Chapter 5 – Mariah
December 24th
I’d forgotten how good it feels to have wind rushing through my hair, and snow whispering under my skis. But now that I’m whizzing down one of the last courses in the blue “intermediate” section (I decided to start off easy, since I’m a little rusty), I wonder why it took me so long to do something like this. To say “yes” to myself, to having a little fun.
As I swish my hips to one side, and gracefully take a curve in the course, I imagine that the snow being spit up from the edge of my skis is all my worries. My inhibitions. All the “work” I’ve been convincing myself I have to do.
Yes, even the promise to my mom is in the slicing snow underneath my gear.
Kicking my hips out in the other direction, I take another corner. Again, my skis slice into the soft powder, sprinkling nearby rocks and trees. As I hear it land on bark and pine needles, I try to ignore the rising feeling of guilt. How Mom might be calling the smart phone I have on silent.
But, since she seems to have a sense for any time I’m feeling guilt, Jane’s voice intercedes on it before I let it get too far. “For someone who wasn’t sure she wanted to come because of all the studying she had to do, you seem to be enjoying yourself, Mariah!”
In addition to being a great convincer, Jane’s an insanely-good skier. Don’t ask me how, but she’s somehow caught up to me. Even with a super late start. That, and she’s skiing backwards, moving her poles in just such a way so that we can keep pace with one another. “See? I told you you needed to get out of the house!”
I smile at her, enjoying the numbness it brings to my lips. “Thank you so much for inviting me to go with you, Jane!” I pick up my ski poles a little, so I can just coast. And so that I don’t get mine tangled up in hers. “Thank you for pushing me to get out of the house.” I adjust my posture a little, to keep the skis straight. “To put myself first for a change.”
“Aww!” Jane’s face melts with tenderness. It’s like I’m a cute little puppy she got for Christmas. “You’re welcome, babe!” Effortlessly she spins herself and her skis around the right way. I see why. We’re almost to the end of this particular slope. “It’s my pleasure. Besides. I didn’t want to come up here by myself.”
I push the tips of my poles into the snow, gaining a bit of speed. Enough to finish out the slope gracefully, and so that Jane isn’t having to talk with me lagging behind. “Well, thank you.” I give myself another smaller push. This one brings me out in front of her, just as the slope levels out. “And I’ve decided something else.”
Jane sinks the ends of her poles into the snow, bring herself to a graceful stop. I do as well, but with a bit of my ski. “Oh, really?” She gives me a mischievous grin. One I’ve seen her use with guys she likes toying with. “And what else have you decided?”
“I’ve decided that I’m going to stop being the good girl,” I say, squaring my shoulders. “I’m going to do what I want for a change, not just what everyone else wants.” I rest myself on my ski poles. “I’m ready to do some new and exciting things! Whatever those things may be.”
Jane looks legitimately happy at my declaration of independence. “Way to go, babe!” She yips exuberantly, catching the attention of some nearby skiers, but that doesn’t stop her from being loud and proud. “See? I knew you had a wild streak in you, Mariah.”
She leans in, bringing me around with her. Together, we come completely off the slope, and head toward a less-traveled area. “So,” she says under her breath, “When you say you’re ready to do some ‘new and exciting things,’ does this include losing your virginity?”
I blush, embarrassed, but not surprised, that Jane’s taken it here. She’s been on me about my virginity for the last year, like it’s hers to lose. “I’m not against it,” I say. I laugh, feeling my cheeks begin to burn. “I just, you know, thought I would wait for the right guy.”
I hazard a look at my friend, not at the snow piled up around me. I can just see her face in the small square of electric light pouring out from the nearest corner of the lodge. She raises her eyebrow at me in a gesture that says, “Girl, you’re gonna be waiting forever that way.”
“But I guess I did just say ‘new and exciting,’ so…” Almost immediately, my mind is swarmed by images of strong guys coasting down ski slopes; soft, but strong older guys offering me hot cocoa; smart and witty instructor-types, giving me tips on how to tackle the bigger, harder slopes. With their bigger, harder packages caressing the back of me as they give me the layout of the course. “So, it might be great to just take a plunge, you know?” My eyes meet Jane’s. It’s clear she approves. It’s also clear she has an idea of where my mind went. “Just have an experience with whomever is out there and available, you know?”
“‘Out there and available’ huh?” The suddenness of the male voice that answers me — the deepness of it – surprises me. The maturity I can hear humming in each sound makes me twirl around on my skis. It must have the same effect on Jane, because she’s twirling around too.
If not for the polls, I might’ve fallen at the beautiful sight coming at me from the covered porch of the lodge. It’s a tall, strong-shouldered man. Even from here I can see his broad chest, finely-molded cheekbones, leading down to a soft but well-defined jaw.
