Daytime is normally when I thrive. The sunlight gives me all of the energy I need to take on a day. But as of late, my sunlight has been blocked by antennas extending out from news vans. Even when my house isn’t surrounded by reporters and crowds of concerned locals, I can’t step out onto the sidewalk without a total stranger hounding me with questions I don’t have the answers to. I’ve had to order my groceries through delivery apps. All of this to say, that I’ve become more of a night person as of late.

 

This week alone, I’ve adapted a nocturnal clock and have been able to get a lot done. Not much productive stuff, but I’ve torn through hours of movies and shows I’ve had on my Netflix and Hulu queues. After that, I decided to take a crack at the books I’ve bought over the years but never read. All they’ve done is collect dust.

 

Among my collection of unread books, I found a handful of erotic romance novels I purchased right out of high school, thinking it was the adult thing to do. But it was immediately after high school that I started to work towards opening the daycare, so I never ended up reading them.

 

“Rekindled Love” is the first one I picked out to read during these lonesome nights. A story about a couple of former high school sweethearts reuniting after they went their separate ways following an unfortunate and almost life threatening encounter with drugs. The story itself was very interesting and kept me reading, but the sex scenes were unexpectedly… perfect. The way the main characters’ first sexual encounter after years of being apart is written had my reaching between my thighs. Only a few paragraphs into the first sex scene, I had to stop reading and really appreciate the writing.

 

By that I mean, masturbating to it.

 

“Rekindled Love” has kept my nights interesting, to say the least. I’m currently on the last chapter, where the main characters have done as the title suggests, rekindled their love. They got married and are on a honeymoon where they have some agonizingly hot sex. Agonizing only because I’m not part of it.

 

I slide my panties down and feel myself becoming wet as I read line after line of this incredible final sex scene.

 

I put myself in place of the main character and imagine myself being hoisted up by the love interest’s burly arms. The book doesn’t do a great job of describing the love interest but as I’ve read along, I’ve pictured him to be a tall, tanned, muscular guy with a square jaw and little to no facial hair. I’ve never been a fan of the prickly feeling of a man’s unshaven face.

 

The man carries the protagonist through his lakeside cabin until they reach the upstairs bedroom. He spreads her legs and goes down on her until her pussy is so soaked that his cock slides in with so much ease, it’s as if his penis belonged there and nowhere else.

 

I want to know what that feels like. To have the perfect dick. Or any dick. Well, I’d really prefer the perfect dick if such a penis exists, but at this point, I’d settle for any.

 

For me, high school was a time to study and make friends. Relationships weren’t something I focused on. And since I went right from high school to a long term business venture, I never made any time for dating. And now, here I am. A virgin whose only source of sexual pleasure comes from decade old books people would probably mock me for having.

 

I feel like at this point, if I’m going to have sex it should be with the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, but at times like this when my brain is driven purely by my libido, I crave any sort of dick. I know how easy it is for girls like me to find one night stands on Tinder. I just need to post a picture of my cleavage and I’ll have dozens of options to choose from, ranging from gross to possibly fuckable.

 

Regardless, I have too much on my plate at the moment. Even if I tried one of those dating apps, I’d probably be flooded by trolls who just want to make me feel bad about my daycare being blown up. The internet is a cruel place, after all.

 

I shake those thoughts out of my head and try to continue reading my erotica. I’m back in the cabin with my dream hunk. He’s slowly running his tongue up and down between my pussy lips, lightly flicking my clit each time his tongue reaches it. He holds my legs still as they start to shake out of my control. His tongue is my body’s master now. But he stops. He asks me to take a good look at his meaty weapon. And when I do, I find myself having to wipe some drool off my life.

 

The dick I see before me is bigger than some porn stars’. That’s the perfect dick. A girthy, veiny, powerful cock that can stretch me out with just its head. It’d make me moan. It’d make me scream in satisfying pain. It’d hurt so good. I can picture it throbbing inside of me as it pumps load after load of warm cum into me. I want it all. Every last drop. And even once he’s done, he’s not off the hook. I want him to fuck me until I climax. I want to clench my pussy on his dick so hard, we both finish with a triumphant, exhausted scream.

 

Alone, I’m only able to reach a mostly satisfying orgasm. Nothing that ends with a scream. Just a silent gasp for air as I relax all the muscles I was just contracting.

 

It’s a shame that all I have to comfort me at the moment are these erotic romance novels I can jill off to. But once I step out my room, I have to go back to being the single heroine of my own story.

 

I take a shower to wash off the shameful feeling of still being a virgin who has to resort to her crusty novellas to get off. But when I step out of the shower and check my laptop, I find myself feeling triumphant. Happy even. Happier than I thought I could ever feel.

 

Upon opening my laptop, I’m bombarded by a legion of notifications from GoFundMe. It’s only been six hours since I uploaded the post and we’ve already raised upwards of $2,000. That Devyn really knows how to spread the word. As I look through the list of donors, I see that it’s mostly people I’ve seen pictures of on Devyn’s Facebook. I try to call her but remember that she disconnected her phone due to the absurd amount of people trying to contact her to discuss the fire.

 

I’ll see her soon and I’ll make sure she knows how much I appreciate her hard work.

 

I don’t know if GoFundMe donations will be enough to save the school, but this is a step in the right direction.