After returning all of Aiden’s gifts, I’ve had enough of his special deliveries. A box from Tiffany’s has no meaning to me. All Aiden has done is show me he’s rich and that he thinks he can buy me. He wants to own me again. Aiden cannot buy me. I let him control me for long enough.

A small part of me wants to believe that I became his submissive to see if I could change a man with his issues. To some extent, our relationship was an experiment gone wrong. Too bad I let my feelings get in the way and cloud my professional judgment.

When I moved out of Aiden’s apartment, I thought he would stop me. But he didn’t even bother. At the very least I expected him to react to me telling him that he was like his father. He didn’t. Instead, Aiden did as I expected. Just as I had fallen into his traps, he fell into mine. I needed to be sure that his therapy was working and that my body wasn’t being bruised and beaten for nothing. And I was right about his therapy being counterproductive. Aiden proved to me that men like him do not change.

Sinking into the chair in my office, I scribble some notes on the notepad in my lap and glance up at my patient. I’ve seen Kenny Sullivan for the past year to help treat his alcohol addiction. He’s been in recovery for over nine months and has made excellent progress with his therapy. If only Aiden were another success case. Not so I could put him in my win column but also so we could take things to the next level.

“You’re doing great, Kenny.”

He smiles. “Thanks, Dr. O’Brien. I’ve been following your advice.”

“I know some days are harder than others. It will be this way for the rest of your life. You will always be an addict. The craving for alcohol will always be there, but I am happy to hear that you turned around when you started driving to the liquor store.”

Kenny scratches the dark stubble on his jaw and looks away from me. “I wish I had enough willpower to stop myself from leaving the house.”

“At least you didn’t go to the store and walk around. You had enough control to say no. I’m proud of you.”

“What should I do if that happens again?”

“I’m afraid you will feel this way for a long time, Kenny. Every time you had a bad day in the past, you would drink. It’s a habit that you need to break. You’re no longer addicted to vodka now that it’s out of your system. Your addiction is in your mind. The brain is very powerful. It can trick you into thinking you need something when you only want it. You see the distinction? Need and want are very different things but many people associate them.”

He nods. “Yes, I understand. I’ll work harder at finding ways to keep myself occupied when this happens again.”

“Do you exercise or have a hobby you could do when you have a bad day and need a release?”

“Yeah, I go to the gym after work a few times a week, and I play around with the old Mustang my dad left me on occasion.”

“You have to replace your old habits with new ones. Maybe find a new favorite drink or a special way to reward yourself.”

“That’s a good idea.”

The buzzer on my cell phone rings, signaling the end of our session. “Well, that’s all the time we have for today, Kenny.” I set the notepad and pen on the table next to me and get up from the chair. “Keep doing what you are doing, and I will see you next week.”

Kenny grabs his jacket from the couch, and I walk him to the door. He thanks me before Brittany calls out to me from behind the front desk. The waiting area is modest, with white walls and the usual mental health pictures on the walls. They say images of flowers and foods are relaxing to people with anxiety.

At first, I wasn’t so sure about the theory until I had a bad day and tested it out for myself. I sat on the leather couch in the waiting room for over an hour, my gaze shifting between the pictures. By the time my hour was up, I was calm and collected, already feeling like myself again. Everything in the office is carefully chosen to help my patients relax. From the rugs to the furniture, all of it was hand selected with that sole purpose in mind.

I come up from behind Brittany and wait for her to finish shuffling through a stack of patient charts. “I have another package for you,” she says, keeping her eyes fixed on the charts. She continues to sort through them and tilts her head forward, motioning to a small box sitting at the edge of her desk. “Do you want to open it before I send it back?”

I lift the black box, about the size of my palm, from the counter and sigh.

Why does Aiden insist on sending me things?

I wish he would tell me how he feels instead. The roses were a step in the right direction until Aiden had to go and send me every expensive item he could find. Why are words and actions so hard for him to comprehend? His upbringing has a lot to do with his behavior, but that doesn’t excuse him for treating me the way he did. I did everything he had asked of me, and what did I get in return? Him?

