Tucker
I woke up screaming. The sound of screeching wheels, a terrible crashing, and the wet heat of blood was all I could feel. I quickly calmed down when I realized I was having another nightmare, and that the wet feeling on my face was not blood, but slobber from Morgan licking me.
While it wasn’t exactly a pleasant way to wake up, it wasn’t as bad as usual. Usually the nightmare went on and on, but this morning it came to an abrupt halt. I think Morgan rescued me from the nightmare’s clutches by her gentle licking of my cheek.
I took in a deep breath, letting relief wash over me. Usually I couldn’t wake up from these nightmares, having to endure the pain all over again, moment by moment in slow motion. But this time, and every time I had slept since having that dog in my life, I got out of the nightmare the moment it began. All thanks to Morgan.
She was laying beside me in bed, looking at me expectantly with her soft amber eyes. I gave her a huge hug while she licked my face.
“Thank you, girl.”
She woofed a quiet bark in response. I interpreted it as: “No problem, bud.”
I turned to lay on my back, one arm outstretched with her head resting on it as I looked up at the ceiling. I decided today was the day my pity party ended.
I had so much to be grateful for. The first being that the woman I had helped survived. When I saw someone in that burning car, all I could think about was freeing them. It was the first thing I asked when I came out of a coma. Was she okay? When I learned she was fine, I had been overcome with relief.
Though I had noticed that my leg was in a traction and felt the bandages on my face, I was unconcerned about myself at the time. I didn’t feel anything; they had the morphine drip at maximum. Later they warned me they would have to bring it down, since I was awake.
That made no sense to me then. I probably didn’t need the morphine in my big sleep, but once I was alert, they had wanted to knock it back a few notches? They must’ve had their reasons, but it wasn’t a pleasant way to wake up.
Despite the pain I had started to feel, my thoughts returned to being grateful. I was alive. And considering I was hit full on by a car going the speed of fuck you, that was a miracle.
These days the pain had improved greatly. It was becoming manageable. In fact, I noticed over the last few days that Morgan’s company seemed to distract my mind from it.
Morgan, she was a great gift. Her angelic presence in my life distracted me from that dark place I had buried my mind in. She gave me hope.
I know it probably sounded crazy, how one single dog could have such powers, but her spirituality brought a bright light into my dark despair.
She made it all seem so ridiculous, how I had been behaving the last few months. It was like her zen qualities were seeping into me, filling my veins with the can-do spirit I had once prided myself on.
Another thought occurred to me as I lay there, thinking about all I had to be thankful for: Ryan.
Were it not for him, I would still be wallowing in the muck. Seeing him that Sunday was scary but also wonderful. At first I was angry. At first I thought his presence was a giant tease by the Universe, showing me what I could have had. Only later did I realize that the only thing keeping Ryan out of my reach was me. The Universe was giving me an opportunity to right a wrong, and to find a way to heal.
I lost football, sure. I would never play it again. But while I laid there with Morgan in the morning light, I knew that I would figure something out. I wouldn’t be able to play football again, but there was another opportunity out there. I just had to find it.
“Morgan, I’m going to get my shit straight.” I looked over at her black wolfish face. “Speaking of, do you have to go outside?”
She jumped up and then hopped down from the bed, barking a couple of times in excitement.
I slowly got up, swung my legs to the side, grabbed my cane, and followed her out of the room. It was when I grabbed my cane, that slender metal object I so despised, that I told myself I would call the physical therapist and schedule my sessions again. I wanted to be free of this cane, if possible. I hoped it wasn’t too late to restart my rehabilitation.
I then opened the back door and followed Morgan outside. I decided to walk with her around the grounds instead of sitting on the bench. She seemed to appreciate that. A morning stroll was just what the doctor had ordered.
*
When we returned inside, I heard the phone ringing and hobbled over to it as fast as I could. I picked up the receiver. “Hello?”
“Hey Tucker, how are things going with Morgan?”
I recognized Ryan’s voice immediately. “Hey! Things are going great, actually. I found out she is helping me with something else.”
“What’s that?”
“She’s waking me up from nightmares. I used to be stuck in them. It made me hate to go to sleep. I don’t know how, but she knows when I’m having them and pulls me out.”
“That’s excellent news!”
“Also…” I took a deep breath. “I’m committed to turning my life around. I’m going to schedule physical therapy sessions again.” It felt good saying that out loud to someone. I knew by telling someone who could hold me accountable, I was going to go through with it.
Ryan’s voice sounded a lot more cheerful now. “I’m so happy to hear it, Tucker. We should schedule our training sessions too. But first you figure out what days you have free then let me know. I’d like to do this three times a week for starters, if you think you can tolerate me that much.”
I laughed. “That sounds like a plan. Let me call Tony up today and see when he wants to schedule me in for.”
“Okay. I’ll be waiting. Give Morgan an ear scritch for me.”
“Will do. I’ll call you soon.”
We hung up and then I found Tony’s number and called. I would start my therapy that afternoon, and every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoon after. Tony sounded relieved that I was finally returning to my physical therapy.
I then called Ryan and suggested we schedule training for the mornings of my therapy appointments. That way I wouldn’t be tired from therapy when I saw him, and that would leave me Tuesdays, Thursdays, and the weekend for other things.
He agreed and we made a date for Wednesday morning.