Bestseller: Single Dad’s Christmas Present

A Dad’s Best Friend Romance

 

Chapter 1

Gage

Snow trickled down steadily from the thick grey clouds above. Warm candle light spilled through the kitchen and dining room. Shadows danced along the walls. The heater kicked on to combat the chill clinging to the air, but not down here. Not with Amber standing in front of me, dressed in a pair of skintight, maroon-colored leggings and a tight, long-sleeved shirt that hugged her breasts perfectly. Her blonde and wavy hair was pulled up in a messy bun on top of her head, and strands of hair framed her pale face.

Candle light flickered in her blue eyes that were shimmering with desire. I swallowed thickly as she took a slow and deliberate step towards me. Within a matter of seconds, things would change. I wouldn’t be straddling that line of wanting Amber, my best friend’s adult daughter, in my bed. It wouldn’t be a long-desired fantasy any longer. Everything would change.

I couldn’t think straight, even if I wanted to. My skin tightened around muscles and bone, making it hard to shift without pain. Blood rushed down in a southerly direction. My cock hardened with anticipation when Amber’s full red lips parted to inhale sharply.

“You’re beautiful,” I said, and the roughness in my voice wasn’t surprising. I was trying desperately to hold my breath to keep control over the rage of lust in me. “So beautiful, Amber. You have no fucking idea how beautiful you are.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “Gage, please.”

Those two little words nearly unhinged me. The desire in Amber’s eyes was bright and flickering, no longer murky behind other emotions. She took another step to close the gap between us. The first brush of her soft hands against mine sent electric jolts up my arms. She gently coaxed my hands to rest on the fullness of her hips. A shiver went up my spine when her fingers traced the veins up my arms before resting on the curve of my shoulders.

Her body was thrumming with energy. I could feel it radiating off her in waves, and my own body was soaking it up eagerly. It felt right, too fucking right with Amber’s delicate, but strong body pressing up against my own. There was nothing naïve about her touch as her fingers slid down to rest on my upper chest, bunching the fabric of my shirt there.

“Are you sure about this?” I asked quietly.

My own fingers started to trace the curve of her hips through the soft cotton fabric of her leggings. They rolled seamlessly underneath my touch.

Rapid breaths escaped Amber’s lips as her chest heaved. My own heart was pounding furiously against my ribcage. I couldn’t breathe easily, either, against the tension bubbling between us.

“Of course, I am,” she murmured, gripping the fabric of my shirt tightly. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Gage. You have no idea.”

I groaned inwardly at that confession. “How long?”

“Since I was a sophomore in high school.” Her lips curved up into a smile. “Do you remember the summer barbecues my dad used to do?”

Summer barbecues in Colorado Springs at the Roselyn house were one of the few memories I had over the past ten years that were full of life and happiness, outside of my daughter. I nodded affirmatively.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” Amber whispered. “But I just felt things for you then that never went away. You had taken off your shirt to jump into the swimming pool, and I kept thinking how sexy you were. How any woman would be lucky to experience that in their bed every single night.”

My eyes slipped closed when Amber’s hands slid up to trace the muscles in my neck. Her fingers buried into the strands of my hair, massaging my scalp expertly. She was trying to ease the tension out of me, to get me to cave in.

Which was working. I could feel my resolve starting to crumble, fast and hard. It took all my strength to not snag her up into my arms to kiss her senselessly. Ethan was sound asleep on the couch with a blanket tucked around him securely behind Amber, while Lily slept in the adjacent couch with her favorite blanket. I couldn’t risk waking one of the kids up to see us wrapped up in one another. They had been through enough.

“Amber,” I warned.

“Shh.” She placed a finger on my lips. “Come back upstairs, Gage. I’m telling you that I want you, that I have wanted you for a very long time. Don’t question it.”

“I just want to make sure that you know what will happen.” I caught her eyes then. “What it will do if we go through with this.”

A frown tugged at her lips. “You’re implying that what we feel for one another is a bad thing.”

“Because that’s how others will see it. Your dad—”

“Do me a favor, and don’t mention my dad. He doesn’t have control over who I want, or who I want to be with.” A fire filled Amber’s eyes then. “I’m twenty-five years old. I’m an adult who is capable of making decisions when it comes to life and sex. And I want you, Gage. Only you. You’re the only man I have ever wanted.”

She grasped my hand, drawing it away from her hip, and tugged me in the direction of the stairs. My legs followed without hesitation, despite the war raging in my head. My heart and cock were already set on having Amber. There was no denying the stiff erection pressed uncomfortably against the band of my jeans, begging to be released.

This was my best friend’s daughter. I had watched her grow up into a young and beautiful woman over the years. When had things shifted? I couldn’t recall the time when I no longer looked at Amber as the young teenage girl with braces and innocent smile. All I could focus on was the firm curve of Amber’s ass cheeks that were on full display while I followed her up the stairs.

All sane thoughts and logic were chased away when Amber pushed the door open to my bedroom. She closed it shut behind me, locking it just in case.

I’m not sure who moved first, but the final resolve of my self-control crumpled. My arms were wrapped tightly around Amber’s trim waist while her head tilted back in anticipation of a kiss. The first brush of her lips against mine, feather light and tasting of vanilla, drained the rest of the blood from my head. Heat seared through the center of me. I teetered on the ledge of completely losing control when Amber’s teeth nipped at my lower lip, tugging at it seductively.

I jumped off that fucking ledge.

A growl tore through my throat as I pressed my lips against hers for a kiss. Her lips met mine eagerly, parting without hesitation when I swept a tongue along the line of her lips. The taste of her, overwhelmed my senses as the tips of our tongues battled for dominance, and our hands gripped at what they could grip at.

Lust blinded me. I couldn’t see straight, even if I tried to look past Amber. My hands eagerly explored the firmness of her ass cheeks before sliding up under her shirt. Her skin was soft and hot underneath my fingertips, while her own hands reached for my shirt to tug at it insistently. I was reluctant to let go of the sensation of Amber’s skin, but desperate to get closer to her as much as possible.

The heat between us soared higher. I tore my lips away from Amber’s mouth to kiss my way down the column of her throat. Her pulse pounded against my teeth when I tasted the salty skin there.

“Gage,” she groaned, pressing up against me. “Please. Don’t tease me.”

“Foreplay is essential,” I said against her skin. “I’m well aware of how women need some extra time to get ready.”

Her nails scratched their way down the curve of my back. I let out a hiss of arousal at that, while her lips curved up into a seductive smile.

“Ten years’ worth of foreplay is enough,” she said.

Our lips met in another heated kiss while I tried to blindly navigate through the room with Amber in my arms. I felt the edge of the bed hit the back of my legs, and twisting around with Amber in my arms, I laid her down on the edge. She let out a gasp against my lips, but raised her arms without prompt. I gathered the fabric of her ribbed shirt in my fingers. Blood pounded in my veins as I tugged her shirt up and over.

Perfectly rounded breasts threatened to spill out of the simple black bra she wore. Her stomach was toned from years of running after Ethan. She was utterly fucking perfect, every man’s wet dream.

“Your turn,” Amber said.

She grabbed the hem of my own shirt, tugging it upward before standing up to pull it over my head. Before I could reach forward to cup a perfectly shaped breast, Amber’s hands were trailing down my chest in teasing and fiery trails.

“Amber.”

“Hmm?”

Hot and wet lips pressed up against my shoulder.

“What are you doing?” I groaned out as those wicked lips trailed further down the center of my chest.

Warm breath puffed against my lower stomach. A finger dipped into the band of my jeans teasingly against my rock-hard cock. My head fell back at the simple, but erotic touch. I was ready to bury myself into this woman hard. I couldn’t even think straight any longer.

I reached down to grab at her shoulders, but Amber swatted them away. She undid the button of my jeans with a mischievous smile. Oh, fuck no. My hips thrusted forward eagerly at the thought before I could even control the urge. There was no way in sweet hell that I would last with that hot mouth on me.

“Don’t you dare,” I whispered harshly. “I won’t last, Amber. Fuck. I won’t last at all if you do what I’m thinking you are going to do.”

My jeans loosened, followed by the zipper. I was powerless as she tugged the fabric of my jeans and boxers down. My cock strained toward her, hard and glistening at the tip. It throbbed when Amber’s fingers wrapped around it firmly with an appreciative groan.

“So big,” she murmured. “Just like I imagined. Just one little taste, Gage. That’s all I’m going to do.”

“That better be it,” I said hoarsely. “I’m not wasting this time on a blow job.”

“Just a taste.”

The second that sweet heat engulfed the tip of me intimately, I was gone. I was lost in a violent sea of pleasure that I tried to swim through, but it was too hard. Amber’s lips moved up and down expertly. Her hands gripped my hips tightly in response when I let out a jagged cry. I couldn’t think past the heat of her mouth, or the delicious friction of her lips on my cock.

I was on the brink of one of the best damn orgasms of my life with the woman of my fantasies in control of it. Except, I wasn’t going to be the only one on the brink. She would be too.

“Slow it down, baby,” I gritted out, reaching down to disengage her mouth from me. My balls ached in response, but I ignored the pain of it. “I’m not the only one here that is going to have an orgasm.”

Amber rose to her feet while she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. There were times that I could still see that innocence in her eyes. She had only been with one man before me. Sex was still a relatively new concept for her, but damn, those talented hands and kissable mouth knew otherwise.

I gathered her in my arms to kiss her again. Her breasts pushed up against my chest. Unable to stand it any longer, I reached around to the clasp of her bra. The fabric loosened against her shoulders, and I coaxed the straps down before tossing it to the ground. My mouth went dry as I took in the perfect mounds of liquid flesh with pink nipples that were straining for attention.

It occurred to me then that I would never be able to let Amber out of this bedroom. She was the woman I wanted, and a part of me knew that I would never be able to let go now that we were sprinting across boundaries to the other side.

“Gage?”

I looked up at the surprising tininess in her voice. Nervousness stretched across her face when our eyes met.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I just… I just thought you were disappointed for a moment.”

I bit back a scoff. Disappointed? I was standing in front of her, pants down and around my ankles still, with a hard erection begging to be buried in her sweet heat. I never felt more exposed in my entire life, but this was Amber. I reminded myself that while she was an adult, she was still young to understanding that any hot-blooded male was going to be insanely happy with a woman like her in front of them.

Reaching forward, I curved my hand along her cheek to bring her in for a soft kiss that instantly lessened the tension in her spine.

“I would never be disappointed with you,” I whispered, brushing a thumb along her cheekbone. “You’re beautiful, Amber. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.”

She smiled up at me softly. “Thank you.”

I coaxed her to lay across the middle of my bed, helping her settle against the pillows there. I kicked my jeans and boxers away before climbing onto the bed. A shiver went up my spine while I leaned over her. I gazed down at her as that same heat and passion returned to the blue orbs looking up at me.

“Ready for this?”

Chapter 2

Amber

 

 

“Ready for this?”

I stared up at the one man that I have truly wanted more than anything in my entire life. It sounded like an exaggeration, even to my own ears, but it was the truth. I had wanted Gage Devlin since I was fifteen years old and on the cusp of being a full-grown teenager. Back then, I had restrained myself from even acting out on those type of urges that I felt for Gage. Crushing on an older man wasn’t a cool thing by any standards, but those days were long gone.

I was twenty-five years old. I had a three-year old son that I loved more than life itself. I could do whatever the fuck I wanted, even if I knew it was wrong. Except, it felt right to be laying there in the middle of Gage’s comfortable bed in a sea of blankets and pillows.

He was stretched halfway over me, deliciously naked as he looked down at me for permission. The heat between my thighs was the answer. I could feel the wetness soaking through the fabric of my underwear and leggings. All I wanted was that rock-hard cock buried deep inside of me.

I didn’t care if Gage was my dad’s best friend, or that he was twice my age. I wanted this man more than anything. His hands had already elicited delicious feelings inside of me within the short few minutes since Gage had finally caved in to what he wanted. And that gave me more pleasure, knowing that Gage wanted me. He craved me. I could feel his erection straining against my thigh.

“Yes,” I said, nodding at him. “I’m ready.”

The corner of Gage’s lips quirked up. He leaned down to press his lips against mine, and I was lost again in the sensation of our tongues touching. It felt so good. Too damn good. Gage overwhelmed me in every sense as he gently pushed my legs apart to move in between them. His lips tore away from mine to trail kisses again down the column of my neck.

My heart raced as those sinful lips traced the edge of my collarbone before trailing down further. I arched up in pleasure when his hands reached up to grasp both my breasts firmly. He worked the flesh there expertly until I was breathless and squirming, but it didn’t stop there. His lips trailed down the curve of my right breast before gently sucking in a nipple that begged to be touched.

“Oh, god,” I groaned, threading my fingers through his hair. “Please, Gage. Don’t draw this out even more.”

“You teased me,” he murmured against my breast. “It’s payback.”

His lips continued down past my belly button. I didn’t hesitate to lift my hips when he hooked his fingers into the bands of my leggings and underwear. He tugged the both of them down my legs smoothly, tossing them into the dark abyss surrounding the bed. The heater kicked on again. I could feel the blast of warm heat entering the room, but quickly realized it was me.

Heat radiated off my flushed skin as Gage’s hands smoothed down the inside of my thighs. The tips of his thumbs brushed against the apex of my thighs. I jerked at the feathery touch, propping myself up on my elbows to stare down at him through heavy breaths. He grinned up at me from his kneeling position between my bent knees. We were both naked, hot, and ready for this to go on. Yet, Gage was hell-bent on dragging it out even more.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

Realization shot through me when Gage grinned devilishly at me. He slowly flattened down to lay on his stomach. Hot breath puffed against the core of me. Alarm skittered through me at the boldness. This was intimate, almost too intimate for the first time. I reached down with the intention to stop him, but the first brush of his tongue chased away any lingering hesitation.

His mouth sucked and licked expertly against the bundle of nerves between my legs. My heavy breaths turned into pants as I tried desperately to cling to reality, but all I could feel was Gage between my legs steadily working me toward release. Higher and higher I soared with my fingers clutching the bed sheets in a death grip. An orgasm spiraled down on me, leaving me a hot and quivering mess with Gage chuckling.

“Wow,” I breathed out, heart pounding. “You’re a pro at that. It didn’t take you long.”

“Years of foreplay, dear,” he returned with a rogue wink. “How do you feel?”

“Amazing. I feel amazing.”

The tip of Gage’s cock brushed against the slickness between my thighs. A shiver shot up my spine as Gage settled against me intimately, with our chests pressed against one another. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and brought my knees up to his hips as anticipation spiraled through me.

Gage buried his head against the side of my neck when he pushed forward to enter me. I clenched my teeth at the sting of it at first. It had been a long time since I’d last enjoyed this, but the stinging sensation gave away when his hips rolled back to thrust deep. An entirely different sensation built in my stomach as Gage’s body writhed against mine. He set a fast and deep pace. His panting was ragged against my neck. Every inch of his body was stiff with a pending release.

I was helpless against the onslaught of it, but in the best way possible. All I could do was bury my fingers into his shoulders and wrap my legs around his waist tightly to bring him closer and deeper. Our sweat slicked skin smacked against one another’s. I could dimly hear the bedframe shaking through our pants and groans.

Pleasure was building again. I squirmed against it while Gage’s hands planted themselves firmly in the mattress next to my head. Sweat beaded along his forehead. His eyes were closed in pleasure, and it was the most incredibly erotic thing to watch every flicker of emotion and sensation go across his face. His eyes jerked open suddenly.

“Amber—”

“I know,” I moaned out, lost in it as well. “I feel it, Gage. Keep going. Don’t stop.”

He gritted his teeth while picking up the pace even more. My world went black with searing heat as another orgasm bubbled in my stomach before popping. I stifled my cries of pleasure against Gage’s shoulder while I felt his body go stiff against mine before he released. I felt the warmth of it inside of me as he sank against me with a relieved groan. He pulled out a second later before collapsing on the bed next to me.

My heart refused to stop pounding. I stared up at the dark ceiling, sucking in deep breaths while the sweat on my skin cooled. My body still thrummed with the lasting afterglow of two amazing orgasms. I reached up to wipe my head in disbelief. Two in a row. I couldn’t even do that with my own hand.

I could feel Gage laying in the dark next to me, trying to catch his breath, too. Our arms brushed when I reached for his hand in the dark. I wanted to say something before the glow went away, but a blood-curdling and terrified scream from downstairs startled the both of us.

“Mom!”

“Ethan,” I gasped, jumping off the bed quickly. Panic roared through me at his terrified cries.

I frantically searched the floor for my clothes, pulling on my leggings without any underwear. I found my shirt a second later, jamming it over my head as I ran out, with Gage pulling on his clothes behind me. The entire bottom half of the house was dark. The candles had gone out, but I could see Ethan’s tiny body standing in the middle of the living room with his blanket clutched tightly to him.

Wrapping my arms around his quivering shoulders, I turned Ethan to pull him into me. His body trembled against mine. I could see the watery surface of tears in his fright-stricken eyes in the dark.

Nightmares. I knew it the second I had heard those screams from upstairs. Ethan wrapped his arms around my neck, burrowing against me for safety. I kneeled there on the cold hardwood floors while his little body trembled against mine.

“What’s going on?”

I turned to look over at Lily, standing near the edge of the couch. Her eyes were wide with fright and confusion as she gazed at Ethan.

“Just a dream,” I told her. “It’s okay, Lily. Sometimes he has bad dreams.”

“About what?” Lily asked.

“I’m not sure,” I said, even though I knew. Those same dreams plagued me, too, at times. There were times that I woke up drenched in sweat with Scott’s scowling face still etched in my mind.

“Well, is he going to keep having nightmares?” Lily asked, hands on her hips in annoyance. “I don’t want him sleeping down here if he’s going to keep waking me up with bad dreams.”

“Lily.”

The sound of Gage’s voice cutting through the dark caught us both by surprise. I glanced over my shoulder to find Gage standing in the door frame of the living room, frowning at his daughter who immediately looked ashamed.

“Ethan is only three-years old,” he scolded quietly. “You used to have nightmares, too. Don’t be mean.”

“I’m sorry,” Lily said. Her tangled brunette locks covered her face when she glanced down at the floor. “Is Ethan going to be okay?”

I rubbed soothing circles along Ethan’s back as he calmed down. I could feel the fear draining out of him steadily. Exhaustion eventually took back over, and he climbed sleepily into my lap to nestle against me. Sweeping him up in my arms, I cherished the weight of his warm body against my own while I settled down into the couch cushions. These types of moments were stretching far and few in between. Ethan never cuddled much because of Scott accusing me of coddling him too much. “He’ll never be a man if you insist on holding him all the time,” he had said.

“He’ll be fine,” I replied, but I had no idea if he would be. I had no idea if I was ever going to be fine again.

I glanced up to see Gage peering at me intently in the dark. A rush went through me when our eyes met, and that lingering desire filled the air between us. He knew just as well as I did what caused Ethan’s nightmares at night. He looked away to coax Lily back onto the other couch across from ours. Stretching out alongside his daughter, Gage draped a heavy blanket over the both of them while they settled down.

Ethan yawned sleepily against my shoulder. I draped a blanket over the both of us too, and while Ethan slipped back into dreamland, I found myself gazing out through the living room window. Around this time of the night in the middle of winter, I felt the calmest and most content. Snow continued to blanket the world outside of the window. Tomorrow, we would take the kids to go sledding down one of slopes in the Rocky Mountains that every parent around Colorado Springs took their kids to whenever it snowed.

None of that took away from the tension now radiating in the living room. I glanced over to find Gage’s eyes closed, but I knew he wasn’t asleep yet. He never fell asleep fast—exactly like me.

How did I end up here?

The past few years of my life seemed like an unreal blur. The first time I had met Gage was at a summer barbecue that my father had put on. I was a nerdy sophomore, trying not to be aroused by the masculinity that Gage exuded at the time, while playing a fun game of football to stripping down to jump into the pool. Gage’s friendship with my father had started when the both of them worked together on cyber security. My father had been the head of the cyber security congressional committee while Gage’s cyber defense software was picking up popularity with governmental agencies. It was a match made in heaven, but looking back at it now, I realized it was much bigger than that.

I believed in predestined events. Everything and everyone in my life were a part of a plan that I had no control over anymore, it seemed like. While Gage had gone on to get married and to eventually lose his wife, I had gone through college before marrying Scott. Our lives had separated for a long time until recently.

Ethan’s breathing evened out, but I didn’t even bother trying to move away from him. I wanted to stay like this in the hush of a winter night with the heaters kicking on as a comforting noise. I didn’t want to broach that subject with Gage about what was going to happen now. I knew that it wouldn’t be an easy conversation, given that my father was a well-known and liked congressman. Sleeping with my father’s best friend screamed against all the moral values that my father expected me to follow. My divorce from Scott had already raised enough disapproving eyebrows from the community until my father’s public relations team explained to the press why Scott and I were filing for divorce.

Watching my life being dissected on television, to be told that divorce was considered an abomination despite the reasons behind it, was already hard enough. I could only imagine what the press and the residents of Colorado Springs would think of me now.

Chapter 3

One Month Earlier

Gage

 

 

Hot sweat dripped down the back of my neck as I gathered another load of chopped firewood from the shed outside. Knee-high snow crunched beneath my feet as I pushed through the snow in the direction of the back porch that was shoveled off now. Winters in Bozeman, Montana had a tendency to be isolating and harsh. The elements were always against you if you weren’t prepared for a long season of biting cold and steady snowfalls.

I stopped on the back-porch step to scan the surrounding evergreen pines that were covered with snow. The hushed silence was comforting. Thick snowflakes fluttered down from the grey and overcast skies.

Being surrounded by nature had always been more important to me than the bustle of a city. After the boom of my cyber defense software, I had purchased twenty acres of land outside of Bozeman to build the log home of my dreams. Being immersed in computers day in and day out exhausted me. It made the forest feel more peaceful.

“Dad!”

The sliding glass door opened. I turned to find Lily holding out the phone to me with a frown tugging at her lips.

“Phone for you,” she said. “I’m in the middle of a movie.”

I set the pile of chopped wood down next to the sliding glass door to grab later. Warm air rushed out as I took the phone from Lily.

“Who is it?” I asked.

“No idea,” she replied and took off in the direction of the living room.

I watched her tangled brunette locks swing in the ponytail she wore all the time now. She refused to brush it, or to let me brush it. “You don’t do it right,” she’d said. “Mom did it right.”

Closing the door to keep the heat in, I stomped my boots on the rug to shake off the snow.

“Gage Devlin,” I said crisply. “How can I help you?”

“Gage, it’s Beau Roselyn. How are you my friend?”

“I’m fine,” I replied, frowning as I slipped out of my boots to keep from tracking snow throughout the kitchen. “How are you, friend?”

“You sound a bit surprised to hear from me.”

“I am. I’m surprised that you were able to call the landline in the middle of this snowstorm.”

“Persistence pays off,” Beau said, laughing. “It took me by surprise to hear how grown up Lily sounds on the phone. I almost thought it was Marcie who answered the phone.”

“She sounds like her. She even looks like her mother. Spitting image, in fact.”

I poured myself a cup of hot coffee before settling down at the kitchen island. While I was close friends with Beau Roselyn, a congressman from Colorado Springs, I knew there was a reason for him to be calling. Nothing that Beau Roselyn did wasn’t a part of a plan. He was a skilled politician with a shit-eating grin that could disarm anyone.

“I have a favor to ask of you,” Beau said. “A big favor, actually. Would it be possible to meet here in Colorado Springs tomorrow? Lunch would be on me.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes, tomorrow. If it is possible.”

There was something off about Beau’s request, but I couldn’t put a finger on it. I respected Beau for his dedication to his job as a congressman. He did everything he could to help the community. He sacrificed a lot of his personal life, but when Marcie had passed away, he had dropped everything without a second thought to travel up here with his wife, to help with Lily and the funeral.

I frowned as I gazed through the kitchen window above the sink. Traveling to Colorado Springs for ten hours would be a bitch, but if Beau needed something, I couldn’t say no. Not after everything he had done for me.

“I’ll speak with my sister-in-law about watching Lily for two days,” I said. “The country club?”

“The country club,” Beau said. “Thank you, Gage. I appreciate you coming down to talk. I’m in need of a favor.”

“What sort of favor?” I asked.

Chatter filled the other end of the phone.

“I’ll explain tomorrow,” he said, distracted. “I’ll plan on seeing you at eight-thirty at the country club.”

He hung up before I could say another word. Sighing, I dialed Raychelle’s land line, since cell service was down from the storm.

“You’re kidding, right?” she asked. “Gage, it’s a blizzard out there.”

“I’m aware of the conditions,” I said. “Beau needs a favor. I can’t turn away from that.”

“What if it isn’t personal, Gage?” Raychelle asked, exasperated. “I mean, you’re done with work. You’re able to send people to go meet with Beau if it has something to do with your business.”

“I don’t know what it is that he wants. I just don’t want to drive around with Lily in the car. She won’t enjoy the ten-hour drive.”

Raychelle sighed into the phone. “I told my sister that I would help you and look after Lily, no matter what. So, bring her down here with some overnight things. I’ll make it a fun visit.”

“Great. Thanks, Racyhelle. I appreciate it.”

I found Lily sprawled out on the couch with a bowl of mushy cereal in her lap. Her hazel-colored eyes were focused on the television screen mounted above the fireplace, oblivious to me standing behind her. The more I looked at Lily, the more I saw Marcie, and it hurt like fucking hell. The two of them could pass for twins.

Lily’s eyes flicked over to where I was standing above her behind the couch. She frowned up at me.

“What?”

“I was wondering if you would be okay staying with Aunt Ray tonight?” I asked, watching her expression carefully.

These days, Lily went through phases of a normal ten-year old girl, but also through deep and depressive phases that started weeks after her mother’s death. The both of us were still adjusting to Marcie never walking through the front doors again, or coming downstairs to find breakfast on the table well before we were even awake. Then, there were the phases where Lily refused to have anything to do with me, and then she wanted to be with me twenty-four hours a day. It was a whirlwind that Raychelle assured me was typical of a prepubescent teen girl, trying to come to terms with her mother’s death.

Lily’s eyes visibly brightened at that. “Yes! It’s boring here, Dad. All I can do is watch TV while I wait for the internet to come on. Does Aunt Ray have internet?”

“I’m sure she does,” I said, relief pouring through me. “Go on. Get a bag packed up for the next few days, in case I can’t make it back.”

Lily shot up from the couch, nearly spilling her bowl of cereal in the process, and handed it to me in passing. I rinsed the bowl out in the sink before heading up to my own room to pack for the drive. Thirty minutes later, I carried both our bags to the jeep, with Lily crunching through the snow happily alongside me. Seeing Raychelle always seemed to brighten Lily’s day. She had latched onto Raychelle after Marcie’s death for good reason. There were things happening in Lily’s world that I didn’t have a clue about, and I didn’t want to know about, either.

The trip back into town was silent, with Lily gazing out the passenger window. Raychelle’s house was in a small suburb on the outskirts of Bozeman, and the roads were at least plowed with gravel thrown on them for traction. The front porch light was on, a hazy light through the blur of snow as I parked on the curb.

“Aunt Ray,” Lily hollered, opening the passenger door without hesitation. “I’m here!”

The front door immediately opened as I slid out from behind the steering wheel with a sigh. Grabbing her pink duffle bag, I watched as Lily jogged through the snowy pathway and yard to where Raychelle stood in a bright yellow sweater. She gladly accepted Lily into her arms with a wide smile.

“Hello, sweetheart,” she said. “I’m glad that you’re going to be staying here with me. It’s boring all by myself.”

Lily made a face at me as I came up the pathway to hand over her pink duffle bag. “Yeah, I know. It’s so boring at Dad’s house when it’s just the two of us.”

“Hence, why you are here,” I replied, kissing her temple with a smile. “I’ll see in you two days, okay? Behave for your aunt.”

Raychelle ushered Lily through the front door. “Go on, dear. I need to speak with your dad for a minute before he takes off.” She waited for Lily to shut the door before turning to face me with a frown. “What does your congressman friend want exactly this time?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “That’s why I have to go meet him.”

“Gage,” she started with a sigh, running a hand through her short grey hair, “I can’t watch Lily full time if he wants you to do another contract. The girl needs you to be there for her.”

“I’m not fully retired, Raychelle. I have to keep working if I need to. I don’t know what he wants, but he was there for me after Marcie passed away. Remember?”

“I suppose you’re right,” Raychelle said. “Let me know when you get to Colorado Springs. I’ll get Lily to school just fine.”

“Thank you, Raychelle.” I pressed a kiss to her powdered cheek that smelt of rose perfume. “I appreciate it. Take care of my little girl for me.”

“Will do. Take care of yourself on the roads.”

I spent the next ten hours driving before reaching Colorado Springs, right as the sun disappeared from the sky. The storm had moved well past Colorado Springs, but the Rocky Mountains were covered in a pure white blanket. It was a beautiful sight, coming into the bustling city.

I had no idea what Beau wanted, but he never asked for favors. I was tempted to call him from the hotel room, to tell him that another government contract would be difficult at this time with Lily. Instead, I called in to talk with Lily for a few minutes before retiring for the night.

It wasn’t until the next morning that I realized how nice it felt to see Beau’s friendly smile when I walked into the country club fifteen minutes away from the hotel. His silver hair was slicked back as usual, and he wore a nice pair of pants with a button up navy shirt.

“Good to see you,” Beau said, clasping my hand warmly. “I’m glad that you were able to make it out here.”

“I didn’t have much of a choice,” I replied as I followed him through the dining area to a private booth near windows that overlooked what was normally a green golf course. The entire place was covered in a thick snow that sparkled in the morning sunlight. “You hooked my curiosity with your abrupt call yesterday.”

“Right. I apologize for the vagueness. I was in between meetings at the time I called you.”

“No problem.”

We took a seat near the window. I could feel the cold and snowy air coming in through the window as I shrugged out of my jacket, draping it across my chair. The private dining area was filled with quiet chatter. I waited for the waiter to take our orders before gazing across the table at Beau expectantly.

“So,” I said. “What is this favor that you need? Before you answer that, I need to tell you that a contract might not be the best thing for me at the moment. You see, Lily is—”

Beau held up a hand to stop me. “This is a personal favor, Gage. I understand completely that a contract with your company would be too much at the moment.” A darkness settled across Beau’s freshly shaven face then. “I’m not sure if you have read the headlines over the past few months…”

“I’ve made it a point to avoid the headlines.”

“Wise. Very wise. I have to return to DC here soon for the start of Congress, and that’s why I asked you to come meet with me. It has to do with my daughter, Amber.”

“Amber?” I repeated, arching my eyebrows up in surprise. “What is going on with, Amber?”

“A nasty divorce,” Beau replied coldly. “The bastard she married, Scott, has been beating her for a while. They have a small child together.”

“He has been hitting her?”

The thought filled me with a blood rage. The kind of rage that you felt whenever someone hurt your baby girl. Though, Beau was much more composed about it, given he was a public figure. I would’ve torn the son of a bitch limb from limb if it was my daughter, without a care in the world. I had no reputation to worry about.

“The tabloids have been brutal,” Beau said, and ran a hand through his hair. “Divorce isn’t taken lightly here in these parts of Colorado. I’ve been sheltering Amber and Ethan as much as I can with support. I’ve got the best lawyers working this divorce out for Amber’s best interests, but my girl is taking it hard.” He stopped to smile thinly at me. “You know how Amber is. She’s always been so sensitive about everything.”

“I remember,” I said. The waiter arrived to set a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon in front of me, along with a cup of coffee. I waited for him to scurry away before looking up at Beau in confusion. “I’m a bit confused, Beau. Do you want me to kick the bastard’s ass for you? I know you politicians can’t get your hands dirty, and I wouldn’t mind doing something like that for you.”

“I wish,” Beau said. His eyes glittered coldly. “I wish it was possible. No, it’s a different type of favor that I need.”

Chapter 4

Amber

 

 

Divorce was a bitter and slow process. That was all I could think while gazing up at the shadows dancing across the ceiling of my old bedroom that was now a guest room suite. I could hear the staff downstairs, bustling about in the kitchen, getting the Roselyn house ready for the day.

Dad probably had the morning news on as usual. He took a lot of pride in keeping up with the local events and issues around Colorado, but also with the rest of the United States. It was what kept Beau Roselyn in office as a well-liked Congressman. It helped that he was the definition of a great family man who cared about his family.

I wished Scott would’ve held the same morals. My stomach twisted into horrible knots at the thought of him. Three years. Three fucking miserable years of having to cover up the bruises, lie to every single person who asked questions, and also trying to shelter Ethan from it all. It was exhausting trying to put on a brave face for Ethan every single day, now that it was all said and done with.

Scott had the divorce papers. I had packed up overnight to drive up to my parents’ log mansion in the wealthy part of Colorado Springs. Judging from the tabloids, he was furious over the divorce. He played the victim well, but it was my father’s public relations team that decided it would benefit the Roselyn name by going forward with the truth of the divorce. It was a surreal moment to watch your life spin out of control in the media and public sphere, where everyone got to nitpick and state their opinions.

I felt empty. Despite my parents’ assurance that I had made the right decision to leave and to file those divorce papers, the decision didn’t feel like entirely my own anymore.

The chatter from downstairs kept me from drifting off to sleep, even though it was tempting to do so. Ethan had been up three times throughout the night, screaming from nightmares. A headache pounded in my temples, but I forced myself to get up anyway. Coffee and some fresh winter air did sound good.

Not bothering with a shower, I slipped into a pair of tattered sweatpants and a torn shirt. I pushed my bedroom door open to find bright light streaming in through the sky lights. The smell of coffee was thick in the air as I walked down the hallway in the direction of Ethan’s room. Peering through the darkness of his room, I took in his sleeping and peaceful face with a sigh of relief. At least he was getting some sleep. Dealing with a grumpy and exhausted three-year old made life even more difficult.

I found my father sitting in the same place he always sat every single morning at the head of the dining room table. The television was clicked on, but he currently hid behind the local newspaper with a plate of banana peels and half-eaten apple slices in front of him. He lowered the newspaper to look over at me with a wide smile. The front of his shirt was soaked from his morning run around the property.

“Good morning,” he said cheerfully. “How did you sleep last night?”

I grabbed one of the coffee mugs that were set out on the dining room table. “I slept fine. It’s Ethan that I’m worried about.”

“Nightmares?”

“Every single night since we left,” I said. “I need to get some oatmeal started for him. Do you need anything else?”

He picked up the newspaper again. “Not at the moment, sweetheart. Thank you for thinking of me, though.”

I moved about the kitchen with ease and familiarity, despite being crowded with the kitchen staff, along with the security detail who were enjoying a cup of coffee in the breakfast nook. There were only three years of my life that I had lived somewhere else, and coming back to the chaos of my parents’ mansion felt natural. I poured water into a small pot to boil on the large kitchen stove before going back upstairs to get Ethan up for the day.

His eyes, bright blue and innocent, were already open when I opened the door slowly to let a small amount of morning light in. A wide and happy smile spread across his face. Relief went through me at the sight of it. I hated to see his sweet face stretched into a sad frown, or a terrified one.

I couldn’t imagine letting Ethan out of my sight. The thought sent cold chills down my spine. Scott’s threats were echoing in my head again. “You can’t just take my kid. You have no evidence that I’m a bad parent. I don’t care who your father is, or the team of lawyers he’s hired for you. Ethan will be with me.”

“Morning, baby,” I murmured, smoothing his unruly blonde hair locks back. “Sleep good?”

“Yes,” Ethan said. He kicked his blankets back eagerly to reveal his Paw Patrol pajamas. “Is Papa downstairs?”

“Yes. Papa is downstairs eating breakfast.” I pressed a kiss to Ethan’s warm forehead. “Shall we join him?”

Ethan nodded eagerly. I scooped him up into my arms, relishing in that warm and heavy weight of him on my hip. This time, my father set his newspaper down all the way when we entered the kitchen.

“Morning, Papa!” Ethan exclaimed happily.

He squirmed excitedly on my hip as I transferred him over to settle happily down on my father’s lap. I left the two of them to talk as they always did now to finish up the oatmeal in the kitchen to find it already done. One of the maids smiled at me when I picked up the small bowl from the counter in surprise.

“I hope you don’t mind,” she said. “I know Ethan loves oatmeal, and the water was already boiling by the time you went back up to get him.”

“No, it’s fine,” I said, and offered a small smile. “Thank you. It’s going to take some time getting used to having you all back around again.”

“Whatever you need, ma’am. We’re here for you.”

I took the bowl of oatmeal out for Ethan to enjoy. While my father settled him into a chair, I set the bowl down to gaze out at the snowy landscape. Ethan would enjoy sledding down the small hill behind the mansion. I chewed on my lip in contemplation. It would at least give him something to do rather than bounce around the mansion in boredom until my father came home.

“Amber?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you hear a single word that I said?”

“No,” I said, turning to look back at my father with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

“I asked what your plans were this morning,” he repeated with an exasperated sigh. “Other than moping around the mansion with Ethan, getting into trouble.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Nothing. I have no plans today.”

“You need to get out of this house.” He reached across the table to grab a pot of coffee from the middle of the table. “I’m serious, Amber. I’ve talked to your mother on the phone about you moping about here.”

“I’m sure she had plenty to say about it,” I remarked, gladly accepting a cup of coffee. “When is Mom coming back from France?”

“You know how much fashion week means to your mother.” Both of us smiled at that. “In a few weeks from what I understand. She wants to stay until the end of everything.”

