CHAPTER NINE
MAYA. I’d spent nearly every weekend in recent memory at the club, partaking in all manner of drunken fun. Eli, Vanessa, and I would glam ourselves up and dance the night away, rain or shine. Every weekend was an adventure. Who would we meet, and what vodka-induced debacle would we get ourselves into? Between the three of us, we’d usually be able to get a good story and a few laughs out of the night. Some nights I’d rather forget, of course. At the rate I was going, tonight could very well be one of those.
While I usually relished the inevitable air of excitement before going out, tonight was different. Bringing Cameron into my world would be strange, and a part of me dreaded it. I didn’t want my world to revolve around his presence, but whenever he was near, it inevitably did. Maybe tonight he’d realize I wasn’t girlfriend material and back off. Where there was drinking involved, anything could happen.
“Almost ready?” Eli poked his head in and handed me a fresh glass of wine. I eagerly accepted it. I needed to take the edge off. The edge was getting duller by the minute but my stomach was still in knots.
“Almost.”
“You look hot.” He smirked, looking pretty fresh himself in leather pants and a tight black v-neck. His hair was expertly gelled and his eyeliner rivaled mine.
With my free hand, I tousled my hair once more. I’d chosen a tight red mini dress and put enough product in my hair to ensure that I looked perfectly windblown and sexy for a night of gyrating. I caked on the eyeliner, eye shadow, and mascara, making a mental note to periodically check myself for raccoon eyes throughout the course of the night.
“I bet Cameron’s never seen you dressed for the club.”
I ignored his comment and put on some sparkly hoop earrings.
Eli leaned against the counter, staring at me. “What’s up with you two? Are we still pretending that you aren’t hot for each other?”
“We can’t keep our hands off each other. Everything’s just moving too fast.”
“That’s never been a complaint of yours before.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Sorry, but I’ve seriously never seen you agonize over a guy like this. Ever.”
“That’s because no one else has been Cameron.” I blew out a breath and fidgeted nervously with the mascara. “I almost pulled a nutty on that yoga chick at the gym. She’s got a thing for him, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. We’re not even officially in any kind of relationship and I’m ready to cut a bitch. It’s too much.”
“Whatever goes on between you is going to be more intense because you’ve already been in a relationship with him.”
“I know that, but I thought I could keep this under control. It’s not under control at all though. I’m already starting to have feelings for him again and it’s way too soon for that.”
“You’ve always had feelings for him.”
“I wasn’t always falling in love with him, and at least for now, I’d like to keep it that way.”
“Don’t you want a second chance at...you know, whatever you had?”
“Part of me wants that, I’ll admit.” I sighed, my heart sinking with what I was about to say. “But if I let myself fall in love with Cameron again and it doesn’t work out, there won’t be enough pieces of me left to put back together.”
Eli’s eyes softened and he held my hand, giving it a small squeeze. His silence spoke volumes. I was a hot mess on a normal day. I couldn’t crawl out of that kind of misery again and possibly survive. I wasn’t letting him anywhere near my heart again. I couldn’t.
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I feel like the sexual tension is seriously affecting my ability to think clearly about any of this.”
“And…”
“Maybe I’ll get belligerently drunk and sleep with him tonight. And that’s it. Get it out of my system and move on.” I leaned toward the mirror, rolled light gloss onto my lips, and smacked them together. What had this week been other than a series of opportunities to heighten the already acute attraction between us? Sleeping with Cameron had seemed inevitable. If I ended up drunk and wound up, dragging him to bed with me, then so be it.
“Whoa, honey, do you hear yourself? You’re talking about him like he’s a hookup. I think we both know he’s not. You just said that yourself.”
I shrugged. “Maybe I should start thinking of it that way. Maybe that’s where I’ve been wrong. This is why I don’t date, Eli. This is fucking why. Because of what we had, I let my guard down and let myself believe it could be more. But frankly, I can’t handle more. It’s probably best for both of us to keep this casual.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, hating the flood of emotion. Why the hell couldn’t I be objective about this? I’d managed to keep my heart closed off to men for five years.
The buzzer went off.
“That must be Vanessa,” Eli said quietly.
