Ispent the next six-and-a-half hours at the hospital. The time was a combination of talking to law enforcement and sitting with Jude. His parents and JP were also there. Chase and Hannah would have been, but they’d gone out of town to visit Hannah’s family for the weekend and were several hours away. JP called to let them know what had happened before they heard it from someone else, but he assured them Jude was fine and would be going home the next day, so there was no need to rush back yet that night.
Even though we knew Jude was going to be okay, his mom and I were still fighting tears most of the time we were with him. It was hard seeing him in the hospital bed, the thick white bandages so stark against the tanned skin of his left side. His doctor wanted to keep him overnight for IV antibiotics to ward off infection, but she said if a person had to get shot, the bullet couldn’t have hit at a better place. It had gone through the flesh of his waist, right between the bottom of his ribcage and his pelvis, so no bones or organs were involved at all. It was just a matter of the wound healing up.
I was so grateful he hadn’t been hurt any worse, but I couldn’t stop the constant thoughts of what might have been. If that bullet had hit something vital, Jude could be fighting for his life right now, or worse. I was pretty sure his family must be thinking that too, and I felt terribly guilty. My problems with Abigail could have gotten him—or Donna—killed, and that was all on me.
At one point, when Jude was dozing, my control slipped and the tears just started streaming down my face. I quickly excused myself and went down the hall to a small family sitting room that was blessedly empty. I went over to a corner and dropped into a chair, needing a little time to be alone and regroup before I went back to Jude’s room. I was drained and sore from my time in the woods, and exhausted mentally from hours of questioning.
I’d been asked for every detail of my conflict with Abigail, which of course meant I’d had to start from the beginning, telling all about my short-lived dating history with Ian, and the cameras in my condo. Hashing through it all again had been awful, especially now that I knew my refusal to take Abigail more seriously had almost gotten Jude killed.
I exhaled a long, shaky breath and hugged my knees to my chest, unable to stop shivering. I longed for warm, fleece sweatpants and a jacket instead of the shorts and borrowed T-shirt I still wore.
As I huddled there, my quiet tears gradually morphed into painful sobs. My mind kept cycling through the morbid possibilities of what could have happened out in the woods. It was all so horrifying. I thanked God over and over for protecting us, and yet I couldn’t get past how close to disaster we’d come. All because of me.
I don’t know how long I cried, probably not more than five or ten minutes, but it was enough to give me a pounding headache and make my whole face feel swollen and tight. I slowly became aware of a firm hand on my shoulder, and I raised my head and tried to focus my bleary eyes.
For a second I thought it was Jude, then realized it was JP. He was leaning on his crutches, his expression soft.
“I think that’s about enough, Ava. I know you need to get it out, but if you don’t stop crying you’re gonna make yourself sick.”
He went over to a table by a window and grabbed a box of tissues, then settled down on the chair beside me and put the box on my lap. I gratefully plucked a few out and pressed them to my wet face, controlling my breathing as best I could.
JP patted my knee. “He’s fine. You know he’s fine. He’ll be out of here tomorrow morning.”
“I just feel so guilty,” I said between shuddering breaths. “What if he wasn’t fine? It could have been so bad. You guys tried to tell me Abigail could be dangerous, and I totally blew it off. I was so sure she’d stick with cyber attacks, which I could’ve handled. I never, ever thought she’d go this far.”
“None of us did. Not even Jude.”
I shook my head sadly. “I’m the one who knows her, though. I should have realized what she’s capable of.” I pressed my fingers to my eyes. “Someone could have died because I didn’t take her seriously enough. I can’t stop thinking about that.”
Jude shifted in his chair and stretched out his good leg. “We can sit here and go through the what-ifs all night and it’s not going to change anything, Ava. Jude will still be fine. The old lady will still be fine.”
“And I’m so grateful for that, I really am,” I told him earnestly. “I’ve said a hundred prayers of thanks. But I’m the one who brought the trouble here. It should be me lying in that bed, not Jude.”
JP gave me a stern look. “You need to turn this around and look at it from another point of view. If Jude had been the one to unwittingly bring the trouble to town and he needed help, would anything have stopped you from trying to save him?”
I shook my head quickly. “Of course not. I’d do anything to keep him safe.”
“And would you blame him if you’d gotten hurt?”
“Of course not,” I repeated softly.
He raised his brows and stared at me, making sure I was getting his point. “It’s no different for Jude, and you’re selling him short if you think he’ll ever regret taking that bullet to keep you safe. Even if he’d been hurt a lot worse, he wouldn’t regret it.” His eyes narrowed. “He wouldn’t like knowing you’re sitting here beating yourself up about it, either.”
He was right, I knew he was. But I wasn’t so sure Jude’s parents felt he same. “Your mom and dad have every right to be angry, though,” I said.
“But they aren’t. They’re a little shook up, but trust me, they aren’t angry at you.”
