Chapter 9

Liza

 

 

“Thank you so much for watching her, Vanessa. Thankfully, we only have to do this one year. I didn’t realize there would be such a difference in the calendars between preschool and regular school,” I said, hastily thrusting Ainsley’s backpack at her.

“It’s fine. You know I love having Ainsley over. She’ll keep me entertained. I like having her around,” she said with a smile.

“I still can’t believe they don’t start back until Wednesday. What kind of crap is that?” I muttered.

She laughed, “Don’t worry about it, really.”

“As a teacher, I think it is just stupid for school to start mid-week. You can’t really get anything done in three days.”

“I agree, but your daughter is in a very fancy preschool. The parents had vacations to Denver and the like. They needed a full week, not just a few days like us peasants,” she joked.

“Thank you, again. I’ve got to run or I’m going to be late. Never good when the teacher is late,” I joked.

I rushed out the door and jumped in my car to drive across town. The school I taught at was not exactly in the best area, but I liked knowing I was really making a difference. Ainsley had all the perks and benefits of having a wealthy grandpa who insisted she went to one of the best private preschools in the city. It was the first step toward getting into the exclusive elementary schoolhe had planned for her to attend.

For the past three days, I had been a nervous wreck, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I had seen Milo in my rearview mirror on Thanksgiving. I had a horrible suspicion he had figured it out. He a stricken expression on his face, and I knew it wasn’t the food.

Dad hadn’t said a word about anything, so I assumed my secret was safe. I couldn’t imagine how that conversation would have gone. What would Milo say? He damn sure wouldn’t come right out and ask if Ainsley was his. Would he?

I whipped into the teacher’s parking lot, grabbed my bag and rushed inside. I waved to the secretaries at the front desk, flashed my badge at the security guards and headed down the hall to my classroom.

“Hello, everyone!” I said, breezing into the classroom.

I didn’t dare ask how anyone’s holiday was. I knew most of these kids were living in dire situations. Some didn’t have homes at all. Others were in homes that were not safe. It was extremely difficult not to take them all home with me at night.

“Who’s got the playlist today?” I asked.

One of my young students raised his hand and brought me his phone. Yes, a phone. These kids didn’t have great homes or a full pantry, but every one of them had a phone.

“Thank you, Brayden. I’ll review this and we’ll play it later. Everyone, get your math books out and let’s get started.”

There was a lot of groaning. I hated breaks. It always threw everyone off their game, including myself. Keeping fifth graders enthused about math wasn’t easy. It was harder after a break when the routine had been broken.

“Okay, okay, let me give this playlist a quick listen and we’ll go that route,” I sighed.

There was a cacophony of cheers as the students relaxed a bit.

I grabbed my headphones out of my purse and plugged them into the device. Most of the songs were typical of the popular Top 40 stuff. I deleted a couple of songs that had some questionable lyrics and bad language and declared it was appropriate for the classroom.

“Okay, guys! Let’s rock!”

I plugged the auxiliary cord into the phone and turned up the music. My methods were different, but I found music to be very effective. The principal warned me about the music being too loud and too distracting, but I knew she was wrong. I had seen first-hand how much easier it was for the kids to do their math with some noise in the background.

“I want everyone to do the problems on page sixty-eight,” I instructed.

It was easier to do a little review than try to teach new concepts the day after a break. Another lesson learned the hard way.

I was a great teacher. I knew that. I had worked hard and been responsible all my life. My one night of freedom from my inner drill sergeant had resulted in Ainsley. I would never regret having my daughter. I regretted she didn’t get to have a daddy around, but it wasn’t all that unheard of these days. I had a beautiful life, and I refused to let one very sexy quarterback ruin it all.

I had prepared for this day, just in case. I had always known that it was possible for my secret to be exposed.

Once my last class for the day was out, I was the one breathing a sigh of relief.

“Bye, everyone! See you tomorrow!”

At least I hoped I would see them all tomorrow. In this day and age, one never knew. Last year, one of my students had been killed in a drive-by shooting. It wasn’t until the moment I heard the news and could put a face to the victim that I realized how rough life was for my students. It made me work harder. I wanted them to get an education and get the hell out of where they lived. I loved teaching. I remembered the moment I found out I was pregnant. Despite the overwhelming fear and terror at becoming a mother, I suddenly felt this crazy protective fire down in my soul. I wanted to protect all kids.

I made it out of the school and quickly rushed to Vanessa’s house.

“Hi! How was she?” I asked, hoping Ainsley had been on her best behavior. She was a spunky kid and could be a handful.

“She was fine. You know I love her.”

“Thank you. You are truly a godsend.”

