Richard

My heart dropped; she wasn’t waiting for me in our bed. Had she taken up residence in one of the guest bedrooms, like she suggested on her first day?

Noticing the light on in the walk in closet, I entered to turn it off before going in search of Mackenzie.

I did not have to search far.

She was asleep, curled up in the armchair in the walk in closet. She was wearing her father’s hunting jacket. She looked peaceful but I knew her neck and legs would cramp if she remained in that position for too long. I had no idea how long she had already been asleep in the chair.

There would be no apologizing tonight. She would most likely sleep in; there would be no apologizing in the morning. I had to be at the office for an important call regarding the launch.

I also had my meeting with Haley.

This was why I did not do relationships. I had a job to do and I couldn’t be distracted with the complications that came with a relationship.

I lifted her from the chair and carried her to the bed. She stirred in my arms, burying her face in my chest. I laid her on the bed and whispered in her ear that I was removing the heavy jacket. She wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping in it.

She was wearing a beautiful white cotton nightgown. It made her look younger, innocent. Virgin white was what sprung into my mind. I handed her the bottle of water I had set on the nightstand. If she did not drink, she would feel the effect dehydration had on the body.

It was my go to. Drink a bottle of water after a night of drinking to replenish what the alcohol would deplete. She was alert enough to drink it without hesitation.

I tucked her in and she reached for me. My jaw clenched. It took all my resolve to not take her. I wanted to make love to her, to remove the stain of what happened in my office.

I never took a woman who was not totally with me, mind and body. Her body was reacting on instinct, as was mine. Her mind was not.

Why couldn’t she be a sloppy drunk? She looked vulnerable, beautiful and so damn fuckable.

I was not going to be able to lay beside her until I took a cold shower and released my load. My engorged cock was causing more discomfort the longer I stood there admiring her. Her soft golden hair laid like a halo on her pillow. The nightgown hugged the subtle curves of her body. I released her arms and tucked her in and left her to take my shower.

It was a long day and I was mentally exhausted. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep.

Makenzie’s movements woke me. She was heading for the bathroom. I hoped she was not going to be sick.

I listened before gently tapping on the door. “Mac, are you okay?”

The door opened. “Yes, I needed to use the bathroom and I really wanted to brush my teeth. My mouth was dry and felt fuzzy, if that makes sense.” She looked paler than usual in the dark room.

“Let me help you,” I offered, taking her hand and guiding toward the bed. She slid in on my side, scooted over and I took my place beside her.

“You’re wearing boxers,” she noted.

“You’re wearing virgin white,” I grinned.

“Is there any water left?” she asked.

Maybe she was not as inebriated as I first believed. She remembered I offered her water earlier. I moved into a sitting position and she joined me. “Here you go,” I reached for the bottle on the nightstand, opened it and handed it to her.

She took the bottle and smiled. “You went and got another one.”

‘Yeah, you finished off the first.”

“Thank you.” She guzzled down the water, after a brief moment of silence, she let out a deep sigh, “I told you I was messed up.”

I took the water and placed it back on the nightstand and slid into a comfortable position. “Come here, baby,” I motioned her to join me.

Were her eyes always this blue? I had stared at them many times, and tonight they shone like sapphires.

As we lay facing each other, I ran my hand down her back and let it sit at the base of her spine. She let out a small gasp. I wickedly grinned. I knew what that spot did to her.

“I’m the one who fucked up, baby,” I confessed. “I never wanted it to be like that with us.” I pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. “I never wanted it to be just sex.”

“You wore a condom.” Her voice quivered and she lowered her eyes.

I placed my fingers under her chin and lifted her gaze to meet mine.

“I always wear a condom when I have sex in the office.” I kept my tone neutral. “I threw them out the minute I was alone. I don’t need them.” I leaned in and gently kissed her on the lips. “I never plan to have sex in my office ever again.”

I released her chin and laid on my back and stared at the ceiling. “Today was the first time I felt ashamed of myself, of my behavior.

Today I felt like a whore.”

“I see.” After a brief hesitation, she added, “So you felt it necessary to bring me down to your level?”

I instantly reacted, turning to face her, I propped myself up on my elbow. I brushed back her hair and held her face in my hands.

“Baby, no, I’m so sorry if that’s how you felt.” I leaned in and passionately claimed her mouth.

She parted her lips to give me complete access. She let out a soft moan and I knew this was what she needed, what we both needed.

“I really fucked up. I’m sorry, baby. Of course that’s how you felt. I let my disgust with myself project onto you.”

I ran my hand to her breasts, fondling them over the soft fabric. I kissed her neck and traced my tongue down her collarbone. Mackenzie’s body reacted and her nipples hardened at my touch.

“This is how it is supposed to be with us,” I lifted my head and met her gaze. “Now you need to get some rest.”

“Are you stopping because you think I’m still drunk?”

“Not drunk, but with how much you drank, definitely a little tipsy. When I make love to you, baby, I want all of you here, body, mind and soul.” I kissed her one more time. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Mackenzie, baby, what possessed you to drink that much?” I snickered. I wanted her to know I was not upset, but rather curious as to her motives.

“I was trying to get into Richard’s head.” Then she let out a small sigh. “Instead, I got into mine. The next I knew, I had drank much more than I intended.”

“Baby, don’t ever try to get inside my head. Sometimes I don’t even like being there.

Why do you think I have Rick on the back burner? So I can get out of my own head.” I rolled over and laid beside her.

I looked into her eyes. “Do you want Rick to take away the hurt Richard caused you, baby?” I hoped I would not come to regret my question.

“No, I want Richard. That’s the man I want to make this right. That’s the man I came to live with. That’s the man I have come to love.”

I pulled her close and cradled her. “I promise I will never make you feel like that again, baby, never.” I meant every word. I was never going to hurt her ever again.

At that moment, I wanted the complications that came with a relationship. But only if that relationship was with Mackenzie. She was worth all the complications in the world.

With one complication out of the way, I needed to figure out what to do with the next.

The one sitting on my coffee table.

The one that could see me lose what I was trying so hard to hold on to.