Chapter 5

Amanda

My day was full, and I didn’t even have a job. This wedding had taken up my entire life, and I was starting to think that I had stumbled into a career change. Then I realized how much I hated being a part of the wedding world and brought myself back to reality. That morning, I was doing a bunch of stuff for the wedding since Lindsey wasn’t able to make it to the meeting with the planner. It wasn’t too bad, though, since I had gotten Lindsey’s choices for things ahead of time. I perused through the selections that the vendors had laid out in the planner’s office, trying to find what Lindsey wanted. Today, we were finalizing the flowers and the centerpieces which was super important to the whole theme.

“This one is perfect,” I said, standing in front of the tall, tiered candelabras with flowers and lights swirling around the shimmering platinum. “The other one just didn’t seem to fit.”

“Great,” the planner said, noting it in her book. “Then, that’s it for the day.”

“Perfect,” I said, looking at my watch. “I have plans for lunch.”

“Please have Lindsey call me,” the planner said. “I need to know if she is happy with the menu choice for the rehearsal dinner. The soon-to-be in-laws picked it, of course, but they wanted her approval.”

“I will tell her,” I said, smiling.

I left the planner’s office and headed over to the deli a couple blocks down. I had called in a to-go order and had to pick it up on the way to meet Lindsey. She was on a shoot that day and would be shooting well into the night. I agreed to grab her lunch so she wouldn’t have to eat from the cart again. She told me that she was going to puke if she ate another blueberry muffin for lunch.

When I got to the shoot, they directed me over to Lindsey’s trailer where she was waiting at the door. She closed the door behind me and plopped down on the couch. I pulled the food out and handed her the chicken salad she requested.

“You’re a lifesaver,” she said, sticking a piece of chicken in her mouth. “I swear they are trying to starve me to death.”

“You are a model,” I said, shrugging. “Just tell them what you want.”

“I wish it worked that way.” She laughed. “I’m the work horse for the brand, not the star. The ridiculous clothes are the star of the show. I’m pretty sure that this fashion week in New York is going to be a paisley nightmare.”

I laughed, almost choking on my sandwich. I thought about the quiet joke that Nathan and I had when it came to paisley. It was like everywhere I turned, the universe was showing me signs that I was supposed to be with him. It was starting to get a little strange.

Lindsey looked at me curiously and handed me a napkin. “How are you and Nathan?”

Immediately, my cheeks felt warm, and I knew that I was blushing hardcore from my forehead to my neck. I tried to control it, but I couldn’t help it. Even just thinking about his name gave me butterflies in my stomach. It was like I was a love-struck teenager all over again, and though normally I would roll my eyes at that sort of thing, I was enjoying every second of it. It was in those moments that I understood the haze that Lindsey had been walking around in for the last couple of years. The feeling of electricity in my chest hadn’t left me since I met Nathan, and I knew that had to mean something. I was fighting myself on it, and that was only natural after what I had been through with my ex, but I was starting to see myself lowering my guard and completely letting the idea of Nathan into my life.

“Wow, look at that reaction.” Lindsey giggled. “I don’t think I have ever seen you in that shade of red before.”

“The butterflies are everywhere.” I sighed. “I can’t even hear his name without getting warm in the face.”

“It sounds like you may have already fallen in love with this guy,” she said.

“I mean, I can’t lie to you; I think that I might have,” I said, realizing it at that moment. “It’s crazy, I know, but my emotions aren’t letting me feel any other way. I’ve tried to keep that wall up, to be cautious and think about everything before I do it, but when I am with him, it all goes out the window. When he kissed me the other night, I swear I thought my legs were going to melt right out from under me.”

“That is so awesome,” Lindsey said. Her phone rang, and she reached for it. “Oh, dammit. It’s my sister. Sorry, give me just a second.”

I nodded my head and stood up, walking to the other side of the trailer. She was the last person I needed to think about at a time like this. She had slept with my boyfriend, and even after knowing I had caught him numerous times before. I couldn’t blame her for the fact that I had forgiven him like an idiot every single time. I was in love and blind to the fact that once he cheated, he would always cheat. I didn’t even know if five was the total count, but that was how many I had actually caught him red-handed with. He was the reason I hadn’t dated anyone before I met Nathan. He left a really bad taste in my mouth when it came to men, and I never wanted to think about him again.