I shuddered. “If that bullet had gone—”
JP held up a hand and stopped me before I could go any further. “Enough, Ava. Focus on what is, not what might have been.”
I sighed and gave him a weary smile. “I’ll try. I promise. Thanks, JP.”
He was quiet for a moment, then he asked about my questioning by the sheriff’s investigators. “I assume you told them about the cameras? They need to know every detail you can remember so they can find Abigail and put an end to this.”
I nodded vigorously. “I did. We started right at the beginning and I told them everything. I’m going to give them the cameras and the DVR too, although I know they won’t be able to find anything other than that one file. And they’re already questioning Abigial’s brother, Andrew. He’s not talking yet, but he has a long list of prior arrests, so he might be willing to make a deal.”
“Even if it means giving up his sister?”
I shrugged. “We can always hope.”
We sat in silence for a little while, then JP nudged my arm with his. “You good to go back in now? Jude’s probably awake.”
“Yeah.” My throat felt dry and scratchy and my face was still stiff, but I definitely felt more composed. I stood up. “Give me a couple minutes. I need to wash my face and find a bottle of water somewhere.”
“I’ll find the water, you take care of the face.” He squinted at me, his eyes sparking with sudden humor. “That could take a while.”
I grinned and tasted fresh blood when the cut on the inside of my top lip stretched open. It was okay, though. I’d needed that smile.
I gave JP an impulsive hug. “Thanks. For everything. You’re a lot nicer than you look.”
He chuckled. “Don’t tell anyone. I’ll meet you back in the room.”
I found a bathroom and scooped big handfuls of cool water over my face for a good minute or so. JP’s kind words had calmed my thoughts, and the refreshing water soothed my tear-ravaged face. I couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t fall victim to the what-ifs again at some point, but for now, I felt ready to face Jude and his parents again.
I returned to the room and I could tell right away that Jude had been waiting for me. His eyes locked on mine and he held out his right hand, wanting me closer.
I was happy to oblige. I crossed the room and laced my fingers through his, holding on tight as his parents stood up and said goodbye, promising to visit tomorrow when he got home.
JP handed me the promised bottle of water and said he’d take me home whenever I was ready. He’d been cleared to drive a few days ago, and thankfully his new truck was roomy enough to easily accommodate his cast.
“She’ll be ready soon,” Jude said. I started to protest, but he squeezed my hand. “You need to get some sleep,” he said softly, “and I’m going to do the same. You can come back first thing in the morning to take me home.”
“I’ll give you two a little time alone,” JP said, showing his sweet side again. “I’ll be waiting down the hall, Ava. Come get me when you’re ready.”
“Thanks, bro,” Jude said. He released my hand and ran his fingertips over the dark bruises on my arm, his brows drawing together. “I hate that he hurt you,” he murmured, blue eyes turning stormy. “Here, and your lip. Are there other places?”
I rubbed my head and grimaced. “He pulled my hair a lot, but I’m fine, Jude. Really.”
Then his sharp eyes caught the bruising extending down below my shorts from where Andrew had repeatedly kicked my hip, trying to get me to stand up.
Jude lifted the hem of my shorts, his jaw clenching when he saw the extent of the damage. I knew it looked bad. The doctor who examined me had wanted to do an X-ray, but I’d convinced him it wasn’t necessary. Aside from being tender, everything felt fine. No limited motion or anything.
“I should’ve hit him harder,” Jude said, his voice low and rough as his hand gently covered the red and purple marks.
I swallowed hard, far more aware of his touch than any pain.
“You’re freezing, Ava,” he muttered, shifting his hand to the small of my back and urging me closer. “Lie down beside me for a few minutes. I’m hot. I’ll warm you up.”
I chuckled. “You’re definitely hot, Jude, even when you’re in a hospital bed. The bare chest doesn’t hurt, either.”
He grinned at my teasing. “I refused the gown. It wasn’t my color.”
I sat down beside him, on his uninjured side, then drew up my legs and reclined, snuggling into him. His arm came around me, tight and reassuring, and exactly what I needed.
I couldn’t hold back a soft, appreciative moan. He was as hot as he’d promised, and my cold body immediately responded. I felt warm for the first time since I’d arrived at the hospital.
“I want you to come home with me, Jude,” I told him a moment later. “Tomorrow, I mean. When you’re released.”
My ear was against his chest, and his voice vibrated pleasantly through me. “It’s just a flesh wound, Ava. I’ll be able to take care of myself.”
“I know. I also know you’ll probably be back to work in a matter of days, but I want to fuss over you for a little while.” I put my hand on his chest, rubbing slowly across the hard muscle. “You saved Donna’s life, and probably mine too, and I want to give back.”
I propped myself up on my elbow and looked down at his face. The beautiful face of the man I loved. “Just for a couple days,” I said wistfully. “If I have you around and can see you’re okay, maybe I’ll stop hearing that gun going off.”
