Ryan
I hadn’t seen Tucker ever since we had decided to break up. We had made that decision so he could have the life we both wanted for him. It was the hardest thing I’d ever done, breaking up with him. Until today. Seeing him again scared me to death. And excited me.
I kept in touch with his family over the years. I lived down the street and adored them. They had always been good to me, helping me with any yard work or hauling that needed to be done. I sometimes wondered how they’d feel about me if they knew about my sexuality, but then again a part of me suspected they knew and didn’t care.
Sundays were my day off to spend time solely with my dogs. I had discovered that rescue dogs made excellent therapy animals. They needed people and people needed them.
I had a small poodle mix who was wrapping up training to help a young autistic boy, Davey. The dog and Davey were coming along nicely and all that was left to do was help with the transition sometime next week.
Davey was preparing for the Gifted Games, a track and field event for children with disabilities. Having a dog with him would help him cope with the noisy atmosphere, so time was of the essence.
He wasn’t the first special needs child my dogs had helped, nor would he be my last. I had asked if he knew Jacob from the Gifted Games, and he nodded very seriously. “He’s very good at the sprint.”
“Well, he has a dog I trained too, much like your pup. I bet you your dog would like to play with his.”
Davey’s face grew even more serious, but he considered it. “Yeah, maybe.”
“Either way, I’ll be cheering you both on,” I said with a wink.
Davey smiled shyly then headed off with his mother after we agreed on a date to meet next week.
After that, I made sure the poodle was comfortable, and that Bessie and Duke had fresh supplies. I then locked up my house and left for the Lee household.
I made a quick stop at a local store, then proceeded on the short but agonizing drive. I was half-tempted to drive around the block a few times until I gathered up more courage, but the thought almost stopped me dead in my tracks.
Courage. That one word described Tucker. I always knew that about him. He was my hero. And now he was a hero to the town, yet he found no triumph in it.
Today he was breaking free from the safe haven of his home, to meet with me again. His mom warned me how hard this was for him, just in case he wasn’t as polite as she hoped he would be.
I knew I had no business circling the block. I needed to show the same courage Tucker was showing. I couldn’t procrastinate.
I pulled my car into the circle drive of the Lee property. There were several other trucks there, so I tried not to block anyone. I exited with a bottle of white wine and flowers for Mama Lee. I knew she had told me not to bring anything, but in the South, you made sure the hostess was honored. Their brick house was always warm and inviting, but I still had a passel of butterflies in my stomach that refused to settle down.
I knocked.
Eric opened the door and quickly welcomed me inside. “Ryan! Man, is it good to see you again.” The tall redhead gave me a hardy handshake. I had to juggle the wine and flowers to shake his hand, and he blushed, realizing the predicament he had put me in. “Here, let me take these in to Mom.”
“Thank you.”
Jack and Pops came around the corner, both greeting me with a quick side hug. Jack was equally as tall as Eric, with ice blonde hair and more girth to him. Pops looked sophisticated with his slightly grayed hair combed back neatly. He was a big man who had no trouble keeping three large boys in line. I followed them into the kitchen.
“Honey, stop messing with the food for a second and greet Ryan here,” Pops said.
Mama Lee turned from the potato salad she was stirring. “Oh, Ryan, I’m so sorry!” She gave me a hug, one hand still gripping a huge spoon.
Eric handed her the flowers and wine bottle. She accepted them with an arched eyebrow and turned to me. “Ryan, you shouldn’t have. Thank you!”
She was still so young and beautiful. She had the slightest lines at the edges of her blue eyes, but they were from her constant smiling more than the wear of time. Her slight stature was quite the contrast to the large men who dominated her family.
I smiled. “I’m glad you like them, ma’am.”
“Boys, take him outside so he can say hi to Tucker,” Mama Lee directed. She winked at me and I smiled.
