Erica
The buzz of the group hovered in the air as Valek passed out their equipment. The weight of the snow trousers and jacket felt as squishy as a winter duvet in Erica’s arms. Beside the warmth from the open fire the cold seemed little more than a figment. As if the very idea of needing so many layers to keep warm was actually quite ludicrous.
‘You must leave your non-essential items here at Huskyleir. No extra weight on the sleds,’ Valek added. The second challenge leader spoke perfect English, heavily accented with his Norwegian tones, which added an extra high vowel to his words, so that sled became sle-ee-d.
Valek was tall and wide with shocking black hair and a large forehead that sloped inwards towards his eyes and a small nose. His skin had a leathery mottled look to it. And with the deep scar running down one cheek and two fingers missing on his left hand, he had the look of a man who had lived and breathed the wild for all of his life. He was the Norwegian Crocodile Dundee, Erica thought with an inward smile, recalling the weird teenage crush she’d had on Paul Hogan.
‘You’ve been put into two teams for the challenge. Team A will be led by Valek,’ Lee said. ‘And team B by me. Team A, you’re sleeping in hut one for the next two nights, and team B, you’re in hut two.’ Lee dropped his gaze and examined the paperwork.’
‘Team A, you are Greg, William, Edward, Harriet, and Francesca. Team B, you are Molly, Erica, Rachel, and Noah. Get some rest now, guys. Breakfast will be here in the Lavvu at six o’clock sharp. After the briefing and a practice with the sleds, we’ll have a dry run of pitching camp before heading back here for dinner and bed. The minibus will be taking us to Signal Valley and the start of our challenge before dawn the following morning.’
‘Any questions on what we’ve covered so far?’ Lee smiled and looked around the group.
‘When you say non-essentials –’ Frankie asked, grinning at the group.
‘Hairbrushes, make-up, wash kits, razors, music players, all spare … er … clothes, underwear, phones, and electrical equipment of any kind.’ Valek reeled off the list as if he’d said it a hundred times.
‘Believe me,’ Lee added, ‘when we’re out there, putting on fresh clothes will not factor into your thoughts. The only opportunity for a wash after we leave Huskyleir is if any of you decide to strip off and roll in the snow.’
A murmur of nervous laughter travelled around the hut. Erica felt it too. The sense of excitement and the fear of the unknown. Just what had she signed them up for?
Erica shot a look to Molly, standing beside Harry. Molly’s face was tight and a single crease ran the length of her forehead. Molly was beautiful, even with the hate that seemed to be pouring out of her.
This trip would help Molly – Erica was sure of it. Wasn’t she? The needle of guilt returned in Erica’s insides. Are you sure this trip was about reconnecting with Molly? a voice whispered in her head. Are you sure it wasn’t just as much about escape? The realization of the lies Erica had told hit with the force of a sledgehammer.
Her thoughts drifted to their home in Walthamstow. She pictured Henry stretched out on the black leather sofa, watching the new World War II film he’d had his eye on for the last few weeks. She imagined the bottle of French red wine open on the countertop and his dinner plate scraped, rinsed, and stacked by the sink.
Henry was the tidy up in the morning kind of person. Erica preferred to get it all packed in the dishwasher straight after dinner. It was a five-minute job that saved the kitchen reeking of stir-fry and cooked meats at breakfast. Erica was normally the one to tidy up. Even the times when she’d been out at a work dinner, or been stuck in the office and had to grab the last congealed egg and cress sandwich from the vending machine, she still found herself tidying up the kitchen when she got home.
They were different in other ways too. In every way, she thought. It boiled down to their personality types. Henry was laid-back, happy to go with the flow, and Erica wasn’t. Erica needed to know what was coming around the corner and prepare.
When they’d first started dating, they’d laughed at the other one’s quirks, and their own. After their relationship had turned serious, Erica had found solace in Henry’s laid-back attitude to life. When she’d arrived back from work, exhausted, stressed, and having not seen daylight since the weekend, it was Henry who helped her relax and laugh again.
It wasn’t like that any more. Their differences were no longer funny, or cute, but infuriating. She knew Henry hated her need to clean something the moment she saw it. He hated the long hours she spent at work too, just as she hated how everything – the bills, the insurance, tax, even the TV licence – fell to her to sort out.
‘It’s Saturday, Erica,’ he’d hissed at her last month. ‘Is it too much to ask that you switch off for the day and be a human fucking being? Is it too much to ask that you actually spend time with us? With Isla? You haven’t seen her since Sunday last week. Do you realize that?’
Of course she’d realized that. What kind of monster did he think she was? ‘I saw her at breakfast,’ she’d snapped back as guilt had welled inside her body. ‘Our home insurance is up for renewal. I’m trying to get us a better deal that could save us hundreds of pounds.’
He’d slammed the door to the study shut but not before she’d heard his final comment. ‘Some things are more important.’
Henry was right of course. She could’ve waited until the evening to compare insurance quotes, but the reminder had pinged up on her phone and the desire to complete the job had been too overwhelming to ignore. Even with Henry pissed at her, and the guilt of knowing she should be spending time with Isla, Erica couldn’t bring herself to stop.
It was the same now. The same feeling. The same guilt. She should never have signed up, never have convinced Molly to come with her, never should’ve lied to Henry or Molly. But she couldn’t stop herself.
The thought of her life unravelling tightened her chest just as much as the thought of continuing with her double life. It had to stop. She had to stop. There had to be a way out without hurting everyone she loved. Erica just needed a plan. This trip was her chance to get some distance from Henry, and the lies. She’d have plenty of time to find a solution. Wouldn’t she?