I heard her voice and knew something was wrong. She tried to say she’d call me back but I told her no fucking way. That’s when I heard other voices. The sound of my father yelling. The way he yelled… I knew he was in cuffs. My father had different voices. A drunk voice. A high voice. A sober voice. An angry voice. But his handcuff voice was something completely different. He tried to sound super tough and strong, but you could hear this crackling, knowing he was terrified. I think it was the only time guilt ever crept into his broken soul.

There were other voices too. Obviously the police.

“Rose, what the fuck is happening?” I growled into the phone.

“Foster, I’ll call you when this settles. I’m sorry. I have…”

“She’s pregnant,” my father’s voice boomed. “You get your ass home and take care of your family, Kingsley.”

“What?” I asked.

“I’m sorry,” Rose said again.

That’s when the call went dead.

I stood in the middle of the dining room of the furnished apartment that Carl had been paying for for me. Everything was predesigned and I owned nothing except for the food in the fridge and my clothes and guitar.

She’s pregnant.

I hurried to call Rose back but she didn’t pick up.

Gritting my teeth, my hands started to shake.

“What the hell is happening?” I asked to nobody in the apartment with me.

Three more calls went ignored.

So I resorted to a fucking text message.

I kept it simple.

Rose - are you okay? Are you pregnant?

Then I waited. Strangely enough, it was like a woman waiting for the pregnancy test to give the results. My phone on the table, waiting for it to beep. My eyes scanning the apartment. My bag on the one counter. Notebooks on the table. My guitar resting on the couch.

My phone finally beeped with a reply from Rose.

I looked at my questions and I looked at her answers.

Was she okay… no… was she pregnant… yes…

* * *

I barreled through the apartment door with my bag and my guitar. Leaving the same way I had arrived. I called Carl and left him a message that there was an emergency. The keys to the apartment were on the table and I was flying home.

Home.

I had no idea what the fuck home even was. I’d never really had a home. The closest thing to it had always been Rose.

Pregnant? She was pregnant?

My head spun.

I mapped out how long I had been gone in my mind. The last time Rose and I were together. How many times before that. Trying to match dates, but that was impossible because I had lost all track of time. Hours, days, weeks. It was a fucking blur. My life had become focused on writing music and recording music.

I couldn’t move fast enough. Needing to get back to Rose.

I was able to send her one more text message before I had to turn off my phone for a while.

Rose, I’m coming home to you. Where I belong.

When I sent the message, I wrestled through my bag to find a notebook. I was never meant to leave. Rose had been right all along. It was about taking a risk. The one thing we never did for each other. We’d get to the edge and instead of jumping, we’d back away. I never wanted Rose to jump because I never wanted her to experience hell. But I never truly thought it out. There would be no hell for Rose. I had already been there and survived. The flames had already licked my skin, the scars were my memories, and if hell tried to emerge again, I would wrap my arms around Rose and turn, keeping her safe from the flames.

Pregnant…

The word attacked me again.

It was all I could think about.

Rose… my Rose… carrying… our baby.

Hey Rose, sometimes I wonder about our tomorrow. What time the sun will rise. When I can hold your hand for the first time that day. When I can taste the morning coffee on your lips. When I can hear your laugh for the first time. When I look into your eyes and remind you how much I care. That I’ll always… try my best to be there.

* * *

The hours felt like years. I couldn’t relax, no matter what I did. I knew each second that passed I was closer to Rose, but it wasn’t fast enough. My track of time was so far off, my body didn’t know whether to be awake, tired, or somewhere in between. It was well past midnight as I drove through town, racing to get to Rose. I tried calling her but she didn’t answer. I tried calling the phone number that my father had called me from a few times. There was no answer. Hell, I even tried calling Rhett and he didn’t answer. I felt like I had stumbled into a ghost town.

The only person who seemed to be alive was Carl. He called and left me a message, wanting to know what the emergency was. That he hoped everyone was okay and safe. And wanted to know when I’d be back in the studio because I was booked for a handful more sessions.

I tossed my phone to the passenger seat of a cheap rental car and kept speeding. I went right to Rose’s apartment. When I saw her car, I felt a little relieved. I parked next to her and ran from the car as though the world was on fire and it was just an inch from getting me.

At her door, I pounded my right fist, my heart slamming against the inside of my chest.

All I ever wanted for Rose was happiness. She was supposed to move on and move forward in life. She was never supposed to end up mine. Fate wasn’t supposed to let it happen. No matter how hard I pushed fate away, it pushed right back at…

The door opened and I saw Rose.

Standing there, looking stuck between sleep and tears.

Her face radiant. Everything about her naturally beautiful and perfect.

“Foster,” she whispered.

“I tried calling you, Rose,” I said. “What…”

My eyes scanned down and went wide.

Her belly was round.

Rose turned a little and slowly placed a hand to her stomach.

I reached and quickly pulled back. “Rose, I don’t get it.”

“I’m sorry, Foster,” she said. “I fucked everything up.”

“You… did not…”

My hand moved up through the air and I reached for Rose’s soft cheek. My fingertips touched it and she shut her eyes for a second. My heart was blasted into a million pieces. She turned her head and pressed her lips to my thumb. I stepped forward, feeling the sizzling electricity between us.

I got close enough to feel her breath hit me.

I dared myself to touch my nose to hers.

Rose touched my hand with hers. I wanted to interlock my fingers with hers and hold her. I wanted to say everything I had been thinking for the last ten weeks or so. Instead, Rose moved my hand down to touch her stomach. I felt the bulge of the roundness and my stomach did a wild twist and a backflip.

“Rose,” I whispered.

“Yes,” she said. “It’s your baby, Foster.”

“Our baby.”

“I never told you,” she whispered. “I fucked up…”

My fingers spread wide across her stomach. “I’m here now, Rose. I fucked up. I shouldn’t have left the way I did. I…”

Rose lifted her head a little and inched forward. Her soft lips touched mine.

I kissed her back.

She groaned.

I broke the kiss. “Rose. What the fuck happened tonight…”

She looked up at me.

The same Rose I remembered from such a long time ago.

I was so tired and twisted up, I didn’t know what to think or do. Hours ago I was inside that fake apartment. I could see the ocean from the window in the living room. I could taste the warmth in the air. I was going to work on a couple new songs and take them to the studio. But all of that was processed. Touching Rose, kissing Rose, that was real. The realest of all reals, no matter how much it hurt and how much it put both of us at risk.

“Foster,” she said. “Your father got busted with drugs again. He was hiding them in my apartment. I can tell you everything that happened later.”

“Later?” I whispered.

Rose nodded. “I can’t tell if I’m dreaming or not right now. And I need you. I need you in a way I can’t describe…”

She touched my face and dug her nails in just enough to tell me exactly what she needed. I gritted my teeth and growled under my breath.

“Rose, you were supposed to have your own forever without me.”

She slowly shook her head. “Without you, Foster, there is no forever. I owe you a million apologies for everything…”

I looked down. I swallowed hard. She had been pregnant all this time and never told me. My son… my daughter… our child…

A whole new life.

With everything else around us crumbling as it always did.

“Foster,” Rose whispered. “Please. I’ve spent every night and every day living in this hell…”

I pressed my lips to hers.

Rose would never feel hell again. I would steal all the hell from her. She would live in heaven and our baby would be her world.

I had no idea what that meant yet.

But first things first…

My Rose needed me.