As soon as I saw Grig77’s username, which made me laugh because I loved The Last Starfighter, I knew I had to message him. I’d been sharing faceless pics with several guys, trying to get used to the whole new world of hooking up, but they had all done the approaching. I took a chance, messaging him first. I hadn’t been expecting the lighthearted conversation that resulted.

The furry, strong but not gym-rat-cut torso was also a bonus. Grig77 was a total bear, and although it wasn’t something I had outright considered to be my thing before, my body’s reaction to the picture didn’t care if I had thought bears were my thing or not. It was going for it. Multiple times.

Ben, being Ben, insisted on helping me pick the perfect outfit for this evening. Not kidding, I had to model several outfits for him before he approved. I told him that I was refusing to participate in a makeover montage after he tried to style my hair.

Which is why I’m walking into Espresso Patronum wearing uncharacteristically tight jeans, ones that I had previously considered to have outgrown and shoved to the back of my closet, with a pale green button-up and a black sports coat over it. Ben voted on the shirt, sans coat but with a bow tie, but I thought that would be too hipster. Not that I mind hipster, but I’m not comfortable enough as one to wear a bow tie on a first date.

I shoot off a quick message to Grig77 to let him know I’m here. A ding goes off to my left not two seconds later, which can’t be a coincidence.

“Ted?” I say, surprised to see my friend with phone in hand.

Ted looks just as surprised as I am, but my eyes don’t care who my date turned out to be. They peruse his body, taking in the clingy dark slacks and a short-sleeved henley stretched around bulging biceps. My dick gives a jump of approval. Ted is smoking hot.

“Kieran,” Ted says, pushing to his feet. “Are you my date?”

The big man actually blushes when he asks it, making Ted’s adorableness level almost reach his hotness level.

“Star Navigator Kieran Jones reporting for duty. It looks like I’m all yours for the evening.”

I sound like an idiot, but Ted’s eyes sparkle at the reference before quickly dimming.

“We don’t have to go out. If you’re disappointed that it’s me, I’ll understand.”

“Of course I want to go out. I had fun messaging you this week,” I say, and I mean it. We texted every single night, and only the fear that I would oversleep or somehow screw up at work from being so tired kept me from chatting with him the whole night.

Ted’s smile appears, though small and tentative. “Me too.”

“Let’s at least go get some dinner. I haven’t thanked you yet for taking care of me when I was sick.”

“Are you feeling better? I was worried.”

“Yes, and thank you. I have no idea what kind of ditch I’d have wound up in if it hadn’t been for you.”

Ted almost looks embarrassed by the thanks, and I can’t stop noticing that he’s looking more and more attractive with each passing minute. He tucks in his chair, straightening up the way an employee might but most patrons wouldn’t. “What sounds good to you?”

“Me? I’ll eat anything. And I’m starving,” I say and it’s the truth. I was so nervicited earlier that I barely ate any lunch. Pre-date jitters.

His eyes glint. “Well then, my favorite vegan restaurant is just across the street. They have an amazing bean burger with tempeh bacon and cashew cheese that is to die for.”

His eyebrows raise, waiting for my response, which he’s obviously expecting to be negative. But I wasn’t kidding. I really will eat anything. “Sounds wonderful. Let’s go.”

“You sure?” When I nod, his smile spreads without restraint for the first time this evening. It crinkles the corners of his beautiful pale blue-grey eyes, although I get the feeling he’d hate the reminder that those little lines exist.

We walk side by side down the street to the crosswalk. The restaurant, named the Gardentop, really is directly across the street, but we don’t get close enough on the sidewalk to touch. I think we’re both still thrown a bit by who showed up. I didn’t even realize Ted was looking for someone, much less that he was gay.

“Are you surprised it’s me? I’m not disappointed, but I definitely never even had an inkling that Grig77 might be you.”

Ted lets out a reserved little laugh. “I didn’t expect anyone under the age of thirty-five to get my username, so yes, you could say I’m surprised.” He looks at me with those sleet-colored eyes that radiate a surprising amount of warmth. “But likewise, I’m not disappointed.”

“I’m glad.”

My god, I’m practically batting my eyes at him. I’d feel pathetic if it didn’t seem to be reciprocated, but Ted has a goofy grin of his own plastered across his face. He has to shake himself when we arrive at the restaurant.

“Is this really your favorite restaurant?” I ask him once we’re seated at a booth off to the side. The name certainly is appropriate, as there are hanging plants everywhere, and walls are lined with pots filled with herbs and spices. It gives the place a greenhouse vibe that’s pretty cool. The hostess hands us menus, but Ted doesn’t even glance at his.

“Yeah. And I really am vegan. Fort Collins actually has a pretty big selection when it comes to vegan and vegetarian. The restaurants in the town where I grew up don’t even have any vegetarian offerings, much less entire restaurants devoted to it.”

“Oh my god.”

Ted looks around frantically. “What?”

“I made you cookies. They weren’t vegan.”

He smiles. “No, they weren’t. But they were delicious. I was willing to cheat if it came from you.”

His words light a strange fire in my chest. I take a large sip of the water already on the table and try to redirect the conversation to a safer and less belly-fluttering subject.

“So where are you from, then?”

“Lake Charles, Louisiana.” I’m sure the shock must show on my face, because he laughs. “I know. I don’t have an accent.”

Ted’s still talking about his hometown when the waitress approaches the table to see if we’re ready to order. I haven’t even looked at the menu; I’ve been too absorbed in conversation. Whatever it is that Ted orders sounds good – complicated, but good – so I order the same, and we each get a beer.

“Growing up in Louisiana, especially during the time you did, must have been hard being gay, huh?”

