After my secretary added another emergency patient to my schedule, I barely made it out of the office. This morning had an awful start, so it was no surprise that the afternoon was no better. I was supposed to meet Mark for lunch at our usual Italian restaurant, but he had insisted we meet at a local bistro instead.

The last-minute change of venue and his sudden late-night drinks with his friends could be a coincidence. But I have my doubts. Two years together should give me some hope that things can change between us. I tend to believe the worst in people. Mark deserves more of me than I can give him. I work more than I sleep and obsess over my patients more than I eat.

I glance to the booths on my right and find Mark tucked away in the back by the window. He’s alone and flipping through his cell phone, looking bored. I feel bad for making him wait so much. Anymore, that’s all he does.

I slide onto the bench and drop my purse next to me. “Sorry about the delay. I had patients.”

He holds up his hand, annoyed. “Yeah, I know the drill, Scarlett. Save it for someone who cares.”

Even I know my behavior is destructive and unhealthy for our relationship. When was the last time we had sex or even kissed? Too long to remember.

No one should work as much as I do. That’s why I overlooked the change in Mark’s behavior. He’s been sleeping on the couch, crashing well after midnight, without even coming into our bedroom to give me a kiss goodnight. We have a strained relationship.

His words are like daggers thrust into my heart. “I am sorry, Mark. You don’t have to take that attitude with me.”

“What attitude?” He peeks up from the menu open in front of him, some of his light brown hair covering his hazel eyes. “I’m getting sick of the same routine. You sound like a broken record.”

“You could give me a break,” I say, lifting the menu from the table to flip it open. “My job is hard.”

“Oh, I’m sorry that masonry is not as fancy and sophisticated as being a doctor.”

“I wasn’t saying that to knock you, Mark. It’s the truth. The new treatment facility, combined with my regular patients, hasn’t been easy on me. I have a lot on my plate right now.”

“Me, too,” he hisses.

“How was work?”

“Hard,” he spits back with anger in his tone.

I hate when he gets like this with me. Mark never went to college and barely made it through high school. He has never accepted that I love him for the man he is and not the man he thinks I want him to be. Hell, I don’t even know what kind of man I want. Mark stumbled into me one day at the gas station, offering to help me with the jammed pump, and we have been together almost every day since.

“How was your morning?”

“A pain in my ass,” he says.

Mark still has his eyes on the menu, refusing to look up at me. My chest aches from the weight Mark adds to my growing list of bullshit. As if I need any more stress, he has to pile more onto my plate.

“I won’t be home until after two tonight.” He sets the menu down and glances out the window, staring off into the parking lot. “Don’t wait up for me.”

“No, Mark that is not okay. You keep doing this. We need to talk about us.”

He laughs. “Us? When was the last time we were an us? All you care about is your job and yourself.”

I reach across the table to touch his hand.

He recoils. “Scarlett, don’t even bother.”

“Why did you agree to meet me for lunch then?”

“Because I was hungry,” he deadpans, his eyes finally meeting mine. “And it’s lunchtime.”

“And I’m paying,” I add.

He shrugs. “Pretty much.”

A pretty red-haired waitress comes up to our table, with pen and pad in her hand, smiling down at Mark.

He returns her smile, the first one I’ve seen on his face in a long time. Fucker. We both know this relationship is over, yet neither of us will say it aloud. A small part of me doesn’t want to start over with someone else. Mark has been my support system for a long time. Not anymore, though.

“What can I get you?” The waitress asks, looking at Mark.

He licks his lips without even realizing he’s doing it. Asshole. Why don’t I have the strength to end things now? I should, but that would mean splitting up our things and finding another apartment. I don’t have time for a fight or a new move.

Scanning the long list, I find a burger for us to order and then slap Mark on the arm with the menu.

“Hey,” he says, grinding his teeth together. By the look in his eyes and expression on his face, he knows why I hit him. Men stare at beautiful women, and our waitress makes it hard not to, but he doesn’t need to do it in front of me.

“We’ll both have a cheeseburger cooked medium well and two Coke’s. Can we also have a side of Ranch dressing for the fries?”

She nods and scribbles our order onto her notepad. “Sure thing. Coming right up.”

After she disappears into the crowd and toward the kitchen, I scoot along the bench and get up, using the edge of the table for support.

“Where are you going?”

“As if you would care,” I say, irritated.

He doesn’t say a word, giving me my answer.

Desperate for an escape, I want nothing more than to splash water on my face and get some air. I can’t think anymore when Mark is around.

As I push into the restroom door, the person standing behind it falls into the wall, trying to shut me out. Giving the door a good tap with my hip, I put my shoulder into it and barge into the bathroom.

Why is a man in the ladies room?

