“Slow down, babe. We’ve got all night.”
Bella is tearing at the zipper on my jeans, her mouth all over me as she works quickly to rid me of my clothes and get this party started. She’s been like this since I opened the door to let her in. Aggressive and intent on bedding me as quickly as possible. While I’m all for that, the lack of emotion on her face concerns me.
Lots of things concern me, actually. Like my inability to reach her by phone. Or the unanswered door when I occasionally stop by her apartment. When I do finally hook up with her, she’s either totally distant or voracious, like she is now, in her pursuit of my cock. I’m a guy so I’m cool with that, but there’s a little voice in my head that reminds me we need to have a long talk after we’re done.
Stepping out of my shorts, I stand back to watch her strip quickly and fall to her knees with a smile. Damn, but I’d be a fool to deny her. Bella has an expert mouth. And she goes after me like she’s hungry, like my dick is her next meal, which is oddly hot and a little disturbing too. Hell, what isn’t disturbing with her? She’s been so all over the place the past few weeks, I hardly know who she is.
We didn’t see one another at Christmas, but the day after I showed up at her place and we barely made it inside before we were screwing on the tile floor. Then it was the couch. Then the shower and her bed and the bathroom floor. And by the time she shoved me out the door hours later, stating in no uncertain terms that she had to get some rest before work the next day, I admit I was foggy-headed over the girl.
But the mist has now faded and while she’s a spectacular lay, she’s also the most confusing woman I’ve ever been around. One minute she’s happily falling all over me and the next she’s rolling out of my bed before the sun rises, escaping to her place. I never know what I’m going to get when I’m with her, which is bothersome.
Don’t get me wrong, predictability is boring. And she’s anything but predictable. She’s eager as hell when it comes to sex, and yet she’ll avoid a conversation at every turn. She will rarely go out in public with me, even though I’ve asked her many times. I can’t tell if it’s because she’s worried about running into that man again or simply because she has no interest in the two of us behaving like a real couple.
She works me hard with her mouth, licking and sucking and taking me so damn deep I almost lose the ability to stand. Seeing her kneeling before me, all that dark hair spilling around her shoulders, plump pink lips working my flesh, hardens my dick to the point of pain. She’s such a beauty, so free with her body and yet so unwilling to release her heart. If I wasn’t so turned on right now, I might worry that she’s using me. But damn … at this moment I couldn’t care less.
Grasping her head, I extract myself from her mouth and growl, “Not tonight. Tonight, I need to fuck you.”
She looks at me with a hazy, lost expression. A half-smile lights her face. “Okay.”
Pulling her up to her feet, I tip her head back and press my lips to hers, my tongue searching. She sighs into my kiss, stepping closer and aligning our naked bodies. Already heated up by her expert mouth, I’m dangerously close to the edge and need to make sure she’s right there with me. Palming her breasts, I work her nipples gently at first then end with a firm twist and tug I know turns her on. She moans right on cue and her head falls back, hands sliding over my ass.
I lead her over to the bed and spread out in the middle encouraging her to straddle me. The moment she’s there, her hands go immediately to my cock working it between her firm grasp.
With a chuckle, I shove her hands aside and murmur, “Gotta stop that. You can play later.” Reaching between her legs, I finger her gently, increasing the wetness twofold when I roll my thumb over her clit. She moans again, hips moving against my hand seeking release anywhere she can get it.
Stopping only long enough to roll a condom on, I pull her closer until she’s lined up over me. Eyes closed, she sighs as she starts to sink down, slowly taking me in, inch by inch. Once her pelvis is flush against mine and she’s stuffed full of me, she groans and her eyes meet mine.
Uneasy chills race down my spine. She looks directly at me, but what I see is cause for great concern. What I see is … nothing. No light, no laugher, no warmth. Nothing but complete and total emptiness. For all the emotion she showed me the first time we were together, now there’s nothing but a dark, hollow void looking back at me. Sure, she’s turned on. That is evident by the flush on her face and the dripping wetness between her thighs, but she’s disconnected; physically taking part in the act itself but emotionally separated from it and from me completely.
