought about it for one more second it would never happen. 

What came next, I didn't understand how to process. I watched as Canyon put his hand on the gear shift and placed the truck in drive before he slowly pulled back out onto the long stretch of highway ahead of us.

Minutes passed by us without a sound other than my heart beat as it raced from my anxiety. Just when I had finally bucked up the nerve to face him, he spoke. 

"They saw it coming."

He didn't look at me, but it was clear that it pained him to speak those words. I wanted to ask who, but he continued, "Ari always told me you needed to spread your wings and fly. I just didn't want to believe her."

He let out a deep breath, and I knew him well enough to know I needed to give him space. So that's what I did. Turning my head to look out the window as the fields rushed by, I wished for something grand to say, something to make him understand with only a few words. They never came.

It was an hour before we pulled off the highway to get gas. Canyon got out leaving me inside to wallow. I couldn't anymore, though. I hated that I was hurting him, but it was my life, and I deserved to do it my way.

Climbing out the passenger door, I slammed it shut, grabbing his attention. 

"What was your dream? What did you want to do more than anything?"

He put the pump in the truck and then turned to me.

"Marry your sister."

"Before that!" I walked slowly toward him closing the space between us. "You wanted to be the best bull rider this world had ever seen. That was your dream, and we were there to support you. We didn't hold you back with guilt. Arianna begged you to continue—"

"You can scream at me all you want, but you will never understand. It's not that I don't want you to be happy, I just don't want to lose you."

And there it was, the sobering truth. After the accident, the doctors told Canyon he would never ride a bull again. The injuries he sustained to his spinal cord were almost paralyzing. His dreams changed that day, and all he wanted from that point on was a family. He was wrong, though, I did understand. His dream was taken from him but mine wasn't. He was the one who needed to understand.

"You're not going to lose me, Canyon. You will always be one of the best things that ever happened to me. I just need to find my own place in the world. A degree in architecture can't thrive in Montana."

"So the whole state is out of the question? Helena couldn't work for you? You need to move, what, thousands of miles away?"

"San Diego."

"Get it the truck."

He didn't even look at me as he threw the pump back on its holder and walked away from me to go pay. 

"Ugh!"

I did as he demanded but wasn't happy about it, that's for sure. Sitting in the cab waiting for him to come back, I couldn't help but remember a time when he would have supported me doing anything that made me happy. That was so long ago that I am surprised I can still remember it like it was yesterday. Don't let me paint him as a jerk by any means. Canyon would die for any of us before he thought of himself. It's just … Things changed when he finally got to come home from the hospital. He clung to us like we were his only chance at happiness, and that hasn't changed. I knew he was just scared. I was too. But fear can't hold me back from living, and that strength was something I learned from none other than the man himself. 

When we were back on the highway, I expected it to be hours before I would hear his voice, but once again, I was surprised. 

"I'm sorry."

It was barely audible, but I caught it.

Tears welled in my eyes as I turned in my seat to face him.

"I'm not doing this to hurt you."

I watched intently as his hands closed around the steering wheel in fists before they relaxed and he palmed the wheel, stretching his fingers back out.

"I know you aren't. In fact, this is my fault and I know it. If I would have just accepted all along what Camille and Ari saw in you this wouldn't have come as a surprise. You have always been independent. These five years have been preparing me for this, I guess. Damn, I'm sorry. I want you to be happy, Shelby. It's all I have ever wanted for you."

Thank God he caved that quickly. I had been expecting days before he was willing to see any side of this but his.

"I'm not leaving right away. I haven't accepted a job yet."

"Thank the heavens for that! Gabe and Amelia would be devastated."

And there went my happy moment.  

"They will be fine. They're young and resilient to change. Just think about how many times I moved and started over at that age. I will miss the hell out of them too, but Canyon—"

"I know. Adding guilt isn't helping."

"No, it’s not. Please support me on this. I love all of you. It's got nothing to do with that."

"I know that. So, let me change the subject because I can't stay on that one and I'm sure you would be grateful to do the same. Have you any prospects in San Diego? I mean, what's pulling you there, of all places?"

He had no idea how happy he had just made me.

"Well, Izzy will already be there, so there would be no worry of me moving to a strange city and living by myself. Also Chect, Turner, and Cline, is one of the largest architecture firms in the country. I don't know if you remember, but I did my internship through them last year. They are opening a new branch in San Diego, and from what I have been hearing, it looks like I will have my own office very soon."

When he turned to look at me, the only thing I saw in his expression was pride. He was beaming from it.

"I am so damn proud of you, girl. You have always set goals higher than we ever thought you could reach, and you have proved us wrong every time."

He shook his head back and forth still smiling with his cheeks. 

"Thank you. But it's not set in stone yet. It could be weeks before I hear anything."

"Well then, that gives us a few weeks to cherish you then, doesn't it? Besides, Ari has plans for the two of you anyway. I would hate for her to be disappointed right now. A lot is on our plate."

"What do you mean? Is something wrong? She didn't say anything on the phone yesterday when I talked to her."

His smile grew even bigger which I didn't know was possible. 

"No, nothing is wrong. Absolutely nothing is wrong."

He wouldn't elaborate any more on the subject, leaving me curious beyond measure, but it wasn't long before I would find out, and let me tell you, leaving was going to be even harder.