It takes a few seconds of stunned silence with Ted only blinking at me for me to realize all the things wrong with what I’ve just said. Shit. This is why I shouldn’t try to date.

“Which part was worse, the fact that I insinuated that you’re old or that I stereotyped an entire state as homophobic?” The side of my mouth stretches down in unspoken apology.

Ted picks up my beer and hands it to me. “Drink. You’re fine. And both, but it’s okay. In my case, the homophobia part is true. I was kicked out of my house because of it.”

I had just taken a sip of the beer and Ted leans forward in his seat to pound on my back as I choke. “Oh my god, that actually makes what I said so much worse. I’m so sorry,” I say when I can finally breathe.

“Eh.” Ted sits back and waves his hand. “It’s more of a fourth date kind of story.”

“Fourth date. Someone’s feeling confident.”

Ted steeples his hands together. “It’s all going to plan,” he hisses, making me laugh.

I’m truly enjoying myself here with Ted, just as much as I did texting with Grig77. The nerves finally start to abate, but that might have more to do with the beers I’ve steadily consumed. The waitress carries away our empty plates and I tell Ted that I’m amazed at how good the food was. We had plates full of what almost looked like crab cakes, without the crab, over polenta, and shared an appetizer of lettuce wraps. It was all so flavorful, I didn’t miss the meat at all.

“If I could cook like that, I could easily go vegan. Unfortunately, my cooking skills don’t extend that far. I’m more of a baker.”

“I could teach you. I love to cook,” Ted says, shyly rubbing at his neatly trimmed beard. Streaks of grey run through it, but it only adds to the appeal. I bet the beard would feel amazing against my cheek. And my lips.

He clears his throat and I realize I’ve been caught staring. My eyes fly to his.

“It’s okay to say no if you don’t want to.”

I’m blank. What was he talking about with those smooth pink lips? Either Ted’s hypnotizing me with his sensual good looks or I’m getting a little tipsy.

“Cooking?” His lips form the words and shit, I was staring again.

“No. Right. No. Cooking. I’d like that. Cooking good.” If I wasn’t in public I’d head-desk so hard right now. “Sentences, apparently, bad.”

The waitress delivers our check and Ted is too quick for me, but he tells me I can pay for our next date. The thought warms my belly.

“Did you want to call it a night, or stay out a little longer? There’s a quiet bar around the corner. Away from all the college kids,” Ted says.

“That sounds nice.”

It’s a lovely spring evening, but even though I’m warm inside, a shiver courses through me the second the night air hits my skin. Ted steps closer, wrapping an arm around my back. His hand clasps my upper arm, almost engulfing it completely. And if that isn’t the biggest fucking turn-on. Jesus, just thinking of those big hands elsewhere.

The bar is just as quiet and cozy as Ted mentioned, more like a coffee house than a bar. We grab a brown leather couch near the front, and Ted goes to get our drinks. I watch him walk away, noticing how his pants stretch around his strong thighs and how freaking round his ass is. I’m torn, because this is Ted, and I feel almost like a perv thinking these things about my friend, and my other friend’s boss for fuck’s sake. But then I remember we’re on a date, and I’m supposed to be thinking these things or else the date would really not be going well. Still. Ted. Has a juicy round ass. Mind blown.

“Everything alright?” Ted asks as he sits down and hands me a pint glass. The cold seeps through to my fingertips like a jolt of electricity, and each swallow I take wakes my body up more while the alcohol fogs my brain.

“Mmm. Good.” I set down my beer and notice Ted’s fingers tapping nervously on his knees. They draw me to them, and before I realize what I’m doing, I’m tracing my own fingers down each one. Soft. Still. No longer tapping, but frozen in place.

“Oh, uh, sorry.” I drag my eyes upward to see that the rest of Ted is also frozen, except for his Adam’s apple which bobs heavily in his throat. I’m normally not this touchy, but the alcohol has me loose and free. It’s quite pleasant.

“It’s all good.” Ted’s voice is deeper than normal.

I think I’m affecting him. Me. Seriously. The bubbles in my beer must have gone to my head, because the thought makes me giddy. And want to do it again. So I do. This time, a warm hand sandwiches mine, stopping its exploration.

“Kieran,” Ted whispers in a husky voice. “You’re having a very uncomfortable effect on my pants. Can you wait until we’re someplace more private?”

Holy shit. He just came right out with it. Ted wants me. Someone I want, wants me back. But as I look at Ted, all the worry and doubts from earlier creep back in.

“So, um, about later. I’m not sure if I’m ready. I mean, I’m …” I hesitate and thank God I don’t have to say it out loud. My thoughts are too tangled up with my embarrassment, leaving my words somewhere in-between.

Ted squeezes my hand between his. “I would never pressure you to do anything. But that just means you really have to stop with the … stroking.” He clears his throat before the last word, which he can barely get out, his voice has become so gruff.

God, it’s sexy. I use my free hand to take another gulp of beer, and I’m shocked to find that’s the last of the pint already. That was fast.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” I rush to reassure him despite the heaviness of my tongue. “I’m just afraid that I don’t have the best track record. What if this is ’cause, for the first time my interest is recip ... reciprocated?”

Ted nods and I nod along, following each bob of his head with my own. “I completely understand. Do you want me to grab you some coffee or water? Help you clear your head a bit?”

I shake my head no, which is a really bad idea, as I list to the side. Ted’s strong hands pull me upright.

“Nah. I just don’t wanna do something I’ll regret just ’cause I actually have a shot at doing it with you. I mean, I totally jacked off to your profile pic, like, at least four times this week. So, I know I want to. But I don’t know if I want to. You know?”