I tug at the silky gold bow and flip open the top of the box, surprised to find shiny doubloons that reflect under the fluorescent lights overhead.

Brittany cranes her head to get a better look. “What an odd gift. Why would he send you gold coins?”

I shrug. “I don’t know.”

“Are they pirate’s gold? Like the kind they stuff in trunks for Halloween?”

“Yes, but these are a lot heavier.”

She laughs. “They’re probably designer pirate coins.”

At first, I don’t understand the meaning of Aiden’s strange present. Not until I read the card beneath the gold do I realize the coins are the reason for my holdout. Aiden has finally made the gesture I hadn’t known I’d wanted until now.

I cover my mouth with my hand, overcome with emotions as the tears spill down my cheeks. Does he love me? It doesn’t even matter. Pirate, I want to shout, but Brittany will think I am crazy. Aiden used my safeword because he understands that I will no longer play his game. I will not be his property. If we’re going to be anything, it will be equal partners.

Please end this suffering.

His words rattle around in my head for a few seconds. Aiden hurt me, but now he is the one who is in pain. To people on the outside, they would never understand our fucked up relationship. But Aiden’s words, the coins, and the meaning behind them hit me all at once. I have to see him.

I close the lid and clutch the box. “Hold my calls and cancel my afternoon appointments.”

“But you have six patients scheduled.”

“Offer them any other spot on my calendar this week.”

Confusion scrolls across her face. “Where are you going?”

“To see Aiden.”

Brittany nods. “Good luck, Boss Lady.”

I smile so wide my face hurts. “Thanks.”

* * *

One benefit of working two blocks away from Aiden is that the trip to his office only takes me a few minutes. How we have managed to stay away from each other this entire time without calling a true by now is beyond me. It took Aiden long enough, but at least he got it right. The ride up to his office has me on edge with the elevator filled to capacity and my senses on overdrive. I’m not a huge fan of heights or enclosed spaces.

Combine my nerves about seeing Aiden along with my environment, and I have to suck in a deep breath and let it out to keep myself under control. One good thing about being a therapist is that I know how to control anxiety attacks. I help my patients with them all the time. But I hardly ever have to take my advice. Now, I need it more than ever.

After the doors open, I push my way off the elevator, desperate for some air, and speed walk to Aiden’s office. Behind the front counter, I spot Erica, who knows all about my relationship with Aiden. In fact, he tells his secretary far more than I would have imagined. He must have needed someone to talk to more than he thought before he came to see me.

“Dr. O’Brien. Hi, how are you?” Erica’s voice cracks when she speaks. She stares at me, wide-eyed and with a smile on her face. “Dr. Shaw just finished up with a patient.” Erica holds her hand out to the door behind her. “Go right ahead. He will be thrilled to see you.”

I flash a closed mouth smile and thank her before I walk around the desk and stop in front of Aiden’s door. Holding my breath, I turn the knob, and it cracks open.

Why am I so nervous? He was the one who screwed up.

In one swift motion, I enter Aiden’s office and shut and lock the door behind me out of habit. When I turn around, Aiden’s blue eyes are fixed on me, holding me in place. I flatten my back against the door and take in the sight of him, afraid to move forward.

He sucks in a deep breath and lets it out. I watch as his chest rises and falls, too entranced to speak first. Aiden has always had this power over me. Whether I like it or not, he’s still my Dom, and I’m his submissive. A part of him will always own me.

Drawn to him, I find my footing and walk toward him, my palms sweating the closer I get. I hate that he can do this to me. But I crave him and his dominant ways. When I told him I love him, I meant every last part of him, down to the darkest part of his soul. We are more alike than I had ever imagined, but I am still not submissive. I was an imposter, pretending to be what he wanted, though I have to admit that I liked being claimed by Aiden.

I liked when he would tell me what to do and pat me on the ass after I did something he liked. We’re both fucked up. He has an excuse. What is mine? Boredom? Lack of sexual enjoyment before I met Aiden? The jury is still out on my verdict.

