TWENTY-THREE
At the sound of an approaching engine, Jess stepped out of the Tahoe and looked up. She watched as Kayne’s truck pulled into the bay and parked. Joe opened the passenger door and stepped out. “Hey, gorgeous, miss me?” He winked.
Jess laughed. “Like a sore tooth.” She adored Joe, always had. They’d been friends since his first day at Payson High School, when they were just sixteen. Though he’d been nearly as big then as he was now, he’d seemed heartbreakingly lost. She knew something had happened, but to this day he’d never talked about it. It was as if his life before Payson had never existed.
He cocked his head and studied her thoughtfully for a moment. “You can’t dwell on the past sweetheart, it will eat you alive.”
Jess jumped at his words. After all this time, she should be used to them. He’d always had the uncanny ability to read people as if he had direct access to their thoughts.
He opened the back door, and out spilled three magpies disguised as little girls, all chattering at once.
“We canoed. In a boat!” Tiffany bounced excitedly
“We climbed up a mountain!” Isabelle chimed in.
“We repelled off a cliff!” Maddy added.
“We had s’mores!” They chorused.
With that, they headed toward the house, pulling Ash and Gracie along with them.
Kayne inhaled deeply and slowly let it out. “Ah, silence!” He shut the driver’s door and rounded the front of the truck.
Joe laughed. “I think I’m permanently deaf from all the screaming.”
Kayne pulled Jess close and wrapped his arms around her. “So, did’ya miss me?” he asked softly.
“Of course not,” she huffed. Some emotion crossed his face but was gone before she could identify it, replaced by a knowing smile.
He leaned in and whispered in her ear. “You sure?”
His hot breath sent a delicious shiver through her body. Blushing, Jess planted both palms against his chest and shoved, though not hard.
He laughed in response, the sound dark and dangerous, but he didn’t let her go. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
“Smug bastard”
Eyes dancing with laughter, Kayne tucked her into his side and brushed his lips across her temple, the gesture surprising, yet familiar at the same time. Her face on fire, Jess looked at Joe. She’d been mortified when she walked out of the utility room to see not only Cody but Joe standing there as well.
Joe simply winked at her.
“So uh, where’s Cody?”
Kayne’s eyes narrowed slightly as he studied her face. “Worried we left him in the wilderness?”
Joe laughed. “Nah, she’s trying to decide if she should call a defense attorney for us or start packing to move to some non-extraditable country.”
That’s exactly what she’d been thinking. Jess huffed in exasperation. “I hate it when you do that!”
“You’re too easy to read. Everything you’re thinking is right there in your eyes, if someone takes the time to look.”
“We dropped him off at his truck. He had a thoroughly miserable time.” Kayne shared a meaningful look with Joe, both far too pleased about that.
Jess didn’t want to know. Plausible deniability, and all that.
With a kiss on her cheek and a fist bump to Kayne, Joe bid them goodbye, grabbed his gear, and left.
***
Jess was in the kitchen cutting vegetables when Kayne walked in a while later. He’d volunteered to put the kids to bed, and she’d happily let him. “Hey, baby, how about after I take a shower, we snuggle up and watch a movie?”
Jess bit her bottom lip. “Umm, sure.”
Kayne cocked his head thoughtfully. “Did you have something you need to do? I'd be happy to help when I'm done.”
No, the stuff she needed to do he couldn’t help with. But she couldn’t tell him that either.
Before she could think of something to say, Kayne stepped closer and whispered, “Or, you could come help me.” He nuzzled her neck, traced her ear lobe with the tip of his nose. “I know how to be very dirty with a wash cloth and soap.”
Jess gave a nervous laugh but didn't move away. In fact she felt paralyzed. He was so much man. So alpha-male. Dark, dangerous. Sexy. He was worldly and adventurous, and so out of her league. But oh how she loved the things he did to her.
Kayne proceeded to described in vivid detail what he would do to her in the shower. By the time he was done talking, her breathing was shallow and her panties wet. How the hell could he do that to her with just his voice?
