CHAPTER SIX
HOPE
I start to come to, my mind in a constant world of nothing. I don’t have the power to open my eyes, to move my body, I feel so tired and I don’t seem to be able to move. My limbs are too weak, my mind is too weak, and my body just wants to give into the mind-numbing pain. My brain beats a constant thumping rhythm against my skull and I can’t get rid of the taste of vomit from the back of my throat.
What’s wrong with me?
Why can’t I move my body, open my eyes?
Why can’t I remember anything?
I don’t know if I want to be sick or not as I take in some deep breaths and try to calm myself, but my nose takes in a horrible smell.
Is that damp I can smell or urine? I don’t know, and I still don’t have the strength to look up and open my eyes to take a look around at where I am.
Where am I?
Why can’t I remember what happened before this?
What was the last thing I can remember? But the longer I try the more my head aches and the less anything comes to me. I try to open my heavy eyes again and this time I can sense that something is covering them, keeping me in this heavy sea of blackness. I try to move my arms but as I do I notice they are firmly tied together behind my back. I try to move them again but the sharp teeth of a plastic tie bites into both my wrists until I can feel my skin break from the pressure and blood begins to pool at what I’m sure is a deep wound.
What’s going on? I try to scream out, get someone’s attention, but my voice is muffled by something in between my lips.
Who’s done this to me?
Why am I here?
Why am I tied, blindfolded? Why? My whole body aches and as I try to move myself I notice I’m on the floor, the concrete unforgiving and as cold as ice to my sensitive bones. Every part of my body seems to be an ever-ending flow of pain, I can’t seem to find out where it even starts.
My head. My chest. My limbs that feel like they have become dislocated from my middle. With my sense of sight taken from me I try to use my others, but where ever I am it is as silent as the night and the only thing I can smell is definitely the stench of urine. There seems to be nothing but this world of blackness to help me even start to understand what is going on. I stay on my bed of concrete for what feels like hours, just trying to clear the fog that covers my brain and remember what I was doing earlier that day or whenever it was.
It could have been a day, it could have been a week and I just don’t know.
Why can’t I remember? It could be a completely new day for all I know. It’s the not knowing that is driving me crazy, I wish my hands were free so I could at least move some, but I have no idea where and why I am here.
Has someone taken me?
Oh God, what if that’s what has happened to me?
Oh my God. The sickness I have been feeling since I came to begins to take on a new lease of life and becomes stronger as it brews in the back of my throat. The cover around my eyes becomes damp as it soaks up the tears that try to fall when I think of what is going to happen to me. Oh God. No, this all must be wrong, I’m in a dream, this can’t be happening to me and as quickly as those thoughts enter my head they are removed again when a little voice says no. This is all real, Hope, and you’ve done it to yourself. You’ve done it to your parents because you were foolish and stupid. My parents were right. As much as I might have wanted to make my own path and be worthy of working at the family business I’m still a Bryant. People love our family but there are others that hate us too. Oh God maybe I have walked right into a trap, but I was with Mark, wasn’t I?
We were in our little apartment, weren’t we? Oh God, why can’t I remember? Maybe if I try and sleep I’ll wake up in my bed, maybe, just maybe, I am right and this really is all a bad dream.
Oh God, I really hope that this is all a dream. That I’ll wake up.
****
I must have been able to drift off to sleep because all of a sudden, I’m being woken by a clanking noise not too far away from where I’m still lying.
It wasn’t a dream. I’m still here and I’m still tied and blindfolded on the cold floor. I can hear heavy footsteps not too close to where I am. I shiver as the footsteps get closer and the air turns into an arctic storm around me. This person, whoever they are, means to bring me harm.
Oh God, what have I done?
Why am I here? It wasn’t a dream, this is really happening and as my mind fills with those thoughts the feeling of sickness takes my body hostage again. All of a sudden, I feel a closeness, and this gives me anything but comfort, instead all I feel is danger as it dances all around me. I feel a warm breath on my shoulder and it rises up my neck to the side of my face that doesn’t lie on the unforgiving concrete. A nose rubs along my own and I can feel the catch of breath as the person just lingers there above me, I feel the weight of them trying to crush me. Warm fingers weave themselves through my hair before getting to the end and taking a firm grip, replacing fingertips with hands. Clumps of my hair are pulled into big hands before he starts to twist his hands through the strands toward my scalp, forcing me up on my knees.
“Even pathetic you’re beautiful.” He whispers in my ear. His voice is low but before the last word is spoken I know who it is. Fresh tears fall from my eyes only to be absorbed by my blindfold as the man I don’t know becomes clearer in my head.
Mark? It’s my Mark, this has to be a bad joke.
“M...M.Mark?” I try to say, forgetting that I have something between my lips. There’s hope trying to gain its strength in the back of my mind with just the thought of Mark being here, but he just stays where he is.
My throat is dry and sore and all I can feel is the hurt in the back of my throat as my memory begins to come back.
He met me from work.
We went out for dinner and he was so strange, he wasn’t himself.
We went back the wrong way.
We were followed.