I took a last look in the mirror and finished off the wine. This will be fine, I reassured myself. But like every other Saturday night, I had no idea what the next few hours would bring.
CAMERON. Darren and I grabbed a corner couch at the bar across from the club. We drank our beers in silence while I mulled over his words from last night. I didn’t want to give him any credit, but he’d told me exactly what I wanted to hear.
I had no idea how tonight would go down, but I was determined to let Maya know how I felt. With any luck, we’d end up back at my place, and I could show her. Maybe it was risky, but sometimes our bodies did the talking better than we did. I’d never regretted a night in her bed. I didn’t imagine anything had changed where that was concerned. Visions of her under me clouded my thoughts, and my cock twitched.
Darren elbowed me back to reality. Maya approached with Eli and a beautiful, leggy redhead in tow. If Maya hadn’t been standing next to Eli, I might not have recognized her at all. She looked amazing, but I’d never seen her that way. All made up, her hair wild and untamed, her tight dress mid-thigh. I raked her in, highly aware that I wouldn’t be the only one doing that tonight. Already I could think of nothing else but hiking up her skirt and wrapping her legs around me.
The comfortable silence between Darren and me erupted into an excited chatter among the group. I pulled my thoughts out of the gutter and rose to greet her. Sliding my arm around her waist, I pulled her close and kissed her on the cheek.
“You look incredible.”
“You like the dress?”
“I love it. I’m just not sure how I feel about the rest of the world seeing you in it.”
She offered a slanted smile, her body bending easily into the embrace. Something was off. She lifted her arm and gestured to the redhead.
“Cam, Darren, this is my friend, Vanessa.”
Darren rose quickly and shook her hand, shooting her his signature panty-dropping smile. “Pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise.” She returned the smile, blushing slightly. Her green eyes illuminated as they darted from me to Darren, her gaze lingering on him.
Maya slipped out of my grasp and dropped herself on the opposite couch, pulling Vanessa and Eli down on either side of her. Slighted by the tease of her contact, I sat back down by Darren and nursed my beer.
Eli and the girls huddled over the cocktail menu. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Maya. Her dress left far too little to the imagination now that she was sitting. I imagined sliding a hand up her thigh to the flash of black panties I swore I saw a moment ago.
Darren blew out a quiet whistle. “Oh, man. I’m all over that,” he murmured, too low for anyone but me to hear.
His gaze was locked on Vanessa. I relaxed, grateful she was the one who had his approval. She seemed oblivious to his lascivious appraisal, caught up in ordering when the waitress arrived. Maybe Darren wasn’t going to be the best wingman tonight. Not that I really needed one, but the idea of clubbing sounded a little more bearable with him in the group. Still, I could see this going downhill fast.
I lowered my voice so only he could hear me. “How about you not fuck Maya’s best friend and complicate things for me?”
He shot me an annoyed look. “Really? You’re blocking me?” He sized her up again, tightening his jaw. “Does she have any more friends?”
“Go prowl, Darren. I’m sure you’ll find someone drunk enough to fuck you.”
He scoffed, seeming genuinely insulted. “Hey, screw you, man. I’m not that shallow or desperate.”
We were two sides on the same coin sometimes. I didn’t like hearing about any of his frequent and meaningless conquests, and I didn’t expect him to understand my determination to save the only relationship that had ever meant anything to me.
His gaze never left the expanse of Vanessa’s bare toned legs. “How about I play nice?”
I hesitated, trying to imagine what he was proposing. “What does that mean? Get her to fawn all over you and then ditch her when you realize you’re not allowed to sleep with her?”
“No. I’ll be my usual charming self. But we’ll all have a good time as friends. That low-key enough for you, old man?”
I stared at him, skeptical of what he was proposing. I’d never seen him spend time with a woman without having a very singular motive in mind.
“I’ll be good, all right? I get it. I’m not big on drama either, and if you’re going to keep Maya around, I don’t want it to be awkward.” He paused, waiting for me to give him the okay. “You know, I’m capable of interacting with women without taking them straight to bed.” He was getting pissed now, which was good. I wanted him to know I was serious.
