When Vivian got back, I could still feel my cheeks burning hot. I felt like I was going to pass out. Like the bar had suddenly shrunk to a third of its size with the same amount of people in the place.

The words had been etched into my mind.

And typical Foster, saying something like that and then standing up and walking away. Leaving me hanging there, thinking I was going to sneak a birthday kiss or something.

How stupid of me, right?

I hadn’t seen him in a long time. And the last time I saw him…

“Do you love me?”

I sighed.

I swallowed again.

I inched away.

“What the fuck?”

“You won’t answer.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“The truth. Answer my question.”

“Do you love me?”

“You don’t get to twist this. If I say I love you, then you have to say you love me. If I say I don’t love you, then you have an easy out.”

“Easy out? You think I want an easy out?”

“I never said that.”

“You just did.”

“No I didn’t. I said… if you sa… if I say…”

“Shhh. Listen to the rain, Rose. Just listen to the rain. Washing everything away. Keeps people away. Keeps everything calm.”

I waited as long as I could to hear the words I love you…

… but they never came.

And he chose now to say it to me? To confess he was in love with me? And that he was at the bar with someone else? What the fuck did that mean? With someone as in a date? A first date? Fourth date? A normal, implied date because they were together and in love?

Vivian sat down and casually lifted the sweating mug and brought it to her lips. I sat there like a criminal. A really bad criminal because I was about to explode with guilt. As though my pockets were full of stolen diamonds and the person sitting next to me was the officer who was trying to track them down.

I started to reach for my drink, my hand visibly shaking. I told myself it didn’t matter and that Vivian wouldn’t notice. First off, the bar wasn’t that well-lit. It was a dive bar. It was dark. Everyone was talking.

Then again, this was my sister. She knew when I had a pimple before I did. She took pride in telling me I had a growth on my face when I was in high school. Bitch.

“So, are you going to tell me why Foster was over here?” Vivian asked.

I turned my head and she stared at me with a wicked grin.

“Huh?” I asked, a poor attempt at playing stupid.

“You heard me,” Vivian said. “That’s a little blast from your past, huh?”

“Oh, Foster? Not really. I mean, he stopped over to say happy birthday.”

“Right. Because your birthday wasn’t yesterday.”

That sly grin on Vivian’s face annoyed me.

I curled my lip. “It’s my business.”

“Your business? You know he’s sitting with two other women, right?”

I swallowed hard. Two women?

“So?” I asked.

“Rose, come on…”

“Come on what? I’m sitting here and he came over to buy me a shot and say happy birthday.”

“Oh, so you had another shot,” Vivian said. “That’s good. You’ll loosen up and start talking.”

“Talk about what?”

“Your feelings for Foster.”

I snorted. “There are no feelings for Foster.”

But he did say he loves me…

“Bullshit, Rose,” Vivian said.

“Viv, leave it alone.”

“It’s always dangerous when you two get together.”

“Get together? Who’s getting together?”

Vivian shook her head. “I guess nobody.”

I pulled that one off decent enough. What Vivian didn’t know was that before Foster strutted away he wrote his number down on a napkin. He placed it into my hand and tightened his hand around mine. His lips got close to my ear.

Call me, Slug. Tonight. I’ll make sure it doesn’t cause you any trouble.

I tried to look over my shoulder a few times but wasn’t going to be able to do it without making it look obvious.

“Rose,” Vivian said. “Can I ask you something?”

“Depends.”

“It’s about Foster.”

“Then no.”

“What happened with you two? It wasn’t that long ago, right? You were together and then you weren’t.”

“That’s called a relationship,” I said. “Believe it or not, Viv, sometimes people are better off as friends. I’m not like you.”

“Like me? What does that mean?”

I knew the cheap shot could change the subject.

“You know,” I said. “You enjoy the night and that’s it. You always find something wrong and find a way out before it gets too serious. You never put yourself out there.”

Vivian raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I’m sorry. I have a type that I enjoy. Plus, if anyone got a chance to put yourself out there, it was you.”

“Me? I’ve only been with…”

I didn’t finish that sentence. It didn’t matter how many or how few guys I had slept with.

“Yeah,” Vivian said. “You chose the one of all the ones. The one where Dad had to worry endlessly. A kid like Foster. Drugs. Guns. His father in jail. Believe me, you stole all the headaches and worry.”

“Foster didn’t…”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said. “You’re not together, remember?”

“Exactly.”

Vivian leaned in. “Forget all that. I did a little snooping while you were talking to Foster.”

“Oh?”

“Trust me, the second I saw you two, I hung back a little. But I saw something I like.”

“Something?”

“Well, someone. I don’t know. I prefer to think of him as something.”

“Okay. Is this a hunk?”

“A total hunk. And he’s visiting from out of town. For a wedding.”

“Oh, that’s your specialty. No commitment for sure.”

Vivian nodded. “Yes.”

“So this is your way of saying Well, Rose, I hope you had a happy birthday… we had a couple drinks and talked for about five minutes… but we did spend the day together so that makes it okay that I want to take off on this night and go ride some hunk until I can’t remember my name…”

“That’s pretty accurate,” Vivian said. “So…”

“Go,” I said. “Thank you for today.”

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t have a choice,” I said.

Vivian jumped up and took a breath. “How do I look?”

“That hunk has no idea what’s about to happen to him,” I said with a smile.

“Love you, Rose.”

“Viv, please be safe,” I said.

She touched my shoulder. “You too.”

“I’m going to find a way home and call it a night,” I said. “Since my ride ditched me.”

Vivian wanted to give me her keys but I declined. No way I was chancing driving.

She lingered for a few extra seconds but didn’t say anything.

Finally, she walked away.

I slowly turned and took my chances to look for Foster.

He was gone.

Vivian was flirting with her new hunk.

I reached into my pocket and took out Foster’s number. I took out my phone.

I bit my lip.

Rose, I’m here with someone else… but I’m still in love with you.

My heart raced.

I couldn’t be that person. I wouldn’t be that person. If he was with someone there was no way I would ever get in the way of that. No matter my feelings for him.

But there was no harm in a friend giving a friend a ride home, right?

I slowly started to text Foster’s number.

I told myself nothing was going to happen.

But this was Foster… something was always going to happen…