Oh God. He pulls my hair again, forcing my head to come back so much I am sure I can feel my back against it. Why is he doing this?
Does he still love me?
I thought he did love me.
Was I too young?
Was I too foolish? Mark starts to whimper in my ear just before he licks along my jaw. Only a few days ago I would have loved for him to have done this to me, but this person cannot be the Mark I fell in love with. This man is a stranger, my Mark wouldn’t do this to me. I don’t know this man who is currently invading my space and I try to turn my head away from him but his grip in my hair is so tight he has me imprisoned in his hold.
“Mark. Mark.” He says between fake tears.
Not Mark. Not the Mark I love. No. No. His pull tightens and I’m sure my poor head can’t be pulled back anymore but I seem to be mistaken. Pain rips through my neck as my head feels like it’s splitting open and all I can do is cry behind my bonds.
“Ooohoooh oh poor little Hope Bryant.” He stops for a moment and I can hear him take my scent in with a disgusted sound in the back of his throat and I just want to be sick. To think this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but this can’t be him. My Mark wouldn’t do this I’m sure of it, but I have no idea who this imposter can be. I want to be sick but with this thing in my throat I’ll choke and so I try to fight it as his nose moves up and down my face, his tongue poking out every now and then, threatening to take a lick of my skin.
“What is happening, Hope?”
I just moan in answer and I can hear him fight back a laugh. He’s enjoying this. I loved him, I loved Mark and I thought he loved me. How could I ever think this could all be true, not the Mark I know. How could the man I love do this? But I’d know his voice anywhere and he’s here with me. How wrong could I be?
“That’s not important, my love. What’s important now is what’s going to happen.” I try to say something, but it just comes out distorted. I don’t know what he wants me to say. I don’t know what he wants me to do.
“Do you want to say something my love? Shall we remove this nasty thing?”
A finger slips between the material and my lips, taking it away and down my chin to rest loosely around my neck. He slowly removes the blindfold next and I blink as my skin becomes free from the restrictions. There’s not much light but what there is, my eyes are too sensitive after spending so long in the darkness. I blink a few more times and slowly try to focus on what is going on around me. Mark is by the side of me, my Mark, it’s really him. The warm eyes I thought I loved now seem so cold and distant, did I even know him at all? He’s wearing the shirt I have always loved to see him in, the one that matches his eyes perfectly. To a stranger he would look like an angel, his blue eyes and blond hair speak of an angel but underneath the blue orbs I see a new light. All I can see is hatred and pain. I’m no lover to this man, I’m a stranger, he’s a stranger.
We’re in a small room but it’s not really a room it’s more like a dungeon from what I can tell. A small door has been left open bringing with it a tiny ray of light that glistens against the many shackles that line the walls. There are so many of them, all shapes and sizes hanging from the walls along with other things - I have no idea what they are but they all say the same thing. They speak of their use for pain and I swallow the bile that wants to erupt from within my throat. I feel Mark’s eyes watch me as I take everything in, just trying to remain calm. He can’t hurt me unless I allow him to.
I won’t let him.
“Are you looking at all my new toys?”
“T...T...T..Toys.” I can barely get the word out of my dry mouth as I look up at him and see the look in his eyes that turns my blood to ice.
“T...T...T..Toys.” He mocks, holding eye contact with me.
“Yes, my toys, and I can’t wait to use them on you.” His hand still has a firm grip of my hair but his other one starts to graze my chest as his fingers slowly tiptoe up my neck and around my chin before his whole hand lands gently on the side of my face. I feel his breath again as he leans his face too close for comfort.
“W...W..What do you mean?”
“That doesn’t matter for the moment, but do you know what does?” He raises his eyebrows in question.
“Why are you doing this, Mark?” I say, trying to fight the tears that I want to shed for the broken heart Mark has shredded into pieces. The man I loved. The man I love is doing this to me, but I don’t know why. Why would he want to do this to me?
“So many questions, my love.” He rubs my head against his chest and then holds me there where I can feel his heart beating like he’s a normal person.
“But right now, we have to let Mommy and Daddy know that you’re here when my father is ready to tell them.”
“W..W..Wh..What do you mean?” The face of doom is staring me down and I have nowhere to look except straight inside the eye of the hurricane.
“It’s ok, Hope, I’m not going to hurt you.” He removes me from his chest, so I’m forced to look at him again.
“Yet. But Mommy and Daddy need to know you’re with me don’t you think? So they don’t worry about you. Don’t want them worrying about their little girl, do we?”
He moves his hand from my face and reaches behind him and quickly brings it back around and in his grasp, is a long knife. Oh God, what does he want to do with that? I feel my eyes move from Mark to the knife back to Mark again as my brain keeps coming up with different answers.
“What should I do with this do you think?” He asks in a sinister voice. He’s enjoying the worry that I’m sure swims across my eyes.
“You said you wouldn’t hurt me” I say. My head has a mind of its own as it races from side to side.
“I did, didn’t I. But I also said yet. I wouldn’t hurt you yet.”