His gaze grew reflective, and I knew he was remembering, too. “Thank God I got there in time.”
I swallowed back my emotion, determined not to cry again. “How did you, though? I didn’t think you were getting back to town until late.”
“We got back from the campus visit early,” he said, “so I decided to surprise you. I was driving down your street when Donna and Rosie were getting out of their car. I stopped to say hi, and they said they were meeting up with you behind your house to walk. I told them that was fine, I’d just wait on your front porch until you got back.”
He went quiet, and I lay down again, my cheek against his shoulder.
“I was only there a few minutes when I heard someone calling me. I walked out into the yard and saw Rosie running toward me. She was moving faster than an old lady should and waving and yelling. I went to meet her and the poor thing was breathing so hard I could barely understand her. She said they heard you yelling about a gun, and a man’s voice telling you to shut up. She’d already called 911, but she said I had to get there fast because Donna was probably going to do something crazy and get you both killed.”
When I pictured Donna’s “crazy,” I smiled and shuddered at the same time. “Did you see what she did?” I asked.
“No, I heard her though. The battle-cry led me right to you, but you were all already on the ground by the time I actually saw you.”
I told Jude about the long tree branch with all the twigs and dried leaves still attached, which Donna had used as a weapon when she charged Andrew.
“She startled him so bad she actually took him down with that branch. He pulled the gun, but Donna didn’t see it right away. I was trying to shield her, but she was yelling for me to let her up because she was sure the two of us could overpower him. Then she saw the gun and started praying.” I stopped the story and exhaled slowly. “You know the rest.”
Jude planted a kiss on the top of my head. “Yeah. I finally got close enough to see he was holding a gun, but I couldn’t tell at first who he was aiming at.”
His voice was strained and all the images came back to me in full color, making me shiver even though he’d warmed me up. I hated reliving it, but I was glad we were talking about it. We needed to, and it didn’t seem quite so bad when I was lying against Jude’s warm, already healing body.
“He would’ve shot her,” I said quietly. “I’d been stalling for time by pretending to be out of my mind hysterical. He was trying so hard to get me to go with him quietly, but I kept falling down, and then I’d pretend to be almost paralyzed by fear, so it would take him a long time to get me up again. That’s why he kicked me. He finally dragged me into the trees to wait until it was dark, because he was so afraid we’d meet someone on the trail. He knew I was too crazy for anyone to believe that we were just out for a walk.”
“That’s my girl,” Jude said proudly. “That was some quick thinking.”
His praise felt good, but I wasn’t sure I deserved it considering my failure to predict Abigail’s desperate measures in the first place.
“Stalling was all I knew to do,” I continued after a pause, “and it was working pretty well, until Donna came charging in. I was so worried about him hurting her that I completely forgot I wasn’t supposed to be lucid. He noticed right away and accused me of playing him for a fool. He was going to punish me by shooting Donna.”
“But he didn’t.”
I propped up on my elbow again so I could see his face. “He didn’t because of you. But you had to risk your life to stop him and—”
Jude put a finger to my lips. “Don’t, Ava, don’t keep beating yourself up. It’s over.”
I wrapped my hand around his. “I have to apologize to you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do, Jude. At least once. I need you to know how sorry I am that I brushed off your concerns about Abigail. You tried to tell me she was a danger to me—beyond what she could do with her computer—and I didn’t listen. I was so sure I knew her limits.” I pressed his hand to my cheek. “My feud with her almost got you killed and I’m so, so sorry.”
He smiled gently. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Ava. This is on Abigail. No one else.”
“I don’t know how I could live with it if you’d been hurt any worse,” I whispered.
“You don’t have to, sweetheart. The good Lord kept us all safe and mostly sound, and that’s what matters. Now we just need to pray that the good guys find Abigail so we can wrap things up and move on.”
“Believe me, I’ve been praying.”
I let my gaze roam his face. I could tell he was tired and in pain, but he was trying to hide it. For me. Because he didn’t want me to feel so bad about everything.
My throat ached with emotion. There was just so much there. Fear. Regret. Love. Relief. Hope.
More love.
I reluctantly let go of his hand because he needed pain meds and rest and he wouldn’t agree to either as long as I was there.
“I’d better go. JP’s going to get tired of waiting. I’ll be back at nine tomorrow morning. The nurse said that’s the soonest you’ll get released.”
He nodded, then pulled my head in for a kiss, careful and soft because of my swollen lip. “I’ll be here. Sleep well, Ava.”
I hugged him, then stood up. “You too. See you soon.” I made it to the door, then stopped and looked back over my shoulder. “Remember, you’re coming to my place for a couple days.”
He grinned and settled his head back against the pillow. “Whatever you say, babe.”
I gave a satisfied nod and went to find JP.