SEVENTEEN
“Where should I put my things?” Kayne looked expectantly at Jess. Word had spread—courtesy of Judge Johnson, she was sure—and within half an hour, Kayne's house had been descended upon by locusts...er friends. They'd come in trucks bearing boxes, tape, markers, and stacks of old newspapers. It had taken less than an hour to have Kayne packed and ready to move.
Now he wanted to know where to put everything. How was she to answer? Was he expecting to move into the master bedroom with her? Their conversation had been stilted since they left the courthouse, since Cody's blow up. To say he hadn’t taken it well was the understatement of the year.
Now she stood in her house, feeling as though she were talking to a stranger. It was as if the weeks prior to discovering Gracie's true identity had never happened. Of course it had all been a lie. Kayne’s only intent had been to discover who Gracie really was. Well, he'd succeeded in that.
“Wherever you want, Kayne. I'm going to change.” She finally answered before walking away.
“Take your time, we've got it,” he called after her.
She didn't bother acknowledging. Of course he didn't need her around; he now had everything he wanted.
Jess had finished changing and walked out of the bathroom when the first person carried a box marked clothes into the bedroom. Apparently, Kayne was moving into her bedroom. Jess showed them which closet Kayne would be using—the one that still held boxes of Jarred's clothes. She should have gotten rid of them when they moved into the new house last year, but she couldn't seem to let go of the past, and she didn't understand why. It wasn’t like there was anything worth holding on to. Hell, Jarred had planned to leave her.
She quickly shoved the thoughts away. She couldn't deal with any more today.
What had taken an hour to pack took fifteen minutes to unload with so many people helping. Not wanting to interrupt Kayne after Polly explained he was in the playroom with Gracie and Isabelle, Jess bid the volunteers goodbye and thanked them on his behalf.
“Jess, you should have seen it.” Polly wiped her eyes. “He all but cried when he dropped to his knees and took Gracie in his arms. And then he did the same to Isabelle. Both girls were hugging and kissing on him, so happy to see him.”
Got guilt?
Honestly, Jess was surprised Kayne had said two civil words to her—she’d done everything in her power to keep him away from Gracie. He would have been justified in never letting Jess or the kids see her again, given the way Jess had treated him this past week. So why had he agreed to this crazy marriage? It made no sense.
Jess bid Del and Polly goodbye, promising to call if she needed anything. Not ready to face Kayne, she returned to her room—their room, she mentally corrected—and began moving the boxes of Jarred's clothes into her closet. She’d call someone to pick them up, not today, but soon.
She did however remove the engagement ring Jarred had given her and switched her wedding band to her right hand. While they hadn't had rings today—hadn't actually spoken any vows either, which shouldn’t matter, but surprisingly did on some level—she didn't think Kayne would appreciate her symbolically remaining married to Jarred. Then again, if he was anything like Jarred, the symbolism of a ring wouldn't matter. At least she could quit pretending to be mourning a man who’d never truly loved her.
Once the closet was empty, she unpacked Kayne’s clothes and hung up the uniforms someone had stuffed into a box. When she was done, she took his basket of dirty laundry and headed toward the laundry room.
She heard Isabelle chatting animatedly as she neared the kitchen. Isabelle was telling Kayne, who stood beside the stove, about a party she was attending tomorrow.
He glanced up when Jess walked in, gave her a nervous smile. “Would you like a grilled cheese sandwich or some soup?”
Jess looked at the clock. It was nearly noon. “Kayne, I'm so sorry, I got busy—”
“Stop.” He held up his hand. “We're fine. We can fend for ourselves, can't we, girls?”
Isabelle put one hand on her hip and gave him a “Seriously?” look. Jess had to fight back a bubble of laughter.
Kayne laughed outright. “Okay, so 'Sabella had to show me that you had homemade soup in the freezer.” He shrugged.
“I'm just going to go put these in the laundry.” Jess motioned to the laundry basket at her feet.
