CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Karina
March
“Do you have everything we’re taking?” I ask Caleb and Mason as we grab bags we’re taking to a Moonshine Task Force lunch.
I’ve never been to one of these before, but Violet told me a little of what would be going on. All the families are invited, and everybody gets to hang out with each other, without having to worry about working. Apparently, they try to have them once or twice a year, and it started after Trevor got hurt. Last night I was up late making potato salad and two different cakes. No matter if I’m tired this morning or not, it made me feel like a member of the team. I never had that sense of community with Braxton, or even with my own family, but here, I’m comfortable enough to pitch in and help whenever it’s needed.
“Yeah.” Mason holds up the bag he’s carrying, nodding to Caleb who has the two cakes in his hands.
“Okay, let me grab the paper plates, and then we can be on our way.”
“I thought Violet was bringing the plates,” Mason yells over his shoulder as we all walk out to his Jeep.
“Oh she’s been in a clusterfuck,” Caleb answers before I can. “The duplex she and Ace live in had a massive flood night before last. She’s been trying to rescue clothes and feeding the crew that came to dry them out.”
Violet had called me and let me know what was going on, and I’d immediately offered to help. “What he said, so I offered to bring them so she didn’t have to worry about it.”
“Shit, that sucks. Ace and I don’t typically work together, but it must not have made it through the grapevine yet.”
Caleb stows everything in the back. “No, it happened super late. Leigh and I had to do some serious maneuvering to cover the Saturday morning crowd today. But as far as I know, everything’s getting dried out, it’s just been stressful. I think Ace may have lost some of his military stuff, and she lost some of her books. It’s all material things, but those things meant a lot to them. Hopefully the company the insurance has called in can save some of it.”
“Same.” I nod. “The least I could do was bring the paper plates.”
“Well I guess I can offer some muscle, if they need help moving stuff,” Mason says as we get into the vehicle. “Somebody remind me to offer if they don’t mention it at the lunch.”
“Seeing you move my furniture was one of the highlights of my life, big guy. I am so totally there for you helping others.”
He glances over at me, giving me a smile before he drops a kiss to my cheek.
“Whatever makes you happy, babe.”
And with an answering smile on my face, we pull out of the driveway, and ride as a family to the MTF gathering.
* * *
I glance over to where Leighton holds Ransom in her arms, trying to shush the crying baby. He’s howled since they got here, and given the way her back is tight with tension; her nerves can’t take much more. My eyes find Holden, who’s standing with Mason, sipping on a beer.
“You think he’s going to go help her?” Violet asks as we watch the scene that’s unfolding.
“I hope so, he’s the father, but they both look completely exhausted.”
“It can’t be easy,” Violet sighs. “With all the guys on rotation being sick lately, I know he’s been pulling some doubles, which has left her at home alone with the baby.”
Leighton comes back in, and even from where I stand, I can see the tears in her eyes, frustration written plainly across her face. It looks like she doesn’t want to interrupt Holden, but Ransom takes care of that as he lets out a wail loud enough to bring the roof down. Interestingly enough, as Violet and I creep over to where they stand, I watch Mason set his bottle down and hold his hands out.
“Mind if I give it a try? Caleb had horrible colic. For a good three months none of us slept, until we learned a trick.”
She all but tosses the baby into Mason’s arms. “If you can make him stop screaming, I might kiss you.”
Holden makes a noise in his throat at what she says while Mason laughs.
“When Caleb had it, everyone gave us all this information, like put the window up, humidifier, everything, but nothing helped. We drove him around and that kind of helped, but we were young and neither one of us had money to drive around for hours at a time until our son would fall asleep. This could totally be why Caleb cradles a football today.” He gives them a grin as he turns Ransom around, draping him over his muscular forearm, belly and face down, resting in Mason’s huge palm. With his other hand, he softly rubs Ransom’s back. “When it was the worst, I’d have to rock Caleb too, but the pressure on the stomach seems to take care of whatever it is that makes them hurt so bad.”
Within minutes, what had been wailing cries have subsided to sniffles, and it looks like he could go to sleep in Mason’s arms.
“How hot is that?” Violet whispers to me as we watch the scene playing out in front of us.