“Sounds typical,” I said.

“Which brings me to my next point,” he continued on, wiping Ethan’s mouth clean of oatmeal. “I have to return to DC with the new year around the corner to prepare. I don’t feel very comfortable leaving you behind here in Colorado while you’re moping around, or with Scott all over the tabloids.”

“I’ll be fine, Dad. I just need some time to get through everything.”

“Time is running out, Amber,” he said. “You’ve missed two appointments with the lawyers that I’m paying for to navigate you through this. Your mother and I are worried that you are falling back.”

I took a sip of coffee with a sigh. “I’m not falling back, Dad. I can’t be a person and just grieve the end of my marriage? I’m not a robot here. I do have a heart and a child to worry about.”

“It was abusive. It wasn’t a marriage. You were miserable for the three years you were gone. Those are your words, Amber. Not mine.”

“Don’t go politician on me,” I snapped, lowering my mug to glare at him. “You’re twisting all my words around. That’s what you do best. I said there were some good moments in there, too. You honestly think that I would marry Scott knowing that he had a demon attached to his back?”

“Hell, Amber. I have no idea what was going on in your head.” He smoothed a hand through his silver flecked hair with an aggravated sigh. “I’m just trying to make sure that you and Ethan will be okay. I’m starting to worry about this funk you are in.”

“I’m not in a funk,” I said defensively. “I’m just grieving is all.”

“Right. Any plans today?”

I caught a strange look on my father’s face as he picked up the newspaper again. He was up to something, and it put me on guard instantly.

“None,” I replied slowly. “What about you?”

He flipped the page of the newspaper instead of replying. The ding of the doorbell interrupted the wordless conversation. I half-listened to one of the maids answer the front door while studying the grin on my father’s face.

“Ah, Gage,” he said, rising up from his chair. “It’s good to see you again. Come sit down and have some breakfast with us.”

I twisted around in my chair. Gage Devlin. My heart pounded furiously in my chest as I took in the man I had crushed on since I was fifteen years old. It had been a few years. The last time I had seen Gage was at my high school graduation party, and even then, it had been a quick exchange of congratulations.

He was just as drop dead sexy as the last I remembered him, if not even more. A bit of gray had started to creep through his chocolate brown hair that he kept styled back from a pair of icy blue eyes that could pierce right through me. His chest and shoulders were broad from years of hiking around the rugged country of Montana. He towered over the table easily as he took a seat next to Ethan who immediately slipped out of his chair to my father’s lap.

Sweat pooled in the palms of my hands when Gage looked across the table at me. Gage had no idea, no fucking idea, how many times I had fantasized about having him in my bed. Everything about him screamed pure masculinity, and my stomach fluttered at the smell of his cologne filtering through the haze of breakfast.

I ran a hand self-consciously over my tangled hair that felt greasy. I still had yesterday’s make up on as well. A little warning would’ve been nice, Dad. I swallowed thickly as Gage accepted a cup of coffee with a gracious smile that made my knees wobble. Then again, Dad, you have no idea how much I’ve thought about sleeping with this man.

I slammed those thoughts away. They were taboo and wrong. Gage was my dad’s best friend, and he would never consider that sort of thing. He was still grieving the loss of his wife.

My father patted Ethan on the shoulder soothingly. “It’s all right, Ethan. This is Papa’s good friend. You can trust him.”

“Hi, Ethan,” Gage said, smiling. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Ethan didn’t respond. He buried his head into my father’s shoulder, hiding his face from everyone. My hands were trembling when I picked up my mug of coffee again.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

Gage looked over at me in surprise. “Your father hasn’t said a word to you?”

The deep rumble of Gage’s voice brought out a mixture of emotions in me. I clenched my jaw to keep control of my frayed nerves before looking at Gage.

“No,” I said tightly. “I’m a bit surprised to see you here.”

“Your father asked me to come here,” he said and instantly looked uncomfortable. “I thought he would’ve told you what he and I talked about yesterday at the country club.”

“What are you planning?” I asked, glaring at my father who kept one arm wrapped around Ethan. “What tricks are you up to?”

“They aren’t tricks,” he said, oblivious to the tension. “I’m leaving tomorrow for D.C. to prepare, as I told you. Your mother won’t be back for another month. Neither one of us feel comfortable leaving you alone here with Ethan during that gap of time with the mood you have been in.”

“And?”

“I asked Gage to assume the role of being your caretaker while I’m gone.”

My jaw dropped open in horror. There was no way in hell that my father could be serious about Gage watching out over me. I was twenty-five years old. I had learned to take care of myself years ago without the help of any of the staff in the Roselyn house.

I glanced over at Gage who studied his cup of coffee. His shoulders were visibly tense through the fabric of his dark blue sweater that he wore.

“What are you saying?” I asked, voice wavering with emotion. “I’m twenty-five years old, Dad. I can take care of Ethan and myself just fine without a ‘caretaker’ around me.”

“I’m saying that I asked Gage to take you in for a month while I’m gone. You and Ethan will be staying with him until your mother comes back.”

“What?”

Chapter 5

Gage

 

 

“What?”

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair while Amber’s question echoed loudly in the dining room. It’d been years since I had seen Amber last. Her high school graduation was the last time I had seen her briefly in passing. Back then, she had been a petite thing on the cusp of womanhood. A nerdy teenager still who enjoyed her books more than anything else in the world.

The Amber Roselynn sitting across from me was no longer a teenager. No, she was a woman, and a fucking irresistible one, too. Even dressed in a pair of old sweat pants that hung low on her slender hips and the tattered blue shirt she wore with no bra, judging from her nipples poking through the fabric, she was still a walking wet dream of temptation. Her blonde locks were pushed back from her face in aggravation. Those red lips were stretched into a thin frown that bordered on pure irritation and disbelief.

Maybe it was a bad idea to have Amber come stay with Lily and me for an entire month. Shame flooded through me hotly when I felt my cock partially harden in arousal. This was Beau’s daughter. I’d rip any older man’s dick off if he looked at Lily the way I looked at Amber now, but this wasn’t the shy teenager I was used to, sitting across from me. She was an adult, a young and vibrant woman with a child. Things had changed drastically.

“I’m serious,” Beau said. “I can’t trust you alone here, Amber. I’m worried about where your head is at.”

“My head is just fine,” Amber snapped, glancing over at me. “I don’t need Gage to look after me. I’ve been looking after myself for a while now, in case you forgot.”

“And look where it got you, Amber. I’m not asking him to control what you do. I’m just asking him to keep an eye on you until your mother is back.”

I felt a stab of pity to see that look of humiliation on Amber’s face. I remembered feeling the same way after Marcie’s death. No matter how much I insisted that I was fine, that I just needed the time to grieve, everyone always looked at me like I was incapable of taking care of myself and Lily.

“Maybe I should let you two talk privately,” I said, rising from the chair with my cup of coffee in hand. “I don’t want to intrude—”

“You’re not intruding,” Beau spoke up briskly. “Amber, mind your manners here. This is a long-time friend of ours. You and I both can trust him with anything in the world.”

Color filled Amber’s face at that.

“I wasn’t implying that I didn’t trust him,” she said. “I just don’t need someone babysitting me through this.”

“I have to agree with Amber on that,” I said. “If she isn’t comfortable with this idea, I’m certainly not going to force anything here. She’s an adult.”

Amber offered a strained smile of appreciation in my direction. Holding my coffee cup in hand, I watched as Amber gathered Ethan from her father’s side to encourage him into the living room.

“Go on, sweetheart,” she said, steering him towards the flat screen. “Let’s find something for you to watch while Mommy and Papa talk about a few things.”

The living room doors slid shut with more force than necessary. I looked over at Beau as he folded up his newspaper with an exhausted sigh, and I tried to contain my mixed feelings about the situation. How could I tell him that I felt uncomfortable? This was a man that I trusted my own life and income with. He was a fucking politician, too, of all things. Yet, I sensed nothing besides sincere concern for his daughter’s well-being when he looked up at me.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t think she would react with hostility. It’s a different reaction compared to her sitting around here all day with a blank look on her face.”

“She’s going through a divorce,” I pointed out. “And it was abusive, Beau. Things like that don’t happen to heal overnight. I know you want to do what’s best for Amber and your grandbaby, but you should’ve at least warned her about this.”

“I don’t expect things to be taken care of overnight. I know that this is more tough than love, but think of your daughter coming home with bruises all over her arms.” Anger glittered in Beau’s eyes as he stood up from his own chair to gaze out at the snowy hillside his mansion and ranch was built on. “I have to push her forward. I’ve provided counseling, mentally and legally, but she has to snap out of it for her child’s sake. That’s part of being a parent, putting aside your own shit to get them through life.”

He had me there. Raychelle had been the one to point out that I wasn’t the only one struggling with grief after Marcie’s death. Everyone else was, too, but so was Lily. She needed a strong figure to guide her through everything.

“I can’t force her to stay with me,” I said. “If Amber doesn’t want to go, then we can’t force her to come with me. Just keep that in mind, Beau.”

The doors opened again to reveal Amber. Sliding them shut behind her, Amber crossed her arms over her perky breasts to gaze defiantly at Beau with a frown tugging at her lips. I found my gaze flicking down to where her arms rested on the swell of her breasts. That rush of lust went through me again, and I twisted myself around to look back out the window. What is wrong with me? Has it been that long since I felt pleasure?

Yes. It had been that long. I hadn’t even thought of sex since Marcie. I couldn’t bear the guilt of it, but now all those feelings were coming back with Amber standing there. Unease crept through the back of my head. I was never the type of man to even think of crossing taboo lines. The type of lines that caused scandal and gossip. I prided myself on keeping my dick out of bad waters—even through college when sleeping with women back then had been a natural instinct to follow.

Then, Marcie had come along with her sweet nature that all school teachers seemed to have. It had been love at first sight, too. The type of love that would make any man surrender his grazing rights, and marriage had followed. Nothing had changed over the years, either, even after Lily was born. I never once felt that need to look at another woman with Marcie sleeping next to me at night.

Those unwanted feelings were coming up with Amber, and that made it feel even worse. I couldn’t even bear to look at Beau, who trusted me without a thought with his daughter’s well-being.

“I’m not going,” Amber said firmly. “I’m capable of looking out for myself and Ethan here while you return to D.C. I thought that was the original plan in the first place.”

Beau turned to face Amber, meeting her angry gaze with a calm one. “I know that you can, Amber. You have done a good job at raising Ethan, but you need to get out for a little bit.”

“I don’t need to do anything. I’m perfectly fine.”

“An adventure to Montana would do you some good,” Beau continued. “Some fresh mountain air and peace away from the bustle of the city here might help get your head on straight again.”

“I wasn’t aware that it wasn’t on straight in the first place,” she said.

I had to give it to Amber. A smirk tugged at my lips when I caught the exasperated expression on Beau’s face. She had inherited her father’s rather annoying tendency to argue without any sign of giving up easily. It was never wise to get in a battle of words with Beau, but his one and only daughter wasn’t afraid to back down from a battle, either.

“I’m going to get more coffee,” I said before the argument could escalate more. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”

I found the head of Beau’s security, Joe Fields, sitting in a breakfast nook with a cup of coffee and a newspaper as well. I took a seat wordlessly across from him after pouring myself another generous amount of coffee.

“Are they going at each other?” Joe asked, lowering his paper to look at me with a chuckle. “I can hear the start of the argument from in here. Is Ethan in there with them?”

“Watching television in the living room,” I replied, sitting back against the warm cushions. “Have they been arguing much since Amber has been here?”

“Not like what you would think. Amber didn’t come out of her room for a few weeks after arriving here covered up in bruises. She took her meals up there, and only came down to help Ethan with things throughout the day.” Joe smiled grimly at me from the top of his coffee mug. “I don’t blame the poor girl, though. The media has hounded her over this whole thing. Especially now that Scott went to the media to blame her family for their marriage dissolving. He doesn’t want to be pegged as the villain here.”

My fingers tightened my coffee mug. I had done some private research into Scott’s background, and while his record was squeaky clean, there were occasional reports of disturbances with the women he dated previously. Nothing ever went to court. No charges were filed. The recent charges, divorce proceedings, and child custody with Amber were the only headlines at the moment, while Beau’s PR team came up with a plan to combat the headlines. Beau raised his family with strong religious values that many right-leaning residents looked up to. Something like divorce was considered a scandal.

“There are always two sides to a story,” I remarked darkly. “It’s too bad that the media and others can’t see through that. I don’t blame Amber for wanting to hide out away from it all, either.”

“Me neither. I chase away reporters at the gate. This is really considered scandal?” Joe’s face stretched into a disgusted grimace. “I can’t believe it, to be honest. The media has turned it around on Amber because she had the guts to leave a husband who was abusing her.”

“No shit,” I said. “That’s the general opinion I got from what I read last night.”

“It’s a good thing what you’re doing, though,” Joe said. “Amber needs to get out and away from the city. Get her head cleared out, you know? It’s a lot of pressure to figure your life out when you have the eye of the public peering at you through a camera.”

Beau came through the kitchen doors with his plate of food in hand. He scraped the banana peels in the trash before setting the plate in the sink to be washed.

“Amber is upstairs getting packed,” he said, his face devoid of emotion. “She’ll be ready within the next hour, Gage, to go up to Montana with you.”

“Right,” I said, and my throat clenched. It was too late now to say that I didn’t feel comfortable with this arrangement anymore. Not because of Amber’s past, but because of how I felt. I wanted to help her any way that I could. “Are you sure that this is going to be the right thing, Beau? I don’t want Amber to feel uncomfortable coming with me all the way in Montana.”

“She’ll be fine,” Beau replied as he took a seat next to Joe in the breakfast nook. “She needs to get out of Colorado Springs, with the cameras everywhere. I’m letting my team handle this while I’m gone. They know how to handle troubling headlines.”

“Some fresh air away from public scrutiny will do her some good,” Joe added in agreement. He took a sip of his coffee before looking over at me. “I’ll go down the driveway when the three of you go to chase away reporters. Were they down there when you drove up?”

“In their vans,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “They don’t want to brave the cold unless they have to.”

“What about security at your house?” Joe asked, looking to Beau who seemed unconcerned with that. “I know that you’re a cyber defense specialist, but I can have a few guys out there, protecting your house if you need it.”

I exchanged an amused look with Beau. “You clearly don’t know me, Joe. I have a room filled with my own ammunition and guns.” I winked at the older man roguishly who grinned at that. “It’s Montana. I support my right to carry, and if any reporters go past my gates, they’ll get a bullet in their ass. I know the laws well enough to know where I can shoot.”

“Very well then,” Joe said, downing the rest of his coffee. “I will get bundled up to brave this cold. See you down there.”

I waited for Joe to exit the kitchen before looking back at Beau. “Why didn’t you warn Amber beforehand about any of this?”

“I knew that she’d talk her way around it,” Beau said simply. “In case you haven’t noticed, she does have my ability to spar with words when she wants to. Although it’s nice to see a spark of life in her again.”

“If you’re sure this is the right thing—”

“I think it is,” he said. Just promise me one thing, Gage.”

“What’s that?”

“Promise me that you’ll watch after my baby girl,” he said. “Make sure that she’s okay at the end of all of this.”

Despite my unease about how I felt with Amber coming with me, I put on an assuring front for Beau’s sake. I could see the emotions in Beau’s normally guarded expressions. He was devastated and angry over everything that had happened to Amber. No parent wanted to see their child suffer from emotional and mental heartache.

“I promise,” I said. “I’ll keep an eye on her.”

Chapter 6

Amber

 

 

What hell was my father thinking?

I stood behind the couch where Ethan was stretched out. His eyes were fixated on the large flat screen above the fireplace as his favorite episode of Paw Patrol played on. His hair was still messy from sleep, and he needed to brush his teeth before getting dressed for the day. Yet, those small little tasks seemed to drain the life right out of me these days.

Adjusting my sweatpants, I hurried up the stairs to the guest room suite to shower, first and foremost. The last thing I wanted to do was sit in a car with Gage Devlin with sweaty armpits and bad morning breath. I hadn’t even bothered putting on a bra before coming down for breakfast, but my dad had kept Gage’s arrival a secret for a reason. My father wanted to use the element of surprise and catch me off guard.

Spending time alone with Gage in the wilderness did sound like a breath of fresh air compared to the stifling despair of my divorce, but I still didn’t like the idea of being looked after. It had nothing to do with protection. There was plenty of security around the house to keep Ethan and me safe against any sort of retaliation from Scott.

This was about tough love. My father was famous for his tough love that everyone on the right-leaning side of politics loved.

And I hated it because it was true. I couldn’t sit around any longer in nothing but sweats and a bathrobe, while Ethan ran wild unless the staff kept him in check because I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t afford to be emotionally crippled any longer, but coming into the guest room was a bitter reminder of the worst decisions I had ever made in my life.

Boxes were stacked up against the wall. Most of the boxes were full of clothes and books. All that was left of my previous life was a few boxes full of my personal things and a lifetime worth of regret.

“Shit,” I sighed out, pulling out a suitcase filled with clothes that were neatly folded still. “How the hell did my life turn into this damn soap opera?”

I glanced out the guest room window to see Joe driving down to the gate to shoo off the reporters gathered on the other side. They didn’t want reporters catching drift that I was leaving with Gage Devlin because they would follow us all the way to Montana. This excursion into the wilderness was about having some time alone with my thoughts, to work through the demons, and to move on with my life. That had been the gist of the conversation in the dining room with my dad.

Grabbing a pair of fleece-lined leggings, along with a long-sleeved shirt, I gladly stepped into the bathroom for a hot shower. It was the first time in days I had felt motivated to actually take the time to wash my hair, shave everything that needed to be shaved, and use some nice soap to smell good.

I let the hot spray ease away the tension in my back as I thought about the upcoming month, living under Gage’s roof. He had bought a nice piece of land outside of Bozeman, well away from crowds, and built his dream log home there for his family. Now, it was just him and his daughter Lily under his roof.

Gage’s place would offer complete privacy and isolation away from everyone. Something pulsated deep from within me at the thought. Gage had aged well over the years since I’d last seen him. It was true when people said that men age well because Gage was sexier than I remembered from my graduation party.

He was still in great shape from working around his property. He was a true outdoorsman, too, from what my father told me. He hiked around with his daughter and worked the land, and it showed in those well-defined muscles that wanted to bulge out through his sweater sleeves. My fingers longed to run through the chocolate-colored locks of his hair and to feel that bristle of a beard on his strong jaw. I wanted to know what shade of color those icy blue eyes burned when he was turned on.

I felt that undeniable tightness in between my legs. Blood rushed through my veins warmly, and it felt as though millions of bubbles fizzled beneath my skin from the thought of actually touching Gage. It had been too long since I’d last truly enjoyed the touch of a man. Scott had never cared for foreplay, or my pleasure for that matter. Sex had always been about him. Never about me after we were married.

Gage already did strange things to me without even touching me. It was the look in his eyes, the recognition of me as a young woman, not as Beau’s young daughter, that thrilled me beyond anything else. Years ago, it would’ve been my fondest fantasy to be under the same roof as Gage Devlin for an entire month away from the eye of the press on us. An entire month of finding myself in those strong arms didn’t seem so stellar now, considering my father had asked for Gage to keep an eye on me.

My blood continued to bubble warmly, though. The core of me ached as those wicked fantasies of Gage’s hand between my legs flashed through my mind. Pleasure surged through me when I reached down to feel the slickness and heat there, despite the cooling water. If I had to spend an entire month with Gage in the next room, I had to do something. I had to get rid of this tension now before sitting in the car with him for ten hours.

“Mommy?”

I jumped in surprise, nearly slipping against the slick shower tiles at the sound of Ethan’s voice cutting through the steam in the bathroom. I spotted his tiny body through the cloud of steam as he approached the shower door.

“Ethan, honey. You have to knock before coming in like that.”

“Papa says we’re leaving,” Ethan said. “He says we have to go bye-bye.”

I could hear that tell-tale tremor of tears in his voice. He was on the brink of having an emotional breakdown, so I quickly turned the cold water on to cool my heated body. I wrapped myself up in a fluffy white towel that smelled of laundry soap before gathering Ethan up in my arms. Setting him down on the edge of the bed, I dressed while listening to his quiet sniffs with a sinking heart. Ethan rarely cried out loud. I found myself wanting those type of outbursts, not the quiet ones that tore at my heart strings.

“Okay, mister,” I said and sat down in the center of the bed with Ethan in my lap. “What’s going on? Why are we upset this morning?”

Ethan wiped at his eyes with a low-throated cry. “I don’t want to leave Papa and Grandma’s. Did I do something wrong?”

“Of course not,” I soothed, smoothing back his fair blonde hair. “Why would you think that you’ve done something wrong?”

“Because we left Dad’s when we were both bad.”

I stiffened at that. No matter how much I convinced myself that I had shielded Ethan from the abuse, there were moments like these that I knew he had seen and heard more than he should’ve heard. How did anyone explain to their children that their father wasn’t the best person on the planet? How could I explain to him that we did nothing wrong when he believed his father’s words over my own?”

A headache pounded in my temples again.

“You haven’t done anything wrong. Okay?” I waited for Ethan to nod meekly. “What happened between your daddy and me had nothing to do with you. Papa just thinks that some time away will do us both some good. It won’t be permanent. I promise.”

“We will come back?”

“We’ll come back to see Papa and Grandma when they are back from work,” I said. “If you miss them, we can figure something out. Maybe go fly on a plane to visit Papa where he works?”

“Yeah!” Ethan’s face visibly brightened at the prospect of flying on an airplane. “Let’s do that, Mommy. I want to fly on a plane with Papa.”

“I’ll make sure to mention it to him,” I said, kissing his forehead with a smile. “Go on now. Get one of the maids to help you get dressed while I finish up here.”

Ethan climbed off the bed with surprising grace and speed that I envied him for. He paused for a moment in the doorway to look back at me with a concerned frown.

“Is that man down with Papa a good man?”

“You mean Gage?” He nodded. “Yes, he’s a good man. Papa trusts him.”

I waited to finish getting ready until I heard Ethan’s voice and a maid’s voice in the hallway. After sorting through a few boxes, I settled on a couple of suitcases full of winter clothes, along with my favorite books and computer. I helped Ethan sort through the massive pile of new toys in his room, courtesy of his grandparents, before packing his own bag. There was a flurry of movement and voices in the living room when I came downstairs with a few suitcases. The security team was preparing for us to leave, but there were also members of my dad’s personal counsel and PR team there, too.

Gage stood far from the chaos of people in the living room. His hands were tucked behind his back as he watched me come down the stairs. My heart skipped when our eyes met. I couldn’t read a single emotion in his eyes, which made it intimidating. He came forward to help with the few suitcases I managed to bring down.

“Thank you,” I said. “I can help you put them in the car.”

“I can do it,” he replied, grabbing them from me. “I can’t stand it in here, anyway. Too many people and conversations.”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. “Welcome to my life. That’s a normal day in this household.”

A ghost of a smile tugged at his lips. I gathered the rest of my bags and suitcases from the hallway above the stairs before finding Ethan wrapped up in my father’s arms. He pressed a kiss to Ethan’s cheek with a smile.

“Be a good boy, okay? We will play when I come back. Grandma will be back soon, too.”

I waited for Ethan to finish up his tearful goodbye with my father before taking hold of Ethan’s hand in mine. I met my father’s eyes, and a stab of anger went through me again. Even if this was Gage Devlin, I didn’t appreciate being pawned off like this. I didn’t voice it, but I knew that the PR team was scrambling to defend the Roselynn name against Scott’s lies to the media. It was just easier if we weren’t around to see what sort of tactics they were going to employ.

“Have a safe flight to D.C,” I said coolly. “I guess that I’ll see you later, then.”

“Don’t be so melodramatic, Amber. It doesn’t fit you.”

He pressed a kissed to my cheek, too, but I pulled away to combat the tears in my eyes. I followed the security team out to the SUV where Gage was buckling in a car seat for Ethan. He held out a hand to Ethan when we approached.

“Hi, Ethan,” he said. “I’m Gage. Do you want to stop and get some lunch at your favorite place?”

Ethan’s eyes widened with hope. “McDonalds?”

“Yes, McDonalds,” Gage replied, nodding with a small grin. “Then, we can pick up my daughter. Her name is Lily, and she’s ten years old. I know that she’ll like having someone to play with.”

I smiled gratefully when Gage picked Ethan up to place him in the car seat and buckled him in. He opened the passenger door for me next, and waited wordlessly while I settled in the seat before closing it securely. I pulled the small shade down in the window as Gage hopped up into the driver’s seat.

“I didn’t want this SUV,” he remarked, fiddling with the gear stick. “Your dad’s security insisted on taking it because it’s harder for the media to see through the windows.”

“My dad thinks he knows best,” I said.

Gage looked over at me with an arched eyebrow. “He’s just doing what he thinks will help you and Ethan, is all. Get away from all this chaos and cameras.”

“They’ll find me eventually. It only takes one word to get out there. And they’ll find me.”

That wave of crushing sadness came again. I pulled my sunglasses down over my eyes to hide the tears there while Gage started the SUV. He pulled down the drive way slowly, with a stream of cars around us. I hunkered down in the seat when I caught sight of media vans parked along the road outside the driveway. I watched as the vans scrambled to follow a different car, the ploy car, in the opposite direction before sitting up straight again.

This was the new normal. Hiding out from the media because of my father’s status in a tense political climate. Everything we did was under the watchful gaze of the rest of the United States. That included my divorce. That included Ethan’s custody case with Scott, who recently told reporters that we were making up allegations for custody reasons. I could still picture Scott’s leering face surrounded by a crowd of cameras and microphones as he accused my father of using his wealth to get what he wanted. That sort of thing provoked a sense of scandal these days.

I looked over to Gage as he drove along with his eyes focused on the road in front of us. If the general public thought Scott’s allegations were the true scandals, I didn’t want to imagine what they would think if I acted out on my desires that involved the man currently behind the steering wheel.

Chapter 7

Gage

 

 

“You’re shitting me, right?”

I rolled my eyes when Raychelle pushed aside the living room curtains to peer out at the SUV rental Beau insisted on us driving for protection. She squinted at the passenger window, but was unable to catch sight of Amber sitting in the passenger seat. She let the curtain fall back into place.

“This is insane, Gage,” she said, shaking her head. “He expects you to look after his daughter, even though she’s clearly old enough look after herself? The last time I checked, Amber should be in her mid-twenties by now.”

“Twenty-five to be exact,” I said. “Look, I didn’t want to look after her, either, because Amber is an adult, but she needs some time out here to think, away from all the press.”

“What does the press have to say about her?”

“It’s not necessarily her. It’s the situation. You know that Beau is going back to Congress this week in D.C. A few of the stories circulating around are about Amber’s divorce. Her ex-husband told reporters that her accusations of abuse are false, and that Beau is using his wealth to get his way when it comes to her kid’s custody.”

“Well, is it true, then?”

I frowned at her. “Is what true?”

“Is he using wealth and status to protect his daughter?” Raychelle asked. “He’s a career politician. They truly are the best bull shitters in America.”

“Beau isn’t one of those type of politicians. He has a silver tongue, but uses it for the common good. If he didn’t, I wouldn’t be friends with him.”

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs interrupted the conversation. I turned to smile up at Lily as she bolted down the stairs to wrap her arms around me in a hug. I pressed a kiss to the top of her hair, inhaling her sweet shampoo with a smile.

“I missed you,” I said. “Are you ready to go?”

Lily grabbed her backpack from the couch. “Ready. What’s the surprise that you were talking about on the phone?”

I grabbed Lily’s pink duffle bag from the couch as well.

“We have a family friend staying with us,” I explained. “She has a little boy who is three years old, and I’m sure that he’d like to spend some time playing with you.”

“Really?”

“Really,” I said with a smile. “His name is Ethan. His mom’s name is Amber.”

Lily beamed a smile back. “Cool. I’m excited to have someone to play with instead of just sitting in my room all day alone.”

Those words hit me hard across the chest as Lily embraced Raychelle one last time before darting out to the SUV. I watched as Amber rolled the window down to greet Lily with a friendly smile. There were times that I wished we would’ve tried again for another baby, but my software business had boomed with popularity. I wasn’t the type of father to focus more on his career than family, so we pushed off having another child for a while. The subject never came up again, and it was one of those conversations that still haunted me because it never happened. It was one of those “what if” moments I found myself contemplating all the time after Marcie.

“Just be careful, Gage,” Raychelle said, watching my face intently. “I don’t want to see you get tangled up in something when you’re still going through cycles of grief, too.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said, throwing Lily’s duffle bag over my shoulder. “We have something in common at least. Thank you for watching her, Raychelle. I appreciate it.”

“Anytime. Her homework is done for the evening.”

I walked along the shoveled pathway to the SUV to toss Lily’s duffle bag in the back with all the other bags. The heater was on full blast when I hopped back in the driver’s seat.

“Whose car is this?” Lily asked, buckling herself in. “It’s not yours, is it Dad?”

“It’s a friend’s car,” I replied, and glanced over at Amber who offered a small smile. “Amber and Ethan are going to spend some time with us. What do you think about that?”

“I’m happy to have them here,” Lily said. She grinned at me in the rearview mirror when I glanced there, turning the SUV back around to head in the direction of home. “It won’t be so boring sitting in the house all alone.”

Amber was quiet the rest of the drive outside of Bozeman. She kept her face turned to the window and refused to take her sunglasses off, despite the overcast skies. She answered Ethan’s questions, though, whenever he spoke up, or whenever Lily asked questions.

“How did my dad manage to rope you into this mess?” Amber asked.

I glanced over her at her briefly in surprise. “I didn’t think that he roped me in, but I suppose that’s an accurate description of it. He bought me a very nice breakfast at the country club.”

Amber smiled thinly. “I guess my father got the better end of the deal here. You’re stuck babysitting me.”

“I’m not going to babysit you,” I said, shaking my head. “You’re twenty-five years old. You’re an adult. You know what’s right and wrong. I’m not going to chase you around.”

“That’s comforting, I suppose,” she replied, but she turned to look back at the window with a small sigh.

Sadness radiated off her in waves. I had no experience dealing with a woman coming out of a divorce, let alone an abusive marriage, but it filled me with a painful ache thinking of how Amber felt. She had the entire world peering into her life, too. That was enough to make any sane person feel like they have to shut down in order to protect themselves from further heartache.

I didn’t want to bring up the topic of Scott, either. Beau had encouraged me to make sure that Amber made it to her appointments with their lawyers to go through with the divorce proceedings, but I couldn’t find it in me to say a word to her about it. Reminding her that the past was still there didn’t seem beneficial at the moment.

There were plenty of projects around the house that I could use Amber’s help on. Maybe a stroll through the forest to take in some much-needed silence would help, too. Either way, I was going to help Amber get through this hardship in her life. Even if it meant getting a bit close to her, closer than I felt comfortable with.

The driveway was covered in another blanket of snow that the SUV barely managed to get through. I made sure that the gates closed behind us before pulling up to the detached garage. Cutting the engine off, I turned to look back at Lily as she unbuckled herself.

“Can you help Ethan get inside?” I asked. “You know where the spare key is at. Make sure to give it to Amber.”

“Sure,” Lily said, and she climbed over the seat to get Ethan out of his car seat. “Come on, Ethan. Let’s go look at my room. It has a lot of toys for us to play with that you’ll like.”

Amber helped the both of them down from the SUV. She watched as Lily took hold of Ethan’s hand to help him climb up the porch steps in the direction of where I hid a spare key under an empty pot.

“Your daughter is beautiful,” she said, tucking her hands into the pockets of her coat. “It’s much colder out here. I didn’t realize you lived so far out of the city.”

I soaked in the silence of the forest after spending the past three days in the bustle of Colorado Springs. Ten hours on the road with a squirming Ethan in a car seat, along with a quiet Amber was not ideal, either. I opened the back of the SUV to grab a few bags while Amber grabbed a few as well.

“It’s quiet out here,” I said. “Sometimes, it’s all I need to feel better.”

“I can see that.”

Lily left the kitchen door open to let us carry the bags through. I nearly tripped over Lily’s and Ethan’s boots in the doorstep. Pushing them aside with a sigh, I rolled one of Amber’s suitcases through the kitchen with her right behind me. The chill of winter had settled into the house since we were gone. I kicked the heater up through the thermostat until I could get a fire going in the fireplace.

“This place is big,” Ethan said, dancing happily in the center of the living room. “Almost as big as Papa’s house!”

“Don’t tell your Papa that,” I said, grinning. “He may not like that.”

Ethan giggled in response. Gathering up the bags, I beckoned for them to follow me up the stairs. I pushed one of the bedroom doors open that used to be Lily’s nursey ten years ago. Since Lily was at the delicate age of wanting friends over, I had placed a comfortable twin-sized bed in it for her friends when they stayed the night. I clicked the light on to look back at Ethan, who was clinging to Amber’s leg.

“What do you think?” I asked. “This is going to be where you sleep, Ethan. We can fill it with toys and get some different bed sheets if you want.”

“We have plenty of toys,” Amber said, smoothing a hand along Ethan’s head. “This will be a good place to sleep, right buddy?”

He nodded in response before Lily took Ethan’s hand eagerly. She gently pulled him in the direction of her own room.

“Let’s play, Ethan. Come look at all my toys.”

I set Ethan’s bags in the room before grabbing Amber’s to show her the guest room. We rarely used it. I couldn’t even remember the last time anyone had slept in the bed.

“I’ll need to wash the sheets,” I said, setting the bags down on the small couch that faced an electric fireplace. “You can use the dressers to put your clothes away, so you don’t have to be living out of a suitcase the entire time you’re here.”

Amber set her purse down on the edge of the bed with a smile. She looked around the room before her eyes settled on me. There was still a sad quality to them, but at least there was a smile tugging at her lips now. She had a beautiful smile.

I pushed away that last thought by walking over to the bathroom door. The bathroom was connected to my room as well, so I made a mental note to lock my door to respect Amber’s privacy.

“I’ll make sure to lock my door,” I said, turning to look at Amber. “The bathroom is attached to both our rooms. I’ll use the bathroom down the hallway.”

“It’s your damn house, Gage. You should be able to use your own bathroom.”

The spunky response took me by surprise. It was also a matter of not walking in on Amber in the shower, too. A small part of my mind seemed too tempted for my comfort by the fact that I could easily open up the door and peek inside. I cleared my throat when Amber arched an eyebrow at me.

“It wouldn’t be appropriate,” I said. “I’ll make sure it’s locked so you have privacy here. Make yourself comfortable.”

“Thank you,” Amber said, and she turned to rifle through her purse for her phone. “Maybe I’ll join Lily and Ethan if you don’t mind? I need some quality time with a little girl. I don’t get to play Barbies very often.”

“Right,” I said. “Well, Lily has tons. Help yourself, and cellphones don’t work up here.”

Amber glanced down at her phone before slowly setting it down on the bed. “I guess they don’t. I promised my dad that I would call once we arrived here.”

“There’s a landline in the kitchen,” I said. “I’ll make a run to the grocery store later to get some food for dinner.”

An awkward air filled the guest room. I shifted uneasily on the balls of my feet while Amber looked down at the floor. It was impossible to read her expression, but I distantly wondered if she felt it, too. That irresistible tug of lust in the back of her mind.

I left Amber in her room to head into the privacy of my own. Sucking in a deep breath, I forced my body to calm back down before it could hype itself up. This was Amber Roselynn. Even if she was a beautiful woman with her own life, it didn’t matter. I couldn’t let my thoughts go there. I couldn’t let my body take control, even though it ached for Amber. My hands longed to run along the curves of those slender thighs and to cup those taut ass cheeks through the fabric of her leggings. Ten hours ago, I had seen hardened nipples through the fabric of her shirt, and now, I wondered how it would feel to have one of those nipples between my lips.

Fuck. This is not going to be easy, having Amber here.

“Why?” I growled, pushing a hand through my hair. “Out of all this time, why am I feeling this way now with Amber here in my house?”

Because I never felt attracted to another woman since Marcie’s death. Sex and love had faded away from my mind the day I watched my wife’s casket get lowered into the cold, hard ground. It never crossed my mind since then, but it troubled me to know it was Amber Roselynn provoking this response out of me, without even realizing it.

I pushed away those thoughts when I heard Lily laugh from the down the hallway. I had other things to worry about right now. I couldn’t focus on anything else.

Chapter 8

Amber

 

 

The small church overlooking the rugged plains and wilderness of Montana was packed full of people. It was more crowded than I expected it to be after dropping Ethan off in daycare while Lily attended bible classes. None of the faces were unfriendly, though. No one had a camera pointed in my direction.

It was nice to sit somewhere in peace as I led Gage up a few rows of pews to the front of the church. A few of the older church ladies turned in their seats to give us both welcoming smiles when we took our seats. Morning light leaked in through stained glass windows above the pulpit. It smelled of what I grew up smelling on Sunday mornings, rich perfumes and cologne with everyone dressed in their best attire.

One of the older ladies took notice of Gage sitting next to me. She looked at him in mild surprise.

“Mr. Devlin? Is that you?”

Gage nodded politely to the woman. “Hello, Mrs. Fields. I didn’t know that you were at this church.”

“Every Sunday,” Mrs. Fields said.

She looked over at me curiously, but was swept up into another conversation before she could ask for my name. I felt Gage let out a long and pent up breath. Sweat beaded along his hairline. He looked handsome in the casual pair of loose trousers he wore with a crisp white shirt and black tie. It took all my strength to not reach out and run my fingers along his well-muscled thigh. He shifted in the pew next to me.