Pinching my eyes closed, I shove the anxiety aside and concentrate on the here and now. I’ve got a beautiful woman ready and willing to fuck me into oblivion, and I’m lying here worrying about what I don’t see on her face. Screw that. I’ll have time to contemplate feelings—or lack thereof—later. Much, much later.
She lifts up slowly then slides back down rolling her hips as she starts to work herself on me. Looking at her once again, I watch as she palms her breasts and her fingers pinch her nipples as she rides me. Fucking sight to behold, that’s for sure. This magnificent creature wants nothing more from me than the pleasure I can give her. And who the hell am I to deny her that?
She smirks at me when she works a hand between her legs and increases the pace. She knows exactly what it does to me watching her seek gratification from her body as well as mine. I grow painfully harder with each rock of her hips, each soft moan, each tweak of her fingers.
“Oh … oh … yes!” She shudders above me as her body fists mine.
Flipping her beneath me, I go for broke now. This is not going to be one of those times when I fuck her in every position before I come. I’ve been pissed off and brewing for a fight all day, since my less than productive meeting with the principal and lack of resolution with the Sunny situation. The best way I can work out some of this hostility is to fuck and fuck hard.
Bella likes it hard. She likes it slow too. She really likes when I get her off with my mouth and again with my dick. The woman is eager and willing to do whatever I suggest, which at times can be a little intimidating. There’s nothing she won’t do, but I have to question the motive behind her acquiescence. While I might have thought that first night she wanted something permanent from me, now it’s quite the opposite. I have no clue what she wants from me, from herself, or from us as a potential couple. The only thing she proves without a doubt is that she likes getting fucked by me.
Taking her hands in mine, I hold them above her head and thrust fast and hard. She won’t look at me at all when I’m over her, not anymore, not like she did in the beginning. Her eyes are closed, head thrown back, mouth open on a sigh. Emotionally disassociated from the act completely.
“Look at me,” I whisper. She doesn’t comply. In fact, she actually shakes her head no. “Look at me or I’m stopping.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” she says.
Difficult as it is, that’s exactly what I do, though I’m still buried deep inside of her. “Look at me, dammit.” She lies beneath me, flushed and panting, head turned to the side. Beautifully broken in every way. “Please, Bella. Just open your eyes and look at me.”
With a hard swallow, she lifts her lids and glares up at me. “Satisfied?” I’m so stunned by her hostility, her coldness, I can only lie there on top of her with my mouth open. “Now will you please get going? I need to come again.”
Growling out a curse, I slide from her warm body and roll to the edge of the bed. Seated there with my back to her and my wet dick swinging in the wind, I’d laugh if I didn’t feel like such a damn fool. Snapping off the condom, I toss it aside and drag my hands through my hair. I can’t believe that just a few weeks ago she and I were sharing confidences and now we’re like two strangers.
“What’s going on with you? Don’t you want this? Don’t want me anymore?”
She sighs and sits upright, pulling her knees to her chest in a move I’ve seen many times and recognize as her go-to defense. “Of course I want you. You were just inside me, you must have known that.”
She’s making this all about the sex when the truth is it’s just the opposite. How ironic, since it’s usually the chick whining about my lack of emotion. That’s what she’s turning me into … .a big whiny girl.
Rotating, I grasp her hand in mine and look her over. She’s once more avoiding eye contact. Her cheek rests on her knees, head turned toward the window. “Please talk to me. Tell me what this is all about.”
“Why do you mean?”
Frustrated, I move in front of her, hands grasping either side of her face. “Look at me, dammit. Just look at me.” She stubbornly keeps her eyes averted and tries to pull back from me. “Tell me why you won’t look at me. Have I done something, hurt you in some way?”
“No. Of course not.”
Shaking her slightly, I growl, “Then fucking look at me. Talk to me.”
The same vacant look is in her eyes when they finally meet mine, and my stomach knots with worry when I realize she looks more lost than she did a few moments before. “There. Now can we please get on with this, otherwise I’m going home. I have stuff to do.”
