Erica
Erica’s thoughts zigzagged in her mind. Twenty minutes ago she’d been crying silently in her bunk. Everything huh? Well that sums it up then. Henry’s voice had spun on repeat in her head, and the more she heard the hurt in his tone, the more she’d realized what she’d done, and the more she’d cried, heaving sobs and tears that had flooded out of her as if she were a lovesick teenager with her first broken heart. She’d even tried to call Henry back on the Sat phone, but she hadn’t been able to figure out how it worked.
When Rachel had stepped in to the cabin, Erica had stayed silent and still, feigning sleep. The last thing she’d wanted to do was chitchat. But then Noah had started talking about Billy and Molly, and Erica’s world had turned on its head; her own problems fading into the background, paling and oh so insignificant.
Noah was responsible for Billy’s death. Noah, who seemed like a nice, decent person, who Erica quite liked, had been driving the car that killed Billy.
‘You killed Billy,’ Erica whispered. The grief, like a force slamming into her. A memory of Billy laughing down at them from the top of an old oak tree flashed in Erica’s mind. Then another memory: the phone shaking violently in her hand, the sound of Joyce sobbing into the receiver. ‘Billy was killed last night.’
Erica blinked, forcing the memories away and glancing between Rachel and Noah, sitting side by side at the end of the bunk. Noah’s body was bent forward, elbows on knees. His lips were pressed tight together and his forehead creased with lines. The tears on his cheeks shone in the torchlight.
Rachel on the other hand sat straight-backed, her head held high, her face void of emotion except her eyes, which were wide and glassy with tears. Erica had the sudden urge to launch herself across the room and slap Rachel’s face.
‘I need to find Molly,’ Erica mumbled.
‘Please, let me tell her,’ Noah said. ‘I’ve wanted …’ He cleared his throat. ‘I never knew Billy’s name. I quit before I found out, then no one would tell me anything.’ Noah shot a glare of absolute hate at Rachel.
‘You still work there?’ Erica turned her gaze on Rachel.
Rachel nodded. ‘In the PR department.’
‘Right,’ Erica replied. ‘So you concocted this whole plan did you? Put Noah and Molly together in the middle of nowhere and hope they’d make up and both move on with their lives?’
Rachel opened her mouth to reply but closed it again as if thinking better of it.
‘How did you find out we were going to be on this trip in the first place?’
‘Facebook,’ Rachel mumbled, staring at her hands again. ‘I looked up Billy’s Facebook profile. It was still activated, and I found Molly. You’d tagged her in a couple of posts about the challenge.’ Rachel shrugged. ‘I just thought it would be good if Noah saw that she was OK, you know?’
‘No.’ Erica shook her head. ‘I don’t know. I need to tell Molly,’ Erica muttered as much to herself as Noah and Rachel. ‘She has to know.’
‘Please, Erica, let me be the one to tell Molly,’ Noah begged again.
Erica paced the cabin. She clawed her fingers at the neck of her jacket until she found the zip and yanked it down. It did nothing to dispel the feeling of suffocation gripping her body.
Noah was responsible for Billy’s death. How would Molly take it?
Tears welled in Erica’s eyes as she studied Noah’s face. She’d heard enough of his argument with Rachel to see how much he too had been affected by Billy’s death but it didn’t curb the hurt tearing at her heart.
Erica pictured the anger in Molly’s eyes when she’d spoken about Billy’s death. Molly wanted to know the truth about what happened to Billy, and now Erica knew it, but would Molly find comfort in it, or more anger?
‘I don’t know.’ Erica shook her head. ‘She has to know. Maybe you being there would be better. I don’t know.’ A memory of Molly’s nine-year-old face, stricken and hurt, flashed in Erica’s thoughts. The swish of black curls and denim jacket as she’d spun around and raced flat out into the crowds at Meadowhall. ‘But not now,’ Erica said.
‘What? But –’
‘We’re in the middle nowhere. I … I don’t know how she’ll take it. Molly idolized Billy. His death has all but destroyed her.’ Tears dropped uninhibited from Erica’s eyes. Her nose was running too but she didn’t care. ‘I can’t let you tell her when there’s nowhere for her to go. You tell her or I tell her – it doesn’t matter really – but either way, not until we get to the Icehotel. Understand? That goes for you too, Rachel. Keep your mouth shut. These are people’s lives, you know? You cannot mess around with that. He was my brother too –’A sudden sob shook Erica’s body.
‘Erica,’ Noah said. ‘I’m so sorry.’
She shook her head. ‘Is it true – was it an accident?’
Noah nodded. ‘I … I was driving the car. We were chasing two suspects we’d had under surveillance. It was dark, the streets were empty, and I was so focused on the car in front that I didn’t see Billy until it was too late. I swerved and skidded on ice and hit a lamppost. My DI was in the passenger seat. He … died too. I killed them both.’
Tears poured down Noah’s face. He wiped the back of his hands across his cheeks and fixed Erica with eyes full of horror and sorrow. ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered.
She bit her lip and swallowed before she trusted herself to speak. ‘Did he suffer?’ she asked.
He shook his head, freeing two teardrops that ran in lines either side of his face. ‘I tried to save him. I did CPR until the ambulance arrived. You have to believe me, I tried everything, but I … I couldn’t. He was unconscious the whole time. I don’t think he felt anything.’ Noah stood up, towering over Erica in the small cabin. ‘I’m so so sorry, Erica.’
Erica pulled in a shaky breath and steadied herself on the table. ‘I need some air.’
In the back of Erica’s mind, she knew Noah was hurting too. Maybe he’d been affected by Billy’s death just as much as Molly, but right now her own grief and the knowledge of what Noah had done were all she could feel, all she could cope with. Erica grabbed her torch and strode from the cabin without a word.