Another day wasted. No writing. No plotting. Nothing accomplished.
And I had a burn on my ass from the hours I’d spent lying on my stomach waiting for Rush to walk into the yard. I’d never worn a thong bathing suit in my life. Which was why my sun-virgin ass cheeks felt like they were on fire.
When Rush showed up this morning, I’d snuck into Riley’s room and grabbed one of her skimpy suits. I still couldn’t believe I’d had the nerve to wear the thing—it barely covered my breasts and exposed my entire ass.
But not even practically throwing myself at him naked worked. It made me feel depressed and more than a little angry. Riley noticed and came to sit with me on the couch.
“Spill your guts, four eyes.”
I switched sitting positions for the millionth time today, leaning more on my left hip than the burn, and pushed my glasses up onto my head. “I have no idea how you wear that bathing suit. My ass is fried to a crisp.”
“Oh no you don’t. You’re not avoiding this conversation anymore by blaming your depressing face on a burned ass.”
“What do you mean?”
She shot me a look that said no more bullshitting me. “What’s going on with you and the boss? I saw him out there with you this morning, rubbing lotion into your ass. It looked like he was about to squirt a different cream on you.”
“He came over to fix my car. I practically threw myself at him. Again. But nothing happened.”
“I honestly have no idea what you see in him. Well, aside from the obvious—that he’s fucking hot. But he’s such a douche.”
I shook my head. “He’s not really. Not once you get to know him. I think it’s his way of keeping people at a distance. He definitely doesn’t let people in easily.”
“But he let you in?”
“I think so, yes. We have a connection. I know he’s attracted to me. And I’m most definitely attracted to him. But it’s more than that. Although none of that does me any good because he won’t let anything happen between us physically, no matter how hard I try. I don’t get it.”
Riley pointed a finger. “You just answered your own question.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You said you two have a connection that’s more than physical.”
“So?”
“That’s the problem.”
“I’m not following.”
“A guy like Rush is a love ’em and leave ’em type of guy. I’ve worked at The Heights for three years. He has a certain type that he goes out with.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes. Whorey. I’ve seen a few stop in.”
“There’s a reason he only gets involved with a certain type of woman.”
“What is it?”
Riley laughed. “I don’t know. But you probably do if you’ve gotten close like you said.” She shrugged. “Maybe an ex burned him.”
“I don’t think he’s had any long-term relationships.”
“Okay.” She tapped her finger to her lip. “It’s not a relationship that someone is usually afraid of, it’s a bad relationship. And that usually comes from something in their life, like an ex. But maybe it’s something different.”
His father.
And how his father treated his mother. That could’ve given him a negative outlook for sure. But I didn’t want to discuss Rush’s private business with Riley, even though I considered her a good friend.
“I’m not sure. But if that’s the case, and he avoids relationships because of something in his life, how would I even get past that?”
Riley tossed a throw pillow she had been holding on her lap at me. “You don’t, silly. You give him what he thinks he wants, and let the relationship happen naturally. Tell him you just want a fuck buddy for the summer. Set his mind at ease that he doesn’t need to worry about the relationship part. Start humping each other, and if it’s meant to be, the rest will just fall into place, and he won’t even realize it until it’s too late.”
“I don’t know…that sounds like someone could get hurt...”
“Yes. You. If after your fuck buddy time is over, he breaks it off, of course you’re going to be hurt. But what do you have now? A weird friendship and celibacy. Look, when you leave after the summer is over, you’re going to be crushed if he doesn’t want to keep in touch, right? So why not have a bangin’ summer—pun intended—if you’re going to be sulking in September anyway?”
I suppose she had a point…there was just one problem. “But Rush doesn’t see me that way.”
“So make him see you that way.”
“How?”
“How long until you have to work?”
I looked at my phone. “About an hour and a half.”
Riley stood. “Come on, that’s not a lot of time to turn your nice ass into a whore.”
I felt like the pink ladies had just turned me into sexy Sandy from Grease. Getting out of my car, I looked down at my outfit one last time and took a deep breath. Red, low-cut shirt, short skirt, and heels that I doubted I could last an hour in, no less working all night. Riley had added a ton of body to my naturally wavy hair and done my makeup with all that contour stuff that I see people doing on YouTube, but never bothered to try out.
I glanced at my reflection in the window as I walked toward the door. I looked good. Sexy, in a slutty kind of way. Definitely more like the women Rush went out with. Oak whistled and opened the door. “Looking good, Gia.”