Even as Kayne took her hand, pulling her along as he walked backward, he whispered, “Come,” and Oh, God, she wanted to. The thoroughly male smile of satisfaction that he was getting his way quickly died when she reached out a bold hand and cupped him through his jeans.
“Shower. Baby, I need a shower, first. I smell like lake water and sweat.”
“You smell like heat, and sex, and man. The shower can wait. I want you inside me. Now.” For a fleeting moment, she wondered if things could have been different with Jarred, if she'd just tried harder. But she quickly pushed the thought away. It was disloyal to both Jarred and Kayne to be thinking of him at a time like this.
Jess turned, tugging Kayne into the closest unoccupied room, the library. The moment the door lock clicked into place, they began stripping each other of their clothes. And then he was taking her to the ground, right there on the plush carpet amid the smell of old books and wood polish. His hands were everywhere. He sucked and stroked and kissed until she was right on the edge, and then he entered her, hard and fast, the feeling so gloriously consuming that her emotions threatened to spill over. She quickly closed her eyes.
But then he stilled and commanded, “Look at me, baby.”
Jess hesitantly opened her eyes, fighting back tears she didn't understand.
“Okay?” He studied her face intently.
Unable to put names to the emotions swirling within her, she simply nodded and pulled his mouth down to hers, letting the feelings free in the only way she knew how. Though she tried to encourage him to move, he remained still, devouring her with his lips.
“Kayne, please! Move!”
Which he did, but suddenly she was on top, looking down into eyes as dark and passionate as a summer storm. Déjà vu struck hard. She’d done this before. Straddling him like this, her hands on his chest, staring into his storm-tossed gray eyes like she had in that dream so very long ago. She swallowed against the lump of emotion threatening to choke her. “I don't know what to do.” She was pretty sure the statement encompassed far more than sex.
His brow furrowed in confusion. “What?”
She motioned between them. “I've never...”
Kayne jackknifed up, taking her in his arms, even as his mouth came down on hers. He nipped at her bottom lip one last time and pulled back to look in her eyes. His gaze searched hers. “I like that I'm your first…for this.”
Jess looked away, unable to hold his gaze. “You're my first for a lot of things.”
“Explain.” His voice was commanding yet gentle.
“I've never...I couldn’t…not while.” Jess stammered as she motioned to where their bodies were still joined.
Kayne captured her chin between curled finger and thumb, forcing her to look at him. “You never came during intercourse?”
“No. Not before you. I’ve never had sex any place other than in bed before either.”
Kayne's growl was low and deep, full of possessive satisfaction.
“Everything is new with you,” she added softly. “Better.”
Anything else she might have added was forgotten when he kissed her.
***
After a long shower and several hours of sleep, Kayne woke up to an empty bed. He reached over only to feel Jess’s side of the sheets cool to the touch. His heart did a slow roll and dipped into his stomach. Where the hell was she? It was well after midnight, and damn it, he wanted her by his side. He'd never been like this before. Never felt this overwhelming urge to possess someone. To claim them, body and soul.
He felt as though time was running out, and when it did, he'd have nothing but memories of this time with her. God, he couldn't go through that again. Everything was different with Jess. Everything was...more, and that scared the ever-living shit out of him, because it defied logic.
While Kayne didn't love Jess, wouldn't let himself love her, he still felt things for her that he’d never felt for anyone before, and he was certain he would never feel for anyone else. He quite simply couldn’t explain the gut feeling that said that this precious life he was living in was set to blow up around him, and he knew to the very soul of his being, that if he lost Jessica, it would raze him to the ground. He wouldn’t survive a second time. Not without her.
With those dark thoughts parading through his mind, his heartbeat an accompanying drum, Kayne threw the covers back and pulled on his shorts. He needed her in his arms. He'd worry about analyzing his feelings later.
He found her in the laundry room, sorting clothes. “What are you doing, baby?”
Jess started at the sound of his voice. “I thought you were asleep.” She glanced over her shoulder at the laptop computer on the counter before looking back to him.
