I stared at Alessio in complete shock, my lips parted in astonishment. My gaze moved from his and to the sofa chair where the jacket sat.
“How?” Looking back at Alessio, he stared at me with knowing eyes.
Realization sank in and my stomach dropped. I brought a hand up to my neck and rubbed it nervously. His eyes tracked my movement and then he cleared his throat.
“You were the one who kept the jacket there?” I questioned, my voice barely audible. I had asked the question but the answer was already clearly written on his face. Alessio’s face softened at my question and he gave me a sharp nod.
Shaking my head, I tried to get rid of the web of confusion. “But how?”
Alessio let out a tiny sigh and raked his fingers through his hair, a sign of either nervousness, frustration, or anger. But in this moment, I didn’t know what he was feeling.
“I heard you and Maddie talking. When she asked you about my jacket.” His eyebrows furrowed when I took a step back.
“Ayla—”
He cared.
And that wasn’t something I expected from Alessio. Not from a man who was supposed to be ruthless, heartless, and a killer.
Tears blinded my vision and I swallowed past the heavy lump forming in my throat. This moment felt surreal. A fragment of my imagination.
But it was real.
I opened my mouth to say something. Anything. I just didn’t want this moment to vanish. I didn’t want to lose this feeling that was blooming in my heart.
But when I finally spoke, my words came out as an accusation. “You were spying?” I asked.
I flinched at my own tone and I saw Alessio’s eyes widen before his back straightened in a rigid posture.
“I was not,” he replied, looking very much affronted. “I heard you and Maddie when I was walking down the hallway.” He paused and then rubbed his jaw, giving me a sheepish look. “Well, I did stop when I heard Maddie ask about the jacket. I was curious.”
He shrugged and walked toward me, stopping right in front of me. Alessio brought a hand up and trailed a finger down my cheek, swiping my tears away. “Can’t blame me. Anyone would be curious.”
Cupping my cheeks in his hands, Alessio tilted my head up. “Why are you crying, Ayla?”
“You gave me your jacket,” I whispered brokenly and then closed my eyes. I sounded so pathetic.
“I did,” he agreed. I felt his thumb right under my eyes and he rubbed the spot gently. Instinctively, my hand came up and I grabbed hold of his jacket in a death grip, holding him close to me. Alessio was my anchor.
“Open your eyes,” he muttered. My fingers tightened around him and my eyes fluttered open with his soft command.
“But you won’t need it anymore,” Alessio said. His words rang with finality and I shivered in his arms.
“What do you mean?” I murmured. He smiled at my question and bent down, brushing his lips gently over mine.
“I’d rather show you,” he whispered against my lips before claiming them in a hard kiss. He let go of my face and brought his hands down, wrapping them around my tiny waist as he pulled me closer into his body.
My body molded to his. Hard against soft. His hold was unyielding as I returned his kiss with just the same intensity. I was lost in him when he pulled away and I moaned in protest. “Shhh. I’ve got you,” he muttered through the hazy fog that clouded my thoughts.
Alessio bent down, sliding an arm behind my back and my knees before lifting me up in his arms, cradling me to his chest.
“What?” I said.
He chuckled low in my ear and placed a kiss there. “Relax, Ayla,” he soothed, his voice deep and rough.
At his words, I instantly relaxed in his arms and wrapped my hands around his neck. “Where are you taking me?”
“You ask too many questions,” he said. Alessio looked down at me, his lips tilted up in a small smirk, his eyes gleaming with intensity—the same intensity that made me weak in the knees and my heart flutter every time.
“But…”
His arms tightened around me in warning. As Alessio walked us down the hall and stopped in front of his bedroom, I didn’t have to ask any questions. He didn’t look down at me when he opened the door, but I saw a ghost of a smile on his lips.
He walked inside and kicked the door shut. As soon as we were in the middle of the room, he lowered me down until my feet hit the floor. Alessio turned me around so that I was facing him.
“You won’t be needing my jacket anymore because you will be sleeping with me.”
I knew it was coming. I knew what he would say but the words still took me by surprise. “Alessio,” I whispered, taking a step closer to him. He cupped my jaw and rubbed his thumb over the curve. I pressed my cheek into his palm and a sigh of contentment whispered past my lips.
“But why?” I asked, wanting to understand him further.
Alessio smiled wide and rested his forehead against mine. “I had the best sleep last night,” he said.
I moved closer. He was the same as me. I melted into his body, his sweet words, soft eyes and gentle touch taking over my senses.
“It’s simple. You need me, and in some ways, I need you too,” Alessio continued, his gaze intense. I swallowed hard and brought my hand up, placing it over his. “You…calm me.”
Just like he was my peace…I had the same effect on him.
Bringing my other hand up, I placed it over his cheek. “You bring me peace. I don’t know how. But you do. You make it all go away. The pain. The darkness. The hurt. I feel peace when I’m with you.”
