They wanted to head back to Jess’s place to write some music. I drove because she and Megan were not able to do so. My mind was not there though. I couldn’t stop thinking about Rose. Thinking about how beautiful she looked. The way she aged was amazing. Each year brought out more of a womanly figure, hiding all those girlish features that used to make my heart race when I was a boy. As a man I appreciated every little curve on her body. My hands itched to touch and explore. The only way I could calm myself was to play guitar.

I sat on the edge of a chair and strummed chords while Jess and Megan drank like fishes and tried to write lyrics. Half the time they couldn’t write a single letter, let alone a line of lyrics. That was one thing I never messed with. Drinking and writing songs. Yeah, I would get drunk and write songs. But I would never get so drunk I couldn’t write. At that point, you just wasted a chance to create something important.

The night screeched to a halt when Jess punched a bottle of vodka by accident and sent it over the table, spilling all over their notebook.

“Look, it matches the song,” Jess squealed and laughed.

Megan laughed with her.

I was the one who had to hurry and clean up the mess. I threw a towel to the table and let it soak up the vodka.

Jess grabbed for my jeans, on her knees before me.

“Let me, let me, let me,” she whispered. “I want a snack.”

I glanced over at Megan. She sat on the couch with an eyebrow raised.

I gritted my teeth and sucked in a breath.

I knew where this could have gone.

Instead, I swatted away Jess’s advance on me and picked up the vodka soaked towel. I walked it to the kitchen and threw it there with force.

What I needed was a fucking drink. No, ten drinks. I should have just started pounding whiskey and let my judgment slip away. Then I could have taken Jess and Megan to bed. If anything, maybe it would have made things so awkward that Jess and I would split up.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Jess’s slurred voice said from behind me.

My pocket vibrated with a text message.

I ignored Jess and hurried to get my phone.

It was the text message I had been hoping for all night. The reason why I hadn’t touched a sip of booze.

Hey. This is weird but I need a ride home. Can you help?

I clutched my phone tight.

I spun around. I looked from the kitchen and saw that Megan had already put her head down on the couch. That meant she was about to pass out.

Good.

I looked at Jess. She was a fucking mess. Her makeup smeared on her face. Her eyes barely open, small slits, her blue eyeshadow even more visible for some reason. Her hair a sloppy mess, matching the way she could barely stand. As though she were in a hurricane, trying to find balance.

This was what I had let it all become.

“You need to stop drinking,” I said to her.

“Let’s go to bed then,” she said.

“Jess, no. Not tonight.”

“Huh?”

“Jess, I have to get out of here. For good.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

Except it sounded like this - waharutalkinout?

I stepped toward her. I touched her face. “I’m sorry, Jess. This is all bullshit. You and me together. It’s not real.”

“I love you, Foster.”

“No you don’t. You love the idea of me being around. I’m convenient. And you’re the same to me. But it’s not meant to be. We’re not supposed to be together.”

“Foster…”

“Jess, stop. I’m telling you something. I don’t love you. I never will. You don’t love me. You think you do.”

She backed up until she hit the kitchen table. She started to blink fast.

“I’m sorry to do it like this,” I said. “I’m an asshole. I know I am. You have Megan here though. So just be with her. We can talk again, maybe tomorrow. But this… us… it’s not there. It’s not real. You need to work on yourself. I need to figure my shit out too.”

“So that’s it then?” she asked. “We go from drinking to wanting to fool around to breaking up?”

“Jess, I didn’t drink. I didn’t want to fool around. You did. And, yes, we’re breaking up.”

“You’re right,” she said. “You’re an asshole, Foster.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

I wasted no time in escaping out of there. I typed a message back to Rose as I hurried to my truck. There was no turning back now. I promised Rose I wouldn’t put her in a position to get herself in trouble. Yeah, I broke up with Jess so I could go be with Rose. Was that an asshole move? Absolutely. But it was Rose. My Rose. My Slug. The only girl I ever loved. The only woman I ever loved.

I couldn’t and wouldn't waste a night to be with her.

I couldn’t and wouldn't waste my life without her.

* * *

We drove in silence for a few minutes. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she played with her hands. She was nervous. She should be nervous. Because this wasn’t a ride home. I was parking this fucking truck and I was going to make sure she remembered my body as I explored hers.

My head raced like my heart did. I was more than ready, already harder than I had been in a long time. I told myself to calm the fuck down. I would never do anything to hurt Rose. At least in that way.

“I take it your sister found some eye candy?” I asked.