“You didn’t have to come,” I said. “I could’ve found the church by myself.”

“I haven’t been to church in years,” Gage replied, his voice tight with tension. “This was Marcie’s thing. She loved going to church every Sunday morning.”

“Why did you come with me, then? You could’ve stayed back at your house to enjoy your Sunday morning.”

Gage glanced over at me. “I promised your father that I would keep an eye on you. So, I’m minding the favor.”

His eyes dipped down to the blouse I wore before looking away quickly. I glanced down to find that two of the buttons had popped loose, exposing a bit of cleavage. My heart skipped as I looked back Gage, but he was busily flipping through one of the spare bibles in the pew in front of him. Was Gage looking down my blouse?

The thought sent a surge of heat through me. There was no doubt in my mind. He had been looking at my breasts, and it only fueled the feelings that have been building up in me for the past week.

I didn’t get a chance to dwell on it. The minister of the church stepped up to the podium to begin service. A sense of peace came over me as I showed Gage which hymnals to flip to. Church seemed like the only place that I felt at peace anymore. No one cared who I was. No one cared about the past decisions I had made. It was just utter calm and assuring to know that there was something out there in control of the universe. Because I had no fucking clue what I was doing.

Tears filled my eyes at that. I wiped them away quickly before anyone could see them as hymnals ended. The minister took the podium again to talk about the one word that instantly made me regret letting Gage tag along for church.

“I want talk about temptations of the flesh,” the minister started, flipping his bible open. “How can we win this war against lust?”

My cheeks burned hotly. I couldn’t bear to look over at Gage who shifted in his seat next to me.

“We live in a sex-saturated culture. It seems impossible at times to keep your faith against sexual immorality, but it can be done, ladies and gentlemen. It can be done. Think of what the Lord would want if you find yourself struggling against lustful and impure thoughts.”

Oh, I had tons of lustful and impure thoughts this past week. Plenty of those thoughts revolved around Gage bending me over the dining room table, or reaching across the couch to kiss me madly. The thought of him fucking me on the washer in the middle of a spin cycle had crossed my mind, too. I lusted after this man more than I’d ever lusted after anyone.

Waiting for marriage had been tough with Scott. He had pushed me at every single turn to go further, but I had resisted until our wedding night. I had expected that night to be romantic, everything that I hoped my first time would be, but it had hurt like a bitch. Then, it was over with Scott breathing heavily against me while I cried into the blankets.

Lust had never crossed my mind throughout my relationship with Scott. I never felt this burning desire to touch him or to press my lips against his for a kiss, with hopes that it would lead to something else.

And yet with Gage, I felt that yearning deep in my soul. Every inch of me ached for his touch. We were sitting so close to each other in the pew, but I couldn’t reach out to touch him. It was though electric sparks were dancing between us when I looked up to find Gage’s eyes focused on the minister intently.

“Matthew 5:28,” the minister said. “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Gage looked right at me, then. My breathing increased to the point I was afraid that everyone in the pew could hear me sucking in gasps of air. I glanced around to find that everyone was looking ahead, unaware of what was going on between the two of us.

Was I imagining this?

He leaned to the side, his arm brushing alongside mine. I swallowed thickly as his musky cologne filled my senses, but I kept my eyes forward for good reason. The temptation to kiss him was strong. Kissing an older man, my father’s best friend of all things, would undoubtedly create a stir in the small tight-knit church.

“What are you thinking about over there?” he whispered hoarsely.

The husky timbre of Gage’s voice caused those butterflies in my stomach to take flight again. The intensity of it was too much as I squirmed in the pew seat with my eyes focused on the minister.

“Nothing,” I whispered back.

“Are you sure about that?”

I looked over at Gage who also had his eyes riveted forward to keep from drawing attention to us. My eyes widened when I caught sight of the perfect, hard erection line in the crotch of Gage’s pants. Holy fuck. My heart slammed into my ribcage. Just like I had always imagined; Gage was obviously well-equipped when it came to that department.

Curling my fingers into fists, I sucked in a deep breath to calm my fraying nerves. This was Gage Devlin. My father’s best friend. A man old enough to be my father. Yet, I wanted this man more than anything. Damn the consequences.

Church concluded after an hour-long service that thankfully strayed to other subjects than lust. I rose from the pew with a relieved breath to put some much-needed distance between Gage and me.

“I’ll go check on the kids,” Gage said. “I’ll meet you outside in a few minutes.”

I managed a weak nod in his direction while I tried to navigate through the crowd. Mrs. Fields, the woman who knew Gage, came up to my side in the church lobby before I could slip outside.

“I’m sorry, dear,” she said, smiling kindly at me. “I didn’t get to catch your name before service started.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I’m Amber.”

The smile on Mrs. Field’s powdered face became expectant. “Amber who, my dear?”

“Roselynn,” I said through a clenched jaw. “I’m Amber Roselynn.”

“Oh, you’re Beau Roselynn’s daughter! Wonderful man, your father. I’d vote for him if he was here in Montana.”

I took a step toward the door. “I’ll make sure to pass the note on to him. You’re too kind.”

“Hold on.” She clasped my forearm with a liver-spotted hand. “I want you to know, my dear, that there are other options than divorce. Counseling through the church can—”

“Mrs. Fields.”

I practically fainted in relief when Gage surfaced from the inside of the church. He placed a protective hand on my shoulder as he looked over at Mrs. Fields with what I recognized as a shit-eating grin.

“They need you in there,” Gage said. “Something about getting the potluck together. There are a few crockpots that aren’t working.”

That instantly diverted the older woman’s attention. She lifted a hand from my forearm with an exasperated sigh.

“What would this church do without me?”

“Thank you,” I whispered, blinking back tears once she was gone. “This is why I rarely go out in public anymore.”

Gage’s fingers tightened against my shoulder. “Don’t let their opinions get to you. They’re old-fashioned. Her opinion really doesn’t count because your father belongs in Colorado.”

“It still hurts though, Gage. I came out here hoping that I would get away from that image a bit.”

“Image?” Gage repeated, frowning. “What sort of image are you trying to get away from?”

“You know,” I mumbled, wiping the few tears that fell from my eyes. “The image my father has crafted with the media. We’re a churchgoing family that has all the right values, old-fashioned ones. The values where staying married was how you worked your problems out.”

“Fuck that,” Gage said. “I don’t care what anyone in this church says. If a man lays a hand on you, then no one has the right to tell you to stay in a marriage where you are getting beaten. No amount of counseling through the church will save you.”

“Not everyone believes that, though.”

Gage’s arm wrapped around my shoulders. He drew me into a half-armed embrace that instantly set my blood on fire. I gladly snuggled up against his side to inhale his cologne, but also that unique masculine scent of his, underneath it all.

“All right,” he said, rubbing my shoulders with a small smile. “Let’s get the kids. Maybe grab some lunch down the road?”

“That sounds good to me.”

I fanned myself with a hand despite the bitter cold. We waited alongside the church for Ethan and Lily to emerge from the church basement. It took all my strength to not reach out and grab hold of Gage again. He felt so warm and strong beneath that heavy jacket of his.

To distract myself from that feeling of heat again, I watched as churchgoers walked by us with curious and lingering looks. I shifted anxiously in my pair of heels while Gage played with a button on his jacket. Unable to stand their looks any longer, I turned away to look over at Gage, who looked up at me with a frown.

“Why is everyone looking at me?” I asked. “Does everyone know who I am? Or is there another reason?”

“Some might know who you are,” Gage said, watching them as well. “I think they are wondering why there is young and beautiful woman standing next to me in the church parking lot.”

He called me beautiful. It seemed so silly to feel excited over such a little thing, but I felt my stomach fluttering all over again. We were skidding on thin and treacherous ice. I imagined that despite the chill of the ice, the water underneath it was hot.

Ethan and Lily emerged from the church basement a few minutes later. I smiled at Ethan as he walked up with Lily’s hand in his. I had insisted on dressing him in a little church outfit of khaki pants and white shirt that now had flecks of blue paint on both articles of clothing.

“Ethan got his shirt dirty,” Lily announced, pointing to the paint. “I told him not to get dirty because Mommy used to tell me the same thing, too.”

Ethan’s bottom lip quivered when he looked up at me with guilty eyes. I gathered him into my arms with a small smile.

“It’s okay, Ethan,” I said. “You aren’t going to get into any trouble. It’s daycare. You’re supposed to get messy.”

“You were eight years old when Mom told you that,” Gage said, pulling on the edge of Lily’s ponytail in warning. “You were old enough to know better, then. Let’s get some food down the road.”

Lily’s eyes brightened in excitement. She grabbed Gage’s hand happily as he pulled her around the SUV. I quietly buckled Ethan in his car seat, half-listening to Lily’s excited chatter in the back seat as Gage drove along the curvy and snow packed road.

The tension between us was thick. I could feel electric sparks in the air between us when I glanced over to find Gage’s eyes flicking away quickly. Of all the things the minister had to talk about it, he had to bring up the one subject that was on both our minds.

Keep it cool, Amber. This is your dad’s best friend. You don’t want to get involved with another man. Not when you aren’t even officially divorced yet.

Even if the temptation was great, I couldn’t go into that one place that I truly wanted to be. I wanted to be in Gage Devlin’s bed. I wanted to be wrapped up around the man in the most delicious ways imaginable because I knew he could show me pleasure like I’d never imagined. Just seeing his hard cock through the fabric of his pants had lighted a fire deep in my belly.

I needed him, and that scared me more than anything in the world.

Chapter 9

Gage

 

 

The restaurant was alive with kids when I managed to find an empty parking space a few feet away from the entrance. I was thankful for Lily’s chatter in the back seat because she was unaware of the tension between Amber and me. The entire sermon had been about the one thing that I was struggling with the most since having Amber in my home, the desire to take her into my bed for a wild and hot fuck that my body craved desperately.

And Amber wanted it, too. I could sense it in the way her body had heated up alongside me in the pew, or the way her eyes had found my arousal through my pants. I didn’t even feel embarrassed about my reaction. It was more arousing to know that Amber was aware of my reaction, but didn’t pull away. She seemed to lean in more.

We walked along the parking lot with Lily and Ethan between us. I caught a young man’s eyes lingering on Amber as she walked by his car, completely oblivious to his interest in her. I didn’t lie when I said that everyone wanted to know who the beautiful and petite blonde woman standing next to me in the church parking lot was. I had hesitated going to church for the first time in years.

Marcie had been the one who was in church every Sunday morning. She respected my desires to stay clear from religion, though. My parents had been strict with religion since the day I was born. I couldn’t remember a day that didn’t go by without God being beaten into my head with a ruler when I didn’t want to follow the rules. Life was exactly like that. Some invisible force got to beat you on the top of your head whenever you did something wrong, and I felt that slap on the back of my head when I felt my eyes going to Amber as she walked alongside Ethan.

The waiting area in the restaurant was crowded, but I prompted Amber to follow me past the hostess stand. She followed me through the crowded dining area, past a large play area for kids, and to a more reserved area of the restaurant. I motioned for Amber to slip her jacket off by helping Lily out of her own jacket.

“Are we going to get kicked out?” Amber asked anxiously. “We blew right by the hostess stand there.”

“My dad owns this place,” Lily informed her, gladly ridding herself of her heavy snow jacket. “Dad, can Ethan and I share a plate of chicken fingers? They are really good.”

“Of course,” I said, and nodded my permission for Lily to leave the table.

She took Ethan’s hand when Amber took his jacket off to tug him in the direction of the play area. Amber watched the both of them go before looking over at me.

“I don’t own this restaurant,” I said. “A part of it, yes. They always have a table for when Lily and I make it down here. No need to wait.”

“That makes sense then, why no one ran after us when we walked by the hostess stand.” She glanced over to where Ethan and Lily entered the play area. “I don’t know if I feel comfortable with them playing over there by themselves.”

“There are employees who sit in there to watch over the kids,” I explained, taking a seat in the booth with a relieved sigh. Sitting in those hardwood pews was hell on my back. “Sit down, Amber. I promise that the kids are fine. There are people watching over them.”

I patted the booth next to me. A ghost of a smile touched Amber’s lips as she slid into the booth alongside me. She tucked the fabric of her skirt underneath the back of her thighs. The tension was radiating off of her in waves as she watched Lily and Ethan play.

Not that I blamed her. I was supposed to be watching over her, taking care of her, and yet I was lusting after her in all the wrong and right ways. I couldn’t even remember the last time I felt this attracted to a woman, other than Marcie. I even felt a stab of pure male pride whenever I caught a few lingering glances at Amber from other tables. It occurred to me then that I missed having a woman in my life, but it didn’t feel right, either.

Marcie wouldn’t want me to be alone for the rest of my life. She had been very adamant about that toward the end of her cancer treatments. It would be okay to move on when I felt good and ready. No one would judge me, as long as she took care of our daughter.

This morning, I had overheard Lily in Amber’s room as they talked about hair products. It was the first time since her mother’s funeral that Lily had squeezed herself into a dress willingly. Her hair was still a tangled mess, though. She refused to let anyone brush it.

“Thank you,” I blurted out, suddenly grateful for Amber’s presence in our house. Even if it were for other reasons, I felt as though Amber was starting to help fill in those cracks in our house.

Amber looked over at me in surprise. Her wide blue eyes had that lost and sad quality to them as usual.

“For what?”

“For helping Lily this morning,” I said. “You know how long it’s been since I’ve seen her dress like a girl?”

Amber’s smile turned sad. “I’m sure it’s been awhile. She mentioned that her mother used to be the one who got her ready for church every morning.”

“That was their routine.” Guilt filled me, then. “I had pushed her away from church, though. I don’t like going.”

“Why is that?” Amber asked.

“I don’t know. I guess it stems from my childhood. I used to get hit a lot when I was in Catholic school.”

“I’m sure it was for good reason,” Amber said, giggling. The sound of it warmed me over. “You didn’t have to go. I would’ve been fine going by myself. Believe it or not, I can handle the snowy roads around here.”

“I promised your dad that I’d keep a close eye on you and Ethan,” I said. “Who was going to save you from Mrs. Fields, the nosy neighbor?”

Her face contorted into a grimace. “Good point, I suppose. It was an interesting church service.”

“Interesting,” I agreed, trying to keep my voice steady. I was walking into dangerous territory here with Amber, but I couldn’t help it. There was something about her that kept drawing me in.

I needed to change the subject before Amber drifted away into her thoughts again. She did that a lot, I noticed. It seemed more intentional at times, as though retreating to her thoughts was the only thing keeping her sane. Then again, she had grown up in the spotlight of the American public as a congressman’s well-behaved daughter. She kept a majority of her feelings to herself because it had a tendency to get dissected.

“The choir was also interesting,” I said. “Don’t you think?”

Amber blinked at the topic change. She tilted her head to look at me with a surprised laugh. “What about it?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I wish some musical stars these days would take a lesson from the choir here. I listened to Lily’s iPod the other day to find that most of those singers are auto-tuned.”

“I tried out for choir one time,” Amber said. She laughed at the look on my face. “I’m serious. I totally did. It was my mother’s idea because she wanted me to be more involved with the church to have friends.”

“Now, I’m curious about what happened,” I said, leaning on an elbow to gaze at her. “I don’t peg you as a singer. Your father never mentioned your singing abilities, either.”

“That’s because I don’t have any singing abilities. The choir teacher told me that God gives everyone special talents, but he wasn’t sure that singing was one of mine. He was actually confident that mine wasn’t singing.”

I laughed as the sad light from Amber’s eyes faded away. She giggled, too, as the waiter appeared at our table with our plates of food.

“We better get the kids,” she said, rising from the table. “I’ll be right back with them. We don’t want any hungry kids at bedtime screaming for a snack as usual.”

“No kidding.”

I found my eyes lingering on the tightness of Amber’s skirt. It clung to her hips perfectly, hugging the curve of her legs and waist. The curve of her ass caught my attention, too. By all definition, I was already committing sexual immorality by wanting Amber for myself. I was looking at her with one thing only on my mind, so I was damned to hell already.

She returned a few moments later with Lily and Ethan in tow. Lily rushed up to the table to take a seat in the booth next to me. She glanced at the dipping sauces for her chicken tenders before looking up at me.

“Dad, why don’t you sit over there with Amber?”

The question startled the both of us. Amber paused in depositing Ethan in the booth across from us. He squirmed anxiously in Amber’s arms, clearly wanting to sit next to Lily as well.

“Why can’t I stay here?” I asked.

“Because the dipping sauces are on this side,” Lily explained impatiently. “It’ll be easier for Ethan and me to share if we are sitting next to each other.”

I looked up at Amber helplessly. It was clear that this was a losing battle, so I slid out of the booth to let Amber set Ethan next to Lily. She tucked in a napkin around his lap to keep his pants as clean as possible.

Amber slid back into the booth across from Ethan. The side of her leg brushed up against my own beneath the table. It sent a fiery sensation up my leg. I waited for Amber to pull away, realizing the mistake, but she didn’t move her leg like I anticipated. I forced myself to enjoy my plate of chicken fried steak instead of the sensation of Amber sitting so close that I could feel her leg up against mine.

It took all my resolve to not reach down, grab hold of that leg, and run an appreciative hand up the muscled thigh.

“Can we play some more?” Lily asked, once the plates were cleared from the table. “A little more before you pay, Dad?”

I glanced over at Amber who shrugged her shoulders. “Only a few more minutes,” I said. “I don’t want to be around here much longer.”

Lily beamed a happy smile at me before sliding out of the booth with Ethan right behind her. The two of them dodged through the dining area, avoiding other people before disappearing into the play area again.

I handed the waitress my credit card in passing when she stopped by with the ticket. I half-expected Amber to pull away, but she remained seated next to me. Her hands were cradling her cup of tea as she gazed out the window, lost in her train of thoughts again.

It was instinct to let my arm slide across the back of the booth. The soft curls of Amber’s hair brushed against the skin of my hand in the process. Her eyes fluttered shut at the gesture. She leaned back against my arm then, taking in a deep breath. I should’ve pulled away. A small voice in the back of my head warned me to pull away, but I was enjoying the feel of Amber in the booth next to me. I enjoyed having a beautiful woman next to me.

I reached for Amber’s hand, resting on the table. Her hand twitched in response when I slid my fingers through hers. I gently tugged her hand down to the seat between us. Her fingers felt delicate, threaded through mine. I was bigger than her in every sense, and a surge of protectiveness went through me. It didn’t matter what happened between Amber and me. At the end of this month, I wanted to help get her back up on her feet.

She couldn’t spend the rest of her life floating away in her thoughts. That’s what had landed her in trouble in the first place. That was what landed me in trouble in the first place, too.

Chapter 10

Amber

 

 

The rest of the week passed by in a snowy blur. It was cold outside, a bitter cold that seeped in through your bones if you were out for too long. Gage kept the house pleasantly warm, despite the below-freezing temperatures. The temperature between Gage and me, though, was more like sweltering heat.

It was the type of heat that burned my skin when I thought about the night before, while lying in bed, listening to the sound of Ethan and Lily chatting away down the hallway. I could smell freshly brewed coffee along with the scent of sizzling bacon in the air. Breakfast smells.

All awkwardness had fallen away after eating at the restaurant. Holding Gage’s hand had felt so natural, so comforting. That was the only type of physical contact we had, though. Afterward, Gage kept his distance while I tried to keep mine. My divorce was a dark cloud looming over my head already. I didn’t want another scandal haunting the Roselynn name by getting involved romantically with a man that my father trusted as a close friend and business partner.

I had volunteered to make dinner the night before, after Gage spent the entire week cooking delicious meals for us. After the kids had eaten, I had made it a point to clean up the kitchen before losing motivation. I had bent over the kitchen counter to wipe away some leftover food when Gage’s body had brushed up against my backside intimately as he reached for something in the cupboard above my head.

His close proximity had nearly undone me right then and there. I had fallen back into Gage’s chest without even thinking about it. It felt natural to rest up against him, and I half expected him to pull away from it. Instead, Gage’s hands had fallen to my shoulders to massage them gently. It had felt so good to be wrapped up in the perfect domestic scene. The dream that I had wanted with Scott three years ago.

That was when a splash of icy water had come crashing over me. I ripped myself away from Gage to hurry into the bathroom. What was wrong with me? The question repeated itself in my head. This was my dad’s best friend. No matter how many times I tried to repeat that to myself, it never seemed to sway the urges I could feel building for Gage. I had gone to put Ethan down for the night despite his protests, before settling down myself for the night to hide away from Gage.

He’s not your husband, Amber. What are you doing playing house?

This wasn’t what I had wanted in the first place. It was my father’s brilliant idea to save him the trouble of the media chasing after me. He had enough headaches to worry about back in D.C. until my mother was back in the states to deal with the mess I called my life. I didn’t even want to imagine what my parents’ reactions would be if they knew how I felt for Gage, and how he felt in return. That simple return of affection solidified it in my head that Gage felt it, too, but he was trying to hold back for his own personal reasons.

I kicked back my sheets and blankets to grab one of my sweaters to tug over my sleeping shirt. I walked along the carpeted hallway to descend the stairs slowly, preparing myself to face Gage after running out on him the night before. I found Ethan perched on a booster seat at the kitchen island with Lily alongside him. Both of their plates had bits of pieces of scrambled eggs and slices of cooked bacon. The smell of it made my stomach growl hungrily in response.

My eyes landed on Gage as I leaned in to kiss Ethan on the top of head. He stood in front of the stove, spatula in hand and dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a sweater as well. He glanced over his shoulder as I greeted Lily with a warm smile.

“Morning, Mama,” Ethan said. He held out a piece of bacon for me to eat. “This is for you.”

“Thank you, baby,” I said, taking it with a smile. “Did you finish your breakfast?”

He held up his plate full of crumbs with a pleased smile. “I like Gage’s breakfast.”

“No more oatmeal,” Lily added, making a face at me. “How do you like that stuff?”

“Lily,” Gage started, in warning. “You used to eat it, too, as a toddler. Don’t even start with that.”

Lily rolled her eyes when Gage turned back around to grab a pot of coffee from the kitchen counter. I bit back a laugh, even though I still felt uneasy with Gage’s presence in the kitchen.

“Can we watch TV now that we are done?” Lily asked, hopping down from her seat. “Come on, Ethan. Let’s go watch TV for a little bit in the living room.”

I helped Ethan from his booster seat before the both of them were already off to turn the TV on. I heard it click on a few seconds later, followed by the sound of their laughter from the living room.

“Thank you for getting Ethan dressed,” I said as Gage turned back around to hold out a cup of coffee to me. “I didn’t even hear him get up this morning. It must’ve been early.”

Gage shrugged his shoulders. “It wasn’t a problem. I was already up for the day anyway, when the two of them decided to get up.”

Our fingers brushed when I reached for the coffee cup. Sparks went up my arm at the simple touch. I nearly dropped it to the kitchen island, but managed to hold onto it by a miracle. Gage was studying me intently as I took a sip with a long sigh.

“Amber,” he started, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I wanted to apologize for last night. It wasn’t appropriate on my part. I shouldn’t have reached for the cupboard with you right there.”

I grimaced when hot coffee scorched the back of my throat. “Don’t worry about it, okay? Let’s just forget it happened.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” I said. “I don’t want to make anything awkward between us while I’m here, you know? The kids are having so much fun together. I’ve never seen Ethan so energetic and happy.”

“Lily is enjoying the company, too,” Gage said. He turned the burner off on the stove, setting the frying pan in the sink. “It makes me wonder if I made the right decision in waiting to expand my family.”

“Things happen for a reason. You can’t linger on the past.”

I caught sight of the snow trickling down outside. There was something beautiful about the winters in the mountains. I couldn’t describe it, no matter how hard I tried to, when Scott asked me what the appeal was. “It’s fucking cold up there, Amber. What’s so special about winters in the mountains?”

Everything. Everything was special about the winters in the mountains. It was peaceful and quiet when your heart was turning from the chaos and stress of life.

I loathed the idea of returning back to Colorado Springs once my mother was back from Fashion Week in France. I didn’t want to face the cameras, or the constant presence of people in the house. I enjoyed the serenity in Gage’s home.

It was a few hours later that Lily noticed that the snow was sticky and heavy enough to build a snow man in the backyard. Side by side, Gage and I bundled the kids up to protect them from the snow before bundling ourselves up. We spent the next hour dodging snowballs and pushing around large balls of snow to create a snowman. I draped my scarf around the neck of the snowman as Lily and Ethan sang Frosty the Snowman.

I couldn’t remember the last time I ever felt so happy. It’d been at least three years. The only light in my life had been Ethan. That was it.

I watched as Gage picked up Ethan to place him on his shoulders as they ran away from Lily. She pelted them with snowballs, laughing happily as she did. The sight of Ethan’s grin warmed me from the inside out. He had followed me to Gage’s house without batting an eyelash, and now seeing him so trusting of Gage brought on a swell of emotions. Tears filled my eyes as I rose from my position on the back porch. Not willing to cry in front of Ethan or Lily, I walked around the house to regain my composure.

Why couldn’t it happen with Gage? He had always been the one thing that I’ve wanted since day one. I deserved it after all the shit that Scott put me through.

Maybe I didn’t, though. I had my choice to marry Scott, even though I knew the truth about him. I had pushed away all those doubts because I blindly believed that Scott would change for love. The cold air stung my cheeks as I walked down to the edge of the driveway to let the sobs pour out. I reached up to touch my cheeks through gasps of air. My tears were frozen to my cheeks. Not surprising with the cold air, but because all I ever did anymore was cry. I was sick of it, too.

I had worked hard for three years to try and create that picture-perfect family for Ethan. That was my punishment, knowing that I failed to give Ethan something that I had grown up with.

Snow trickled down from the thick clouds above. It was only a matter of time before I had to return back to reality. I had appointments to attend with the lawyers that my father hired to negotiate custody and my divorce. The thought of losing Ethan terrified me. The last thing I wanted was for Ethan to grow up believing it was okay to yell and hit others when he didn’t get his way.

I stayed down at the end of the driveway until I was frozen stiff. The tips of my toes were probably blue and purple from the cold by the time I rounded the corner of the house. Boots, covered in snow, were pushed off next to the sliding glass door to prevent a huge mess in the kitchen. I slipped out of my own boots, setting them next to Ethan’s before shaking out my heavy jacket. I draped it across the back of a dining room chair to head in the direction of the living room.

I found Gage sitting in front of the fireplace alone with an iPad in his hand. He looked up from the tablet when I entered. He took one look at the tears frozen on my cheeks and my bright red nose that was snotty from the cold, and tossed the iPad onto the couch.

For a wild moment, I thought he was going to kiss me. A part of me wished that he would, even welcomed it. Instead, Gage pulled me to stand in front of the fire to warm me. He rubbed at my cold hands, and the shock from the heat of his skin caused a groan to leave my lips. He bent down then to look me directly in the eye. I could feel his breath puffing against my lips, and the faint taste of cinnamon washed over me.

“Whatever you’re thinking in that head of yours,” he murmured softly. “Is absolutely wrong. You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You deserve to be happy with whatever you do in life. If anyone says differently to you, they can take it up with me personally.”

Those words caused my skin to goose bump for an entirely different reason. I gazed up at those icy blue eyes that were actually filled with warmth.

“You think I’m beautiful?” I asked.

“Absolutely,” he said. “I’d be an idiot to think otherwise.”

I swallowed thickly as a different type of heat came over me. “And you’re not an idiot. You’re a smart person.”

“And once again saying, you are very beautiful in my eyes.”

Chapter 11

Gage

 

 

I woke to the sound of Lily’s voice down the hallway after a sleepless night filled with painful coughing and a sore throat. Groaning, I wiped at my aching head with an aggravated hand.

“Damn it,” I muttered, pushing the blankets back. “I fucking hate colds. Why now?”

I took a hot shower to ease the tightness in my chest before dressing in a pair of jeans and a sweater. Rubbing at my throat, I walked down the hallway to the stairs to find where Lily was. To my surprise, she was sitting at the dining room table with Ethan going over her homework from the weekend. She appeared to be dressed and ready for school, too.

“Morning, Dad,” Lily said. “Are you feeling better?”

“Not really,” I replied, voice rough. “Are you ready to go here soon? I don’t want to be late. You have a math test this morning.”

“I know that. Amber is taking me to school.”

“What?” I asked.

“Yeah, Amber said she’d take me to school so you could get some sleep.” Lily lifted her math worksheet to show me the various equations there. “She’s been helping me study this morning, too.”

I glanced up at the clock above the doorway leading into the kitchen. It wasn’t even seven-thirty yet, but Amber had managed to get Lily out of her bed, dressed and cleaned up, and studying for her math test. I shook my head in amazement. That never happened on any given day of the week, it seemed like, when I was the one in charge.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Amber said from behind me. She emerged from the kitchen with Ethan on her hip and already bundled up for the trek out into the cold. “Lily mentioned that you weren’t feeling good, so I offered to take her to school this morning. I have errands to run anyway in town.”

“That’s fine,” I said. Inwardly, I let out a sigh of relief. My head and throat hurt horribly from the past two days of coughing. I could barely see straight enough from the pressure in my head, but it didn’t stop me from admiring the dark tight jeans she wore tucked in Ugg boots, along with a chunky gray sweater that was one size too big. She looked beautiful with her blonde hair tucked back underneath a cream-colored winter hat.

She set Ethan down in the chair next to Lily before turning to look at me with a frown. “You really aren’t feeling well, are you?”

“That’s an understatement,” I coughed out. “I don’t know who got me sick, but they should be killed.”

“It wasn’t me!” Lily exclaimed.

“It wasn’t anyone in this house,” Amber replied, and she brushed her cool fingers against my forehead. The touch sent a shockwave through my system. “Take some Tylenol for that fever. Don’t worry about the kids today. I’ve got them taken care of.”

“Thank you.”

I didn’t have the strength in me to argue. I took two Tylenol PM’s before collapsing on the living room couch. Sleep took me fast. I didn’t even hear Amber and the kids leave for the morning. I dreamed of Marcie leaning over me, brushing my hair back in the same gesture Amber had done.

I’m sorry, my love. Those words were on the tip of my tongue, but Marcie’s face drifted away when someone gently nudged me on the shoulder. I lifted my head groggily from the pillow to gaze up at the blurry figure sitting on the couch next to me.

“Marcie?” I called out, blindly reaching for her hand.

A hand clasped mine briefly before setting it back down on the blanket I was wrapped up in.

“It’s Amber. Have you taken anything other than Tylenol, Gage?”

It was a dream. I had dreamed of Marcie in the house. I rubbed at my eyes as a wave of emotions crashed over me. I didn’t want Amber to see the tears lingering in my eyes.

“No,” I said. “I just laid back down.”

“Your skin is scorching hot,” Amber said, concern thick in her voice. “I think your fever is making you a bit delirious. Let me get you something to eat before taking anymore medicine.”

I rolled onto my back when I felt her stand up from the couch. The sunlight streaming in through the living room windows was almost too bright. Chills wracked my body.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“It’s almost one o’clock in the afternoon,” Amber replied, her voice distant in the kitchen. “I just got Ethan down for a nap. I’ll make you some soup to eat with your medicine.”

I drifted back into a feverish haze while listening to Amber move about the kitchen. She returned a few minutes later with a small cup of chicken noodle soup and a few liquid Nyquil tablets.

“Here,” she said, handing the tablets over. “Take these. This should help with the cold. Make sure to eat some soup.”

I sipped at the soup while Amber took a seat on the coffee table across from me. She watched me with a concerned frown until I handed the empty cup back to her.

“Thank you,” I said and resisted the urge to reach out to touch her. My heart swelled with gratitude. “It’s nice having you here. I’d be relying on Aunt Ray in town to take Lily to school. You’re a much better nurse than her.”

The corner of Amber’s lips curved up at that. “I’m glad that I’m the better nurse, but you’ve been an easy patient. Get some sleep. I’ll make sure to get Lily home from school.”

The next few days passed by me in a surreal blur of cold medicine and endless sleep. I woke to bright afternoon light coming in through my bedroom window after what felt like an eternity of feeling like shit. The aches in my body were nearly gone, just a dull throbbing now. I felt lucid, despite not knowing what time it was, or even what day it was now.

I stared up at the ceiling in my room while I tried to gather my wits. The house was quiet. I didn’t pick up any sound of the kids playing down the hallway. The heater kicked on as I pushed back the sheets with a groan. My stomach grumbled hungrily as I padded across my bedroom to the door to the bathroom. Slipping out of my clothes, I stepped into the shower when I realized several things all at once. The shower was already on, steaming hot, and my bare hip bumped into what felt like warm and wet flesh.

I nearly slipped on the slick tiles when I whirled around to find Amber backing up against the tiles. Her eyes were wide with shock while her hands were frantically trying to cover herself up. Not before my eyes betrayed me, though, by taking in those perfect tits, smooth skin, and that delicate curve of her pelvis as it dipped down between her legs.

All the blood drained out of my body. Do it! Just do it! That dark part of me screamed to take advantage of the situation in front of me. But I forced myself out of the shower to grab a towel, slamming the shower door shut behind myself.

“I’m sorry,” I said, massaging my temples in aggravation. Why the fuck didn’t I see that the shower was on? I told her to use this bathroom. “I forget that you were using this bathroom. I’m not fully conscious of anything at the moment.”

“It’s fine,” Amber said, her voice tight with tension. “Do you mind?”

I grabbed the door quickly to leave the steamy bathroom to enter the privacy of my room. For good measure, I locked the bathroom from the inside before shutting the door. To give Amber privacy. To keep me away from the temptation of going straight back in there.

The slickness of her thighs burned the back of my mind. I could just imagine having those wrapped around my hips while backing Amber up into the shower stall to thrust my aching cock into her. I let the towel fall away to cool my heated body. I couldn’t do this, not to Amber. Not after everything she had been through over the past few years. Nothing could happen between us. Beau had entrusted me with Amber’s well-being, but I had waltzed into the bathroom with her naked in the shower.

I shook my head at myself as shame flooded me. My cock was hard when I thought of those taut pink nipples I had caught a brief glimpse of before Amber covered them with an arm. She was perfect. There was no denying that.

It took a long few minutes before I managed to calm my body back down. Amber had since turned the shower off and closed the bathroom door. I could hear her walking about in the guest room before her footsteps retreated down the hallway.

“Cold shower,” I told myself, gathering my clothes to go down to the guest bathroom. “Just take a cold shower, Gage. No heat.”

The cold spray didn’t even ease the tension. Frustrated, I dressed in the bathroom because I wasn’t going to slip there. I refused to pleasure myself to the thought of Amber in the shower. I wouldn’t stoop that low, getting off to the image of my best friend’s daughter. Even if she was an adult capable of making decisions for herself.

I found Amber stirring something in the crockpot when I entered the kitchen. She glanced over her shoulder at me. It was impossible to read the emotions in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I wasn’t thinking about it when I got in. Just a habit, you know?”

Amber placed the lid back down on the crockpot with an embarrassed laugh. “Why don’t we just forget it happened, okay?”

“Okay. I locked the bathroom door so it won’t happen.”

“That’s not necessary, Gage. You’re still getting over being sick. You’ve been in a coma pretty much all week. You didn’t know where your head was at.”

Oh, I knew where my head was at. It was still stuck in the past, stuck in that shower with a naked Amber in there. I couldn’t get rid of the image. It was burning brightly in my memories as I found my gaze floating over her now-clothed body.

“You should get Lily from school,” Amber said. “Ethan laid down for a late nap, and I don’t want to wake him up just yet. If you’re up to the drive—”

“I’m up for the drive,” I interrupted, glad to have some distance. I grabbed my wallet and car keys from the kitchen counter. “I’ll be back in a little bit.”

The windy mountains roads were slushy as I drove down to the city. I picked up Lily from inside the school, stopping to grab her a snack at the store before we went back up to the house. I found myself torn between wanting to go fast, to make sure that Amber hadn’t fled out of fright, and wanting to go slow to give her the chance to leave.

How would I explain it to Beau if she did leave?

I smoothed a hand through my hair at the question. I had no answer to it.

“Dad?”

“What?”

“You’re not listening,” Lily said impatiently. “The teacher gave me all my homework for next week. She said we’re going to get at least two feet of snow.”

“That’s a lot,” I remarked absently. “We’ll make sure to get everything we need for the next week then.”

We spent the next two hours at Wal-Mart, getting supplies and groceries for the week. I welcomed Lily’s company because she could always snap me out of my thoughts and moods. My heart was pounding when I pulled up the driveway to find that the living room lights were still on. Smoke curled from the top of the chimney, and I could see Ethan bouncing around on the couch through the living room windows.

While Lily darted up the porch steps, I gathered the bags that I could carry into the house in one trip. I stopped in surprise when Amber came down, slipping into her snow coat. She smiled at me, despite the trace of unease in her eyes.

“Let me help you,” she said, taking a couple of bags. “I didn’t realize that you were stopping before coming back.”

“A last-minute trip,” I said.

We carried the bags into the house. It wasn’t until a few hours later, after the kids had finally gone to sleep, that I couldn’t stand it any longer. Having the kids bouncing around the house was a distraction from my aching cock, but I couldn’t bear it anymore. Not with Amber smiling over at me from across the dining room table. Not with that image of her naked in the shower still replaying in my mind.

