Chapter 29 – Brent
When the knock comes at my apartment door, I’m figuring it’s Nikki. So, I shout, “You’re late! Come in!” That’s my first mistake. My second mistake is not leaping out my fifth-floor window when I hear the voice of the woman it actually is walking through my door.
“Brent!” What. The. Shit. It can’t be. But it is.
“Kelly?! What’re you—” I hit pause on Super Mario Universe (which I’ve been playing for far too long already), and briefly consider trying to hide the several bags of chips and 12-packs of Mountain Dew I’d amassed for this Saturday gaming marathon.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Kelly demands, sweeping through the kitchen and landing in front of me like some maddened crow. Except this crow has long blonde hair and a body that seems to have become rather gaunt since the last time I saw it. Perhaps she’s been too broken up our broken engagement to eat.
I swallow my last mouthful of sour cream and onion chips and look up at her. “In life? Or on this couch specifically?”
“No, jackass! With our wedding!” Uh-oh. How did she—
“Frank from the Plaza called this morning to thank us for participating in their venue tour and to ask if I wanted to finalize our reservation. To get married.”
Whoops. “Um…must have been a mistake. Maybe there was somebody there who just looks a lot like you?”
“Brent, what the hell did you do?!” Okay, so she’s not buying the doppelgänger excuse.
“Kelly, it’s not so much what I did as what I…didn’t do.” Standing, I brush the chip crumbs off my pants and face her. “Specifically, cancel all our reservations. I was going to do it after you left, but calling all my relatives to cancel their invitations took a lot out of me!”
“So, what, you’ve just been using our cancelled wedding to get free stuff?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“What makes you think that’s okay?!” Kelly’s not slowing down, and now I start to ramp up. This is how it always was anyway. Why change the pattern now?
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that everything’s paid for with my money? And is non-refundable?”
“So, you’re what, just pretending I’m sick or something so you can still do all these fancy tours and events?”
“Not exactly.”
“Well then, what’re you - oh my god, are you going with someone else? To our wedding events? I know some of them require that both parts of the couple be present. I can’t believe you’re too busy lounging around being lazy, playing video games and doing your stupid drawings, and taking someone else to our wedding planning events. You used to be so hard working but now you’re just a bum.”
“Kelly! First of all, none of this is ‘ours’ anymore. It’s mine. Just mine. You left, not me, so it’s probably better if you just stay out of it and mind your own business!” God, she’s making me explain things to her as if she’s a child. But in this case, at least, I’m not wrong. This isn’t her business. She didn’t like that I retired young and became an artist but she doesn’t have to. It’s not her problem anymore. I’m happy, and she doesn’t have to like it. And, she’s acting like a petulant, demanding toddler.
Kelly still looks furious, about to unload on me - and that’s when the door bursts open again. This time, it really is Nikki. “Heyoooo! I’ve got snacks! And DOOM 3! Ready to get your ass…handed to you?” She trails off at the sight of Kelly and I facing off. “I’m gonna…go snack in the hall for a little.”
“No.” I hear myself say. “It’s cool, Nik. Kelly was just on her way out. Weren’t you, Kelly?”
Man, if looks could kill. Well, to be honest, if that were true I’d have been dead years ago by Kelly’s eyes. But even under this latest withering glare, I’m still standing.
“I get it now,” she says. “You’re going with Nikki.”
Kelly had always been jealous of Nikki, which is ridiculous because it’s purely just platonic. But Kelly has always been just a jealous person in general. I decide to use that against her, since she can’t seem to take a hint and leave when I say to leave.
“While Nikki would make a fabulous wedding venue tour companion, it’s not her,” I announce. “I’ve found someone else. And I’m much happier this way. So, please, leave me alone.”
“You’re—what?”
A flash of anger and jealousy flashes in her eyes. I almost feel bad for her. Almost. Kelly leaves without another word, and I flop back onto the couch.
“That sure looked like fun. You good?” Nikki drops down next to me and cracks open a Dew.
“I mean, not really. But killing Waluigi always helps when I’m feeling bad.”
“Works for me.”
We both grab our controllers, and I feel like I can finally breathe again. Not only because I no longer have to play video games alone now that Nikki finally showed up, but also because I feel so glad I didn’t marry Kelly.