Wondering what she looked so guilty about, Kayne leaned against the doorjamb, crossed his arms over his chest. “I woke up, and you weren't there.”
Jess motioned to the pile of laundry, but then asked, “Did you guys come home for any reason? I forgot to mention the alarm wasn't set when we came home tonight, but I thought for sure I set it when I left Friday.”
“Everything was okay?” He walked to the wall monitor and keyed in his code to access the history, but stopped when she spoke again.
“Yeah, everything looked fine. I must have had a brain freeze and forgot to turn it on in my hurry to get out the door Friday night.” Jess shrugged.
Kayne let thoughts of the alarm go. She knew how it worked far better than he did. “Come back to bed, baby.” He held out his hand to her.
Jess shook her head, took a step back. “I can't. If I don't get this done now, it won't happen. I'm so far behind.”
Damn it! “You need to let me know what you need help with around here, Jessica.” He tried to keep the anger out of his voice. He captured her hands and pulled her close. “I want to help you. We’re supposed to be a team. Let me help.”
Jess studied him for a moment as if she was weighing his words, then she shook her head. “Kayne, I'm really OCD about the laundry. I check every article of clothing before it goes into the washer for stains, rips and tears, toys, crayons, live animals—”
He barked out a laugh. “Live animals?” He was sure she had to be kidding, but she'd said it with such a straight face.
Jess bobbed her head, her eyes full of laughter. “Ash forgot he'd put a garter snake in his cargo pocket once.”
He leaned his back against the wall, pulling her into the V of his legs. “You're kidding, right?”
“I wish I was.” She chuckled, shaking her head, obviously remembering the incident.
He ran his hands up and down her bare arms. He just had to touch her. “What did you do?”
Jess shuddered. He wasn’t sure if it was because of him, or her memories. “Screamed. Contemplated doing it in for biting me. Then I realized it wasn't poisonous, so I captured it in one of the pollywog nets and set it free.”
Kayne laughed. “Oksana would have been on top of the washer, screaming for help until someone showed up, no matter how long it took.”
Jess’s smile faded at the mention of his first wife. “I used to be that way too, especially over spiders. I hate spiders. I learned it doesn't do you any good, when there's no one around to help anymore.” She gave him a weak smile. “You just have to learn to be both parents and do everything yourself. Let me tell you, there have been some huge, huge spiders around here. May they rest in peace.”
Kayne laughed over the solemn tone in her voice. He cupped her face and kissed her forehead, the action so natural. So right.
Jess reached up and caressed his jaw, running her hand against the grain of his stubble. “I'm also not a fan of insects or frogs, but I've found myself knee-deep in mud, hunting polliwogs and crawdads, and capturing insects for school projects.”
Kayne ducked his head and made eye contact. “I know what you mean, Jessica. I felt like a single parent for most of my first marriage. I did all of the cooking and cleaning and most of the laundry. But it was worth it, you know, because of the kids.”
She laid her hand over his heart. “I know you were a great dad to them. I see proof of it every day with our kids.”
Kayne didn't want her praise, because he hadn't been a great father. He'd failed his children when they'd needed him most. “Move it Malen’kaya.” He gently set her aside.
A look of confusion, and perhaps disappointment crossed her face. “What does that mean?”
It means I can’t talk about them, Jess! “It means I'm going to show you I know how to do laundry correctly. I even read labels.”
“No, the words.”
“Oh, it's little-one in Russian.” He gave her his best unrepentant smile.
“Of course it is,” she sighed.
Kayne started picking up and tossing jeans into one of the two washers. He carefully patted pockets for reptiles before sticking his hands inside. “So what’s up with the laptop?” Kayne motioned toward it with his chin. It was turned to where he couldn't see the screen, but the way she'd looked at it told him she didn't want him to see whatever was on it.
“I was checking lists and making new ones. Writing down a note about this strange guy I met today. Uh, yesterday now, I guess.” She met his gaze steadily. Okay, so she was telling the truth.
“Would you like some music?” She crossed to the computer, not waiting for a reply.