I wished Amber a quick good night before going up the stairs to my room. I’m just a man. What did I expect? I unzipped my pants to stroke myself with a low and muffled groan. I was helpless against what my body needed. I just wanted to bury myself between those toned legs and to feel her wet flesh in the palm of my hands. I could hear her moans in my ears as her hands rested on my hips, guiding my frantic thrusts into her body.

My release came down hard. I sagged over into the bed in relief, sucking in deep breaths to calm my racing heart. That was when shame flooded through the haze of pleasure. I had done it. I had gone to the one place I had vowed not to do, but I couldn’t resist it any longer.

I had no how idea how much longer I could last with Amber in the house.

Chapter 12

Amber

 

 

Gage Devlin had been naked in the shower with me. Even better than that? I had gotten a glimpse of how well-equipped he was in the downstairs department. There was no doubt in my head now that having sex with Gage would be the best I’ve ever known. He’d blow Scott out of the water. He already did in so many ways.

It had been hard, though, to hear him call out for Marcie in the depths of his fever. I had caught sight of those tears in his eyes when he realized it was me, not his late wife. I refused to let it sting too much. Both of us were grieving our relationships in different ways. I had only been with Scott for three years before our marriage came crashing down. Gage had been with Marcie for nearly eleven years, if I counted right. It was natural for the both of us to be carrying this sort of emotional baggage around. Our kids carried it around, too.

My heart clenched, thinking of Lily throughout the week. She had lost interest in girl’s clothes since her mother’s death, but she had made camp in the center of my guest room while looking through my bag of makeup. It instantly reminded me of the times I would watch my mother doll up for the day, and my heart swelled with a new grief, thinking of how Lily no longer had that connection. Until now.

The sound of the sliding glass doors opening drew me out of my thoughts. I twisted around from where I was seated on the couch, wrapped up in a thick blanket with a book in my lap. Gage carried in the fourth box of chopped wood from outside. He set the box down on the bricks around the fireplace with a sigh.

“A foot of snow is being forecasted tonight,” Gage said, slipping his gloves off. The tip of his nose was red from the cold. “If we need any more wood to keep warm, I’ll grab some throughout the night.”

I closed my book to set it on the coffee table. “Do you think we will lose power up here?”

“Yes,” he replied simply. “It happens more than you think.” He caught sight of the panic spreading through me. “Don’t worry. I have a generator to run the house if we really need to. The fireplaces in here tend to keep us pretty cozy. We’ll just have to sleep down here with candle lights.”

“Even the furnace won’t be on?” I asked anxiously. The thought of being snowed in with Gage wasn’t entirely a bad prospect. It was the freezing my ass off in the middle of the night that didn’t sound pleasant. Temperatures in Montana had a tendency to drop into the negative digits, even more than Colorado.

Gage frowned at me. “Most likely, no. I can run the generator enough to keep the furnace going. Will that be better?”

“If it isn’t a problem,” I started, but Gage shook his head at me.

He tossed a large log into the already smoldering fire before heading down in the direction of the basement. I picked at the corner of my book while gazing out the windows. The sky was already covered in thick grey clouds. Upstairs, I could hear Lily and Ethan playing in her room. They were excited for another few days of snow. It meant that Lily didn’t have to go to school if the roads were too treacherous and slick to drive on.

I listened to Ethan’s bubbly voice as he played along with Lily. All traces from the nightmare last night was gone. He had woken up as usual with a bright smile, but I saw it lingering in his eyes the same way my dreams haunted me. His screams had stirred me out of my own nightmare about Scott. It had felt so real. I could smell his breath and the wet spit in my face. I could feel the heat of his hands on my arms, and the pain of his fingers digging into my skin. No matter what I did anymore, or how far I ran, Scott still managed to find a way back into my life to haunt me.

In three weeks, we had a custody hearing in front of a judge. Neither one of us was willing to mediate when it came to Ethan, so we bypassed mediation to go to court in front of a judge. A part of me wondered if Scott had shown up to my parents’ home, searching for me since he knew that they were gone.

Just yesterday, I had turned the TV on to let Ethan see my father on the screen as he left a congressional meeting with his fellow peers. Scott kept track of things like that, but my phone remained silent. No one called to warn me that he was on his way up to Montana.

I rubbed at my aching head. For days, I had popped Vitamin C to keep from getting Gage’s cold. I didn’t want to go delirious with a fever. There was no telling what sort of secrets would come spilling out of my mouth. My fantasy about finishing that shower with Gage in there with me, for example.

I still couldn’t erase those images of his taut and well-muscled ass cheeks when he stepped in the shower, bumping into me with a hip. He was all hard lines and coiled muscles beneath his thick skin from years of being out in the wilderness. Water had trailed down through the patch of chest hair and past a flat and toned stomach, before disappearing into the thick curl of hair between his legs.

My core ached thinking of it. He was just pure masculinity, a real man who could take care of himself without any help from modern day accommodations. If the world ended tomorrow, I knew without a doubt that Ethan and I would be safe under Gage’s watch.

“Here,” he said.

I looked up in surprise to find Gage setting a cup of hot cocoa on the coffee table next to my book.

“For you,” he said. “You look like you need a pick me up.”

The thoughtfulness touched a part of me. I smiled up at him in appreciation as he disappeared once again to get ready for the incoming snowstorm. Picking up the mug, I studied the generous amount of whipped cream on the top with a sprinkle of what seemed to be cinnamon and nutmeg. I took a sip with a sigh of pleasure.

Everything about Gage was drastically different from Scott. There were little things that Gage did throughout the day that spoke of genuine compassion and care. Bringing me a cup of hot cocoa was one of those gestures that brought tears to my eyes because I couldn’t remember the last time anyone ever made me feel cared for like this. Scott had never bothered to keep up his charade of being a chivalrous gentleman after our marriage vows. We were already married. He had me, and he didn’t believe that I would ever leave.

A cold chill went up my spine when I had gone through our house in a hurry to grab only my clothes and Ethan’s things. Those white walls had become my prison. There was no warmth in that house, only dark shadows and cold temperatures because Scott refused to pay for a high furnace bill.

Now, I was seated in front of a blazing fire with Ethan and Lily’s laughter echoing from upstairs. It still felt surreal to be here with Gage, going about our lives like we were meant to be together. The perfect sense of domestic bliss. That was the best way I could describe it.

The shrill sound of the phone ringing from the kitchen cut through the warm and comfortable haze. I got up, knowing that Gage couldn’t hear it from the basement, and picked up the landline.

“Gage Devlin’s house,” I said formally.

“Hi, honey. It’s Mom. Is that how Gage really wants you to answer the phone now?”

I smiled at the warm-hearted jest. “No. I just do it out of courtesy since his work does call the landline if they can’t get through to him on his cell phone.”

“Cell service must be down then. I tried calling your phone.”

“There’s a snowstorm heading in,” I replied, looking out the window. “It’s going to dump a couple feet of snow here. What are you doing?”

“Enjoying breakfast with a few friends here. It’s sunny and warm out right now. I’m enjoying a dress at the moment.”

“Way to rub it in,” I said, sitting back down on the couch. “I’m assuming you are calling here for a reason?”

“I wanted to let you know that I’ll be back in two weeks. I’m going to arrange for security to come get you from Gage’s house. We can have a proper mother-daughter chat then.”

“You mean that you’re going to lecture me, right?”

“I wouldn’t say lecture. I’ll be in touch, dear. I have to go. I love you, sweetheart. I hope that you and Ethan are doing okay there. It’s so kind of Gage to take you and Ethan in for us.”

“Yeah,” I said thickly. “He’s been very good to us by taking us in. Everything’s fine here. Don’t worry about us.”

“I’m your mother. I’m always going to worry about you.”

I hung the phone back up. My stomach twisted into uneasy knots. I doubted that my mom would feel so appreciative of Gage’s help if she knew how much I desired him. Just the suggestion of it would give her a heart attack.

“Mommy,” Ethan called out, running into the kitchen to wrap his arms around my legs. “Can we go outside to watch the snow when it comes down?”

I smoothed back his hair to look up as Lily came into the kitchen, too, with Gage right behind them. He shrugged his shoulders when I looked up at him.

“Sure,” I said. “Only for a little bit, though. I don’t want any of us getting sick when are snowed in.”

The air was heavy with the promise of snow when we stepped outside. I watched as Lily and Ethan scooped up snow, still frozen and cold from the last snowfall, to throw at one another.

“Wait for it,” Gage whispered into my ear, his shoulder brushing against mine as he looked up at the sky. “It’ll start off as a trickle before it really comes down.”

Fat snowflakes fluttered down from the sky slowly. A cold wind ripped through the evergreen pines. I shivered against the onslaught of it as the steady trickle turned into a torrential downpour of wet and heavy snow. Gage called the kids in after a few minutes when he noted that our coats were getting saturated from the snow.

We ate dinner together while watching the snow continue to pile up on the front porch, no matter how many times Gage went out there to shovel it off. He gave up hope when the electricity shut off as expected and pulled out a few candles to burn.

“You’re going to love this, Ethan,” Lily said, taking her sleeping bag from Gage when he returned from the spare room. “It’s like camping in a warm house. We get to sleep on the couches!”

I smiled when Ethan clapped his hands happily. All we had was the light from the fireplace, along with the candle lights, as the night stretched into complete darkness. Not even moonlight could escape through the thick clouds above in the sky. It was well close to ten o’clock when Lily and Ethan finally settled down before drifting off into a peaceful sleep on opposite couches.

I tucked an extra blanket around Ethan to make sure he kept warm while Gage fed the fire with another log. It wasn’t until I turned to look back at him that I realized we were alone in front of a blazing fireplace with candles scattered throughout the house to guide us around the dark.

A shiver went up my spine at the temptation. Something had shifted between us since yesterday. Seeing Gage naked in the shower had done something to me, and I felt powerless against it now.

Gage’s eyes darkened in the shadows of the firelight as he slowly closed the metal doors to keep the fire contained. He picked up a spare blanket from the floor. My heart pounded heavily in my chest when he draped it over my shoulders.

“Let’s go into the kitchen,” Gage whispered softly. “I don’t want to wake the kids now that they are asleep.”

“Right.”

I followed him into the kitchen where a few candles were lit on the kitchen counter. The winter air seemed to seep through the windows and cracks in the door. Thankful for the blanket, I wrapped it around myself as Gage took hold of a candle before turning to look at me again.

Desire. I could see it swimming in the depths of his eyes that were a now a stormy blue. The color reminded me of standing on the beach when a thunderstorm rolled in from over the ocean. The waters had been choppy, and the wind had been strong. Yet, it was peaceful. There was something peaceful about getting lost in a storm that I knew that I couldn’t fight against.

Heat seared through me in reply to the feverish look in Gage’s eyes. This time, however, it wasn’t a delirious fever. It was the look of a man ready to ravage someone after holding back for a long period of time. This was wrong. A part of me cautioned that getting involved like this could spell disaster for everybody involved, but I didn’t care.

I threw caution to the wind for one night. That was all I needed. That was all I wanted. So, I let the blanket drop away from my shoulders. I looked into Gage’s eyes, pouring every inch of desire inside me into that look. He set the candle down before holding out a hand for me to take. This was it. I no longer wanted to spend the rest of my life wondering what it would be like to have Gage for myself, even it was for one night. I just wanted him, and only him.

Chapter 13

Gage

 

 

I watched the emotions in Amber’s eyes shift in the candlelight as she reached for my hand. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her, even if my life depended on it. The candle light accented the softness of her face and her curves perfectly. Those red lips were plump and ready for a kiss. It took all my strength to not lean in there to kiss her madly.

Something had shifted over the past twenty-four hours. I couldn’t place my thumb on it, but I didn’t care to. I could feel the spark of it between the both of us in the dim light of the candle.

Her soft and delicate fingers brushed against my own. Clasping them gently, I pulled Amber a bit closer to me. Her breathing rate increased as she looked up at me.

We were on the cusp of crossing a very thin line into dangerous territory. I could feel it from the way Amber held her breath. Her fingers and palm were damp with nervous sweat. Or was it my own nervous sweat? I could feel a trickle of moisture go down the back of my neck that had nothing to do with the fire in the living room.

Amber glanced back over her shoulder to make sure that the kids were still sound asleep on the couches. Neither one of their tiny bodies moved from the couch.

“We should go upstairs,” Amber whispered, her fingers squeezing mine. “I don’t want the kids to wake up.”

My throat went dry with lust as Amber tugged me in the direction of the stairs. Wake up from what? I wanted to ask that question, but there was no doubt in my head what was about to happen between the two of us. My legs followed behind Amber up the stairs, even though my brain was screaming not to follow her. I was about to immerse myself in something that could not only cost me Amber, but also my friendship with Beau Roselynn. Even future job contracts.

I didn’t want to lose Amber, either. It had been over fifteen years since I’d been in a relationship. Nine of those years were marriage and routine, while the first part had been dating and singlehood. Sex back then had felt natural. Now, I felt like a damn teenager all over again about to lose my virginity for the first time. I wasn’t sure if I would even be able to last long with Amber’s taut and beautiful body squirming beneath my own.

My cock was already hard in anticipation. The upstairs portion of the house was mildly warm thanks to the fireplace downstairs, but I had set the furnace to a mild 70 degrees to ease Amber’s worries about freezing in the middle of the night. I distantly heard the click of the thermostat turn on followed by dull roar of the generator in the basement kicking on as well, to power the furnace.

Amber walked straight past the guest room to my room. She pulled me in before I could say a word, and shut the door behind me. The click of the door lock only added to my arousal.

“Amber,” I started, trying to regain control of my senses. “We need to talk about this before anything happens.”

“Okay,” she said. “What do you want to talk about?’

She appeared in front of me. A ghost of a smile tugged at her lips as she took the candle from my hand.

“For one, I don’t think this is a good idea,” I said while she set the candle on top of my dresser.

“Why is that?”

“There are a lot of reasons. I’m sure you could name a few.”

“I could,” Amber agreed quietly. “I want to hear your reasons, Gage, because mine are weak at the moment.”

I sucked in a deep breath through my clenched teeth. This was the moment I had fantasized about since the day Amber had stepped into my house. We were alone in the privacy of my bedroom. And both of us were free to cave in to one another, but I forced myself to hold back. I had to diffuse the situation before I was too far gone in my own desire to see straight.

“I don’t want to hurt you, for starters.”

“I don’t think that’s possible. I’ve been around for a few weeks now, Gage. I don’t think you’re capable of hurting a person intentionally. Trust me. I know from personal experience.”

“That’s my point. I’m much older than you, and it’s been a very long time since I’ve done anything like this.”

“It’s been a long time for me, too,” Amber confessed softly. “I’m honestly okay with this, Gage. You have no idea.”

“I do have an idea, though,” I said, holding up a hand to stop her. “You don’t understand, Amber. Your father is one of my closest friends. Do you know what this would do to him if he found out that we…”

I couldn’t say the last part because my cock was already rock hard. My skin felt uncomfortably tight and hot. Amber chewed on her bottom lip, which didn’t help the fire raging in me.

“I don’t want to talk about my father,” she said eventually. “I know what you’re saying, but I’m an adult. There is nothing wrong with us giving into what we both want.” She took a daring step forward to minimize the gap between us. “I know that you want me, Gage. I’ve wanted you for such a long time, too.”

I knew right then why Pandora’s box had been opened out of sheer curiosity. Any hot-blooded man would be interested in that.

“How long is a long time?” I groaned out.

Amber laughed softly as she walked around me with slow and calculated steps. I watched as her full hips moved seamlessly with her steady steps. I imagined them grinding up against my own. I felt a drop of pre-come soak into the fabric of my boxers in response.

“Since I was fifteen,” she said, looking up at me through the curve of her eyelashes. The look rendered the rest of my brain useless. All I could do was focus on her standing in front of me now. “My dad had invited you to a barbecue to celebrate the success of your contract with your company. You were playing football before jumping into the swimming pool. I remember thinking how sexy you were, and how if I could have a man in the future, I would want a man exactly like you.”

I didn’t know what to say. My brain refused to compute simple thoughts as my physical senses took over. My hands itched to reach forward to feel those delicious curves beneath my fingers.

Pull back, Gage. Get away before this leads into something you both are going to regret the next day.

I forced myself to take a step back. Amber blinked in confusion when I shook my head at her.

“I can’t do this, Amber,” I whispered, hands trembling from the effort to keep control over myself. “Your father means everything to me as a friend. I don’t want to hurt you, either.”

“You aren’t going to hurt me, Gage.”

“Neither one of us are thinking about this rationally, either,” I continued and reached behind me blindly to unlock the door. “I’m sorry, Amber. I think it’d be a good idea if we sleep in separate rooms tonight.”

I stepped out before Amber could say another word. I didn’t want to look back to see her reaction as I hurried down the hallway, trying desperately to get myself back under control. I entered the kitchen after checking to see if the kids were still asleep.

Wiping away the sweat at the back of my neck, I rummaged through one of the kitchen cupboards for a strong drink to calm my nerves. I found a bottle of whiskey stored in the back of one of the cabinets. It would be a good idea if Amber and Ethan went back to Colorado Springs. I couldn’t deal with it any longer. It was pure torture. I was in physical agony from having a constant erection that only wanted Amber’s touch and body.

“Gage.”

The sound of my name rolling off of Amber’s lips paused my hand as it reached for a glass.

“What?” I asked roughly.

I felt Amber’s hand gently graze my lower back. Gritting my teeth, I clutched at the kitchen cupboard to keep control as her fingers smoothed over my back in a soothing gesture.

“It’s okay,” she whispered into my ear. “I’ve thought about this long and hard over the years.”

“You have no idea what this is doing to me,” I gritted out, closing the kitchen cupboard quietly. “I’m sorry if I lead you on to believe that something could happen between us, but it can’t. It can’t happen. You understand that?”

“It can happen, Gage. I’m not going to tell you no. I want this.”

I turned around to look at her. Snow trickled down steadily from the thick gray clouds above. Warm candle light spilled through the kitchen and dining room. Shadows danced along the walls. The heater kicked on to combat the chill clinging to the air, but not down here. Not with Amber standing in front of me, dressed in a pair of skintight, maroon-colored leggings and a tight, long-sleeved shirt that hugged her breasts perfectly. Her blonde and wavy hair was pulled up in a messy bun on top of her head, and strands of hair framed her pale face.

Candle light flickered in her blue eyes that were shimmering with desire. I swallowed thickly as she took a slow and deliberate step to me. Within a matter of seconds, things would change. I wouldn’t be straddling that line of wanting Amber, my best friend’s adult daughter, in my bed. It wouldn’t be a long-desired fantasy any longer. Everything would change.

I couldn’t think straight, even if I wanted to. My skin tightened around muscles and bone, making it hard to shift without pain. Blood rushed down in a southerly direction. My cock hardened with anticipation when Amber’s full red lips parted to inhale sharply.

“You’re beautiful,” I said, and the roughness in my voice wasn’t surprising. I was trying desperately to hold my breath to keep control over the rage of lust in me. “So beautiful, Amber. You have no fucking idea how beautiful you are.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “Gage, please. Come back upstairs.”

Those two little words nearly unhinged me. The desire in Amber’s eyes was bright and flickering, no longer murky behind other emotions. She took another step to close the gap between us. The first brush of her soft hands against mine sent electric jolts up my arms. She gently coaxed my hands to rest on the fullness of her hips. A shiver went up my spine when her fingers traced the veins up my arms before resting on the curve of my shoulders.

Her body was thrumming with energy. I could feel it radiating off her in waves, and my own body was soaking it up eagerly. It felt right—to fucking right with Amber’s delicate, but strong body pressing up against my own. There was nothing naïve about her touch as her fingers slid down to rest on my upper chest, bunching the fabric of my shirt there.

“Are you sure about this?” I asked quietly.

My own fingers started to trace the curve of her hips through the soft cotton fabric of her leggings. They rolled seamlessly underneath my touch.

Rapid breaths escaped Amber’s lips as her chest heaved. My own heart was pounding furiously against my ribcage. I couldn’t breathe easily, either, against the tension bubbling between us.

“Of course, I am,” she murmured, gripping the fabric of my shirt tightly. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Gage. You have no idea.”

I groaned inwardly at that confession. “How long?”

“Since I was a sophomore in high school.” Her lips curved up into a smile. “Do you remember the summer barbecues my dad used to do?”

Summer barbecues in Colorado Springs at the Roselyn house were one of the few memories I had over the past ten years that were full of life and happiness, outside of my daughter. I nodded affirmatively.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” Amber whispered. “But I just felt things for you then that never went away. You had taken off your shirt to jump into the swimming pool, and I kept thinking how sexy you were. How any woman would be lucky to experience that in their bed every single night.”

My eyes slipped closed when Amber’s hands slid up to trace the muscles in my neck. Her fingers buried into the strands of my hair, massaging my scalp expertly. She was trying to ease the tension out of me, to get me to cave in.

Which was working. I could feel my resolve starting to crumble, fast and hard. It took all my strength to not snag her up into my arms to kiss her senselessly. Ethan was sound asleep on the couch with a blanket tucked around him securely behind Amber, while Lily slept in the adjacent couch with her favorite blanket. I couldn’t risk waking one of the kids up to see us wrapped up in one another. They had been through enough.

“Amber,” I warned.

“Shh.” She placed a finger on my lips. “Come back upstairs, Gage. I’m telling you that I want you, that I have wanted you for a very long time. Don’t question it.”

“I just want to make sure that you know what will happen.” I caught her eyes then. “What it will do if we go through with this.”

A frown tugged at her lips. “You’re implying that what we feel for one another is a bad thing.”

“Because that’s how others will see it. Your dad—”

“Do me a favor, and don’t mention my dad. He doesn’t have control over who I want, or who I want to be with.” A fire filled Amber’s eyes then. “I’m twenty-five years old. I’m an adult who is capable of making decisions when it comes to life and sex. And I want you, Gage. Only you. You’re the only man I have ever wanted.”

She grasped my hand, drawing it away from her hip, and tugged me in the direction of the stairs. My legs followed without hesitation, despite the war raging in my head. My heart and cock were already set on having Amber. There was no denying the stiff erection pressed uncomfortably against the band of my jeans, begging to be released.

This was my best friend’s daughter. I had watched her grow up into a young and beautiful woman over the years. When had things shifted? I couldn’t recall the time when I no longer looked at Amber as the young teenage girl with braces and innocent smile. All I could focus on was the firm curve of Amber’s ass cheeks that were on fully display while I followed her up the stairs.

All sane thoughts and logic were chased away when Amber pushed the door open to my bedroom. She closed it shut behind me, locking it just in case.

I’m not sure who moved first, but the final resolve of my self-control crumpled. My arms were wrapped tightly around Amber’s trim waist while her head tilted back in anticipation of a kiss. The first brush of her lips against mine, feather light and tasting of vanilla, drained the rest of the blood from my head. Heat seared through the center of me. I teetered on the ledge of completely losing control when Amber’s teeth nipped at my lower lip, tugging at it seductively.

I jumped off that fucking ledge.

Chapter 14

Amber

 

 

It was a swift and surprising kick to my stomach that woke me. I gasped in surprise before realizing that it was Ethan’s little foot buried in my stomach as he stretched out in his sleep. Morning light filtered in through the living room windows. A fire still crackled in the fireplace, and the entire house was motionless.

Images from the night before flashed through my mind while my heart raced again. It hadn’t been a pleasant dream after all. I had slept with Gage Devlin after all these years and past few weeks lusting after him. My skin felt hot as I managed to squirm my way from underneath the tangle of Ethan’s arms and legs. I looked over to opposite couch, expecting Gage to be there, but it was just Lily curled up on the couch cushions under a blanket.

A giddy feeling went through me, despite the lingering soreness between my legs, a sure sign of what happened last night. Every single one of my senses felt alive with sated pleasure. Gage’s skills in bed were beyond what I had imagined. His quiet confidence and steady hands. A shiver went up my spine at the memory of it all as I stretched my limbs out.

The kitchen was cold and empty when I stepped inside. A couple feet of snow pushed up against the sliding glass door, undisturbed. The basement door was cracked open, though. I could hear the faint sound of footsteps down in the basement.

I opened the door, feeling a rush of cold air come up the stairs. I took one step down before a wave of nerves crashed over me. Everything had changed last night. There was no doubt about it, but I didn’t know what to expect with this change between us. A relationship wouldn’t be exactly conventional, or accepted very easily if we pursued one. The topic never crossed our minds last night.

Gage appeared at the bottom of the stairs. All those nerves went away the second that our eyes met while he climbed up the stairs with a smile.

“Morning,” he greeted, pressing a warm kiss to my lips. He tasted of fresh winter air. “I thought I heard you get up. I didn’t know if it was one the kids that was up for the day.”

“Just me,” I replied, gladly sinking into the strong circle of his arms. “What were you doing down there?”

The hum of electricity kicked on a second later. Gage closed the basement door to keep the roar of the generator at a muffled level. He grinned down at me as he let go of me.

“I give you electricity,” he announced proudly. “I needed coffee. God only knows how long it will take for the electric company to get the power back up and restored. There was a lot more snow than anyone anticipated with this storm.”

“No kidding,” I said, laughing. “Have you seen the back porch yet?”

He grimaced. “Yes. I think the snow shovel is off my list of tools today. The snow blower might be more appropriate.”

“I’ll make sure to get a nice warm breakfast for you,” I said. “I’m sure the kids are going to love it out there. I don’t even know if Ethan will be able to stand in it without the snow going over his head.”

“I’ll make a spot for them to play at.”

Gage leaned down to kiss me again. I let out a pent-up breath, grasping the sides of his neck to kiss him back deeply. The sound of footsteps tore the two of us apart in time to see Lily coming around the corner, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

“I can hear the generator,” she complained, looking up at Gage with a frown. “Why did you turn it on?”

I took a step back to put more distance between us. The last thing I wanted to do was to confuse Lily about my relationship with her dad. That only added more complications to our situation.

“I’ll get some coffee and breakfast going,” I told her, heading in the direction of the coffee pot. “Maybe we could go outside to enjoy the snow, since we can’t go anywhere today?”

“Better than being stuck inside like we usually are,” Lily replied as she followed behind me eagerly. “Can we have chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast?”

“Have something healthy with that, too,” Gage said.

He passed by me as I leaned across the sink to fill the coffee pot with water. His fingers brushed against my right ass cheek, a teasing touch that lit my body on fire again. I glanced over at him as he bundled up in a heavy jacket and slipped on a pair of heavy boots over his pants. He winked at me slyly when Lily stepped inside the pantry to grab some pancake mix and chocolate chips.

“I’ll be back to enjoy those pancakes,” he said. “I just have to get the snow blower out of the garage and fueled up.”

I listened to Lily and Ethan’s chatter in the living room after turning on the television. I let them select a movie to watch since the cable was still down, and I went to work on getting breakfast ready.

I could get used to this. The thought crossed my mind suddenly. The peace of the mountains and forest surrounding me at all times. The sound of Ethan and Lily talking in the living room as they watched a movie while Gage worked outside to clear the driveway of snow. I could get used to it. Everything about it felt right and perfect.

I dreaded the day that I would return back to Colorado Springs. I had no idea what was going to happen then. I pushed that unpleasant thought away for the meantime to enjoy the day out in the snow with Gage and the kids.

After spending a few hours making a couple of snowmen, we piled the kids back inside for a warm bath before finding another movie for them to watch. I started on dinner while Gage settled down at the kitchen island to keep me company.

“I’m sorry you have to miss church again,” he said.

I glanced over at him in surprise. “It’s fine. I think with the snowstorm, God might just forgive me.”

Maybe not for other things, though. I was still technically married to Scott.

“I still feel bad,” Gage said. “I know how much church means to you.”

“I’ll be fine without it. I don’t need to be preached to again about lust.” I smiled as Gage chuckled at that. “Thank you for coming with me, though. I know you don’t like going because of your childhood. It’s sweet of you to give it another try for me.”

“It’s not that bad when they are talking to you about things that you can relate to.” Gage shrugged his shoulders. “I just tune out what I don’t find interesting.”

The ring of the telephone startled both of us. I glanced at it as Gage picked it up with a frown.

“I guess the phone lines are working,” I remarked, but it was the dark look on Gage’s face that caught my attention. “What is it? Who is it?”

“It’s your father,” he said slowly. “I don’t know why he’s calling. He’s supposed to be in D.C.”

The pit of my stomach clenched in dread. I mentally counted over the days, trying to remember if anyone had seen something between Gage and me. Nothing. There was nothing out there for someone to suggest it to my father. We had been careful, unless someone had seen us at church, or at the restaurant when Gage had threaded his fingers through mine.

“I’ll answer it,” I said, holding a hand out for the phone. “Make sure to brown this chicken fully so we can have chicken alfredo for dinner.”

Gage handed the phone over wordlessly. He assumed his position in front of the kitchen stove as I answered the phone.

“Hi, Dad,” I managed to say in an even voice. “I’m surprised that you were able to call here. The phone and cable have been down all day.”

“Hello, my darling.”

I let out a relieved breath at his cheerful voice. I looked over at Gage to give him a thumbs up. He visibly relaxed as well, before returning his attention to the stove.

“I know the storm has dumped quite a bit of snow all over the Rockies,” my father continued on. “Montana has taken a hit with the storm as well. I am flying to Montana tomorrow morning to meet with the mayor. He has declared a state of emergency with all the snow this storm has produced.”

“You’re flying to Montana tomorrow?” I repeated in disbelief. “How are you going to be able to do that if the airports are closed?”

“The commercial airport is. I’m taking the private plane here. Are you snowed in up there at Gage’s house?”

“No,” I said, tracing an errant pattern on the kitchen island top. “He managed to get the driveway cleared. I can’t tell you about the rest of the roads.”

“Well, good. I’ll have someone come get you if Gage can’t get down the roads. That SUV I loaned him doesn’t have the best snow tires like his truck does.”

“Why are you coming to get me?” I asked. My heart sank at the thought of leaving. I didn’t want to go yet. “I can stay here, Dad. I know that you’ll have to fly back to D.C. after dealing with the mayor here.”

“I’m going to surprise your mother by beating her home.” Voices echoed in the phone as my father replied to whoever was speaking. “I have to go, Amber. Tell Gage to meet me at the log home we rent up there at nine tomorrow morning. He knows which one I’m talking about. I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.”

“Dad—”

He hung up before I could say another word. Tears filled my eyes when I looked up at Gage. He set the spatula down on the stovetop with a small smile.

“I know where the log home is at,” he said. “I’ll have you there without any problems. I don’t trust his security driving around in the snow up here.”

I didn’t bother hiding my disappointment through the rest of the evening. The only person excited to see my father was Ethan. It took forever for me to get him to calm down enough to drift off to sleep. Gage had disappeared into Lily’s room to get her settled for the evening as well, and then passed by my room without a word a little bit later. I waited until the house was motionless before rising out of bed. It didn’t seem fair to give up this bubble with Gage so quickly. It was just my luck that something like this would happen.

I strained my ears to hear if there were any sounds coming from Lily’s room, but it was utterly motionless on the other end of the hallway. My bare toes dug into the carpet as I tiptoed down the hallway to Gage’s bedroom door. I pushed the door open, grateful that it was unlocked, and stepped inside the still room.

Patches of moonlight danced across the foot of Gage’s bed as I walked up to the side, gazing down at him with a small smile. He was spread out on his back and completely relaxed in his dream. It hit me then that I was falling in love with him. Not in a silly school girl crush type of way. It was the type of love where I wanted to bury myself around him and never face reality again.

Gage shifted abruptly, but his eyes remained closed. His hands flexed beneath the blankets.

“Amber,” he moaned out, hips rolling beneath the blankets. “Please, Amber. Just do it.”

A wicked thought crossed my mind. If I had only a few hours left in my bubble with Gage, then I wanted to spend it feeling alive with sensation again. Damn the consequences of tomorrow. I wanted him now.

I pulled the sheets back to find that he was wearing a pair of boxers. His cock strained against the fabric there. I reached forward to stroke him while I used my other hand to tug down my underwear. He slept on, but his body responded instantly to the touch of my hand.

I climbed over him gently as possible to straddle his waist. I sucked in a harsh breath when I lowered myself down over his hard shaft. He stretched me in different ways as I gyrated my hips slowly to adjust to the intrusion. Gage’s hands were on my hips then, and when I glanced up, I found his eyes open and fixated on me.

“What are you doing?” he croaked out.

“You asked me to do it,” I responded slyly. “So, I was just honoring what you asked me to do.”

“Amber—”

I placed a finger on his lips to cut off whatever protests he had. Gathering the hemline of my sleeping shirt, I tugged it off to bare myself to the air and to his eyes only. Gage’s eyes flicked down to my breasts while his fingers twitched against my hips.

“I know that tomorrow will be different,” I whispered, leaning down to press my naked chest against his. “I just want to enjoy this one last time with you before I have to go. That’s not too much to ask for, is it?”

“I’d give you anything you want right now,” Gage said breathily. “Just keep moving. Don’t stop, either.”

I leaned back to sit fully on his hips. A shiver went up my spine when he slipped further into me in this position.

“I won’t,” I whispered. “I won’t stop.”

Chapter 15

Gage

 

 

I had originally thought the feeling of Amber lowering herself over my erection had been a very pleasant wet dream. Her fingers dug slightly into my shoulders as she gyrated at an agonizing pace. I clenched my teeth as she lowered herself up and down at that same wicked pace. The heat. The tightness. I could barely think as I let my body take over to buck up against her desperately.

Her hips immediately stopped. I opened my eyes, fearing that I had hurt her, but found her smile seductive and teasing. She wagged a finger at me in warning.

“No way,” she whispered, trailing that same finger down my chest. “Take it slow. I don’t want you to forget me after tonight.”

Those tight inner muscles squeezed me intimately. My head fell back against the pillow in a thinly veiled effort to honor what she wanted. She wanted this to go slow, but I was already teetering on the edge of desperation because of my earlier dream.

She rolled her hips again to send fire straight through me. I clutched her thighs tightly in response to my rapidly approaching release.

“Does this feel good?” Amber whispered, rocking over me with shaky gasps. “Tell me it feels good.”

“It feels fucking good,” I gritted out, trying in vain to get her hips to move faster. She resisted with a breathless giggle. “I’m about to get blue balls over my entire body if you keep going at this pace.”

“You can enjoy some teasing,” she said. “Maybe enjoy the show?”

“What show?”

That smile turned wicked again as her hand lowered down to where our bodies were joined. All the breath in my lungs was sucked right out of me while I watched Amber’s hand start to rub herself. Her bare breasts were flushed in the moonlight when her head tilted back. A moan escaped Amber’s mouth as she rubbed at her clit feverishly for a release.

Her muscles were pulsating as I tried to thrust upwards, but she pushed me back down. I let out a frustrated growl in response. She wanted explosive. She wanted to tease me in a way that I would never forget. It would be impossible to forget her. I was already dreading her return to Beau tomorrow morning.

I refused to let her have all the control, though. Circling an arm around her back, I slipped out of her sweet heat before twisting the both of us around on the bed. She landed on her back with a surprised gasp. Before she could protest, I grabbed her legs to flip her over onto her stomach. She immediately scrambled up to her knees, but I didn’t hear a word of complaint when I thrusted back into her with a relieved groan.

My fingers dug into the muscles of her ass cheeks. Our pace was rough, fast, and full of desperation. Sweat covered the both of us. I could barely think through the haze of pleasure as I reached around to blindly rub at the bundle of nerves between her legs. Her inner muscles twitched in response as she buried her head into the blankets and mattress to muffle her cries of pleasure. This was what she wanted. I slapped her ass cheek before I felt her release spiral through her body in spasms. I gave in a few seconds later to a body numbing orgasm.

Depleted of energy, I collapsed on the bed next to Amber. She lifted her head to look at me through the dim light of the room.

“I did not plan for things to go like that,” she said, panting. “You don’t like losing control, do you?”

“Not really,” I replied, my heart still racing in my chest. “There’s a time for being a tease. We don’t have time on our side this time.”

Amber curled up next to me and rested her head on my chest, with one leg draped over my thigh. I slipped one arm around her to trace errant patterns across the skin of her back. She nestled against me with a soft sigh.

“I don’t want to go back to my father tomorrow,” she whispered, her hot breath stirring the hair on my chest. “I didn’t know how to tell him that I don’t want to go back to Colorado Springs. I’d rather stay here with you.”

“You have to go,” I said. A chill came over me then. “We can’t draw attention to ourselves right now. Not with your father just resuming his position in Congress. Not to mention all media vultures hovering around you, looking for any excuse to drum up a scandal.”

“I hate being so well-known,” Amber said. “Growing up in the lens of the public eye sucks. I can’t ever do anything without someone giving their opinion, or having the risk of my father’s name being tarnished. And now things are so much worse.”

I pressed a kiss against her temple because I didn’t trust myself to talk any more. I had vowed to never go across that line with Amber, but I had sprinted across it without hesitation. I didn’t want to think of how Beau would react if he knew what I had let happen underneath my house. Turns out, it wasn’t Scott that he should be worried about. It was me.

Sleep took Amber eventually after I scooted the both of us up the bed to lay in the center of it. I dressed quietly after I was confident she had fallen asleep. I didn’t want to risk one of the kids finding the both of us naked in bed.

I stretched out on top of the blankets to gaze out the window of my room. I watched a few evergreen pines sway in the cold night breeze. Snow fell from their branches in a white cloud that was almost crystalline in the moonlight leaking through the clouds. I drifted off to sleep. At one point, I woke to the sound of Amber sliding out of bed with a sad sigh. She didn’t even bother looking back at me as she went into the bathroom, shutting the door softly behind herself.