Before I knew it, we were stepping outside onto their back deck where Tucker sat at the head of a long table where a hearty spread was already set up. The back deck was entirely in the shade under the canopy of a large old oak tree. Its branches spread out and around the house as if they were long arms hugging the home. I forgot how enchanting the effect was.
My eyes briefly met Tucker’s and he slowly stood up as I approached.
He looked amazing still. He was wearing dark jeans and a t-shirt. The entire ensemble hugged his muscled body, as if a sculptor created him, with the clothes being an afterthought. No imagination was needed to see what lay beneath.
The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy then. I skipped breakfast that morning, and was deeply regretting that decision.
Tucker’s normally effusive family was rendered momentarily speechless. Which was not helpful.
Tucker had a baseball hat on, hung low over his eyes. His head was tilted down as he stood there, as if on display.
I felt his vulnerability and reached out with my hand. He formally shook my hand, making me jolt from the electricity of touching his warm skin again. He quickly sat back down, as if he too was affected by our touch.
Awkward.
Pops finally found his vocal cords and pulled out a chair beside Tucker’s. “Here you go, Ryan.”
“Thanks.” I accepted the chair and sat down.
“I’ll leave you two to it.” Pops then turned to his boys. “Y’all help me see if your mom needs anything.”
And with that, we were alone.
Tucker turned his head to his right, looking out at the freshly manicured yard below the deck. He didn’t seem interested in talking.
So I spoke, hoping to break the awkward silence. “Thank you for seeing me, Tucker. It’s been so long. Years, huh?”
Silence.
Did he even miss me?
I took the opportunity to study the side of his face that I could see. His profile revealed he was even more handsome than I had remembered. His masculine nose flared with each breath. His lips were the best lips a man could have, full, defined, juicy. He only got better with time. He was more rugged, a five o’clock shadow adding to his allure. Just looking at him was starting to get me hot and bothered.
I had tried dating after Tucker and I parted ways, but nobody came close. No one gave me the butterflies, no one made me feel this heat. It would seem my body only reacted to Tucker.
Even if it was this quiet, shielded version of Tucker.
So I tried to converse with him again, despite the silent treatment.
“Tucker.”
His shoulders tensed up. He looked capable of flight sitting there, trying so hard to ignore me.
“Tucker, I still love you.”
His head whipped around so fast, he startled some songbirds who were perched on the railing. I knew that would get his attention.
I smiled.
He frowned, but kept his steely blue eyes on me as he slowly tilted his hat back revealing the right side of his face, the scarred side. “Do you love this?”
I drew in a deep breath. It was shocking at first. His scars represented so much pain. A huge jagged scar cut down the side of his cheek with burn marks all around. But I still saw how beautiful he was. No scar could hide that fact from me.
“Yes. I love your face. Always have. And I love you. Always will. Never stopped.”
He brought the hat back down, shadowing his right side again, his curly blonde hair askew with that lovable surfer look he had always sported. “How can you say that? We haven’t seen each other in years. Now this.” He pointed to his face briefly.
“Love isn’t something that can be turned off and on. It just is. I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you. And if you let me, I could help you.”
He glared at me. “Doubt you can help me, Ryan. But thanks for the offer.”
My gaze found itself on his lips as I spoke, “I think you need a companion.” I blushed as I realized how that sounded. “An emotional support dog. That is what I do for a living. I find special dogs, match them up with the right person, and train them both. I’ve been quite successful at it. I believe I can help you.”
“Oh. That’s what you mean? I thought you were offering yourself.”
“Well, I—”
He interrupted me quickly, “But how can a dog help with my pain?”
“You’d be surprised what a dog could do for your health and well-being. But you have to want it—want my help.”
Tucker had a hurt look on his face then. I had no way of knowing what he was thinking, but I worried that he was closed off to the offer of any help.
Before he could respond, his family came back, each holding a different dish, putting the final touches on the already crowded table brimming with food.
Tucker wordlessly turned back toward the yard and I put on an optimistic smile for his family.