“Fine.” I hoped he’d keep to his word.
By the time the three of them had finished off a round of drinks and a small tray of shots, I’d begun to realize what was off with Maya. She was plastered. She leaned lazily against Vanessa and Eli, pressed snugly between her and Eli. She laughed loudly, and while I loved the sound and the way her eyes glittered when she smiled, I couldn’t shake a protective worry over her.
“Should we head out?” Maybe I could get her to sober up at the club. She claimed to have a penchant for dancing the night away.
“Let’s do it!” She hopped up.
We made our way out of the bar and across the street. A sizable line had formed at the club entrance. I groaned inwardly. Standing outside for hours wasn’t my idea of a great Saturday night. “I guess we’re not in a rush.”
“No worries. I don’t do lines. Come here.” Maya flagged the attention of one of the guys at the door who nodded to her.
She joined the bouncer, bounding into his arms for a hug. “Hey, Paul.”
“Hey, baby. How’s it going?”
“Good.”
When I approached, he nodded and held out his hand. I shook it, if only to give him a reason to stop touching her. “I’m Cameron.” The words came out strained because my teeth were clenched.
“Good to meet you. Friend of Maya’s?”
I simply nodded. Something like that.
“Cool. You guys can head in.”
“Thanks, Paul.” Maya smiled and slipped a bill into his palm before disappearing into the noise of the club.
I followed, eager to keep her in my sight. The place was loud and filling quickly. Maya led the way and we found an unoccupied seated area large enough to accommodate our group. Darren immediately posted himself between Eli and Vanessa. Eli seemed to clue in to Darren’s plan and disappeared a few minutes later to mingle.
A cocktail waitress approached and leaned close to Maya to take her order.
“What do you want?” Maya asked me.
“Diet Coke is fine.”
She turned back to the server. “Two Jack and Cokes and a shot of Jager.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Going for a strong start?”
“I’m not letting you drink soda at the club.”
We settled back into the couch next to each other. I draped my arm over her shoulders, lightly grazing the bare skin of her arm. She leaned into me, tracing circles into the fabric of my pants at the knee. Her bright energy seemed to dim.
I tightened around her shoulders, bringing her closer. “What’s going on in that mind of yours?”
She lifted her gaze to mine.
Before I could press her, she looked away. Her eyes narrowed over Darren and Vanessa, now pressed firmly against each other. Vanessa was laughing, and Darren was at her ear, telling her God knew what. So much for self-restraint.
“What’s with them?”
I rubbed my jaw anxiously. “Hopefully nothing. He’s assured me he’ll be on his best behavior.”
She let out a short laugh. “You’ll have to excuse me if I take that assurance with a grain of salt.”
“I hear you, but he did promise me.”
Before she could respond, the server brought our drinks. Maya tossed back the shot and handed me one of the two remaining drinks. She’d barely looked me in the eye once since arriving. I wasn’t going to endure the night this way.
“Are you upset about something?”
Maya’s lips twitched slightly. “No, I’m having fun. This is me having fun.” She sucked down her drink before I could even taste mine. Her eyes darted around us, never landing on anyone or anything for too long. I caught her chin and turned her to face me. Her eyes were glossy, her skin flushed and warm.
“I never know what you’re thinking.”
She brushed me away. “Maybe you should stop trying to get into my head. You probably wouldn’t like it in there anyway.”
“I think you’re wrong.”
She looked down at her hands and toyed with the rippled fabric of her dress. “No one else tries this hard. I don’t understand why you are.”
“I’m not like everyone else. I thought you’d figured that out by now.”
“Maybe that’s not what I want.”
“What do you want?”
She sighed and worried her lip. “We should keep this casual so no one gets hurt.”
“When you say casual, you’re saying you don’t want our relationship to mean anything. Is that right?”
She looked up, paralyzing me with a penetrating gaze. “It wasn’t important enough for you to want to keep back then, so why should I want it to mean anything now?”
She could have punched me in the gut, the way her words hit me.
I ground my teeth. “I could say the same thing to you, Maya. You weren’t the only one who got hurt, you know.”
She rose quickly. “I’m going to grab a drink.”