The shower turned on a few seconds later. I resisted the urge to go in after her. A quick shower would turn into a long one, but I didn’t want to draw out this goodbye, either. Instead, I dressed quickly before heading down the hallway to peek into Lily’s room. She opened her eyes the moment I opened the door to glare at me sleepily.

“We have to get going,” I said. “It’s time to get up.”

Lily groaned in protest as she tugged her blanket up over her head. “Why though? Why are we getting up so early this morning?”

“I have to take Amber and Ethan to the city this morning. Her father is here to help with the snowstorm.”

“You mean, they’re going back?”

My throat clenched in disappointment. “Yes. They have to go back.”

“I don’t want them to go, though,” Lily said and pulled the blanket from her head. She sat up to look at me with a frown. “They can stay longer here with us. I like Amber, Dad. I like having her around to help me with clothes and stuff.”

“I know that, baby,” I said. “I can help you with your clothes.”

Lily pulled a face at me. “Yeah, but you aren’t good at it like Amber or Mommy. Nothing ever matches if I let you do it.”

“I’m trying my hardest,” I replied, chuckling. “Get dressed, Lily. We have to get out of here in the next hour.”

I closed her bedroom door. I felt relieved to know that Lily was starting to regain interest in clothes again. Her tomboy phase was slowly coming to an end since her mother’s funeral. That was progress I gave Amber credit for because I had no idea what the latest fashion trends were.

I glanced in the spare room to find Ethan still curled up in his bed, but I decided to let Amber get him ready. There were still times that I caught Ethan’s eyes watching me warily. He gladly joined in games if Amber gave permission, but he was still timid when it came to being alone with me.

I credited his piece of shit father for that.

Amber came down the stairs with Ethan on her hip and Lily at her side, while they talked about clothes. It took all my strength to not gather Amber into my arms and to hold her close like I wanted to. Disappointment swept over me.

We couldn’t have a proper goodbye with the kids around us, so I helped pack up Amber and Ethan’s bags into the SUV while Amber buckled Ethan into the car seat. The drive back to the city was long and quiet. I poured all my concentration onto the snowy and windy roads. Plow trucks passed by us slowly as we entered the outskirts of Bozeman.

The Roselynn house was on the opposite end of the city, a few miles out of town. The roads were much better as I pulled through the gated driveway, past a security checkpoint when they waved us in, and parked in front of the spacious four-bedroom home. There were several other vehicles parked in front of the log cabin, including my truck that I had left behind in Colorado Springs to avoid media detection. I cut the engine before turning to look over at Amber.

A lone tear clung to the corner of her jaw. Her sunglasses were pulled down low to cover her eyes, but I could sense the sadness radiating off of her.

“Amber,” I said.

She glanced over at me, her face completely devoid of emotion. I swallowed thickly. There was so much that I wanted to say, but I couldn’t. Not with the kids in the car. I didn’t want to risk Ethan mentioning something to Beau.

“I promise that we will make plans for the kids to get together,” I said. “Soon. Okay?”

The door opened on her side of the SUV. She didn’t get the chance to reply as Joe held out a hand to help her hop out onto the icy and snow-packed ground. I hopped out as well to help the security team carry in their bags while Lily climbed up into my truck, slamming the door shut without a goodbye.

“I’m sorry,” I said to Amber as we walked along the shoveled pathway. “She’s upset that you’re leaving. I don’t know what to say to her.”

Amber smiled empathetically as she shifted Ethan on her hip. “There isn’t anything you can say. I told her that I would make it a point to give you pointers on how to shop for her in the future.”

“I need the advice,” I remarked wryly. “Nothing too pink and frilly, right?”

“Right. Cool and hipster now.”

The front door opened to reveal Beau, who opened his arms up with a wide grin. Ethan immediately slid off Amber’s hip to throw himself into Beau’s arm with an excited giggle. I walked alongside Amber, trying desperately to not reach for her hand, and waited for Beau to finish giving them both a long hug.

“Thank you,” Beau said, clasping me on the shoulder. “I appreciate you looking out for them. They look wonderful.”

I nodded at him. “It was my pleasure. They’re welcome anytime. I’ll let you all settle in.” I caught Amber’s eyes briefly before I took a step back. “I’ll see you all soon, hopefully. Get the kids together again. They seemed to enjoy spending time together.”

“Sounds wonderful,” Beau replied, hugging Ethan close to him. “I’ll call you. We have press all week to get to.”

“I understand. See you all later.”

I walked down along the pathway to the truck when the front door closed shut. I kept my face emotionless as I passed by various members of Beau’s team that followed him everywhere. Lily didn’t say a word for the entire drive to Raychelle’s house. I was glad of that, since I was wrapped up in my own conflicting thoughts.

We arrived at Raychelle’s house, and Lily gave her aunt a long hug before heading upstairs to play.

“What’s going on with her?” Raychelle asked, frowning. “She seems upset, Gage. What is going on?”

“It’s a long story,” I said, sighing. “And complicated. I don’t want to go into it.”

Raychelle pulled me in the direction of the small kitchen. Chicken noodle soup simmered in a pot on the stove. The smell of baking biscuits filled my lungs as I took a seat at the small round table in the kitchen nook. She stirred the soup with a large spoon before pouring us both hefty cups of coffee.

“I’m all ears,” she said. “I can see that something is different about you, too. What is it?”

“Nothing. It’s noth—”

“It’s something,” Raychelle said impatiently. “I’m not blind, Gage. I can see that you’re struggling with something inside of your head there.” She paused for a moment to look at me closely. “Is it a woman? Are you seeing someone new?”

I took a long sip of coffee in response. I wasn’t going to deny that part of it, even if I had no idea what was going to happen between Amber and me.

A smile spread across Raychelle’s face. “So, you are. You are seeing a new woman. That’s great, Gage!”

“You think so?” I asked, surprised. “I figured you would be lecturing me about it.”

“I’m not going to lecture you. My sister would’ve wanted you to move on with your life. You have to move on with your life. It’s natural to feel guilty, but this isn’t a bad thing. God knows that child upstairs needs a mother.”

I ran a hand along my aching head because guilt didn’t even cover how I felt. I had fucked my best friend’s adult daughter, but I also had feelings for her at the same time. It was one fucked up situation that I had no idea how I was going to get out of, let alone navigate through. There was already enough scandal in the headlines surrounding Amber and her father. I didn’t even want to imagine how the press and general public opinion would handle a relationship between the two of us.

“It’s complicated,” I said.

“Of course, it is,” Raychelle replied, frowning. “You lost your wife to cancer. I know how much you loved, Marcie, but there is nothing holding you back from falling in love again. It’s okay to want someone. It’s okay to pursue something that gives you a bit of happiness.”

The timer on the stove went off. Raychelle rose from her chair across from mine to pull out the baking sheet from the oven. I pulled out my phone to pull up Amber’s personal cell number. Maybe Raychelle was right. It was okay to pursue something that brought happiness to my life. Even if it was complicated.

I texted Amber quickly. I hope you and Ethan are okay. I miss you both.

It was a few seconds later that my phone buzzed with Amber’s reply. I miss you more already, xoxo.

A small spark of hope filled me. Maybe it wouldn’t be so complicated. It was only a matter of figuring out when and how I would be able to have Amber alone with me again.

Chapter 16

Amber

 

 

The rest of the week passed by with agonizing slowness. The snowstorm had been devastating for several states. My father, being the kind-hearted politician he was, had offered to stay for the entire week to help his fellow congressman from Montana, while commuting to Colorado Springs every other day. Ethan enjoyed having his Papa back to take him on plenty of car rides, but I was going stir crazy with anticipation of seeing Gage again.

Our month alone had been cut short before anything else could begin. It was a kick to the gut. It was hard enough having to deal with the torrent of feelings I had for Gage, but adding a layer of earth-shattering sex complicated it even more.

A shiver went up my spine as I paced anxiously in the living room where Ethan was currently playing with his toy cars. I missed the feeling of Gage’s hands sliding along my legs, or the feeling of his taut body pushing up against my own. It wasn’t just the physical part, either, that I missed. It was his warmth and kindness, too. He was the embodiment of a rough and tumble man, but he had a heart of gold beneath that tough exterior of his.

The silence between us was deafening. I couldn’t pick up the phone to call Gage’s house without drawing attention from the staff or my father. Cell phones were still down up there. The only hope that I could cling to was that text message after he had dropped Ethan and me off into the chaos of my father’s camp. Stay safe. I’ll miss you.

I had practically leapt in excitement when my father informed me that Gage and Lily were coming down from the mountain for a visit. I spent the past hour taking the time to actually shave all the right parts and to doll myself back up again. Ethan and I rarely left the house with my father and his security detail. The roads were still treacherous, but it was a media frenzy all over again because of Scott.

I came to stop when one of the news headlines on the flat screen caught my attention. There he was. Standing in a circle of reporters, dressed in a sharp suit with his ice blonde hair slicked back from his angry face. He looked directly into the camera. His lips curled in contempt as he spoke.

“Mark my words,” he said sharply. “The rest of the United States will soon see how corrupt the Roselynns are. They don’t deserve so much public trust. Their good religious family is just a false persona. In reality, Beau Roselynn uses his power and wealth to get what he wants. My son, Ethan, is stuck in the middle of this.”

I turned away from the television to hide my own contempt when Ethan looked up at the sound of his father’s voice. Bastard. That was all I could think while I curled my fingers into angry fists. He couldn’t let go of anything. Our divorce was a slap to his ego. Taking Ethan away didn’t even matter to him. That much was clear when his lawyers agreed to giving me full custody of Ethan. It was all about the cameras in his face.

“He just won’t give up, will he?” My father came from the privacy of his office. He looked up at the television screen with a frown. “He gave up custody of Ethan in court. He didn’t fight for custody at all.”

I glanced over at Ethan who had resumed playing with his cars, completely oblivious to it. I didn’t know if it was a self-imposed oblivion, but I was thankful for it.

“It’s not about that,” I said in a low voice. “It’s about me actually having the strength to leave him, and then challenge him in front of cameras. He cares about what people think of him.”

“He’s a fellow politician’s son. He inherited that from his father. Their camp is naturally on the defense these days.” My father smiled at me then as he rested his hands on my shoulders. “I know that I haven’t said this lately, but I’m proud of you.”

“For what?” I asked, smiling up at him. “I haven’t done anything spectacular recently. Your lawyers are the ones to thank for this win.”

“You could’ve told them to back off. No one was forcing you to go through a custody battle, or your divorce.”

“I had to do it,” I said with a shrug. “If I didn’t, it was only going to get worse. I knew that it would be harder to get away the more time passed. And I couldn’t let Ethan grow up in a toxic household like that.”

My father studied my face for a long time. “I can see that your stay with Gage did you more good than I expected.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, heart pounding. “I’m still the same me. Nothing has changed.”

“I’m not sure what it is,” he said. “I’m not going to complain, though. It’s just nice to see you smiling again.”

The phone rang from inside his office. He smiled apologetically at me before stepping back inside, closing the door quietly. I walked to the large living room windows that overlooked the snowy landscape of Montana. The trees were covered in a thick blanket of snow. Several plows were at work on the roads, and the snow drifts were mini mountains alongside the road. It was a cold and slow start to the weekend.

I caught sight of Gage’s truck at the bottom of the driveway where he was stopped at a security checkpoint. The breath in my lungs hitched with excitement. I pressed up against the glass while I watched the security guards glance through his truck. One of the guards spoke into his walkie-talkie to run Gage’s credentials before waving Gage through. The gate swung open a second later.

“Gage and Lily are here,” I told Ethan, grinning. “Are you excited to see them?”

Ethan looked up from his cars with a strange look. “Sure, Mommy. Do you miss them?”

“Of course, I do, silly.”

My hopes of catching Gage alone before he stepped into the house were dashed when Joe, my father’s head of security, opened the front door first. I clenched my teeth to contain my disappointment, but also to resist the urge to run into Gage’s arms. My heart thumped wildly as Gage entered with his arm around Lily’s shoulders. Both of them were bundled up in heavy coats, but Gage looked sexy as usual with his chocolate locks pushed back to reveal the pepper of gray at his temples. His icy blue eyes warmed at the sight of me.

“I’m glad you all made it safe,” I said breathlessly as Joe closed the door behind them. “Were the roads bad?”

“Not too bad,” Gage said smoothly. His eyes were fixated on me, though, and only me. A small fire danced there, but it was enough to fuel the fire inside of me. “The plow trucks have the main streets in the city taken care of. It’s the mountain passes you have to be careful on.”

I could feel Joe’s eyes on the both of us, studying our exchange with a frown. I forced my eyes to where Lily stood at her father’s side as she looked around with wide eyes. She clutched her father’s hand tightly.

“Your house is big,” she said. “I think it’s bigger than your house, Dad.”

That drew a chuckle out of Gage as he reached up to undo the buttons of his coat. “He has more money than me, Lily. He needs a big house to keep everyone in his camp sheltered, too. They don’t know how to deal with Montana’s weather.”

“I grew up in Alaska,” Joe said, mildly affronted. “I know how to drive in the snow. It’s the other people on my team that don’t know how to do it.”

The doors to my dad’s office opened at the sound of our voices. He poked his head out to look at Gage with a wide grin.

“Just the man I was looking for,” he said. “Come in, Gage. I have to talk to you about a few things.”

I caught Gage’s eyes as he ushered Lily to join Ethan on the floor to play cars. I shrugged my shoulders, even though my insides were twisting with nerves and various emotions. I took a seat on the couch while Gage slipped into my father’s office.

“How are you, Lily?” I asked kindly. “I see that your dad bought you some cute leggings.”

Lily glanced down at her patterned leggings with an approving smile. “Yes, he did. He took me shopping after school to pick clothes that I wanted.”

“That’s great. I’m glad that he listened to my advice.”

“He misses you I think,” Lily commented, looking up at me as Ethan scooted along the floor with a car. “He’s been really quiet since you’ve left. I asked if we could come here this weekend, but he wasn’t sure if you were going to be here still.”

The little admission made my heart melt. He had missed me for the entire week since we couldn’t communicate properly. Not without drawing attention.

“I missed the both of you,” I said. “I’m not sure how much longer we will be here, but I’ll make it a point to stick around as long as I can.”

Lily nodded at that. “Good, because it’s boring when it’s just my dad and I up there by ourselves.”

I half-listened to Lily’s chatter about school when the door to my father’s office finally opened. I turned to find my father’s arm wrapped around Gage’s shoulders.

“You think about what I’m offering,” he said. “There’s no rush on getting back to me. I have other things to keep me occupied in the meantime.”

“What’s going on?” I asked, rising from the couch. “What are you two up to now?”

My father waved an airy hand. “Just business things. Take the SUV, Gage. Avoid the media if you can.” He smiled at me then. “Enjoy your afternoon, sweetheart. At least one of us is getting out of the house today.”

I blinked in confusion, but the phone rang again in his office before I could say a word. I looked over at Gage, who shrugged his shoulders innocently. The living room went quiet, aside from the sound of Lily and Ethan playing on the floor. My father’s team, including Joe, had gone into his office for another meeting. I was finally alone with Gage.

Gage’s eyes were dark with that look of desire flickering to life. My body hummed in anticipation, just seeing him in the flesh, instead of in my memories. I grasped his strong hand and pulled him down the hallway in the direction of the laundry room. I pushed the door open, glancing in quickly to make sure it was empty, before pulling Gage in. He didn’t protest as I locked the door shut behind us.

In the next instant, Gage’s arms were around my waist. His lips were hot and needy against my own while we kissed passionately. I groaned in relief to feel his feel body pressed up against mine again. He pulled back before our senses could get away from the both of us.

“There’s a museum hosting a free event for kids,” Gage said, his fingers running up my back. “Do you want to come with me? It’d just be us and the kids.”

I looked up at him in confusion, but I could see his eyes sparkling. He had a plan. This was all a ruse of some sort for us to get away. My body vibrated with excitement as I nodded in agreement.

“Yes, let’s take the kids,” I said. “Ethan will love it.”

We bid our goodbyes to my father before climbing into the warm SUV. I kept my hands tucked between my legs to keep myself from reaching out to touch Gage. I didn’t want Ethan or Lily to see the both of us all over one another, but a part of me dimly wondered what the hell Gage had planned. I just wanted to be alone with him long enough to have a proper kiss.

The museum was chaotic when Gage led us inside to check in Lily and Ethan for an afternoon of arts and crafts. I kissed Ethan goodbye on the cheek when their teacher came by to gather them up for the class.

“They’ll be about an hour,” she told Gage, holding onto Ethan’s hand with a kind smile. “You can pick them up then. We are going to do some fun arts and crafts.”

“Go on,” I encouraged Ethan when he looked up at me. “You have fun with, Lily. I’ll be back soon.”

Lily took Ethan’s other hand. They both waved goodbye to us before following the teacher into a classroom. I turned to look at Gage with a smile.

“How did you know about this?” I asked.

“The museum offers art classes for the kids when the snow is too much,” he explained, glancing around at the various paintings. “I take Lily here all the time. The teachers will keep an eye on them.”

“Great. So, are we going this direction to look at paintings or—”

Gage caught my wrist in his hand before I could walk over to look at the painting there. My heart thrummed wildly in my chest all over again when he looked down at me with fiery eyes.

“I have a hotel room down the road,” he whispered. “It’ll take us at least fifteen minutes to get there. That’s plenty of time.”

All of my uncertainty, wondering what Gage had been thinking all week, gave away as I followed him out of the museum. His hand remained locked in mine during the drive to the small hotel fifteen minutes away. It was low-key, nothing fancy, but clean and quiet. No media would be around a place like this as Gage led me down a dim hallway to our room.

About to burst from lust, I didn’t even bother waiting until the door fell shut behind Gage. I jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist, and kissed him passionately.

Chapter 17

Gage

 

 

Amber’s legs wrapped around my waist tightly. Our lips met in a heated kiss. I stumbled toward the bed in a futile attempt to concentrate on my legs and the direction we were going. Yes! A small part of me roared in triumph at how well this plan had worked out. I hadn’t been sure if Beau was going to buy the excuse of wanting to get the kids together at the museum when I called him yesterday afternoon. Not with all this media attention on him.

My blood surged through my veins as the edge of the bed bumped into my shins. We tumbled back onto the center of the mattress in a tangle of limbs. I smoothed a hand through Amber’s curly blonde hair to kiss her harder, deeper. The need for this woman squirming beneath me in pleasure was so great that I couldn’t see straight.

Her hands were running up my back, grasping my shoulders to grind her hips up against mine. I hissed in response to the heat of her rubbing up against my already hard dick. One whole fucking week without Amber around had nearly driven me over the edge into insanity. I wanted this woman now. I wanted to plunge into her without a care in the world.

“Gage,” she breathed out, lips swollen and bruised already from our heated kisses. “Please. Don’t take forever.”

I trailed kisses down the column of her neck. She tasted sweet, like vanilla and cinnamon. I could feel her heart already pounding against my chest as I reached for the hemline of her shirt. I bunched the fabric in my fingers to tug it up over her head.

“Finally,” I growled, and sat back on my knees to take in the sight of perfectly shaped breasts that wanted to tumble out of her simple white bra. Her chest heaved with each breath she took. Her skin was already a lovely shade of pink from the desire spiraling through her own body.

Amber reached up to hook a finger in my belt. While her fingers went to work on getting my belt free, I undid the clasp of her bra with ease. I felt my jeans loosen, followed by the brush of her fingers against the tip of my erection. Pleasure jolted through me as she reached in to stroke me with confidence, but I refused to be spent so quickly. At least, not outside of Amber or before her own pleasure.

I pushed her hand away to lean down and suck in a taut pink nipple. Amber cried out in pleasure beneath me. Her hand reached up to tangle in my hair, tugging there insistently as she arched up against my mouth. I focused on the curves of her breasts before moving down her stomach to the elastic band of her black leggings. I ran my tongue teasingly along her lower stomach. Goosebumps appeared instantly as I sat up to work on the buttons of my shirt.

Amber sat up to help me. She pushed the fabric from my shoulders before trailing hot kisses of her own down my collarbone. Her teeth nipped at my chest in teasing bites as her fingers left hot trails down my back. I gently pulled her head up before that sinful mouth could go to the one place of my body that longed for her touch.

“Not going to happen,” I murmured against her lips. “Both of us are going to get pleasure by the end of this.”

“No doubt about that.” Amber glanced at the alarm clock on the bed stand. “Do you think we could skip foreplay? I’ve been fantasizing about you all week now. That’s enough for me.”

I hated that she was right, but we couldn’t afford much foreplay. Not with the kids at the museum for the next twenty minutes while they did their art class before we had to join them again. I had to make quick work of Amber’s pleasure before giving in to my own.

“Lay back,” I instructed, pushing her legs apart. She gave me an uncertain look as she did what I told her. “Don’t worry. I know how to get a woman off quickly.”

Amber’s eyebrow arched upward at that. “Do you, now?”

I slid my hands beneath her firm bottom to pull her to the edge of the bed. I pressed a kiss against the inside of her thigh. She was already dripping wet with arousal. I inhaled the scent of it greedily. Smugness went through me, knowing that this was the reaction I got from her.

“Yes,” I breathed. “Relax, baby. It’ll happen quickly if you relax.”

I didn’t give her a chance to reply. Taking that bundle of nerves into my lips, I let my tongue and mouth bring her to a high peak. Her thighs quivered against the side of my neck while her feet pushed down on the tops of my shoulders. I found my fingers drifting down to my throbbing erection to stroke myself to ease a bit of tension in time with her pending release. Amber’s back arched off the bed as she cried out in pleasure. Her hips rolled against me as she climbed higher and higher to that pinnacle.

Unable to stand it any longer, I stood up before either one of us could go over the edge into that sweet oblivion. Amber looked up at me in sheer frustration, her face the color of a ripe cherry about to burst with juices. I pushed her back down on the mattress when she sat up, and settled myself against the heat between her legs. I thrusted deep into her hot and pulsating flesh with a groan of my own.

I couldn’t think of anything else after that besides for the hot pressure building up in me. I set a hard pace, harder than I’d gone before, and a part of me dimly worried about the intensity of it all. That was until Amber wrapped her legs tightly around my waist, pulling me in even deeper. She whispered broken encouragements in my ear until I couldn’t hear anything over the roar of blood in my veins and my heart pounding.

I teetered on the edge until Amber’s scream tore through her lips. Her body bucked beneath mine, inner muscles squeezing so tightly that it nearly paralyzed me from the pleasure. My release came barreling down as well, while I emptied myself into her before collapsing on the mattress alongside her.

“Holy shit,” Amber panted, reaching for my hand. “I think my heart is about to explode.”

I sucked in a deep breath to try and calm my own racing heart. “Speak for yourself. I’m older than you.” I clutched at my chest to feel the furious pounding there. “You might have to take me to the hospital for a heart attack.”

Amber giggled breathlessly as she turned to lay on her side. “I thought sex was supposed to be the best exercise for a man your age.”

“It is,” I said, eyes sweeping along her perfect breasts out of habit. “At least, I’m not at the point of having to take pills.”

“That’s true. I don’t think you have to worry about that at all.”

A blonde curl fell against her cheek. I reached out to tuck it back behind her ear with a smile. She nuzzled her face into my palm with a small smile.

“I’ve missed you,” she said softly. “I wish there was a way we could see each other more.”

“I know,” I replied, looking back up at the ceiling of the hotel room. “I wish we could figure it out, too. I don’t want to bring any attention to us both until we can discuss this seriously.”

Amber propped herself up on an elbow to glance at the alarm clock again on the bed stand. She rested the upper half of her body on my chest, breasts pushing up against me. The sensation put a smile on my face. It felt natural to enjoy the afterglow. Especially since our time had been cut short, and it still was short. Too short for us to have a serious conversation about our expectations.

“We have five minutes,” Amber said. “Is that enough to talk about what you want to talk about?”

I shook my head. “Not enough time. We do need to talk, though. I don’t want to bring any attention to you with all this hype around your father.”

“I understand that. I want to keep this quiet, too.” She chewed on her bottom lip for a long second. “It’d be a good idea to keep this to ourselves until things quiet down. Have you seen the latest headlines?”

“I haven’t bothered to look,” I said. “I don’t get much service right now, either. I’m running out of movies for Lily to watch.”

Amber ran her fingertips through the curl of my chest hair. “It’s been hell with my ex-husband. Soon to be, I should say. His father is my father’s political opponent at this point.”

“I’m sure it’s a war of words,” I said grimly. “If I ever see that piece of shit on the street—”

“You won’t,” she interjected, shaking her head. “He’s all the way in D.C. at the moment with his father. I won custody of Ethan, but he gave that up without a fight, my lawyers said.”

“What about the final divorce?”

“Waiting for him to sign the papers,” Amber said. “He agreed to the terms, so it’s just when he signs the papers. I’ve already signed them.”

I gathered her close again in relief. “Good. That’ll make this much easier for the both of us.”

“Agreed,” she mumbled against my chest, pressing a tender kiss to the spot above my heart. “I love you, Gage. I’m falling in love with you.”

“I love you, too,” I said and pressed a kiss to the top of her head with a smile. “We better get back before the classes end.”

We drove back to the museum in a sated and mutual glow of contentment. I let go of Amber’s hand when I found a parking spot. Both of us walked in to retrieve a happy Ethan and Lily from the classroom. A shadow crept over me, though, when we reached the cabin Beau was using for his stay in Montana. I hated leaving Amber here and returning back to the emptiness of my own home. Lily didn’t seem too thrilled with it, either.

I helped carry Ethan’s various crafts into the house with Amber at my side. She caught my eyes before walking through the front door and reached out to squeeze my forearm gently in wordless understanding. She didn’t want me to go, but until things settled down, this was the reality of it.

Beau was waiting for us in the dining area with a field of paperwork in front of him. He glanced up when Ethan came barreling in with glee.

“Look at those crafts,” he said when I set them down on the table. “Very impressive, Ethan. You did such a good job.” He smiled over at Lily, lingering at Amber’s side. “I’m sure you did a good job too, Lily. Your dad says you have a knack for painting.”

“I suppose,” Lily said glumly.

Amber smoothed a hand down the back of Lily’s head. “Why don’t we get Ethan down for a nap together? I have some clothes for you that I picked up.”

I smiled in appreciation at the gesture. Beau waited for the three of them to leave before he rose out his chair with a smile.

“Thank you,” he said. “Amber seems to be happy with you around.”

It took all my resolve to shrug nonchalantly. Raw guilt coated my insides, though. I glanced down at the impressive amount of paperwork that was spread across the table.

“What’s this?” I asked.

Beau glanced at the papers dismissively. “Just a new law I’m about to propose, is all. I have to ask you a question, Gage. A serious one.”

My heart stilled with dread. A part of me was tempted to duck out quickly, but I forced myself stay. “Sure. What is it?”

“Has Amber mentioned anything about Scott?” Beau asked.

I let out a relieved breath at the question.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Not all. Not once really. Why are you asking?”

“I’m not sure how to explain it, but there is something secretive going on with her. I have a feeling it is has to deal with Scott.”

“How so?” I asked, even though I didn’t want to know. Not after spending an incredible afternoon with her.

Beau shrugged his shoulders. “The divorce proceedings are stalling is all. She hasn’t gone to her appointments, which I fear is a sign that she’s hesitating.” He smiled thinly at me, unaware of the jealousy sparking in me. “You know that Amber is one of those people who tries to fix broken people. She even admitted that to me this week when I asked about the divorce.”

A coldness washed over me, despite the logical part of my head arguing that it didn’t matter. We were both trying to move on with our lives. I still missed Marcie every time I got up in the morning, but all of that had dulled with Amber’s company. Now, I found myself running over the weeks that Amber had spent with me. I never picked up on that hesitation, but Amber was good at keeping her emotions guarded to when she needed.

Lily and Amber entered the dining room a moment later. Holding up the bags of clothes, Lily smiled at me.

“Look what Amber got me,” she said. “All new clothes to try on for school. What do you think, Dad?”

I avoided Amber’s eyes to keep my emotions guarded. I didn’t want to explode in front of everyone in the room.

“Very nice,” I said, a bit curtly. “We need to get going, Lily. We’ll figure out another day to come back down.”

Lily picked up the warning in my voice. She thanked Amber for the clothes before coming to my side without an argument. I managed a tight-lipped smile at Beau before looking to Amber. Confusion danced in her eyes, but all I could do was nod a quick goodbye.

I didn’t want to think about the jealousy simmering in my veins. It wasn’t my business if she still had feelings for Scott, or if she was stalling the divorce. It wasn’t my place to talk about it, even if a part of me burned to know.

Chapter 18

Amber

 

 

It was a huge relief to hear my father tell his team that we were going to stay in Montana for a little bit longer. The state-wide impact from the winter storm was now spreading into other surrounding states. The highways were an absolute mess. Trucks couldn’t get to where they needed to go, to deliver food and supplies to supermarkets. There were deaths, too. A lot of them.

I lowered the newspaper after reading another story of a man pulling off the side of the road to wait for help. The exhaust pipe had clogged up without him knowing it with snow and ice. He was found dead by first responders who were on the way to help him as fast they could. I prayed for his family quietly as I picked up my coffee cup. The airports were closed down, too, with this rush of arctic temperatures.

I felt guilty for being so relieved that we were staying put until the weather let up. People were dying in the cold temperatures while utility crews fought to bring power back on. We were lucky to have generators and an endless supply of money to fuel those generators with.

My fathered appeared in the kitchen with Ethan tagging along behind him. They were both dressed in their Sunday clothes, finely pressed pants and button up shirts. My father’s silver hair was slicked back as usual. He smelled fresh of aftershave as well when he deposited Ethan into the chair next to mine.

“Are we ready to go?” he asked, pressing a kiss to my head in passing. “I want to make sure we leave on time with the roads being icy. Don’t want to be late for church.” He winked playfully at Ethan, who giggled. “Thou shall not be late when going to church.”

“It wouldn’t be a good idea,” I agreed with a smile. “Are the SUV’s packed with extra blankets that I bought?”

“All packed up.” My father smiled at me from across the table as he picked up his cup of coffee. “I’m proud of you, honey. The church promised to help hand out any blankets that people needed. Only half the city has power with the power lines snapping from the ice.”

“I just can’t imagine being without power right now,” I said, shivering at the thought. It was freezing outside, much colder than normal temperatures during the winter months in Montana. An arctic front was coming through, and with all the snow still on the ground, it was frigid out. Many of the churches had been kind enough to take in any homeless people to prevent them from freezing to death in the middle of the night.

“No, we’re lucky that we have generators here to help us get through the cold days and nights.”

We fell into companionable silence while Ethan ate between us. He hopped down after finishing his breakfast to go play in the living room. I gazed out the kitchen window. A part of me wanted to pick up the phone, to call Gage, and hear his voice. It didn’t take a body language expert to know that something was wrong in Gage’s demeanor yesterday after we returned from the afternoon in the hotel room. He had spoken harshly to Lily who followed him without an argument. She knew when to push her father’s buttons, but when not to argue, either.

I had no idea what happened. My father remained in a cheerful mood throughout the day afterwards. If something had come out, Gage wouldn’t have walked out of the house unscathed.

“Amber?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you not hear a word I just said?”

“I’m sorry,” I said, and looked back at my father, who sighed in irritation. “I was thinking about something. What were you saying?”

“That’s what I was commenting about,” he remarked wryly. “That you seem a bit lost in your thoughts, again. What’s going on with you?”

I shook my head at him because there was no possible way that I could explain my feelings for Gage to him. I didn’t want to sell the relationship out before it could begin, either. I wanted to stay in our private little bubble longer, if not permanently, before everyone else pushed themselves into it.

“Nothing is going on with me,” I said. “Why do you keep asking me that question?”

“Because I’m starting to worry that you’re stalling on the divorce,” my father said coolly. “You haven’t been to any of your appointments with your lawyer. They’ve done everything completely blind for you.”

“I thought that’s what the plan was. For me to stay out of sight.”

My father gave me a long and critical look that instantly had me shifting nervously on the edge of my seat. He had the uncanny ability to see things in people, particularly when they weren’t being honest. My mother and I always joked that he should’ve worked for the CIA or the FBI, taking down criminals or analyzing them.

“Something is going on with you,” he said slowly. “I know there is something that you don’t want to tell me about, but I’m going to trust that whatever it is, you’ll tell me eventually.”

I didn’t respond. I felt the lure of information in his words. He wanted me to confirm that there was something going on, but I refused to acknowledge it. I didn’t even know how to process through my own emotions for Gage yet.

“The lawyers have sent over the terms of your divorce. We are just waiting for Scott’s lawyers to agree.”

“Then, why are you asking me if I’m stalling?” I asked irritably. “It’s him that is stalling. Not me.”

“It would’ve gone faster if you went to those appointment, Amber. That’s what I’m saying. I don’t know why you felt the need to skip them.”

“I don’t want to go to them because then I’ll have to face Scott in front of a judge,” I said, rising from my chair. “I’m going to finish getting ready for church. I’ll see you in the car.”

I left the kitchen with tears burning in my eyes. I could feel the weight of my father’s stare burning into my back. Bypassing the busy living room, I hurried up the stairs to the guest room.

Why can’t he just let this go? I want to just move on. Move far away from everything.

I entered the bathroom to grab my bag of makeup from the counter. The bubble with Gage felt even more inviting than ever. At least it was peaceful, but it was also exciting in there with him. The rest of the world felt cold and critical to whatever decisions I made.

Dabbing some foundation under my eyes, I stared at my reflection in the mirror as a wave of queasiness crashed over me again. My skin felt different this morning. Everything about my body felt different. I couldn’t explain the constant cramping, or the back aches followed by nausea.

The flu. That’s what it is. The flu.

I found Ethan already buckled in one of the SUV’s when I stepped outside. Cold air nipped at my bare legs as I hopped into the passenger seat next to him. My father hopped into the other seat. The drive back through Bozeman was slow and, at times, treacherous. The roads were slick with ice. By the time we reached the church, I was covered in a sheen of cold sweat. My stomach was churning, too.

All of that disappeared though when I spotted Gage’s truck in the church parking lot. My heart leapt at the prospect of having another excuse to see Gage, but his truck was empty when I walked past it.

“I didn’t think Gage would be here,” my father remarked, also looking at the truck with a frown. “He normally never attends church. I can’t remember the last time he even appeared in a church.”

“I’m not sure,” I replied, adjusting Ethan’s weight on my hip. “I’m going to drop Ethan off at daycare in the church basement.”

My father glanced at me with a frown. “Bring a security detail with you to keep an eye on Ethan.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “He doesn’t need one here. No one is going to do anything to him.”

He didn’t get the chance to argue. A few men from the church immediately flanked my father’s side to shake his hand. I walked through the church lobby to the stairs that led down to the basement where bible study and daycare were located. Ethan gladly wiggled out of my grasp at the sight of the other kids. I kissed him goodbye before signing him into daycare and peering in through the window into the bible study group. I spotted Lily’s chocolate brown hair, tangled again, pulled back in a ponytail as she flipped through her bible with visible boredom.

That meant Gage was somewhere in the church.

I spotted Gage in the fourth row in the pews with my father and a few members of security. Heart pounding, I tried to keep my nerves at bay as I approached them on wobbly legs. Gage’s eyes flicked away from the conversation to watch me approach, but that familiar warmth in his eyes was gone. He seemed guarded and reserved as he nodded curtly at me.

His aloof demeanor stung. Deeper than I wanted to admit.

I stood next to my father’s side while I waited for a break in the conversation to sweep Gage up into a discussion. Irritation swept through me when my father sat down between the two of us. Folding my hands neatly in my lap, I tried to focus on the hymns and sermons while my mind raced. A headache thrummed in my temples. The heater kicked on, blasting everyone in the pew, but I shifted uncomfortably against the heat. The sweater dress I’d picked to wear to church clung to every inch of me as I glanced over at Gage to find him sitting rigidly in the pew next to my father. His eyes were focused on the minister, but they were glazed over in thought.

It wasn’t until church service ended that Gage came up behind me to whisper in my ear.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, voice low. “Can you talk tonight?”

The both of us were facing forward, but with the loud chatter of conversation, it was impossible for anyone to overhear us. I kept myself facing forward as I watched a stream of people exit the church. If I turned around, then I would want to kiss him madly.

“I’ll call you tonight after everyone is asleep,” I muttered back. “Will that work?”

“It’ll have to.”

I blinked at the curt reply, unsure of how to decipher that. The rest of the day passed by in an anxious blur of distributing blankets to the churches and talking to the press. I hated this part of doing something nice for people, the way the media turned it into a big deal.

It was well past ten at night when the entire house went quiet. I dialed Gage’s cell phone number, inwardly praying that cell service was back up. It went straight to voicemail, and I reluctantly dialed the landline. I didn’t want to wake Lily up, but he answered it on the first ring.

“Hey,” I said, burrowing into my blankets to keep my voice muffled. The last thing I needed was security to overhear my conversation with Gage. “What did you need to talk about?”

“I just want to know one thing,” Gage said.

I chewed on my lip nervously at the abrupt tone of his voice. I had no idea what had prompted Gage’s sour mood, but it apparently had something to do with my life.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Are you still in love with your ex-husband?”

“What?” I whisper-shrieked, thoroughly astounded by the question. I would have laughed, but Gage sounded so serious. “No. Absolutely not, Gage. Why would you ask that?”