There’s absolutely no way for me to tell her how hot it is for me to watch my boyfriend hold a baby. He’s self-assured, looks like he knows exactly what he’s doing, and it’s hot as hell. Back when he’d been a new parent with Caleb, I’m sure he hadn’t been sure of anything, but right now he’s showing what experience looks like, and it’s sexy.
“So hot, he’s getting laid tonight,” I joke, as she laughs, spitting out part of the drink she’s just taken.
“You two go get something to eat, enjoy your dinner. Ransom and I will be fine over here,” Mason’s telling them.
“Are you sure?” Leighton asks, probably scared to leave her son.
“It’s been a really long time since I held one this small, but I got this.” He gives her a wink.
“C’mon babe, let’s enjoy a meal.” Havoc turns her over to where the food has been set up.
As they excuse themselves, I excuse myself from Violet, walking toward where the two of them sit.
“Hey.” I give him a smile as I have a seat next to him.
“Hey,” he answers, his voice softer than normal.
“I had no idea you were the baby whisperer,” I tease as I reach over, pushing a small tuft of hair out of Ransom’s face.
He sighs in his sleep, pursing his lips, and in the blink of an eye I can see a child that looks like both Mason and I. Can see him holding the child like he’s holding Ransom, and a longing with which I’ve never felt hits me hard.
Mason shrugs. “Even though I was young, I was good with him. Typically, it would be me up with him at night.”
“Why does that not surprise me?” I try to keep my tone light, in case Caleb is anywhere around. I never want him to think I’ve said something about his mom, even if they don’t have any kind of relationship.
“I always wanted more.”
He blows my mind as he drops that bomb. “You did?”
“Yeah.” He looks down at Ransom, a longing in his eyes I’ve never seen before. The side of his mouth tilts up, disrupting the smoothness of his face. “But I never found anyone I could see myself having one with, and now I feel like I’m too old. I mean, I’ve raised Caleb. Do I really want to start completely over?”
My stomach does a drop I’m not prepared for when I hear those words.
“But then I think, this time I could do all the things I wanted to do. I wouldn’t be away for two years, I wouldn’t be struggling to put a roof over his head the first few years of his life, and I wouldn’t be growing up at the same time as him.” Mason bites his lip. “I don’t know, maybe I lost my chance.”
“Do you think you did?” I ask quietly.
His dark eyes lift up to mine. “Do you want the truth?”
The air between us is heavy with something I can’t name. It feels as if everything we’ve built, everything we’ve gone through with one another balances on this exchange. “I always want the truth; we haven’t come this far by lying to each other. Even that first night.”
“If I had the right woman with me, I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.”
The words flow out before I can think to stop them, before I can force myself to stop them. “A woman like me?”
He reaches up, cupping my jaw in his hand, shoving his fingers behind my ear and up into my hair. “Yeah.” He leans in, kissing me softly. “A woman like you. You’re the only other person I’ve ever thought about having a kid with. There’s something about you, Rina.”
I close my eyes, leaning my forehead against his. “I never knew it was something I wanted until I saw you with Ransom, but fuck if my ovaries aren’t aching right now,” I giggle.
“That hot, huh?”
Pulling back, I give him a smile. “If you could see what I’m seeing, you’d get it, Mason.”
“I’ll remember this for later,” he threatens. “When I’m on your nerves and I don’t want you to put your cold feet on my legs, I’ll remind you of how hot I am right now.”
“Whatever works for you, big guy.”
We’re quiet for a few minutes, until he blows my mind again. “I’m serious, you know. I want more out of life than what I’ve been getting. The way I’m looking at it, that means a future with you, Rina. So if you aren’t down for that, we should probably stop while we’re ahead.”
“I’m totally down for it. Maybe not kids this weekend, but I’m on the same wavelength as you.”
He grins, one of those smiles that splits his face, showing off the experience there. Some would call them crow’s feet and the laugh lines, but I love them. As much as I’m coming to love this man sitting beside me.
“So we’ll hold kids off for a few weeks. No impregnating this weekend.”
Truth be told, it sounds fun. Not having to worry about protection with him, being able to be as spontaneous as we want to be. Dear God, don’t let me mess this up. If I’m not careful, I’ll be completely and hopelessly in love with this man, and there won’t be any going back from it.