That got his attention, because she quickly closed out all the programs she had open and started the music player. But there was something else that was more pressing. “What made him strange?”
“Ash and I went to the water park, and they have one of those big wave pools with lifeguards and sand. I was sitting on the beach watching Ash boogie board.”
Yeah, he'd noticed the tan lines. It had been a pretty skimpy bikini she'd had on, and he hated that he'd missed it.
“I laid down, figuring I'd get Ash to put sun block on my back next time he came out of the wave pool.” She shrugged. “But this buff, mercenary-looking guy with a heavy Eastern European accent walked up and started talking to me. He offered to put lotion on my back.” Jess laughed, like the thought was ridiculous that he’d offer. “I told him ‘no thanks.’”
Did she truly not realize how heartbreakingly lovely she was? Kayne closed the washer door. “Did the guy take the hint?
Jess hopped up on the counter and leaned back against the wall while she folded a pile of towels. “Of course not. He sat down and tried to strike up a conversation, asked about my kids. When he pulled off his shirt, he was covered in scars and tattoos. And we’re talking knife and bullet-type holes, and prison tats.”
“You like tattoos?”
“Not really my thing. Though I do like the one you have.”
Kayne grinned over his shoulder. “Noticed that, did you?” He turned back and started tossing whites into the other washer.
Jess shrugged. “You were sleeping facedown. I covered you up before I left the bedroom.”
Now why the hell did that make his heart clinch? God, he was pathetic. “My brothers and I got those tats the year David—the oldest—and I went off to college. He’s only a couple months older than me. Our mom would have killed us for letting the younger two get them. They were 16 and 14 at the time. So, we figured if it was on our ass she’d never know.” They’d chosen the compass because their father had one. He’d told them it reminded him that no matter where he was he could always go home. But Kayne couldn’t go home. Hell he hadn’t even called his family more than once or twice over the past two years. They’d always had to call him, and he’d avoided the calls when he could because, with six other kids someone was always pregnant, or had just had a baby, and it was just too painful to know that their lives carried on when his had stopped.
Until Jess.
Jess laughed, oblivious to his bittersweet memories. “I can’t wait to meet your mother.” She sobered quickly and looked away.
Kayne stopped what he was doing and crossed to her. “I can’t wait for you to meet her either. She’s going to adore you, Jess.” And he meant it. His mom would love Jessica.
Jess leaned forward and kissed him gently. “Thank you.”
Kayne was afraid to ask what she was thanking him for. He wasn’t sure he was ready to know. There was a look in her eyes that his gut told him not to examine too closely.
Kayne cleared the lump from his throat. “So how’d you get rid of the guy?”
She fumbled with something, then lifted her hand and wiggled her fingers, showing off her old wedding band, the one Jarred had given her, before switching it back to her right hand. “I held up my hand and said my very large, very handsome, irrationally jealous husband carries a badge and a firearm, and he wouldn’t like your hands all over me. He left after that.”
Damn it! Just because they’d had a shotgun wedding was no excuse for him to not get her a ring. How thoughtless could he be?
Kayne gave her a wicked grin. “So, you think I'm handsome, huh?”
Jess’s mouth popped open in surprise. “That's what you got out of that story?” she asked with no small amount of indignation.
“No, I also got that some asshole was hitting on my wife,” Kayne growled. Jess was surprised by Kayne’s reaction. “You've got to know I, of all people, would never be unfaithful,” she said quietly.
She flinched when Kayne closed the second washer door with a little more force than necessary.
“Baby, I never thought that for even a moment. Just seeing those skimpy little tan lines earlier, and knowing he got to see all that luscious skin, tried to get his hands all over it—”
Jess leaned forward, staring at him in utter disbelief. “You're jealous?” Holy crap!
He took a step back like she’d punched him. “Hell no! I don't do jealous.”
“Wow.” She felt the uncontrollable smile spread across her face. “I think I like that.”
“Yeah, well don't get used to it,” he grumbled.
Right, because this was only temporary.
