I looked at the number in my phone. There was no name with the number, but I knew who it reached. That night outside the coffeehouse, after Foster played his set, his eyes all over me, his hands flirting to do the same, after I showed some serious self-control to ease away, my consolation prize was his number. He asked me for my number so he could text me. I had that text message open and just stared.

I knew I couldn’t taste the kiss anymore, but I kept licking my lips, hoping there was something left over. There wasn’t.

I had learned enough lessons when it came to Foster, which was why I walked away. No matter his size, how good he looked, the fact that he had captured the audience of people with his guitar and words, I had to fight him away. From the time he kissed me on my porch up until the other night, every time he swept into my life, he would cruise right back out. And it was always in style. Confessing something big to me. Or telling me something terrible about his father. Or possibly being involved with someone while still claiming to be in love with me. Forever leaving my feelings in the balance.

Jerk, much?

Yet I couldn’t stop looking at the number. I couldn’t stop wanting to text him. To call him. To meet up with him again and talk. Talking to Foster was so calming. For a guy that lived in what always seemed like a dangerous tornado, being near him was calm. We would get that calmness for only so long until it exploded.

The thing now though… we weren’t kids. We weren’t teenagers. We weren’t freshly able to buy a drink at a bar, thinking we owned the world. We were older than that. I had a life. I had a career. He had… the ability to survive.

I swallowed hard.

“You look lost,” Molly said as she stood at my open office door.

I quickly turned the screen off on my phone. “Just thinking. Way too much.”

“That’s a problem. Thinking leads to overthinking. Overthinking leads to missing the obvious. The obvious is always right in front of you.”

I smiled. “You should get that on a poster. Or maybe write a book with all your sayings. You could be a famous author. Pass out coffee on a book tour. Really cash in.”

“See,” Molly said. “This is why I love you, Rose. You’re a genius. Come for a walk.”

It was a pleasure to put my hands to the paperwork on my desk and stand up. I shook away a piece of paper that stuck to the palm of my hand. Yet another subtle reminder of what the idea of Foster did to me. Making my palms sweat just by looking at his number.

“I want you to try a new breakfast blend we’ve been working on,” Molly said. “Everyone seems to like it. But I value your opinion the most.”

“You want me to taste it so I can sell it.”

“Exactly.”

The office was bustling today. Bambi and Kelly were rushing around. We had a couple of interns thanks to connections Molly had at the local college. And our hired out team of graphic designers were there, working on a few things I wanted done to present to Molly. Sometimes, it was amazing to step back and breathe it all in. Not just the smell of the coffee either, but the idea that the company was growing.

When I sipped the new breakfast blend, it was very smooth, almost boring, but then came a little bitterness to the tongue. Just enough to remind me it was coffee.

“Smooth,” I said. “I like it.”

“So what happened when you went outside the other night?” Molly asked. She shut the door and locked it.

I put the small tasting coffee cup down. “You didn’t want me to taste this.”

“No. We’re selling it whether you like it or not.”

“Molly, it’s complicated.”

“Sure it is. Hot guy on the stage is playing songs written about you. You two disappear. You come back all flustered. We never saw him again.”

“I killed him and hid the body,” I said.

“I like that story, but what’s the truth?”

“There is no truth. Foster and I go way back. I didn’t plan on the songs getting to me the way they did. That’s all.”

“You two… you know… in the past?” Molly raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” I said. “We had our moments.”

“Damn. I’m jealous. I love that rough grunge look on a man. Jeans that are ripped because they are worn out, not bought like that. Flannel sleeves rolled up, showing off muscular forearms. Tattoos… tell me he has tattoos…”

“He has tattoos.”

“Damn. How many?”

I smirked. “I’ll never tell, Molly.”

Molly fanned herself. “You should be on top of that. I mean that. Literally.”

I laughed. “It’s not that simple.”

“Yes it is. There’s a guy. There’s a girl. There’s a spark. Then they fu-”

“Can we get back to work?” I asked.

“Yeah. Sure. Work. How’s the breakfast blend?”

“I said it was good.”

“Good,” Molly said. “I’d like to offer it up in the next few months. So find a way to sell it. Lots of it. Pretend your job depends on it.”

“Does my job depend on it?”

“No,” Molly said with a snort.

“That’s good,” I said. “Because you can’t afford…”

My phone started to ring and buzz. My mind instantly changed gears to Foster. I scrambled for my phone in an obvious fumbling, foolish way, like a giggling high school girl because her crush was calling her.

It wasn’t Foster calling me.

It was my sister, Vivian.

When I answered the phone - she was crying.

* * *

“I have to go,” I said as I ran toward the door.

“What’s wrong?” Molly asked.

“My father,” I said. “He’s been rushed to the ER. He collapsed at work. His heart…”

My voice cracked.

I had held it together, listening to Vivian crying on the other end of the line.

I told her to stay put in the hair salon and breathe. I didn’t want her driving if she was in total hysterics… so I needed her to calm down first.

My hands were shaking as though I had sampled too much of the breakfast blend.

Molly hurried to open the door. “What can I do to help?”

I looked at her. “I… I just have to go. I have to get to the hospital.”

“I’ll go with you,” Molly said. “I’ll drive you.”

“No. I’m fine.”

I started to run through the large, open office. The voices were a muffled chatter as my pulse throbbed inside my head. I didn’t know why they’d called Vivian instead of me. I was closer. But she was older. The guys at the garage probably used my father’s phone. He and Vivian were probably texting each other or something.

I got to my desk and couldn’t find my keys.

Precious seconds started to tick away. I couldn’t stop thinking about the obvious stuff. My father. His heart. Ambulance. Hospital. Not sure…

I slammed a hand to the desk and swiped away a bunch of papers. I hurried around to the other side and kicked my chair out of the way. I ripped open my drawer and found the keys. I grabbed them, and when I lifted my hand, I threw them into the air by accident. I dove forward and smashed my leg against the corner of the desk, a hot pain shooting through my leg. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground, on my hands and knees, my keys a foot away.

That’s when I started to cry.

A second later, a hand touched my back. “Rose, listen to me.” It was Molly. “I’m going to drive you to the hospital. I’m here. Come on, let me help you up and let’s get out of here.”

I looked at Molly. I felt like my chest was being sat on. I couldn’t help but shake. I hated the feeling, but couldn’t fight it off at the moment.

“Vivian,” I whispered. “I need to get her.”

“Where is she?”

“At the salon…”

“I’ll have Bambi or Kelly get her, okay?”

“Okay.”

I slowly stood up and let Molly lead the way. I clutched my phone and my keys tightly. At the last second, I tossed my keys behind my back to my desk. But I kept my phone close.

When I got into Molly’s car, I took a few deep breaths to ready myself. There was nobody I could call for help or for an update. I just needed to get to the hospital. Someone would bring Vivian to the hospital. She then texted me and said she was already driving. So that idea got scratched. I didn’t like her driving being so scared. I texted her back saying things were going to be okay. Which was a total lie. I wasn’t a fortune teller. I couldn’t predict the future.

Everything is going to be okay…

Someone had once whispered that into my ear. Right before he was forced to leave me again.

That’s what I wanted. No, it’s what I needed. I needed someone to comfort me. I needed someone to lie to me even. I needed someone to tell me it was going to be okay.

Yeah, I had Molly next to me. She could say all that to me. But it wouldn’t mean a thing.

I turned my head and felt my thumbs slide across the screen of my phone.

I knew who I wanted. I knew who I needed.

I knew my heart would get messed up again.