“I can do my own laundry, Jessica.”
“I…I don't mind. It will go in with everyone else's. There's a bag in the laundry room marked Dry Cleaners. I drop it off Monday morning after I take the kids to school, and it's ready Wednesday morning. But if you need a different schedule for your uniforms, let me know, and I'll adjust accordingly.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “I don't need you to take care of me.”
Jess simply nodded and continued on to the laundry room. Apparently, he was going to suffer through until he could file for divorce in ninety days. So, why would he want to put any effort into their sham of a marriage?
Jess started a couple loads of laundry, always glad for the second set of appliances with all the laundry four little kids went through in a week.
It wasn't difficult to tell that Kayne was angry with her, and so she took her time. She'd almost forgotten what it felt like to live with hostility. To feel that no matter what she was doing, it wasn't enough. Jess knew from experience she could put up with about anything, and so she would. As long as her kids didn't suffer.
After putting it off as long as she could, Jess finally headed back to the kitchen.
“Perfect timing.” Kayne sat a plate down on the island in front of an empty seat. “Sit down and eat something.”
“You eat this one. Gracie and I usually share.” Besides, she wasn't hungry, and she didn't need to eat anything. One look in the bathroom mirror earlier had reminded her how badly she'd let herself go. She'd always had a weight problem, and at five-three, even a few pounds made a very visible difference.
“So when you do eat, you eat like a two-year-old?”
“No share, mama, no share.” Gracie moved her plate away from Jess.
Kayne grinned. “See, even the two-year-old knows better.”
Jess fought the urge to say something rude. Thankfully, Kayne's ringing cell phone stopped her from saying anything she might regret. Or worse, not regret.
“Will you answer that for me?” He turned back to the sandwich he was grilling without even looking at the phone.
She hesitated, surprised by the request. Jarred had been adamant that his phone was his personal business and off limits, no matter what. Eventually, she'd understood why. Having his wife discover he was cheating made for an uncomfortable home life.
“Hello?” There was a long pause, but she could tell someone was on the line. “Hello?”
“Privet!” A woman's voice spoke in a heavy Russian accent. Hello! “S kem ya gavaryU?” the woman asked.
“Menya zavout, Jessica,” she answered, remembering some of the Russian she'd learned when she and Jarred had considered adopting from Russia years earlier. “S kem ya gavaryU?” she asked in return. If the lady wanted to know who she was, she should get the same courtesy.
“Jessica, who are you talking to?” Kayne cocked his head curiously, but made no move to take the phone from her.
“I don't know.” She glanced at the caller ID which showed an unknown number.
“Shto?” she asked into the phone. The lady had asked something, but she'd missed it, along with her name.
“Mozhno Sasha Dobrescu?” the woman said, clearly impatient.
“Sasha, she wants to talk to you.” Jess fought not to giggle and failed. When they were signing the marriage license in court, Jess had learned Kayne’s middle name was Aleksandr. Anyone who followed NHL hockey knew Alexander Semin’s nick name was Sasha, a common Eastern European pet name for Alexander, or even Alexandra as in Olympic figure skater Sasha Cohen’s case.
Kayne glared at the phone. “No, that's fine, keep talking, this is too good. I had no idea you spoke Russian.” He gave her the first genuine smile she’d seen from him all day.
“Tell that ungrateful bastard of mine I wish to speak with him,” the woman said in heavily accented English.
His mother? She knew he had one, she'd never thought of asking him anything about her.
***
Kayne groaned and took the phone. Just what he needed. He put it on speaker and laid it down. “Allo, Nina.” Kayne made his tone as cold as possible. “What do you want?” Why the hell was she calling him after all this time?
“I am your mother, show some respect.” She huffed out an indelicate breath. “Were you ever going to tell me you took another wife, or more importantly that you have found my granddaughter? Do you have any idea what it's like to get a call from...someone like Valentin Krysin, demanding to know why I did not inform him that his granddaughter lives? Men like that are not someone you want as an enemy.”