Gage sighed into the phone. “It’s something that your father mentioned to me about your divorce yesterday. He said that he noticed you’ve been pining over someone, and he believes it’s your ex-husband.”

“It’s not my ex-husband,” I stated, exasperated. “Is that why you’ve barely spoken a word to me since yesterday?”

“Maybe. I’m sorry.”

It was incredibly endearing and sexy to know that Gage’s distant behavior had been because of jealousy. He was jealous over the idea of another man taking up my attention. It turned me on.

“I’m sort of obsessed with an older man, actually,” I whispered into the phone, grinning when he sucked in a harsh breath. “The only problem right now is that I’m turned on, and he can’t do anything to help me.”

“Crap, Amber.”

I reached down to push past the elastic band of my pajama pants to feel the wetness between my legs. The brush of my fingers against the sensitive flesh there provoked a shudder.

“I miss you,” I breathed into the phone. “Especially right now, while I have my hand somewhere that wants you and only you.”

“What are you trying to do to me, Amber?” Gage croaked into the phone.

I smiled at the husky quality in his voice. “I’m just teasing you. We need to make another private escape, yes?”

“Absolutely. I’ll figure something out.”

“Good. Back to business. Are you stroking yourself right now?”

Chapter 19

Gage

 

 

“Are you stroking yourself?”

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d heard something so sexy and downright arousing. The relief I had felt when Amber explained that she wasn’t missing her ex-husband, just me and only me, had been so great that I nearly came right then and there.

Cradling the phone to my ear, I hopped down from the kitchen bar stool to head up the stairs. “I’m in the kitchen. Wait a second for this.”

“Hurry it up, Gage. I’m already ready for you. Hot and wet and aching.”

Holy shit.

I jogged up the stairs quickly, but quietly, so as not to disturb Lily. She rarely woke up in the middle of the night anymore, but for good measure, I locked my bedroom door and the adjacent door. I didn’t want to be caught in this position. I didn’t even want to think about having to explain to my daughter what sex was. That was a conversation I hoped Amber would be around for.

I pushed my pants and boxers down to my knees. My erection sprung up, the tip already moistened in anticipation. The real deal was far better, but I had to settle on Amber’s voice instead tonight. I grasped the base. A shudder went straight up my body in response.

“I’m ready,” I breathed into the phone. “You go first. I want to hear you go over the edge first.”

“Are you sure about that?” Amber asked, her voice just as breathless. “It might take a minute or two.”

“I have a minute or two, if you do.”

“More than that. Everyone is asleep right now.”

“Perfect,” I said. “Do it, baby. Touch yourself for me.”

I heard her shift around on the other end of the phone. The intake of her breath was enough to make my cock twitch in excitement. I slowed my strokes down to listen to every little breath and gasp she took. It wasn’t until she moaned into the phone, slightly muffled to keep quiet that I picked up the pace in return.

“I wish you were here,” I panted heavily into the phone. “You have no idea. I wish it was your hand right now, not mine.”

“Just imagine my hand on you,” she urged. “Do it, Gage. I want to hear.”

I lucked out. The thought filled my mind quickly as I let pleasure take over me. Amber was smart, beautiful, and she was willing to play along with anything that came to mind. Any man dreamed of having a woman who would do whatever they wanted, but Amber had her own ideas about sex, too. Ideas that I loved.

My peak came hard. I bit my lip to keep myself from crying out. Amber waited patiently on the other end of the phone while I caught my breath.

“Amazing,” I said, pulling my pants up just in case. “It doesn’t matter if you’re here or not. You’re amazing no matter what.”

She giggled into the phone. “Well, I’m glad you think that. I was hoping we were going to have some time alone at the church.”

“As in sneak away with everyone there?” I shook my head in disbelief. “No way, Amber. I’m already assured a ticket to hell, but I’d like to delay that trip by not letting your father find out that way.”

“It might not be a good way to find out,” Amber replied, shifting around on the phone again. “We have to figure out a time to tell him, though. If you want to be with me, I mean.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. This was where things were going to get complicated. I wanted Amber. I wanted that relationship we both wanted to have with one another. But I wanted to prolong the inevitably ugly confession until we were sure that we wanted this.

“You know that I want you,” I said. “More than anything, but we need to feel like this is one hundred percent what we both want. It’s going to wreak havoc on everyone around us.”

“I know. I keep thinking about how confused Ethan already is about losing his father.” She sighed into the phone. “He doesn’t know what to think of you, either. He’s so timid about letting another man around him, besides for my father.”

“Ethan’s been through a lot with your ex-husband. I don’t blame him for wanting to keep his distance. Lily went through her phase of not wanting anyone else besides me for a while, too.”

“Don’t you wish you had their resilience though?” Amber asked wistfully. “I’d kill to have half of what Ethan has to get through the day. He just looks at life so innocently and simply.”

“I don’t know why that goes away with age,” I said quietly. “I wish that it didn’t, but we start to see the world as a cold place at times. Let’s just keep this between us for now. I know how much Lily really likes you, but—”

“I know. You don’t have to explain.”

“Thank you,” I said. “I’ll call you tomorrow?”

“Text me first. I don’t want anyone to see that you’re calling my cellphone. It’ll cause some eyebrows to be lifted here.”

“Right. Have a good night.”

“Sweet dreams,” Amber murmured, softly. “I love you, Gage.”

Those soft little words tugged hard at my heart strings. She hung up before I could reply. She knew that I returned the sentiment but spared me the agony of replying. Guilt was building in me again. Our relationship was based off a lie right from the start. Not to each other, but to the ones that we loved that surrounded us. None of this was going to be easy. We had to be careful as we continued forward, but I didn’t want it any differently, either. I liked the privacy between us. This relationship was ours, and ours alone. No one else was involved in it.

Yet. That small word felt big and full of menace when I crawled into bed after hanging the phone up downstairs. No one was involved yet.

 

The first glimmers of spring became a welcoming sign months later. I stared across the backyard with a small smile of relief. After a long and grueling winter with constant snowfalls, it was nice to see the ground. Even it was muddy and filled with dormant, yellow grass. It was the first the sign of a much-needed change in the weather.

I cupped a hand over my eyes to watch as Lily darted through the muddy puddles in the direction of the garage. The dress that Amber had bought her fit perfectly. It fell to her knobby and bruised knees. Sunlight danced in the glitter and grey fabric. It was perfect for what we were about to do.

A cloud crossed through the sky, then. I followed Lily across the muddy ground to the truck with our bouquet of flowers in hand. She turned to look at me from the passenger seat with a hopeful smile.

“Do you think we will be able to see it?” Lily asked.

“I’m not sure,” I replied, turning the truck on. “The snow is still melting, but I think it’s a possibility.”

Lily settled in the passenger seat with a sigh. “I hope we can see it. Do you think we could go see Amber and Ethan afterward?”

“I’d say that’s a possibility also,” I said. “I’ll call in the parking lot when we get there.”

The roads were wet but clear of snow as I navigated through the winding mountains with ease. A comfortable silence fell between Lily and me as we approached our destination. I had prayed all week that the weather would cooperate, and now with the warm sunshine, my prayers had been answered.

The cemetery hill still had patches of snow, but the gravestones were visible at least. A trickle of snow water came down the steep slope of the hill as I drove through the gates to park in the nearby parking lot. Lily unbuckled herself quickly to open the passenger door.

“It’s warm out,” she declared, hopping out of the truck. “I want to talk to Mom first, alone.”

“I’ll give you a minute,” I said as she closed the door. I watched while cutting the engine off as Lily took one of the concrete paths up to Marcie’s tombstone. Tears filled my eyes when I watched her little hands gently sweep away the dirt and debris from being buried under the snow.

Time never made stepping into this place easier. Lily and I had made it a point to come for the past three years on the anniversary to say our peace. I never knew what Lily told her mother in hushed whispers, but I imagined it was girl things that I wouldn’t understand. Things that Dad never did right, but I tried to do right.

Taking the time alone, I pulled out my cellphone to call Amber. She picked up immediately after the first two rings.

“Hey,” she said.

I sank back in the driver’s seat in relief to hear her voice. “I didn’t know if you were going to be able to pick up.”

“Of course, I would. I know what today is for you and Lily. I made it a point to keep my phone on me in case you needed moral support.”

A stretch of silence followed.

“Are you okay, Gage?”

“It’s not easy coming here,” I said gruffly. I reached up to rub away the tears in my eyes. “It’s not easy watching my child talking to her mother’s tombstone because she doesn’t feel like I’ll understand.”

“There are things that you won’t understand,” Amber replied gently. “Young girls need mothers to navigate through all these confusing changes. It’s completely natural. I promise.”

“I just wish that she would trust me more, is all. I don’t want to lose my grip on what is going on with my own kid.”

“I’d tell you if she said something troubling to me, Gage. There isn’t anything going on that you should be worried about. I swear to you.”

“Thank you,” I said. “What are you doing right now?”

“I am reading over some sort of law my father is proposing in congress. He wanted a second opinion.”

“And tomorrow?”

“What about tomorrow?” she asked.

“Just tell Ethan that I booked us to go somewhere magical in Florida,” I said as Lily came down the hill. Her knees were muddy and wet. “That’s if you want to join Lily and me. I think it would be good for us to get away, but also the kids, too.”

“Are you asking me to go on a vacation with you?” Amber asked.

I could hear the smile in her voice as she asked the question. “Yes, I am. Just don’t give the surprise away. I haven’t told Lily yet.”

“You’re a wonderful man, Gage Devlin. I’m lucky to have you.”

We exchanged goodbyes before Lily hopped back up into the truck. I handed her a rag to wipe her knees down before I slipped out as well. The air felt warm, warmer than anywhere else. Mud squished beneath my boots as I crossed over the pathway to the small and modest gravestone that I knew by heart. Lily’s flowers, delicate pink roses, were propped up against the smooth stone.

I crouched down to place my hand on the stone, absorbing the warmth that I felt there. Peace settled over me then as I gazed down at the squishy ground with the sun bearing down on the back of my neck.

“You know that I will always love you,” I whispered, smoothing away the bit of dirt that Lily had left behind. “I will love you until the day die, but you already know that I have to move on. You told me to move on, but I just want you to know that I’ll be here every single year to tell you everything. Nothing will ever change what we had.”

I pressed a kiss to my fingertips before placing them on the gravestone. My knees ached when I stood to gaze down at the truck where Lily was waiting. The past few months had gone by fast. With each passing moment I spent with Amber, the more I felt that connection grow between us. I was falling in love with her outside of the excitement of it all. There was no doubt in my head that life without Amber wouldn’t be possible. I needed her. Lily even needed her. The two had grown incredibly close. I still couldn’t forget that look in Amber’s eyes when Ethan had curled up next to me on the couch for the first time.

Our lives were intertwined together now. I had planned the trip to Florida to get some much-needed private time, but I felt complete with Amber and Ethan. The hole in my heart was no longer bottomless. It was capped with Amber, even though it would be a hole for the rest of my life. I loved Marcie with every inch of me. I’d give my life to have her back here, but this was the reality I lived in.

Deep down, I knew the longer we carried this on, the worse it would get. The media still swarmed around Beau Roselynn, and Amber as well. Nothing would be easy if we told the truth.

I walked back down the hill with the sun on my back. There would come a time when it wouldn’t be a secret anymore, and I hoped that during that time, Amber would be right next to me. I couldn’t see my life without her or Ethan in it now. It was impossible.

Chapter 20

Amber

 

 

The sound of waves crashing down on the beach stirred me from a pleasant dream of the night before. Gage’s impromptu and spontaneous trip to Florida to visit Disney World had been just what Ethan and I needed. We needed a break from all the chaos of cameras that followed us around between Colorado Springs and Bozeman. What is Congressman Beau Roselynn’s daughter doing these days?

I giggled inwardly at the headline that flashed through my head. I was frolicking in the seawater with Gage. That’s what I had been doing the night before after the kids finally tuckered themselves out from the airplane trip to Florida. Gage and I had made love on the hot sandy beach with a towel covering us in case anyone walked by.

No one cared about the Roselynn name here in Florida. No one wondered about the older man walking alongside me. We were just two people blending in a crowd of happy families. I loved the idea of it.

The sound of Lily and Ethan’s excited voices in the next room drew me out of bed. The two of them had been a bundle of nonstop energy since finding out that Gage had planned a trip to Disney World for them. They had fought off sleep for hours the night before, and judging from the sound of their voices, it was going to take a lot for them to get through breakfast.

I pushed the bedroom doors open to find Lily and Ethan bouncing around a breakfast cart while Gage paid the server. The smell of pancakes and coffee filled the large living room of the suite Gage had insisted on when we first arrived at the hotel. I pressed a kiss to Ethan’s head before taking a seat at the dining room table next to Gage.

“Come eat,” Gage said, waving the two kids over. “You have to some nourishment before we spend the entire day running around.”

“I want to see Cinderella,” Lily said. She took a seat reluctantly next to Gage as he handed her a plate of pancakes with melted butter and syrup. “I’m not even that hungry, Dad. Can’t we wait until lunch time?”

I sliced up Ethan’s pancakes. “We need to eat first. We won’t have any energy to enjoy the rides if we don’t have some breakfast.”

“I want to see Spiderman!” Ethan exclaimed through a mouthful of pancakes. “Can we see him?”

“I’m sure that Spiderman will be around somewhere,” Gage replied, nodding. He looked over at me with a smile as he lifted his cup of coffee to his lips.

I felt the brush of his hand on my knee, resting there warmly before squeezing fondly. I relaxed into the shielded touch with a smile of my own. These were the times that I truly enjoyed spending with Gage. We were intertwined in each other’s lives in every way imaginable. Our kids loved one another. Everything felt magical, perfect.

Except for reality.

Gage had yet to bring up the topic of telling my parents, and nor did I want to. I wanted this safe and secure bubble to last before it was popped open with everyone’s opinions. I knew why Gage held back. He valued my father’s friendship. His contracts with my father also complicated the future of our relationship even more.

I was lucky that my father hadn’t even questioned the real reason for this trip to Florida. He trusted Gage without question, and the guilt of that ate at the both of us.

Still, I couldn’t picture my life without Gage in it. He was every bit the man I desired and wanted. How could anyone ever turn away from that? It wasn’t possible. I couldn’t let go, even if my life depended on it. The past few months had been amazing between us. The time we had spent together, with the kids and in private, only solidified to me that we were making the right decision by sticking together.

Damn the consequences. I was going to be with Gage Devlin at the end of the fucking day, no matter what anyone else said. We were meant to be together. I had felt it back in high school, that undeniable tug of connection.

The rest of the morning and afternoon blurred by in an exciting haze of rides and various Disney characters. My feet were sore by the time Gage and I managed to carry the exhausted kids back to the hotel suite after eating dinner. I pulled Ethan’s shoes off before tucking him into the small twin sized bed next to Lily’s. His eyes fluttered closed without protest, curling up beneath the pillow to suck at his thumb with an exhausted sigh.

Gage kissed Lily good night before following me out to the bedroom. He closed the door with a relieved sigh of his own before turning to look at me with hungry eyes.

“Would it be so bad to have another round tonight?” he asked.

Despite how much my legs ached from constantly walking after the kids, I felt that flicker of desire start all over again. I smiled at him when he leaned in to give me a dizzying kiss.

“I wouldn’t complain,” I said. “Maybe after a hot bubble bath? My legs and feet are killing me from all this walking today.”

The corners of Gage’s lips turned up into a mischievous smile. “Bubble bath it is, my dear. I can handle a bath with you.”

He pulled me in the direction of the master suite bathroom. He poured a hefty amount of soap bubbles into the tub as he filled it with hot water. I stripped out of my clothes eagerly, without waiting for the tub to finish filling up. Gage chuckled deeply when I let out a moan of relief.

“It was a lot of walking today,” he said. “I don’t know how the kids managed to keep going until we dragged them away for dinner.”

“I don’t know, either,” I replied, my eyes slipping closed in pleasure from the heat of the water. “I’m surprised that Ethan didn’t have one breakdown today. He was pretty excited for most of the day.”

The sound of Gage’s belt buckle hitting the tile floor brought a new sensation of heat spiraling through me. Surrounded by a mountain of bubbles that smelled of vanilla, I looked up as Gage lowered himself into the water directly across from me. Our naked legs brushed beneath the bubbles and water. I shivered in response to it as he pulled me into the strong circle his arms and legs.

“Have you enjoyed your trip so far?” Gage asked.

His hands rubbed at my shoulders sensually. I let my head fall back against his shoulder in pleasure as those fingers began to work their own magic on the aches in my muscles.

“I’ve loved it so far,” I moaned softly. “It’s been amazing. Thank you, Gage. This was a wonderful surprise for everyone involved.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it. We all needed a break from the cold in Montana.”

“No kidding. I love snow, but I’m ready to move somewhere else.” I nuzzled up against Gage with a sigh. “Maybe here? I could get used to waking up to the Florida sunshine every morning.”

“I could get used to that,” he agreed, hands slipping down past my collarbones to cup my breasts. “It’d be a nice place to live. Right on the beach. Go for a stroll every morning. Enjoy the water.”

I bit my lip meekly when one of those fingers pinched my nipple teasingly. A thick haze of lust came over me then when those devious fingers slipped past my navel to cup my center gently in the hot water. My hips jerked in response when they started to rub gently.

“Gage,” I choked out, grasping his knees to hold myself still. “The kids.”

“They aren’t going to come walking in,” he assured, pressing a kiss to the side of my neck. “They’re fast asleep. I haven’t heard a peep out of them.”

“We’re violating our own rule here. Remember?”

Gage’s teeth nibbled at the side of my neck. “The kids are asleep, Amber. That rule only applies if they are awake.”

A finger slipped inside of me and began to move. I could feel Gage’s erection, hard and hot, pressing up against my back. Sweat dripped down my forehead. I had no idea if it was from the heat of the water, or from an entirely different heat that Gage was stoking inside of me.

“I think we make a good team together,” he said. “Don’t you?”

I licked my lips at that. “I think so. Ethan really looks up to you now.”

“I’m happy that he trusts me. Do you ever think about having more kids?”

“More kids?”

I opened my eyes at the question. Twisting around, I looked up at Gage to find that his eyes were smoldering for an entirely different reason. They were filled with warmth and compassion. And love. My heart raced as I turned myself around fully to face him.

“Are you asking what I’m thinking you’re asking?” I asked.

Gage smirked in amusement. “What do you think I’m asking?”

“That you’re thinking about more kids?” I suggested, and when he nodded, I continued on with one eye trained on him cautiously. “With me? Are you suggesting that?”

“I am,” he said. “Why not? Our kids love each other. We make a good team.”

“What about everything else?”

“We’ll figure that out when the time comes,” Gage said, pressing a finger to my lips. “Let’s focus on what we have right now. Nothing else, okay?”

“Okay.”

Our lips met in a heated kiss. Our slick bodies pressed up against one another’s. Water tumbled over the rim of the bath tub when I grasped the edges to lower myself onto him. A groan escaped Gage’s mouth as his hands reached for my hips to guide the pace. He reached around me to turn the water off before sitting up to kiss me again.

The combination of the hot water and the sensation of Gage throbbing inside of me was nearly too much. I teetered on the edge of a peak. Water spilled out again from the side of the tub as our hips ground together urgently. My fingers dug into Gage’s shoulders as that delicious heat spilled over me again. I couldn’t hold on any longer when his thumb pressed up against the center of me, pushing me over that edge finally.

Gage stiffened underneath me a moment later. I felt him spill before sinking back against the tub in relief. We sat there for a long time in lukewarm water with scattered soap bubbles all around us. My body thrummed pleasantly in the aftermath. No more aches and pains.

“Everyone should have this,” I mumbled, resting my head against his drenched shoulder. “It’s a great pain reliever. I don’t feel my legs anymore.”

Gage chuckled breathlessly. His heart raced beneath my ear when I rested my head there.

“That’s a new million-dollar idea,” he said. “Sex to cure your aches and pains. I don’t know how the rest of the world doesn’t know that already.” He smoothed back my damp hair before pressing a kiss to my temple. “We should get this mess cleaned up before we tucker out. I don’t want one of the kids slipping in here.”

Sleep tugged at my brain while we took a few spare towels to wipe up the puddles of water. I kissed Gage goodnight, reluctant to go to a separate room. I longed to fall asleep with the circle of his arms around me protectively, but neither one of us wanted to risk the kids coming into our rooms to find us in bed together. We didn’t know how we were going to address them, but keeping quiet seemed to be the best option we had.

The next morning, a whole new ache took over. My lower stomach felt bloated, ill, and crampy. A dull headache throbbed in my temples, too. I shooed Gage and the kids away to enjoy their morning while I took some Tylenol in hopes that all of it would go away. I drifted off into an exhausted sleep on the small couch overlooking the beach, but I woke hours later to the sound of the hotel phone ringing.

Half-asleep, I reached for the phone on the small coffee table next to the couch.

“Hello?” I answered.

“So, it is true, then.”

The sound of Scott’s voice sent daggers through the sleepy haze in my mind. I sat up quickly, heart pounding.

“Scott?”

“Yes,” he said coolly. “It’s me. Enjoying that Florida sunshine?”

He knew where I was. The thought terrified me beyond reason. I clutched the phone tightly as I checked to make sure that the door was locked. We hadn’t even bothered with security before coming down here because we were a thousand miles away from familiar cities and faces.

I swallowed thickly. “How did you know that I’m here?”

“A PI that I hired. I wanted to inform you first that I’m disputing the terms of our divorce.”

A sinking sensation filled me. “Why?”

“You see, I’ve done some digging on your whereabouts these past few months.” Shit. My heart pounded furiously in my chest at the smugness in Scott’s voice. “And I know everything, Amber. I know all about your little fling with Gage Devlin.”

Tears filled my eyes. Deny it, Amber. Deny it. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Scott.”

“Deny it all you want,” he said, chuckling coldly. “You don’t have to be honest with me, but I know the truth. I have photos here that my PI will leak to the press.”

“You’re lying,” I said, panicked. “You have nothing.”

“Oh, darling. I don’t think your daddy would like this development spreading to the press. So, I suggest that you button up your adventure there with my son. Meet me Monday morning at the small coffee shop we used to get coffee at all the time.”

“What if I don’t?” I asked, more brave than I felt. “How do I know you aren’t blowing smoke up my ass?”

“That’s your risk then, Amber. You know I don’t bluff if I have evidence. Tracking you to Disney World was easy. Photos of you and Gage Devlin having sex on the beach? Priceless.”

He hung up before I could reply.

Chapter 21

Gage

 

 

A late spring snowfall graced the mountains again. The cold and dreary weather suited my bitter mood just fine. After dropping Lily off at a friend’s house for a sleepover, I had hoped to catch Amber for a private conversation before she went back with Ethan to her parents’ home. That hope had been dashed like everything else that happened over the previous two days when Amber bolted out of the car without saying goodbye. She prompted Ethan to wave goodbye once, before disappearing in through the front door, not even bothering to wait for her father’s security team. I had stood at the back of the SUV like a complete fool and lost.

“What the fuck?” I muttered, running a hand through my hair. “What the fuck happened?”

The roads were slush on the way back up to my cabin. It wasn’t enough snow to create chaos on the roads, but it was enough to dampen everyone’s moods. Amber’s mood had only gotten worse over the past twenty-four hours, too. It had started that morning when she woke up complaining of a stomach ache, and after that, her carefree attitude was gone. She remained guarded, teary-eyed at times, and refused to tell me a word besides that she wasn’t feeling good.

I pulled up the driveway to park in front of the detached garage. At least, Lily would be occupied with her friend. It gave me the time to sort out everything without alerting her that something was wrong. She already believed something bad had happened when Amber locked herself in the bathroom for three hours the night before.

The entire cabin was chilly when I stepped inside through the sliding glass doors. Tossing my bags onto the floor, I went about opening the curtains to let a little bit of sunlight in. I clicked the furnace on as well, before picking up the phone to dial Amber’s cellphone number. The call rang once before going straight to voicemail.

My heart lodged itself into my throat. Frustration burned my chest as I slammed my phone down on the kitchen counter. I mentally ran over the past four days of pure bliss in the Florida sunshine. Going to Florida had cemented one thing in my mind, that I was undeniably in love with Amber. I couldn’t picture my life without her in it. Even if it was going to mean losing a friendship in the long run, or a media frenzy, I didn’t care. I wanted Amber for the rest of my life.

And I had sincerely believed that Amber’s feelings were the same. I still believed it. Something had happened to set Amber on guard again. I just didn’t know what it was.

My phone buzzed on the kitchen counter. Can’t talk right now. I’ll call you later.

I frowned at the curt message. That had changed over the past few months, too. We talked and texted every single day. Amber never ignored my phone calls or pushed them off. I texted back quickly.

What the hell is going on, Amber? I don’t understand what happened.

Seconds stretched into minutes. I stared down at my phone as frustration built all over again. The last time I had felt this confused over a woman was in high school. The mind games. The confused feelings. I ran a hand over my face with an aggravated groan. When did I go back to pining after someone? I was forty-seven years old. I had a life with a child. I didn’t have time to sit around my phone wondering what happened when everything had felt perfect.

I reached into my shirt pocket to pull out the small Tiffany box. Flipping the lid open, I stared down at the sparkling diamond ring that I had picked out for Amber the morning that her guard had gone up. I had carried this damned thing in my pocket for the past couple of days, hoping for the perfect moment to pop up again. The dinner I had planned, the babysitter to watch the kids, all of it had been dashed when Amber curled up in her bed.

The only bit of hope that I had clung to was Amber crawling into my bed the night before, once the kids were quiet. She had kissed me hard then, pulling me down between her legs without saying a word. We had made love fast and hard underneath the cover of the blankets to muffle our breathing and moans. I still couldn’t shake the desperation of Amber’s kisses, or the way she clutched at me as though I was going to disappear at a moment’s notice. Afterward, tears had filled her eyes as she climbed out of my bed. “I’m sorry,” she had mumbled, fighting back sobs. “I’m sorry, Gage.” And she had bolted through the door without waiting for a reply.

I shut the box to toss it onto the table. Maybe the reality of our relationship was starting to wear her down. My own heart was heavy with apprehension over what was going to happen once the news broke. I could only imagine Beau’s anger. I already knew that the press would tear apart the Roselynn name, but it didn’t matter. Not to me. Not to Amber either.

I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning up the cabin and getting a fire going again to fight off the early spring chill. The forecast had predicted another couple inches of snow over the next few of days. It would give Amber plenty of time to have her space and to sort out whatever was going on in her head. There were plenty of things to keep me occupied, and to keep Lily occupied throughout the week as well, with school and her afterschool programs. There were plenty of distractions to keep the both of us busy.

The rest of the week went by in a cold, slow blur. My phone remained silent the entire time. No phone calls. No text messages. The silence growing between us was deafening, and with each passing day, frustration mounted in me.

I channeled that frustration into the blind hope that Amber would be attending church Sunday morning. That blinding hope ignited when I saw Ethan in the daycare portion of the church, but it was doused quickly with cold water when I found Beau in the pews, not Amber.

“Try not to look too disappointed in seeing me,” Beau commented as he stood up to let me pass by him. We both took a seat next to one another, even though I was burning with anger. “I’m surprised to see that you’re here again. You never liked church.”

“Lily likes to come here,” I explained. Which was the partial truth. I also came to church because of Amber. I couldn’t contain my question any longer, either. “Where’s Amber at? I thought she would be here with you and Ethan.”

Beau looked up from the email he was reading on his phone. A frown tugged at his lips while his eyes studied me carefully. I quickly guarded my emotions, knowing well that Beau had an ability to read people.

“Did something happen over in Florida that I need to know about?” Beau asked flatly. “My daughter has been locked up in her room for days now. She has been physically sick to her stomach.”

I twisted my hands in agitation. “I don’t know, Beau. Everything was going well--” Spectacular. “—and then she shut down on me, too. She didn’t want to come out of the room there, either.”

“And nothing happened that you could think of that would make her feel this way?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I honestly can’t say that I know of anything that would make her feel this way.”

It felt good to be partially honest, at least, with my close friend. I needed advice. I needed to talk to someone about it, but I couldn’t. Not with Beau. Not until I talked with Amber about what was going on with her.

The rest of church passed by slowly. I bid Beau a hasty goodbye before gathering Lily from bible study to head over to Raychelle’s house for lunch as planned.

“Where’s Amber at?” Lily asked, scanning the crowd of churchgoers as they left the church. “I saw that Ethan was in daycare. I wanted to ask her a question about something.”

“I’m not sure,” I replied tightly. “Beau said she hasn’t been feeling very well since our trip to Florida.”

I sensed Lily’s gaze on me. I looked up to find her studying me with a curious frown on her lips.

“What?” I asked defensively.

We stopped in front of my truck. I opened the passenger door for her to climb in before walking around to climb into the driver’s seat. I turned the truck on to blast us both with warm air from the heater. A dust of snow covered the hood of my truck.

“You like Amber, don’t you?” Lily asked quietly.

I stiffened in surprise at the question. “Of course, I do. She’s been very close to me for a while.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Lily said. “I see you look at her the way you used to look at Mommy sometimes.”

I had to give it to Lily. She was a lot more observant than I gave her credit for. Amber and I both had agreed to refrain from physical contact in front of the kids. We didn’t want to arouse their suspicions. And because it was complicated between the two of us, we didn’t want to drag them into a situation that could possibly end in disaster at any moment.

Which, it had in a way. I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something drastically wrong with Amber.

“It’s complicated adult stuff,” I said as I backed out of the parking spot. “It’s not something you should even think about until you’re at least twenty-five.”

Lily’s face pulled into a disgusted grimace. “I don’t even like any of the boys in my class, Dad. They’re all jerks.”

“That’s right. Don’t go for the jerks. Even when you’re older, don’t even go for them.”

We arrived at Raychelle’s in time for a delicious fried chicken lunch. I ate heartily, starving from the past few days of not being able to eat properly. I waited for Lily to dart upstairs to play with a few Barbies that Raychelle had purchased over the weekend, before I sank back in the small kitchen chair with a heavy sigh.

Raychelle eyed me knowingly as she finished washing up the dishes. She started a pot of coffee before taking a seat across from me.

“Spill,” she said simply. “I can see that you need to talk about something that’s bothering you.”

I smoothed a hand over my face in exhaustion. “I’m just confused about everything, that’s all.”

“Confused about what?”

I spent the next ten minutes talking about the details in Florida, but I was mindful not to reveal who Amber was. Raychelle listened patiently, only stopping me once to pour us both a cup of coffee. She reached out to place a hand on my forearm.

“Honey, you need to put yourself in her shoes,” she said. “Just for a moment. You’ve had plenty of time yourself to come to terms with my sister’s death. Divorce is death too, in a way.”

“He was an abusive piece of shit,” I said coldly. “He beat her. I don’t understand how divorce in that situation would feel like death.”

“It’s complicated either way, Gage. It sounds like she is just having some typical confusing emotions. I don’t think it’s necessarily anything you need to worry about.”

“She won’t return my phone calls, Ray. I’ve tried everything to make her feel like she can trust me.”

“I’m sure that with time, she’ll see what you’re doing,” Raychelle said calmly. “Trust me on this, Gage. Just have faith and hope that she’ll take the time to sort things out. That’s all it sounds like to me is that she needs some time to herself. It’s not a sign of a break up to me.”

“I hope not,” I muttered, clutching my coffee close. “I don’t know if I can handle losing another woman.”

Raychelle patted me on the forearm. “Just be patient, dear. I don’t think she’s slipping out of your fingers.”

I turned away to look out at the sad sight of Raychelle’s rosebushes dripping down underneath the weight of the heavy, wet snow. That was exactly what it felt like. Amber was slipping out of my fingers.

Chapter 22

Amber

 

 

“Sex with Gage Devlin on the beach? Priceless.”

Those words haunted me for the next few days. No matter what I did, I couldn’t convince myself that Scott was bluffing. He never bluffed. He always had evidence that he liked to dangle in front people, in hopes that he could catch them in a lie. I didn’t take the bait, and he knew it was true.

I stared at the closed curtains of the guest room while I waited for the entire house to go quiet. My father was due to meet with the mayor in Colorado Springs, so it would give me a few days to myself. The past few mornings of constant bouts of nausea and headaches were enough for my father to convince me that Ethan could tag along with him. I didn’t put up a fight, even if a part of me squirmed nervously at the thought of being away from my son. But it was better this way.

If something happened to me, then Ethan would be with my father and security. They would protect him.

Knock. Knock.

I looked to the bedroom door that was locked. I could see the shadow of a person standing on the other side through the bottom crack.

“Yes?” I called out, not willing to move from the center of my bed. “Who is it?”

“It’s Joe. I just wanted to make sure that you were all right before we leave for the next few days.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said. “Thanks, Joe. I’ll honestly just stay in bed the entire time.”

“I’m leaving a few security members here that can take you anywhere you need to go,” Joe replied, concern in his voice. “Including a doctor if you need to go see one this week.”

I stared down at the three positive pregnancy tests on the center of my bed. Tears filled my eyes while another wave of nausea came crashing over me. I did need to see a doctor. Just not the doctor Joe was thinking of.

“Thanks,” I managed to say in an even voice. “I think that I’ll be okay, though. I just need to get some rest.”

“Call me if you need me,” Joe said.

I waited until I heard his footsteps retreat back down the hallway. Slipping off the center of my bed, I walked to the window to push away the curtains. The SUV’s were parked directly in front of the house. There was a flurry of movement as my father carried Ethan out on his hip, both of them dressed in nice suits, and slipped into one of the SUV’s with Joe right behind them.

Pregnant.

That little word echoed in my mind. There was no doubt in my mind that I was pregnant with Gage Devlin’s child. A torment of emotions crashed over me as I scanned the mountainside for any sign of that PI that Scott claimed he had hired. It was already going to be a shock to my parents’ system about my relationship with Gage, but adding an unexpected pregnancy to the mix? Both of them were going to be furious with me.

Guilt bubbled in me. A part of me longed to let the shit hit the fan. At least I would have Gage at the end of it all, but then it would leave my father’s reputation tarnished. Our wholesome image would be destroyed. Scott followed through on his threats. I knew that from our marriage of three years.

I gathered up the positive pregnancy sticks to hide them in a locked box that I kept beneath my bed. The staff would never say a word directly to my father if they found them, but they would gossip about it. That gossip would spread to the tabloids.

My stomach churned nervously as I ran my fingers through my tangled hair. I had ignored Gage for a few days now. He was undoubtedly furious with me, given what an amazing time we had together in Florida. It killed me to see the hurt and confusion in his eyes, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. Not when Scott had photographs. Gage had nothing to lose. His reputation didn’t ride on public polls and opinions. His reputation relied solely on writing computer software to combat cyber threats to the government. I couldn’t let Scott ruin my family because of my own selfish desires to be with Gage and start our little family like we had talked about.

I took a long shower before convincing one of the security details to drive me to the strip mall. I left instructions for him to return within an hour before heading in the direction of the small coffee shop that Scott and I had first met at nearly four years ago. Clutching the strap of my purse tightly, I slipped into the crowded shop. The smell of roasted coffee beans filled my lungs as I scanned the seating area for Scott. My stomach lurched when I found him sitting calmly in a booth in the corner, nursing a cup of coffee with a smile that made my blood go cold.

He appeared to be the same as ever. His blonde hair was slicked back as usual. There wasn’t a shadow of a beard on his jaw. His clothes were neatly pressed as well. The group of young teenage girls giggled to themselves as they gazed over at Scott with googly eyes that instantly made me want to throw up. Scott turned to wink at them, earning a chorus of excited whispers, before he waved me over.

My legs were leaden as I approached the booth with a wildly beating heart. I sat down in the seat across from him with the group of teenage girls staring at me. My cheeks flared hotly at their hushed whispers, but I refused to let my nerves show. Not with Scott sitting across from me with a triumphant smirk.

“So glad that you could make it,” he said. “I was beginning to wonder if I needed to make some phone calls to the press.”

“I’m not running on your time,” I spat out, clutching my purse to my upper chest as a shield. “What is it that you want, Scott?”

Scott pulled up a briefcase to his side. He pulled out a manila envelope before tossing it across the table at me. The corner of it poked my forearm as I glanced down at it with a sinking heart.

“Pictures,” Scott said, threading his fingers together in front of him on the table. “You came here to see if I was bluffing. There’s your answer.” He nodded at me with glittering eyes. “Go on. Open it up, Amber. See what I have in there.”

My fingers were trembling when I pried the envelope open to peer inside. There was a stack of glossy photographs in the folder, but I couldn’t find the strength to pull them out.

“For Christ’s sake,” Scott snapped, grabbing the folder from my hands. “Don’t be a bitch over this. You know what’s in there. Are you afraid to face it?”

“No.”

He pulled the photographs out to slap them onto the table in front of me. I stared down with vomit bubbling in the back of my throat at the picture of Gage and me on the beach together. There was no mistaking the position we were in, even with a towel protecting us from passing eyes.

“Disney World,” Scott said. He slapped another picture on the table. “Here’s one of you and Gage together at a hotel. Recognize the hotel room? You should, because that’s your bare ass, naked underneath Gage.”

“Stop it,” I choked out, trying desperately to keep control over my wavering emotions. “Scott, please. Don’t.”

“Here’s a good one of you and him in the backyard at Gage’s house,” Scott continued on, ignoring the tears coming down my cheeks. “I think this one speaks kindly of how much you two have been seeing one another behind your father’s back.”