He grabs his shoulder and turns to face me. “What the fuck?”

I recognize his voice before I get a good look at his face. Aiden Shaw.

“What the fuck is right,” I hiss, slamming the door behind me.

He lets out a frustrated sigh. Once our eyes meet, my gaze travels from a woman wearing a skimpy dress that leaves nothing to the imagination to Aiden. My teeth clench in anger. I walked away from one asshole only to land into another.

“Aiden, why am I not surprised to see you here with a woman? It’s like college all over again.”

He laughs at my remark, though I don’t find it the least bit funny. “Because you know me too well.”

After all these years, Aiden still has the same sex addiction I wanted him to kick. And the same sex appeal. My God, he looks good, even in such a compromising position. He could never hide from me. I never had an issue seeing Aiden’s sexual cravings, despite how well he hid them.

A long time ago, we could have been more. Sharing the same airspace as Aiden hurts me, like a punch in the gut, when I think about the offer he had turned down. He denied my help and lost me in the process. Back then, I’d wanted him so bad. I thought we shared the same feelings and that my love could change him.

I point my finger at him, a chunk of blonde hair falling on my face. Before I can get out another word, Aiden interrupts my train of thought.

He turns to the girl next to him and says, “You should go.”

“But…” The young woman’s words die off in her throat. She glances at me, deflated, and back to Aiden.

Dismissing her with the wave of his hand, Aiden keeps his focus on me. The girl exits without another word. I thought she would protest.

I try to separate my feelings for Aiden and fail. He made his choice years ago, so why do I want to throw myself at him? The chemistry I had with Aiden, although never sexual, was nothing like the lackluster feelings I have for Mark.

I cornered Aiden with my proposition, hitting him with too much information at once. He needed time to process his addiction. But I never gave him a chance. Still, he let me walk away. What an idiot.

I never thought I would see him again. After years of debating if I should contact him, I find him at what I imagine is one of his lowest points. How we’d managed to not run into each other at psychology functions had always amazed me.

“Scarlett,” he whispers.

I’m still in disbelief that Aiden is here. He was the last person I had expected to see today. My stomach tightens along with the rest of my insides, tugging at my heart. But I can’t allow him the satisfaction of knowing how much I like seeing him again.

I throw my hands on my hips, scanning his handsome face. He still has the same angular jaw, high cheekbones, perfect teeth, and a wicked smirk that he reserved for me. So many times, I had wanted to smack it off his face. Now is one of them.

“I wish I could say it’s nice to see you, but I’m not so sure about that. You still have a problem I see.”

“As I told you five years ago, I don’t have a problem.”

“You do.” I reach into my purse to retrieve a business card and hand it to him. “If you ever want help with your addiction, give me a call.”

“How about I buy you dinner first,” he counters, moving closer to me.

I back away from him, still holding his gaze, and pull the handle to open the door. “Make an appointment. You need professional help, Aiden.”

Before he can respond, I slip through the opening and into the crowded restaurant. He will never call. But it doesn’t hurt to extend a professional courtesy to my old friend and colleague, no matter how much pain it causes me to see him this way.

When I get back to the table, I sit down, still out of breath.

Mark sips his soda through the straw. “You’re as white as a sheet. Why do you look like you’ve just seen a ghost?”

“Because I did,” I whisper, unable to speak.

Mark doesn’t prod me, and I don’t offer more information. We sit in silence for the rest of our lunch. After seeing Aiden, I need time to process, so that suits me just fine.

* * *

Later that night, I fall asleep on the couch, only to wake up when Mark comes tumbling through the front door. He makes so much noise that the sound of him banging pots in the kitchen gives me an instant migraine. The more he does to annoy me, the more I want to end this relationship. Maybe it’s time.

With shaky hands, I stumble into the kitchen to find Mark fixing himself soup and a sandwich.

“Would you be careful?” I say, watching him almost burn his hand on the stove.

He spins around to meet my gaze and rolls his eyes at me. “Yes, Mom.”

“You know, Mark, I have had about all I can take of this shit.” I inch closer to him and get a whiff of beer and perfume. The scent drives me crazy. “Were you out with a woman?”

“I went to a strip club with Tom and Carter.”

He turns around to work on his sandwich, most of which he drops on the floor. I want to punch him in the back of the head for being such an asshole. I was working when we weren’t together, not off screwing someone else.

“Let me get this straight.” I come up to his side and take the turkey sandwich from his hand. He reaches for it, and I throw it into the trashcan, just to piss him off. “You can afford to shove dollars into a strippers G-string, but you can’t pay for your lunch?”

He smirks. “I did more than give them a tip.”