I blushed, but his comment actually helped my confidence level a little. “Thank you.”
Inside, I looked around, and a rush of relief washed over me finding no sign of the boss. Dressing for the part was only half the plan. I needed to actually cough up the courage to approach Rush and offer him…well, my body.
I threw myself into my usual prep before dinner—going over the reservations, checking in with the kitchen on what the specials are so that I knew them when people called and asked—they always called ahead and asked—bringing the bars extra bottles of whatever liquor was in the drink special of the evening, and helping the busboys set up the tables. I’d been there about an hour, with no sign of Rush still. It lulled me into feeling at ease, thinking maybe he wouldn’t show up tonight, and I wouldn’t have the chance to make my proposal to him.
Which was why when I opened the door to the back office to put one of the cordless phones on the charger, I didn’t expect anyone to be inside.
I jumped finding Rush. His desk was unusually clear, and he was sitting there staring off into space. “Rush! Sorry. I didn’t think you were here yet.”
His eyes made a slow sweep down my body and an even slower ascent. They snagged on my abundant cleavage on display for long seconds before his gaze met mine. “All dressed up tonight for a reason?”
Shit.
He’d just handed me the perfect opportunity to open the door. I swallowed and tried not to squirm. “Yes.”
Rush’s eyes narrowed. “Date?”
“Maybe.”
His stare was intense. “Who’s the lucky guy?”
My pulse started to race. It was about to happen. Don’t chicken out, Gia. Don’t be a chicken shit all your life.
Rush stood from his desk and walked around it. The office wasn’t very big to begin with, but having him two feet away while I said what I wanted to say made it feel like the walls were closing in on me.
He folded his arms and his jaw ticked. “Who’d you put that slutty outfit on for, Gia?”
I looked down at my feet, took a deep breath, and then met his gaze head on. “You. I wore this outfit for you.”
Rush took a step closer. His face was hard, not giving anything away. “You like to wear skimpy things for me, don’t you?”
I nodded.
“You like to tease me?”
My palms started to sweat. “No. Well, yes. But I don’t want to tease you anymore.”
He tilted his head. “You’re done teasing me?”
“Yes.”
“But you wore that outfit anyway?”
“Yes.”
“You don’t understand the definition of teasing then?”
Spit it out, Gia. Spit it out!
I took one last deep breath. I was either going to hyperventilate or get through this. “Teasing is when you provoke someone with no intention of following through.” I looked into his eyes. “I’d like to follow through. I think you and me…we should have sex.” Now that I’d popped the cork off the bottle, words started to pour out of me. “You don’t do relationships. We’re obviously attracted to each other. Sometimes we get along…although sometimes we fight, too. But it’s summer and…you know…we both have needs. So why not just be fuck buddies?” I cringed after that last part I said, thinking I sounded like a whore. Or Riley. Well…Riley did sleep around a lot. But that was beside the point. Now I couldn’t stop the rambling in my head, much less the rambling of my mouth. Great. Just great.
Rush arched a brow. “Fuck buddies?”
I pinched my come-fuck-me red painted lips shut and nodded.
“You only want to fuck me then? Nothing more?”
I nodded.
“I see.” He stared at me. “Let me get this straight…so we’re clear. You don’t want to date me?”
“No.”
“But you want to fuck me?”
“Yes.”
“So I could say…pop over to your place after work anytime I wanted and maybe eat you out?”
I swallowed. “Yes.”
“And maybe sometimes you’d give me a blow job.”
“Sure.”
“And I could leave after sex was over? No snuggling or niceties required?”
“That’s right.”
His damn face was so stoic; I had no clue what was going on in that head of his. After another minute-long, intense stare that I almost crumbled under, he walked back behind his desk and took a seat.
“How long do I have?”
“Pardon?”
“To decide and give you my answer to your proposal.”
“Oh.” I hadn’t thought that far. But I couldn’t torture myself forever. I straightened my spine. “By the end of the night.”
Rush picked up a pen and pulled a piece of paper from a neat pile on the corner of his desk. Beginning to read, he grumbled without looking up. “Go back to fucking work, Gia.”
The rest of that night was tense, to say the least.
I’d catch Rush staring at me while I worked. He wasn’t flirting or anything. In fact, he looked more pissed as the night wore on. It was impossible to know what he was thinking.
Unable to concentrate, I was making mistakes left and right, forgetting to bring menus to the table or leading people to the wrong sections—all of this, of course, under Rush’s watchful eye.