“Scarlett,” he says, leaning forward to fold his hands on the desk in front of him.

“Aiden,” I say, my voice almost a whisper.

“Did you get my gift?”

“Which one?” I play dumb. “You have to be more specific.”

“The one you haven’t returned yet. Is that why you’re here? To end this in person?”

I shake my head, coming around to his side of the desk. “No, not even close.”

He turns his chair so that we are facing and reaches out to grasp my hip. “Does this mean you forgive me?”

I nod. “Yes. Do you love me? Did you mean what you wrote?”

“I think so,” he admits, staring up at me.

He rolls his chair closer and opens his legs for me to slide between them so that he can grab both of my hips. Aiden holds me with a purpose, his grip firm and steady, as per the usual.

“What do you mean that you think you love me? You either do, or you don’t. It is that simple.”

He pulls me onto his lap and hooks his arm around me to keep me in place. “I’ve never been in love before. I don’t even know where to begin. What I feel for you has to be love. My stomach hurt just as much as my heart did while you were gone. Without you in my life, it fucking sucked. I need you, Scarlett. I’ve never needed anyone before, but I need you.”

“There’s a difference between need and want, Aiden.” I smile at him, before dipping my head down to brush my lips against his. But I don’t kiss him. Instead, I pull back from his mouth and sit up straight, touching his shoulder to regain my balance. “Do you want me or need me?”

“Both.” He leans his head back against the high back leather chair and sighs. “I know I fucked up. I shouldn’t have taken my anger over your ex out on you.”

“But you did. We can’t change those things now. We have to work on moving forward.”

Aiden runs his hand up my arm and makes his way to my breast. He pinches my nipple through the thin fabric of my dress shirt and gives the tiny bud a good twist. I close my eyes and moan, consumed by the pleasure shooting through my body.

“I missed you,” I hiss.

“I missed you, too, Scar.” He hugs me, while he continues to pinch my nipple between his fingers. “So fucking much.”

“Do you have patients this afternoon?”

“Yes, but I can reschedule,” he says, moving his other hand up my inner thigh.

“Good, because I’m off until tomorrow morning.”

He smiles. “How about we go home and make up for lost times?”

“My bruises just started to go away,” I confess, thinking of the pain and shame I’d felt while we were separated.

“I’ll go easy on you, my love.” He buries his face in my neck and plants soft kisses on my skin.

“I don’t want you to go easy on me.”

His body stills from my words. “You don’t?”

“No, I like it rough, but I want you to take something into consideration before we go home.”

“What is that?”

“You can control my body in the bedroom, but you will never have control over my mind.”

“I know you’re not submissive, Scar. You only did those things because you thought you could heal me.”

“But I liked them. That was the problem. It started out with me following your orders so that I could figure out the best course of treatment for you. Boy was I wrong about that idea. I never expected to like the same sick and twisted shit as you. Never in a million years did I think I would allow you to mark most of my body with your fingerprints, branding me as if I was your property.”

“You were so upset about the bruises the first few times.”

“Yeah, but I got used to them. When we were apart, I would stand in the mirror and take in the sight of my naked body.”

“Why would you do that?”

“So I could make myself come.”

He pinches my nipple tighter. “You dirty girl. Mmm. This I want to see.”

I laugh. “It’s all your fault.”

“I guess I need to make some new marks so I can fuck you over the bathroom sink and let you get off to the sight of yourself.”

I hop off his lap and spin around to face him. “I’m wet, horny, and I miss sleeping next to you. Take me home, Aiden.”

He pushes himself up from the chair and takes my hand, leading me toward the door. “By the time I’m done with you, Scar, you won’t be able to walk straight.”

“I was counting on it,” I say with a wink.

Aiden shoves his hand into his pocket and pulls out our rings. He holds the black tungsten bands in front of me. I have no idea what to say, so I wait for him to speak.

“Now that you’re mine again, I want you to wear your ring,” he says, lifting the thinner band from his palm.

“Can we talk about this for a second? I want to wear this ring, but I have a few conditions.”