“Maybe you should slow down.”
“Maybe you should mind your own business.” She rose quickly, disappearing into the crowd.
MAYA. Jia leaned up against the bar as the bartender brought her martini. I’d texted her upon separating from Cameron. She showed up not long after, thanks to Paul’s VIP treatment. I was thankful for the company since my connection with Cameron had noticeably cooled as the night had progressed. Maybe that was a good thing though. Eli was off doing his thing, and Vanessa was in Darren’s clutches. Thanks to my significant buzz, I cared less and less. This was my night, and I wasn’t going to let him or anyone else spoil it.
“Did you come alone?” I asked.
“Yeah, the friend I was with bailed. No worries. This place seems great. Do you come here often?”
“It’s in the rotation.”
“You look cute.” She smiled and ran a finger down the ruching of my dress.
“Thanks, you too.”
She was wearing a sleeveless blouse and skinny jeans. Her hair was down, framing her face. Seeing her so casual seemed odd, wrong even. Having her see me in my weekend club attire also felt strange, as if I were exposing myself to a world that never saw me this way. Even though we’d been inching toward friendship, Jia represented that world in this context.
“It’s a little strange to see people outside of work,” I said. “I imagine everyone wakes up and goes to sleep in their suits or something.”
She laughed. “No kidding. You’d be surprised what you find under all those suits.” She lifted an eyebrow and the corner of her mouth quirked up.
I couldn’t help but laugh. I wasn’t remotely interested in anyone at the office. The thought of seeing someone like Dermott under his suit was nausea-inducing, if only because I hated that bastard.
“Did you come with the ex?”
I rolled my eyes and groaned like an angst-ridden teenager whose mother had followed her to the mall. Thankfully, the sound was muted by the blare of the music. A part of me wished I hadn’t come with Cameron tonight. He was on the other side of the club, probably wishing he hadn’t too.
“He’s here.”
“You don’t look so happy about that.”
“I’m not exactly thrilled, no.”
“I take it the reunion isn’t going so well.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. It’s complicated.” I didn’t want to go into all the reasons why with Jia right now. “Honestly, I don’t even want to think about it. I don’t really want to think about anything tonight.” I waved my hand for effect. “It’s been a long week, and I just want to have some fun.”
“I say we drink to that.”
She lifted her glass, and I clinked my shot against its rim before swallowing down another ounce of sugary heaven.
I set it down and looked around. The bar was lit up in blue neon lights, its patrons laughing and talking. The music was loud, vibrating every corner of the dimly lit club. Despite my spat with Cameron, I caught myself smiling widely. This was the moment—that perfect moment when the night felt like it had possibilities. I wanted this moment to last forever. Liquid happiness and excitement mingled with the promise that I could lose myself in the music, in the fate of the night. This was my freedom.
“Let’s dance,” I yelled.
Jia smiled and nodded. She finished her drink, grabbed my hand, and led the way to the dance floor. We pushed through the crowd, now thick with all walks of life. The push of people gave way at a certain point. The music changed into a deep beat of a Lady Gaga song, asking someone to do what he wanted with her body. I hummed to myself, liking the sound of that. Maybe I’d drag Cameron into bed anyway. What did it matter anyway? Give Raina a run for her money. Give Cameron something to remember me by, because that would have to be it. I’d fall in love with him otherwise. That much was certain.
My head was buzzing, my limbs and soul lighter than they had been in days. God, days. I closed my eyes, reached for the sky, and let my hips sway in time to the consuming pulse of the music.
Someone bumped into me from behind, interrupting my moment and jolting me into Jia. I kept my balance, but she encircled my waist protectively with her arm. I could have moved back, but she held me there, like she wanted me to stay. Our faces were inches apart, our legs staggered over each other’s as we moved, creating our own rhythm. Her hands slid down my dress, tracing the skin of my thigh lightly.
Her eyes were fixed on me, inspiring that breathless feeling I had when I knew something intense was about to happen.
“Kiss her!”
I shot a glare to my right. A young guy in a white collared shirt unbuttoned at the neck and dress slacks was gawking at us with a stupid drunk grin. He wasn’t bad looking, but he was soaked with sweat and surrounded by a gaggle of similarly dressed guys.
