Tucker
Being with Ryan made me forget all my troubles. I felt at peace with him. What he said about how we parted as teens—it helped me lose the guilt I had been holding on to for so many years. Ryan was right. We were together again. That was what mattered.
We spent the rest of that week doing our scheduled visits before my therapy sessions, coupled with some serious make out sessions. Time flew by fast. We spent that weekend together watching shows, going to the park, or naked in bed. He cooked for me and I cooked for him, so to speak. Life was good.
The following weekend I decided it was time I tried taking Ryan somewhere really public. I was going to go without Morgan too. I felt like I could handle it.
I thought we’d do something retro. I planned on taking him to the indoor mall in town. We used to hang out there as kids, playing pinball at the arcade, hitting the movie theater, and eating the mall food.
However, this time I wanted to change it up a little now that I had money. As kids we had to survive off our allowances and the little we made at our part-time jobs. It was fun, but now I could really spoil Ryan. And that was what I planned on doing.
I picked Ryan up in my red convertible since it would be just the two of us.
“Wow. This car is very sexy,” Ryan said as he climbed in.
“Thank you.”
“You didn’t want to bring Morgan?”
“Nah, I think I’m good for the night. I want to try to go incognito. A beautiful shiny black dog draws attention.”
“That’s for sure.”
“Although you may draw attention too. You look especially handsome today.” Ryan was wearing black jeans with a dark blue silky shirt. The color accentuated his auburn eyes.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” Ryan replied back, kissing me on the cheek. “So where are you taking me?”
“You’ll see soon.”
It felt good to drive in the convertible with the night air whipping our faces. I decided to forgo music so we could just enjoy the sounds of the town.
As we pulled into the parking lot of the old cement mall, Ryan said in awe, “No, we’re going to the mall? Our mall?”
“We had so much fun here as kids. I’m hoping the place is still alive and kicking. I heard they had some additions, including a hotel attached to the middle now. Can you imagine? A hotel in the middle of the mall?”
“Heaven.”
I winked at him, then pulled into a spot close to one of the side entrance doors. It seemed well-lit and secure. There was even a security guard driving around in a golf cart.
When we entered with our hands intertwined, I felt a slight wave of nausea hit me. I took a deep breath and concentrated on the feeling of Ryan’s warm hand in mine. I could do this, I told myself.
As we walked, nothing looked as I had remembered it. We stopped at the giant map at the end of the wing where it met up with the large hub. I looked it over until I found that the old arcade was still there, and where we were in relation to it.
“And we’re off,” I said as I led Ryan to the right.
We walked past a huge waterfall in the center of the mall. It was quite the spectacle, with lights flickering in the cascading waves.
As we walked, I heard someone call my name and we both stopped. An older couple caught up to us, the man wearing a cap bearing my old team’s name. “Son, we’re so happy to see you,” he said, patting me on the shoulder. “You’re a walking miracle! We saw the footage of the accident. You did good. You saved her.”
His wife chimed in, “Bless you, Tucker. We were fans before, and now even more so.” She gave me a hug.
I was touched and amazed that I didn’t feel like fleeing the scene. I smiled and thanked them both. They didn’t hover like a lot of fans tended to do, which was a surprise.
They noticed we were holding hands and didn’t say anything. That was my first official sighting with Ryan, and they didn’t judge. I was glad, because I was pretty sure the flight response would have taken hold. Not that I was ashamed, but I was still hesitant about being around people and any kind of confrontation was going to set me off.
So we walked on. Ryan commented, “That was a nice couple.”
“Yes, they were. I wish more people respected boundaries like they just did. I don’t mind giving out autographs at football functions, but when I am out on my own, I like it being a short and sweet encounter like that one. They showed respect. I like that.”
“I never really thought about it, but that must be hard, losing your anonymity and having to talk to people anytime you’re out in public. I’d hate that.”