The shot was pixelated. Whoever had taken the photograph had done so from a distance. Like on one of the mountainsides that surrounded Gage’s cabin. We were both sitting on the back porch, with me in between Gage’s legs and leaning back on his chest as shared a kiss. Our lips were stretched into happy smiles.

I tore my gaze away as fury shot through me. For months, I had thought I was free to enjoy my relationship with Gage in privacy. I felt violated in the worst way possible.

“What do you want?” I asked as Scott gathered up the pictures to place them back in the envelope. I didn’t even bother reaching for them. I knew he had extras somewhere.

Scott placed them back in his briefcase. He gazed across the table at me with a cold and calculated smile.

“The settlement,” he said. “I want that dropped immediately.”

I stiffened in my seat at that. “Why? That money is for Ethan. You’re going to punish your own son by taking away his cushion for the future?”

“How do you think our son is going to like it, knowing that his mom is a whore?”

“I’m not a whore,” I hissed, fingers clenching into fists. “Screw you, Scott. What is it that you really want? I know you don’t give a flying fuck about me or your son.”

“You’re right,” he said, shrugging. “I don’t care. I care about having my name slandered because of you talking to the press. Fair is fair.”

“I’m not the one who hit you. I’m not the one who abused you, day in and day out.”

“Quit crying,” Scott snapped. A sneer tugged at his lips. “Those tears don’t affect me. I’m only going to offer this one time, so you better think about it wisely.”

He leaned in across the table to grab ahold of my wrist with clammy fingers. I could smell that usual scent of soap that Scott used, along with his aftershave. He was so close that I could count the freckles on his nose. For a moment, I was tempted to let the vomit in the back of my throat come loose, but I forced it back down with a painful swallow.

“If you come back home to me, recant this story of yours, then all of these photographs will be burned,” Scott said. “It’ll go away. Your father will be free to keep running for his seat in Congress without any more scandals attached to his name. Understand?”

“You want me to come back to you?”

“Call the divorce off. Come back with me. It’ll all go away, and nothing will be leaked.”

His fingers released my wrist then. I slid out of the booth with a gasp, shaking my head at him.

“Think about it,” Scott said cheerfully. He picked up his cup of coffee. “Have a good day, Amber. Smile for the cameras outside.”

I turned to find a group of paparazzi standing at the front of the coffee shop. Their cameras were aimed directly at us. Flashes filled the tiny shop. I glared at Scott as he put on that best shit-eating grin of his before ducking out past them. Ignoring the hurl of questions, I hurried in the direction of the SUV parked out front.

I climbed into the back seat to tell my father’s security to drive me back home. Along the way, I watched the snow-covered greenery blur together through the tears in my eyes. There was nothing that I could do. Scott had the pictures. He had the proof that would destroy my family. He would do it willingly too, even if it took him out in the process. I couldn’t let that happen. Not after all my father’s hard work.

A few hours later, I called the lawyer to inform him I was dropping the settlement. I had plenty of money from my own projects to get through the next few years of my life. I called my father next to tell him about what I planned to do.

“I don’t understand what you’re telling me,” he said, concern filling his voice. “If Scott is harassing you, then we need to go to the police. Extortion is a crime. You don’t need to go into hiding.”

I stared down at my packed suitcase along with a bag for Ethan. I felt numb as I zipped it up with trembling fingers. It was already dark outside which suited my plan perfectly. If that PI was somewhere in the mountains, he wouldn’t see me sneak out the back door to the garage.

“I do though, Dad,” I whispered, clutching the phone tightly. “Scott won’t ever stop until I figure something out. You have to trust me on this.”

“What evidence does Scott have that can ruin my career, Amber? I have a PR team meant for things like this.”

“It’s enough to cause an uproar,” I replied, grimacing. “Trust me on that. I don’t want to talk about it right now, but just trust me when I say that it will cost you your seat in Congress.”

“Good Lord, Amber. What the hell is going on?”

“I’ll tell you when the time is right,” I said and rubbed at my swollen belly with a sigh. “Trust me. I’ll be fine. I’ll keep in touch with you until I figure out something. I don’t want you to give your career up because of me.”

“I can see that I’m not going to win this,” he said with a heavy sigh. “I’ll arrange someone to meet you with Ethan. Just promise to tell me what is happening, Amber. I don’t care if it’s my job that gets ruined. You are my daughter, and I love you more than anything in the world.”

“I love you too, Dad,” I said, tears streaming down my face. “It’s our little secret for now, okay?”

“Okay.”

I hung up the phone before gathering my suitcases from the bed. I powered my cellphone down next. My heart threatened to crack when I placed it on the small table next to the bed. This secret needed to be kept from Gage, too, and that killed me more than anything.

Chapter 23

Gage

 

 

I knew something wasn’t right the moment pictures of Amber and her ex-husband, Scott, surfaced in the newspaper after two weeks of silence.

“Two political families reuniting?” the headline read.

The picture showed Amber and Scott in a booth inside a small coffee shop in Bozeman. I wanted to punch that leering smile off Scott’s face. It didn’t take a body language expert to see that Amber was clearly frightened at something that had been said during their exchange. I didn’t even know why Amber was meeting her ex-husband in the first place. Their divorce settlement had been called off, too, from what I read in the paper as well.

All of it concerned me. All of it stung.

Amber’s phone was shut off. No one answered at the Roselynn house, no matter how many times I tried to reach out. Beau had left Colorado Springs to fly back to D.C. His wife had also flown back to France shortly afterwards.

“This shouldn’t bother me,” I remarked, throwing the old paper of Scott and Amber into the fire. “It shouldn’t bother me. Amber is a grown woman. She can do what she wants. We never agreed to anything.”

I watched the flames consume the paper quickly. Something had happened to Amber for her to pull away like this. She was virtually a ghost at this point. I didn’t see her at church. I saw no sightings of her in Bozeman, either, for press coverage other than that day in the coffee shop.

Unable to stand it any longer, I retrieved my computer from my office to sit down in front of the fireplace. The nights were still cold, not nearly as warm as they were in the city. I still had to build a fire every night, but I couldn’t fight off the chill inside of me.

“Dad.”

I looked up from my computer propped open on my lap to see Lily standing at the base of the stairs. Her tangled brown hair was pulled up into a messy bun as she gazed down at me with a sleepy frown.

“Can you make sure to turn that fire down?” she asked. “It’s nearly eighty degrees in the house. I don’t know why you keep making these fires.”

“It’s eighty degrees?” I repeated skeptically. I set my computer down on the couch before padding over to the thermostat that controlled the entire house. Eighty fucking degrees in here, and yet, I’m freezing my ass off.

“I told you,” Lily said, rolling her eyes. “Just turn it down, Dad. That’s all I’m saying.”

I rubbed at the sweat on the back of my neck. This cold was coming from inside of me, not from the outside like I originally believed, with the early spring chill.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’ll make sure to kill the fire tonight. I didn’t realize it was that warm in here.”

“Are you feeling sick?” Lily asked. “If you’re feeling sick, then maybe you should go to the doctor.”

“I’ll be fine, Lily. Get to bed. You have school in the morning.”

I waited until I heard Lily’s bedroom door close before pulling up Google. I typed in Amber’s name into the search engine. There was nothing that screamed problems. I scrolled through the various headlines with a frown to settle on one in particular.

Congressman Beau Roselynn’s daughter skips another press event.

Avoiding the press wasn’t anything new. Amber had done it for months after news of her divorce was leaked, but I couldn’t shake it. Her disappearance from everything meant that something had happened. I closed my computer with an exhausted sigh. I knew Beau, too. If Amber had come clean to him about the nature of our relationship, there would’ve been a confrontation by now. Not silence. Politicians never stayed silent unless they were hiding a secret, and Amber was her father’s daughter.

I called Beau’s cellphone, even though it was close to midnight in D.C. I knew my friend never went to sleep before midnight. Neither one of us got much sleep these days, even though our kids were older. Much to my relief, Beau answered in a concerned voice.

“It’s late, Gage,” he said. “Everything okay over there?”

“Everything’s fine,” I replied, picking up the ring that I still had for Amber. “I just wanted to make sure that everything is okay with you on your end.”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I’ve been reading some of the headlines, Beau. I just wanted to make sure that Amber is okay.”

A strained silence followed. I waited for some sort of reaction to come from Beau on the other end.

“I am in touch with Amber,” Beau said evenly. “Her and Ethan are together somewhere safe. That’s all I can say at the moment.”

“Safe?” Those words struck cold hard fear into my heart. “Does it have something to do with Scott?”

Beau sighed into the phone. “I can’t say much, Gage. I promised to honor Amber’s request when she asked me to keep things a secret.”

“I’m just concerned is all,” I blurted out. I wanted to spill out everything, but I refrained from doing that. This self-imposed disappearance had something to do with Scott. Not me. Even if it felt like Amber was also running away from her feelings for me. “You know, Lily adores Amber. Our kids get along great. I just wanted to make sure that she is okay.”

“I’ll make sure to pass that message along to her,” Beau said. “I just think that she needs the time to grieve over her divorce. The lawyers are negotiating out a new deal. It’s very hard on Amber.”

I frowned at that. “I thought that was why she came out here with me in the first place.”

“It was the reason why.” Voices interrupted Beau in the background. He replied to them curtly before speaking again. “I have to go, Gage. Draft up some new cyber security program. That was a big hit here in D.C. A bigger payday for you if you can do that.”

“Sure,” I gritted out, fighting off my frustration. “I’ll get my notes to you to present to everybody.”

“Good deal. Thank you, my friend.”

I set my phone down on the kitchen island with an uneasy stomach. Amber’s behavior had to do with Scott, but it had everything to do with me, too. I could feel it deep in my gut as I set the ring back down. Amber was running from her past, but also from her future. Her future with me, if she even wanted it still.

Spring turned into a breezy and cool summer. It was October before I even knew where the time had gone to. I spent it trying to keep myself occupied with Lily’s activities, with her friends and various camps around Bozeman. I spent it developing new software that secured another contract with the government. I also spent it anxiously trying to understand where the hell Amber’s head and heart were at.

Beau assured me constantly that she was safe and sound. It was just troubles with her ex-husband. I didn’t doubt it, judging from the rumor mill going about that Scott’s father had something that could destroy Beau’s reputation, but I couldn’t stand it any longer. This was the woman who I had fallen in love with. She had returned to my feelings, and even though I knew that I should just let her go, I couldn’t just let go. Something about the distance wasn’t right.

I contacted a private investigator named Marcus Montes in Wyoming to look for Amber, who assured me that he could find anyone, no matter the amount of money and security they had around them. My doubts were erased when Marcus arrived at my house late at night on a chilly fall night with photographs and a notepad filled with notes.

“Build a fire,” I told Marcus, nodding to the fire pit in the yard. “I don’t want my daughter to see you here with photographs.”

Marcus shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever you say.”

I double checked to make sure that Lily was sound asleep in her room. After an entire day swimming with a group of friends at the indoor swimming pool, she didn’t even stir inside her bed when I opened the door. This was another reason why I wanted to find out what was going on with Amber. The two of them had grown close to one another. I knew that Amber wouldn’t have just walked away from Lily without a reason.

A fire was blazing in the fire pit when I stepped out into the chilly night. I grabbed two chairs to place them in front of the fire to keep us warm while Marcus talked.

“What did you find?” I asked anxiously. “I know you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t find anything.”

“You’re right. I wouldn’t be.” Marcus laughed shortly. He handed the photographs over to me. “You were also right when you said that you suspected that there was a security team watching over Amber. There’s a few security team members from her father’s political camp that are keeping watch over her. I only managed to get a few shots from the living room window.”

I stared down at the partial portfolio of Amber through the living room window. The house, I found through the other photographs, was in a small neighborhood known for the wealthy. In Bozeman. I swallowed thickly. Amber had been only thirty minutes away from me the entire time.

“There’s also another PI on the search for her,” Marcus continued on. “I know that he is working for her ex-husband, so from what I gathered, she is in hiding from this PI and her ex-husband. She has been living under a different name as well.”

I flipped through a couple of other photographs of Amber in the living room window. There weren’t any other photographs, which told me that Amber and Ethan rarely surfaced from the house. I handed the photographs back to Marcus.

“So, you think she’s in hiding because of her ex-husband?” I asked.

“That’s the general opinion,” Marcus replied, and he tore a piece of paper from his notepad. “Here is the address she is staying at. I wrote down the various times that the security team appeared and when they changed shifts. It might be better for you to confront her at night. There aren’t any street lights along this street.”

“Thank you,” I said, shaking Marcus’s hand with a sigh. “I will be in contact with the last part of your check. Sound good?”

“Sounds good.”

I remained seated in my chair until the fire in the pit dulled out. Cold air seeped in through my heavy jacket. An entire summer had gone by without any word from Amber. It was possible that she wasn’t interested in a relationship anymore. Part of me argued it was foolish to chase after her when she had obviously taken great measures to disappear from everyone.

It wasn’t until I dropped Lily off at Raychelle’s house that I decided it was time. It was time to find Amber, to confront her, and to get answers. I kissed Lily goodbye on the front porch, decorated with various pumpkins, before she darted inside to check out the Halloween cookies Raychelle had baked.

“What has been going on with you lately?” Raychelle asked, folding her arms with a frown. “Lily told me that there has been something going on with you for the past few months.”

“Like what?” I asked.

“It involves Beau’s daughter, Amber. That’s all I know.” She peered at me intently. “Tell me everything. Don’t even bother lying because I can see it in your eyes. Something happened between the two of you.”

So, I told her. It felt good to say it for the first time since February. Every little detail. Every little secret and exchange. I half-expected Raychelle to turn away in disgust, but her expression didn’t change once.

“If you love her,” she said. “Then, you need to go find her. You deserve some answers.”

“That’s what I plan to do,” I replied slowly, with surprise. “I didn’t think you’d be accepting of any of it.”

Raychelle shrugged her shoulders. “I may be older, but I’m not a square. Amber is a grown woman. I don’t see a problem with it.”

“Her family is in politics,” I said grimly. “Beau has no idea. I haven’t spoken to him about it, and I know that Amber hasn’t, either.”

“Maybe it’s time for you to have that conversation.”

“Maybe. We will see after this trip.”

I hugged Raychelle goodbye with lighter shoulders. It felt good to hear someone accepting what happened between Amber and me, not the other way around. I drove to the address that Marcus had written down to find exactly what he said I would find.

There were two SUV’s parked outside on the street, Beau’s personal security team. I parked around the corner to wait for darkness to fall. I watched the two SUV’s drive away to swap out shifts. Their replacements would be here any minute. I didn’t have much time. It was now or never.

I hurried forward to the front porch step. The living room light was on in the house, so Amber was probably still awake. I took in the small pot of golden flowers as I knocked on the door. I didn’t want to risk waking Ethan up since I knew that he was most likely in bed by now.

Hushed silence followed.

I knocked again. Insistently. This time I heard a slow shuffle of footsteps approach the door. I looked up to the small peephole to find Amber’s eye peering back at me. My heart pounded furiously in my chest. Months of pent up emotions threatened to spill out, right there on the front porch step.

“Open up, Amber,” I said. “I think you and I need to talk.”

“Gage. What are you doing here? How did you find me?”

“Your father didn’t tell me, if that’s what you’re wondering,” I said.

“Then, how did you find me?”

“You aren’t the only with resources,” I said and peered into the small peephole. “Open up. You owe me that much.”

A small part of me expected her to tell me to go away. She had put all this effort into hiding away from everyone, but I was surprised when the door opened. I was even more surprised to find Amber standing there with a large, pregnant belly.

Chapter 24

Amber

 

 

The first knock on the door poured an icy bucket of fear over me. There were only a total of three people who knew the truth and knew my location. I set my book down on the coffee table with an uneasy stomach. I waited to see if the person on the other side knocked again. It was probably a salesperson. They seemed to come through this quiet and upper suburban neighborhood all the time.

It was private. It was far away from the city bustle of Bozeman. More importantly, it was far away from Scott who had returned to Colorado Springs to wait me out patiently. He didn’t know where I was, but he still had those photos. It was only a matter of time in his eyes for me to make up my mind, but hiding out seemed to the best at the moment. Even if it killed me not being able to pick up the phone to call Gage, to let him know that I missed him more than anything.

The person knocked again. Insistently. Louder than the first time.

I grabbed my cellphone from where it was charging on the breakfast bar. Just in case. I knew my time was limited with hiding. Scott had PI’s that were good at finding people. He had done it when I had stayed with Gage at the beginning of the year. After a few months out of the spotlight, not returning anyone’s phone calls, I knew that Scott was seething mad.

I waddled across the living room with one hand curled around my seven-month belly in a protective gesture. A little girl. I wanted to tell Gage, but after a few months of silence, I was sure he had moved on in frustration. I never gave either one of us the opportunity to talk about the situation. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to be the one who shamed my father with scandal because of my own lust and need for Gage.

Resting a hand against the door, I peered through the tiny peephole to find an undeniable pair of icy blue eyes peering right back at me. My heart skipped as Gage tilted his head back to stare right back at me through the door. He looked worn out, from the shadows beneath his eyes, to the rough beard covering his face. His lips stretched into a thin line.

“Open up, Amber,” he said. “I think you and I need to talk.”

“Gage,” I started, shaking my head. I had no idea how he found me. My father had sworn to keep my location secret until I figured out a plan on what to do. It’d been a few months, but here, Gage was standing outside my front door. “What are you doing here? How did you find me?”

“Your father didn’t tell me, if that’s what you’re wondering,” he said.

“Then, how did you find me, if he didn’t tell you?”

“You aren’t the only with resources,” he said, peering into the peephole to catch my eye. “Open up. You owe me that much.”

I took a deep breath to contain my emotions. I did owe him that much. I owed him more than a disappearance. More than anything, I wanted to throw myself into his arms. Even if he was visibly pissed. A small part of me was flattered that he hadn’t let us go, not without wanting to see me one last time at least.

I slid the lock back to open the door. Gage’s eyes skimmed over my face before settling down on my pregnant belly that was visible through the sleeping shirt I was wearing. His eyes widened in disbelief before looking up at me again.

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yes,” I said. I reached out to grab Gage’s arms and pull him inside. “Please, come inside. I don’t want—”

Gage yanked his arms back from my hands. The gesture stung deeper than I expected it to. I deserved his anger, though. I peered out the front door nervously in search of the SUV’s that were supposed to be parked there. The neighbors were undoubtedly listening in on our conversation, too. I never had visitors.

“What is going on?” Gage demanded. His eyes were fixated on my belly. “Is this why you left without a word? I’ve seen the headlines, Amber. Is it true?”

“What headline are you talking about?” I asked nervously. “There are so many of them, Gage. Ninety-nine percent of the time, they aren’t true. You should know that by now.”

He shook his head at me in disbelief. “What am I supposed to believe, Amber? You disappeared without saying a word to me.”

“I’m sorry.”

It was the only thing that I could think to say, but it wasn’t enough. I knew that it wouldn’t be, judging from the way Gage’s eyes floated down to my pregnant belly again. I glanced over Gage’s shoulder by standing on my tip toes, scanning the surrounding street and bushes for any signs of Scott or his PI.

“Please, Gage,” I said. “Come inside. I’ll explain everything if you just come inside to talk to me about it. I don’t want this leaked to the press.”

A tense moment passed before Gage stepped inside, much to my relief. I shut the front door quickly to lock it as well. Gage glanced around the living room, taking in the autumn decorations Ethan and I had placed throughout the house the previous weekend. He looked over at Ethan’s Spiderman Halloween costume, hanging on the back of a chair before turning to look down at my belly again. A vein flickered in Gage’s temple. I placed a hand over the swell of my stomach, in a protective gesture.

“How far along are you?” Gage asked.

“Seven months,” I replied, gesturing to the couch. “You can sit down if you want. It might be better if you do, so we can talk.”

Gage didn’t budge from where he stood rigidly next to the coffee table. His jaw clenched as he tore his eyes from my belly again to look me straight in the eye.

“Seven months?”

I nodded timidly. “Yes, Gage. Seven months along. It’s a girl, too.”

“It’s mine,” Gage stated matter-of-factly. “Right? We were together seven months ago. We were in Florida together about seven months ago. Of course, this baby is mine.” He paused to give me a long and hard look. “Is this why your father has barely spoken two words to me about you? The only times we talk are through my contracts.”

“I asked him not to tell you,” I said. “It was the only way I thought that would protect us from everything.”

“Protect us from what?”

I sat down on the edge of the couch while Gage paced in front of me. He ran a hand over his face in aggravation. Guilt tugged at me. Telling him the truth would put both of us at risk, but all I longed to do was to feel Gage’s arms around me again. I craved that more than anything in the world. I had to tell the truth.

“If you sit down,” I started, twirling a piece of hair around my finger anxiously. “I’ll tell you everything. Starting from Florida until now. I don’t want you to wake Ethan with all your pacing.”

“Fine.” He took a seat in the recliner across from me. “Start from Florida because I honestly want to know what the fuck happened. I can’t even wrap my mind around any of this right now, Amber.”

I sucked in a long and deep breath while rubbing at my aching ribs. “I got a phone call from Scott while we were in Florida. Not on my cell phone, but through the hotel line. He had hired a PI to track me down. This investigator followed us around for a while apparently, because there are photos of us together.”

Gage’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Photographs of us being intimate?”

“Yes,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. “Many of them were of us being intimate. The last photograph he had was of us on the beach in Florida. So, Scott called to tell me that if I didn’t leave you and drop the divorce, he’d leak the images to the press.”

“Fuck.”

“I know. Trust me. I wanted to tell you the truth, but I wanted to see the pictures for myself. Scott never bluffs when it comes to threats. I told him that I had left you because I didn’t want to ruin my father’s career. He’s already so disappointed in my life at the moment.”

“And you dropped the divorce?”

“I dropped the agreements,” I said. “I’m still legally married to him at the moment, until I figure out what to do.”

“What about the baby?” Gage asked harshly. “Our baby, Amber. How could you hide something like that from me? You know how much I wanted to start a family with you.”

“I didn’t know I was pregnant until I came back from Florida,” I said, startled by the intensity in Gage’s voice. “I just knew that this was something that Scott would see as bait. I was trying to protect you and my father. You have to understand that.”

“Don’t play the victim in this situation, Amber. You could’ve told me. We were together, for Christ’s sake.” He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “This involved me. I was going to propose to you in Florida. I had a plan to tell your father, and none of that would have changed if you just told me.”

I sank back against the couch cushions in disbelief. Shock filtered through me numbly. He was going to propose to me? I stared across the coffee table at the man I had imagined being with since I was a teenager. We would’ve been engaged by now. We would’ve been enjoying our first child together. That possibility had gone out the window the moment I decided to believe Scott’s words over Gage’s love and care for me. It made me sick to my stomach thinking about it.

Hurt flashed in Gage’s eyes as he rose from the chair on unsteady legs. I pushed myself up and off the couch to grab Gage’s arm before he reached the front door. Desperation washed over me as I looked up at his cold and stony face pleadingly.

“I’m sorry,” I cried, trying to keep my voice low to not disturb Ethan. “I didn’t know any of that, Gage. If I would’ve known—”

“That was the point. It was supposed to be a surprise.” Gage shook his head at me as he untangled himself from my hands. “I can’t do this, Amber. I know why we are in the situation we’re in at the moment. You chose to believe your ex-husband’s words over mine. You chose to trust your future with him, rather than with me.”

“Gage—”

“That’s exactly what it is,” he said flatly. “I hope you figure it out, Amber. I can’t deal with this when you are the one calling all the shots, without even telling me a word.”

“I was just trying to protect my father and you!” I exclaimed as he opened the front door. “That’s all I was trying to do, Gage. Not to hurt you, or anyone else.”

“You did, though. That’s what you don’t understand.”

Freeing himself from my hands, Gage stepped out into the dark night without looking back at me. I gripped the side of the door with tears streaming down my face as I watched his tall and trim figure disappear into the shadows across the street. The SUV’s, my father’s security team, were back in their usual spots. They followed Gage’s retreating form down the street.

I closed the door with a shaky sob. The world gave out beneath my feet, and I sank down to the ground. Curling up into a ball, I tried my best to stifle my cries with the back of my hand. Gage was right. All of this was my fault. I had chosen to believe my ex-husband over Gage. Now, I was stuck in a home all alone, with my son sound asleep upstairs and a newborn baby on the way. I had done everything I thought I could do to protect my father, but also Gage and our little family.

So much for that, Amber. You’re the one that shit all over what you could’ve had.

I pressed my forehead against the carpeted floors. I had no idea how I could even fix it in the long run. There was no going back to the past, even though I wanted to go back to Florida that morning to hang up on Scott. Let him leak the pictures. Let him run his mouth all over the television. I would’ve at least had Gage throughout all of it, along with our baby girl, Lily, and Ethan. We would’ve had each other.

Chapter 25

Gage

 

 

“This costume sucks, Dad.”

I bit back an exasperated sigh as Lily picked at her Frozen dress with a frown. She adjusted her blonde wig, full of massive amounts of coarse blonde hair intricately braided, with a frown as well. I zipped up the last part of her dress before taking a step back.

“You said the dress from Frozen,” I said. “This is what I picked up at the store.”

“Yeah, but every girl in my class is going to have the same type of dress,” Lily said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She rolled her eyes at me dramatically. “It’s going to be lame, Dad. I’m going to look the same no matter where I go tonight.”

I did my best to contain my irritation, even though little things like this were starting to wear me down. Marcie had been one of those moms who understood what her daughter needed, or what she desired to do. She would throw Halloween parties in our house for all of Lily’s friends, but that had changed over the years. Our house wasn’t even decorated for Halloween as it once was. Lily never brought the topic up, and I never bothered climbing up into the attic to sort through Marcie’s boxes of decorations.

“You’re beautiful, no matter what,” I said, grabbing my wallet and keys. “Get in the truck if you want to get candy. I get half of your stock because I’m driving you everywhere in Bozeman to get the best candy spots.”

“I don’t think so. You have to get your own candy.”

“We will see about that.”

The entire population of Bozeman was out and about when I managed to find a parking spot in a busy suburb where the middle class lived. It was the same place that I had taken Lily for years because of the impressive turn out. We often walked away with a couple buckets full of candy. I spotted Raychelle waiting for us on the corner as a string of kids darted by her, eagerly dressed up in various costumes.

“Isla from Frozen,” she said, taking in Lily’s costume with a smile. “I’ve seen a couple of those walking by. Come on, now. Let’s get a photo.”

She held up a camera, but Lily shook her head. “No, Aunt Ray. I look the same as everyone else. Mom would’ve made a special costume. Even Amber would’ve done it.”

“Lily,” Raychelle said sharply. “Don’t act ungrateful in front of your father. He has done everything he can to make sure that you are okay.”

Lily looked at me through narrowed eyes, full of tears. I sighed. “Go on, Lily. Find your friends. Please just try to have a good time and not make a scene.”

She didn’t protest. Darting down the sidewalk, Lily headed in the direction of a small group of friends that were waiting for her. The group took off together. Raychelle and I strolled behind them at a slow pace to give them space, but to keep an eye out for them as well.

“I should’ve offered to help with the costume,” Raychelle said guiltily. “I knew that Lily is getting to an age where she wants to be cool and fit in. Wearing the same costume counts as lame to her.”

A headache pounded in my head. To fight of the chill clinging to my fingers, I shoved my hands deep into my coat pockets with a sigh.

“She’s getting to age that I don’t even understand,” I said. “This is where I wish Marcie was the one here to help her go through everything. I don’t have a fucking clue about what I’m doing.”

Raychelle patted me on the shoulder. “You’re doing all that you can do, Gage. It’s not easy being a young girl. It wouldn’t be easy no matter which parent was standing here.”

“It doesn’t feel that way sometimes.”

“And Amber?”

My throat clenched at that. I focused on the various decorative and plastic spiders hiding in the sticky cobweb along the shrubbery of someone’s house as we passed by.

“I thought you had found her,” Raychelle remarked, frowning. “Am I right? I thought that was what you had said a few weeks ago. I never got the chance to ask again.”

“No point in asking,” I replied, bitterness swelling in me again.

My mind flashed to her pregnant and swollen baby with our child growing every single day. I couldn’t get past her keeping that sort of secret from me. It was too much. It hurt too much.

We stopped on the corner of an adjacent street. I watched as Lily walked along with her group of friends, talking with a smile on her lips. All traces of her discontentment were gone now.

“What is going on?” Raychelle asked, frowning. “Don’t bother lying to me about it, either. I’ve read some interesting headlines about the Roselynn family.”

I shrugged my shoulders indifferently. “That’s why Amber claims she went into hiding, to protect her father’s political career. Her ex-husband has been blackmailing her.”

“With what?”

“With our relationship,” I stated coldly. “He has photos, from what Amber told me. He threatened to give them to the press to ruin her father’s career, and to destroy our relationship as well. That is the story that I got when I found her here in Bozeman.”

“And you’re still upset with her?” Raychelle slapped me on the shoulder, hard. She glared at me when I rubbed at my shoulder in surprise. “What is wrong with you, Gage? That poor girl is being blackmailed, and you’re upset with her?”

“She didn’t tell me the truth,” I replied defensively. “I would’ve done everything I could to protect her. She made that decision without me.”

“It’s also your hand in this too, Gage. It takes two consenting adults to get into this sort of thing.” She gave me a hard look then. “What else is there? Something else, I can see. What is it?”

I let out a pent-up breath through my clenched teeth. “There’s a baby, too. My baby according to Amber.”

“A baby?” Raychelle whispered, eyes widening. “Oh, Gage. What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I don’t know, Ray. I have no idea what I’m going to do.”

“No, I mean, what are you doing here? You need to make this right if you truly love her. Do you think Marcie would be proud of you for acting like this if she knew about it?”

I grimaced at the thought. “Why did you have to drag Marcie into it?”

“Because you’re a better man than this, Gage. You are a way better than that ex-husband of hers that is trying to destroy her family. Think about it from Amber’s perspective.”

A blonde haired little boy, about the same age as Ethan darted across the street. He was also dressed as Spiderman, with the mask dangling off at his side. My heart ached when I watched the little boy go to his father to grab his hand.

This could be us next year.

I didn’t want to look past Amber hiding her pregnancy from me. No matter what her reasons were, even if they were meant with good intentions, the months of never knowing that she was carrying my child stung. It kept me from enjoying that part of raising a child.

I couldn’t deny it that Amber was the only one that I wanted right now on this chilly Halloween evening, with Ethan and Lily trick-or-treating together.

She was just trying to protect her father, too. I had kept our relationship a secret to protect him. How was what I did, any different from what she did?

The two of us wanted to protect the ones we loved more than anything in the world. At the end of the day, I didn’t care what Scott leaked to the press. Amber belonged with me, not him. Our child would be raised with love, despite what the media and general public opinion said.

“Gage.”

I looked over at Raychelle as she smiled at me knowingly. “Go to Amber. I know that you want to go. I’ll watch after Lily tonight.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

The neighborhood Amber lived in was alive with trick-or-treaters, too. I parked in front of Amber’s house to find a bowl of candy on the front porch step, and all the lights were clicked off. I knocked on the door to double check if Amber was home before starting down the street.

I let out a relieved breath when I found a lone Spiderman in a group of Ninja Turtles walking together from door to door. I recognized the blonde curls of Amber’s hair as she walked along behind them with a group of other parents.

She never looked more beautiful than right there, dressed in a pair charcoal leggings, a black shirt that stretched across her pregnant belly, and the rusty orange cardigan she wore. Her blonde curls bounced as she waddled slightly in a pair of simple boots.

“Amber!” I called out to gain her attention.

Amber stopped at the sound of my voice. She turned to look back at me with wide eyes, visibly shocked to see me standing behind her on the sidewalk a few feet back.

“Gage?” She blinked a few times. “What are you doing here?”

“You know why I’m here,” I said.

She glanced at the group of women surrounding her, but they quickly dispersed in the direction of Ethan and his group of friends further down the street. Amber approached cautiously with her arms crossed over her chest. A puzzled frown tugged at her lips.

“I’m confused,” she said. “I thought you were upset with me. Why are you here?”

I took her cold hands in my own. “I don’t want to go through this life wondering what we could’ve done together. You know what I mean?”

“Of course, I know what you mean. I’ve been thinking the same thing.” Amber glanced over at the SUV’s that were parked alongside the road. “Gage, we can’t do this here on the street. Not yet. I don’t want my father’s security team to put the pieces together before I can say anything.”

“You’re right,” I said, and let go of her hands reluctantly. I gazed at her while desire burned through me all over again. “I love you, Amber. I’m sorry for the way I acted a few weeks ago.”

Amber smiled at me tenderly. “I can’t say that I blame you for being upset. I’m sorry too for everything that has happened. Walk with Ethan and me?”

“What about your father’s security?” I asked as I followed her down the sidewalk, longing to reach for her hand. To feel some sort of connection again.

“I’ll tell them you stopped by to make sure Ethan was having a good Halloween. They won’t bother us unless I give them the signal to come over.”

“Right.”

I spent the rest of the evening following Amber and Ethan around the affluent neighborhood, decorated with expensive decorations. The air smelt of crisp apples and dry leaves. Halfway through the walk home, Ethan placed his little gloved hand in my own hand as we walked back down the street.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said. “You make Mommy happy.”

Tears filled Amber’s eyes. She looked away hastily to hide them before Ethan could see. I smiled down at Ethan and smoothed a hand down the back of his fair head.

“I’m happy to be back too, buddy. I’m not going anywhere.”

I sat down on the couch in the living room while Amber whisked Ethan off for a warm bath to fight off the chill. There was no doubt in my mind that word would reach Beau that I had spent the night here at Amber’s house. His security knew where I was, but all of those doubts fell away when Amber came back downstairs. She slid onto my lap, straddling my hips before I could get up.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she breathed, pressing a kiss up against my lips that instantly set my blood ablaze. “I love you, Gage. Please don’t leave me ever again?”

“I don’t plan on it,” I replied, reaching between us to rub at her swollen belly tenderly. “Don’t leave me again either, Amber. Everything will work out. I’ll make sure of it. I promise.”

Amber’s arms tightened around my neck as she leaned in to kiss me. I gladly accepted it with a relieved groan and smoothed my hands down her waist. It delighted me to feel the changes in her body. She was softer with pregnancy at certain curves along her hips and thighs. Her belly pushed up against me, something I welcomed happily. She tasted of apple cider and cinnamon from earlier in the evening. Her skin felt soft, softer then I remembered.

I pulled back with one hand buried in her hair. “Where’s your room? Upstairs?”

“Yes,” she said.

“We better move up to the room, then,” I replied, adjusting her weight across my lap. The heat of her pushed down on my already rock-hard erection. “Don’t want anyone taking unflattering photos of me in a weird position.”

She let out a muffled giggle at that before climbing off my lap to take my hand. “Very funny. None of them were unflattering of you.”

“I’ll pretend that I believe you.”

We tiptoed up the front stairs after Amber punched in the security code next to the door. The upstairs was quiet, a positive sign that Ethan had drifted off to sleep without any issues. Amber hooked a finger through mine to pull me into the back bedroom. I didn’t waste any more time. I gathered her into my arms and pressed a heated kiss to her lips.

Chapter 26

Amber

 

 

Nothing could prepare me for the moment that Gage had called out my name in the middle of the street. I had mentally prepared myself after our fight to bring this baby into the world alone. That was until Gage came sweeping in to apologize and confess that he still loved me.

My heart never felt fuller than it did right then, with Gage’s tongue sweeping into my mouth for a kiss that overwhelmed every bit of my senses in the best way. Blood thrummed through my body eagerly as his hands did quick work on freeing my upper body of clothes. Violent shivers wracked my body as his roughened hands smoothed up over my back, taking his time while we stumbled in the direction of my bed.

“Beautiful,” Gage breathed against my lips, fingers unclasping my bra with ease. “You do you know how beautiful you are, right?”

“I don’t feel beautiful,” I whispered, resisting the urge to cover up my swollen breasts and stomach. “I feel like a cow, to be honest with you.”

Gage chuckled against my lips as he drew my hands away from my chest. “You’re pregnant, Amber. You look sexy as hell right now.”

Boldened by the compliment, I reached forward to tug Gage’s shirt up over his head as well. Our bare chests touched when I leaned up on my tiptoes to press a kiss above his already racing heart.

“I love you,” I said. “More than anything in the world, Gage. I honestly love you so much.”

“I love you too, baby. More than you could ever imagine. Now.” His hand gently nudged me to sit down on the edge of the bed. “Relax, sweetheart. You deserve this.”

My heart thumped wildly as his fingers hooked on the elastic band of my leggings and underwear to tug both things down my legs. I was relieved inwardly that I had managed to shave my legs this morning. Shaving had become an ordeal over the past few months. I didn’t even want to think of what it looked like between my legs, so when Gage crouched down between my spread legs, a stab of embarrassment went through me.

“Gage,” I warned, running my fingers through his silky hair. “I haven’t been able to get a razor down there for at least two months.”

Gage pressed a hot kiss to the inside of my thigh. He chuckled against the sensitive skin there before looking up at me with a devious smile.

“It looks the same,” he assured. “Lean back and relax.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

I didn’t get a chance to protest anymore. Gage’s lips were working their magic against the center of me. It never ceased to amaze me how skilled Gage was when it came to this. He knew what I liked and when to increase the sucking and tempo. He knew every bit of my body, and what it needed to go up to that pinnacle of pleasure.