“Fuck you! I fucking hate you.” I smack him in the arm and don’t stop hitting him until he grabs both of my wrists and pushes me against the kitchen table.

“Stop being such a cunt, and leave me the fuck alone, Scarlett.” He breathes beer in my face, leaving some spit on my cheek. “You haven’t cared about me for months, so don’t act like you do now.”

“I was working, Mark. That’s more than I can say about what you have been doing behind my back. You smell like a cheap hooker. Did you touch any of the women?”

He releases his grip on me and walks away. “You’re not allowed to touch the girls.” With his back turned to me, he continues, “But I did anyway.”

“You make me sick,” I spit back, my body trembling from the anger that rushes through me.

“This one stripper had dime-sized nipples, the perfect shade of pink, just like yours.” He slurs his words. “You don’t let me play with yours anymore, so I played with hers instead. She didn’t taste like you, though.”

“I don’t want to hear another fucking word, you stupid fuck. I’ve had enough of you.”

“Is this what it takes for you to pay attention to me, Scarlett? I have to cheat on you with a goddamn stripper. That’s fucking pathetic.”

“No, you’re the one who is pathetic, Mark. You could never handle that I have a better job than you, or that I’m more educated than you.”

“Well, you never let me forget it, now did you? I had to hear about your treatment program and the clinic every day.” He moves toward me and stops only inches from me. “You know why I liked you when we first met?”

“Do I even want to know the answer?”

“It was because you were smart and confident. You knew what you wanted. But I had no idea that you would make our entire lives about you. All you ever cared about is your career. I supported you for a long time, but you never gave me anything in return. So, excuse me if I wanted to have a good time and try to remember what it was like to touch a woman. It’s been so fucking long since we had sex I can’t even remember how it feels to be inside you anymore.”

With my ass still pressed against the table, I have nowhere to run when he slides between my legs, pinning my hands down with both of his. I do my best to wiggle free from his grasp and fail. He only fights me, his fingers digging into my skin.

“Mark, stop it.”

“I know you like it rough, baby,” he whispers against the shell of my ear. “Let me fuck you one last time.”

“No,” I whimper, struggling to get out from under him. “We are done, Mark. This relationship is over. I can’t do this with you anymore.”

He laughs. “I knew it.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Knew what?”

Mark lets go of me and takes a step back, his eyes traveling over my bare thighs in my pink pajama shorts. “I’ve been waiting for you to say it for a while now.”

“Well, you haven’t left me much choice. You don’t even talk to me anymore, and now you went out and cheated on me with a stripper.”

He shakes his head and opens the refrigerator, his back to me as he looks through the contents. “I only said those things to force the words out of you.”

I inch toward him, afraid to get too close. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I went to a strip club, but I didn’t touch any of the girls. I didn’t even get a lap dance. I just wanted to see how you would react. I meant what I said about fucking you because I do miss being with you.”

“Then, why have you been so distant the past few months? Why did you stop caring?”

“I never stopped caring. I just gave up.”

I peek up at him and sigh. “You know we are not good together, right?”

He’s gorgeous in the kind of way that he doesn’t even have to try. I had a good man in my life and let him slip away, all because of my work. But we never made sense together. We never fit the way I do with Aiden.

Mark slides his hand through his hair and grips a chunk of it, frustrated. “Yeah, I know, but that doesn’t mean I want to lose you.”

“You only like the idea of me, Mark. When it comes down to it, you were never really that interested me, and I was never that invested in you.”

“What about the apartment?” He looks down at the floor before his hazel eyes find mine once more.

“We can live here until we find something better.”

“I’d like to stay here. The rent is decent for the area.”

I nod. “I can get another place, maybe one that’s closer to my office. But I have to stay here until I find something else.”

“Take as long as you need.”

“I understand if you hook up with other girls before I move out, but please don’t bring them home while I am still living here. Just because we are no longer together doesn’t mean I will stop caring about you.”

He brings his hand up to my cheek, and I lean into his touch. “You take the bedroom, and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“We have another bedroom,” I point out.

He removes his hand from my face and shrugs. “I like the couch.”

“Good because I like sleeping in bed.”

“Another reason we’re not compatible,” he deadpans with a smile on his face.

We never had much in common, other than I needed help pumping gas two years ago, and he was there to come to my rescue. Somehow, we made it work this long, though I have often wondered how. I would talk about current events over breakfast. Mark would go into detail about the baseball game the night before. That was our relationship. We were like two ships sailing in the same water, trying to avoid crashing into each other.

“I’ll try to find a new place within the month.”

He flashes a closed-mouth smile and then turns around to make another sandwich, acting as if nothing happened. His actions only reaffirm my decision. We were never good together. Our relationship was more about convenience than love.