We kept walking at a leisurely pace, passing new stores whose names I didn’t recognize. Football and fame had kept me from doing things like this. I didn’t realize how much I had missed the ordinary life. My old life.
We finally arrived at my first surprise destination: the pinball arcade. When Ryan saw where we were going, he freaked out. “Dude! I missed our times here. Wow.”
I paid the ticket person at the entrance. They changed things from when we used to go. No longer would we pop quarters to play the games. Now it was $10 an hour per person, with unlimited chances. Though, considering I could easily play for an hour on the same quarter, it was a bump up in price. Oh well!
Ryan took off and walked from table to table, checking them out. There were a lot of new games, but then he spotted our favorite pinball machine, and luckily no one was playing on it. “Ours,” Ryan declared while fondly caressing the table as if it were a fancy sports car or something. So cute.
“Want to flip for who goes first?” I asked.
“Heck no! I go first. I know after I play, you’ll run the table forever and I’ll never get another chance!”
Ryan grabbed a stool from nearby and sat on it in front of the table. He pressed the button twice on the front of the pinball machine, selecting two players. Then he pulled back on the plunger and the silver ball went flying, causing lights and a variety of bells and sounds to go off while he hit his flippers and concentrated on following the ball. He looked so cute when he was all serious.
Within one minute his ball rolled straight down the middle and he couldn’t save it with the flippers. “Ugh!”
I patted his back. “Step aside. Let me show you how it’s done.” I took the stool he left and moved it aside. I needed room for how I played.
“Don’t you want to sit for your leg?” he asked, sounding a bit worried.
I just looked down at Ryan and frowned.
A look of realization struck his face once he remembered how I played pinball. Smartly, he took a step back, giving me space.
I pulled back on the plunger and let the ball fly. Even though I hadn’t touched a table in years, it all came back to me like muscle memory. I played with my entire body, moving my hips with every flick of a flipper. My right leg would bend at the knee and turn from left to right as I played. Perhaps unnecessary for some people, but I felt like it helped me become one with the ball.
I did feel twinges of pain as I played, but I had something to prove, both to myself and to Ryan.
You know that old phrase, ‘I still got it’? Well, I did.
I played for easily a half hour straight, racking up the high score, with Ryan cheering me on. I managed to attract some attention, until a whole crowd formed around us.
The ball popped when I won a free game. That sound was louder than I remembered.
It stopped me cold.
I knew a crowd had formed around us, but what I didn’t know was that we had packed the arcade. Word must’ve gotten out that the famous reclusive Tucker was on display at the pinball machines. People were paying the $10 entrance fee just to see me.
Once I could hold the ball for a moment on a flipper, I stopped to looked around. I wondered what the crowd really was here to see: me, or my scars?
Instead, one tall guy said to the crowd, “Tucker’s still got game. Look at that score!” Others joined in with similar comments of encouragement.
I let out a sigh of relief. They were here to support me, not mock me. I knew better than to think the worst of people, yet sometimes I couldn’t help but be self-conscious.
Ryan stepped back as they crowded me, asking for my autograph and selfies. I glanced at the ball one more time, then let it drain. “Sorry, I, uh… I gotta go.” I quickly cut through the crowd, searching for Ryan.
I soon felt a warm hand grab mine and lead me through the crowded arcade, out into the open air. When I glanced back, I saw that the crowd didn’t follow us for some reason. I then noticed the owner of the arcade holding everyone up, saying he needed to ‘check everyone’s ticket.’ I supposed that was his way of buying me some time.
Ryan and I walked a ways until we were out of sight from the arcade, then he stopped and asked, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I answered, though I was embarrassed that I let the crowd get to me.
“I should have probably stopped you before the crowd got too big.”
“No, it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have been showing off.”
Ryan laughed. “Yeah. I knew you would take over that table, just like the old days. You always were a pinball wizard.”
I took a deep breath, fully recovered now. “Well, I had more planned for us, if you don’t think the night is ruined.”