I had forgiven most of the girls, knowing that none of them knew that he was in a relationship when he met them, but not Sarah. Sarah was Lindsey’s little sister and someone who had spent many hours around all of us. She knew perfectly well that he was with me, and the worst part of it all was the fact that she didn’t really have any interest in him. She just did it to make me mad. I didn’t know what her problem with me was, but she had hated me for a long time and even worse now that I stood between her and her sister.

As Lindsey talked to her sister, I did my best to block out the whole conversation and tried hard not to look upset.

I had known Sarah since she was born, and when we were younger, she would hang out with me and Lindsey, trying to fit in with the older girls. As time went by, she grew into her own person and always seemed to resent me in some ways. I tried hard to be part of her life, but after she slept with my ex, I wrote her off. I couldn’t stand to even hear that she was on the phone, and although I knew it was petty to hold grudges and she’d probably done me a favor since I broke up with him after that, I still didn’t want to be anywhere near her. I knew that I would never be able to forgive her for what she did, and I knew that even if I ever could, I would never trust her again.

One of the parts of the wedding that I wasn’t looking forward to was the fact that Sarah was going to be there. However, knowing how important everything was to Lindsey, I was going to handle everything after the wedding, if at all. I would never do anything to ruin Lindsey’s big day, and even though they had their differences and she had betrayed me, Lindsey still loved her little sister. I couldn’t put Lindsey down for that—she was her family—but that didn’t mean that I had to be anywhere near her during the event. Instead, my attention was going to be on the wedding and on Nathan, who I now realized was going to be there with me. I hadn’t thought about that fact until right then. Turned out, I didn’t need to bring a date after all. He was already going to be in attendance. I hoped he hadn’t already asked someone to come with him. That could get awkward fast.

“I know Sarah,” Lindsey said with a sigh. “It will all be fine. Just call Mom and Dad. They will take care of it for you. I have to go. I have to get back to work. I love you, sissy. I’ll see you soon.”

Lindsey hung up the phone, and I turned back around, walking over and sitting down. I acted like there was nothing wrong, just that I was giving her privacy on her phone call. She sighed and put the phone back on the table.

“I’m sorry about that,” she said. “I know that had to have been terrible timing.”

“Leave it to Sarah to interrupt a good moment with a man.” I chuckled. “But it’s not your fault. She’s your sister.”

“Yeah,” she said, looking down at her chicken salad. “So, when do you think you will be opening your clinic for children?”

“Honestly, I haven’t even started planning yet,” I said shamefully. “I know I need to start planning soon because my inheritance from my grandparents will only last me a few more years. I don’t know what my problem is. I can’t seem to wrap my head around putting my dreams down on paper.”

“You’re the therapist. You tell me.” Lindsey chuckled. “Maybe you’re afraid to grow up.”

“I’m not Peter Pan.” I laughed. “I think deep down I’m afraid to fail. I know what it’s like to lose a parent, and these kids will be relying on me to pull them out of that. It’s a big deal, you know? It’s a lot of responsibility, and I want to make sure that I’m ready for it.”

“Your phone is ringing,” she said, looking down at it buzzing on the table.

“Hello?” I said, answering without looking at the screen.

“Hey there,” Nathan said, making me blush.

“Oh, hi,” I said excitedly. “How are you?”

“I’m good. How are you?”

“Good, just eating lunch with Lindsey,” I said.

“Do you guys ever do anything other than eat lunch?”

“Yeah, we plan weddings,” I joked. “What’s up?”

“My company is throwing a party on Saturday night, and I wanted to know if you would be my date?”

“Wow,” I said. “What kind of party?”

“It’s a release to the shareholders,” he said. “We are presenting the new project in its finality.”

“I would love to,” I said happily.

“Awesome,” he said. “I will pick you up at seven then.”

“I will be ready,” I said. “Oh, how formal is this event?”

“It is black tie, my sweets,” he said with a smile in his voice.

“Alright, great,” I replied, feeling a bit of dread. “I’ll see you then.”

I hung up the phone and looked at Lindsey. She smiled and shoved lettuce into her mouth. I laughed and shook my head.

“That was Nathan,” I said. “I’m going to be his date at the party on Saturday.”

“Oh, wow,” she replied with a full mouth. “That’s a big deal.”

“I know,” I said, standing up and grabbing my bag. “It’s a huge deal, and it’s black tie.”

“Well, you better go get a dress,” she said. “I’ll call you later. Send me pictures.”

“I’m on it,” I said, walking out of the trailer.

I wanted to knock him off his feet.