I managed to corral Ainsley and get her into the car. The drive home was filled with chatter from Ainsley, telling me about everything she had done during the day and making sure to point out what she didn’t like, including not being able to have seconds on ice cream.

Once home, she thankfully settled down in her room to play with her dolls. That gave me time to pull out the envelope I had hidden in the bottom drawer of my desk. I had a stack of bills on top just in case anyone happened to do any snooping around.

I pulled them out, took a deep breath and opened the envelope. The legal papers were all in order. All I needed was Milo to sign. To get him to sign, I would have to admit the child was his. It would mean I had to actually see him and talk to him.

I put my hands in my hair and rubbed my head.

“What’s wrong, Mom? Do you have a headache?”

I smiled. “A little one. I’m going to make dinner. What do you vote for?”

“Ice cream!”

“No, ice cream. How about hamburgers?”

She wrinkled her nose. “We had hamburgers for lunch.”

“Oh, okay, how about meatloaf?”

That made her eyes light up. “Yes!”

“Alright, meatloaf it is.”

She bounced out to the living room, and I could hear the television. I returned my focus to the paperwork in front of me.

Would he sign? I couldn’t imagine him actually putting up a fight. What playboy quarterback would want to be responsible for a kid?

A thought occurred to me. He was probably panicking over child support. I didn’t want a penny from that man. I didn’t need it. I quickly reviewed the paperwork, making double sure it was stipulated that no child support would be paid. All he had to do was sign away his parental rights and keep his mouth shut. No harm, no foul.

Now I just had to get him to go for it. I put the paperwork back in the envelope and stashed it back in its safe spot before heading into the kitchen to start dinner. I watched Ainsley as she danced along to the show she was watching. Her red hair was bouncing as she danced.

“Mom, I want a dog,” she said out of nowhere.

“Ainsley, I don’t think that’s a good idea. We live in an apartment. The dog wouldn’t have anywhere to run,” I explained for what was probably the hundredth time.

“Mom,” she whined.

“Ainsley,” I shot back.

She growled and went back to bouncing around the living room. I didn’t know Milo all that well, but I had a feeling her personality came from him. She wasn’t just stubborn. She was very confident and wasn’t afraid to tell anyone exactly how she felt. It was her biggest downfall and one of the things I admired most about her. I had always been shy and willing to accept whatever I was told. Not my daughter. No one was going to keep her down.

Thankfully, she settled in, and I was able to get busy on dinner.

 

“Time to eat!” I called from the kitchen.

Hungry as always, she came right in, plopped down, and we ate our dinner together. It had always been the two of us. I couldn’t imagine sharing her with anyone else. It was Ainsley and me. I didn’t want to worry about what holidays I would get her or involving anyone else in the decision-making process when it came to choosing schools or what doctors she went to. Ainsley was mine. I knew her best, and I knew what was best for her.

Aware I was being selfish, I didn’t care. I had put in the time. I was the one who had dealt with the first ear infection and helped her learn to walk. I was the one who had to put up with the child during the terrible twos and the horrific threes. I deserved to have her all to myself. If Milo refused to sign the papers and tried to come after me for custody, I would fight him tooth and nail. I had a feeling my dad would also step in.

“Why are you smiling?” Ainsley asked.

I hadn’t even realized I was smiling. “Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about Papa.”

“What about him?”

I grinned. “I was thinking about how much he loves you and me, and how much he would do for us.”

She didn’t look all that impressed by my words. One day she would. Then another thought struck me. Ainsley would never know the love of a father. Oh my God. What was I taking from her? Tears sprang to my eyes as I thought about my relationship with my father. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. How could I deny my own daughter that same love? What was I doing?

“Are you sure you’re okay, Mommy? You look like you are going to cry. Is something wrong?”

I shook my head, blinked a few times and wiped my face. “I’m fine. I was just thinking of something sad. I’m okay.”

We went through the rest of our evening routine with me telling her it was time for a bath, and her arguing. The same thing at bedtime—she fought against it and I pushed back until I prevailed. Same old dance every night. Once I finally had her tucked in, I treated myself to a glass of wine.

Leaning back on the couch, I sipped the wine, my mind a mess. My life had been going along so perfectly, until my dad just had to have Milo on his team. Now, everything I loved and held dear was being threatened.

I had to find a way to get Milo to agree to my terms. I couldn’t let him waltz into my life and destroy everything. My father would be so disappointed to learn what I had done. I’d always told him Ainsley’s father had been a boyfriend in college who wanted nothing to do with Ainsley. It was kind of true, except for the part about the boyfriend bit. I was not about to admit to my father that Ainsley was the product of a one-night-stand.

Dammit. Why Milo?