Kayne realized he’d somehow offended Jess, which was the last thing he’d wanted to do. He wanted to spend time with her, just the two of them, even if it wasn't in bed. There was so much about Jess he didn't know, and he realized he wanted to know it. He wanted to be her friend, for her to trust him, lean on him. Damnit, he wanted to make this work.
Kayne leaned against the counter and picked up a towel. “So the guy—why were you making notes about him?” he asked casually.
“I was trying to think of a way to work him into a bedtime story for Ash. Obviously not as the scary tattoo guy, but maybe a commander of some great army?” Jess shrugged.
“I don’t understand. Are you talking about the bedtime stories you tell the kids each night? Aren’t those just ones you’ve read so many times you have them memorized?”
“No, they're ones I made up for the kids or with the kids’ help. There are lots, but the kids have favorites. You've heard me tell them. Isabelle’s the Littlest Firefly, Ash's The Mouse Knights Tail, Gracie's...well you get the picture. All of them have one.”
“I had no idea.” How amazing that she'd actually created such a legacy for her children. “So you have them all written down?”
Jess laughed and shook her head. “Nope, we’ve just memorized them.”
Holy Mother's Day! He had an idea. Kayne had been thinking all week of a way to ensure Jess had a very special day, and he was pretty sure he'd just found it. Now all he had to do was make it happen.
***
Jess sat the last pile of folded clothes in a basket and sighed.
“Finally.” Kayne leaned in until his lips were just a whisper from Jessica’s. “What else do you need to get done before I can take you back to bed?”
“Nothing,” she mumbled against his lips.
He pulled back slightly, cocked one eyebrow. “What about the party?”
Jess fiddled with the hem of her tank-top. “I’ll throw out some chips and dips and drinks.”
He obviously didn't believe her and proved it when he leaned in close and drawled out, “Look me in the eye...and tell me you aren't going to be in that kitchen as soon as you've gotten rid of me, preparing for tomorrow.”
“Which eye?” Jess covered first one then the other, trying to distract him.
“Jessica...” he warned, even as the corner of his mouth twitched.
Jess crossed her heart. “I swear I have nothing to get ready for tomorrow.” Semantics, because it was already Sunday, and tomorrow would be Monday.
“Jessica...” he whispered again, and leaned in to kiss her. He wasn't buying her story. He knew she was up to something, damn him.
“Ewwww. Gross.”
Kayne jerked upright at the sound of Ash's voice and slammed the back of his head into the overhead cabinet in the process.
Jess gasped, feeling the heat of embarrassment rush to her face. She'd just been caught making out with a guy, by her son. Hello! He’s your husband! And you've done a hell of a lot more than kiss him!
“Ash, why aren't you in bed?” Jess tried to shove Kayne's hand out of the way so she could make sure his scalp wasn't bleeding.
“Ouch!” Kayne hissed when she poked at a lump forming on the back of his head.
“There's a monster outside my window.” Ash squeezed his teddy bear tight.
“What do you mean, a monster?” Kayne stilled Jess's hands. His body went rigid, on full alert.
Ash crossed his heart. “Honest. It was walking across the balcony. It was huge.”
“Show me.” Kayne held his hand out to Ash, thoughts of the goose egg all but forgotten. Reason told him it was nothing, that he was sure Ash had seen a night shadow and gotten confused. However, the past still haunted him, and he would not dismiss a potential threat to his family.
They made their way toward Ash's room, Jess at his side. Once there, Kayne searched the room and the balcony. There were no signs of anyone or anything, however, the wind was blowing in heavy gusts. So Kayne turned out the lights and lay down beside Ash, and they watched out the window for several long moments until the tree did exactly what Kayne expected. It blew in front of a distant light, casting a shadow across Ash's window.
“There. See it's just the wind.” Kayne hugged him a little tighter, remembering a very similar conversation with Niki. He quickly pushed the memory away before it had a chance to fully form. He wasn’t ready to pull them out and deal with them. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
Ash burrowed into Kayne’s side. “Can I sleep with you?”
“How about Mama or I stay here with you until you fall asleep?”
“You.” Ash yawned.