Chapter 5
Kendra
It was as if the universe was laughing at me. The fight with Jessica and Sarah had left me thinking about and even dreaming about what happened so long ago. Here I was, thinking about a man I hadn’t laid eyes on in ten years and then out of the blue, I get a message from him that he wants to talk. It was strange to think or wonder how that happened. I wasn’t sure I liked the feeling that it gave me and the more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was too big of a coincidence to think of it that way.
I didn’t reply at first. I actually didn’t open the social media app for several days because I didn’t want to see the name and the short and cute little message that he had sent. He wanted to meet up and catch up. What did that even mean? Catch up on what? Life? It just didn’t make any sense to me and the more I thought about it, the more I knew that it was a horrible mistake. It just wasn’t meant to be. We weren’t meant to be together then and that hadn’t changed. The man broke my heart and I wasn’t going to let him do it again.
“Not today Satan.”
I mumbled the words to myself as I clicked the deny button. Nothing good was going to come from reintroducing him into my life and I didn’t need the complications. It was just like I told the girls, men aren’t worth the trouble.
But it appeared that Dennis was still the same and he was still finding it hard to take a no for an answer. Instead of just leaving me alone, he sent another request. I denied it rather quickly, but they just kept coming. After the fourth one, I decided that I was just going to ignore it altogether. I didn’t want to worry about him and I can’t think of anything that we needed to get involved with again. It was like picking the scab off of an old wound and that didn’t seem to make any sense to me. Dennis was a very old wound and I didn’t want to mess with it or him.
He wasn’t getting the hint though and I finally just left it pending. I had enough things to worry about without a man from my past coming in to take over my mind. I just couldn’t and I didn’t want to. Dennis was dangerous in so many ways and I felt like I had learned my lessons in the last decide. I had learned to stay away from men like him. He made my heart race and my palms sweaty. That just couldn’t be a good thing, especially when I knew what he was capable of doing to me.
***
Friday morning I got up early and went to the gym. It was usually a sure-fire way to get my mind off of everything for a while, but today it just wasn’t cutting it. I had too much on my mind and I couldn’t clear it like I usually could. I wish I would have been able to. It would have made life so much easier to deal with. It would have made dealing with Dennis’ attention all of a sudden a whole lot better as well.
“Are you okay Kendra?”
I heard the words and then my name, but I wasn’t really listening. I was too lost in my own head. He said something else and I turned around with a smile. “Hey Mark. How are you?”
“I’m good. You look like you are a million miles from here this morning.”
Mark was a guy that I saw a couple of times a week in class. He kept asking me out and I declined, but we did flirt. He was cute and I told him I wasn’t looking, but he tried anyways. It was refreshing to know that at least not all of my life had went off kilter since hearing from Dennis, though I didn’t like the idea that everyone could tell I had other things on my mind. I hated the fact that I was never good at hiding my emotions, no matter how much I wanted to.
“Just got a lot on my mind. How is your week going?” Anything to get us off of the subject of where my mind was.
“It is going good. It would be going a lot better if I could end it with a date with you. We could get some breakfast or lunch, anything that you have time for.”
“I can’t get away from lunch at work. I get paid straight through and they expect me to stay on the premise in case something happens. There has to be a certain amount of staff on site at all times.”
“Dinner?”
He had that hopeful look in his eyes again. It was the look that I had shot down time and time again, but this time was different. I had the thoughts of Dennis keeping me up at night and all I really wanted to do was get that thought out of my head. Maybe it was Mark that would help me.
“Sure. How about eight? You pick the place.”
The grin on his face was ever growing and for that alone I wasn’t going to regret the decision. He was happier than I think I had ever felt in a long time and he was quite handsome in his own way. Truth was that he was the opposite of Dennis and I think I needed that aspect of it all more than anything else. I wanted to get as far away from Dennis in body and mind as possible.
Mark was lean and wiry with a great sense of humor. He had great eyes, blue like mine but light and more piercing. They looked right through me and in that instant there was attraction there that I hadn’t noticed before. Was it because I wasn’t looking?
“Great, I will see you tonight then Kendra . Do you want me to walk you out to your car?”
I shrugged and told him that I would appreciate it. As we walked out, I said goodbye to a few more people and wondered what it was I was doing. Mark was so different than me, but maybe that was a good thing. My usual suspects never seemed to be good for me, so maybe it was time to try something else. Mark was sensitive and more like what I was looking for. Or at least he was more like what I thought I was looking for in a man. He was certainly what I was looking for in a distraction.