Before I know what’s happening he’s pulling my hair so tight I’m sure he’s trying to rip each strand from their follicles and then he brings the knife up over his head and brings it down, slicing through my hair in one go. With the release from the swipe my whole body crashes forward and without my arms to stop me I fall on my face with a loud crunch. He takes some more hair and I can feel the release again as he slices the knife through, getting too close to my scalp. I lie still as my face throbs with intensity and my knees hurt from being on them for so long. I don’t have time to think about what has just happened as Mark’s hands land on my shoulders. I feel the brush of my hair against my neck as he forces me up and into the arms of another man who takes me against him, his arms holding mine against his stomach with too much strength. My eyes feel so heavy again and all I want to do is shut them from this world that seems to be my new reality. This can’t be happening, if I close my eyes maybe I will finally wake up from this nightmare but deep down I know that won’t happen. Tears start to fall for the love I’ve lost, the betrayal. What are his plans for me? I want to be sick, as so many things try to take centre stage in my mind.
Will he hurt me?
Beat me up?
Will he kill me?
Sell me? I feel sick at the thought of the last two and I try to swallow it down but it just gets stuck in the back of my throat, constricting my airways.
I can’t breathe and as I start to struggle I can feel the panic try to set in my mind.
“Open your eyes my love.” I hear Mark whisper in my ear again as a finger forces my face up. I open them slowly and I see his handsome face staring back me, his free hand holding the remains of my long hair falling in waves down his arms.
My beautiful hair.
My hair, it’s all gone. I try to move my hands to touch my head, but I can’t. Mark laughs as he pulls his arm up and then takes a big sniff of my hair looking at me the whole time as if waiting for me to say something. He wants me to do something so that he has the perfect excuse to hurt me. He lets my face go when he knows I won’t fight back but I hope my eyes show my defiance. I want to show him that my love for him has long gone, along with his betrayal.
“What do you want from me Mark?”
“It will all come my love. It will all come.”
He holds up a big envelope and pushes my loose hair inside. He begins to walk back towards me and as he does he picks up the knife again from the floor. The man that holds me tightens his grip as Mark continues to walk towards me moving the knife from side to side as if it were a toy.
What’s he going to do with it now? I want to feel my hair. I want to know how much of my hair is left, my beautiful hair. My neck feels cold, so I can only assume that there isn’t a lot left.
“No more clothes.” He says now that he is in front of me and then he uses the knife to tear off all my clothes with another swipe. I feel the tip as it gets too close to my skin. It’s not enough to draw blood, but that doesn’t seem to matter as he takes away my last defence. My clothes fall from my body to land in a pool at my feet, he works closely to remove my panties and I watch with disgust as he brings them to his nose and breathes in my smell and then puts them in his pocket.
“I think I’ll save those for later.” Oh God and I can hear him and the other man both laugh.
Mark picks up a few pieces of my clothing and adds them to the envelope and then starts doing something else. I can’t see what he’s doing but it seems to hold his attention. It doesn’t take too long because he is quickly walking back with his hands behind his back.
“If you’re a good girl I promise to untie your arms.”
“I need clothes, Mark.”
“No clothes allowed my love. Boss’s orders I’m afraid.” His eyes move to the man behind me and his grip on me tightens even more. I don’t think I could get away even if I tried to, the guy is too strong.
“What do you want Mark? I want to go home. I want to go home now.”
“That’s not an option. You’re mine and I plan to have lots of fun.”
“I loved you.”
“I know, that was the whole point, my love.” He brings around one arm and starts to point at me with one long finger.
“I do have one piece of clothing for you.”
He brings around his other arm just as the beast behind me keeps hold of me with only one arm, the other taking my chin and forcing my neck back against him. I try to fight but he’s too strong and as I do I can see Mark’s holding something. What is that? It’s leather and cold looking, a thick clasp is at one end and on the other one there is a lock. My breathing hardens as he stretches it open and reaches it towards my neck. Oh God it’s a collar, he wants to collar me. I start to thrash around within the arms of the man behind me, but nothing seems to help as all of a sudden I feel the coldness entrap my neck and then the lock click as all the air escapes my body and I slacken within my captor’s arms. I hear the rattle of a chain and the click as metal and metal clank together in an unforgiving sound that echoes all around me. I’m let go and once again I fall to the floor just as the cold side of the knife brushes my arms and I feel the sudden relief in my arms. I feel them both above me watching me with their sinister eyes and I then decide to go for it. The door is still open and on all fours, I attempt to move away from them and closer to the door.
“Where are you going my love?” He says, and he doesn’t move, just stares at my back as I try to move with my tired body.
I get a little closer to the door and then I feel the collar on my neck hold me back, suffocating me as it inflicts its deadly hold on my neck. I slowly turn around and I can see the chain that follows me from its position on the wall to one of the loops around my neck. I use my hands to confirm what I’m seeing, and the chain is attached to the collar, I try to get my fingers in between my neck and it, and pull with all my might. I want to get it off. I want to go home. Mark and his friend just laugh at me as they step over me and through the door before closing it with a loud bang and encasing me in blackness once again.