The very mention of Krysin's name infuriated him. “She is none of Krysin's business, or yours, for that matter. Especially not after what he said to me the last time I spoke with him.” They are dead, do not waste your energy mourning them. Forget about them. Move forward. Find another wife, start another family. Live your life.
“He wouldn’t even take Oksana home.” Regardless of what she'd done, she had deserved to be buried in her homeland, the place she'd so desperately loved. She deserved to be some place that her mother could tend her grave, because God knew, Kayne couldn't even step foot in that cemetery.
Jessica started easing away, and though they'd been pretty frosty to each other, Kayne’s natural inclination was to reach out and pull her to him. He wrapped his arm around her, anchoring her in place at his side. She tensed and held her body rigid at first, but after a couple moments, she relaxed into him. And she fit. There was no other word for it. She fit him.
Nina sighed. “Why do you hold on to the past so tightly, Sasha?”
Good question. Maybe because he never wanted to experience the bad shit again. Kayne drew a long shuddering breath. He wasn't going to think about his childhood, or Oksana, or anything else. He'd already done too much of that today.
“I finally took Krysin's advice. I have a new wife and family. And so now, I want to forget the past.”
“You should have done that long ago. Oksana was never worth the energy, and the child would have been better off having stayed lost.”
“What do you want?” He hadn't heard from the bitch in years. She'd been nowhere to be found when the kids and Oksana had died. Not that she'd ever been any significant part of his life. No, that honor went to the Dobrescus who’d taken him in when Nina abandoned him at age twelve. God, he needed to call Ben and Luann. He'd been afraid to get their hopes up, only to have to tell them he had no rights to Gracie. Now though, he couldn't wait to let them know.
“I want to see Tasha. So does her grandfather.”
“Absolutely not happening. Ever! I want nothing to do with any of you. I have to go.” He hung up.
Jessica patted the hand he still anchored at her waist and pulled away. She sat quietly playing with her food, taking small sips of the soup occasionally.
“I was a little surprised when I couldn't find any cans of soup in the pantry.” He tried for light conversation. “You should have seen the look on 'Sabella's face when I asked her.”
***
Jess smiled, she knew that look. Isabelle giggled. “Mama, he didn't know soup goes in the freezer.”
“Sweetie, in most houses it doesn't. It does here because I make it and freeze it, but a lot of mommies don't have time to do that, so they buy it at the store, in a can.”
“Yes, you guys are very lucky to have a mama who can be home with you all the time. It's excellent, by the way.” He pointed at his bowl with his spoon.
“Thanks, but they aren't home with me all the time. That schedule on the refrigerator will give you an idea. They have dance, music, gymnastics, and play dates each week. Oh, and Polly watches them for a couple hours each day.”
He walked over and studied the schedule. “Looks like you two keep Mama busy. I think she needs more than a few hours off, after all of this.”
Jess bristled. “I'm not sitting around getting a pedicure and eating bonbons.” She knew she was already on edge and should just keep quiet, but she didn't want him thinking she dumped the kids off somewhere while she went shopping or got her nails done. “On Mondays, I volunteer at Darcy's Kids, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I help out in Ash and Maddy's classes, in that order. The second Wednesday of the month is the school board meeting, but that's at night, I'm the secretary. And the third Thursday of the month...You know what, I'll give you a copy of my schedule.”
“You're going to have to, because you lost me back at Darcy's Kids. What is that?”
“Darcy used to work for the Parks and Rec department. She saw a need for an after school program for kids that...well, are on the borderline of needing intervention. For various reasons their parents struggle to provide the basics of life. The kids come after school, and she gives them snacks and then dinner before they go home, and they all get breakfast and lunch at school for free during the school year.”