The realization of what I’d done was starting to hit me. Why had I gotten dressed up like this? The man had officially driven me to act crazy. I’d made a fool of myself in front of him—thrown myself at him. That was never the answer to getting a man to want you. That was the opposite of what someone should do.
I’d gotten myself glammed up, made myself look like a slut, even though, deep down, I knew his attraction to me was never the issue; it was that he didn’t want to be with me. Period. He liked messing with me, flirting with me, pushing the limits. But he didn’t actually want to pull the trigger. If he did, it would have happened by now. I had mistaken his alpha male need to protect me for serious interest. I was dead wrong. The man had issues, and I was done with being one of them.
At one point, with about an hour left until closing, Rush brushed by me and said, “Come to my office after your shift.” He walked away before I could respond, leaving the musky scent of cigarettes and cologne in his wake.
Great. This was it. This was going to be the point where he gave me all of the reasons why he didn’t want to pursue anything with me.
He knew that I wasn’t the sex-only type. We’d talked about that very fact, for Christ’s sake. There was no tricking him.
Besides, why would he bother with someone who was emotionally needy when he had beautiful women falling at his feet all of the time, ones who truly only wanted the same thing he did? Just sex, not love.
You’re such a fool, Gia.
After my shift ended, I kept putting off going to his office. He’d disappeared from the main area, so I assumed he might have been waiting for me back there.
Maybe I’d ditch him and just go home. After all, I had a functioning car parked right outside now, thanks to him. There was no reason I had to put myself through the agony of hearing his rejection.
I kept stalling until he finally marched down to the hostess area, looking more pissed-off than ever.
“We closed a half-hour ago. I thought I told you to meet me in my office. I’ve been waiting there for you.”
Organizing some menus and no longer looking him in the eye, I said, “Yeah, well, I don’t have to jump just because you tell me to.”
“Gia…” he barked. When I looked up, his eyes seared into mine. “Get your ass in my office.”
Rush stormed away, and I gave in, following him with my heart pounding.
After shutting the door behind me, I folded my arms. “Okay, what?”
Rush sat down and kicked his feet up on the desk. He began tapping a pen repeatedly before saying, “I’ve been thinking about what you proposed earlier, and I don’t think it’s a good idea. I—”
“Stop!” I yelled. I was losing it. “Just stop! I don’t need to hear this, okay? I already know what you’re going to say, that you don’t believe I really meant what I said about being friends with benefits. You’ll never view me as a fuck buddy. Yada Yada. Please spare me. I don’t need to sit through the explanation.”
His rolling chair banged against the back wall as he suddenly got up. After marching toward where I was standing, he stopped about a foot away from me. “Will you let me finish?”
I backed away from him toward the door. “No. I don’t want to talk about it. I acted like a fool, throwing myself at you, and it never should’ve happened. You’re right. I’m not the type of girl for you. I have dignity and self-respect, and I want more—so much more than to be your fuck toy. I don’t care how attractive you are with all of that mysterious, bad-boy shit you have going on. In the end, you’re a man who wants none of the same things that I do out of life.”
“Can I just—”
“No,” I interrupted. “I’m gonna go.”
Just as I turned around, I felt his hand grip my wrist. He flipped me around before backing me up against the door.
I could feel his breath as he spoke close to my face. “You are so fucking stubborn. I should bend you over and smack your ass so hard for not letting me get a word in edgewise.”
My nipples went erect upon that thought. I swallowed. “See…this is what you do. You—”
“Shut. Up.”
Before I could ream him out for telling me to shut up, his lips were on mine, swallowing up all of my unsaid, smartass comments. My legs nearly collapsed from the sheer power of his kiss.
Rush’s hands were buried in my hair as he pushed his tongue inside my mouth. I desperately met the rhythm of its thrusts. He tasted so damn good, like cigarettes and a taste all his own. I moaned into his mouth, unable to hide my desperation for more. My hands were now digging through his hair, pressing his lips deeper into mine. I couldn’t get enough of his intoxicating taste.
His scruff burned a little against my chin as he leaned his body farther into mine and continued to invade my mouth. He ran his hands from my hair all the way down my back until they landed on my ass. He squeezed it hard before unapologetically pushing his rigid cock against my abdomen.
His low grumbles of pleasure were all I’d imagined them to be. I felt myself falling weaker and weaker the more he continued to devour my lips. My panties were now soaked, and I knew I was a goner if he tried to take me right then and there.
Rush sucked on my bottom lip hard before suddenly ripping himself away. He looked pained as he panted. “We need to talk.”