Tipping my forehead to hers, I shove aside the anger and whisper, “Baby please talk to me. Tell me what happened to the warm, loving woman I was first with. Tell me what I can do to help you find her again.”
She tries to pull away once more and this time I come down over her trapping her small body beneath mine. If this is the only way I can get her talk to me, I’ll do it. I’m so damn desperate for the truth. Hell, I’m desperate for anything at this point, except the cold, hard woman who climbs on my body any chance she can get.
“Bella, come on. Talk to me. This is me, remember? The guy you trusted enough to tell your deepest, darkest secret.” Lips against her forehead, I whisper, “I’m still that guy. I’m right here with you. You can talk to me and tell me anything.”
For a brief moment, I watch the cold façade begin to fade, the cracks in her resolve start to splinter wide open. Warmth floods her eyes turning them from muted globes of murky blue to the vibrant depths of blue-green that I’ve grown so enamored with. She’s my Isabella again, the women I first became entranced with months ago, the one woman who threatens the hold I have on my heart.
Smiling down at her, I say softly, “There you are, beautiful. I knew you’d come back to me.”
My words are the catalyst for the shutters to cover her eyes once again, for her jaw to tighten in anger, and for her hands to push me away. “Get off me.”
“Bella, come on …”
“Get off of me!”
I roll to the side and she scampers off the bed and frantically pulls on her clothes. And damn if I can’t read her like a book. I’ve got her MO down pat. She’ll run out of here, spend a few days ignoring my calls and texts, then eventually give in and try to fuck me silent once again. It’s what she’s done since our first time together and each time since then she just gets colder and retreats deeper inside herself.
Shooting up off the bed, I grab her by the shoulders and gently shove her against the nearest wall. “I’m not letting you leave until we talk.”
Defiantly, she glares up at me. “You can’t keep me here, Jace.”
Her insolence pisses me off, and fuck if I don’t feel myself getting hard all over again. “I can and I will.”
She struggles to no avail and when I lift her off her feet and pull her legs around my hips, she growls, “Let me go!”
Wearing only her bra and unbuttoned shirt, she’s an enticing mixture of pissed off female and warm, wet eagerness. Through the hostility and hatred in her eyes, I can see the need burning brightly once again. She may tell herself she doesn’t need me, doesn’t want me, doesn’t want this, but her body says just the opposite.
Without another thought, I slam in deep and pull a gasp from her as I go for broke and start to thrust fast and hard. I’m so lost in trying to prove my point, trying to break down her walls, that I forget about being gentle, forget about using care. If I have to fuck the truth out of her I will.
“Christ, you’re stubborn,” I snarl near her ear.
“Shut up and get me off,” she growls back.
She takes it all, everything I can give her and then some, moaning and writhing against me as she rolls through one orgasm and works toward another. While she’s coming down, I pull away from the wall and walk us backward toward the bed sitting us on the edge and gripping her hips tightly. She starts to ride me hard, rotating her hips and bouncing, driving away the anger and uncertainty with each thrust.
We tear at each other’s hair, dig our fingers into soft flesh, and go at it like we’ve never done this before. Wild and out of control. I can’t recall ever being this hard or her ever being this wet, and the knowledge that we’re both getting pleasure from the pain nags at me. Thankfully, the gratification far supersedes the need to think, or worry, or wonder.
She curses loudly and starts to scream when she comes, her whole body shaking through it as she takes me over with her. Time stops, my vision blurs, and all that matters is the amazing woman in my arms. Turning my head, I search for and find her lips. The gentleness of the kiss sends a jolt to my heart—a far cry from the violent way we just came together.
Panting, I open my eyes and find her looking right at me, eyes swimming with tears. Fear threads through my entire body. Did I push her too far, take things to the extreme, try to pull something from her that she’s simply not capable of feeling? “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” she whispers in return, one lone tear trickling out and sliding down her face. “But I hurt you. And I’m so very, very sorry.”
Pulling her into my arms, I hold her tightly as she begins to sob. Her face is buried in my neck as pain racks her body. I’m helpless once again with no idea what to say or do. I can only give her my strength, my warmth, and the knowledge that when she’s ready to completely release herself to me, I’ll be here.