CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Karina
September
“I’m so tired.” I yawn loudly as I lay on the couch, my feet in Mason’s lap. We’re watching something on TV, trying to avoid doing yardwork in the early September heat. “I feel like I’m coming down with something.” I close my eyes, snuggling into the cushions.
“You were tired a lot this week,” he comments as he grabs the cover off the back and covers me up with it. “Was it hectic at school?”
“Not particularly, which is why I think I’m coming down with something. My stomach wasn’t happy with me this morning.” I mention the other symptom I had. “Maybe if I just take a nap, I’ll feel better.” I turn into the couch, hugging one of the pillows.
The next thing I know, Mason’s shaking my shoulder. “Rina, you’ve been asleep for two hours, time to get up.”
I fight against the lethargy holding me down. Working against the exhaustion to prop myself up. “Two hours?”
“Yeah.” He runs a hand down my face. It’s my favorite hand. His left hand that holds the ring I put there a month and a half ago. The coolness feels good to the warmth of my skin. “Babe, are you okay?” His eyes are worried, a frown mars his gorgeous face as he stares hard at me. “I know we haven’t been together years and years, but in the months I’ve known you, I haven’t ever seen you be this tired or this rundown.”
“I know.” I push my hair back from my forehead, stomach growling. “I’m starving now, and I feel like I have a bit more energy.”
“I made you a grilled cheese!” His voice is proud now that he’s finally mastered it. “Even though I fuckin’ learned after my kid is grown and out of the house.” He has a seat next to me, as I pull my legs up to my chest.
“Just like I did for Caleb when he was sick?” I smile thinking of my stepson. “Have you talked to him lately?”
Mason takes a bite of one of the two sandwiches on the plate in front of him. “He called earlier while you were asleep. Said to tell you high and he loves you, he’ll text later.”
Taking another bite of the food, I breathe through my nose as the food threatens to come back up. Throwing it down, I concentrate on trying to keep the food inside my body. When I know it won’t work, I throw back the blanket I’m covered with and head for the trash can in the kitchen, right as I lose it all. Mason is behind me, holding my hair, trying to keep it from getting dirty, rubbing my back as I heave deeply. As I’m done, he directs me over to the sink where with shaking hands, I clean up and then turn to face Mason.
He looks lickable, leaning against the opposite cabinet, staring at me with those dark eyes of his. His arms are crossed over his chest, the ink on his forearm standing out to me as I make a feast of his body. When I get to his face, his mouth is set in a firm line.
“What?” I tilt my head to the side.
Pushing off the counter, he stands in front of me, grasping my chin with his thumb and index finger, making our gazes meet. “Rina.” He stops speaking, using his other hand, he pushes it down my body, stopping on my stomach. “Have you even thought?” He lets the question hang there in the air.
“Before school started.” I swallow hard, remembering that afternoon where we’d joked about getting pregnant. The one last hoorah of debauchery before we both had responsibilities and early wake up times. “Do you think? Mason, it couldn’t have happened the first time we tried, right?”
“All it takes is once,” he whispers as he crowds into my space. “You weren’t on birth control before.”
He’s right, I wasn’t, but I always assumed getting pregnant would be this long, drawn-out process, with plans, and charts, and temperature taking. But maybe when you’re the happiest you’ve ever been, throwing caution to the wind and letting love encompass every part of your soul, you’re given a miracle. “You really think so?”
“Only one way to find out, babe.”
* * *
Not even in my wild youth have I ever suspected I was pregnant. Me and my ex-fiancé never had a scare. I’ve always been more cautious than the next person, just because that’s my personality. Mason is the first person I’ve ever been unprotected with. It strikes me as funny when I think of what that really means. I don’t hide anything from him, he gets it all unfiltered and unprotected. The sex, the love, the heart, the mouth, and he accepts all of it. It’s just the way he is.
And right this moment, I never imagined we’d be where we are. At a drugstore the next town over, picking up a pregnancy test. We’d decided to go this far out of our way because we didn’t want to run into anyone we know and get a rumor started. But I can’t help the way my hand shakes as we walk through the store.
“It’s over there,” I whisper as I point to the aisle with Family Planning hanging over it.
When we turn the corner, we’re faced with more options than I ever thought possible.
“Jesus Christ.” Mason glances at me. “Which one do we get?”
“You’ve done this before,” I remind him as I start to feel queasy again.
“Oh, not this part,” he’s quick to correct me.
“How did you find out about Caleb?” I’m honestly curious, and this is something we haven’t talked about before.
“This one of those questions, Rina?” He references back to our twenty-question type game we played when we first got together.
Do I really need to know how this happened to him before? Do I want to subject myself to what he went through with another woman? Before the answer would have been no, a very quick and adamant no. But today, starting what will hopefully be a new version of our family, I want to know.
“Yeah, I’d like to know.”
He blows out a deep breath, running his free hand through his hair. “Her mom actually told me. I guess she had morning sickness and eventually they got it out of her. At ten in the morning, someone was beating on my bedroom door, screaming at me that I was a no-good piece of shit.”
My heart breaks for him. To be as young as he was, and to be thrust into a situation such as that, with no planning and no warning – it was probably the scariest moment of his life.
“When I finally woke up, I was a heavy sleeper back then, and came out, her mom, my mom, and Maggie were standing there all facing me like I should have known what they were talking about.”
“Where was your dad?” I ask quickly, the first thought that popped into my head.