“That’s Viv,” she said. “No big deal.”

“Right.”

“You know, she said something about you being there with…”

“Look, Rose, I know what I said to you. It just slipped out of my mouth.”

“But it’s kind of important though,” Rose said. “I mean, you dropped two bombs on me, Foster. You love me? You’re with someone else? How does that work? Now you’re driving me home.”

“To be fair, you asked for a ride,” I said.

“I know, but…”

“I wasn’t going to let you put yourself into a position to get hurt,” I said. “Last thing I need is some asshole to take you home.”

“Isn’t that what’s happening right now?” Rose asked with a smile.

Oh, that fucking smile of hers.

I was all man, everywhere. I took pride in my height, the width of my shoulders, the ability to handle myself in a bar fight. But when Rose smiled, my toes curled. Like some little punk, she made my fucking toes curl.

“You’re funny, Rose.”

“Foster, I don’t know if I should have text you,” she said. “I mean, you’re… and I’m… I can’t do that…”

“Just give me the directions, Rose,” I said.

I gritted my teeth and had a tight grip on the wheel. She pointed where to go and I eventually stopped at a tan apartment building.

“You live here alone?” I asked.

“I have roommates. Too expensive to be on my own.”

“Okay. Just making sure you’re not alone.”

“Well, tonight I am,” she said. “They’re not home.”

I glanced at her. The temptation running rampant.

“Thanks for the ride,” she said.

She opened the door.

I reached for her.

“Rose, wait. It can’t just be this.”

She wiggled away and slipped out of the truck. “I’m not that kind of woman. You’re with someone else, Foster. Sorry.”

She shut the door.

I turned my truck off and jumped out and ran after her. I met her at the front of the truck and blocked her way. She stopped and gasped, putting her hands up as though I were an attacker.

“Rose,” I said.

She shook her head.

I grabbed her by the waist and turned her, putting her against the front of my truck. Her eyes went wide as I went for a kiss. Our lips touched and she turned her head. I chased her and kissed her again.

Rose clutched my shirt. “Foster. What the fuck…”

I kissed her again, stealing her words.

She pushed at me and I eased myself back.

We stared at each other, silence between us.

Rose jumped at me.

I caught her and stepped forward, pressing her against the truck again. We kissed. Our mouths opening, Rose exhaling as my tongue caressed her tongue. I turned my head and kissed her deeper. She groaned into my mouth, sending vibrations through my entire body. My hips bucked at her, demanding her. I had been doing nothing but settling without her and now she was in my arms once again.

My hands started to slide around to her ass and she caught my wrists. Her nails dug at me and she started to push me away again.

“No,” she managed to growl, turning her head.

My mouth wasn’t done yet though. I went for her neck, like some cliché vampire, thirsting for her blood.

My lips barely touched her and she shrugged her shoulder, blocking me.

Rose lifted her left leg and gave me a nudge between my legs.

I grunted and stepped back.

“Rose…”

“No way,” she said. “No fucking way.” She slipped around me. “We’ve done crazy stuff, Foster, but I’m not doing this.”

I grinned as I watched the expression on her face. Feeling suddenly guilty, hating herself a little, but always wanting more.

“You’re still the same asshole,” Rose snapped.

She turned and hurried toward the door.

I followed her, through the door and up to the second floor landing. She opened another door and went to the second door on the left. Fumbling for her keys, her hand shaking, she jammed the key into the lock.

I put my hand to her wrist and she jumped.

“Go away, Foster.”

“No.”

“You don’t get to do this to me,” she said. “Just walk up to me and say what you said.”

“I said it because I’d never said it before,” I said. “I remember the night when we were listening to the rain. I didn’t want to say something and mess up your life. Even now, you’re doing good, Rose. I’m not. How is it fair to drag you down?”

“Drag me down? Look what you’re doing right now. You have a…a whatever at home. And you’re here.”

I moved my hand from her wrist to her face. “I have nothing, Rose. I ended it.”

“What?”

“I ended it.”

“You were just at a bar with her…”

“And I took her home because I needed to break it off with her. Because for as long as I’ve been with her, my heart didn’t race half as fast as it did the second I saw you.”

Rose slowly turned the key and unlocked the door. “That’s the truth?”

“I swear on it. So whatever you think you were doing out there, you weren’t. It’s just us, Rose. You. Me. Tonight.”

She opened the apartment door. “I fucking hate you, Foster. So much.”

“I know you do, Rose. Now, am I coming inside or what?”

Rose shut her eyes. And she nodded.