Chapter 51 – Amelia
I wish I was waking up next to him, is my first thought the next morning. I had to beg off staying the night, because leaving early and showing up late back-to-back was the kind of thing that I’d get noticed for - especially now that my Junior Partner application is in.
Still, I have to put that aside for the moment and force myself to focus on work. Our big weekly meeting is today, first thing in the morning. I slip into my chair at the conference table five minutes early, and it’s not too long before Rosa joins me.
“So? How’d it go?” she whispers to me as the room begins to fill up.
I can’t keep the grin off my face. Or the blush. “It was amazing. I think—” the end of that sentence gets driven out of my head when I see Jason and Violet enter the room…together, as always. Styles enters right after them, so I have an excuse to not talk.
“Good morning, everyone. Just a few quick things to knock off the agenda here before we head into the day. First off, applications are closed for the new Junior Partner position, and I’ll be finalizing my decision by the end of the week. I’m really pleased with the applications I received, and there are a few in particular that truly stand out.”
As he says this, Styles looks right at me…and smiles, just slightly. The rest of the meeting is a blur, as I try to process that look. He didn’t look that way at anyone else, did he? The nudge and grin that Rosa gives me makes me think not.
I’m feeling great, until the meeting ends and I head into the hallway. Violet and Jason are out there, and as I pass by, Jason looks right at me and says, “Yeah, the Junior Partners are the ones who get put on our billboard ads…Styles is going to have to pick someone who’ll actually fit.” Next to him, Violet snickers.
I keep walking. It shouldn’t matter to me. It shouldn’t.
But it does.
The morning is a dull slog of activity after that. I work, but I can’t bring myself to care much about what I’m doing. I have to go back and do some of it over because it’s so full of errors.
When a knock comes at my door around noon, I jump at the chance to get out of my rut. “Come in!”
Rosa pokes her head around the door, still grinning just like she was this morning. “Hey! Got a surprise for you.”
“Yeah?”
She opens the door all the way, and standing in the hallway with her is…Brent. “I found this one wandering around the halls, looking for your office. Poor guy looked like a lost puppy, so I figured I could take a little pity on him.”
“Hey, Amil.” Brent is smiling, and holding two bags in his arms. “I brought lunch. Samples from the catering company!” He comes in and sets the bags on my desk. “C’mon! Time to stop working away and dive into something else more tasty.”
I should be happier that he’s here to surprise me. And part of me is. But the rest of me is still stuck in that hallway, hearing Jason’s comments over and over again. I barely pick at the food he brought us, and he notices.
“Amil. You okay?”
“Yeah. Sure. Just not that hungry.” I lie.
“Oh, I get it. Saving up room for the catering company taster this weekend, huh?”
Shit. I’d totally forgotten about that. And now, I was in no mood to actually do it. “About that…I’m not sure I can go.”
“What? Why not?” Brent looks incredulous, and I can’t blame him.
“I just - all this fancy eating out is making me gain weight.” Before I can stop myself, the rest of the thought bursts out. “And I’m fat enough as it is, I don’t need more.”
Brent sits back. “Amil. Where is this coming from? You look amazing.”
“No, I don’t! I look gross. I definitely don’t look good enough to be a Junior Partner.”
“Wait.” Brent reaches out and cups my face in his hand. “This doesn’t sound like you. It sounds like…Amil, did your ex say something?”
“Cute and smart.” I offer a halfhearted grin.
“Look, why do you care what he thinks anyway? He’s your ex, nothing he says matters-”
“If you paid more attention, you’d know that’s not true, Brent!” Suddenly, I’m hopelessly frustrated and angry. Why doesn’t he understand? “It does matter to me!”
“Why? Do you still have feelings for him or something?” Brent backs up now.
“No! Absolutely not!”
“Well, then you should try caring more about what I say than what he does! I think you’re beautiful, why isn’t that enough for you?!”
I can feel the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes now. “It’s not - please, just leave me alone. I have to get back to work.”
He wants to argue with me - I can feel it - but he bites back whatever retort he has in mind, and settles for leaving with a quiet, “Okay.”
I wait for the door to close. Then I let the tears out.