I saw Alessio smile and he slowly brought his lips down to mine. “I know,” he whispered back before taking my lips. He moved his hand to the back of my head, holding me firmly. His kiss was soft and sweet.
“We should go to sleep,” he said, pulling back. His voice was husky and rough. The way his eyes glinted dangerously in the light, I knew that was the last thing he wanted to do.
But I was grateful he stopped there. I wasn’t ready for more. Whatever was between us at the moment…it was already too much.
Alessio let go of me and I stepped back. “I need to change. Get yourself comfortable.” He nodded toward the bed.
I watched him go into the bathroom and close the door behind him. As soon as he was out of sight, I moved back to his bed.
I still remembered the first time we met, his eyes filled with fury and his gun pointed at me.
All I could see now was affection in his soft gaze. All I felt were gentle caresses. He was no longer the killer I met the first time.
He might be a monster out there, but to me he was my savior. My anchor.
Moments later, he returned wearing only grey sweatpants, his chest bare
“Oh.” My mouth fell open as I took him in, my gaze drawn to his muscular body. Lean, big, and hard. He was sculpted, beautifully rugged. Intense, dark, dangerous.
There were still some droplets of water on his perfectly tanned body. But what got most of my attention were the tattoos weaved around the length of his arms, ending just above his elbows. The most prominent looked Celtic and almost tribal in design but I couldn’t make out the other design.
It was dark, intense, and fierce…just like him.
Alessio walked toward me and my gaze roamed over broad shoulders and chest. He stopped in front of me and I had to tilt my head up. He was so big and powerful like this.
“Do you mind if I sleep like this?” he asked. “I usually sleep naked, but I thought you wouldn’t be comfortable with that. I can accommodate with the sweatpants, but I hate sleeping with shirts.”
“Umm…right.”. Shaking my head, I tried to find my voice. “I mean, yes. I’m okay with this.”
Alessio brought his hand up and trailed a finger up from my jaw to my ear, moving my hair to the side. “Good.”
He leaned forward until his lips were right next to my ear. “Let’s sleep,” he said, placing a kiss there before stepping away. He had a smirk on his face and he wasn’t even trying to hide it. His blue eyes gleamed with a devilish glint as he nodded toward the bed.
Instead of standing up, I pushed myself back on the bed and crawled backward until I was on the right side, close to the window. Alessio followed my each and every movement, his eyes burning brighter with intensity.
My fingers tightened around the comforter and I swallowed hard, my body trembling slightly under his fierce gaze. He must have seen my nervousness because he cleared his throat and looked away.
I turned toward the window, purposely facing away from him.
I heard him shuffling around the room and then the lights were off, casting darkness around the room, with only a tiny glow coming from behind me.
Thank goodness. I hated sleeping in the dark.
The bed moved under his weight as he got in. The comforter shifted and then I felt his heat next to me. We both stayed silent, unmoving. Only our slow breathing filled the room. I placed a hand over my chest, trying to calm my pounding heart, hoping he didn’t hear it.
Then he moved closer. My heart stuttered as I waited for his next move. I bit on my lips when I felt his arm around me.
Alessio pulled me into his body until my back was against his front, tangling his heavy legs with mine as his arm curved almost fully around my body.
“Alessio,” I whispered, my heart going wild in my chest.
He brought his face next to mine and I felt his lips at my temple. When he said nothing and his breath evened out, I placed my hand over his, which was wrapped around my stomach.
“Alessio?”
His arm tightened around me and he gave me a powerful squeeze. “Sleep,” he ordered, his voice soft even with his demanding tone. My hand pressed hard against his as I contemplated what just happened.
“Ayla, stop thinking so hard. Sleep.”
At his words, I sighed and relaxed, settling into his body.
And that was how I fell asleep. With Alessio wrapped around me like a vine, his lips on my temple, and our hands entwined together.
***
A week later
It had been three weeks since I cut myself and my last nightmare. I was supposed to remove my stitches a few days ago but Sam said it was better to keep them in for a little longer to make sure the cut was sealed properly.
So much happened in those weeks.
My relationship with Alessio was growing stronger each day. His patience and gentleness sang to my heart. He was considerate and never pushed for more.
My feelings for him was indescribable, and Maddie was on cloud nine.
I finally understood what she meant when she said her ship was sailing. Shaking my head, I smiled. She was so silly but the greatest friend and sister anyone could ever ask for. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be here, happy.
Looking up at the clock, I said, “Almost time. He told me to see him before lunch.”
“Want me to come with you?”
“Of course. I’m expecting you to,” I replied, putting the cut vegetables in the bowl next to me.
“What about Alessio?” she asked.
“He said he is busy,” I muttered.
I heard her sigh beside me, making me look up.
“Artur has been pretty busy lately too. Something is wrong with the clubs, from what I’ve heard.”