But what really gets me are his eyes. They remind me of a Jaguar’s, just like my favorite actor. The one I masturbated to.
“Well, ladies” — the handsome stranger says ladies, but his eyes quickly lock on to me and stay there, as if seeking something — “we’re out here, and available for some fun, if you’d like to have it.”
I blush, feeling like he’s just pulled away the wall on my thoughts, and now he’s somehow watching my fantasy of getting done doggy style by someone like him.
He smiles the same smile as my favorite actor. A wicked curl on one side of his mouth. Then he says, “You did quite a lot of skiing out there, miss. Quite the natural.”
I look away from his eyes, feeling melted by his words. In contrast to the cold snow and brittle wind, they are like lava slowly burning its way to my center. “T-thank you,” I say, trying not to show how hot I’ve become. “I’m a little out of practice.” Tentatively, I meet his gaze, which hasn’t moved an inch from me.
In a way that turns my stomach into warm, gooey marshmallows, he says, “Oh, so this isn’t your first time, then?”
Heat streaks on to my face as he says “first time,” but I mentally scold myself into not imagining anything about the way his body might feel against mine, or how much of my breasts he could fit in one hand. “No,” I say, working to keep the quiver from my voice. “I just don’t get out skiing much.”
“Oh?” His eyes travel down my ski jacket, but he might as well be looking through that to my bra. An actually cute one, which Jane insisted I wear today. “Why’s that?”
“Studying,” says Jane. “I was lucky to even get her out this far. Usually she won’t do anything, unless it has to do with one of her classes.”
“Well, then maybe the two of you would be interested in some fun with us before getting back to your studies?” It isn’t Mr. Jaguar-Eyes who speaks this time, but one of the guys with him. Someone who looks like he could be his younger brother. Still tall, but slightly shorter. Same dark eyes and hair, but not nearly as ruggedly handsome. More puppy dog like. “I’m sorry my brother was so rude to not invite you sooner.”
“Yeah, a couple of hot babes like yourselves could really go for some good food and drink after all that shredding, right?” The third wheel of this man-pack is definitely not interesting to me. I can smell the cigarette smoke on him, taste the video game addiction on him. Plus, he’s wearing a baseball cap backwards, which is not my thing at all. He’s clearly the younger, more fun one they hang out with, when they’re not doing serious things like making a lot of money, or whatever.
The obviously slightly younger brother steps back in, practically knocking over his baseball-cap-wearing friend. “What my friend here means to say, is that we would love to have you join us for dinner. Food and drinks are on us, if you’d like to come.” He points to himself. “I’m Alex” — he points back to the friend he interrupted — “that’s Jordan, and he is—”
Mr. Jaguar-Eyes takes my hand warmly, and kisses it. “I’m Paul.”
Even through my ski gloves, his lips melt my fingers down to the bone. Again, it’s my ski poles that keep me upright. Keep me from turning into a puddle. “Mariah,” I say, surprised this gorgeous guy hasn’t made me forget my name entirely.
“Mariah.” Paul’s eyes aren’t the only thing like a Jaguar. His voice is too. It practically purrs my name. “That name is beautiful, just like you.” A thoughtful pause. “So, would you and your friend care to join me — us — for a little dinner, drinks and fun?”
As he speaks, I’m trying desperately to look away, to keep his golden-brown eyes from melting my heart and the clothes straight off my body, but nothing I do works. He just keeps commanding my attention. Silently. Urgently. And this makes my pussy begin to flinch. Quiver.
I’m just about to say “yes,” when Jane answers for me.
“No.” My friend’s answer shocks me. I thought for sure she would be the first one to jump on the proverbial boat of sexy. Both me and Paul are shocked. Jane straightens her shoulders and continues, “Mariah and I were planning to go down one more slope before they close for the night, so we can’t go.”
We were planning to do no such thing, but I can’t get up the courage or the nerve to confront her.
Paul looks saddened. “Oh,” he says. “I see.” He lets go of my hand, and backs up. “Well, maybe I’ll catch up with you some other time then, Mariah.” My heart aches seeing the light leave his eyes. And that little mischievous smirk? It’s a frown now. “Have fun skiing.” With that, he turns and walks away.
Justin — Jordan — whatever his name is, follows after, wasting no time in doing some acrobatics to get up on the porch again.
Alex, the brother, is the only one left. He approaches us quietly, handing me a small business-like card. “Well, if you change your mind, this is where we’ll be.” I take the card, and thank him. He gives me a little grin, though it’s nowhere near as sexy as his brother’s. “It’s gonna be quite the party,” he says, and walks away.