Chapter 54 – Amelia
I spend the weekend in bed, staring at the ceiling fan and failing miserably at not thinking about Brent and Jason and the whole mess that my personal life has suddenly become. It certainly doesn’t help that I’d forgotten my parents are coming to town this week. They say it’s just for a vacation, but that usually means they’re coming to check in on me.
Sometimes I look at my phone, but there are no messages from Brent. I can’t make you love me. That keeps echoing around in my head. I wish I could have told him the truth…that he doesn’t have to. But how can I tell him that, when I feel so messy and worthless? I can’t get Jason’s words out of my head either.
I finally get out of bed when my alarm sounds on Monday morning. As I shower, I find myself waking up…and beginning to feel angry. Brent put me in this position with his plan, and then his declaration of love…and now he’s just going to leave me hanging?
I decide that I’m going to stop by his place on my way to work and end this once and for all.
Knock, knock, knock. I’m dressed, upright, looking professional, as I rap on his door. I hear shuffling as I knock again, and finally the door opens on a sleep-bedraggled Brent.
“Amil! Hi.” He perks up at the sight of me. “What’re you doing here?”
“I came to ask you a question, Brent. When are we going to stop doing this?” My voice is colder than I want it to be, but I don’t have the luxury of coddling him right now. I need to get him away from me, so he can find someone worth his time.
Brent sighs, leaning against his doorframe. “We’re going to stop doing this, Amil, when you decide that this is real. When you stop pretending you’re worthless, and start realizing how wonderful you are and how much I want you. We’ll stop doing this when we’re together. Really together. That’s when.”
“Brent, I…I need time to think.” Is all I can manage.
He regards me with a look somewhere between sadness and bemusement. “You’ve got eight weeks to think about it, Amil.”
“Eight weeks?”
“Eight weeks. That’s when the reservation I kept at the Crystal Plaza is. You know, the place we first re-met? I know it’s real and I want to go through with it but obviously I need you to pull yourself together and get on board. Take the time you need…but I’m not chasing you down again. You know what I think, you know how I feel. That’s all I can do.”
“O-Okay.” My voice is shaking, and that’s all I can get out before I turn and leave. I half-expect Brent’s ‘I won’t chase you’ to be just a line - expect him to call out from his apartment door to me before I get to the elevator. But he doesn’t. All I hear is the soft click of his door shutting, and when I look back, the hall is empty.
I go to work, and sit in our weekly conference meeting. Only when Styles walks in and sits at the head of the table do I remember that today’s the day he is announcing -
“- the newest junior partner for our firm.” Styles says, resting his hands on the table. “We had a number of talented staff members apply, but as is often the case, there was a clear frontrunner.”
Down the table from me, Jason smirks. Yup, that’d be about perfect, I think. Just prove him right about me again.
“So, with great pleasure, I can tell you that myself and the other partners are happy to welcome to our partnership ranks…Amelia.”
My mind short-circuits. Did he just say my name? I think he definitely did. Everyone around me at the table is applauding (except for Jason and Violet). Styles reaches out to shake my hand, and my body, on autopilot, stands up and returns his handshake. “Thank you so much,” I manage.
The rest of the meeting is a blur, and you couldn’t pay me to tell you what else was said. I walk out when it’s over, still in a haze. I make it to my office, and that’s when Rosa bursts in, practically jumping up and down. “I knew you could do it! Congratulations!”
I hug her back and thank her, but in my head all I keep thinking is I have to call Brent. He was the one who encouraged me to take the job to begin with. Without him, I never would have even turned in an application. He helped me see that I was worth the energy, that I’m good at my job, that I’m amazing…shit. He was right about me.
After Rosa leaves, I pick up my phone and call before I can stop myself.
“Hello?”
“Brent, I got the job!” I burst out.
“What?! That’s fantastic!” he shouts from the other end of the line.
“Listen,” I say, the words spilling out of me in a fountain. “I never could have done this without you. I owe you a huge thank you - why don’t you come over tomorrow night and I’ll cook for you, and maybe we can talk about us?”
There’s a long silence on the other end of the line. “That’s really sweet, Amil, but I don’t want you doing things just because you think it’s what I want.”
“No, no!” I blurt, “Honestly, I just…I want to say thank you. And my parents are in town, and when I tell them I got the job, they’re going to want to meet the guy that helped me out so much.”
I can hear the hesitance in Brent’s voice as he says, “All right. Just dinner, tomorrow night. You do deserve a celebration after all this, at least.”
“Thank you so much! I know it’s weird, it’s just really important to me that you’re there.”
I hang up the phone with Brent, and immediately text Rosa my office! Now! She’s there almost immediately. “What’s up, hon?”
I motion her into the office, and she closes the door behind her. “I need your help with something. Something special.”