I nodded and wiped my hand in my apron. “Alessio has been a little stressed out. Always lost in his thoughts. I tried to get him to talk to me but he said he didn’t want to worry me about his problems.”
Maddie shook her head with an exasperated sigh. “Artur said the same thing. Men.” She washed her hands. “Let’s go.”
Sam was already waiting for us in his office. He gave us a small smile as we settled in.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m great,” I said.
“Any nightmares?”
Shaking my head, I presented him my arm as he got his stuff ready. “No. No more nightmares.”
He nodded and took my arm in his hand. “Good. Are you taking your medicines on time?” This time, he looked at Maddie.
She nodded and placed a hand on my shoulders. “I give her the medicines on time. It’s all good.”
“If you feel a little uneasy with my removing the stitches, just avert your gaze. I’ll be done in no time,” Sam suggested.
“Okay,” I said, looking away.
While Sam worked on getting my stitches out, Maddie talked. Sam even joined sometimes, making some random jokes. I didn’t even realize when he was done until he said so.
“Done,” Sam said, leaning back and pushing his chair away. I looked down at my arms.
They were free of the stitches but not from the scars. From where the stitches used to be, there was a faint pink line.
Sam noticed me looking. “It’s going to take some time for the scars to fade away.”
The words made my heart ache. He might have been talking about the scars on my arms but the words meant more to me.
It would take some time for my scars to fade. My physical scars and my emotional scars. I didn’t know how long it was going to take for me to be rid of them.
I was finally living a life but the scars ran too deep. Sometimes, I wondered, would I ever forget and move on fully?
“Cocoa butter is a great way to help. I would suggest you apply it on your scars every day or two. Depends on you. I will prescribe you a tube of scar-fading cream. That might help,” Sam said.
I nodded. “Okay. Thank you.”
“But it will take some time. Even years,” he added.
“I know,” I replied, finally looking up. Sending him a smile, I continued, “At least they will fade, right? Even if it takes years.”
Maddie’s hand tightened on my shoulder.
“That’s the spirit,” Sam said.
“Your scars are your strength,” Maddie added and I looked up at her. “They show what you have been through and that you are still here, fighting. They are a part of you.”
“You’re going to make me cry,” I joked lightly even though her words meant everything.
But then another voice was added to the mix. This time I did cry.
“And it shows that you are stronger now.”
I looked up through tear-filled eyes to see Alessio standing in the doorway.
He sent me one of his beautiful smiles and he walked into the room. “I’m sorry I’m late. I was held back at the last minute.”
“It’s okay,” I said as he stopped in front of me. He leaned down and gave me a quick peck on the lips before straightening up.
“Everything good?” he asked.
“Perfect,” I replied.
“Well. We are done here.” Sam cleared his throat. Maddie gave me another squeeze and then let go of me.
“I’ll see you later,” she said with a wink before leaving.
Alessio wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me into his body. He placed a kiss on my forehead before turning to Sam. “Thank you,” he said. Sam nodded and Alessio led me out of the room.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Good. I’m glad the stitches are out. They were very annoying and itched a lot.”
Alessio laughed and kissed me as I pouted. “I know. You have been complaining about them for days.”
When he pulled away, I didn’t like it. Leaning on my toes, I brought my lips to his and kissed him. It was quick and then I pulled away. “You are such a tease,” Alessio growled, his arm tightening around me in almost a bruising grip.
A small giggle escaped past my lips at his words and I shrugged. Placing a hand on his chest, I looked up at his shining blue eyes. “You were gone before I woke up this morning,” I said.
Alessio nodded solemnly. “I had to take care of some things. You looked too peaceful while sleeping, I didn’t want to wake you up.”
“I missed you.”
My admission was a surprise to both of us. His eyes flared dangerously and I trembled in his embrace. “Well, fuck,” he whispered harshly before slamming his lips on mine.
He pushed me against the wall, his lips devouring mine. I absorbed his kisses hungrily, like I was starving for him. His hands delved into my hair and he grasped it tight in his fist, tilting my head back.
My fingers dug in his shoulders and I moaned when he sucked at my tongue, kissing me deeper. His kisses were rough and hard, as if he was claiming me.
And then suddenly, he wasn’t in my arms anymore.
He pulled away harshly and took several steps away, his breathing hard, his eyes glittering with need. “If we don’t stop now, I won’t be able to stop later. And we are in the hallway,” he said.
“Okay,” I replied.
“I’ll see you for lunch,” Alessio said, his eyes showing his desperate hunger for me yet he held himself back. For me. All for me. Everything he had done so far…was for me.
I nodded speechlessly and he quickly swiveled around, walking away. When he was out of sight, I sank against the wall and wrapped my arms around my middle, holding myself together.
I knew what Alessio wanted. It was clear in his eyes and every time he looked at me. He held himself back, waiting for me to make the next move. His need for me grew stronger each day. I saw it every time he lost control.
But I wasn’t sure if I was ready.