“Heck no. Move on. Where to?”
I smiled widely. “It’s a surprise. Let’s go.”
*
I grabbed Ryan’s hand and led him deeper into the mall, toward a restaurant that had been getting rave reviews. Luckily for me, it was a dark restaurant, with private tables behind lattice partitions, low lights, and soft music. All these attributes made it perfect for me, which is why I chose it.
The hostess smiled, recognized me, and immediately took us to a table in the back, away from the windows of the mall. “Here you go, Mr. Tucker. Your waiter will be with you shortly to take your drink order.” She handed us our menus and handed me a wine menu.
She left our table, and a waiter promptly showed up before we could begin to pick out our drinks.
“Gentlemen,” he said in greeting. “My name is Albert. I will be your waiter this evening. I’ll endeavor to make this a most special evening for you two. If you don’t mind my saying, Mr. Tucker, you’re the town’s hero, so it’s an honor to serve you.”
“Thank you, Albert. I appreciate that.”
He bowed slightly, which was weird for me. It made me feel a bit like royalty. He continued, “Do you know what you wish to drink, or would you prefer I come back in a couple of minutes?”
I looked over at Ryan. He smiled and said, “I’m perfectly happy with a beer.”
I closed the wine menu and handed it to Albert. “That makes two of us. Albert, surprise us with your best beer on tap.”
Albert smiled. “With pleasure.” Then he turned and left.
I wiggled a bit in my chair, my leg acting up. I would have to take a pain pill tonight, which pissed me off, but it couldn’t be helped. I knew I did more walking already than I had since my accident. I reminded myself of the progress I had made. But still, I was disappointed, and I think it showed on my face.
Ryan leaned forward. “What’s wrong, Tucker?”
“Nothing, just a twinge of pain.”
“Oh no. Is it bad?”
“It’s okay. Seriously, I didn’t think I’d be doing things like this just a couple of months ago. It’s really not bad at all, considering I’ve forgone the cane and Morgan today.”
“Yes, I’m very proud of you, Tucker. You’ve come so far.”
Albert showed up and gracefully placed frosty mugs in front of us before stepping aside, waiting for direction. He was good.
Ryan looked over the menu, then looked up at me. “I’m thinking the grilled fish. How about you?”
“I think that sounds really good.” The choices were real limited there, the offerings filling only one page. That was a bold thing to do for a restaurant, but it must’ve meant they were that good. I looked up at Albert. “I’ll have the same, thank you.”
He took our menus and left after we gave him all the details of what we wanted to pair the fish with.
Ryan reached out and grabbed my right hand. He held it firmly. “Thank you, Tucker. For tonight. It’s been perfect.”
“Oh, I’m not done, Ryan. Wait until you see what’s for dessert.” I winked at him.
Ryan raised his eyebrows and blushed. I heard him whisper, “Lordy.” He pulled back his hand and drank from his mug.
Dinner was everything I had hoped it would be. The food was outstanding. Albert was impeccable with his timing of everything. When I asked for the bill, he leaned forward and said, “Sir, the staff have all pitched in to pay your tab. It was our pleasure to serve you.”
I looked up at him in total surprise. He had to know I could totally afford the bill, but I decided to accept the gesture with grace. “Thank you. I’ll be tipping generously,” I said, nodding at some waitstaff I noticed peaking at me from the kitchen counter.
Albert nodded, then with the grace of an alley cat, he disappeared.
Ryan stood up. “Holy cow, Tucker!”
I threw ten twenty-dollar bills on the table, figuring that would be a nice enough tip for the staff to split. I then looked at Ryan. “Ready for dessert?”
“I noticed you turned down the sugary kind when Albert offered. So I take it you are offering another kind?”
“Oh yeah.” I drew Ryan toward me and kissed him softly on the lips for the entire restaurant to see. “The carnal kind,” I whispered, and Ryan couldn’t get out of that restaurant fast enough.