He nods. “Okay, what are they?”

“I want you to take me out on dates that don’t end with you fucking me in the bathroom or the car.”

Aiden’s eyebrows rise in confusion. “You expect us to not have sex at all just because we go on a date. That doesn’t even make sense. Isn’t the point of dating for a man to get a woman into his bed afterward?”

I laugh. “Okay, I guess that came out wrong. What I meant to say is that you cannot coerce me into having sex with you in public while we are on our date. I want dinner and a movie, flowers and the whole nine yards. The date will end with sex, that much is a guarantee, but it will not happen until we get home.”

“You’ll wear this ring and move back in with me if I take you out on a few dates.” He shrugs. “Way to drive a hard bargain, Scar.”

I swat him on the arm, frowning

“All I meant was that you could have asked for anything right about now, and I would have given it to you.”

I push my hands onto my hips, staring him down. “You can’t buy me, Aiden.”

A flicker of acknowledgment lights behind his blue eyes. “I know that believe me, I do.”

“And pirate doubloons are not going to work every time you screw up.”

He snorts. “Who says I will fuck up this badly again?”

“It’s bound to happen. We all make mistakes. No one is perfect. And you are still working on your childhood trauma and other issues. That’s the other part of the deal. I want you to continue your treatment with me as your doctor and not your submissive or girlfriend. I thought we were getting somewhere before Mark had to show up here and mess up everything.”

“We were. I need to learn how to control my temper.”

I run my hands down his toned arms. “It will get worse before it gets better. But once we figure out a way for you to heal, your life will change for the good.”

“I will always be dominant in the bedroom, Scar. That part of me is so ingrained in every sexual experience I’ve ever had. I can’t reprogram myself to be someone who makes love to you and strokes your hair while you come. That’s just not me.”

“I don’t want that either, Aiden. I like you just the way you are, as long as you don’t cross the line with me. I’d prefer it if I never have to use my safeword again.”

“I’m sorry about that, Scarlett. I wish I could turn back time and stop myself from taking out my anger on you. You didn’t stop me, even though you knew what I wanted, so part of me rationalized that it was okay to fuck you that hard.”

“It was the first time I had anal sex, and you have a very long and thick cock, Aiden. That should have occurred to you when you rammed it into my ass. We had the conversation about safewords and things I wasn’t ready to try until you eased me into them. Instead of preparing me, you had me stunned to the point that I couldn’t even move. The pain was so unbearable my entire body just went numb. I was still in shock after I left your apartment.”

“Our apartment,” he interjects.

“It’s still yours, Aiden. I just live there with you.”

“Then, I’ll get another one. You can even pick it out. Whatever you want.”

I roll my eyes, annoyed. “What did I just say about buying me?”

“I want you to feel at home wherever we live. It has nothing to do with the money.”

“We’re not quite at the buying a house together stage, so why don’t we live together in your apartment and see how things go.”

“You are not leaving me ever again, Scarlett.”

“Aiden, I am not going anywhere. Get that thought out of your head, okay? I would not be here if I wasn’t ready to take you back. I know everything about you, down to all the dark and scary parts. If I was afraid to be with you, do you think I would tell you to put that ring on my finger?”

He glances down at the bands in his palm and smiles. I hold my hand out for Aiden to slip the thin ring on my finger, once again marking me as his property. And I’m okay with it. I want to be owned and loved and fucked by Aiden. We’re both twisted in our own ways. I’d have to be to love someone like him.

Aiden puts his ring on and gives it a few turns as if he missed the feeling of the metal on his skin. “I have to be different for you, Scarlett. You’re not submissive and yet you do this for me. So, I have to be the man you need. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy and keep you in my life.”

I reach up to touch his cheek. “I love you, Aiden Shaw.”

He grabs my wrist and leans into my hand, planting soft kisses on my skin. “I love you, too, Scarlett. How did you manage to get me to this point? I never thought I could love someone the way I do you.”

“I’m a good doctor.” I smile, and he returns it.

“That you are.”