“So can I ask you a question?” Mark was looking at me eagerly.
“Sure, what’s up?”
“What changed your mind?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well I have been asking you out on a weekly basis for over a year and now you say yes? What changed it?”
I giggled a little and I guess I could see what he was talking about. Would it be so believable if I was in his spot? I don’t know if I would be, but I really didn’t have much of an answer for him. My real reason wasn’t a good one and I didn’t want to upset him with it, hell I don’t know if I could say it out loud or not.
“It just seemed like the time to say yes to you. You are very persistent Mark.”
He smiled at me, but I could tell that he had more to ask. It was right on his face, but something must have told him to hold it in. I am glad he did but I was happier that I didn’t have to come clean or make something else up.
Mark opened the door for me and again told me he was looking forward to tonight. I was starting to look forward to it as well. I ignored the app on my phone that said I had a new request. I had a feeling I knew who it was. I wasn’t even going to look at the phone again.
***
I went to work and ignored the thoughts in my head. I stayed busy with another field trip for the girls. Craig was being friendly as well and for a moment I thought he was going to ask me out as well. He liked me, I know he did, but he had never let it go any further than a few looks. Something was going on and I swear it all started with Dennis. It was like he had awakened something inside of me and now every man around could tell that I was open for business.
When it was time to get off, I almost called Mark and canceled. I shouldn’t have told him yes, it wasn’t my intention, but merely a knee-jerk response to Dennis popping back up. Did I think if I was with someone else it would be easier?
I met Mark at the restaurant and he had dressed up in a button down and slacks. It was vastly different than when I saw him at the yoga place. “You look different Mark.”
“I just got back from work. Sorry I didn’t have time to change.”
“So what do you do for a living?”
I expected something in movies or finance. Every guy I met was in one of the two.
“I am in advertising.”
“Oh, well that sounds interesting.”
“It can be, but it is more tedious than anything else. I just got on with the biggest firm in Miami, but the boss is a real ball buster. I was there when his father still ran things, now everything is so different. I have only met Dennis once, but he was just so intense. I have never met anyone like him before.”
He was talking about him not like he was afraid or didn’t like him. Mark was talking about his boss like he was the best thing ever. But it was the name that threw me off. Of all of the names, of course his boss’ name would be Dennis.
“So where do you work?”
“Yearling and Sons. It’s over by the beach. The place stresses me out to no end, but they have great views. That is why I got into yoga. I thought I was going to lose my mind over there if I didn’t find something to get my mind off of things. Need something to clear the mind at the end of the day with all of the pressure they heap on us to make the sale.” He paused and looked at me with concern. “Are you okay?”
I felt like all of the air had been sucked out of my lungs and there was nothing left in the room to refill them. I knew that I had heard the name, the one I dreaded to hear and I didn’t know what to say. Could this all really just big one big coincidence? Was this all some kind of sign?
“Yes, I am fine. The name just sounded familiar.”
“Who Dennis?”
I shook my head, but I couldn’t bring myself to say his name out loud. Was that the same Dennis Yearling? I could have bet that it was. That was the way this month was going for me. My old flame just kept popping up and I wasn’t sure what that meant. But I wasn’t going to let on with Mark. I didn’t want him to know anything more.
“Yes, but I am sure that it isn’t the same one that I went to school with. I bet that is a rather common name.”
Mark wasn’t sure, he had that look again like he didn’t know if I was being truthful or not. I was, I was just leaving a bit out. That didn’t seem too awfully bad.
“Enough about that, tell me about your day Mark.”
He did and it was boring. He had a bunch of meetings and his job was to write slogans and ad lines for different products. It was boring me to tears, but he was lighting up. Mark enjoyed his job and I enjoyed the good vibes that came off of him if nothing else.
“I am glad we went out Mark. I never would have guessed you were so funny.”
“That’s a good thing?”
“Yes, that is a very good thing.”
“Good enough to talk you into a night cap at my place?”
He wasn’t asking if I wanted a drink. It was pretty clear what he was asking and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. But I needed to be. There had to be a way to get this man out of my mind, even if I had to have a one night stand to achieve it. I was ready to do anything that it took.
Mark wasn’t my type, but that was the point. He was the opposite of Dennis is so many ways and I hoped that it would help me get over the constant need that I had felt since I heard from Dennis. I couldn’t have him, but I missed the way he touched me and I hoped that Mark was able to get my mid from the one I couldn’t have. If only for one night.