Chapter 53 – Brent
I’m getting dressed for dinner when my phone buzzes. It’s a text from Amelia: Don’t think I can make it tonight after all.
Why? What’s going on, Amil?
Everything seemed to have been going great until today. I don’t know what changed, but I really, really don’t like it. I have a feeling it has a lot to do with the ex that she works with, but I don’t feel comfortable confronting her and demanding to know whether that’s true or not. It doesn’t seem fair. But this change is so quick and so drastic…
Still no answer from Amil. Fuck it. This is something that we should talk about in person. If she doesn’t want to do it over dinner, maybe I can catch her at the office before she leaves.
The subway ride back to Amelia’s office building seems to take forever. In reality, it’s probably about twelve minutes. Her building is right across from the subway stop, and as I come up onto the sidewalk, I see the doors of the building open - and there’s Amelia. Perfect timing.
I hurry to the crosswalk, keeping one eye on her, and as I wait for the light to change, a man and a woman, arm in arm, exit the building and walk up to Amelia. Great. Stall her, just a little longer. I don’t know why talking to her seems so important - okay, I know exactly why, but I’m still trying to deny it just a bit, even in my own head.
The light changes, I cross the street - and by the time I get to the front of the building, Amelia is still there, along with the other two. But even from a little ways away, I can tell she’s really unhappy about it.
“Amil!” I call out, and her expression changes to one of relief when she sees me. I walk up to the trio - the other two are a blonde woman who looks more like a model than a lawyer, and a muscular guy carrying himself like he’s the most important guy on the street. It occurs to me a bit too late that he’s probably her ex.
“Hey. I’m glad I caught you before you left.” I smile, but Amelia doesn’t return the expression.
“Is this him?” the woman asks in a simpering tone of voice that grates on my ears from the first syllable.
“I think it is!” the man says. I hate him instantly.
“Brent, what are you doing here?” Amelia asks, looking incredibly uncomfortable.
“I came to see you! You sent me away earlier and wouldn’t answer my texts…what’s going on?”
“Tell him, why don’t you?” the man says to Amelia. “You know what I told you earlier was right. You’re just stringing him along in some big old farce that’s a waste of his time.”
“Amil, who the hell is this guy?” I don’t know what’s happening here, but I don’t like it at all.
“She didn’t tell you about me? Doesn’t surprise me that much. You must be her rebound squeeze. I’m Jason…her ex-fiancé.”
“Oh, so you’re the resident jackass.”
“Ah, so you have heard of me.” For some reason, this seems to give him a strange pleasure.
“Just enough to know that the conversation Amil and I need to have is none of your business.” I step a bit closer to him, unsure of exactly what I’m going to do if this escalates.
Amelia speaks up. “Brent, please just go. I need to…I need to think about all of this. The wedding, the events, us…it’s all just too much.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I’m not worth it, that’s why!” she’s almost crying now. “I don’t deserve your attention, I don’t deserve any of this.”
I can see in her face that she’s telling the truth (or at least what she thinks it is.) I have a feeling that perspective is heavily influenced by the “it” couple who are still watching this all unfold.
Well, that does it. I have to tell her the truth, and I have to tell her now.
“Amil,” I say, “Please, calm down. Listen to me for just a second, all right? It doesn’t matter what you think you deserve, or what these two tell you you don’t deserve. This last month…it’s been the best month of my life. I thought doing these things with you would just be a fun escape for me, and then for both of us, but it’s turned into so much more than that. I want you with me tomorrow, and all the days after that, because…because I love you, Amil. That’s why.”
Amelia stares at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I…I don’t know if I can do this right now. It’s all happening so quickly.”
The rejection cuts into me, but I’m still not angry with her. It’s a bit of a surprise that I’m not, really. I certainly was when Kelly left. Instead of raging at her, I hear myself say, “I don’t believe that, Amil. I don’t think you do either. But I can’t make you love me, or yourself.”
Ignoring the looks from Jason and his harpy, I turn around and walk down the sidewalk. If this was a romcom, this is the moment where Amelia would run after me, telling me to stop, to wait, that I was right.
She doesn’t.