Jia turned my face back to hers, her soft finger coming down my cheek and resting on my lower lip. She licked her lip suggestively, and I knew. She was about to kiss me. And I was about to let her. The night was mine, and the opportunity was here. Something felt wrong and right about it, right enough that I blocked out the chants around us as our lips touched.
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
We did. Her mouth was soft on mine as our lips pressed to each other’s. I took in a sharp breath. The smell of her expensive perfume infused the hot musk of the crowd around us. Her one hand grazed down my chest over my breast. The other found the tight hem of my dress, pushing it up a couple inches over her fingers as they slid up my thigh. The movement elicited some more excited howls. I smiled under her kiss. A stupid laughter bubbled up with the idea that we were putting on a real show for our new admirers. That excitement quickly dampened when I felt someone’s dewy, clumsy hands on my thighs and an erection pressed hard against me from behind.
My eyes flew open. Before I could react and push him away, I heard him yell. His friends’ yelled too and then stepped back.
CAMERON. I had to remind myself of my own strength when I ripped that little fucker off of Maya. He and his friends had postured for a moment, probably long enough to realize I had about forty pounds of muscle on any of them. Their strength in numbers would have been annoying, but not enough to pose a threat.
Then there was the girl, her body indecently entwined with Maya’s. She didn’t look like a drunk idiot though. She had a shrewdness about her and dark assessing eyes that looked me over. Slowly she relinquished her hold on Maya.
I caught Maya’s wrist, spinning her to me.
“What are you doing?” I was beyond furious that she’d put herself in this position, with some—multiple—strangers’ hands all over her. This was un-fucking-acceptable.
“I could ask you the same thing.” She looked to her wrist, where I held her tightly.
She twisted in my grasp, and I released my grip. My adrenaline was still thrumming.
My chest expanded on a deep breath. The rush of anger had ebbed but remnants of it still pulsed through me. “Can we talk?”
“I’m dancing. I’ll meet you back at the table in a little while.” Her voice was clipped, irritation showing on her features.
I wasn’t about to leave her. “Let’s dance, then.” I placed a protective hand on her hip, urging her toward me.
Her irritation gave way to something else, an emotion I couldn’t name. She seemed to consider the proposal as she stared at me. Her admirers had scattered after they shot us a few glares and offensive gestures.
Maya turned away from me, saying something to the girl. She nodded and gave me one last cool look before disappearing through the crowd. I took advantage of her absence and pulled Maya to me, our bodies close—closer than theirs had been.
Mine.
Maya hooked her arms over my shoulders, her fingers toying with my hair. We moved in time to the slowest part of the beat, turning the house music into a slow song that only we seemed to hear.
I wrapped my arms around her, bringing my mouth to her ear so she could hear me. “Who was that?” My jaw clenched, possessiveness over her body rioting through me.
“Doesn’t matter.”
I thought I saw a hint of embarrassment before she looked away, bringing her hands down to my chest. Her eyes flickered back to mine.
“You’re full of surprises, Maya. I can say that.”
“Are you jealous?” She shot me a sassy smile that riled me and made me want to kiss the look right off her face.
“Should I be?”
“No. You have no right to be.” She tipped her head up, her jaw resolute. Little fucking minx.
“I want the right to be.”
“Get used to disappointment,” she said.
“How about I change your mind?” I brushed the hair away from her neck and dragged my lips across her hot skin. Two could play this game.
She sagged against me slightly. “You can’t.”
I grinned at the wavering in her voice. “Try me.” I opened my mouth against her, letting my tongue dart out to taste her. A moan vibrated through her when I squeezed her ass and pressed her firmly against my thigh.
Her breasts rose and fell with quick breaths. She trailed her hands down my chest. Unable to stop myself, I took her mouth, channeling every ounce of possession into kissing her breathless. She clawed into my shirt, and the slow rhythm of the dance morphed into her grinding her supple little body against me. Suddenly I wished we weren’t in the middle of a crowded room. I needed her in my bed. I wasn’t willing to wait anymore, and I wasn’t asking.
“I’m taking you home.”