We had been apart for so long. Things moved quickly, and my release came barreling down hard. I tasted blood distantly when I bit down on the inside of my cheek to keep myself quiet with Ethan right down the hall. My body spasmed pleasantly in the aftermath. I gazed up at Gage while he undid his pants with a smug smile.

“I’m glad you haven’t lost your touch,” I said breathlessly.

I scooted back to the center of the bed to give us plenty of room to stretch out. A wave of dizziness crashed over me suddenly. I sat up to drop my head between my knees with a gasp.

“Amber? You okay?”

I felt the bed dip down as Gage crawled across to my side. He rubbed my shoulders soothingly until the feeling passed. I looked up at Gage to find him frowning down at me in concern.

“Just lightheaded, is all,” I said. “The rush of blood. I can’t lay on my back for very long, either.”

“Do you want to keep going?” Gage asked. “We can stop if this is too much for you. I should’ve known—”

I pressed a finger to his lips before leaning in to kiss him. The saltiness of me still lingered on the tip of Gage’s tongue. I kissed him for a long moment before pulling back with a smile.

“There are positions to prevent me from getting lightheaded,” I said and tugged him down to the bed behind me. The feeling of Gage’s muscular body pressing up against the backside of me was exquisite as his strong arms wrapped around me protectively. I reached behind to coax him between my legs, and the sensation of him filling me to the hilt brought tears to my eyes.

Our hips rocked together in a gentle rhythm as we went higher and higher together to that teetering edge of release. Gage let out a throaty groan as he buried his face into the crook of my neck. His fingers reached around my hip to cup me while he increased the depth and pace of his thrusts in approach of his own orgasm.

My eyes slipped closed when wave after wave of bliss crashed over my quivering body. I distantly heard Gage cry out with his own release before stilling against my body. Our connected flesh throbbed deliciously in the aftermath of our release. I snuggled up against Gage as close as I could get, to feel how hard his heart pounded against my back. I felt him press a kiss against the back of my sweaty neck.

“I meant for it to last longer,” he said, gasping. “I really didn’t mean for this to go too fast tonight.”

I squeezed his hand that rested on my belly with a smile. “Don’t worry about that. We will have much more time.”

“I didn’t hurt you, right? Or the baby?” His fingers flexed protectively against the curve of my stomach.

“No,” I said, rolling out from beneath his arm to sit up. “Plenty of cushion down there. I was cleared for sex a long time ago.”

“Thank goodness for that,” he murmured, nuzzling his cheek against my back. “I’d be going crazy right now if you told me we couldn’t have sex.”

“There’s other ways to relieve the tension.”

He chuckled at that. “Good point, I suppose.”

We fell into comfortable silence as I floated in and out of consciousness under Gage’s fingers, tracing errant patterns on my back.

“Amber?”

I blinked back awake at the sound of his rumbling voice. “Hmm?”

“It’s getting late,” Gage said. “I don’t want to stay here all night because the security team will say something to your father. Unless you want me to stay.”

“Right,” I said, disappointment swelling in me. “It would probably be a good idea for you to go until we figure out what we want to do.”

“What is there to figure out?”

Gage sat up alongside me on the bed. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. I let my head rest on his bare shoulder while gazing through the darkness of my room.

“Where do we go from here?” I asked. “That’s a good question to answer for starters.”

“It is,” he agreed, stroking my arm. “Well, I’m not planning to leave you. I hope you aren’t planning to leave me again.”

“I’m not. I can promise you that.”

“Then, you come back to my cabin with me. I’ll tell your father that after doing some talking, you feel comfortable coming back with me. Does that sound feasible?”

“It could work,” I said slowly. “He’d probably like the idea better because he wants to know who the father is.”

My stomach twisted guiltily for lying. Again. It was hard sometimes to pick apart the sincerity and genuine moments with Gage when everything else outside of our relationship felt like a double life. I knew that my father was going to be beyond angry. Devastated. Disappointed. The scandal of it was going to be huge.

And yet, I didn’t want to live alone with this secret. At least I could share it with Gage along the way.

“How about it, then?” Gage asked. “That way we can deal with this together. I’ll be able to keep an eye out on you, too.”

“Scott has been trying to find me,” I pointed out, a shiver going up my spine. “If he sees me with you—”

“Let’s just deal with it if that day does come,” Gage interrupted. “For now, come back with me to the cabin. Lily misses you and Ethan both. We can tell the both of them we are going to have a baby together.”

I looked at Gage with arched eyebrows. “You told Lily about us?”

“Not really,” he said, grimacing. “She’s smarter than I gave her credit for. She figured out that something happened between us a long time ago. So, she knows that I am moving on with my life.”

“And she’s okay with that?” I asked cautiously. The last thing I wanted to do was intrude on Lily’s memories of her mother. I knew the two of them were close to one another.

Gage gave me a long and intense look. “She misses you, period. Does that help make you feel a bit better?”

“A little,” I said. “Ethan misses you, too. Our baby deserves to have two parents together.”

“Very much agreed, darling. It’s a deal then?”

“Yes. I want to come back to the cabin with you.”

Thanksgiving arrived with a snowstorm a few weeks later. After spending the past few days preparing for dinner, I was more than ready to stuff myself with turkey and mashed potatoes. The sound of Lily and Ethan playing happily upstairs, along with Gage’s voice, brought a smile to my face as I checked the turkey’s temperature again.

The smell of turkey and stuffing filled the entire house. I peeled the last of the potatoes while listening to three of them upstairs set up the nursey for Mollie’s arrival in a month. Gage had insisted on getting the room ready the second that Ethan and I had officially unpacked our things. So, we spent the previous week shopping in Bozeman after attending my ultrasound appointment.

My heart wanted to burst from joy and happiness. Our tiny little family was perfect, and about to expand. I didn’t want to come out of it. I just wanted to stay in the kitchen, cooking a Thanksgiving dinner for my family to enjoy in a few hours.

The phone rang right as I set the pot of chopped potatoes and water onto the stove. I quickly turned the burner on and grabbed the landline before it went to the answering machine.

“Hello?”

“Ah, I’m glad you answered, sweetheart. I didn’t know if I would be able to get ahold of you both with this storm coming in.”

I smiled at the sound of my father’s cheerful voice on the other end of the phone. I could hear the familiar sound of voices in the background as well. He had remained in D.C. for Thanksgiving because of a major snowstorm lingering over Colorado and Montana. My mother was set to fly into D.C. later tonight, from what I remembered about her email to me.

“How is the weather in D.C.?” I asked, wiping my hands dry on a towel. “No snow for you there?”

“No snow here, but I don’t mind a break from it. I just wanted to remind you that I’m hosting a joint Christmas party this year with Montana’s congressmen.”

I tensed at that. The last thing I wanted to do was to go to a Christmas party to overhear a million questions. My father had dropped the topic for now, but I knew the party would be an invitation for him to ask questions.

“I don’t know if that would be a good idea, Dad, for me to go,” I said. “That’s close to my due date. What if Scott arrives there, too?”

“He isn’t invited to the party, Amber. I’m not taking no for answer. You can’t hide in the shadows forever.”

“I can certainly try.”

He sighed into the phone. “Just please do me a favor and show up. That’s all I’m asking you to do. I won’t press you for information, if that’s what you’re worried about. Even if it would be nice to know who the father of my grandchild is.”

“I told you that I’m not going to talk to you about that right now,” I said, irritation sweeping through me. “I’ll go if you promise not to pester me about it. Nobody else can pester me, either.”

“That’s fine. Scout’s honor, dear. I’ll see you in a few weeks, then.”

“See you in a few weeks. Happy Thanksgiving, Dad.”

“Make a nice big turkey for Gage. This is his favorite holiday because it gives him an excuse to get fat.”

He hung up before I could reply to that. I set the phone back down in the cradle with a sense of dread growing inside of me. A pair of strong arms encircled my waist, resting on top of my baby belly. I leaned back against Gage’s strong chest without hesitation.

“Who was that?” he asked.

“My father,” I said. “He wanted to remind me that he is having a Christmas party here in Bozeman. He wants me to go.”

“Might be something fun to go to before Mollie arrives,” Gage said. “Why are you hesitating?”

“I just have a bad feeling about it, is all. I can’t explain it.”

Gage’s arms loosened from around me. He pressed a kiss to the side of my head with a smile.

“Try not to worry so much,” he said. “Nothing bad is going to happen. We will figure everything out like we have been. Okay?”

I forced a smile on my face, despite a little voice inside my head saying that shit was about to hit the fan. I could feel it. Something was bound to happen at the Christmas Party.

 

Chapter 27

Gage

 

 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Amber asked again.

I sighed in exasperation at the question. I turned around to look at Amber as she readied herself for the Christmas Party. Her skin was a ghostly, pale white from anxiety, but she still looked beautiful in my eyes. Her nine-month belly poked out from beneath the black maternity dress she wore over a pair of thick leggings and knee-high boots. Her blonde tresses were pulled up in a messy bun.

“Yes,” I said, rolling my eyes as I tightened the knot on my black tie. “Everything will be fine, Amber. I don’t know how many times I have to keep telling you that.”

Amber looked back into the mirror on her vanity. “All the way until we get there. I can’t shake it, Gage. Something isn’t right about this party.”

“It’s just your nerves. It doesn’t help that you’re nine months pregnant, either.”

“This is the first time that I’ll be seeing my father since I found out that I was pregnant,” Amber said. “My mother isn’t here to protect me from his questions like she has been over the past few months. I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to pry information out of you, yet.”

I fastened the cuff links on my sleeves. “That’s because I don’t let the subject come up. I told him that it was better for you to stay here where I could keep an eye on you. That’s all we’ve talked about.”

Amber studied my face intently through the mirror of her vanity. “That doesn’t bother you anymore?”

“What doesn’t bother me anymore?” I asked, confused.

“Lying to my father,” she answered primly. “Not telling him that you really do know who the father is?”

“Bubble, remember? We talked about enjoying our bubble for as long as we could.”

“I don’t know how much longer that will be,” Amber said sadly. “If Scott goes forward with leaking the pictures, all of this will come crashing down on our shoulders.”

“Which the both of us are prepared for,” I reminded her, leaning in to press a kiss against her lips. “Don’t worry about it, Amber. This is a Christmas party filled with important people. Your father won’t be bothering us tonight. Trust me.”

“I hope so,” she said, sighing. “I really can’t take the secrecy any longer. I’m ready to have this baby.”

I rubbed the swell of her belly with a smile. “I am, too. If you’re that worried about showing up in the same car—”

“I am worried about that,” she interjected.

“Then, you tell your father that I drove you because of the roads being icy. I don’t trust your driving skills around the mountain roads.”

“I can drive!”

I laughed at her indignant protest.

“Come on now,” I said. “Let’s get the kids to Raychelle’s house before it gets too late.”

We gathered up Lily and Ethan from the living room to buckle them into the truck. Amber was quiet on the drive down to Raychelle’s house. I could feel the apprehension radiating off her in waves. She was worried about her father’s questions, and what he would think once we told him the truth. The topic had come up quite a bit recently, since our baby girl’s arrival to the world was approaching fast.

I reached up to touch the small box in the inner pocket of my suit jacket. She had no idea. No idea that I planned on taking that nervous plunge to let everyone know that Amber Roselynn was mine, and that she was carrying our baby. By the end of the night, it wasn’t going to be a surprise when Amber left in my truck to come back home.

I didn’t let Amber see my own nerves, though. I was sick of lying to Beau every time he brought up the topic of wondering who the father was. The baby wasn’t Scott’s. That much, Beau had learned, but he was relentless in trying to figure out who it was. That was why he had never once questioned why Amber wanted to come out of hiding to live with me. He had hoped that I would be the one to figure out who the father was. Some nights, I stayed up late, feeling our baby move underneath the palm of my hand while guilt threatened to eat me alive. Still, I refused to let that threaten our joy and future together.

I took Lily and Ethan down the dark pathway to the front porch of Raychelle’s house after they bid Amber goodbye. Ray welcomed the both of them in, with a wide smile, before waving to Amber in the passenger seat of the truck.

“Thank you for watching them,” I said and gave her a quick hug. “I really appreciate it.”

Raychelle waved me away. “Go on, now. The kids will be fine with me. I rented several Christmas movies to keep them occupied throughout the night.”

“Make sure to play the old Frosty movie,” I said. “Lily is in love with that movie. I promised to play it for her, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet.”

I hopped back into the driver’s seat of my truck to back down the driveway. I started down the quiet road in the direction of the city lights piercing through the cold winter night.

Amber chewed on the pad of her thumb nervously as she watched the city lights blur around her. She sensed a change coming like I did. I didn’t care how upset Beau got, or how anyone would perceive our relationship. We were going to move forward with our life together. If no one else wanted to be a part of it, then that was going to be their problem. Not ours.

I reached through the darkness and lights from the dashboard to rest a hand on Amber’s bouncing knee.

“It’s going to be fine, honey,” I said. “Trust me when I say that it’s going to be okay. The sun will still rise tomorrow. Our daughter will still be arriving sometime in the next week or so.”

“I do trust you,” she replied, dropping her hand to grasp mine. “I’m just nervous about it. I can’t get over this feeling that I have, that everything will be different by the end of the night.”

“It will be,” I said. “I can promise you that it will be very different. In a good way, though. I promise.”

City Hall was decorated elaborately with Christmas decorations when I managed to find a parking spot close by. A giant Christmas tree shimmered with silver tinsel and Christmas balls in the middle of the marble lobby when I led a hesitant Amber inside. The sound of Christmas jingles, along with loud and happy voices, filled my ears when we entered the main conference room where at least a hundred people were gathered around various tables of food and drinks.

I took in the sight with an impressed whistle. I looked over at Amber as she unbuttoned her coat.

“Your father sure knows how to throw a party,” I said.

“You’ve never been to one of my father’s parties?” Amber asked, handing her coat over to one of the staff members checking in coats. “I’m surprised you haven’t been to a Christmas one.”

“Just barbecues,” I replied, handing over my coat as well. It took all my strength to not reach forward to grab Amber’s hand, to lead her through the crowd of people. “All right. Let’s find a table.”

“There you are, Amber!”

Beau appeared alongside Amber with a frown. “I have been trying to call you for the past hour. Do you not answer your phone anymore?”

“I just got here,” Amber said defensively. “I left my purse in Gage’s truck, so I don’t have my phone.”

“Your purse is in Gage’s truck?” he asked.

Amber’s eyes widened when she realized the slip. She looked up at me, desperate for help. For a wild moment, I was tempted to tell Beau everything right there. I had hoped the party wasn’t crowded, but everyone with money and status crowded the conference room. There was no private place to talk that I could see.

“I drove her here because of the roads,” I said. “They’re icy up on the mountains this late at night. I didn’t want her driving in the dark on her own.”

Beau’s eyes flicked between us, with that same scrutinizing manner of trying to read our emotions. If he didn’t believe me, he didn’t voice it. He wrapped an arm around Amber to give her a big hug.

“I’m glad you came,” he said. He glanced down at her belly with a strained, but small smile. “Only two weeks left, right? You’re about to pop.”

Irritation filled Amber’s eyes.

“That’s how I feel,” she said. “I didn’t want to come tonight because I’m sure that my water is about to burst.”

“At least you’re in the city close to the hospital,” Beau said. “Now, I know that I promised to leave you alone.”

“Please don’t bring this up here,” Amber cut in, shaking her head. “You did promise me to keep quiet.”

Beau looked over at me in exasperation. I shrugged my shoulders indifferently because I had nothing to say. Not yet, at least.

“Why don’t we get some water?” I suggested to Amber. “You said you were feeling thirsty on the way in.”

“Yes,” Amber said, seizing hold of the cue with a grateful smile. “Thanks, Gage. I do need some water.”

“Hurry back,” Beau said, waving to a couple who waved him over. “I have some people for you to meet tonight, Amber. Good men who can take care of you.”

My fingers clenched into fists at that. I ushered Amber forward in the direction of a tub full of ice and bottled waters. She rested her hand gently on my forearm briefly in concern.

“Are you okay?” she whispered. “You know that I’m not interested, right?”

“I know,” I said smoothly. “I’m just ready to tell the truth, Amber. I’m ready to let the world know.”

Amber picked out a bottled water. She shook the excess water and ice free while giving me a pleading look. “Just keep quiet for a little bit longer. This isn’t the place to do it. My father thinks he’s doing me a favor.”

“I know. I know what he’s trying to do.”

It was driving me crazy, too. My heart raged with jealousy at the thought of another man touching Amber. It was already killing me having to keep my distance as we navigated back through the crowded room when Amber suddenly tensed up beside me. Her fingers latched down onto my arm quickly.

Alarm skittered through me as I turned to find her eyes wide and focused on something near the back doors.

“What is it?” I asked, turning to look in that direction as well. “Who are you looking at?”

“It’s Scott,” Amber whispered, her nails digging into my shirt sleeve. “Let’s go, Gage. I don’t know why he’s here.”

I resisted Amber’s tugs on my arm. Just seeing that smug look on Scott’s face was enough to set my blood on fire. My vision went red when Scott’s beady eyes settled on us, and he approached without hesitation.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded, putting myself between him and Amber. “You aren’t on the guest list. I’m sure of that.”

Scott sneered in my direction as he looked over my shoulder to where Amber was cowering behind me.

“I’m here for my wife,” he said loudly. Heads turned in our direction. “I’d like to thank you for keeping her safe and sound, Gage. Very noble of you to do so.”

“Ex-wife,” I corrected coldly. “I don’t care how much you threaten us, you abusive prick. I’m sure you’re a big man when you’re smacking a woman around. Try that shit here and I’ll rip your fucking balls off.”

“Gage,” Amber whispered harshly. “Don’t do this. Don’t make a scene.”

“I’m sure Beau Roselynn would love those photographs of you and her,” Scott continued on boldly. “I didn’t think Amber could bend in those positions. Good to know for the future.”

My vision went from red to black. I was dimly aware of the sound of bones crunching beneath my knuckles. Gasps filled the air. I found Scott huddled on the ground with a stream of blood pouring from nose as he clutched at his face with howl of pain.

“Go ahead,” I snarled, loosening my cuff links just in case this needed to continue. “Threaten her again, you piece of shit. I’ll break more than your fucking nose. And release those photos. I don’t care anymore. It doesn’t matter after tonight.”

Scott stumbled up to his feet. His eyes glittered with anger as he glanced over at Amber, who stood behind me with her hand clasped over her mouth in horror.

“We’ll see how you much you don’t care,” he said. “Get used to being called a whore, Amber. That’s what everyone is going to think come noon tomorrow. I bet my entire damn life and kid on it.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” I said, taking another step forward. “Don’t make me ask you again, or you’ll be crawling out of here.”

I raised my fist, and Scott scurried in the direction of the back doors like the fucking rat he was. A stunned silence still followed Scott’s retreat as security filed out the door to make sure that Scott left. I turned to look back at Amber, who looked torn between relief and anger. She glanced around at the crowd of onlookers with a grimace.

“What the hell are you thinking?” she asked.

“Don’t worry,” I said, grasping her hand briefly. “You’ll see what I’m thinking here in a minute.”

I grabbed a champagne glass from the table to tap it with the side of a knife to gain everyone’s attention. I waited until the room was completely silent before grabbing ahold of Amber’s hand in my own.

“I need everyone’s attention,” I announced, squeezing Amber’s fingers tightly. “Amber and I have an announcement to make together, but I have to ask her something important first.”

I caught sight of Beau pushing through the crowd with a frown. Sucking in a deep breath, I turned to look at Amber who was shaking like a leaf in a cold autumn wind. Her eyes widened visibly when I smiled comfortingly.

“Everyone. I’m in love with Amber Roselynn. I’ve been in love with her for over a year now. The baby that she is carrying right now is my baby. I am the father of this child.”

Chapter 28

Amber

 

 

“Everyone, I’m in love with Amber Roselynn. I’ve been in love with her for over a year now. The baby that she is carrying right now is my baby. I am the father of this child.”

Gage’s voice echoed loudly in the room. The Christmas music had stopped suddenly when Scott ended up on the floor, howling in pain. Blood had spurted from his nostrils, followed by the sickening crunch of bones beneath Gage’s knuckles. All within a matter of seconds.

My heart pounded furiously at the mixed reactions from the crowd surrounding us. I wanted to slap Gage across the face. I wanted to ask him what the hell was he doing? This was not how I wanted my father to find out. My emotions were wavering from one extreme to the other. I couldn’t even bear looking over at him to see what his reaction was. Hushed and stunned silence followed Gage’s announcement.

“Gage,” I started, voice shaky with emotions. “What the hell are you doing?”

His fingers squeezed mine consolingly. “I’m tired of lying to everyone, Amber. It’s time to tell everyone that I’m in love with you.” Gage’s eyes threatened to burn holes into my own from the intensity of his own stare. “I don’t care what some of the people in this room are going to think of the both of us. Age is just a number to the both of us. I lost my wife to cancer. I watched her slip away from me every single day to that disease until she was no longer here. I didn’t think that I would be able to love someone ever again because I didn’t want to get close enough to love. I was afraid that I would lose someone that way again, and it terrified me beyond anything. That’s when you came into my life, Amber.” Tears filled my eyes as my heart swelled with love. “I’m not a religious man, but I can tell you that I believe that God brings people together for a reason. Even when we don’t see it, or don’t understand it, there is a reason why people are in our lives. I fell in love with your spirit this past year. You are a wonderful mother to not only Ethan, but to my child. And to our unborn baby. You’ve filled the hole in my heart that I thought would be empty for the rest of my life.”

Gage let go of my hand and pulled a small box from the pocket of his suit jacket. I could barely hear over the pounding of my heart as Gage looked up at me with a loving smile. He went down on one knee while opening the small black box to reveal a diamond ring.

“Amber Roselynn,” he said. “I was going to ask you this in Florida, but we were rudely interrupted there. Will you marry me?”

A series of whispers echoed in the conference room. I could barely see straight from the tears in my eyes and from the emotions heaving inside of me. I glanced around the room to see a mixed reaction of shock and disapproval, but I didn’t care. I no longer cared what the rest of the world thought.

I loved Gage Devlin. I didn’t want to live my life without him by my side.

“Yes,” I whispered, holding out a trembling hand for him. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Gage slipped the ring onto my finger with a happy grin. He stood up to gather me into his arms. Our lips met in a passionate kiss. An awkward and confused chorus of claps came, followed by a few cheers, but I paid little attention to it. We were together. That was all that counted in my eyes.

Christmas music started up suddenly. The crowd around us started to move again when I pulled back to smile happily down at the beautiful ring on my finger. It fit perfectly.

“I can’t believe you,” I said breathlessly. “You planned this whole entire thing tonight, didn’t you?”

“Not in this particular order,” Gage replied, shrugging with a grin. “I had planned it a bit differently, but I did have intentions of asking you to marry me tonight.”

“You’re sneaky.”

“Sneakier than I ever thought he was,” Beau said.

The sound of my father’s voice, tinged with confusion and anger, fell over the both of us. I turned to look at him, but I didn’t get a chance to say a word. He gestured stiffly for Gage and me to follow him out into the quiet and cold lobby, away from prying ears.

I grabbed Gage’s hand anxiously while a part of me squirmed happily knowing that I was free to do so now. We followed my father’s rigid shoulders through the crowd of people until the doors were closed behind us on the conference room. He turned to look Gage directly in the eye.

“This is my daughter,” he said, voice a deadly calm. “I asked you to look after her. To care for her as your own child. This is how you repay me?”

“Dad,” I started.

“It’s okay, Amber,” Gage said, not breaking eye contact with my father. “I understand where he is coming from. Just know, Beau, that I never meant to disrespect you. Amber and I never planned for this to happen. It happened without either one of us pushing it to happen. I love your daughter. I would never do anything to hurt her. You know who I am.”

My father couldn’t argue with that. I could see it on his face as he looked over at me. “And you, Amber? Do you love him?”

“More than anything in this world,” I said passionately. “He’s never mistreated me. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. This relationship and marriage is going to happen, no matter what. I just hope that you can give us both your blessing.”

Gage squeezed my hand with a small smile. I tried to read the expression on my father’s face, but it was pointedly guarded. He chewed on his lower lip for a moment before letting out a sigh.

“I can’t say that I didn’t have my suspicions that something was going on,” he said slowly. “I was just praying that it wasn’t what I thought it was. I guess it wasn’t, in a way.” He looked back at me with a frown. “I can’t say that I am happy that the both of you lied to me, but you are my daughter. I will support you in whatever you want to do.”

“This is what I want.” I gazed up at Gage with a smile. “I’ve wanted Gage for a while. I’ll be happy with him. He has protected and cared for me every single day that I’ve been with him.”

“You’ll need that once news of this is leaked. Expect the press to be all over you two, so I suggest leaving here while you still can.”

I hesitated as Gage signaled for our coats. “What about you? I can’t just leave here, knowing that you’re going to get hounded with questions.”

“I’ll be fine,” my father said, nodding at me. “I’ve handled things in the past just fine. Just make sure that my daughter is safe, Gage.”

“You know that I will,” Gage replied, helping me into my coat. “Come on, Amber. Your father is right. If we don’t leave now, the press will be all over us.”

My father nodded encouragingly as he pulled out his phone. “Go on. Listen to what your fiancé is saying. I’ll be in touch with you two tomorrow.”

I embraced my father tightly, pouring all my relief and appreciation into the touch. He hugged me back just as tightly.

The cold night air rushed to greet us the second that Gage opened the City Hall doors. I didn’t feel cold, though, as we both hurried down the stone steps in the direction of our parking spot. I was giddy with excitement as Gage helped me up into the truck, with a grin that spread from ear to ear.

“Are you ready, Mrs. Soon-to-be Devlin?” Gage asked, turning the truck on to blast us both with warm air. “I have a hotel room booked for us on the other side of Bozeman.”

I leaned across the center console to kiss him on the lips. “I’m ready, Mr. Devlin. I can’t believe this is happening now.”

“Soon or later, it had to happen. Everyone will eventually move on to accept our future together.”

“I hope so,” I replied, sitting back down in the seat to buckle myself in. “Let’s get out of here before the media shows up. I’m sure people are in there contacting various papers.”

“We will be long gone before they are even here, baby.”

Chapter 29

Gage

 

 

The hotel suite was decorated the way I had requested the night before. Rose petals were scattered all over the hotel suite when I pushed the door open to let Amber step inside. She took in the rose petals with a stunned smile as she passed by me with her boots in hand.

I made sure to lock the door after placing the “do not disturb” sign on the door knob. Reaching up to loosen the tie at my neck, I tossed the garment off to the side while I shrugged out of my jacket.

Wife.

The title felt right in my heart as I followed Amber through the hotel suite as she explored with a giddy smile. We were both floating, free of having to protect our relationship from the spotlight. It was out there now. It was one hundred percent out there for the world to take it as they would. Neither one of us cared any longer.

I waited until Amber stopped next to the king-sized bed to run her fingers through the rose petals with a smile. She looked up at me, eyes blazing with love and desire. I took two steps forward to wrap my arms around her growing waist firmly. Her belly bumped against me while our bodies pushed to be close as possible. Our mouths collided together in a passionate kiss that sent every ounce of my blood pouring into my groin.

I swept a hand through Amber’s hair to work it free of its messy bun before clutching the back of her head to deepen the kiss. Her mouth opened without a protest to tangle her tongue against mine in a battle of dominance. She tasted of fresh winter air, along with her vanilla chapstick lingering on the inside of her lips.

Her fingers tugged my shirt free from my belt and pants while I worked on the zipper of her dress. Buttons from my shirt popped in the air when Amber tugged at the fabric of my shirt in a groan of aggravation. I paid the favor back by tugging until I heard the fabric of her dress around the zipper tear in response to my own insistent fingers. I wanted her naked, squirming beneath me. I wanted her for the first time without any guilt and worry that someone would walk by hearing our lovemaking. Or worrying that someone was pushing a camera lens in our direction. There was something liberating about it. I felt free to enjoy the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

It didn’t take long for either one of us to shed our clothes into the abyss alongside the bed. My heart was threatening to burst from joy as I gazed down at her breasts, heavy from pregnancy, and the big belly that our daughter was growing in safely with each passing day. Her legs were fuzzy, unable to shave because of her stomach, and I chuckled in amusement when I ran my hands down her legs when she tried to jerk them back in embarrassment.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I don’t expect you to be perfectly smooth every single time. It doesn’t help that you can’t see your legs, or reach them, either.”

“It’s still embarrassing,” Amber said.

I took a couple of pillows from the bed to prop up behind Amber’s shoulders. She settled against them with a comfortable sigh. I took hold of her swollen ankles to rub them tenderly before trailing kisses up the inside of her leg to the core of her. A moan escaped Amber’s lips as her hips rolled to match the movements of my fingers and tongue. I kept going until I felt spasms rock Amber’s body a few minutes later. I went to slide between her legs, but Amber pushed me back to stretch out on the mattress beneath of her.

I groaned at the slick sensation of hot and tight heat when she lowered herself down on me with a trembling gasp. She rocked against me in an excruciatingly slow fashion that had the both of us writhing against one another. The pressure in my lower back began to build as I gripped Amber’s hips to increase the rhythm. Her head tilted back to reveal her swollen breasts as they bounced. Our fevered moans filled the room. I reached up to grip her breasts firmly, mindful of their soreness. That tipped Amber back over again in a second orgasm that milked me into my own.

She collapsed down to the mattress with her pregnant belly pressed up against the side of me. The completion of our passion never felt more right as it did right then. We no longer had to hide it from anyone.

“I can’t believe everything that happened today.” Amber panted against me, wrapping a leg around my thigh. She pressed her sated flesh up against mine. “I couldn’t believe you walked in there with a ring in your pocket.”

I shrugged with a breathless laugh. “Well, I was waiting for the right time. I didn’t think it was going to be tonight in all fairness.”

“And declaring your love in a room full of my dad’s constituents was the right time?”

“Probably not,” I said, reaching over to place the palm of my hand on her belly. The gentle shift of our daughter brought tears to my eyes. “I couldn’t stand it anymore, Amber. I didn’t want to risk losing you, so I just went with it.”

Amber reached down to place her hand over my own. “You weren’t going to lose me, Gage. I don’t know why you were thinking that.”

We both laid there quietly while our bodies cooled down, feeling the baby move about in Amber’s stomach. Eventually, Amber sat up with an exhausted sigh as she turned to look back at me with a frown.

“What do you think is going to happen now?” she asked quietly. “I mean, now that it’s all out. Do you think it’ll affect you and your business?”

I reached up to trace circles on Amber’s lower back. Her eyes fluttered shut in bliss at the gentle and soothing touch. The thought hadn’t occurred to me. I doubted that anyone would put my business and name together since I mainly stuck behind a computer screen.

“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “My company could weather it. I don’t deal with the general public, so I don’t think it would affect it too much. Maybe my contracts with your father at the moment.”

“There’s going to be press chasing after the both of us and our kids.”

“Maybe. We aren’t sure of that.”

“Not at first,” Amber said, and she opened her eyes. “They wouldn’t come directly for us at first. All the cameras will be focused on my dad to see how he is going to handle it. Then, they’ll come looking for us.”

“You sound like the media is on a witch hunt,” I remarked wryly. “Politicians survive drug and sex scandals all the time. This doesn’t even involve your father.”

That didn’t ease the concern in Amber’s eyes. She slid off the bed to find a fluffy white bathrobe in one of the closets to cinch around the top of her belly. I got up from the bed reluctantly to follow Amber out into the living room where she checked her phone for any messages.

“Nothing so far,” Amber said. “No messages from Raychelle, either. The kids must’ve gone down without any issues tonight.”

“Hey,” I said, gently gathering her back up in my arms. “Don’t worry so much about everything. The truth is out there. The world is going to keep turning, no matter what people say to you, about you, or me, and our families. Your father gave us his blessing.”

“I know that,” she murmured, resting her head against my chest with a sigh. “I’m just worried about him, you know?”

“Your father is charismatic. He can get through any type of scandal that you throw at him. It’s a bit scary actually, when I think about it.”

Amber let out a snort of laughter. “It really is scary when you think about it. We always tell him that he got involved on the wrong side of the government, but he wanted to run for Congress. He’s probably impressed that we both hid this from him.”

“You are your father’s daughter, so it shouldn’t surprise him,” I said. “Try not to worry about it tonight, okay? We will deal with whatever is coming to us tomorrow.”

“Sounds fair.” She tilted her head back to look up at me with a smile. “We need to set a date, too. What’s your ideal wedding day?”

“Late Fall,” I replied, pecking her on the lips with a light kiss. “Something small. I don’t want hundreds of people there to make it awkward.”

“A late Fall and small wedding. Sounds good to me.”

Epilogue

Amber

 

 

A heavy snowfall came down early Christmas morning when Gage and I rose early to place presents from Santa under the tree for the kids to open up. While a fresh pot of coffee brewed, Gage and I snuck up to our bedroom for one more romp between the sheets. A Christmas present that had the both of us muffling our moans of pleasure. It was enough to have me thrashing against Gage in pleasure.

We dressed in the pale morning light and headed downstairs to enjoy a cup of coffee before the chaos started of kids ripping into presents. I watched from the top of my coffee cup as Gage double-checked the presents with an excited smile. I believed he was more excited about this Christmas than the kids were, judging from the presents he had spent the past two weeks picking out for Ethan, Lily, and Mollie.

My hand rested on the swell of my stomach with a smile. Any day now. I only had a week of pregnancy left before our little Mollie would join our family. We had already rehearsed several different scenarios over the past week. Lily and Ethan would go to Raychelle’s house, no matter what time of day or night it was. I’d let my parents know, too, so they could venture down to the hospital when they could from D.C.

And we set a secret password for family members.

True to Scott’s threat, he had released the photos to the press shortly after Gage’s proposal. A media firestorm followed shortly afterward, with cameras following my father’s every move. He handled it all with grace, though. There was nothing it seemed, that could rattle my father’s reputation despite the scandal the press twisted it out to be. I had also filed for divorce again, requesting the same settlement. My lawyer assured me that a settlement would be reached quickly before my marriage to Gage.

Scott’s threats were now empty. He had nothing left to hold over my head. I never felt freer than I did going to the mall, hand in hand with Gage to get Christmas presents for the kids.

A sharp pain shot through my lower back suddenly. I grimaced at the feeling as I set my coffee cup down on the kitchen counter. It lasted for thirty seconds before lifting up.

“Is everything okay?”

I looked up at Gage with a frown tugging at my lips. “I think so. I just didn’t feel well, all of a sudden.”

“You feel ill?” Gage appeared instantly at my side, rubbing his hands along my shoulders. “Is it passing now?”

“It is now.”

“Good,” he said, and took my hand in his. “I have something to show you up in the nursery that I brought in when you were sleeping last night.”

I rubbed at the soreness of my lower back while I followed Gage up the stairs to the nursey room. We had painted the walls a dusty pink color while Lily and Ethan both placed wall stickers throughout the room. He opened the bedroom door to click the light on.

My eyes watered instantly at the sight of a brand-new crib sitting in the corner where I had wanted to place it. A bright pink bow was stuck to the front crib bumper.

“Where did you get this crib?” I asked, voice trembling with emotion. “Is this why you canceled the one I ordered earlier?”

“I made it,” Gage said proudly. He ran a hand over the smooth wood with a smile. “That’s exactly why I canceled the order. I wanted to surprise you with this.”

“It’s wonderful, Gage. I love it.”

That same sharp pain shot through my back again. I doubled over with a gasp, holding my stomach in pain. One. Two. Three. I counted the seconds that went by with clenched teeth, while Gage rubbed at my lower back in concern.

“It’s time,” I gritted out. “I can feel it, Gage. Contractions.”

Gage’s eyes widened as he helped me walk down to our bedroom. He set me down on the edge of the bed before grabbing the bag we had packed a few days ago.

“Stay here,” he said hurriedly. “I’m going to call Raychelle to come watch the kids.”

I nodded distantly as another stab of pain went through my back. Sucking in a deep breath, I tried to focus on making sure that the bag was packed properly. I had never felt more relieved to see Raychelle when she entered the house, still dressed in her sweats and bathrobe.

“I’ll watch the kids,” she said, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “I’ll bring them by the hospital later to see the baby.”

The next few hours passed by in a surreal blur of pain and pushing from the encouragements of the nurses and Gage. It wasn’t until the sharp and shrill sound of a baby crying that I sank back against the hospital pillows in relief.

Gage pressed a kiss against my sweaty forehead. Tears were visible in his eyes as he looked down at me with fierce pride.

“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered, pushing my hair back from my forehead. “You did wonderful.”

“Beautiful baby girl,” a nurse told us. “Seven pounds even. She’s got the prettiest green eyes I have ever seen.”

The nurse approached us with a smile. I sat up in the hospital bed to hold out my arms for my daughter. For our daughter. The beautiful weight of Mollie settled perfectly into the crook of my elbow. I adjusted the pink blanket around her tiny and squirming body with a smile before looking up at Gage who was wiping his eyes free of tears.

“She’s beautiful,” I whispered, tracing her little, soft cheek. She had to be the most beautiful thing in our lives. “You are a beautiful Christmas present, baby girl.”

“The best Christmas present yet,” Gage added with a smile. “I love you both. More than you will ever know.”

He scooped up Mollie into his arms with a smile. I leaned back against the pillows, watching as the morning sunlight shimmered around the both of them. For as chaotic as the world was around us, I’d never felt more peaceful than with our newborn cradled securely in the crook of her father’s arm. Never felt more peaceful in my entire life.