“At the time he was at work, and then he wanted nothing to do with me because I’d ruined my life.” He puts his hands in his pockets. “We talk every once in a while now, but I’ve made peace with it. He left me, not the other way around. Anyway, her mom pushes her toward me, tells me she’s pregnant, and I’m responsible for the both of them now.”
“What did you do?”
“I was panicked and shocked. I did probably what any kind my age would have done. I asked her if it was mine.”
“Oh shit, Mason.” I rub my face as those words come out of his mouth. “You didn’t?”
“I did, and she slapped me, her mom slapped me, and my mom cried in the corner. It was all a hot mess. Eventually everyone calmed down, and the whole story came out. So to answer your question, I wasn’t there for this part. I wasn’t even there for the sonograms,” he admits. “There’s a lot of things I wanna do differently this go round, and the first one is to take care of you. So let’s get a test and see what’s happening.”
My heart pounds as I grip his hand in mine, looking out over the tests that will potentially change our lives. Without even thinking, I grab one, not sure which one it is and not even caring.
“If I’m pregnant, it doesn’t matter how much it costs or what brand it is, it’ll still give me the answer I need.” We make our way to the checkout; I reach in to a cooler, grabbing the biggest bottle of water I can find. “Gonna have to pee on it, right?”
Mason smiles, pulling me close as we stand in line. “You okay?” he asks softly, his breath pushing up tufts of my hair.
“Nervous, but good. If it happens, it happens. If this isn’t it, we’ll try again. It’s still something you want, right?”
“I want it all with you, Rina, never ever think that I don’t.”
When it’s our turn, I feel good as we put our purchase on the counter, pay for it, and quickly leave. As soon as we’re in the Jeep, I’m cracking open the bottle of water and drinking it down. Determined not to have to wait much longer to find out what in the world is actually going on.
Menace
There have been times in my life when I’ve not been sure how to feel, how to react. This isn’t one of them. Sitting on the bed and tapping my foot is all I can do though while I wait for Karina to come out of the bathroom. It’d be weird if I was in there while she peed on the stick. We aren’t that type of couple yet. I’m not sure if we ever will be, if I’m honest. As she comes out, I stand. “How long do we have to wait?”
She’s holding the test in her hands. “It says to wait three minutes, but unless this second line goes away in that time, we’re pregnant.”
Her eyes meet mine, and I rush across the room to pick her up in my arms. “Rina, you sure?”
Tears are quietly streaming down her face as she nods. “Look.” She holds the test up for me to look. Sure enough there are two lines. Two lines means pregnant.
Even though I’ve been here before, I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest. It’s different this time. Instead of feeling fear, all I feel is excitement.
“Should we tell Caleb?” she asks, wiping the tears from under her eyes.
“God I love you.” I kiss her deeply, savoring the moment I have with her. The fact that in the middle of finding out she’s pregnant for the first time, she thinks about Caleb. “Yes, but let’s emphasize he should keep it quiet until we’re ready to announce it to people.”
“I love you, too.” She smiles so brilliantly at me, and I lose my heart to her again. If anyone ever asked me, I literally wouldn’t be able to list all the ways she’s changed my life since she walked into it, heels clicking, hips swaying. “Should I text him or FaceTime? He might be in class, or he might be doing something important,” she worries. His schedule changes up depending on what day and what he has going on.
“He’ll love whatever you do,” I try to reassure her.
Setting her down on the ground, I watch as she grabs her phone and takes a quick picture of the test as it sits on the bathroom counter. Coming over to her, I slide in behind, wrapping my arms around her waist, kissing her neck as she texts Caleb.
K: The reason I was asleep when you called.
She attaches a picture of the pregnancy test to the message. “How long do you think it’ll be until he checks it?” she asks as she leans back into me.
“If it were me, a couple hours, maybe a full day. Since it’s you, and you rank higher on his priority list than dear old dad does, he’ll see it within the hour, or even minutes.” My voice is dry as I make fun of how quickly he answers her, and how slowly he answers me.
When the phone rings, I give her a pointed look. “Told ya.”
“You’re on speaker.” She sets the phone down as we listen to his voice on the other end.
“Are you two fucking kidding me? Seriously? I’m going to be an older brother?”
“Better late than never, right?” I joke with him, remembering how he used to ask for a sibling when he was younger.
“I’ll be the best big brother on the planet, and whatever this is, brother or sister, couldn’t ask for a better mom and dad.”
Karina and I look at each other, her emotions plain as day in her eyes. Caleb’s words have touched her, they’ve touched me too. Sometimes I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve him. “Thanks, Son, we’ll let you go, we’re sure you’re busy.”
“Never too busy for news like this. I’m assuming I need to keep this quiet?”
“Please, until we have all the info and were sure things are fine.”
I squeeze Karina in my arms as she buries her head in my shoulder.
“Will do, I gotta go to class, but please let me know what’s going on. Just because I’m here doesn’t mean I can’t be home soon if I need to be.”
We all hang up with plans to get together for the weekend, and as I’m left with Karina, we smile at one another. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a nap. This has been an exciting day.”
Wrapping her arms around me I hear her muffled voice. “Mason Harrison, you are speaking my language.”
Standing up, I wrap her legs around my waist and walk us over to the bed. Wordlessly, we strip, and after I pull the sheets back, we fall in between them together. When we lie down, I curl around her, her back against my chest, and my hand on her stomach. In my arms lies everything I live for. The only thing missing is the other piece of my heart in Tuscaloosa, but I’m realizing more and more every day, it’s time to let him go, let him live is own life.
As I drift off to sleep, I do so with one of the biggest smiles I’ve ever had spread across my face.