Jess took a breath and slowly let it out before continuing. Darcy’s Kids was a cause she was very passionate about. “She finds clothes for them, makes sure they all have jackets and good shoes and warm clothes in the winter. They get medical and dental care when needed. She goes and picks many of them up to take to church on Sunday. Helps their parents find services to keep their power on, or a roof over their heads, running water, food, clothes etc. She's a really awesome lady. I started working with her years ago, and while I know I don't really have the time, I can't force myself to stop.”
Kayne leaned forward, his gaze intent. “And this is on top of running a business and raising four kids? Exactly when do you sleep, Jessica?”
“Jess. Only strangers call me Jessica.”
Kayne nodded. “Fair enough.”
“To answer your question, sleep's overrated.” She shrugged. “And honestly, the business just pays for this place.”
“I don't understand.”
“I used the money I got from... Jarred's wrongful death compensation…for upfront costs of building this place. But now, the business pays me back with interest. And a big chunk goes to college funds set up for all four of the kids. I don't do the event planning full time. I book less than half of what I could. I'm not in it to get rich; I do it because I like it, and I want my kids to have every opportunity I can give them. But I try really hard not to sacrifice time with them.”
Kayne studied his empty bowl for a moment. “I'd like to sit down and go over finances. I know I can't cover as much as I'd like to, but I want to contribute as much as possible.”
“I don't want your money, Kayne.” Jess stood and carried her bowl to the sink. “Weren't you listening? I don't need it.” God, had he even heard a word she'd said?
He followed her and set his bowl into the sink with a loud clank. “I sure as hell am not going to live here for free. I’m not one of your charities.” He leaned in close. “I will at least cover Gracie's and my expenses.”
Jess nearly lost it right there. She turned to the kids. “Isabelle, will you take Gracie upstairs and put your shoes on? We need to go to the store and get a birthday present for the party tomorrow.”
“Okay!” Isabelle said excitedly.
“Gracie pick present, a'kay?” Gracie asked Isabelle.
“You can help pick out the presents, okay?” Isabelle said.
“A' Kay!” Gracie bobbed her head enthusiastically and followed her sister out of the room.
***
Jess whirled to face Kayne the moment they were gone, her face fuming. “Get one thing clear, here and now, Kayne Dobrescu. Children in this house will be treated equally, regardless of how you feel about the rest of them. I grew up in a house where it was unbalanced. You have no idea what it feels like to realize you're not wanted, but just tolerated because someone has no choice but to do so.”
Jess brushed the hair out of her face with a shaky hand. “I swore I'd never let that happen in my house again. Ever! I know she's your daughter, and I can't stop you from walking out of here without looking back after the ninety-days is up. But while you're here, you are not going to hurt the rest of my children any more than you will be when you try and take Gracie away from them.”
“Whoa, wait, what are you talking about?” Kayne was taken aback by her anger and her assumptions.
She threw him a disbelieving look. “I'm not an idiot, Kayne, and neither are you. You know full well the only reason Judge Johnson forced us into this marriage was because he realized he had to give Gracie to you and couldn't stand hurting me.
“I know you don't want this any more than I do, but I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. Do anything you ask of me as your wife, and, when that's not enough, I won't ask questions. I will look the other way and not say a word over your activities outside this house, because I can't stand the thought of losing Gracie. The only thing I'm asking of you in return… no, I'm begging you…Do not make me watch my children be raised the way I was.”
Jess stormed out without giving him a chance to respond, even if he could have formed a coherent response. Jesus Christ, what the fuck had Jarred done to her? And the damn judge; he'd known her past, and he'd preyed on her fears to force her hand.
God, they'd all walked away winners today, and yet at this moment, it felt like everyone had lost.
Kayne took several deep breaths and slowly let them out, then did the only thing he knew to do. He picked up the phone with a trembling hand and dialed a number he hadn't called in almost two years.
“Kayne. Good to hear from you,” the familiar voice answered warmly.
“Hey, Pop.”
“Son, what's wrong?” Ben's voice came across loud and clear.
“I think I made a huge mistake.”